← Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
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- [00:02]
A
So often we focus on what we don't have and we let that paralyze us.
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B
Trent Shelton from NFL athlete to seriously a global inspiration. Trent turned personal struggles into rehab, time of movement, helping millions find purpose and self worth.
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A
Sometimes you have to lose what you want to do to walk into what's really meant for you. You know, I was three years into the NFL and they bring me and say, hey, you know, we gotta bring this guy in. We love you, but we can't keep you. And now, like, what do I do with my life? Most people say, how do I stay consistent? I'm not consistent. You are consistent. You're consistent at doing the wrong thing or the right thing. You're a consistent human being. But you'll stay more consistent when you understand how much it's costing you not to be consistent. You never will fix what you're not willing to face. Losing one of my best friends in my life. The suicide was the reason that I started rehab time.
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How do you turn pain into power?
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A
I have five words that I live by. Scientifically, it is proven to make you take ownership and it will change your life. And those five words is.
- [01:17]
B
Trent Shelton from NFL athlete to seriously a global inspiration, Trent turned personal struggles into rehab, time of movement, helping millions find purpose and self worth. A bestselling author, speaker, podcaster with over 18 million followers, maybe more. I can't even count friends. But how did all of this start? Take us back in time to your childhood days.
- [01:44]
A
Thanks for having me on the podcast. I really appreciate you. But jogging my memory back, you know, ever since I was a young boy, I wanted to be an athlete, whether it be football, basketball, baseball. I have two older brothers, and so they're four and six years older than me. So it's kind of like no choice. Like, as a kid, I want to follow their footsteps and they were sports addicts. And my whole childhood, I grew up in New Orleans and it was great. Both my parents were supportive, still are. My mom has passed, but my dad is still supportive to this day. I had good role models in my life and sports was my everything. So at a young age, I had that dream. Like, I had a vision, I had an intention, and I knew what I wanted to do with my life. We ended up moving to Texas when I was in seventh grade. And if you know anything about Texas, like, sports is religion out here. So being out in Texas, it really helped me elevate my chances of being a professional athlete. My childhood was basically that, you know, it was a great childhood, but wrapped.
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B
Around sports, did they instill that extra motivation in you? Like how. Because even sports, I mean, you need to get back up. What do you think led to that motivation?
- [02:47]
A
I think the support of my parents, like, knowing that I was loved regardless. Of course they were gonna push me to be the best, but they didn't love me just because I scored a touchdown. I had a good or bad game. Their love didn't change. And so once I knew that I didn't have to win them over by stats or by having a good game and just me being myself was enough, it made me want to repay my parents back. Because my parents, they were the type of parents, even to this day, my dad, like, when my kids, like, he travels and he supports. And they were the type of parents that when I looked in the stands, I saw my mom and dad, no matter where the game was. And so my whole motivation, to be honest with you, was to be able to give them a gift. I'm not paying for my college to say, hey, I got a full athletic scholarship or even academic. You know, I took care of my grades. I was a straight A student. So that was my motivation and drive throughout my whole life to be able to give my parents the gift of saying, you supported me in my dream. And so I want to give you a gift back to let you know you don't have to pay for my school.
- [03:41]
B
And that's incredible. So you get to NFL, which is very, very hard to do. Talk to us a little bit about playing football in college.
- [03:50]
A
Yeah, I mean, college was great. College probably the funnest time of my life. We struggled a little bit as a team, but I was able to excel as an individual. As an individual at Baylor, and I was put in a position to make it to the NFL. So my college career went great. I mean, as a team, I would like for us to win more, but I built a lot of great brotherhoods and relationships. And you learn there, like, what brotherhood really is. Like, you're seeing your guys, you learn team. I bring this into the workspace today. You learn sacrifice, you learn commitment, you learn that it's bigger than you. And college really taught me that because, I mean, you're living, you're breathing sports, and what you do affects your teammate, affects your brother. If you don't take care of your business, then your brother is going to be affected by that. So it taught a different level of discipline and sacrifice that I felt like nothing else in my life had taught me up to that point.
- [04:37]
B
I love that you said that. I Think, because I got a lot of it from the military. So I was in the Air force as an F16 flight instructor. And I think, like, that, you know, we're in this together is something that is hard to teach. It's something that is not there later on, I feel in life. And that was so fundamental. So I just love that you said that, Trent. So tell us a little bit about the day where you realize that that career is not going to take you further. That must be a hard moment.
