← Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari
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- [00:01]
A
The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is, let's be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality tv, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome, welcome. I hope everyone is doing well on this fine Tuesday. I am on a bit of a two day hangover. I went out with the boys to the gay club here in Nashville. It's called Play. We went out Saturday night and we were at the gay club until 1am dancing our asses off. It was so much fun. I've only ever been to play one other time, like maybe 10 years ago. And the vibes, the gays know what's up. Everyone was dancing, having a good time. No one was on their phone. Not one person. Everyone was so friendly and sweet. If you went up and talked to someone, they weren't like, ew, why are you talking to me? Everyone was just like, oh. Everyone was just having so much fun. It was, it was the best. We really had a good time. So that was fun, but I'm paying for it. I'm such a baby that now I get, you know, I easily get these two day hangovers. But okay, very exciting because I told you guys on Instagram, we've set up a listener voicemail so you guys can call in now and you can leave your questions on a voicemail. This was so much fun for me to be able to listen to your voices and I just have to say, you guys are awesome. It was so fun, so fun to hear your voices. So I'm gonna play them on the podcast. We're gonna do listener questions today. There were so many good ones, you guys. Really, I'm impressed with all of your questions and just how awesome everybody seems. So this is in no particular order, I have no idea. So here we go. Ready? I've also, you guys, I've been sick for like two and a half weeks or something crazy. I got really sick right after New Year's, actually over my birthday too. And it's taking me forever to like really kick this cold and that cough. It's. I don't, I don't know what the hell is going on. But anyways, it's really annoying. Okay, here we go.
- [02:24]
B
Hi, Kristen, Liana here from Cape Town, South Africa. If there's one thing you could have changed in your life, what would that be? Okay, thanks.
- [02:38]
A
Have a lovely day. Wow. Okay. I love this question. It's very cliche, but I wouldn't Change anything. Because everything that I've been through in my life has gotten me where I am today, and it's made me who I am. And that's not to say there haven't been many moments in my life that have been really hard. That in the moment, I wish I could change it. But when I look back at my life, I know that those really hard moments have actually been turning points for me, whether it be, you know, your. Your whole world crumbling and falling apart so that then it can actually, you can rebuild it and it will be better or. There was a lesson for me in something. They're just. I feel like there's always been takeaway or even, like, I look at my life. So when I was living in Chicago in middle school, I was getting into a lot of trouble, and that was a part of the reason why I moved to California. And, like, that in itself was hard. You know, moving to California after I had my group of friends and my boyfriend and, like, my life felt very much like it was in Chicago. That was scary to have to move and be the new girl again. And thank God I moved to California. If I didn't move to California, my life would obviously look very, very different. Moving to California, I got on tv and it completely changed the course of my career, of my life, but my career, but really my life. And so, like, I look at some of those bigger moments in my life, or even I look at. A big decision for me was going back to the Hills, because at the time, I had been pretty vocal about not wanting to do reality tv, how I wanted to be taken seriously as an actress. I was trying really hard to stay out of the tabloid world, but, like, there's only so much you can do. I really kind of had no control over that. But I. I didn't want to be seen in that light anymore. Like, I really wanted people to take me seriously. And so when I got the offer to do the Hills, that was a really tough decision for me because I knew going back to the Hills, you know, I was like, I'm either taking a right turn or a left turn, and there's no going back. If I take this right turn and do the Hills, I'm never going to be able to go back to the left. But there are all these other opportunities with the right turn. So it just. That was tough. Obviously, a divorce was a huge, huge, really tough decision. You know, I mean, there's just. There's been these pivotal moments in my life, but I wouldn't change any of them. I Wouldn't. It's made me who I am. So. So I don't think anyone should regret anything. Even the fuckups, even the dumb stuff that we've done. And listen, I've got my fair share of dumb stuff that I've done. I just. I don't regret it because also, not only does it shape who you are as a human, but what's the point of regretting something? Because there's absolutely nothing you can do. Let's say you really messed up, you did something really shitty. Let's just even say you hurt a friend really badly. Of course you can apologize and you can feel bad, but that's. There's nothing you can do. Like the mistakes that we've made, okay, we made them. Let's learn from it and move on. Because otherwise you're just torturing yourself and you're just living in this negativity. And there. What does that do for you? It doesn't do anything. It's not changing the outcome. So take what you can from it and move on. That's my philosophy on that stuff. But I do think people love to just torture themselves for some reason. I'm so curious to know more about.
- [05:57]
B
Your perspectives on love. What would you say is the difference between having love for someone, being in love, and being infatuated? I read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and he describes love as universal. We can feel it for everyone.
- [06:15]
A
So this got me thinking.
- [06:18]
B
It may sound kind of hippie, but if we are in that elevated soul state where we feel unconditional love for everyone, then what's the difference between real romantic love and infatuation?
- [06:33]
A
Wow, Alessandra. My kind of girl. I love it. So there's a few things here, but I think when you can get to that place of having love for everyone and everything in life, that's such a beautiful place to be. And I feel like that's what we should probably all strive for. I know that I strive for that. Obviously, I'm human. And sometimes it's hard to have love for certain people in your life. But again, it kind of goes with what I was just saying. At the end of the day, even the people that we can't stand, there's takeaway there for us. And so I think when you even get to a place of really looking at everything in your life as a lesson, you do end up then having more empathy for everybody and. And more love for everybody in return, because people are not there just to piss you off. Right? Like, I don't think that's people's goal. I think really what life is doing is if someone is pissing you off, it's because they're trying to shine a light on what you need to work on. I mean, hence, you know, we always talk about triggers. Triggers are there to show you what you need to work on. So anyways, but I think, okay, but her question really is, what's the difference between infatuation and romantic love? And so I have gotten confused by infatuation far too many times. I think really what happens is, I think they say infatuation is anywhere from three to six months. And then, you know, so I have taken this stance in the last few years that I am not allowed to say I love you to make long term plans with anyone, introduce them to my kids. Like nothing for the first six months. Because I am someone who gets very excited when I like someone because it is so rare that I am attracted to someone. So when I do, I am infatuated by it. And I'm like, I'm like fully consumed by it. I've said I love you to people I probably shouldn't have. I've made long term plans, I've done all of the things because I've been confused in the beginning between infatuation and love. I'd say I've actually only been in love probably three, maybe four times. That would be my ex husband, my boyfriend Nick, when I was like 19, 20. Steven, high school boyfriend. And you could maybe argue Johnny, my 8th grade boyfriend, my first, you know, like really serious boyfriend. I don't know if you can be in love in eighth grade, but if you can, then I definitely was. I think you can also have love for like if you look at your friends, for example, like I love, absolutely love all of my friends, but I don't want to make out with them. Right? Like I think that's the difference between just loving someone and being in love with someone is at least for me, I think the difference is just that attraction piece. I can love so many people and I do love so many people. I love so many men. Like I think that's the difference is I love men and I always have. And I enjoy men's company. I like their, no bullshit, like, no drama. Like, I like how simple they are. And like I've got a lot of guy friends that I love, but I don't want to make out with them. I don't want to sleep with them. And I think, I think that's the difference between those two. And I Think infatuation is such a real thing that I think you just. It's time will tell. And I don't know really how to distinguish between the two, because everyone that I ended up falling in love with, I also was infatuated with in the beginning. So I really just think it's just time. Time will tell. Maybe we all sort of take a. A pledge that we will not say I love you for the first six months. Because, you know, I mean, I have. And I feel bad. When I look back at my history of dating. I've said I love you to two people in the last six years that I probably shouldn't have. But I also felt it. Like, I. I meant it because I felt it. But now when I look back at it, I'm like, no, I was infatuated. Like, it's. To me now, it's pretty obvious. But at the time, I could not. I thought I was in love. Like, I could not distinguish between the two.
