Can We Just Be Honest About How Hard Motherhood Is? With Stephanie Biegel

Summary

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Let’s Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari

Episode: Can We Just Be Honest About How Hard Motherhood Is?

Guest: Stephanie Beigel

Release Date: January 27, 2026
Host: Kristin Cavallari (with Stephanie Beigel)
Podcast Network: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around brutal honesty about the realities of motherhood: its difficulties, challenges, identity shifts, the "mother load," and the expectations and guilt moms often face. Kristin and her longtime friend Stephanie break the silence on the less-discussed struggles of raising children, sharing personal anecdotes and advice with humor, warmth, and candor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Growing Up and Embracing Change ([00:23]-[03:29])

• Aging and Friendship: The episode begins with playful banter about getting older. Stephanie expresses excitement for her approaching 40s, refusing to buy into age-related anxiety. Both reminisce about their long friendship and earlier years in LA.
• Motherhood Timeline: Kristin notes that the last time Stephanie was on the pod, she was pregnant, and now her son Oliver is almost two. They joke about whether kids resemble their parents and the peculiarities of baby comparisons.

2. The Truth About Motherhood ([03:29]-[07:13])

• Hard But Taboo: Both women highlight how it feels taboo to say motherhood is incredibly hard, even among friends, and set out to have an open, nonjudgmental conversation about the real challenges of being a mom, while acknowledging their gratitude.
  • Stephanie: “Both things can exist. Where you love your kids, and you’re obsessed with them, and it’s also the hardest thing on the planet.” ([03:51])
• Identity Loss & Mother-Primary Load: Kristin discusses the shocking shift in identity after becoming a mom later in life, how she mourned her pre-mom self, and the societal message that mothers should treat the role as "perfect."
  • Kristin: “I like to talk a lot about, like, the loss of who I was, because... I lost a lot of who... I did or they’ve changed. But I think the identity shift is... For me, the hardest things.” ([04:07])
  • They coin the term "mother load" for the constant, mental tracking and planning that falls on moms, regardless of how supportive husbands are.

3. No Manual: Phases, Overload, and Guilt ([07:13]-[10:27])

• Everything Is a Phase: Stephanie recalls advice from her mother that “everything is a phase,” and how that mentality helps get through the toughest parts.
• Societal Pressure and Guilt: They emphasize feeling guilty whether with their children or taking time for themselves, and the expectation that moms should love every moment.
  • Kristin: “I know there are so many women out there trying to become a mom. I see you, I support you... There’s nothing I’m more proud of than being a mom, but I also want to be a full human.” ([08:43])
• Ages and Stages: Both reflect on having children at very different times in their lives, and the unique challenges (Kristin at 39, Stephanie at 25). Kristin laments the rigidity of routines at an older age, while Stephanie recalls a lack of peers when she became a young mother.

4. Energy, Sleep, and Relentlessness ([12:41]-[14:13])

• Different Mom Experiences: The exhaustion of young children is universal, but the amount of energy required is particularly overwhelming when older. Kristin quips about fighting with her Oura Ring over needing more sleep.
  • Kristin: “Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.” ([13:56])
• Physical Exhaustion: Both share that sometimes they’re asleep before their children, and how their self-expectations don’t match the chaotic reality of chasing toddlers.

5. The Realities of Child Development and ‘Good’ Babies ([18:47]-[57:40])

• Personalities and Phases: Kristin describes Oliver as wild, opinionated, and exhausting but delightful—“every week at this age, it’s so wild how they change.” ([19:12])
• The Myth of the Good Baby: The women reject the loaded “is he a good baby?” question, joke about the impossibility of perfect children, and share stories of difficult phases: eczema, short naps, tantrums, and the eventual bittersweetness of kids growing up and gaining independence.
  • Stephanie: “It’s not rare that I’m with my kids, but between school, sports and now, they want to be with their friends all the time... my time with them is pretty limited.” ([20:56])
  • They joke about "bad" babies, impossible standards, and how each child is different.
• Repair & Apology: Repairing after a parent misstep is essential—“it’s not about being perfect; it’s about repairing the rupture.” ([27:07])

6. The Importance of Self-Care and a Village ([38:32]-[42:06])

• Keeping a Sense of Self: Kristin shares the importance of morning workouts, solo sauna time, and maintaining her consultancy work to feel like herself and be a better mom.
  • Kristin: “I try to prioritize... keeping my workouts every morning. I am a working mom. It means a lot to me. I feel wildly fulfilled by doing that work... makes me, I swear, a better mom at the end of the day.” ([38:32])
• No Medals for Self-Sacrifice: Stephanie warns against the “martyr mom” complex—everyone needs breaks, help, and support, whether from family, friends, or hired support.
  • “You don’t get a medal. Like, everyone should be leaning on people where they can... it makes you a better mom.” ([40:47])

7. Relationships After Kids ([30:05]-[36:00])

• Impact on Partnership: Having a baby dramatically affects relationships; time alone as a couple becomes rare and precious, and resentment around the distribution of labor is common. The solution is open communication and appreciation.
  • Kristin: “A little acknowledgement... just get a card and write a simple little card. It takes you two minutes. Get some flowers on the way home.” ([33:50])
  • Both laugh about how simple it is, and how grateful recognition from a partner is a huge motivator. “Just tell me how great I am.” ([33:08])
• Fathers vs. Mothers: They mock the narrative that dads “babysit” their own kids—“No, he’s being a dad. He’s with his kids.”([35:09])

8. Overwhelm, Comparisons, and Trusting Yourself ([44:13]-[47:27])

• Information Overload: Kristin admits to compiling an exhaustive Google doc of all recommended baby products—a reflection of both her anxiety and the modern inundation of advice. They joke about simpler times when there was less judgment and less data.
• Perfectionism and Intuition: Kristin works on letting go of a perfectionist mentality, trusting her gut, and acknowledging that all parents are just doing their best.
  • “No one knows what they’re doing.” ([28:36])

9. stories, Tips, and Lighthearted Moments (select highlights)

• Repairing Connections: “You only actually have to get it right 30% of the time.” ([26:55]) — a therapist’s advice that gave both relief.
• Sleeping Arrangements: Extended discussion about kids sharing beds with parents, what’s “normal,” FOMO, and how every family finds their own rhythm ([48:07]).
• Travel Disasters: Airplane woes, poop-and-puke stories, empathy for moms struggling in public, and the universal truth that “everyone is different, and they’re all going to be okay.” ([45:20])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Identity Loss:
  “Waking up one day...your identity is literally different 100%.”
  – Kristin Cavallari ([04:49])

• The Mother Load:
  “I used to call it the mental load. Now I call it the mother load.”
  – Kristin Cavallari ([05:52])

• On Not Talking About Hard Stuff:
  “It’s important to have these conversations so that we don’t feel so alone and isolated in those moments.”
  – Stephanie Beigel ([07:13])

• On Sleep Deprivation:
  “Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.”
  – Kristin Cavallari ([13:56])

• On Parental Self-Doubt:
  “Did I ask my friends enough if they were okay?”
  – Kristin Cavallari ([08:58])

• Repair over Perfection:
  “You only have to get it right 30% of the time.”
  – Stephanie Beigel ([26:55])

• On Relationships:
  “A little acknowledgement... just get a card and write a simple little card. It takes you two minutes. Get some flowers on the way home.”
  – Stephanie Beigel ([33:50])

• On Validation:
  “Just tell me how great I am. Like, it’s really not that hard.”
  – Kristin Cavallari ([33:08])

• On “Good” vs. “Bad” Babies:
  “Stop asking us if our babies... is he a good baby? Like, am I gonna keep. Yeah, I love him.”
  – Kristin Cavallari ([56:08])

• On Parent Appreciation:
  “When you have kids, you finally appreciate your parents.”
  – Stephanie Beigel ([57:47])

• Grandma’s Desired Nickname:
  “My mom...came in one day and she was like, I want Oliver to call me Sugar.”
  – Kristin Cavallari, launching into raucous laughter ([58:14])

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Practical Tips & Takeaways

• It’s okay to grieve your old self: The identity transition into motherhood is real and often overlooked.
• Ask for help and take breaks: There’s no prize for self-sacrifice; support systems are essential.
• No one has all the answers: Every child is unique. Parenting is all trial-and-error; “no one knows what they’re doing.” ([28:36])
• Repair, don’t strive for perfection: It’s less about always getting it right, and more about repairing after moments of rupture.
• Keep connections alive: Both with your partner and your child, little gestures of appreciation go a long way.
• Treasure the present phase: However hard the current stage, it will change—and one day, you’ll look back and miss parts of it.
• Comparison is futile: Ignore the “good baby” myth. Every child (and family) is different.

