Do I Want to Makeout With This Person? With Justin Anderson

Summary

Let’s Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari

Episode: "Do I Want to Makeout With This Person?"
Guest: Justin Anderson
Release Date: October 21, 2025
Host: Kristin Cavallari

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Overview

In this candid, laughter-filled episode, Kristin Cavallari sits down with her best friend and longtime confidant, Justin Anderson, for a wide-ranging (and often hilarious) deep dive into her current dating life, returning to the "Laguna Beach" reunion, and the challenges of finding real connection post-divorce. The pair get honest about attraction, what they want in relationships, and how age, location, and emotional intelligence factor into dating. Listeners are treated to their unfiltered banter, lots of playful teasing, and moments of real introspection as Kristin reveals her hope, excitement, and nerves about new romantic chapters.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Reunion Vibes & Personal Growth

• Kristin talks about attending the "Laguna Beach" reunion and the cathartic experience it provided, despite her initial reluctance:
  • “I didn’t want to do it. And I’m really, really happy that I did… it was healing in a lot of ways, very therapeutic.” (00:23 – 01:20, Kristin)
• Justin expresses how the passage of time has deepened their friendship and allowed them both to "gel," making them the kind of friends who could actually live together but still maintain independence. (03:57 – 04:36)

Real Estate, Home Life, and Friendship

• The pair riff on Kristin's house, landscaping costs, and living arrangements, with Justin joking he’d love to buy land next to Kristin just to "be around you at all times." (03:25 – 04:29, Justin)
  • Playful banter about moving in, “It would just be my absolute dream to, like, live in your butthole, basically.” (03:25, Justin, teasing)
• Their rapport demonstrates the depth and comfort of their friendship, emphasizing understanding personal boundaries and compatibility.

Dating Intentions & Listening to Intuition

• Kristin opens up about intentionally taking a long break from dating to focus on herself, her kids, and her podcast tour.
• The duo discuss manifesting romance—Kristin describes literally asking the universe for a date, and almost magically getting set up with a high-profile coach through her agent soon after. (05:43 – 07:10)
• Physical chemistry is crucial: Kristin says her litmus test is, "Do I want to make out with this person?" She emphasizes that, while conversation and learning from people are important, the desire for physical connection is rare and non-negotiable for her. (09:30 – 10:04)
  • “It’s so rare that I want to have sex with someone.” (09:48, Kristin)

The Realities of Dating Apps

• Kristin explains why she deleted Raya, the celebrity dating app, citing lack of real connection and the abundance of narcissistic behaviors, especially among the “best looking guys” who don’t ask questions or engage in meaningful conversation. (16:29 – 20:17)
  • “Not one thing. Such a red flag for me with dating with men is like… you actually have to have a little back and forth and ask a couple questions.” (19:39 – 20:10, Kristin)
• She details the mechanics of properly deleting a Raya account and how misunderstandings about app activity lead to celebrity rumors.

Shifting Preferences & Age Ranges

• Kristin sets her age preference on dating apps higher—to 50—and finds more appealing options:
  • "A lot of the guys in that 45 to 50 range were actually better looking than, like, the 40 to 45 range." (17:46 – 17:55, Kristin)
  • Justin agrees that this slightly older demographic is typically more established and fits Kristin's “weathered real man” type. (18:03 – 18:12)

A Real-Life Romantic Plot Twist

• Kristin shares the story about meeting ‘Billy’ at an Oasis concert in LA—a serendipitous in-person encounter with a man she’d originally met in 2008 at Coachella (but completely forgot!). This time, they reconnect, exchange numbers, and spark a deep emotional connection quickly. (24:12 – 26:40 / 36:28 – 37:15)
  • “He had my number in his phone… from like, literally 2008. How crazy is that?” (36:57, Kristin)
  • They discuss the 'red string theory'—the belief that certain soul connections are destined to return, regardless of time and distance. (37:28 – 38:39)

Reluctance About Long-Distance and Children

• Kristin is realistic about the practical challenges of new romance:
  • Billy lives in LA, wants kids (which she definitely doesn’t), and has a life rooted on the West Coast.
  • She’s honest about not wanting the responsibility of changing someone’s mind about kids. (38:39 – 39:14, 41:30 – 42:03)
• They reflect on the ideal partnership at this life stage: two stable people with established careers, flexibility, emotional intelligence, and no urge to “change” each other.