- [05:07]
A
Yeah, that was probably the worst day of my life up to that point. You know, that was three years into the NFL, my NFL career. It was the typical one. It's not the one that's glorified. Cause you just think people make millions of dollars. But there are a lot of guys that every day they're fighting to stay alive. They're fighting for a job. And there were so many times where my mental health suffered because I didn't know if I was going to get fired that day. There's been days where I come off the practice field having a great practice, phenomenal practice. And they bring me and say, hey, you know, we gotta bring this guy in. We love you, but we can't keep you. And now, like, what do I do with my life? And my final straw was, it wasn't actually the end of my career. It was the year before when I was with the Seattle Seahawks. And I had this moment where I don't go into the whole story, but I was actually in Dallas at home, and I was released at that point. They called me, told me to come back. I packed my bags, I rushed to the airport, and they gave me another call before I get on the plane. Say, hey, Trent, have you left yet? I'm like, no, I haven't left yet. Like, good, because we changed our mind. That was the day where I was like, okay, man, I can't take this no more. Like, this isn't how I want to live. Like, so much anxiety and so much excitement and somebody controlling my life. Just like that. End up playing for another year. But I knew in that next year that this wasn't what I wanted to do anymore. It was no love for the game anymore.
- [06:18]
B
And that must be really, really hard, because I feel like when. When you are so in something and you do that basically all the time, this is part of your life, it becomes part of your identity. And suddenly, like, who am I without football? Who am I without tech? So take me there for a second, because that is a hard moment.
- [06:39]
A
As humans and we're programmed this way. And whatever you do, more than likely when you put your all into something, your identity tends to be wrapped around that. It could be a relationship, it could be a job. And for me at the time it was a sport. And so for what, 16, 18 years of my life, I was this football player, this athlete. And so now the first moment in my life that's since I've been five years old, now I don't have that identity anymore. So what do I do in my life? I have no idea who I am. I never worked a 9 to 5. You can say you went to school to study, but you really went to school so you can make it to the NFL. And so I have no idea what to do in my life. And I was lost. You know, I remember looking at my, all my trophies and I was at my parents house because I still live with them. When I came back home in my room and I was just looking around like, man, is my life over? And you see so many athletes struggle with that. Not just athletes, but so many people that's wrapped their life around something. When that ends is like, man, what do I do in my life? And that was the first moment where I felt lost, where I felt insecure, where I felt I didn't have a purpose. I felt, do I even matter?
- [07:40]
B
To me, that takes me back in time. When I lost, I was kicked out of my own startup at some point and you know, lost everything, right? That was my identity, my tech was my identity. And suddenly I, you know, you're like, so who am I? Like, I don't even know what I want next, right? And I think even that like just not knowing. So take us there for a second because I know a lot of our listeners are exactly there. They either lost a job or they want more in their life, or they' they suddenly they realize that all their life their identity was attached to the title or to the company that they were with or whatever it is. And suddenly they feel like a nobody. How did you recover, Trent?
- [08:20]
A
Well, I had to face my reality. I think that's the first step. You never will fix what you're not willing to face. I like to say you'll never win your award by running from your battles. And so in my rehab process, I have a three part process and the first process is reality. You know, I had to face that, hey, this is over, it's done. But it doesn't mean that your life has to be over. And sometimes you have to lose certain things to gain better things. Sometimes you have to lose what you want to do to walk into what's really meant for you. And it's easy to say that obviously on this side of it, but these were things I was telling myself. And there was this little inkling of hope. I'm talking about, like, spectacle, like, hope. When I was in that room, I said, man, like, maybe my life is just beginning. Maybe this had to end so I can walk into my purpose. And I held onto that, hoping. The thing I would tell people listening to this right now is who you are is what you are. I mean, who you are is who you are. You know, we talk about purpose. I get this question a lot, Trent. How do I find my purpose? And I tell people, stop searching for it because the world doesn't have your purpose. A job doesn't have your purpose. A title doesn't have your purpose. A financial piece of paper doesn't have your purpose. You are the purpose. And when you understand that, you realize that you can take your life just as well. I was great in sports. The same characteristics I had in that sport, I can take that into the workplace, I can take that into my purpose, I can take that into my company, because it's who I am. That's just what I do. And so I would just tell everybody listening to this right now, I know it's hard when something ends, but you still have you, right? You still have your mindset, you still have your characteristics, you still have your value. You still have the great things about yourself that you just gotta now figure, how do I now adjust, right? How do I now, you know, rearrange certain things to put it into something else? And I think when you realize that if you can be successful at something, I truly feel like you can be successful at something else also.