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Segment Timestamps

• [00:23] – Friendship, aging, and motherhood check-in
• [03:29] – Launching the “real talk” about motherhood
• [04:07] – Identity loss, societal expectations, mental load
• [07:13] – Phases, overwhelm, and isolation
• [12:41] – Exhaustion, energy, and physical toll
• [18:47] – Specific stories about their children’s quirks and differences
• [26:55] – Repair and the 30% rule for parenting
• [30:05] – Relationship challenges and the simple power of appreciation
• [38:32] – Self-care, support, and escaping the martyr complex
• [44:13] – Information overload, trusting intuition, letting go of perfection
• [48:07] – Kids’ sleeping habits, settling nervous systems, and family dynamics
• [53:05] – Airplane/outing horror stories and parental anxiety
• [55:12-57:40] – The loaded “good baby” question and accepting children’s differences
• [57:47] – Gaining newfound appreciation for their own parents

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Tone

Candid, witty, and deeply empathetic. The episode blends humor, vulnerability, and practical wisdom, true to Kristin’s signature style of “radical honesty.”

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This episode is an affirming, reassuring listen for any mom (or parent) feeling alone in the struggle, or anyone curious about what it’s really like behind the Instagram-perfect optics of parenthood. Both Kristin and Stephanie model how friendship, genuine conversation, and self-compassion make all the difference.

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Transcript

[Kristin Cavallari]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

[Stephanie Beagle]

This is, let's be honest with Kristin Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality tv, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. First of all, cheers.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Cheers. Love you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Love you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yay. Happy holidays.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Happy holidays. But by the time this airs, it will be the end of January, so Happy New Year.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Bad.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And. And you will be older at that time.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I will be. It will be my last year in my 30s. I can't.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'm actually, like, so excited for you. I think 40 is, like, awesome.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I'm actually not weird about it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I don't think. Yeah, don't pretend to be weird.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I don't actually care at all. I love getting older.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

I love getting older.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And you're just like a fine wine babe. I don't like wine, but we'll see you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Thanks, babe. We've known each other a long time. That's kind of crazy to think about.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Decades.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Literally decades. Met in LA in our early 20s. Okay, so last time you were on the pod, you were pregnant.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You were pregnant. We were in Chicago, and we were talking about, basically, in a nutshell, not settling, waiting for the one, the right one, the right one, the right one.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And, like, if you're gonna wait that long, just, like, don't settle. Just.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Just waited this long.

[Kristin Cavallari]

If you waited, like, 40 years, like, just don't settle. Just don't settle. Just don't do it.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So now you have Oliver, who will be two. Two in June.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Crazy.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And he's the cutest thing on the planet.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Thank you so much. I like him a little bit. I think he's a cute man.

[Stephanie Beagle]

He is so cute.

[Kristin Cavallari]

He's a complicated man at times, but he's really cute. All men are. Do you think he looks like me?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Okay, I was literally just gonna say this. I do think he looks you. Do you see it?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Thank you for asking. I feel like he has. When he gives me dirty looks, I see my husband, but I do think he looks like me. And I'm not saying that I love myself, but he's really cute. And I like when people say that he's cute and that he looks like me, because then I feel like I could be cute, too.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It's a reflection of you. But it's interesting because, like, people over the years have been like, some people will say Cam looks like me. Some people. I do not see myself in any of my kids.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God. I fully see yourself.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I don't see it at all.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Really?

[Stephanie Beagle]

No, not at all, sailor. I'm just now starting to be like, oh, I do. Like, when I was her age, I think we look.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was going to say. But also because she's a girl. See, I see the boys in you. Like Camden. I always have seen.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know. See, it's so funny. I don't see it. And I'm always cam. Curious if parents can see themselves in their kids.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I think it's funny when people when. Like, when a baby's born, they're like, it's you. I'm like, it looks like an alien.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, why are you telling me the baby doesn't look like anybody?

[Kristin Cavallari]

It doesn't look like anybody, but I think it's, like, so fun. They're like, oh, my God, I see you. I'm like, people just do that to validate that, like, it's your baby. I'm like, you do not see me. But okay, cool. Or. Or, like, they'll ask, like, really young. I'm like, now I start, like, as he becomes a human, I'm like, oh, I could see more, but, like, at the beginning. No, they look like a baby.

[Stephanie Beagle]

They look exactly.

[Kristin Cavallari]

A smushed, smoky baby.

[Stephanie Beagle]

No, that's very rare. That there's a cute baby, by the way.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Agreed.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But he. He is adorable.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was gonna say, but, but, but.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But your baby and my babies.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, I was gonna say, and your babies were so cute. And you have, like, so many babies. Or you had so many babies.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Had babies. So today we wanted to talk about motherhood and the truth about motherhood. We've been having conversations, and, you know, motherhood is hard, and that's what you have your best friends for. But for some reason, you can't say that out loud, especially. And so we just wanted to have a really honest conversation about what motherhood is really like. And you're knee deep in it right now. You know, you have a year and a half old baby. I obviously have three, but mine are older. And so it's interesting to, like, go back and hear your stories. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot about all of that. Totally. So we're just going to talk about it, and we're going to be really honest. And I want to preface this with that, obviously, we're so thankful. Obviously, we're obsessed with our kids, and we love our kids. We can't imagine life without our kids. But both things. You said this the other day. Both things can exist. Where you love your kids, and you're obsessed with them, and it's also the hardest thing on the planet.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Literally.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Literally. So what do you want to start with? I want to. Okay, actually, let me hear.

[Kristin Cavallari]

What do you want to start with?

[Stephanie Beagle]

What do you want to start with? What do you think the hardest part about becoming a mom is?

[Kristin Cavallari]

The whole thing.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

But truly, I think it's. I think the hardest part for me. I had a baby at 39. I spent 39 years focused on me being, like, selfish, which, like, I have no right. Like, I had freedom. I had the flexibility to focus on whatever I wanted. I literally did whatever I wanted. And then go, whatever you want the spawn to date. I'm like, I never even understood how, like, free I was. Right. But I think waking up one day. And again, you said it. It is the most beautiful privilege in the world to be a mom. But you wake up in. Your identity is literally different 100%. And I think in society, it's like, you cannot say that it's anything but perfect. And I like to talk a lot about, like, the loss of who I was, because, yes, you shift and you change and you're a new. But I lost a lot of who, for me, personally, a lot of the things that. That I did or they've changed, however you want to say it. But I think the identity shift is one of the. For me, the hardest things, I think.

[Stephanie Beagle]

For most people, or it's almost like the loss of identity.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I think for a minute, like, yeah, you're a mom.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Who am I?

[Stephanie Beagle]

You're like, but I'm more than a mom. And it's like, Correct.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And it's. I think especially those first couple of years, it is so hard because your whole world is these kids.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Totally.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And especially for the moms, because we were just talking about this. You know, you can have the best husband, and he can be the best dad, and it can be all the things. But it's different for a mom. It just is. And the kids want to be with the moms, and we think about things that dads aren't thinking about. Like, even if you get a babysitter and you're going out to eat, it's like, but what's Oliver gonna eat? Literally, what are my kids gonna eat? Like, dads don't even think like that.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I call it. I used to call it the mental load. Now I call it the mother load. Sorry. Like. And I heard someone said to me the other day that being a mom is so hard, and if it Was easy. Then fathers would do it. I was like, okay.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, that's why we're the stronger.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. That's like, oh, sorry. But you are totally right. It's like, you know, being a mom, people used to say to me, like, oh, you'll really feel like the connect. Like, men can't feel the connection at the beginning because they're not breastfeed. Like, no. It's like being a mom, stepping into that. Like, into that role overnight for me, like, I am a control freak. I love knowing what to do as a mom every day. The minute you think you know what you're doing, like, the next day it changes.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That's like, so. Excuse my language. So fucked up, right? Like, I. There's days that I'm like, I've got this. And then the next day I wake up and Oliver's like, you thought you got that yesterday. He doesn't say it to me because he doesn't to speak yet. But. And I think the one other thing I'll say, it's not the last thing, but the thing I'll say on this is the identity piece. And honestly, the fact that I don't feel like everyone's truthful and very honest and open is really hard for me because I love being open and honest, and I love being able to say, like, it's totally okay for me in the same moment, in the same day, 400 times a day, to say, like, this is the most joyful and the hardest thing at the same time. And I don't feel like people are as honest. So in being a mom, I'm like, does anyone relate to me? Like, am I the only one who thinks it's this hard? You know, like, so that's why it's.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Important to have these conversations so that we don't feel so alone and isolated in those moments. I mean, we've all been there. Like, and I think, too, it's so interesting because everything is a phase, right? And, like, when they're little, it's really hard in different ways. And as they get older, like, for me, I think my kids are easy right now. Like, we're in a very fun, awesome phase. But it's harder in other ways. In other ways of, like, now where I stand is, it's like, everything is actually sort of an opportunity, like a teaching moment. Or, like, really setting, you know, by example right now. Or, sorry, leading by example right now is really important. And it's like real life stuff.

[Kristin Cavallari]

They're like. They're humans.

