Left to Their Own Devices Episode 9: The Worst Sex Ed Class Ever Toronto Star // Host: Ava Smithing // Nov 14, 2025

Episode Overview

In this harrowing and deeply personal episode, host Ava Smithing investigates how the internet and social media have redefined childhood and sex education for an entire generation—and not for the better. Blending interviews with experts, first-person survivor accounts, and sharp commentary, the episode explores how millions of children, often left unmonitored on powerful digital platforms, are exposed to predatory adults, pornography, and harmful misinformation about sex and relationships. Rather than a guidebook, this is a survival account—illustrating the distress and confusion today’s youth face in a world where their first sex ed class often comes from the darkest corners of the web.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Roblox: More Than a Game

Timestamps: 00:01–05:51

• Roblox is a digital world popular among children— “more than half of Americans under the age of 16 were on the game” (Ava, 00:59).
• Ava introduces Nat, who describes being lured from the benign world of Roblox into adult chatrooms via links shared by strangers.
• The subtle shift from harmless gaming to potentially exploitative social spaces:

  "I'd play with my siblings and friends...until other people started adding me. And that's when things kind of went wrong." (Nat, 02:27)

• Nat recounts how she was quickly drawn into a chat app, Antiland, at just 11. Despite clearly lying about her age (“I said my birthday was like 1955”), she gained access (03:22).

2. Premature Exposure to Sexual Content and Predation

Timestamps: 05:51–06:55

• Nat received explicit texts and requests for photos from adult men after entering an “adults only” chatroom at age 11.
• She explains the psychological need that kept her engaged:

  "All of a sudden I go on this app and then I get all this male attention that literally I've never had before...Even if it's from a stranger, like in my head. It didn't matter that it was from someone I didn't know or...that it was from someone that was 30 years old. Like it was still male attention." (Nat, 04:14)

• Nat admits to sending images to nearly anyone who asked because of the validation it brought (05:19).
• The experience catalyzed long-lasting insecurity, confusion, and trauma.

3. Normalization of Pornography in Childhood

Timestamps: 06:55–15:44

• Nat’s story is not unique—exposure to porn at an early age has become “normal” for contemporary kids.

  "By the age of 11, one in four young people will have consumed pornography. And this pornography is often violent pornography." (Caitlin Regehr, 06:40)

• Social media algorithms, bots, and direct messaging (“porn push”) are main vectors for unsolicited exposure to porn:

  "[Most] kids...articulate that the first time they saw pornography was not through them actively searching for it...but [having] pornography...pushed to them." (Caitlin Regehr, 09:54)

• Parent and professor Sarah Flicker, who leaves condoms in the family bathroom, isn’t anti-porn—she’s anti-violent, non-consensual, misogynist porn, which is overwhelmingly the norm online.

  "A content analysis of Pornhub...found that one in eight titles showcase sexual violence...verbal aggression in about 50% of scenes...physical aggression in 88%." (Sarah Flicker, 13:54)

• The research environment is ethically constrained, but the correlation with youth trends is alarming:

  "65% of [sexually active college-aged] women report experiences of choking, with 25%...first choked between ages 12–17." (Sarah Flicker, 14:50) “Consumption [of violent porn]...is informing the way they are having sex.” (Caitlin Regehr, 15:49)

4. Pornography and Adolescent Sexual Development

Timestamps: 15:44–18:58

• Despite greater exposure, youth are now having sex later and less frequently—a reversal from “sex panics” of the past.

  “They feel like their body doesn't look like a pornographic body...as these young people are getting more sexualized and getting more exposed to pornography, they're actually engaging less with each other in dating and in sexual experimentation.” (Susie Dunn, 16:23)

• Many teens seek escape into screens primarily because of the challenge and vulnerability of real-life relationships.

  “It made me so withdrawn from, like, literally everyone....something like, I definitely carry with me." (Nat, 17:49)

5. How Tech-Fueled Addiction Steals Adolescence

Timestamps: 18:58–27:36

• Ava visits Harrison, a 22-year-old who survived digital dependency and predatory grooming. His methodical “phone parenting” routines:

  “My phone wakes up after me, goes to sleep before me. I parent my phone. I put it to bed...Just like you would with your child.” (Harrison, 20:44)

• Harrison’s journey began with innocent gaming but escalated to emotionally dependent messaging with a stranger (“Adam”) who preyed on his vulnerabilities.