- [09:57]
B
And that's so powerful, what you just said, because I think one of the things that we see again, again in Leap Academy is that somebody wobbles, loses a job, or just not as motivated about, or they're in a toxic environment or whatever is happening in their life. You lose so much confidence because you start stacking the evidence all against you. And, you know, you just started spiraling down and you tend to forget all the amazing things that you've done. Just like you said, if you already been amazing, you can take this to the next thing. But that confidence is. And really understanding, okay, so what is my zone of genius without football, without, like, what is that? That now I can unleash that full potential and take myself even higher? That, to me, is so powerful. And for you, I think there was also another layer, which was becoming a father. That made it, I would think, even harder. So take us there for a second, Trent.
- [10:55]
A
Tristan's now 16, which is crazy. You know, Tristan wasn't. And he knows this. You know, it wasn't like Tristan was planned at the time when me and Maria. Me and Maria were dating. Now Maria is my wife. But it was a surpr. I was like, man, like, okay, I'm not ready for this. But it's here, right? I can't run from this reality at all. And the first time I held Tristan, and most parents had this moment, but this was, man, the first time I held him, I was like, it's bigger than me. And for the first time in my life, I really, really, truly felt that I'm responsible for someone else. And so I had to go inward and ask myself this simple question. Do I want Tristan to follow in my footsteps and to be totally transparent? My answer was no. At that time, if I was able to give Tristan the current life that I was living in and say, hey, here's your life, I wouldn't be proud of that. And so Tristan always tell people is the reason that I became a better man. It's the reason that I say, okay, I got to make sure I leave a better path for him. And he became my why. He became my reason. I even tattooed his face on me. He still brings up to this day. I tattoo. We get. We argue. He's like, you have. You have my tattoo. So that's his favorite thing to go to. He gave me a bigger sense of meaning, a bigger sense of purpose in my life that held me accountable to the things that I said I wanted to do. He was the push for me to really make it happen and build a better life for my family.
- [12:14]
B
And I think there's another element. I want to take you there for a second before we kind of build your. The incredible trend that I've seen about seven, eight years ago. We'll talk about that. But you also lost a lot, you know, a good friend to suicide. I remember seeing it also on your podcast, and I think that created another layer of why. Can you talk for a second about that, Trent? I thought that was incredibly powerful.
- [12:39]
A
Yes. 2010. You know, I said, Tristan was the reason I became a better man in this moment. Losing my college roommate, you know, one of my best friends in my life. The suicide was the reason that I walked into my purpose was the reason that I started rehab time was the reason I stayed like really made it a real thing, you know, he killed himself. And he killed himself because he lost some things in his life. He lost a relationship, relationship. He lost a dream, and he felt like life wasn't worth living. And it was my commitment to him. I don't even say the word promise. It was a commitment. Because commitment doesn't work off convenience. Commitment, you know, it's loyal despite what's going on. It was my commitment to him to live the rest of my life being what y'all see today, helping people with their self worth, Helping people know that despite what you lose, who you lose, you don't have to lose yourself and there's more to your life. That's why every stage I ever speak on, you know, that message is always echoed. Because it was my promise to him in his casket, my commitment to him in his casket, that I'm going to be this person, and I want people to understand, understand, like, this was not, like, what y'all see today. This is me being a speaker and being, you know, all the things. This was a very big commitment because this wasn't who I was. I'm a quiet person by nature. You know, I wasn't a speaker. I wasn't all these things. And so for me to walk into this and make that commitment, it was huge. I was walking to a new beginning, an unknown territory. But I found a sense of purpose that I knew that was bigger than me. That's how rehab time, and that's how my journey really started in 2010.
- [14:05]
B
I have chills. Seriously, Trent, thank you for sharing that. And I think you also talk about in your podcast about him sharing. If you had two years to live, what would you do differently? I think, and that's a really powerful question to ask yourself, right? Like, what would you change? And why are we not changing it today? Right? So was that part of that promise?
