[Author's note: this post is the narrative version that explains my journey with OCD and how I treated it. The short version provides quick, actionable advice for treating OCD.]

The following is the most painful experience I've ever had.

Four years ago in the parking lot of my rock climbing gym…

…my heart was pumping out of my chest, I was sweating profusely, and an overwhelming sense of panic and impending doom had a vice grip on my soul. A painful death was surely imminent. I felt like I was defusing a bomb that was on the verge of exploding.

In reality, I was standing outside of my car after locking it with only one *beep* of my key fob, instead of my normal 5-6 *beeps* I usually do.

The reason I undertook this (basically suicidal) task was because it was getting annoying how many more *beeps* it was taking for my car to feel locked. It used to be only 2-3 *beeps* a few years ago. Now it was 5-6. In a few more years, it might take as many as 10-20 *beeps*.

One time on a hike with friends, a sense of panic overcame me. [...]

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Outline:

(00:24) The following is the most painful experience Ive ever had.

(07:34) OCD

(12:28) Deconstructing OCD into its two parts

(12:49) (1) Severe Anxiety

(15:53) (2) Disordered Thoughts

(18:06) My dating life

(23:34) So what caused me to finally get help with my OCD?

(26:22) Solutions

(28:39) Panic Meditation

(41:31) Three mini-examples of my improvement

(41:35) A) Panic at the grocery store (and no, sadly, not Panic! At The Disco)

(42:30) B) Moral OCD at the gym

(43:49) C) Disordered thoughts while on a date

(50:35) Where Im at today

(58:41) Further resources

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First published:
April 18th, 2026

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/fgDqnwQj3AP9mKRRG/having-ocd-is-like-living-in-north-korea-here-s-how-i

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

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Images from the article:

Diagram showing the cycle of obsessive-compulsive disorder with underlying dread.

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