The Emotional Labor of Dating

• Justin addresses the reality that guys can get very attached to Kristin quickly, and that she feels genuine empathy when things don’t work out:
  • “It really eats at you… And I’m the one who’s constantly saying… just say you’re not into it, you know, but you’re like, I can’t. I feel really bad.” (40:54 – 41:13, Justin)
• They agree breakup conversations are hard but necessary.

Online vs. Organic Connections

• Kristin asserts she’s manifesting meeting someone organically, "in the wild," outside of dating apps.
  • She notes a positive shift, seeing more "hot guys in Tennessee" after changing her mindset to abundance. (22:34 – 23:14)

Open-Mindedness & Moving Beyond Stereotypes

• Kristin is set up on a date with a man who previously DMed her on Raya; her friend vouches for his quality, reminding her to be open even to those who don’t seem “her type” at first glance. (44:26 – 47:00)
• She dislikes the “clean cut” stereotype and gravitates towards those who challenge and stimulate her.

Dating at This Stage of Life

• Both agree that, post-divorce and with clarity about her needs, Kristin can (and should) take her time, date multiple people, and hold out for magic:
  • “Sorry. F*cking sue me. I’ve waited this long. It’s gonna be pure magic.” (54:08, Kristin)
• They discuss the luxury and importance of independence and self-knowledge; Kristin values not having to "check in" and appreciates this phase of her life.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On manifestation:
  “I said to the universe, I’m ready to go on a date. And the next day, I got a phone call from my agent.” (06:43, Kristin)

• On attraction:
  “For me, it’s really, like, do I want to make out with this person?” (09:46, Kristin)

• On connection vs. appearance:
  “If I saw them on a dating app, I would not have liked them like that… Personality can make someone really attractive.” (10:32, Kristin)

• On dating app pitfalls:
  “Not one thing. Such a red flag… If you’re on f*cking Raya… you have to have a little back and forth and ask a couple questions.” (20:03, Kristin)

• On fate and timing:
  “The red string theory… that invisible string that keeps you together… maybe you meet early and it doesn’t work out, and you come back…” (37:28, Kristin)

• On boundaries and independence:
  “I don’t have to answer to anyone. I don’t have to, like, check in at night… I’m so happy I don’t have that right now.” (48:43, Kristin)

• On dating and age:
  “Just because I went out with someone twice doesn’t mean I’m in a relationship with them. Like, that’s the point of dating… you can go out with multiple people until you are like, I actually want to be in a relationship with someone.” (52:53, Kristin)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:23 – 01:20 — Kristin on the cathartic "Laguna Beach" reunion
• 03:25 — Justin: "Live in your butthole" joke about being neighbors
• 05:43 – 07:10 — Kristin manifesting a date, first outing post-break
• 09:30 & 09:46 — "Do I want to make out with this person?" discussion
• 16:29 – 20:17 — Raya deletion mechanics & narcissists on dating apps
• 17:46 – 18:12 — Preference for older men ("weathered, real man" banter)
• 24:12 – 28:16 — "Billy" Oasis concert story & phone call reconnection
• 36:28 – 38:39 — The surprise of Billy’s old number & 'red string theory'
• 38:39 – 42:03 — “Kid talk” realities and being honest about intentions
• 44:26 – 47:00 — Set-up by friend with a Raya DM-er, opening up to new types
• 48:43 — Kristin on valuing independence as a single mom
• 52:53 – 54:08 — The reality of dating multiple people and holding out for magic

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Tone & Structure

• The episode is warm, open, and peppered with Kristin and Justin’s signature playful, sometimes sassy humor.
• There is plenty of affectionate ribbing, childhood nostalgia, and honest admissions about the high and low points of modern dating in your 30s and 40s.
• Kristin’s blend of thoughtfulness, self-awareness, and vulnerability will resonate with any listener—single, dating, or just self-reflecting.