- [14:28]
A
Yeah, in a sense, you know, like, it made me look at my life. It made me sit down with our other roommate. Like, we were all three, like, really close friends, and me and my current best friend, we sat down at that time and asked ourselves, like, what are we doing? Forever comes with an expiration date. You don't have time, even though you do have time. And it's like, how do we want to spend this time? And if we have two years, like, what would we do right now? At that moment, I can honestly say that I would die with incompletion, right? I would die with dreams, with books, with all the things inside of me and things I never did. Creations. And I made a commitment to myself at that moment. You know what? I'm going to go do all the things, all the ideas. I'm going to give it to the world. And that's what created what people see now. It was just me honoring my ideas. Me honoring my ideas of going live back then when it wasn't the popular thing to do back in 2010, me doing the spoken words that people know, me even writing books at that time, me speaking, that was just me honoring my ideas. I didn't know it would turn into what it turned into today. And to be real with you, it wasn't even think of helping people. It was really helping myself. It was my therapy, my way of healing. And what I found out, that, man, my transparency led to other people's transformation. So I said, oh, the things that I'm going through, other people are going through it too. Let me talk more about these things. And that led me down the path of changing lives.
- [15:47]
B
There's a quote that says the richest place in the world is the graveyard because that's where all the ideas that never came, you know, the books that never been written, you know, companies have never been started. And to me, that's kind of what you're saying, like, why are we waiting? Right, let's go. So you're starting to share your story on social media and it kind of starting to step into that motivational speaker. We'll talk about how I saw you a little bit later on, but how did you get started? Can you share a little bit about the beginning? Because I think the beginning is what everybody stumbles on, right? It's like. But I don't know. And it's not going to be perfect. I don't know what to say. So share a little bit about the beginning trend.
- [16:28]
A
This device right here changed my life, this cell phone. You know, at the beginning, in personal development, there really wasn't a lot of example. It was great people, by the way, but it wasn't a lot of example where I could be like, oh, I see me in this person, or I see me doing this. And a lot of it was professional. You know, a lot of it, it was, you got to have the cameras and everything. And I didn't have that, you know, I didn't have any cameras. I didn't have a team. And so I said, what do I have? Because so often we focus on what we don't have and we let that paralyze us. So for me, I was like, okay, yeah, I don't have a Lot of stuff. But what do I have? I got. I got a message and I got a cell phone. So I picked up my cell phone and I pressed live. And I know it's so popular now, but back then, people weren't going live like that. And I pressed live and I streamed, and I would share my heart simply as that I had no idea of. Like, man, like, these are the steps, these are the points. I'm just like, I'm gonna press live and share my heart and talk about what I'm currently going through. And that's how I started as far as on the Internet and a big catalyst in my whole movement. I teach people this to this day. I said, man, you know, people weren't bringing me in to speak. Like, I wasn't like, oh, come. Most people, you know, they wait. They wait for people to come to them. But I say, man, you can't be passive. A passive life will pass you by, get you passed by. So I said, okay, what can I do? So I reached out to all my connections in sports. I reached out to teachers. Luckily, I was a good student. Didn't disrespect. I reached out to my old teachers and hey, can I come speak to the school? So I would go speak to elementary schools, I would speak to high schools. I would speak anywhere I could. Teams, ymca, it didn't matter. Anywhere there were ears, even on the street corners, like, that was facts in downtown Fort Worth. I would go share my message, and that message started to get around. And so when I would go speak, somebody would be like, hey, can you come speak here? Because I just heard you speak here. Sure. And the thing that started my first conferences, quote unquote, I didn't have the money to throw on conferences. So I called them live conversations. And it gives me chills to this day. I had enough money to be able to travel to places. I had enough of a following where, you know, maybe two or three people will show up in the city. My very first city was Las Vegas, because I put on Facebook at the time, like, how many people have in Las Vegas? And like, 10 people responded. So I said, cool. Scrapped up some money, flew to Las Vegas. I asked a person, person that was on my Facebook, hey, does anybody have, like, a location I can borrow a library, like a classroom? A woman hit me up and said, hey, my uncle has a classroom you can use. Say, cool. I get this classroom, and I invite everybody for free. We sit down, we have these live conversations. I bring some merchandise to sell to cover my flight, cover my hotel. And I did this in probably 10 or 11 cities. The next year I came back, it would grow by 20, it would grow by 32 years, it'd be a hundred people. But I tell people I started by going to libraries anywhere, free, that I can have these small, little, small groups, quote, unquote, I call them my conversations, so people can experience who I was and see this was a real thing. And I put in that legwork to be able to be who I am today.