  “All the stranger danger rules were out the window. Cause he's not a stranger anymore....He feels like family.” (Harrison, 22:15)

• Adam manipulated Harrison’s sexuality, pressured him to consume porn “multiple times a day,” and fostered profound confusion and shame.

  “I thought there was something wrong with me...So I began consuming pornography to fix my broken or seemingly non-existent sense of sexuality.” (Harrison, 24:41)

• Both Harrison and Nat describe persistent addiction, emotional withdrawal, and identity confusion stemming from their experiences.

6. Expert Insights: Lasting Harm and Failed Interventions

Timestamps: 27:36–31:54

• Susie Dunn and other experts identify a chilling pattern: predators provide targeted validation and attachment, which later impairs healthy relationships.

  “They finally get this validation...and then it's a poisonous thing. So then...it also stops them...from being able to engage in really normal and healthy...relationships.” (Susie Dunn, 27:10)

• Legislative attempts (e.g., age verification for porn) are inconsistent and easily circumvented by savvy teens (VPNs), with concern over possible censorship of legit sexual health info.
• Caitlin Regehr advocates for boundaries anyway:

  “Rules matter....structures [help] our society.” (Caitlin Regehr, 29:57)

7. The Need for Honest Conversation

Timestamps: 31:54–32:37

• All experts agree: silence is disastrous.

  “If we don't talk about it...then Pornhub gets to be the only source of information and education....And that is an unmitigated disaster.” (Sarah Flicker, 31:54)

• Caitlin Regehr proposes a “Marvel analogy”—clearly treating porn as exaggerated performance, not a template for real relationships.
• Trust, open communication, and non-judgmental, informed adults are the best protection for kids.

8. Surviving the Digital Aftermath

Timestamps: 32:37–34:52

• Harrison shares a deeply personal turning point: on the brink of suicide at age 14, a dream gave him reason to live and begin anew.

  “I had planned this suicide for multiple weeks....I had a vision and a dream that changed my life. I mean, absolutely changed my life.” (Harrison, 34:45)

• He now seeks to reclaim “the beauty of humanity that we are missing out on, that technology is robbing us of” (Harrison, 34:29) by fostering healthier digital habits, not just for himself, but his whole generation.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It didn’t matter that it was from someone I didn’t know or that it was from someone that was 30 years old. Like, it was still male attention.”
  – Nat (04:14)
• “By the age of 11, one in four young people will have consumed pornography. And this pornography is often violent pornography.”
  – Caitlin Regehr (06:40)
• “If we don’t talk about it in schools and we don’t talk about it at home, then Pornhub gets to be the only source of information and education that these kids have. And that is an unmitigated disaster.”
  – Sarah Flicker (31:54)
• “My phone wakes up after me, goes to sleep before me. I parent my phone.”
  – Harrison Haynes (20:44)
• “I thought that there was something wrong with me...So I began consuming pornography to fix my broken or seemingly non-existent sense of sexuality.”
  – Harrison Haynes (24:41)
• “Rules are how we kind of structure our society.”
  – Caitlin Regehr (29:57)
• “All the research...the best thing that you can do for kids is make sure that they have trusting, loving relationships with non-judgmental people who have their back.”
  – Susie Dunn (31:43)

Essential Timestamps

• 00:01–05:51: Nat’s journey from Roblox to exploitative chatrooms
• 06:31–09:08: Early exposure to porn and “porn push”
• 13:44–15:44: Violent and misogynist tropes in mainstream porn; research barriers
• 20:44–24:41: Harrison’s “phone parenting” and grooming experience
• 27:10: The ripple effects of digital sexual exploitation
• 29:57–31:54: Debating legislation and the absolute necessity of having open conversations
• 34:13–34:52: Harrison’s survival and hope for the next generation

Conclusion

This episode is a raw, urgent portrait of a generation forced to navigate sexuality online, mostly alone. It reveals how Big Tech inadvertently (or purposely) thrusts kids into danger and confusion, how silence or denial paves the way for Predators and myths, and how only real, uncomfortable conversations—paired with informed, supportive adults—offer a way out of this digital labyrinth. The message is clear: if we don’t reclaim sex ed for our children, the internet surely will.