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Conclusion

A must-listen for anyone navigating post-divorce dating, this episode is refreshingly honest, at times self-deprecating, and ultimately empowering—reminding us that attraction is both mysterious and non-negotiable, magic is possible at any age, and the right partner will only enhance, never diminish, our sense of self. Kristin’s push to manifest a real, in-person love—while refusing to settle for less than “pure magic”—sets the tone for an exciting new chapter. Listeners are left rooting for her, wanting to hear how her Friday date goes, and feeling a little braver about their own dating adventures.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dr. Media production. This is, let's be honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality tv, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Cause I got all the power.

[B]

Yep. Guess who's back. Hey.

[A]

This is the first time you've been in the podcast studio, which is crazy to me.

[B]

Yeah, I mean. I mean, I came in and peeked at it, like, as it was in the process, but I haven't seen it done. It looks so good.

[A]

You haven't taped in here yet, so.

[B]

Welcome. Thank you. I'm so happy to be back.

[A]

You know what's so funny is. So I just got back from Laguna. I filmed the Laguna beach reunion, which was awesome. So between that and now you being here, I just feel like the world is healing.

[B]

I know the world is healing.

[A]

Like, you're back on the pod. Lauren and I are friends.

[B]

I wish we could just go so deep into that. But that you got needs a whole podcast. That Laguna experience.

[A]

I know, and I don't even know what I'm allowed to say or not say, so we'll have to just.

[B]

But overall, it was very positive.

[A]

It was such a great time.

[B]

Cathartic, even.

[A]

It really. I'm not trying to be cheesy, but, like, it really was healing in a lot of ways. It was very therapeutic. And I think it's funny because if I'm being completely honest, I didn't actually want to do it and not want to do it. No, I did not want to talk.

[B]

About it so much before. You did not want to do it?

[A]

I didn't want to do it. And I'm really, really happy that I did. It was such a great experience and just a nice way, I think, to end the whole, like, Laguna beach of it all.

[B]

It wouldn't have happened if you didn't do it. Imagine.

[A]

You're sweet. It was going to happen.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. They were going to do it.

[B]

Oh, they would get like a body double.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Your clone.

[A]

They were going to have you fill in. You would actually kill it.

[B]

Oh, my God. I could. I would know all your mannerisms.

[A]

You would crush all the lines.

[B]

But I would be like 2006. Chris did. I would come in, like, ratchet, sassy as fuck. Extension showing. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

15 pounds heavier. But that's going to come out in the spring, I think. April. But TBD on that. I'll keep everyone posted. But.

[B]

So such a comfortable couch by the way.

[A]

I love that for you.

[B]

And this is, like, very, you know, like, a lot of times you do podcasts and you're so, like, stiff and rigid. Like, I'm so comfortable, bro. I'm going to hang out. You should get a TV in here. I'll come over and have, like, movie nights on my own.

[A]

You should try this chair, too, because this one's also nice.

[B]

Also, by the way, I wish that you could just do show off of this house. It's so special.

[A]

Wait, what do you mean? Well, then, show off the house. Yeah.

[B]

Like, I wish you could do, like, a. They did cribs here.

[A]

I know cribs at your last house.

[B]

You guys, this house is so magical. We're in the guest house. They're building the pool house. The pool is fantastic.

[A]

I mean, right now, though, the yard is basically just like a big mud pit, because.