- [10:59]
B
Okay, so my question is, what advice would you give to break a cycle? So when you're in a relationship with someone and it's really hard to move on or move past it, and the situation that I'm in, it's almost like a cycle where we, you know, we stop talking for a few months, but then it's like we're magnets and we keep coming back to each other. So what would you say to somebody on how to kind of move past somebody and not have a karmic tie to them? How do you. How would you break that?
- [11:35]
A
Oh, my God. Why is that the hardest thing on the planet? Those toxic bonds. I've been here, and it's. You have to just do it. Like, you have to commit. You have to say, I am so done with this person because I understand what this is. This is a toxic cycle that now I'm committing to breaking. I've been there. I've actually. I changed someone's name on my phone to do not answer. I mean, like. And I put up a horrible picture of him. Like, I've done all the things, and it. Sometimes those still don't work. But you have to finally choose yourself over this person. And I would take it a step farther, and I would ask you, why are you allowing this toxic cycle and this person to consistently come back into your life?
- [12:21]
B
Why are you.
- [12:22]
A
When I've been in that situation, it's because I didn't really want to be alone. And why don't we ever want to be alone? It's because we're avoiding something. So this was like, this is a few years ago for me when I was still working through my divorce and like trying to find my self love and everything. And that's really what it is. Because when you really love yourself and you value yourself and you know you're not going to put up with this kind of behavior is basically in a nutshell, what it is. Like the shit that I put up with years ago, I would never put up with today, today. And so you have to choose yourself over this toxic cycle and you have to just commit. And so whatever that has to be, whether it's changing their name in your phone, if it's blocking them, if it's like, maybe you make a bet with yourself, like, okay, if you can finally go three months without talking to this person, you know, we get to get, I don't know, like a new purse or whatever it is. But because also it's, it's so hard in the very beginning to break that cycle. Because when you're in this mode of texting someone, calling someone, like, it just becomes second nature. It's habit for us. So I actually think that's the hard part is breaking the habit, breaking the routine. But once you can actually get out of that and break it, it's much easier then because you know when it's routine to text someone or call them and check in with them, that your mind is just always naturally thinking about them. I don't think it's that long to break a routine. I would say a couple weeks. And you'll, you'll get out of that habit. It's, we gotta just break the habit. And then it becomes so much easier. I'd say the first two weeks are the hardest and you just have to commit to yourself. And maybe every time you get the urge to text him, you text a friend and I think maybe you bring a friend in on this who can be there with you to help break it and be like, listen, anytime I have the urge to call him or text him, I'm gonna call and text you. And then, you know, I think just having a support system so you're not alone during this is really helpful. And just knowing that you deserve so much better than that, I think is the biggest piece to that puzzle. Like we all deserve more than a toxic cycle. We just do foreign. Let's talk about Vivrel. If you don't know what Vivrel is yet, it's a members only club where you can borrow designer bags, jewelry, watches, you can even borrow diamonds. The best part and Honestly, what hooked me is there are no return dates. You can keep a piece as long as you want or you can swap monthly. And if you're ready for something new and if you fall in love with something, you can buy it for less than anywhere else. This is so great. 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- [18:29]
B
Kristen, I love your podcast. This is Maggie from Cleveland, Ohio. And my question to you is, you're raising three children. How is it going with them in all different grade levels of middle school and daughter and tween ages? How is it? Do you handle girl drama, kid drama, Children drama? I have four kids here. 12. Well, no, no. 13, 14, 21, and 23. And how do you do it? Just give us some parenting tips. We'd love to hear it. Like, as far as, like, you know, is there any spats and especially sports, too? That can be tough. All right. I love it. Can't wait to hear from you. Thanks.
- [19:05]
A
Oh, my God. Yeah, it's. The parenting stuff is full on. I mean, that's my whole life right now. So I have found. And my boys are older. You know, my boys are 13 and 11 and Sailor is 10. But even from when Camden was, like, in third grade, I have actually found that the boys have more drama than the girls, which I was not expecting, but it's been very true for us. So actually not as it's when they were more like third, fourth grade, maybe a little bit of fifth. But actually, since my boys have been in middle school, there hasn't been a lot of friend drama, actually. And sailors yet to deal with. With real friend drama yet, which is good. I think we've dodged. We've dodged a lot of the friend drama. However, when Camden was dealing with a lot of the friend drama, I noticed that a lot of the parents were trying to get in the middle of it, you know, fight their kids fight. And I've always taken the stance that kids are going to Be kids. Kids have to figure it out. Unless something serious is going on or someone is going to get hurt or whatever, I'm actually not going to step in. And I don't agree that parents should be involved in the kid drama, because at the end of the day, this is kids learning and growing, and this is what's going to happen. And I remember a couple years saying this is the beginning of the ebbs and flows of friendships until they graduate high school. Like, it just is what it is. One minute they're going to be friends, and the next minute they're not. It just is what it is. That's part of growing up. And I do not agree with parents bailing their kids out of every situation, whether it's friend, drama, spirit, sports stuff. We've. We have dealt with some sports stuff, but I just think at the end of the day, we have to let our kids fall on their asses. That's the only way they're going to learn how to pick themselves up. And my kids fight, you know, and it's hard. Our dynamic at our house is the boys are pretty hard on Sailor. I will say it's typically the boys ganging up on Sailor, but Sailor's also my toughest kid and she can handle it. And I mean, most of the time she's the one starting it, actually. And I used to break them up and get in the middle. And honestly, I've also kind of gotten to the point where I'm like, if you are gonna, like, figure it out, like, okay, hash it out a little bit. And I have found when I step away and I don't get in the middle of my kids bullshit all the time, it works itself out so much quicker than when I'm like, you guys, stop, like, pulling each, like, it's just fine. You guys want to talk shit to each other, then beat the hell out of each other. Figure it out. Like, I don't know what to tell you. They don't actually beat the hell out of each other, but they're. I mean, they do sometimes get a little physical, but I have noticed, I'm telling you, when you don't get in the middle of it and you kind of let them work out their own shit, it resolves much, much quicker. I don't know, the sports stuff is. And I want to be careful what I say because obviously this is a public podcast and I see these people all the time at school, you know, and games and stuff, so I have to tread lightly. But what I have told my boys and Sailor just started volleyball. She used to ride horses, but now she is playing volleyball. This is her first team sport, which is very exciting. But I. The reason I say my boys is because I haven't had to have conversations with Sailor yet about this kind of stuff. But my boys, when something happens, and let's say maybe they're not playing as much or there's something. Some competitiveness right on the team, my advice to my boys is always is this. Sometimes it's good to have a little fire, because it's good to have something to work towards. And the fire is good sometimes because it will make you play harder, it will make you try harder. And at the end of the day, all you can do is focus on yourself. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Only compare yourself to yourself. Are you better than you were yesterday? All you can do is go out there and do your best. That's it. You can only control what you can control. And also, you know, they're middle school. A lot of this stuff is gonna figure itself out as they get older, you know, and so just to keep. Keep your eyes on the prize. That. And also, one bad game is not the end of the world, you know? Yeah. And I think. I also think if we're just talking about kids in a much broader scenario is I'm really proud of the fact that my kids trust me and they really tell me everything. Sometimes it's like too much, you know, but they tell me everything. And I think the biggest thing, the biggest piece of that is I really listen to them, and I've never shamed them. I've never made them feel bad for something. I always try to help them find the lesson in something and the growth that could potentially happen. Like, I'm always big picture, and honesty has always been a huge thing for me. I'm always trying to teach honesty, where if you're honest with me about something, you will not get in trouble. But if you lie to me, then there are gonna be consequences. And I've had. I have had my boys come to me and be honest with me about stuff. And I am like, thank you. Because as they get older, especially, I want them to be comfortable to come to me if they get themselves in a situation that could potentially be harmful. You know, as they start getting into high school and whatnot, I want them to be comfortable to call me. I want them to be with their friends and be like, you know what? We can call my mom. And I didn't have that. You know, I. I mean, I don't know what my relationship with my mom would have been had I stayed living with her throughout high school. I mean, my mom is my best friend today, but it. We didn't have that great of a relationship growing up. But my mom actually is the type of mom where I feel like I could have probably had that relationship with her, but I never had that with my dad. I was scared shitless of my dad. And so I just want to be a safe place for them. I want. I just do. I just do. And that's not to say that there aren't consequences. I mean, ask Sailor. Sailor's been grounded, like, half of her life. But I just, at the end of the day, I want them to always know that I love and support them and that they can always come to me.
- [25:38]
B
Kristen. Kristen, you absolute legend. My name is Jess. I'm from Sydney, Australia, and was absolutely obsessed with Laguna beach and the hills growing up. I think actually Sydney tried to make their own kind of Laguna beach at one point. Obsessed. But my question to you is I'm around the same age. I'm as you, maybe a little bit older, but I am approaching 40 this year. And I just wanted to know your thoughts on approaching the big 4o as well and how you are feeling about that. Are you nervous? Are you scared? Are you excited? Have you got any tips on how to feel more excited about it? But yeah, also just wanted to say I love you so much.
- [26:24]
A
Bye. I mean, do you die? I. I love. I love that I can hear you guys voices now. Yeah, I'll be 40 in less than a year. I mean, I just turned 39, but you know what I'm saying? And I'm not weird about it. I actually, I feel really good about it. I like getting older. I really do. Because of the knowledge that I have, the way that I feel in my own body, the way I move about life, how I am with boundaries. And I've really set my life up to work for me, you know, And I've gotten my life to a really great place. I mean, of course, there are little things where I notice, you know, I'm getting. I'm getting older, right? I'm not 25 anymore. And even, like, I sleep like an animal, first of all, like, my face is smushed. Like, I'm, like, curled up. It's ridiculous. And so I wake up and I'm like, jesus Christ. But like, I just recently have noticed, like, on my chest, in between my boobs, like, some a little, like, wrinkles a little bit. And I'm like, what the hell is that? And I even have that chest pillow. I don't know if you guys have seen this. I think. Where did I see this? Oh, no. A friend told me about this. It's like this little pillow that you, like, strap on and it's like this little pillow that goes in between your boobs. I guess the logic is it's supposed to keep your boobs from smushing together, which creates those wrinkles. And then I even have this big, thick eye mask that's supposed to help with the wrinkles. Cause it holds everything in place. I have all the things I've done, the face tape, you name it. But the problem is I'm such an animal when I sleep that in the middle of the night I'll just start ripping this shit off. So it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. So there's, of course there's like little things like that. But I've gotten to a place where I am fully okay with being my age and aging. And obviously I know it's just gonna progressively get worse. The aging piece. But to me, like every line on my face or my chest or even I've like noticed it in the creases of my elbows. I'm like, what the. But it just means we have more wisdom and experience. Experience. We've got more stories. I like who I am today at age 39, way, way more than when I was 20, 25, even 30. I. And I just feel like it's gonna continue. And I think, yeah, that's, that's just what I think. I don't think that we should ever be nervous or worried about aging. You know, I think at the end of the day, if we are aging, we're lucky. Like, we're lucky to still be here and, and just to have more experience under our belts, I think is kind of how I look at it. I think it's a good thing to age.
- [29:16]
B
Hey, Kristen, I know this is totally not your current stage of life, but you have been through it. And my question is, as a mom of two, under two with a husband that has a very demanding work schedule, I have my kids by myself every other weekend. Like Friday through Sunday, he works all day and then does overnight call. And on those days we kind of have some inevitable screen time. And I just feel like it keeps getting more and more every time I have them all by myself because I just need something to help my 2 year old while I'm nursing the baby and those types of things. And I can tell that it does make her attitude worse and more cranky and she gets more demanding, but also buys me time to, like, just have undivided attention to do dinner or nurse the baby or pick up a few things. And I know you had your kids a lot on your own, so what would you do if you were in my shoes? Or what did you do when you were in your shoes? Sometimes when I am really strict with the screen time, then I just find myself totally depleted. And before I had the second baby, we did zero screen time. But now that I have two kids, I just am finding it as a tool that I have to lean on sometimes. Thanks. Let me know what you think.