- [19:17]
B
So that even is even more incredible for me to hear because fast forward a few years. I actually saw you in a huge conference. You spoke right before Tony Robbins. And I showed it a little bit before, but I want to share it with my listeners. One of the biggest things about trend, you showed a video of how you got started, and you basically said, hey, don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle or success or whatever it is. And you showed yourself with that phone. Right. Or like a basic video live. And for me, I think that was exactly what I needed to see at that moment to realize that you're going to have to take those imperfections, steps every single day, because if you're gonna try to wait for that perfection, it's never going to come. And that created a huge impact on me. So, Trent, I mean, that's first of all. Thank you. What a journey to that big stage.
- [20:13]
A
Yeah, I mean, sometimes I pinch myself right where it's like, man, how did I get here? I never get used to it because I know where I started. But yeah, on that stage, you know, I always, I always want to show people because, like, you say you can come on somebody's like, if you watch me now, you're probably like, oh, you always had a gift or you just lucked into or what. And I love to show people, like, where I started. I love to show people, like, everything that I've been through, because that's the relatable piece that people can understand, say, oh, man, if Trent started here or if this person started here, then I could do it too. I think in social media era, we show just perfection. We show like, where we're at. And while that's inspiring, what's relatable and connective is actually showing people how you got there. And so I always honor that anywhere I'm at to talk about how I got to the place that I got to. And so I'm super excited that you were. You actually connected with that, because before that event, a little bit backstory, like, I wasn't sure because I don't share it at every event, but something told me, like, man, just share this part. Like, show people like the journey a little bit. I'm glad I did. So thank you.
- [21:11]
B
So definitely seeded something massive for me. So, first of all, and I think it also showed me the authenticity piece today. I think all my listeners and everybody that is following me on, you know, on social, will basically say that that's the biggest thing that they connect with me. And I think a lot of it was taken from you. So, first of all, Trent, thank you. And I think all my listeners will thank you for that. And this is how I think you launch rehab time. So take us there, because that's such a big movement. Can you talk a little bit about it, Trent?
- [21:43]
A
So rehab time, you know, the words came to me in 2000, like, nine, and I'm not sure exactly, like, why that popped up. I'm thinking that it was sports. It was a little bit of Rihanna at the time, like, she had that big song checking into rehab. And I think for me, rehab meant in sports, putting the strength back into a weakness. So obviously, you know, you get hurt, you go to rehab, and you got to come back, you know, and usually you come back stronger than what you were if you do it right. And so I was like, man, that's like a life thing. So rehab time for me at first meant just going to the gym. It meant getting my body right to set myself up for this football stuff. But little did I know it was bigger than that, right? It meant mind, body, and soul. We all have something we can rehab. We all have something we can put a strength, make stronger, make better. That was the journey of it, and it started there. And the genius thing that I tell people I did that, I mean, today, it's really not that genius. But I built community. I wasn't just interested having a follow. I want just people to follow me. I want to turn my followers into family. Right? I wanted people to become true supporters and not just believe in me, but believe in rehab time. And it gives me chills to see people embrace rehab time. How I embraced it. And what rehab time did for me is doing for other people. And so I started calling my community rehabbers. So every video you hear, it's like, hey, rehabbers across the world. And it seems so simple now, but it's a place where people can feel a part of. And that movement grew over, you know, obviously the last 15 years, but it really boomed. And 2015, 2016, when I was doing my own tours and going out there and giving, giving people a place to wear the merchandise and just a whole community. That's what made it special. Because I don't know whether it's 16 million, I don't know that many people. I don't know people across the world. It's the people that share the videos, it's the people that show up in the comments. It's the people that really believe in me because they've experienced my authenticity and they know how much this means to me that takes us across the world. So that's rehab time. It's me, but it's really the rehabbers that make it go.
- [23:38]
B
First of all, we'll need to drag you to one of our huge live events. It's going to be super fun. And we call them leapers. So it's the same, like they want to be part of something so much bigger than just one person on their own. And I think when you are part of something, you can create magic. We say it's not about what we make, it's what we make possible. And when you unleash that full potential, it's like, what else is available? Like, how can we create a better society, a better world? And I think you talk a lot about turning pain into power. How do you turn pain into power? Talk to us about it.