[B]

An expensive mud pit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I look around, it's like, money. I know how much things cost. When you do, like, a little remodel.

[A]

Landscaping will get you. I'm like, I'm sorry, what? How much is it? But I want to show you before you leave. I want to take you in the back because they've started planting back there and it looks so pretty already.

[B]

You have to pay for all those trees and everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And yes. She owns, like, half of Tennessee. This property's so weird. It really is. Oh, my God.

[A]

No, it's. It's a big piece of property. We love it. I. I love it here. I'm very thankful, but. Okay, that's not what we're here to talk about.

[B]

Neither here nor there.

[A]

Neither here nor there. Justin, actually, I want you to buy some of my land and build.

[B]

I. We talked about that. We have, like. Like, it would just be my absolute dream to, like, live in your butthole, basically. I want to be around you at all times. But we talked about at one point, because I wanted to move further out here. That's my biggest kick me, is that when we bought our house here, they convinced me to live closer to downtown. And it's so stupid that we did that because I never go downtown. I know everything I do. I head out this way. So I wish I did out here. So at one point, we were like, oh, I'll buy a little piece of property on your property. I mean, we could still.

[A]

You could you. I mean, you could be on the other end of the property. I would never even know. You were.

[B]

I was thinking today, too, as I was driving here, excited. Just every time I see. I Get excited like a little kid, you know? But I was thinking about that if we did live together, and I was like, I'm very much. I like my privacy and stuff, but you are the kind of person. I'm not just saying this, obviously. Like, you and I are so good. Like, we know our balance, you know, when we hang out, we can be quiet together. We can gab nonstop. Then we can like, leave each other alone. We'd actually be the friends that could live on the same property. I'd maybe not see you for a few days.

[A]

It's so true. You know, like, that's why we're so good at traveling together. Because we just were always in the same energy and we just like, we just gel.

[B]

I mean, that what's. That's what makes a really good friend a good friend. Especially as you get older. You have to understand, friendships are like a dance, like a relationship. You have to, like, understand your best friend.

[A]

It's so true.

[B]

Yeah. So I'll move it next week.

[A]

Yeah. Perfect tent to start to see how you like it.

[B]

A. I was looking at motorhomes.

[A]

No, that's like the all the rage right now.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. Even my mom wanted to get them, or my mom did for a while, get a motorhome. And they like cruised around the country.

[B]

It's so genius. Scoot and I almost went and looked at him this weekend. We really want to get a big rv.

[A]

No, because then that means you'd be gone all the time. Who's driving, by the way?

[B]

Not me. Although I am such a good driver. But like, I am a passenger princess. Beyond since Scoot and I have been together. And here's the thing. I don't ever trust people to drive. But like, you know what's so funny? I really am comfortable with you driving. And I'm comfortable with Scoot. It's because I know you guys love me. You don't want to lose me. Both people, I don't trust them. I'm like, you get a car wreck. I don't trust people driving.

[A]

You're the feminine in our relationship. My passenger princess. Well, speaking of that. So we are going to talk about my dating life, which I. Shocker.

[B]

No, no. Every time you and I get together. I was going to say bringing the big dog.

[A]

Yeah. Justin, I need him for this. I don't know the last time I talked about my dating. Probably because you guys, my dating life was non existent this whole year until recently. And now it's really picked back up and I'm really Excited about it. So I really didn't date at all. The first. I don't even month or eight months of the year. Like, I really could. And I was intentional about it because leading up to the podcast tour, I didn't want any distractions. And then, honestly, it was just kind of nice. And I was just in a mode of wanting to be alone and just focus on work and kids. And then it's so funny, because I literally said to myself, I said. Or, well, myself, the universe. I said, I'm ready to go on a date. I'm ready to go on a date. And the next day, I got a phone call from my agent, who set me up with a coach. And. Which is also funny, because Patty Stanger came on my podcast and she was like, you know, you should date a. You should go out with coach.