[Stephanie Beagle]

They're Humans now. But I can come out and work out at 9am I don't have to worry about them getting out of bed. Bed. It's not like I have to get them out of their beds every morning.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You're not like, wiping their asses like that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I have more freedom in my day.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Totally.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But, like. And I just remember my mom always being like, everything is a phase. And I think in those hard moments, it's important to remember that everything is a phase. But, like, I've had moments where I'm like, I don't know what to do.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, it's just so overwhelming and so fucking hard and no one is talking about it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So it makes you feel like you're crazy.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Totally. I really. I'm like, am I the only. And I have so many friends, including you, that have had. That have had many children, that had, you know, children 10 years ago ago, five years ago. And I'm like, did I. Was I a bad friend? Did I not ask you? But it's hard to relate unless you're in it. And again, you. You led with this. It's like, I know there are so many women out there trying to be, you know, trying to become a mom. I see you, I support you. It is like, it's a journey. It's so. So fucking magical. Right. There's nothing I'm more proud of than being a mom, but I also want to be a full human.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right. And do other things. And I just think back to, like, did I ask my friends enough, like, if they were okay? Did I check on them enough, like, Because I do feel like there was. There is this, like, you know, just this interesting dance of like, you're. It's such a privilege, so you have to. You have to love it.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah. And, well, right? You're.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, you're. Or you're.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You're supposed to love.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You're supposed to love. Right? And I'm like. And I. I like to talk a lot about that. Like, I really do feel two things at the same time. I love it. I mean, I wake up and I look at that boy, and I'm like, how is this real life? And then there's. As the day goes on, I'm like, this is. You know, I have fear, I have guilt. Like, the spectrum of emotions I go through, it's like, so, so real. And I just find talking about it or like, having other people say, like, you and I are always so honest with that. You're like, I was in it. Right? You were in it. Way younger than I was. Which is crazy to think about, too.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Well, okay, first of all, you were never a bad friend, and you have said that. And I actually think. Cause, you know, when I moved to Chicago and I had camp, you were kind of the only person I knew.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I remember doing a lot of activities.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You were the best friend.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Camden came everywhere with us.

[Kristin Cavallari]

This was like a layup question. I wanted you just to tell me that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

No, but it's true. Oh, my. I can't imagine what I would have done without you. Here's the thing, and I'm excited to have this conversation with you is. Yeah. I was 25 when I had Cam, and by the time I was 30, I had already had three kids, which.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Is, like, literally mind blowing to me.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I didn't know any different. And so I actually think in a lot of ways that was probably easier because it was like, okay, we're just in the next phase of life. I didn't have time to think about it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You did not know any different.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I did not know any different. The hard part was I had no one else in my life who had a baby.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So I was sort of on an island, figuring things out as I went along, which every mom does do. But I didn't have a lot of resources or people I could ask, you know, like my mom. But, like, you did that 25 years ago, right? Literally, like, yeah. So I've thought about you a lot because. Yeah, at 39, you are set in your ways. You've got your life, you've got your schedule, your routine. Like, you're. You travel a lot, and then all of a sudden, boom, we're throwing a baby in the mix, and you can't do that anymore.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That is like. And. And I know we talk about it all the time, but, like, I think about you, and I'm like. It just seems easy is the wrong word. But, like, you just. You, like, leaned in because it's. Yeah, it's. That was your life. Right. Like, I remember, like, taking, like, going on walks with Cam and the Gold coast, like, taking him everywhere we wanted to go. We went shopping. And I'm like, you know, I gotta take Oliver to Target. Like, oh, my God. Like, I have so many errands to do. Like, should I take them? Should I leave them at home? I have to go to the grocery store. Like, I know. Thank you for Amazon, you know, like. But I don't think that there's one that is perfectly easy or not easy. But I do think that the fact That I was so set in my ways that now I'm like, it's even more mind blowing to me of how much has shifted and how much has changed. Right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Totally.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And I think, I wish almost, you know, for many reasons, like, of course, like I didn't settle, so it took me a little longer to get here and I'm here now. I do wish in many ways that I was a bit younger or a bit less stubborn or a bit less like selfish because I do think I would probably be more flexible. And I think, I think part of that identity loss, which I really believe it is, is because I had that identity for a very long time. Right. Like I've been on this planet for a long time before Oliver arrived and even my husband, like when we talk a lot about this, we both lived a lot of life before he came around, so we were still getting to know each other. Like we've been together for five years. Like we, we're trying to stay connected, we're trying to navigate this. He's losing our hit. Parts of his life are changing. Like it's, it's a lot all happening at the same time in the same orbit, you know, right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Where for me at 25, it was almost like I didn't really have an identity. I was still shifting and growing and changing.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right. Which I do think that there's beauty too.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And like, I think you were able to be a lot, like a lot have a lot more agility than I feel like I have today.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And I gotta be honest with you too, like, even the energy and like sleep factor alone, like Today as a 39 year old woman, like, no, if I don't get my eight hours like.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Fudge off, I like, I get in, I get in fights with my oura ring. I'm like, you're just such an asshole. Like, why do you keep telling me that I got to do better? I'm like, I know I have to do better.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I could never have. I could do it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'm, I'm perpetually.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I will let that baby crawl.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, I know, but it's like, you know when people ask you the question, like, how are you? And you're supposed to be like, everything's great. I'm like, I'm really tired.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah, you're fucking. And by the way, even when they're sleeping through the night, it doesn't full on.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It doesn't matter.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It is full on when they're little. So you're exhausted. I remember like by the time they'd go to Bed at night. I'm like, I'm going to bed. I'm falling asleep right now.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I want to go to bed before he goes to bed.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I mean, it's. You're so right. Like I always say I should be so much cuter. I just chase that kid around.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, you're non stop.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'm non stop. Like, I'm like, are you tired, sir? No.

[Stephanie Beagle]

How are they never tired?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Not tired.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Well.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And so it's even now. I go to bed before my kids. My kids all go to bed after me. I love. Your husband sleeps with me so he goes to bed.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, that's it. That's actually so true. But you also go to bed at like 8:29. If I text you at 8:34, I'm like, I might hear.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah, you might not hear from me after nine. Like, forget it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's fine.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I go to bed between 9 and 9:30.

[Kristin Cavallari]

But like, we know how important sleep is. And like, that's the other thing. Like, I. At the beginning of motherhood, like, everyone's like, yes, sleep. You know, I'm like, sleep is. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Like, literally imagine. Imagine that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

No, Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like in those first one, everything's changing around you. And then like, let's add that you don't sleep. Like, okay, cool.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know. It's. God, it really is so hard. All right, let's take a quick break, guys. Do not miss Jay Shetty's new Audible original series, Messy Love. Difficult Conversations for deeper connection. Join Jay as he guides three couples toward a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationship. This isn't about achieving perfect love. It's about practical love. In each episode, Shetty invites us into coaching sessions behind closed doors with couples navigating the complicated terrain of modern relationships. You'll witness raw moments of vulnerability as they work through resentment, broken trust, and generational patterns. No script, no filters, and no certainty of the outcome. Through these intimate sessions, Jay shares tools you can use to communicate with clarity and compassion, break painful cycles of blame and withdrawal, create emotional safety and rebuild trust. And turn daily moments into rituals of appreciation. Emotional, inspirational, and at moments, even transformational. This is messy love. Listen to Jay Shetty's new Audible original series, Messy Love. Difficult Conversations for deeper connection. Go to audible.com messylove to start listening today. All right, let's talk about figs. I'm sure some of you guys have friends or even family who work in healthcare. Or maybe you work in healthcare yourself. Well, I noticed something recently. The people that I know who are nurses and doctors and estheticians? Well, they all have these really cute uniforms. They're scrubs, but they fit really well and they come in all these really beautiful colors. Turns out they're figs. And figs are definitely a thing when you work in a clinical or hospital setting. They're super lightweight and breathable with four way stretch and smart functional details like moisture wicking fabric and pockets where you actually need them. And like I mentioned, the fit is a huge upgrade from the boxy scrubs we're used to seeing healthcare professionals wear. Figs reimagined them completely with genuinely beautiful tailoring and tons of styles and colors to choose from. I've always thought that nurses really could step up their game with their scrubs. So I absolutely love this because why can't nurses still feel cute in their outfits? Especially because they have to wear them all day, every day. And I do love when we start adding fashion into some of these other professions. I just think it's really fun. So if you work in healthcare or you know someone who does, you've gotta check them out. You can get 15% off your first order at wear figs.com with code FIGS RX. That's wherefigs.com code figs RX all right, I want to talk to you guys about cachava. You guys know I am very hyper aware of what I'm putting in my body, my kids bodies, just everything I'm keeping in my house. And you guys also know that I am big on all the corruption that's in our food and just our health care system and everything. Well, it's no surprise that our nutrition has gotten so disconnected and it really, at the end of the day, just needs to be simplified. That's why I'm so excited to talk to you guys about cachava. Cachava is great for so many things, but in particular it's really great for energy. It supports all day energy with five key vitamins and minerals. It's good for digestion, it keeps things regular with fiber, probiotics and enzymes. It's. It's good for strength, gives you fuel and replenishes your muscles with protein and electrolytes. Also great for metabolism. You can nurture a healthy metabolism with B vitamins, minerals and fiber. It's also good for immunity. You can nourish your immune system with vitamin C, zinc and probiotics. They can be used so many different ways. You can just do it on its own or you can blend it up with frozen fruit. You can add peanut butter, nut milk. You could even add iced coffee. Chocolate and iced coffee. Yes. Such a good combo. Rewild your [e-mail] and use code honest. New customers get $20 off an order of two bags or more. Now through the 31st. That's Kachava. K A C H A V A.com code honest. What kind of a baby is Oliver? Like you just. He's wild. He's a full on boy.