- [24:12]
A
Yeah. So if I can give you like a short version of it first. You know I have five words that I live by. I say this in the mirror every single day. Scientifically, it is proven to make you take ownership and it will change your life. And those five words is it all starts with you. And I look in the mirror every single day and tell myself, I don't say me because I'm looking at the better version of myself. I'm saying it all starts with you. That sentence is a battle cry, is a champion plea to take ownership over your life. So if you want to turn your pain into your power, you first have to acknowledge that you're in pain. Self awareness to me is one of the greatest gifts because some people are not even aware of it. So you first have to have self awareness. The second thing is that you have to make a choice. I always tell people you're a choice away from a new beginning. Like literally right now, you can make a choice to stop it. You can make a choice to start it, you can make a choice to continue it, but you're a choice away from a new beginning. You don't need a new year, you don't need a new month. All you need is A new moment. And so making that choice, and making that choice real to say, you know, I don't even know where I'm going because a lot of people stay in pain because number one, their condition, even just neurological pathways, that's a whole deep thing, chemically bonded to things. But a lot of people stay in pain because they don't know where they want to go. And I tell people I didn't know I would be here, but I knew where I didn't want to stay. So don't let the journey of how keep you in a place that you don't want to be in no more. And so you got to make that choice. Say, know what? I don't know where I'm going, but I just know I'm packing up my bags and I'm not staying here. Like I'll figure it out. And then once you make that choice, you have to find a commitment. So I like to say you're a choice away from a new beginning, you're a commitment away from a new life. So what's that commitment going to be? Right? It might be the promise that I made to my friend, right. That keeps me anchored. My son, whatever it is, you got to find a deep rooted reason on why you're going to change. I want to be the first one in my family to be a millionaire. I want to change the financial struggles we had in our family. I want to be the first, you know, tech person. I want to break odds. I want to, whatever it is like for me in football, I want to be the first one in my town, in my city, in my school to show people that you can make it, that it's possible. So whatever it is, you have that commitment. And the last piece of this is consistency. Consistency is the superpower that changes everything. I think consistency is more important than most things in this world. If you're consistent, you'll be reliable. You're reliable, you'll be trustworthy. And if you become trustworthy, you'll be a go to person and you will change your life through consistency and consistency just to end with this. Because most people say, how do I stay consistent? I'm not consistent. And I talk about this on stage all the time. Like you are consistent, like you're consistent at doing the wrong thing or the right thing. You're a consistent human being. But you'll stay more consistent when you understand how much it's costing you not to be consistent. And so what's the opportunity cost? Because if you look at anything in your life, the Things you're consistent at, even the things that you, you work, you might work a job that you hate, but you go there every single day because you know if I don't show up, it's going to cost me a paycheck. You understand what it costs you? So what does it cost you not to step into your best life? What does it cost you not to step into your dreams? What does it cost you to stay into this pain? And when you get that understanding, I believe it can change your life.
- [27:15]
B
Wow. Mic drop, Trent. I love that. Oh my God. Like you said, they're consistent about binge watching, Netflix. They're consistent about something. The question is, how do you get consistent about the right thing? And this so powerful. So, so if you look at right now, I mean you wrote multiple books. The greatest you is incredible book. Now you just released Protect yout Peace. Do you want to share a little bit for people that what are you trying to convey?
- [27:45]
A
Yeah. So with Protect yout Peace, which are words that I've been saying for so long. And peace is something you'll never experience if you keep a lot of things you can't control to control you. So this book, book is about three pillars. I will protect your peace, protect your energy, protect your mind, protect your soul. It's about not allowing the external things to control your internal self. So I walk them through man practice of knowing your worth, of internal alignment, of fulfillment, of trusting your vision. All these different practices that really help you become more soul centered. So when the storm, because I'm not the guy that's going to tell you the storm isn't going to come. I don't care where you live, Hollywood or the hood, it don't matter. Like the storm is coming. Like no matter your zip code. So I'm not the guy that's going to tell you the storm, storm isn't going to come. But I am going to tell you that your perspective towards the storm matters. So when the storm comes, you can be like, oh it's, it's the storm. Or you can say, okay, what is this storm trying to teach me? And also I do know that nothing lasts forever. So my peace is telling me this storm's going to pass. And my peace is so strong that even maybe so I can go out and dance in the rain because I understand that the storm actually brings goodness to my life too. So that book will really help you start to shift your perspective from your prison to your power.