[B]

Wait, but when you said coach, you mean like an actual.

[A]

Like a.

[B]

Because I know what you're going at. But I was. For a second, I was thinking dating coach. Like, Patty stain.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Okay.

[B]

An athletic coach. Like a professional coach of a professional team.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm not gonna say.

[B]

No, don't say his name. It's not even.

[A]

No, I'm not gonna say his name. I'm not even gonna say which sport, because I just. I know people could narrow it down, and there's just no point. But anyways, I just. And I see the big one, though. He's a big deal.

[B]

I mean, I learned that once I.

[A]

Well, me too. I didn't know who he was, but Patty Stanger was like, you should go out with coaches. And I was like, I know some of them are hot. Blah, blah, blah. And then literally, I think it was like a couple weeks after that episode aired, and I said to the universe, I'm ready to go on a date. That's what happened. I, like, manifested that into my life. So CIA, my agency. Yeah, they set it up. So he is represented at caa. I also am. And so our two agents made it happen. And he flew to Nashville. He took me to dinner. Such a great guy. Like, really, really good guy. I think what happened there was. It just wasn't right. I think, like, I know after the first date, if I. If I'm gonna like someone or not. And I was trying. Remember? I was, like, trying to make it work. And I kept talking to him, and I was gonna see him again, and then everything in me was telling me not to. And I think if you can really tune in with your body and listen to your body, as soon as I told him, hey, like, I'm not all in, you know, I think you're great. Blah, blah, blah. I felt a lot better. Like, my whole body relaxed. Remember I did that in Cabo?

[B]

Yeah, I was just gonna say. Cause you went on the date with him. We'd been talking about it. Then right after the date, you came and met Scoot and I in Cabo. And then we really talked about it. And you are so good with that. Like, you know, like, you feel it in your body. And the minute you break it off with somebody, I see you, like, change. Like, we went to dinner that night. You're like, yourself or whatever. And it wasn't because anything about him was weird. You actually really liked him as a person and everything. But, like, you can't fake it. And I think a lot of girls kind of can. Like, oh, just keep flirting with him. Cause it's funny, fun. You don't want to do that.

[A]

You know what it is? It's when I'm out of alignment, like, for what is meant for me, everything in my body screams at me. And I've just learned over the years how to, like, really trust it and tune in with it. But you know what? I think it was too, because he is such a good guy. And it's not like we didn't have a bad time. Like, I enjoyed talking to him, but I think because it was my first date in so long, I was like, oh, I should. I should, you know, try, like, really, like, give this a hundred percent. And I just. I don't know, it just wasn't right.

[B]

But when you say, like, you're looking for the immediate spark type thing, and it's not there, is it? Conversation? Like, the fun riffing back and forth, Is it being like, oh, wow, this person. I could learn a lot from this person. Or is it like, you don't want to?

[A]

So. Yeah, because I can go to dinner with anyone and have a conversation. Yeah. Like, I can talk to anyone, literally. And so, no, for me, but it. I do, like, when I can learn from people. But for me, it's really, like, do I want to make out with this person?

[B]

And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[A]

No, I mean, that's because for me, that's the hardest piece to find. Like, I can talk to anyone. I can learn from people. I think a lot of men are interesting, and I enjoy spending time with men. Like, I have a lot of good guy friends, but, like, it's so rare that I want to have sex with Someone.

[B]

You know what be so funny is you on one of those where you can't see them. Dangerous.

[A]

Love is blind.

[B]

Love is blind.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Because you know what? I would.

[B]

No, you'd fall in love with everyone.

[A]

Everyone. And then I would see them and be like, oh no, what have I done? I would be like, shit. No, I don't like that.

[B]

Which is okay because physical attraction is so real. I don't care what anyone says. Like when they say like, oh, you. I do believe that you can get to know somebody, but usually it's people who aren't that good looking.