[Kristin Cavallari]

He's a boy again. I'm like, the things that people didn't tell me, like, I'm like boy versus girl. And every baby's different. Every, you know, I get it. But he's starting to like have words which I like because I'm like, oh, cool.

[Stephanie Beagle]

First word.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Car.

[Stephanie Beagle]

That makes sense.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Obviously. Yeah. Like, okay. I feel like David was laying in bed like, car, car, car. But like it helps a little bit that he talks like or like says a few words because I'm like, at least you can kind of commit it. But he's frustrated because I don't really understand him. But he speaks, speaks a different language.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So frustrated when you can't understand.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's cr. I'm like, dude, I'm trying, I'm trying my best. But now he has like some words, so that's nice. And listen, he's just, he's a boy, he's non stop. He has like a personality. He's opinionated. Like, hello, this is not surprising. And yeah, it's just like truly we said it, but like every, every week at this age, like, I know it's been a little, a few moments for you, but at this age it's like so wild how they change each week. Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And yeah, no, I remember.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Keeps me on my toes.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It definitely does keep you on your toes. Yeah. I'm trying to remember like what age they sort of like settle into who they would love. I.

[Kristin Cavallari]

If you remember that, let me know.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Jackson and Sailor were both very difficult. Like, Sailor was the best baby on the planet.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I fully remember that. I feel like by that time it was like, you have to be a great.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You're the third, right, Sailor? There's like no other.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Take care of your. Take care of yourself. Yeah, why can't you take care of yourself?

[Stephanie Beagle]

But once she could start walking, I was like, holy shit, this girl is full fire, man. And I remember being like, okay, Jackson at age 8, sort of mellowed out. And then Sailor hit 8 and I was like, oh no, why isn't she mellowing out? Sailor has Just now that fiery become sweet again.

[Kristin Cavallari]

She was, she was amazing. Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But Jackson, man, he was tough until about 8. I remember a friend when he, Jackson was probably 6 or something, he was like, I had a son like that and at age 8, like, it just switches, babe.

[Kristin Cavallari]

8.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Buckle up. Like, thank you so much.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I just want to let you guys know, chuckle the fuck up.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But here's what I'll tell you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh my God, I'm gonn for that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Here's what I'll tell you is in the midst of it, like, I remember being like, this is never going to end. Like, this is the rest of my life. Like, and now I look back and I'm like, oh my God.

[Kristin Cavallari]

My.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It's so rare. Like, it's not rare that I'm with my kids, but between school, sports and now, they want to be with their friends all the time.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You look at it, my time with them is pretty limited. You know what I mean? And like, that actually breaks my heart and I don't want to go back to that phase because I actually. Totally. But if I could have my kids at age 2 or 3 for a day, all I would do is snuggle them and eat them up. So. And everyone always says it. I remember being like, oh, I know it goes by so fast. Like, shut the fuck up. But like, as hard as it is to just know it's a phase and you're going to look back and be like, fudge, I have a 13 year old. Like, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

And even now it goes so fast. You're. You're so right. And I try, I try to stay grounded in that daily because again, like, the highlight of my day is being with that dude.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No matter what he does.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And like, don't you miss him so.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Much when you're like, I'm like, I literally was gone. I'm gone for 24 hours.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, you can't wait to leave, but then as soon as you leave, you're like, wait, I miss.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I literally. I'm like, what is he doing? I'm like, I literally left him two hours ago. But I think, I think you're, you're so right. Like, yes, everyone says it. It goes so fast. I think staying grounded in the fact that it is all a phase does help me because some of the phases are amazing and some of them are really challenging. Right? But I think for me, getting to a place where I don't really believe in balance, I think balance right now is really hard. But getting to a place where he's a Little bit more of my buddy and I can stay connected to myself, do things that are with him. For me, with my husband, it's just like, that's what I think I struggle with is I'm someone who really does. I believe you can have it all in some capacity. And I want to be the best mom for that dude. But I also really do believe that being, like, good to myself is important too.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Well, that's what will make you the best mom is making yourself a priority. And you do have to take care of yourself so that your tank is full in order to give. It's like the oxygen mask thing, you know?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Totally.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Here's what I'll tell you too, is like. And that's why those first few years are so hard. I remember dropping Sailor off at kindergarten and being like, oh my God, I made it. Like, I have full days, 100 full day. Right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

And then you still get the magic of the morning routine and the nighttime routine and all of that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You are a better mom when you have a break. I'm sorry. You are. Because you're re energized. You're more excited. You appreciate the time you have together. Like, especially now. I make it a point. Like, I'm taking you guys to dinner. Everyone's leaving their phones at home.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, love that you do that. Your date nights.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah, I know we do. I haven't done that in a second. But we were really good about doing individual date nights for a while. But it does get to a point where you have your days back. And again, like the weekends, my kids sleep in until 10. A full warning by the time I see them.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Totally.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It gets to a place where you have so much of your time back and you can make yourself a real priority again. Totally. It's hard when they're little.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's so hard. And I do feel like, you know, it's. It's where we started, but it's like just being open and honest with it and, and like releasing some of that guilt. Like, I feel guilt when I'm with him. I feel guilt when I'm not with him. I feel like it's like, oh my God. Like, how, like, how are you supposed to just like live and thrive, you know? Like a lot of days I feel like I'm surviving because I did. I spent enough time with him. Like, I, I also work. Like, were you. I can't remember because it was like a long ass time ago with. Were you working with all three of them?

[Stephanie Beagle]

So I worked. But like, I'm trying to Think not as much.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Not like I am today. I definitely felt like I sort of gave up my entertainment career. And then Fair. And then with Cam, I'm trying to remember I had a shoe line when I had Cam.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I remember that shoe line.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah. And then somewhere in the mix, I think, actually when I was pregnant with Jackson, I started getting into the hosting stuff. But again, these were, like, small stints. It didn't take up a ton of my time total. I would say for the most part, I was a stay at home mom with the boys and, well, Sailor, too. I launched Uncommon James when Sailor was six months older.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That's crazy.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah, but it wasn't what it is now, so it, you know, didn't take.

[Kristin Cavallari]

But still, I mean, I tell my friends all the time, like, being a stay at home mom, one of the hardest jobs in the entire world.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It's the hardest job, literally. And I hate when people are like, you're not a brain surgeon. No, let me explain it to you, because if you're a brain surgeon, that's a. You're being creative, you're being challenged, you're mentally stimulated.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right on.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And firing on every cylinder. Right. A stay at home mom is draining in every capacity. It sucks. Yours. No.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No, but. No, but, like, it's the hardest. Like, that is one thing I, like, celebrate every day. And I tell, like, I'm like. Like the fact that you wake up every day and you step into that role, it is like, it is one of the most incredible and incredibly hard roles there is. Like, that job is.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And here's what I'll tell you. Because it's hard in the midst of it to be like, am I a good mom? Is this pain? Am I doing the right thing? Correct. When they get older and you see them in the world and you see them interacting with a waiter at a restaurant, their friends, their little girlfriends and boyfriends, that's when you go, oh, my God, I did a good job.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'm doing a good job.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah, I did a good job. I'm doing a good job. And, like, my little people are good humans in the world.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And you are like, I mean, I love you. Obviously, I'll say, you are such a fucking good mom. And those kids, like, I love being with them. It's because, like, also, like, you taught them values. Like, you showed up for them. You have always had a lot going on, but you always made time for them.

[Stephanie Beagle]

They're my number one.