- [30:38]
A
Oh, yeah. I relate to this so much. I mean, at the end of the day, the first few years are hard. They're just hard. No one ever said being a mom was easy. It's really hard. And in a lot of ways, you. You're in survival mode. And I think you have to just know you are in this season of life. It's going to be hard. It's going to be hard, and you are going to be depleted. You're going to be exhausted. I was exhausted for years. For years. That's just what happens as a mom. I do remember when I had Jackson giving Camden an iPad when I had to nurse him. And that was it, though. Then I would take it away. And the only other time my kids got an iPad was when we would be on an airplane. And then it was a really special thing, and they were locked in because they never got it. That would be my advice with anyone who has little kids, is make it a very special thing. Or obviously, yeah, like when you're nursing, but otherwise, take it away. And listen, I get it. I get that you want as much time as you can have, but. But you just can't. Your job as a mom right now is to be there and be present. I mean, my days were spent sitting on the playroom floor, exhausted, exhausted. And you're just. That's what you're doing. You're in survival mode. I was alone with my kids every weekend during the football season. And even when Sailor came along and I had three, I think I had three under three or three under four or whatever. But no, Camden was three. When I had Sailor, I on the weekends would be like, okay, we just have. We need one activity to do. Like, we just have to get out of the house. And most of the times, it was just going to Target, Target or Whole Foods. Like, I just needed something to do. I also think Finding your mom friends at this stage in life is crucial. Other women who are in the same boat, who have young kids, because getting all the kids together and having an adult conversation with another woman who also understands what you're going through saved my life. Saved my life. And how do you meet those moms? You do Mommy and Me classes, you go to the park, you go to the jump places, or. I mean, I don't even remember now. When my kids were little, I'm, I met two of my, my best friends at a Mommy and Me class with Jackson when he was like 10 months old. They are still my friends, Kim and Kelly, they live in Chicago. They just came to visit me. Like, it can happen. You can meet lifelong friends, actually. And so finding your support system I think is really important. And also you just have to know you're going to be tired, you're going to be exhausted. This is a phase. Once your kids are in school, you guys, you get your life back. When I dropped Sailor off at kindergarten, I was like, holy shit, I did it. I did it. You get your life back. You have full days. I dropped my kids off today at. We leave our house at 7:30. I get home like 8, 8, 5. And then my kids don't come home until 3:30. Like it's, I have a whole day, A whole day, five days a week. You know, you get your life back. So just know right now it's really fudgeing hard. And here's the other thing I'm going to say to you. I've had moments where I'm like, fudge. Being a single mom, this is so hard. I've, I've had those moments. And when I feel like that what I do is then I say no. You know what though? I have this incredible opportunity to be this badass mom who is actually doing it all. So it's really your perspective on all of it. And I will also tell you, I look back on when my kids were little and I did do a lot of it on my own. And I had a nanny. I like 1000%. When I was in Chicago, I had a nanny four days a week. And that saved my life, quite honestly. But I was also alone with my kids a lot. And I've never regretted that. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're never gonna look back and regret that you made your kids the priority. And yeah, you were tired and yeah, it was really hard. And yeah, there were days that you wanted to just cry and give up and there were days that you weren't the best parent. And maybe you snapped at your kids, you know, a few times, but ultimately, you're gonna be really proud of yourself and you're gonna be really thankful that you did that, and your kids are gonna be thankful, too. And so it's so hard in the midst of all of that to realize that this is a phase. And I swear to God, I. I wouldn't go back to that phase. However, I would love to have just a day, a day with my kids at that size, to just snuggle them, because I promise you, your kids are going to become 13 and you're going to be like, where did my baby go? And it happens so fast. And so just if you can put everything else on hold for a minute, you don't have to make an elaborate meal every night. You just don't. You're in a phase. If you pick up food once in a while or get Uber Eats or whatever, that's okay. That is okay. And I'm telling you, it's going to come back around and you're going to get your life back, and you're going to have time to make dinner every night, and you're just not going to regret being there for your kids every day. Hey, Kristen, first off, love you so much.
- [36:06]
B
You are the.
- [36:07]
A
The greatest.
- [36:07]
B
And I love listening to your podcast. After following you for many, many years, I am currently going through a devastating breakup with my boyfriend of eight years. I am 35, and now I need to move out, find a new job, probably move states and just completely restart my life from the ground up. And just knowing all the wisdom you have, having been through a lot yourself, wondering anything that you can impart for me of just how to do that, how to restart, and how to get.
- [36:43]
A
Through these coming months, because I know.
- [36:46]
B
Something better will be on the other side. But that's really hard to feel now. So anything that you can help with would be so great. Thank you.
- [36:54]
A
Oh, yeah. I mean, well, you know, she just said it. It's really hard in the middle of a breakup to know that it's all gonna work out and it's all for the best. There is no worse pain than going through a breakup. No worse pain. I did a whole episode about going through a breakup whenever I broke up with Mark that I don't even. That was a year and a half ago, so you'd have to find it. Couldn't even tell you what it's titled. I know Breakup is probably in the title if you want to go find that, but I think Again, first of all, time heals all. It's so true. Anytime you've gone through a breakup, when you're out of it, you look back and you're like, wow. You know, when you finally get to the other side, it seems like you'll never get to the other side. But then finally one day you wake up and you realize you are on the other side and you're totally fine. And so you're not going to feel like this forever. I think it's really important to just keep reminding yourself of that. You just have to get through this. And having to change your life, move cities, the whole thing, I think you can look at it more as a really exciting, awesome opportunity, because whatever is on the other side is going to be so beautiful. There's a reason why you're going through this. And I think when your life feels like it's falling apart, that's when the beauty happens, and that's when you rebuild to make it better. And I know that having gone through a divorce. Divorce was the scariest thing I've ever done, Quite honestly, the scariest thing I've ever done, the hardest thing I've ever done. And. And it didn't happen overnight. Healing is not linear, by the way. It can be a long process of finally closing that door and. And moving on from that chapter of your life, Especially eight years is a substantial amount of time. But you take what you can, what you can need to learn from it. And I also think it's really important during a breakup not to try to push your feelings down. I think it's really important to feel all of it, to feel all of it sit in the pain, because that's where the. The growth is. And know that there's a whole new life waiting for you. And when you can get to the other side, it's going to be really beautiful. And you are. You're. No matter what you're going through, you're always going to look back and go, now. At some point, you will say, now I understand why I went through that. I promise you, of everything I've gone through in my life in the moment, it's not always clear of why you're going through the thing you're going through, but then you always finally get to a place where it all makes sense. And it will. It will make sense. All right, guys, I want to talk to you about something really important, and that is adt. We all have those nightmare scenario moments that make your heart race when you're lying in bed and realize you didn't lock the front door. Or even worse, you get home to find that someone's broken a window. ADT understands how unsettling it is to feel unsafe at home or unprepared for an emergency. That's why they're here for the moments when every second counts. With customizable security systems that keep watch 247 with the most company operated monitoring centers in the industry. With technology that enables first responders to send help even faster. And because they understand how important your space is to you, their ADT plus app allows you to check in on your home from virtually anywhere. ADT helps make sure your home is your haven. Not another thing to worry about. Visit ADT.com or call 1-800-ADT ASAP. When every second counts, count on ADT. All right, guys, let's talk about Bon Charge. Bon Charge is a holistic wellness brand with a huge range of evidence based products to optimize your life in every way. You guys already know, but my favorite Bon Charge product is their red light face mask mask. It's so easy to use just 10 to 20 minutes each day. You can do it while you're watching tv, while you're folding laundry. I mean, you could have it on when you're making dinner. It has both near infrared and red