[A]

No, you know what? No, here's what it is. Oh my God, I love you for that. No, here's what it is. Because personality can make someone really attractive. And like, I may find people really hot who you don't because there's that attraction there and attraction is different for everyone. And like, and I think about some of the guys who I have dated over the years. If I saw them on a dating app, I would not have liked them like that.

[B]

You talk about that a lot. Because you'll show me pictures and I'll be like, kristen, no. Like, I so cute. You got it. You know, and you really do know immediately, like, you're not like, when we will swipe on the dating apps. It's my favorite game in the world. Like, I basically make you do it. Like, you'll be override. I'm like, please pull it out. Like, let's just swipe. I have so much fun. And you're like, no, no, no. I'm like, no.

[A]

He's so cute. I'm so bad at it. Well, okay.

[B]

No, you're not bad. I really think you just know.

[A]

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[B]

Which is actually something you should, like, talk about right now. Because I feel like so many people get into scandals where they're like, you're right. Yeah.

[A]

People are like, so and so is in a relationship and they're still on Raya. I can guarantee those people think that they deleted their account because I thought I deleted mine two years ago. And then I got back on and two of the people that I started talking to said that they had seen my profile while I thought it was deleted.

[B]

So your picture was being shared. So you could have been in a very serious relationship and you're. Yeah. And so I've seen a few celebrities get in trouble for stuff like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where they say that they're on there and so That's a good thing to know.

[A]

Yeah. So if you want to delete your Riot account, you have to actually email them. Okay. But so what happened was I think I know. You know what? This is so funny. I was actually going to delete my Raya account, and I saw the age preference button, so I switched it because I think it went up to 45 and I switched it to 50 sex. And then it was like a whole new Raya.

[B]

You were so excited about that. And I was so excited because I've always said that you need kind of 50.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I think 50 is, like, kind of a magical age for you.

[A]

I think 50 would be good. I am definitely open to 50.

[B]

And kids are older. They have their own money. They're not trying to, like, get in your purse. Like, your purse and your pants. I'm so afraid of people trying to get in their purse in their pants too soon.

[A]

You know, the PP and a lot of the guys in that 45 to 50 range were actually better looking than, like, the 40 to 45 range.

[B]

That's kind of actually your type.

[A]

Oh, my God, you're right.

[B]

When we talk about hot, you're right. You always kind of say the 45 to 50 year old guy.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

I mean, yeah.

[A]

But a lot weathered. Yeah, Like a little.

[B]

And just like that. Real man. Yeah, they had some life on it.

[A]

It's like Superman.

[B]

Yeah. They've been out on the Oregon trail.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

So I match with this one. Very attractive man.

[B]

Sexy, you guys.

[A]

Sexy retired athlete. I think he's in finance now. I was like, oh, this is like, everything's clicking. And he DMed me first, and then there was, like, a little back and forth, but I was really the one to keep the conversation going. And then he. So he never once asked me a question. Never once asked me one question. So I purposely didn't ask him a question. I just said how much we have in common. Because, like, he was in the OC at one point. Like, there were, like, a lot of overlaps, kind of. I said, we have a lot in common, but I purposely didn't ask a question because I had been asking a question like, the two previous times to keep it going. So then he went quiet for almost a full day. And then he said, yeah, we do. We should meet soon. Didn't ask me one question about myself.

[B]

Oh, so he wanted you to, like, Katie Couric him. Like, unless you were interviewing him, he would. He would go quiet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So he's waiting for the Next question. Rather than asking you a question.

[A]

Yeah, didn't ask me one question. Oh, but you think we should meet. Meet?

[B]

Why?

[A]

You know nothing about me, sir. Why do you want to meet up with me?

[B]

I mean, isn't that like the biggest indicator of narcissism? Yeah, we talk about all the time. But it really is. It's those people. Like, you've been at like dinners too, where like, you're. You realize you're like, oh, this person asked me one thing about myself.

[A]

Yep. Not one thing.