[Kristin Cavallari]

They're your number one. And I was gonna say, and they.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Know that I know that.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And I. And you always told them that you loved them. And I, like, that's something for me.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, yeah, yeah. And, you know, listen, I know I'm a good mom, and I really appreciate you saying that. It was the most important. Still is the most important thing to me. But also, I've had so many moments where I'm like, I really fudged up there. And, like, I really. I'm like, am I damaging them for the rest of their life? Like, no. Especially I've had moments with Sailor, though, where I'm like, jesus Christ. That brought out a side of me that I never want to see ever again. And kids are resilient. First of all, on the podcast, actually, I've had some incredible people and we've had conversations with therapists about kids, and they say, I think it was. You only actually have to get it right 30% of the time.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No way. Oh, gosh.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right? Doesn't that give you so much, so much hope?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right? Everyone's going to be, yeah, 30%. I've got this baby. I was. I like to be an a student. So 30%, here we are. You're golden.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And the most important thing is when you have a ruptured connection. So let's say you yell at your kid, right? Fine. You have to repair it. So coming back together, Sailor, I want you to know that is not how I want to react. And I hate that I got like that with you. I am so sorry you don't go, but by the way, you shouldn't have done X, Y, and Z. Right now I'm just apologizing to you for my up. Later we can talk about what you did and how actually.

[Kristin Cavallari]

God, that's super powerful. I love that it's in for.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It's those little things that make such a difference. The most damaging is sweeping it under the rug and pretending like it didn't happen just for, you know. Yeah, right. You know, it's. It's important. And I've always. I've always done that with my days.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It's repairing the rupture. Ruptures are gonna happen.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Shit's gonna go down.

[Kristin Cavallari]

We are not perfect.

[Stephanie Beagle]

We're not perfect.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So I just think that's important.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I love that. No, and I think, like, I do think, like, leading, remembering that every day, because I do feel like, you know, as a perfectionist, not knowing what I'm doing and not knowing if I'm doing it right is, like, wildly hard every day.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I wake up in the morning thinking about it. I go to bed thinking about it and, like, what is right? And I think, you know, we say it takes the village and, like, I'm very lucky. Lucky to have so many friends. You know, you said at the beginning, like, you didn't have friends at that time to, like, be like, what. What should I be doing? What nipple size should I be using? Like, does he drink milk at this point? Like, how do I feed him? Like, I mean, like, truly, like, the questions that I ask my people, but it's also feeling. I try to sit in the confidence of, like, no one knows what they're doing.

[Stephanie Beagle]

No one knows, literally.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And every baby and every. Every human's dip. We're all different. Right? No one knows what they're doing. I try my best, and I try to be, like, thoughtful, intuitive. I look at this man and I'm like, I love to call him a man. Sir Oliver. I'm like, I've got you. You know, like, we'll figure it out together. And, like, that perfectionist mentality. Like, no one.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Let it go.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No one knows what they're doing.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Listen, if Oliver feels your love, he's good.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You're winning. You're killing it, you know?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Okay.

[Stephanie Beagle]

No, it's going to be mic drop.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Okay, we're done. I've got this. Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Truly, I think at the end of the day, like, Oliver doesn't know if everything's perfect.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Totally.

[Stephanie Beagle]

He just knows how you make him feel.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And, oh, another thing that I. I've learned, too, and this is important to me, when you first see your kids, whether it's in the morning, when they first wake up coming home from school, he's not there yet. But whatever it is, it's full, undivided attention for at least 10 minutes. Warm, inviting. Hey, how are you? Present, present.

[Kristin Cavallari]

10.

[Stephanie Beagle]

First thing in the morning, I give them big hut. I mean, you get him out of.

[Kristin Cavallari]

His crib, like, totally.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But, like, having that. That connection when you first re. Enter together is really important. That's how. That's what kids remember, how they feel when they're with you. Not if they're filet mignon.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right. I was gonna say. I'm definitely be pissed work to feed my kids. What you feed them.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Oh, my God.

[Kristin Cavallari]

So true, though. It's so true.

[Stephanie Beagle]

They. They remember if they're loved.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Not crying, I swear. Just joking. I'm articulate. Hello, Oliver.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Let's talk about what babies do to a relationship. Because it's so hard on a relationship. Everyone I know.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No one talks about it.

[Stephanie Beagle]

No one Talks about it. Babe.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, how are you and David Strauss?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, God, I love that man. And getting to be on this journey with him is. There's no one else I would rather be on the journey, but it's a freaking journey.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I think for me, I love connection. It's hard to find time for each other. So, like. Okay. Hard to find time for myself. Yeah, hard to find time for each other. We, you know, teach their own. But we built into our system, if you will, at this point, based on his schedule, my schedule, we try to do one date night a week. It sounds, like, so simple. His schedule, it's so important. And I, like, look forward to it. I need it. Right. I feel like we go to dinner and we look at videos and pictures of Oliver, and I'm like, how's your day? What else? Yeah, like, tell me anything else. Like, I think we try, but, like, yeah, it's hard. It's like, this is. This is what we have in. Correct. But I think it's. It's wildly challenging, right? And I think, like, people always talk, like, as you get older, like, you know, making choices, learning how to, you know, learning how to. To navigate all of the things that are gonna come as he gets older. Like, right now, it's still really, really challenging. And I think, again, part of the. Like, we met later in life, like, I'm still getting to, like, adventure, love, know, connect with my own husband. So I'm like, we have to figure out a way to, like, keep that going. Right? I'm always tired.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, I wanna go to bed. Like, we watch a show, he falls asleep. He pretends he's not sleeping. It's fine. I'm like, hello. Like, wake up. But I. I do think it's like, being a mom is one of the hardest jobs. And, like, staying wildly present, connected, and showing up for your partner, if you're doing it with someone else is. Is a challenge that I feel every day.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It's really hard.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And I always found, too, like, we talked about this earlier, but, like, the resentment that builds sometimes of, like, I'm doing more than you. Like, you're never around. Like, you don't appreciate me.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yes. Like, why don't you talk about how I, like, feed, do bait? You know, like, hello, like, have you noticed? And not doing, like, the tit for tat. I'm like, I know. You know, like, I'm gonna go work out. Like, and you ask me what time I'm coming home. Like, does it matter? Like, I Was with him for seven. Like, don't play that. I know, I know, but it's. I think a lot of people feel this, and I think it's. It's okay. And I think it's part of growth. I think communicating and being like, wow. I know another. No other way, but to be, like, wildly honest. But I also don't want to sit and talk about it all the time too.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right, Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, that's not sexy.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

And I'm like, you didn't appreciate me. Right, Right. Like, did. You know?

[Stephanie Beagle]

But in turn, if any husband was like, hey, babe, I see how much you're doing. Like, then you'd be like, now I'm turned on.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Now I'm literally gonna be like, do. I'll have sex with you every night if you literally. You just say that to me.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I'm like, it's actually pretty simple what we women need, you know?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I really do believe that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I do, too.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's like, men just appreciate it, like, just a little.

[Stephanie Beagle]

A little bit, because then we'll do whatever the.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Whatever you want. I literally. My new thing is. I like my new thing. I've probably been doing this for five years, but I keep saying to him, I'm like, just like, tell me how great I am. Like, it's really not that hard. Or, like, buy me a present. Or, like, tell me how good I am. But, like, truly, like, I used to be, like, I'm not looking for. For that. I don't need you to tell me that I'm amazing. I. I totally need you to tell me that I'm amazing. Especially in this vignette.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yep.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Where I don't feel full confidence in this new role that I've taken on. I don't feel like I'm giving. I don't feel like I'm excelling at any of the pillars that I care about.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right, right, right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'm like, just, like, come home and acknowledge, Like. And I. I really do believe that that will go a very long way.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It would go a long way also, like, well, to your point, too, like, a little acknowledgement. Just get a card and write a simple little card. It takes you two minutes. Get some flowers on the way home.

[Kristin Cavallari]

He told me, like, I'm, like, seven days ago at 4:00'. Clock. No, I'm kidding. But he told me recently. He's like, you're such a good mom. And I was like, I think I can take that little acknowledgment with me, and I can run with that for, like, Many days. And I don't think I'm gonna get mad at you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Exactly. No, exactly.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'm gonna pocket that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know it's simple shit, but, like, hello, let's communicate. Tell me you appreciate me.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That's it.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I think that's why a lot of divorces happen.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was gonna say, like, this is. You know what? You're all welcome. This is like if you. Therapy. If you need a little therapy. But it's true. It's like, those little things, I do think, especially in these chapters, I think they matter a lot more and they go both ways. Like, I really do try to say to him instead of harping on the things that I feel like he could do better or do differently. He is so present, and he is the best dad. And while there are things that I could harp on, and I do feel like sometimes I'm alone and being a mom is just different than being a dad. No matter way you shake it. I try to say to him too, the way that you father our child is incredible.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Which is so important, by the way, because there's a lot of dads that think because they're physically there, they're a great dad and they're showing up and it's so much more.

[Kristin Cavallari]

So much more than that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

We talked about it earlier, though. Like, when someone tells me that their husband's babysitting, I'm like, no, no, no, I can't. Like, what is.

[Stephanie Beagle]

No, I can't. Oh, you mean he's being a. His father?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, you. You mean he's home tonight being a dad?