light, so it boosts collagen and elastin production. It's super lightweight on the face and it doesn't get hot. One thing I also love so much about this particular face mask is there is zero EMF radiation. You guys know I care a lot about that. And they've removed the blue and green light from their red light light face mask. Other brands keep these light frequencies in their masks, which can disrupt your sleep and circadian clocks. So if you haven't checked them out yet, you're gonna want to. So go to boncharge.com honest and use coupon code honest to save 15%. That's B O N C-H-A-R-G-E.com honest and use coupon code Honest to save 15%. All right, I want to talk to you guys about Cook Unity. I'm all about comfort food right now. In the winter, it's been freezing here in Tennessee, but my life has been crazy. And getting a good dinner on the table has definitely been a challenge because I haven't had that kind of time. That's why I've been leaning on Cook Unity. And what I love so much about them is they have new celebrity chefs that are always joining, like New York City restaurateur Marcus Samuelson or Michelin star Rick Bayless. They have so many great ones. I'm sure a ton of them. You guys will know, so it makes it really fun to pick their recipes. I just had barbecue chicken and it came with really delicious Mac and cheese from Chris Rittell. But there's so many great options. And what I also love so much is that they have fresh, seasonal ingredients. The chefs clearly handpicked to bring out comforting flavors and thoughtful balance. Cooking quality meals takes time, but it doesn't have to be your time. No cleanup or meal planning. Meals are delivered fully cooked. Just heat up in as little as five minutes. For any parent I know that is music to your ears. There's over 25 plus diets and cuisines, so you can always match your cravings with your wellness goals. Taste, comfort, and craftsmanship in every bite. From the award winning chefs behind CookUnity, go to cookunity.comhonest or enter code honest before checkout to get 50% off your first order. That's 50% off your first order by using code honest or going to cookunity.comhonest. What advice would you give your daughter about men when she starts dating? Oh, I like that. That's a good question. I'm also going to do an entire podcast of advice for my kids. I'm going to do that in the next couple weeks, but advice for my daughter about dating. So since we're talking about my daughter in particular, Sailor. Sailor is my toughest kid. Sailor is me. Sailor is not someone I have to worry about with men. And I just know that because of who she is, man, she's a tough cookie. With that being said, I definitely would tell Sailor that her gut feeling is always right about every guy. We as women know our gut feeling is never, ever wrong. I think also with the dating piece, I think for me as a mom, the bigger thing is teaching Saylor to love herself and to be confident. I think, you know, I did a lot of dumb stuff in my teens because I had no, no self love. Like really. And I mean, you guys saw some of it on tv, but that was like such a small piece of what was really going on in my life. But I just didn't, I didn't respect myself, you know, And I think so. I think that's the biggest pieces. And it starts way before the kids are dating. I mean, it starts when they're born. You know, it's. It's raising a daughter who values herself and respects herself so that she doesn't actually put herself in really shitty situations and so that she doesn't do stuff that she may regret later on or not feel very good about. And so I think that's really what it is. So that then she's able to say yes to dates with quality guys rather than guys who are, like, let's just say, trying to get in her pants or something. I think that's really what it's about.
- [45:29]
B
Hi, Kristin.
- [45:30]
A
My question is more related to Uncommon James.
- [45:34]
B
So I did watch Mary Cavallari and saw how you started at Uncommon James, but I'm more curious as to, like, how it works even now. Like, do you design all your pieces, like, do the sketches and then send.
- [45:47]
A
Them off somewhere to be made?
- [45:49]
B
Or do you, like, just tell someone your ideas and then they show up?
- [45:55]
A
Like, how does that work? I love this question. Yeah. So, okay, so let's see. I have the most amazing team. Let's start with that. I have my cfo, who has been with me for almost six years. I have my CMO marketing, who has been with me for almost five, I think. And then we just recently actually hired our cmo, but Merch, who's awesome. And so I have my leadership team. Right. And then me, of course. I'm the CEO, but my team is so fantastic that they've made it. So I'm only in office on Tuesday. I go in every Tuesday. That's when I've got all my meetings. But I'm also available. Like, it's not like we only talk on Tuesdays. Like, we're constantly texting. There's a lot of things going on, but. But where I'm at is I'm overseeing everything. However, you know, like, Matt, my cfo, is overseeing the fulfillment center, and he's really kind of keeping tabs on the stores. And, you know, like, everyone has their buckets and their roles, and then they bubble up to me, what I need to know. I don't need to know every little detail, though, you know, I mean, I think it would be one thing if Uncommon James was the only thing I had going on right now. But I. You know, I just. I. That's also not why I launched the company, to know what's going on in the fulfillment center. Of course I care, and I want to make sure everything is running as perfectly as possible. But I love the creative side of things. So, yes, I am still sole designer of all of the jewelry, and I am the one. Yes. Who is doing sketches and drawing things out, giving the measurements, doing all of that stuff. Stuff. We have two different manufacturers, so. Yes. And now with this new merch hire, you know, we're going to work hand in hand on that because she is now able to tell me, a, what's working for us. You know, she'll look at the data and B, the trends. And now we've. It's just she was kind of the missing puzzle piece that we needed, and she's been incredible. And so she will now kind of help me to decide what. What direction we want to go with the jewelry. And then the other thing that I do that I love so much is I'm constantly developing products for skin care and makeup. I think maybe I've said that we were going to do makeup at some point. I'm not exactly sure, but we are. We're in the process of developing makeup, and it's just. It's a process. Also, fragrance, you know, our fragrance Hard Feelings was so successful that we have another one coming out and then maybe even another one. And so I hope my marketing team doesn't kill me for saying all of this stuff right now. I don't really know where we stand on, like, what we've announced or not announced, but that's, for me, where I really. I love. I love creating all of these products from nothing. Right? And so that's where most of my time is. And then also, I have a hand in marketing. I love coming up with, like, big picture ideas. Like, I've got a few. I've got three big ideas that I'm working on for this year. And so I look at, like, my marketing as more like brand awareness, big picture. And every Tuesday, we have our leadership meeting and we kind of, you know, flush out ideas. And that's where I'm at. And I mean, thank God for my team that they, you know, they're essentially running the ship so that I can just be there on Tuesdays. And the whole team is awesome. We have such a good team. It's so different from when we had very cavallary. Very cavallary. Definitely attracted the wrong type of employee. You know, someone who really just wanted to be on tv. And now it's people who really care about their job and. And their role and they want to grow within the company and, you know, they're there for the long term. And it's. The team is incredible. So I'm thankful to them. And, you know, we've got a lot of exciting things happening. I've had Uncommon James for almost nine years, and it's the longest thing that in my career that I've had to sustain, and I've had. It's been ebbs and flows for me of. I'll have, you know, a year where I am so excited about it. I'm so jacked up. And then, you know, I'll be honest with you guys, when I was doing my podcast tour last year, and honestly, Cavalieri, like, I've had moments where I'm so busy in other things in my career that Uncommon James kind of takes a backseat, and it suffers because of it. I mean, it just does. And now I'm really excited about it again, you know, and. And the jewelry for the next. We have it set through July. The jewelry is so good, and I'm so excited about it, and I just, like, I'm just excited about it again. But it's. It's been up and down, and I think it's because I only have so much bandwidth for whatever I have going on in my career. I think I've told you guys, but, like, I've got my family bucket, my work bucket, and my social life bucket, which is the smallest for sure. But nothing will take away from family bucket but work. There's only so much room, right, to. If I'm adding things into my work bucket, well, something else is going to suffer. Unfortunately, that's just kind of the harsh reality of where I'm at in my life right now. And so when I was doing all these other things last year, Uncommon James did suffer. But again, I look at it as a good thing because it's like, okay, I know. I actually can't completely step away from it. I am the heartbeat of Uncommon James. And when I'm 100% in and locked in and committed to designing a great collection or whatever it is, it shows. And I'm the first to admit, I think. I think our jewelry last year was not the best that it's been. And, you know, so anyways, we're getting back there, and this year, I think, is going to be a huge turning point for Uncommon James. So I'm. I'm really excited about that.