- [28:54]
B
There's a saying, it's not the challenges that are stopping you, it's the belief about these challenges that are stopping you. Right. We see it with a lot of our audience. You know, they're constantly in this I need to prove myself, I need to prove myself mode. And in fact, if you just look inside and you are actually in a lot more peace with yourself, with your leadership, with your worth, with what you actually have to offer. Interviews sound better when you pitch yourself. You sound better when you go to your network. You sound better because you know, you know your worth. And now the only question is, is it gonna be a match? And I think there's like something so beautiful about, like you said, protecting your piece because that is such a fundamental piece of it.
- [29:34]
A
Trent, a thousand percent I love you said that. You know, I'm a big component of. If anybody would call me a coach, I always tell people I'm a self worth coach, you know, first and foremost. And knowing your worth, demanding your worth is so critical. And I teach on this so much because I know a big part of my life, I allowed outside things to tell me my worth and it put me in situations that made worthless. And so being able to have confidence in self to say, hey, this is my worth and I'm not budging on it, I think is one of the biggest standards you can have to live a phenomenal life.
- [30:03]
B
I agree. And I think also having a mirror in somebody says walk the walk is just such a fundamental thing because, you know, you can't read a jar, can't read its own label. Right. Like sometimes you need somebody external to kind of see that. So what is a challenge that you know, right now? I mean, I saw you, you know, on a Tony Robbins. You have this pod, by the way, straight up with Trent Shelton, which is incredible. And you have the books and you have the speaking and so what is a challenge that Trent, is still maybe something that you're going through right now.
- [30:36]
A
I go through a lot of challenges. I'm glad you asked this question. My biggest challenge right now was two. One. You know, I lost my mother three years ago. Oh, going on three years. And that's always going to be a challenge. That was my best friend. So that's always tough dealing with that. I have my moments where I'm good. I have my moments where feels like it's not real, you know, so that's always tough. And then just trying to balance the expectations of the external of the world, you know, that's placed upon me. And you know, I mean, being a person that's in position where you have so Many things pulling at you, so many opportunities. And you're trying to still not lose yourself in those moments and still have your peace and still focus on what matters. And finding that quote, unquote, I would say harmony in it. Balance or harmony. Yeah. It's like, man, that's always a challenge. You know, growth is. Comes with growing pain. We pray for growth, but when we get the growing pains, like, man, I don't want the growing pains, but it's a part of the process. So that's always a challenge with me, thinking about what's next and connecting certain things in my life.
- [31:31]
B
Sorry about your mom. I actually wrote an article. I remember how losing my mom changed my life. So I can relate to that. And it was the huge slap in the face, I think, for me to even kick myself further into gear, there was a little bit of a perspective there, too. And I love that you shared that. Right. Because we all have challenges all the time. You know, the beautiful thing about high achievers, and I want you, the listeners, to listen to this. The interesting things with somebody who is driven by definition, the carrot will always move, the pole will always move. And how do you balance chasing that, but also looking back, seeing how far you've come and enjoying the journey, otherwise you're always in the chase. So I think that is just such an interesting balance. Right. Because otherwise it's so easy to lose that pain. What do you think, Trent?
- [32:19]
A
You're right. I'd say I have two sides of Trent. I have the protect your peace Trent. That is very introverted. That's cool with going to the cabin and not talking to nobody. Phone on do not disturb. And then I have what I call the live legendary Trent, the athlete side. That's like, let's get it. Let's go. Boom, boom, boom. So finding that harmony between the two sometimes is a struggle. You know, I have my seasons. I think right now I'm in the season of more protect your peace with the holidays. But trying to find that because is one thing I would just share that's helped me. Cause I always used to think that. And I talk about this in the book, even when I say no, like, it's a good opportunity, but I can't do it. I used to feel guilty because I would think that I'm missing out on the opportunity. It's almost like fomo, right? I'm like missing out on something that I could have had. And so I've given myself permission and I tell myself, like, you're not missing out. You'll never Miss out on an opportunity that's truly meant for your life, unless you just, you know, just being a dumbo about it. But it's really helped me be able to say no, be able to disconnect and just trust myself to know, like, the right opportunity to come. If you need peace right now, if you need to take a week off, you need to disconnect for a month, whatever. Make sure you're taking care of you. Because there's too many people that depend on you being the best you. Then for you to kill yourself chasing something that even when you catch it, your pride is not going to be fulfilled anyway.