[Stephanie Beagle]

He's with his kids.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yes.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I've always said a man will appreciate you when you leave them alone for the weekend with their kids. No babysitters. That's the only way they're gonna appreciate everything they do.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Literally.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I'm going on a girls trip.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Bye. Maybe I'll try. Maybe I'll check it, get it.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And you can't prep everything for him. You can't, like, literally let him do what you do.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's like. And also, that's why we have girlfriends. I'm like, okay. Like, I will continue to tell you every day that you're an incredible. But, like, just say it. Just.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Just say it. Men take notes.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Man is listening to this.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No, but you never know.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You know? Well, okay.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It doesn't matter. I was gonna say. Yeah, say that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Sorry.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And it doesn't matter.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, actually, men should listen to this.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'll tell the men. Go grab your men.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I'll tell the men.

[Kristin Cavallari]

When I Women Men Total Adult Total Adult Podcast.

[Stephanie Beagle]

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[Kristin Cavallari]

Ooh, I hate this. I'm kidding. I try to. It takes a little work but I try to prioritize, you know, keeping my workouts every morning. I am work. I am a working mom. It means a lot to me. I feel wildly fulfilled by doing that work and having my brain work in that way. So I have my own solo consultancy and I get to be flexible with my schedule, but I get to do this work that makes me, I swear, a better mom at the end of the day. Right? Yep. You know that I lean into all the wellness. I had 30 minutes in the sauna. I try to do it every day. I read the sauna every day. I try. This is, remember, like, try. But it's because that 30 minutes quiet.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It's like I throw it up in.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like a really weird clip. Yeah, no, I actually, maybe I need to turn it higher. But regardless, like, I sweating. I sweat, but like, I throw my hair into like a schmooky. Up high. But I took that 30 minutes. I don't have any, any 30 minutes like that in my entire life and in my day. And it's like, I leave it. I'm like, I did something good for myself. So workout 30 minutes on. I. I, you know, I think that's it.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But that's important.

[Kristin Cavallari]

But it's. It's important. Those are rituals.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah, for sure. I used to have to. There was a phase in my life where I had to wake up at 5, 5am to work out in my garage because that was the only window I had. It was when I was very cavalier. Like, I just was so busy. So if I didn't do it, I wouldn't have been able to do it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Totally. But how important is that? And it sets your entire.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I think it honestly saved me during that phase of my life.

[Kristin Cavallari]

100%.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right. And you make those, like, tweaks or those adjustments. I also, I'm very lucky and I don't take it for granted, but my parents, Oliver's grandparents, come on every Saturday for a few hours. And I like, I love my parents, but that is their time with him. And I, you know, 17 errands, brunch with a friend. Like, I'll walk on the street alone, just smiling, you know, like. And honestly. Yeah. Just to have a minute. And honestly, I do shit like this. I get to show up and be with my best friend for 24 hours. Luckily, Oliver has, you know, we have an amazing support system. But, like, this is the stuff that I know if I don't do. Like, that's where I start to lose myself. And I start to think about, like, all the things that I like missing. So I just prioritize it and I figure out a way to. To. To do it. And I know how important it is to me and getting this time with, like, people I love, you know, well.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And I think that's important to acknowledge as well, because I think for so many moms, it's like No, I do it all myself. And I don't have help. And you don't get a medal.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You do not get a medal.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, everyone should be leaning on people where they can, whether it's family or hired help or whatever it is, because, again, it makes you a better mom.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Totally.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Everyone needs a break.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Everybody. I don't care who the hell you are. Even if you were born to be a mom and you thrive, and this is. I don't care. Everyone needs a break.

[Kristin Cavallari]

100 feel like themselves 9,000% right. And I. And I do recognize that not everyone has the same support system or the ability to. To lean into that. But, like, figure out. Figure out a way to get those moments for yourself. And it takes. Yeah, I was gonna say it takes the village. And, like, you have to build your village, and you have to, like, I. From the beginning, you know, I remember that weird again moment of, like, people being like, oh, he's already. You have babysitters or it. I'm like, yeah, like, I need to protect all of the things that are important to me and my relationship and me as a human to show up for that man every day as the best version of myself. And part of that is getting babysitters, you know, And I. And I balance out. Yeah. Like, there's a cost to it, you know, Like. And again, I don't take any of that for granted, but I. That time is invaluable to me to be able to, like, do that all. Whatever else I need to do to stay full and fulfilled and so that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You don't end up resenting Oliver.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God. That's my. That is, babe. Like, that's my biggest fear. Taking out your stuff. Ever project that on him? Exactly. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Pick up on energy.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right? That is. That is wild.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yep.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I make, like, a sad face now, and he looks at me and he's like, yeah, like, don't cry, babe. I'm fine.

[Stephanie Beagle]

They do.

[Kristin Cavallari]

They pick up.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You know what? Also, too, I've been learning is, like, they pick up everything in your stomach, too.

[Kristin Cavallari]

What?

[Stephanie Beagle]

And now I'm like, what was I thinking and feeling when all my kids were in my stomach? I'm like, did I fuck them up?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Wait, that's.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah, my hypnotherapist told me this. Actually on the podcast, she said it's like, there's not, like, baby and you. It's.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's one. You are one. I know.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I'm like, the knowledge I have today, I'm like, I kind of wish I could go back and redo it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That I. That I think about it all the time when you were. When you were that. But again, the more, you know, is it always, like, true? I mean, people ask me to send you. I don't know if you've ever seen it, and I honestly don't know if you would still be best friends with me after. But I created. Oh, no. I curated a Google document with 17 tabs of all of, like, you know, everyone has their favorite swaddle. Like, everyone has, you know, their favorite diaper pill. That doesn't smell, though. They all smell like shit.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But I. I like the diaper Genie. Notice. Yeah, Perfect.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Okay, babe. I took in all this information from all of my friends in my community, my village, and I curated and aggregated into a document. And if you open it, you're like, she needs help. But it felt like before I had Oliver, I felt, like, educated and informed to make whatever decision I wanted to. And now I think I'm probably gonna, like, download it, have people pay for it. I'll donate all the money to charity. Like, literally, it's like it just sits there. And I sometimes send it to people. I'm like, don't judge. But it's like, listen, like, having those tools, that education, some of it is too much. Or everyone thinks that, like, their. Their knowledge is fact. I never say that. I'm like, I curated this list for you, and then I have some favorites, and I think it's helpful. But I do think back in the day when you were mom, like, the fact that you didn't have all that flooding in at you, that. Yeah, maybe it's a lot simpler. It's a lot simpler times, right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

That's true.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, our parents, they weren't like, they didn't have Jack. Worried about all this, that I. You know what?

[Stephanie Beagle]

I was never a worrying. I was like, germs. I don't give a. Eat the dirt off the floor.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, I never sprinkle a little protein in there. Dirt off the floor, babe. No, and I. That's. I think there is something to be said about.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I agree with that.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You know?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah. Now I'm like, hyper friends, though, that were, like, sanitizing everything. And then I was just like, oh, my God, like, what?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I just, like, immune system. Well, I just think about even us now, you know, it's like everyone has allergies. Like, you just you. I. I just want to do what's best for him. And if there is information out there to help me, you know, Give him the best life today and in the future. It's like, well, I can't ignore that, right? But then I'm like, it's a lot.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It's information overload. And our whole world is.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was gonna say with the products.

[Stephanie Beagle]

That's great because, like, people will even ask me, and I'm like, bro, I've been out of the baby game for so long.

[Kristin Cavallari]

All the clean products that are out there, like, there's. There's some amazing, right? And that way, like, I. I recognize and celebrate that. But it's still a lot.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It's still, like, information overload for sure.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Being thrown at you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And at the end of the day, they're all going to be okay.

[Kristin Cavallari]

They're all going to be okay.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Doesn't matter what you do. They're all going to be.

[Kristin Cavallari]

We were talking about that earlier, too, because even me, I was like, oliver's not moving. And everyone said he has to do XYZ by 4. It's like they're even changing now, which, like, gives me. I'm like, oh, okay. They're changing a lot of the benchmarks because those benchmarks, like, really fuck with you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Because everyone's different.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Because everyone's different and, like. And they're all going to be okay, right? Like, your baby doesn't talk today. They'll talk tomorrow. Maybe they're s. Spots. Maybe they. Yeah, maybe they. Maybe they don't have anything to see right now, right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

This is a big world. They're just taking it all.

[Kristin Cavallari]

But also, I'm saying this all to you, and I was, like, totally psycho about, like, everything. Like, he's. He was a. He was a big man and he just, like. It was harder to get that body moving.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah, he was just fine. He's fine.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's okay.

[Stephanie Beagle]

How are you as a mom? Are you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, babe, why don't you tell me? I mean.

[Stephanie Beagle]

No, I'm kidding.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Don't ask my husband this question. Yeah, please finish.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Phone a friend. Phone a friend. Are you. Do you worry about, or are you kind of laid back?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I wouldn't use the words laid back, per se. I don't know if I would, like. I wouldn't use those as my leading words to describe myself. I would say I'm not. I don't think I'm a full worrier or, like, totally nervous all the time, but I do feel like I am. Yeah, I'm just. No, I'm. I'm really trying to think about it. I don't think. I think it just goes back to like, the, the not knowing, it just doesn't sit well with me.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You want to get.