- [51:58]
B
This is so exciting. Such a fabulous idea. Love you. So mine's the health and fitness situation. Do you work out with a trainer every time you work out? How often do you work out? How long do you work out for. For. Is it mostly weights? No, cardio? That sort of thing? I'm sure you've been asked a million times before because your body is.
- [52:21]
A
Whoa.
- [52:22]
B
And then the food component, are you intuitive with your eating? Are you intentional, you know, specific things on your plate. Is there a formula? Is there a plan? What's your overall idea on all of that? I mean, your beauty is top notch, and then the body situation is just, ah, a boom shakalaka. Boom shakalaka. Okay, thanks.
- [52:53]
A
I'm obsessed with her. Oh, my God. Okay, Yes. I get this question a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. And I do feel like I've talked about a little bit here and there on the podcast, but I'm gonna break it down for you guys. Okay, let's start with working out. I work out four days a week, and I work out with a trainer one day a week. However, I've worked out with trainers, I mean, for years. And so when I went down to one day a week with my trainer Kevin a couple years ago, I. I know what I'm doing in the gym because I've worked out with trainers for so long, so I. I can get around a gym, you know, And I also, I'm good at pushing myself. Not as much as my trainer Kevin does, but I definitely do push myself. So I lift. This is typically on a normal week, this is what I do. Monday, I will work out by myself and I will lift weights. I don't work out Tuesdays because I go to the office. Wednesday, I will do 30 minutes on a StairMaster. Thursday, I work out with my trainer Kevin for an hour, by the way, and he kills me, murders me with really heavy weight. And then Friday, I will again lift weights by myself for an hour. But I don't. I don't go crazy, but I still am. I'm pushing myself, but not to the point where, like, I'm not able to walk the next day. And then I always take the weekends off. Always, always, always. There was a phase of my life where I was waking up at 5am every day and working out five days a week for an hour, and I wasn't lifting as heavy. And I look better today than I did years ago because I also think recovery is just as important. And I don't. I think. I think stress is also plays a huge, huge role in how you look. And I think also when I was working out at 5am I was stressed. Like, there was a lot more to it. But I also, I just think. I don't think you actually have to kill yourself in the gym, you know, six days a week. Like, I just really don't. I think if you work out four days a week and you make them really good workouts, I think you're good. And so, yeah, I work Out Monday, Monday, Thursday, Friday for an hour. And then Wednesday I just do 30 minutes on the StairMaster. I just started doing that. I wasn't doing any cardio, really. This is a kind of a recent thing. I mean, once in a blue moon, maybe I would do that. But I don't know why. I just feel like. I don't know. I just need to. Well, I'll tell you why, actually. Because I've been working out in a barn for the last year and a half, and I didn't have any power in my barn. I just. I built a gym at my house. My gym is finally done. And so I have. I've had a StairMaster, but now I finally have power. I can use it. That's kind of. That's really why. Okay. And then the eating thing. So I talk about this in all of my cookbooks, or at least true roots and true comfort. I try to eat just real food. Real food. So I don't care about calories. I don't care about fat. I don't care about sugar. It depends. All I care about is ingredients. So I read ingredient labels on everything. And if it's really processed and has a bunch of chemicals and that I don't want in my body, I'm not eating it. So a typical. I can just run you through this. So I do focus on protein a lot. I used to focus on vegetables a lot, too, and I haven't been focusing on vegetables as much. I don't really know why I still eat vegetables, but not like I did seven years ago, let's say. But okay, so breakfast, I like. Oh, this morning I had a piece of a jalapeno cheddar sourdough that I get from. It's called the Needed loaf. It's here in Franklin, Tennessee, actually. It's all over. It's all over Tennessee. But it's homemade. This woman makes it, and it's the best quality you can get. The whole. The sourdough at Whole Foods has a bunch of in it, you guys, if you really start paying attention, mention that ingredient list is insane. It's sourdough bread. It should be like four ingredients. So that's the other thing, too, is I prioritize farmers markets, little farm pickups around here. Doing the sourdough bread pickup, like, that's just important to me. You know, you have to decide what's important to you. The quality of food is the most important thing. Okay, so breakfast, I'll do anywhere between three and four eggs. Today I did fried eggs with my Sourdough toast. And then I had half of an avocado with a little olive oil and sea salt and some little teeny tiny tomatoes. That was my breakfast this morning. I usually, like 98% of the time, have some sort of an egg, whether it's scrambled eggs, fried eggs, whatever. Hard boiled eggs. I will do hard boiled eggs. I don't always have sourdough toast. It just kind of depends. I've been on a huge sourdough kick as of late. Sometimes I'll have a couple weeks where I don't eat it. If I'm. I think if I'm trying to. If I was going on a beach vacation or if I was getting ready for a photo shoot, I probably would reel in the sourdough bread for like two weeks. But if I'm just chilling and have nothing coming up, then I will go ham on the sourdough. I. Sourdough bread is my favorite thing on the planet. Okay. And then I just had lunch before I came out here to film this podcast. I did three. Three chicken thighs, bone in chicken thighs with leftover Bang Bang sauce that I had from Bang Bang Chicken, which is in Truly Simple. Is it Truly Simple? One of my cookbooks, which is just like a mayonnaise based sauce, but it's amazing. And what else did I just have with it? Oh, and I had a bunch of the masa chipotle tortilla chips with a shit ton of guacamole. And I got this guacamole at the farmer's market. I didn't even make it, so that's what I had. And tonight I'm making burgers with sourdough buns that I get from my same girl. And I'm gonna do