- [33:31]
B
There's a reason why on planes, you need to put your own oxygen mask first. Right? You can't help anybody else without that. I didn't want to move away too fast from that. Do you feel losing your mom changed you?
- [33:44]
A
Yes, it changed me. And I don't even know if I know how it changed me, you know, but it did change me, and I think it did, which you probably can relate to. I feel like there's a hole inside of me that, you know, nothing can fill. But it's a part of grief because we love hard. But also it changed me in a positive way where it made me more intentional. It made me realize that forever comes with an expiration date. You don't have forever with your kids. You don't have forever with your spouse, house. You don't have forever with your business. And it made me be more intentional with my life. It made me ask the question, like, how do I want to live? How do I want to show up in my relationships? Have I said everything I wanted to say to somebody? Because I don't want to live in regret. I want to be able to rejoice. And so when my mother passed, I rejoiced. And of course I was sad, but I know that I gave my mom everything. We were tight, so I didn't have to live in regret. And I wish I would have said this. I wish I would have did this. It was more, man, I'm glad I did this with my mom. And so she just brought more attention to my life through her passing, for sure. Sure.
- [34:37]
B
Wow, that's powerful. And I think a life with no regrets is such a powerful statement. So we always kind of end with. What would be an advice to your younger self? Like, if you go back in time to Trent earlier on, what would you say?
- [34:54]
A
I would say, keep trusting what's pure to your soul, because those around you that's trying to pull you from that have no idea what's meant for your life. And the reason I say that is because when I started this journey, right. A lot of people around me really kept me from. And of course, I gave them the permission, but they kept me from really walking into what I felt like what I was meant to do because I was so interested in opinions and so interested in feedback. And so I just realized, like, they didn't create you, so don't let them control you. And I would tell my younger self that to just trust your gut and trust what you know is pure.
- [35:29]
B
Can you elaborate that thing, Trent? Because it's so common for us to lean on, on the advice that we hear from expert from parents. Right. But if in general they're not where you want to go, they can't help you get there. They're trying to protect you or they're afraid, so they're, you know, mirroring it to you.
- [35:48]
A
Yeah. You have to realize that most people are trying to protect you. And you have to understand that is their perception that they're putting on you while they mean well. You can't allow somebody else's perception to control your life because they didn't create you. I know your parents might have birthed you, but they didn't create you. Your creator created you. And the plan that's for your life, nobody understands. And so I talk about in the book trust your vision and what most people do, they depend on vision validation. And so when they have a vision, they have an idea. Most people will go to the people closest to them to share that because it's like familiarity. And those people close to them, if they're not a visionary, they're not a dreamer, they're not somebody who really understands, like, how to make it happen. They're probably going to, I use this analogy, they're going to put on your set of lenses that's been specifically prescribed to you. They're going to look through them and say, oh my gosh, I can't see anything. Just like if I had eyeglasses that were mine and you put them on you, like, I can't see. And that's what people do. And what happens is, is is we allow them not being able to see what we saw. What we see is clear discourage us. And instead of taking our glasses back and putting them on and saying, okay, well, you know, it's not meant for you to see it. Maybe one day when I achieve it, you'll understand it. We never put our glasses back on. And most people live their whole entire life with the glasses that were meant for them. They living within their pocket and they walk around this whole life unclear. And so I would tell you like it's yours. Everybody's not going to see it. Some people are too close to you to see your grace. So just ask yourself this simple question. I'll end with this. Have they done it? So everybody told me I couldn't make it to the NFL. Guess what? They never made it. Everybody told me I couldn't be a speaker. They never were speakers. So only take advice from people who are, who have been successful at what you're trying to achieve.
- [37:20]
B
So powerful. And I want to make sure our listeners hear this because you gonna hear so many opinions for so many people figure out did they walk the walk? Have they been there? Have they been where you wanna be? And if not, that opinion and should not serve you. Trent, this is incredible. We'll obviously have all the links in the show notes but how do people find you, want you, you know, get your book, get your podcast at Trench.
- [37:47]
A
Shelton, all social media sites from Facebook to TikTok to all of them and the book you can go to trendshelton.com anywhere on Amazon. Obviously audiobook is available but trendshelton.com if you ever forget anything will have all the information on there.
- [38:00]
B
Trent. Trent, thank you so much for being on the show for this incredible authentic conversation. I knew it's going to be a joy and it's been even better. So thank you.
- [38:11]
A
Thank you my friend. I really appreciate you. I loved it.