[Kristin Cavallari]

So I'm very organized. I'm very. I love, like, you know, reading, learning. But I like, I think I'm. I think I'm like, middle of the road.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Okay. Okay, I like that.

[Kristin Cavallari]

So, like, I think, I think I have room for. To grow in terms of my, like, laid backness. But yeah, I don't.

[Stephanie Beagle]

The first one's also hard too, because it's like you're figuring this out as you go. That's like, that part is.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That part is. I like, I. I do believe if this was like my son, you know, my second, I think I would be like, okay, I've got this a little bit more. But I do think that I not worry. But I think I'm always. I question a lot. Like, did I do that right? Is this the right time to do so? And then I ask a lot of questions to the people around me and. Which is fine. And then I come back to myself and I'm like, what do you think? Talk to myself.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Well, good. No, that's good. Because that's the thing. Everyone has an opinion. And again, I think only the mom knows best.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Totally. Yes. Like, trusting my intuition and my gut, I'm working on as well. It's all a work in progress, babe. But I do think I. I try to be as. Even like you said it. Like, I know that he feeds off my energy and he's like, a little wild right now. So I'm like, Stephanie Beagle.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You have to stay calm because maybe.

[Kristin Cavallari]

He'S wild because you're wild. Like, we don't really know.

[Stephanie Beagle]

They mirror our nervous system.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. Okay.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Well, so fucking cool. Well, so it's interesting because, like, Jackson is in sixth grade, he's 11, and he still sleeps with me. And by the way, I've He. I'm okay to talk about this on the podcast. I now have to ask them what I can or can't say on the podcast.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, that's amazing headlines.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And it's been a thing.

[Kristin Cavallari]

So he's cool with this.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So he's cool with this. So I'm not saying anything. I don't know exactly. But so. And you know, I was always. And he's always wanted for four years straight. When he was little, he was always coming in my bedroom and it was like, what the hell is going on? Kids, when they're little, they don't always know how to calm their own nervous system. So when they sleep with a parent, they can regulate with the parent. So, like, when he sleeps with me, he's out immediately. But, like, he hates being alone in his own room. And, like, totally. So it was just interesting that kids really do mirror you. It's your energy, your nervous system. It's the whole thing, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

And then now, like, I think it's. I actually think it's the most magical thing in the world. But I remember, like, everyone being, like, don't let them sleep in your bed, because then they'll sleep. Keep sleeping in their bed. But I'm also, like, really jealous of your cuddles. So.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I mean, listen, I think, like, I never, like, co. Slept with Jackson, like, ever.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That's actually the craziest thing. What age?

[Stephanie Beagle]

And when he would come in my room every night, it was probably when he could. When he finally got out of his crib and he could walk. So I think, like, a year and a half for four. Four or four or five years. I'm not kidding. Every night he came in my room. We would bring him back sometimes. But I'd be so fucking tired half the time, right? You're like, get in. I don't. Okay. He's always had fomo. Like, he hates.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was gonna say he has. He has, like, legit.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Oh, my God. He always has. And clearly holds true. The kid's 11. He's always been like this, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

And so I feel like he's like. He hangs longer than me. Oh, God.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And he always wants to be with his friends. Like, he cannot be alone, this kid. But then he was sharing a room with Cam for a minute, so, like, poor Camden had to take the brunt of it. And then. And then he was okay on his own for a while, but then.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I don't know.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Since I've been in this house. No, I say that my last house, since my divorce, he's basically been.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was gonna say.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And there was a period where I was like, okay, guys, him and Sailor, we used to switch off nights.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That's what I was gonna. I didn't know if that was approved by Sailor, so I didn't want to bring that up.

[Stephanie Beagle]

She doesn't sleep with me anymore, so it's approved.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Okay.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So they used to switch off nights. And then at one point, I was like, you guys, I can't do this. Like, I also need my own bed, right? Like, I think after I got them more, I was like, guys, I can't every night, right? But, like, it's. Jackson has weaseled his way back in every night.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I. Like, there was I remember, like, sleeping over one. I don't want a near old house. And, like, I saw him with his, like, blank was, like, sneaking in with his blanket, and I was like, I see you. Like, he's like, good night. Like, it's so. It's honestly, like, it's so special.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I love it. Because he's in middle school, there's gonna be a day where he wants nothing to do with me. I don't believe that.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was gonna say, I'm not sure about that one, but he'll never want.

[Stephanie Beagle]

To sleep with me once he hits puberty. Yeah, maybe he won't want to sleep with me. Maybe. Okay, so I know what's coming to, Like, Like, I couldn't pay Camden to sleep with me.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I know. And, like, I would. Like, I would love to call him. What's gonna say.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know. Cam's like, you sleep with Mom.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, right. I was gonna say, he gives him.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And then. But it was cute when they would switch off. I'm like, camden, do you want to just get involved in this?

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'm surprised some nights when we get home that, like, David doesn't, like, get in the crib with Oliver. But, like, I'm sure there'll be a night. So stay tuned.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Has he ever slept with you guys?

[Kristin Cavallari]

No. Like, there's been a couple nights, like, where he would wake up in the middle of the night, we'll bring him in, and he doesn't even, like, I'm like, lay, lay with party time time. No. Now he's starting to get a little bit more cuddly. Like, we'll do, like, you know, snack time, or we'll sit on the couch for, like, you know, seven to 12 minutes. Because that's, like, the increments. We're going on a very hard side tangent, but very important because I just need the world to know that I'm like, if we want to talk about anxious, I'm anxious. We're taking him on an airplane. He hasn't been on an airplane in a while.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It was a tough age right now for an airplane.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Not the best age for an airplane.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And, like, listen, everyone can judge. You know, you do you Florida in January. And, like, truly this age, like, he doesn't sit still. He does every thing for 7 to.

[Stephanie Beagle]

11 landing at this age. Good.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Okay. Thank you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

A pack of Band Aids was a lifesaver for my kids because my kids used to love opening up every Band Aid and, like, putting them on.

[Kristin Cavallari]

So, like, stick. Like. Like, stickers. It's a modern day sticker, but bandaids, band aids. I will take any recommendations. And obviously everyone has different opinions on screen time. Like, I'm. I need to survive and I need to get there.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Time on planes, I think is a.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Okay, totally. But I just want you to know that, like, there will be a, you know, a moment where I'm like, oh, right. Like three and a half hours to Florida divided by seven minutes. Like, what are we. How are we going to survive?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Your nervous system.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Okay.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So it picks up on your energy.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Cool. I'm gonna do like.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I remember, actually, I think it was when we moved to Nashville full time. I was. Jay drove with the boys and I flew a sailor because she was a year and a half so similar to Oliver. It's only an hour flight, takeoff and landing. She's screaming because of her ears and her.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No, because she had to sit in her. Yeah, great. Yeah. She would have.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You were restraining her. Oh, my.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, it's gonna be fine. They don't understand.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Understand it at that age.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Someone said to me the other day, like. And I was like, no, no. Like, right. He doesn't. It's not like I could be like, hey, dude, like, this is the time when we lay on the plate, you know, he would look at me. But I remember, I think, like, someone said to me. I mean, there was. We took him like, maybe six months and he cried for what I think was 10 minutes. I thought that that kid was crying for four hours. Like, the worst. I felt my insides. Like, I, like, looked at David and I feel like he's way, way more calm. And I wouldn't even say, like, laid back. Just, you know, his nervous system and mine, very different. Yeah. It's more regulated. He doesn't have an aura ring, so we're not sure we'll follow up with you on that. But, like, I swear to you, babe, like, those minutes, like, I'm like, please. Like, I remember, like, the worst talking in my head to him, being like.

[Stephanie Beagle]

If you love me. Like, no, Literally, just like, stop. God, if you're real. No, but it's knowing you feel like everyone is.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Everyone's looking at you. Everyone hates you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And so now when I'm on a plane with a mom that has a crying baby, I have so much empathy.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Is like, we've all been there. Like, babe, like, I know it's off. Like, no.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Right? You can't treat them like, like the villain.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Oh, my God.

[Kristin Cavallari]

There's nothing where you're stuck.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You're, like, trapped the one time I only had, like, one, like, really bad flight that I remember it was Camden. And he was the best baby, but he was little and he didn't feel well. And we were going from Chicago to la. This kid was crying and crying. He had projectile vomit all over me, all over him, all over the plane. He's crying. I did not have a change of clothes for him or me. I usually was, babe, so good at this. Nothing, just puke.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You just sat there in his puke.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Just smelled like. And the flight attendant was, like, trying to. They have, like, some powder they can put on it, I guess didn't matter. And just cry. He's crying the whole big landing.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Okay, maybe we should have talked about this because, like, I would say that my anxiety isn't lower than when it. When we started talking about this. So thank you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

It was. He. He was so, so sick. Yeah, but I didn't know he was this.