loaded baked potato skins and I'm gonna cut up some cucumbers or something. Oh, I'm also gonna make a spinach artichoke dip. So. And by the way, we don't have. There's no school today. It's Martin Luther King day. And so I'm able to make this spinach artichoke, artichoke dip, which I normally wouldn't because we'd be running between spinach sports and just all the things. But I have a little more time today, so I am gonna go out, go all out and do that. So that's a typical day. But like, I'm gonna make. I usually make steak once a week for dinner and I'll do like fried Brussels sprouts. And I'm gonna do a homemade Mac and cheese with it, you know, I think, listen, if I wasn't cooking for kids, I would be pretty simple. I would be making like steak and a sweet potato and like some roasted asparagus. Like, I'm fine with something like that, but with my kids, you know, like, I can do that once in a while. But like, they want the homemade Mac and cheese and they want, you know, all the things. And so I do do that. But honestly, with my kids schedule lately with basketball, I mean, basketball is just fucking sending me and now throwing sailors volleyball in the mix. We. I'm typically, I have like 20 minutes to make dinner. And so it's been whatever is the easiest, quickest thing. But in my cookbook, truly simple, there really are a ton of easy recipes. I just made homemade Mexican pizzas the other night after a basketball. And that takes 30 minutes. I mean, if that. And so it can be done. But I like when I have, you know, like at least an hour in the kitchen, I don't feel rushed, but that's. That doesn't happen anymore. So snacks. I like beef jerky sticks. I like apples. I like coconut cult yogurt. I like guacamole. If I didn't have it for lunch, you know, like, that would be a good snack. I'm trying to think what's in my fridge right now. Yeah, I do. I really do prioritize protein, but again, it's eating real whole food. We do do carbs. I do. We do a ton of rice. We love a poke bowl. I make poke bowls once a week. We love sweet potatoes. If I'm doing pasta, it's gonna be a Durham semolina wheat from Italy. You can get the stuff at Whole Foods. There's nothing like that crazy or fancy, but just like good quality. I actually think you can eat everything as long as the quality is good. I am allergic to cow's milk. That's the, the only thing. So I can't do like a cheddar cheese. I can do a goat cheddar cheese. Or. Or I can, I can do it. But then I know I'm gonna get a lot of phlegm. If I eat enough, I'll get a rash. Like it's just. Just fucks with me. What else? What else? Trying to think sweets. I definitely. So I used to have the biggest sweet tooth and had to have something every single night. I. I'm actually no longer like that. But I do love like a chocolate covered date. I like chocolate. Like, that's kind of my thing. I'm going to make souffle is this weekend, I think, though, I love. Yeah, I. I'm. I'm a chocolate girl. I like a chocolate peanut butter cup, too, but I'll get like, the Justin's ones or the Unreal ones, the healthier ones. Like, I'm never going to eat a Reese's Halloween. I will have, like one Milky Way. Like a little Milky Way. But, like, I typically will not eat that crap, like, ever, ever, ever, ever. I'm not eating fast food. We're getting in and outs here now in Tennessee, so I'll probably have in and out at some point. But, like, couldn't tell you the last time I had fast food and I don't drink soda. However, there was one time in the last, like, six months I was deathly hungover and I got a cherry Coke the next day and it saved my life. But so rare for me. And my point with telling you that is, I do eat very clean most of the time, but when I go out to eat, I eat whatever I want and I don't feel guilty about it. If I'm traveling, I eat whatever I want. I also do have a couple of days a month where I just go fucking ham and I just eat. I just eat whatever I want. I made a grilled cheese. Yesterday was actually that day for me. I made the best grilled cheese on the planet last night. Again, I think it has to do with this sourdough bread. And I also got a jalapeno cheddar with cow's milk. I know I shouldn't have done it. That's probably why I'm kind of flemmy today. And I mixed it with a goat cheddar. So I was like, it's not, you know, so bad, but it was so good. And then I load on the butter, which, by the way, we. I use so much butter in my house, we eat bacon. Like, I'm just trying to think of all the little things. As long as it's real, we eat it. We don't do a lot of pork besides bacon, though. Oh, another thing. I don't drink alcohol very much, so I probably drink twice a month maybe, and it's really only every other weekend when I don't have my kids. I'll maybe go out one night or go to dinner or whatever. I'm not going out really that much, but I think that plays a huge role, too. Alcohol. I've never been someone who just, like, opens up a bottle of wine at my house that night. Like, I have a full bar at my house that never moves Because I don't drink at my house. I've got a little wine cellar that it's been stocked for, you know, for years because I'm not tapping into it. So I think the alcohol plays a huge role.
- [63:32]
B
Hi, my name is Rebecca and my question for you, Kristin, is this is as busy as you are. You seem to always make time for your friends and for me I'm finding it very difficult. But as I've gone older, my friend circle has shrunk and the remaining two to three good friends, I have never initiate a hang up. If I don't make the plan, nothing ever happens. And I recently was like, I don't want to do that anymore. So I haven't seen any of my friends in probably four to five months. No one has said, hey, let's get together. Hey, when are you free? This is when I'm free. So I guess my question for you is how do I get out there and make new friends? But also for you, it seems you're able to keep your friendships. You have what it seems like regular meetups or hangouts. So I'm just wondering, as someone who is also busy, you have kids, you have a business, yet you make time for them. So how do you do that? And what is a lesson that you could give to other people who are also have kids? I don't and have a busy career, but aren't making time for that. And for people like me, sorry, it's long. Who are feeling very neglected and lonely. How do I convey that to them without making them defensive? Thank you.
