I am the second most spoiler-averse person I know. (Maybe tied for 2nd with a couple other people?).

I once was considering going to an immersive experience, and someone told me the company that ran the experience, and this was enough for me to derive an important twist that'd happen to me in the first few minutes, and I was like "augh that was a spoiler!!!" and they were like "!??".

I then went to the experience, and indeed, it was a lot worse than it would have been if I had gotten to be delighted by the opening twist.

I say this all to say, I think Toy Story 5 would be the kind of movie that, if it were good, it would be worth watching unspoiled. I am worried it will not be good, but, I don't know.

But, also, I've been spoiled already, and meanwhile it's pretty interesting to think about in advance.

So, decide whether you're the sorta person who should stop reading after this opening section.

Also, if you have not seen Toy Story 3, Toy Story 3 is particularly worth watching unspoiled.

The rest of the essay will get escalatingly spoilery [...]

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Outline:

(06:51) Requirements of a Toy Story Movie

(07:56) Ending A: Put it away

(08:28) Ending B: Parents take it away

(08:46) Ending C: Butlerian Jihad

(09:05) Ending D: Harmony and Balance

(10:19) Ending E: Accepting the End

(12:13) Ending F: Hard Science-Fantasy?

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First published:
March 21st, 2026

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/ra289RT2LJ9GfdpDQ/pre-review-of-toy-story-5

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.