[Kristin Cavallari]

He, like, got sick right on the plane. That's so. I feel like everyone has that story of, like, explosive, like, you know, poop. Or I'm like, okay, yeah, like, Target.

[Stephanie Beagle]

One time with sailor up her back. I. Again, no, I usually always. Babe, no change of clothes all up her back. I took her and it was on the way to Target. I still took her and went shopping. Babe. I didn't give a.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You went shopping?

[Stephanie Beagle]

We went shopping with. Smelling like.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Did you buy her a. New clothes? Probably. I love that you're like, I always was prepared, but, like, these two times.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Were the two most traumatic times.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Said something though, that, like, it's not triggering to me, but it's something that I like to talk a lot about with friends. Is like, everyone. It's the same way when people say, like, you know, don't ask someone if they're pregnant or if they're trying. Right? Like, hello. Hi. Right. Yeah. And then the craziest. I feel like I talked about this you a ton. But, like, in the first three months of, you know, his life, everyone's like, is he sleeping? I'm like, fuck off right now. And now. And now everyone's like, is he a good baby? And I. And I get really, like, I just want to normalize. Maybe not asking that question because, like, what is a good baby?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, oh, and by the way, with the first, you have no.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'm like, I don't know. Like, I'm like, what am I giving? Am I giving him a gold? Like, what. What do we rate? What's the scale? What are we rating this on? Right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, Camden Now I know after having two more. Camden was the best baby, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

So I actually thought he was hard.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Because he was my first. Like, Right, you don't know.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You don't know. And I just, like, it makes me feel like, in. Like, am I a bad. Like, what if I say, like, I tell you he's complicated. Like, he's. He's a baby.

[Stephanie Beagle]

He's a baby, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, he cries. He, like, doesn't love putting on his jacket. Like, he went through a stage where he hated putting out his diaper, and he would walk around and, like, pull it off and then, you know, pee all over the floor. It was great. Like, does that make him a bad baby? I'm just not sure.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right, right, right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

So, like, I just, like, I love to, like, when people ask that I, like, give them dirty looks, typically. And then I'm like, what does that mean? And then maybe, like, don't ask me that. And then I smile and I'm like, he's a fun man. Like, leave me alone.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Leave me alone. I know, you're right. I like, that's a good point. Stop asking us if our babies.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Is he a good baby? Like, am I gonna keep. Yeah, I love him.

[Stephanie Beagle]

How about him?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. Like, I'm gonna keep him.

[Stephanie Beagle]

And I know he's horrible.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, he's the worst. Like, do people actually. Like, I actually would love to meet someone who is like, he's terrible.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Well, I'll tell you what. Jackson was a really hard baby. And I have someone for you. But by the way. And that made me go. God, Cameron was really good.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was gonna say it made you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Appreciate, you know, but Jackson was. What?

[Kristin Cavallari]

What? Like, give me an example. Now I'm, like, doing. Now I'm reading. Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Jackson had really bad eczema, so I think he was always uncomfortable. So the kid was always unhappy, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, he was like, he would only.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Take 30 minute naps. I'd be like, Oliver only takes 30 minutes. He did.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And then we. Now that's.

[Stephanie Beagle]

That was.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That was not my favorite. That was not. He couldn't, like, Okay. I don't actually know. He couldn't connect his sleep cycle. I would pee, like, yeah, maybe like, stare at my pimples in the mirror. Like, I mean, I would do the weirdest things because I knew I had, like, like 28 minutes or whatever it was because, like. And he wasn't connecting to sleep. And like, that, babe. Oh, my God. Everyone's like, yeah, he'll grow. Or, hey, maybe he won't be a good nap. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, he has to. Once we drop to one nap. Again, like, I didn't know what I was doing.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Once we dropped, we dropped.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Now he takes like a two hour nap, but I wait. When he wakes up, I'm like, you're a good man.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But, babe, those 30 minute naps, it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Was three 30 minute naps.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I'd be like, no matter what, this isn't this kid.

[Kristin Cavallari]

This doesn't work.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Jackson had FOMO. He was like, ready?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Wait. Actually, yeah. He's like, 30 minutes. Come with me. I took a power down. Wait. Babe, I'd never thought about that. That's like, for him, it was fomo. Oliver, I don't know. He was like, terrorizing me. It's fine. Maybe he was being a bad man.

[Stephanie Beagle]

He was being bad.

[Kristin Cavallari]

He was being bad.

[Stephanie Beagle]

But that's the thing. Everyone's different.

[Kristin Cavallari]

The eczema, right?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, you're like, he was uncomfortable and he just would throw fits.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And they can't tell you how they're feeling.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Right. It was just hard. Sailor also can throw a fit with the best of them. But Sailor's me. She's payback. Oh, that's the other thing. When you have kids, you finally appreciate your parents.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God. I, like, I don't even think I say it enough, but I'm like, I get you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I feel so bad.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I see you.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I know, mom, you're at the.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Juicers is the best. Momo. We call Monica Momo. Momo. If. If she ever listens to this, she wanted to be called. Are you ready?

[Stephanie Beagle]

Yes.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Have I told you?

[Stephanie Beagle]

I think I know this, but so.

[Kristin Cavallari]

My mom, you know how, like, you know, a lot of grandparents, they come up with their own. Yeah. They have their names right. They're not just, like, necessarily, Grandpa, Grandma. Fine. I feel like a lot of times the kids come up with the names because they can't say it, whatever. But Momo, AKA my mother, came in one day and she was like, I've got it. We're like, okay. She's like, I want Oliver to call me Sugar.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

We're like, mom, I can't. Like, can you imagine? It's like a little bit like a stripper, like, porn star. And can you imagine Oliver being like, come over, Sugar.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, I'm excited.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I can't wait to see Sugar.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I cannot. So we said, like, how'd you say no?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Kindly. We said no. We said, no. We're like, come up with a name that, like, Oliver can say that isn't like. He's like.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like a sexual porn star.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God. So just so you know, Sugar. Sometimes my friends will call her Sugar. I. So good. But. Oh, my God. Shout out to Sugar.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Shout out.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Shout out to Sugar.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Love you, Suge.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And just to make it worse, like, now Oliver's like, like. Says Pops way more my. And my mom's like, oliver, like, it's.

[Stephanie Beagle]

About me because it's easier.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's way easier. And Momo and Mama are very. I'm like, mom, could you have come up with a name that maybe isn't the same as, like, Mom? Here we are.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Well, I don't even know the kids.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I think.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I think it's just Grandma. Or I think she. I think Judy's grandma.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. I was gonna say, we don't need Jude's fancy. Judy will be anything.

[Stephanie Beagle]

She's the best.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I love her so much.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Oh, shout out to the mom.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Shout out to moms.

[Stephanie Beagle]

One of the best moms on the planet.

[Kristin Cavallari]

We are so lucky. A thousand percent so, so lucky. And it really makes, like. Yeah, it makes such a difference. And I do really try to. I think about all the things for me, like, growing up, like, they always, always told me that they love me. And we. Every day after, how was your day? And I would get really annoyed with them. And now I'm like, oh, my God.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You get it now, Oliver.

[Kristin Cavallari]

We will do that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You get it now.

[Kristin Cavallari]

We'll do that.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Oh, this is also another little tip, so. And this is. You can bank for the future.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was like, you've been holding out on me.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So when they come home from school, you know, it's like the classic thing. Like, how was your day? Good. Like, it's, like, so hard to get a talk right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And they, like, hate it.

[Stephanie Beagle]

They're, like, so annoyed. So what I've started doing is asking them a random ass question. Like, the other day, I was like, who pissed you off today?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, I'm.

[Stephanie Beagle]

What was the word? Like.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And they were excited to answer. Yeah.

[Stephanie Beagle]

So then they're like, oh. And then they think about it and they tell you. So instead of just being robotic, how is it?

[Kristin Cavallari]

How is it? Tell me about your day.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Make them think of, like. Like, what?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Ha.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Like, give me the tea. Wow.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You know, babe, I love that. Yeah, I'm gonna start. I'll start writing my questions down in advance so that I'm ready. By the time Oliver's like, yeah, I'm gonna be so pretty.

[Stephanie Beagle]

10 years.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I love. Honestly, can you not hold back on any of those, like, other secrets, Giving you all the nuggets, all the secrets. I love it.

[Stephanie Beagle]

I love you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I love you so much.

[Stephanie Beagle]

You are the best. It's always so fun having you on the pod. And we're about to go have a dinner party.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, we are. We're gonna go drink some Cheerio, Dolly. Cheers.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Please note that this episode may contain.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Individuals on the show may have a.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Direct or indirect financial interest in products.

[Stephanie Beagle]

Or services referred to in this episode.