- [64:52]
A
Oh, man. Oh, the friendship thing is so real. I mean, it's hard, you know, as we get older, it's hard to maintain friendships because life gets really busy. I think. Well, first of all, if it's a one way street and your friends are not reciprocating whatsoever, those are not your friends. Like, let's just all agree, any type of relationship that is one sided is not a relationship. So listen, I think you can easily have a conversation with your friends and be like, I just want you to know my feelings have been hurt because I've taken a step back in the last few months and I've realized this is definitely one sided. If I'm not making plans, you know, nobody is. And I think it's not, you know, don't do it in a way where you're attacking them. It's more just how you feel. And I think you could also say, like, listen, I get it, you know, life gets busy, but I'm feeling kind of neglected in this relationship. And I just wanted you to know how I feel. And I think you can kind of leave it a little open ended and see how they react. But I think yes, I think you should probably be making other friends. And how you can make other friends is whatever your interests are, whatever your hobbies are. You know, if you, you could join, you know, a cooking class, you could join a book club, you could join like whatever you're into, you could, you know, put yourself out there so that you can start meeting new people. And it is so hard as an adult to make new friends. It just is. If it's not through work, it's like, you know, how do you do it? But I think that's it. You have to get outside of your comfort zone a little bit, maybe join some groups and start, just start meeting people. I also want you to know it, I guess from the outside maybe it does seem like I'm regularly meeting up with my friends. My social life suffers the most. And the only time I do have for a social life is every other weekend when my kids are with my ex. And sure I could get a babysitter and I could go out with my friends, but I just don't. When I, I have my kids, I have my kids and really it's because I just, I don't really want to be completely honest. I'm a homebody. I'd rather just be at home. I love my routine with my kids and we have a game, it seems like almost every night, you know, there's something always going on with the kids and so I don't know, for me I'd rather just make dinner and be in bed at 9. Still, like, I, I don't know, I just like our routine and I like being home with my kids. But, but I do have every other weekend, but not always because then the flip side of that also is sometimes my every other weekend is dedicated to work. Luckily I do go to LA for work and so I'm able to then see my girlfriends in LA when I'm out there, which is nice. I've been seeing Justin and Scoot a lot more because I haven't been traveling, which has also been, oh my God, it's been so nice for me to be home, you guys. I don't even know the last time I got an airplane. It's been a couple months and that never happens for me. And I feel like, wow, my life is so chill. I realized traveling is what makes my life so fucking hectic. So I'm Gonna try not to travel as much, but. But it is nice. I have to go to LA at the middle of February to go do an uncommon James photo shoot and I will see my girls in la, you know, but, but my point is. So I've, I've seen Justin and Scoot every other weekend because I've been in town and. But you also have to understand, I'm not dating like I am. I don't even know the last time I went on a date. So the free time that I do have right now is all going towards either being home and having a minute by myself, which I do also do, or getting dinner with the boys. That's kind of it. I mean, I have a couple of girlfriends out here by me and who I met through school and we will get tea, like they'll come over after school, drop off sometimes and we'll have a tea or a coffee and just catch up for an hour. And actually one of my girlfriends has a six month old baby and she brings him over and so, but you know, you, you do need friends who understand where you're at in life if you guys are in similar stages. Like, I know for me, a lot of my girlfriends have kids as well and it's just a busy season of life, you know, I mean, obviously Justin Scoot don't have kids, but they understand it, they see it and they're never like, you know, pressuring me to hang out because they, they get it. They know. And they know that when I do have time, I will be with them. But I really actually don't feel like I have much of a social life. And that's okay with me because I also know this is a season of life. I've got kids in the house for eight more years. And maybe that seems like a long time to some people, but I know how fast that's gonna go because, you know, I'm losing Camden here in five, five and a half years and that, that kills me when I think about that. Oh, I started. I said to him the other day, I was like, you're leaving in five and a half years. And just started crying. He was like, mom, it's not like I'm never going to see you again. I was like, I know, but wait, how is that even possible? Like, I feel like I. They were just babies. But I think my point of this is sometimes it may seem like something to the outside world, but it's actually very different. I probably see friends two times a month. Honestly, like, honestly, if I were to break it Down. That's probably it. And, you know, that's the other thing, too. It's like, I say I want a relationship, but at the end of the day, I'm like, I don't know if I have time for it. I really kind of don't. So anyways. Oh, that's a whole other conversation. Okay. There are a couple, just easy ones that people wrote in. Also on Instagram, thoughts on celebrity facelifts. Own up or say it's just great skin care. I mean, I think no one thinks it's just good skin care. I think you have to say something. But I understand why celebrities don't come out and say everything that they've done. And I also understand why some people do. I think celebrities can't win when it comes to the work they've done, their appearance. Like, you just can't win. And I even know when I came out and said that I had my boobs done, and people were like, what do you mean? You didn't say you had an implant, you know, years ago. And I'm like, well, I said I had a boob lift. I mean, to me, I didn't know people did lifts without an implant. To me, me saying that I did a lift was me saying more than I needed to. I could have just said I had my boobs done. But me, whatever. My point is, this is, you can't win, and people are going to be so mad at you no matter what. Like, oh, well, the only reason she looks good is because she got a facelift. Or I just think. I just think you can't win. I think there are some cases where it's so obvious that something happened that you can't just say it's skincare. Which I think maybe we all know who we're talking about, but, like, girl, you have a different face. You need to just admit it. And, you know, also, though, you guys, I've been accused of so much stuff that I've never done that I think sometimes people assume that they've done things when they haven't. Microcurrent, Gua sha. These things can all really change your skin. Really. Like, if you've done them for years, they microcurrent lifts your face. Like, it just does. And so, I don't know, I just think. I think sometimes it's bad to assume people have done things when they might not. Okay, who's on your dating radar? I mean, literally nobody. Like, I don't have one person on my dating radar. So if you guys have any ideas, send Them my way. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I think the last date I went on was the first week of December in L. A. It was a guy I'd been on a few dates with. But, like, what? I can't. I can't date someone that doesn't live here. I just can't because I can't be traveling to someone right now. And I don't know. If I were to make anything work, it would have to be with someone who lives in Tennessee. Okay, we'll do two more. Do you like doing a podcast or do you do it just for the paycheck? Love a direct question. I absolutely love doing this podcast. I am so thankful for it. And I've said it before, but having my, my voice be controlled for so many years to now be able to have this podcast and be fully in control of it and be able to connect with you guys in such a way that I was never able to before, I think is really special. I mean, you guys finally get to know me on a. On a really deep level too. And I sort of look at this podcast in a way of like a diary entry, you know, I have found it to be therapeutic in a lot of ways and just feel to like, come on here and spill whatever I'm thinking. And I feel like I've grown a lot on the podcast, you know, even in the last two and a half years that I've had it, I feel like you guys have been on this journey with me and I think it's a really cool opportunity that I have. And I'm thankful that, you know, you guys care enough to listen and are allowing me to have this. And also just logistically that I'm able to do it from my house and work on my schedule is something I will never take for granted. So, no, I, I'm so thankful for this podcast and I love it so, so, so much. Okay, last one. This is a long ass podcast. Sorry, guys. What do you view as the measure of success or happiness for yourself? I love this question. Success to me is inner peace. Well, success slash happiness. And really it's that simple of an answer. It's. It's inner peace. And I do feel like I am finally there. And I've been there for a minute, but it's been a journey. It's taken my whole life to get here. And. Yeah, and I think too, as a mom, happiness is also how happy my kids are. Like, I think that kind of goes without saying when you're a mom, you know, I think you're only as happy as your unhappiest kid. But I also know they have their own journey. And at the end of the day, as a mom, you have to also let them go. Right? Like, they're their own people, and they're gonna have their own experiences. And there's only so much we can do as a parent. We can just be a guide, and we can hopefully instill as much wisdom as possible, but then we have to let go. And so, yeah, that's that. But thanks for calling in, you guys. How fun. And submitting questions also on Instagram. But it's so fun that we have this voicemail now, and I get to hear your voices and listen. I listened to every single one, and there were a lot. Okay, but. And it's hard for me to narrow them down, but I try to do the questions that have the most. You know, like, there's. There's always a couple outliers, couple random best questions, but a lot of them are kind of the same. And so I try to just do those ones that have the most. So, anyways, thank you for listening. I appreciate you guys, as always, and I will see you next week. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a.
- [75:56]
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Direct or indirect financial interest in products.
- [75:58]
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Or services referred to in this episode.