[B]

It's so weird.

[A]

Such a red flag for me with dating with men is like, because listen. And I think at one point you were like, well, you know, like his. That's his age. Like, they probably aren't like, good at texting. Okay. Yes. But also, it's the world we live in today. And if you're on fudgeing, Raya. Well, let me explain something to you, sir. You actually have to have a little back and forth and ask a couple questions.

[B]

Yeah. That's also giving like a lot of credit. That's just like human nature. If you're a normal human and you're talking to another human, it's a back and forth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not just like, ask me things and then you want to talk about yourself the whole time. That's so gross for a man.

[A]

Like, I'm like hunting you right now. Like, what? Little bitch. So I just ghosted him and then I actually, I wonder.

[B]

It's like, yeah, we don't have to worry about him. But it's like, do these. Well, he'll find someone who's obsessed with him no matter what. And he'll find like a little flower wallflower. He will.

[A]

Because there's been a couple other guys actually that's happened with On Riot. And they're always the best looking guys. And I think it's because they haven't had to put any effort in. And a couple of the guys, because then I will just ghost them, then they'll reach back out and ask me a question. I'm like, nope, at that point, I'm done.

[B]

I'm done.

[A]

But so I did end up deleting Raya, so I made sure of it. So I'm really happy and I really am manifesting meeting someone in real life, like, that's just how I want it to go down for me. I know a lot of people do.

[B]

Like, no more.

[A]

Yeah, no more AI models coming my way.

[B]

And so physically meeting them in real life.

[A]

Physically meeting them in real life, having to be Organic. Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's actually. So that's happened. So. Yes.

[B]

Can I say something interesting? It's so funny because that's how you started the whole online dating. You hated the idea of online dating and I'm proud of you for trying it. You tried it. You had some good experiences. You learned things from it. Also, it's wonderful, I think after a divorce, when you have years before you get into your next relationship, I think it is wonderful to try a bunch of different relationships.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

And meet tons of different people because you learn about them and what you want ultimately. And so I think it's great. And I think that Raya kind of provided that because you're not out on the town, you're not going out to bars and clubs. You know what's so funny, though, is so we always talk about this thing in Tennessee. It's just impossible here. Everyone's married or, you know, whatever. Every time you go to la, you meet five guys. I know, because it's like LA and New York. And I've always said this, you know, we need to, like, do more of our New York trips and spend a little bit more time going to the bars and I should sit in the corner. But every time you go to California, Kristen, five guys are reaching. So.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's just. It. It is a geographical thing, too.

[A]

Yeah, it is. You know, it is. Because, yeah, everyone's married here, which is so funny when I tell people that it's, like, nearly impossible to date here because everyone's like, what do you mean? Like, aren't there, like, cowboys everywhere? I'm like, no, it's not like that.

[B]

And if they are, they're married. You know, they. Most cowboys don't get divorced. You know, they hang on to their lady.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

They're married to the farm.

[A]

You know what's so funny, though, is I really do think how you think and feel makes a difference in your life. Because for a long time I was like, there's no one I'm never going to meet. So I never really thought, like, I'm never going to meet someone. But I was like, there's no one in Tennessee. I, like, definitely thought that. And since I sort of switched it and been like, I'm going to meet someone in real life, like, it could happen at the grocery store, could happen anywhere. I have seen so many hot guys, even in Tennessee, where now I'm like, wow, there is an abundance of great men out there. And I just. And I keep being reminded of that and so deleted Raya and I have met a couple guys in the wild.

[B]

In your yard?

[A]

In my. In the yard.

[B]

Big yard.

[A]

Well, there are a lot of workers right now. I probably should go outside more. So I was in la, I don't know, a month and a half ago. And this is funny, too. So the week before I came, I'm not in LA that much anymore, but my friend Nick, who I've known since I was 18, texted me, and he said, hey, are you gonna be in town September 6th? Or whatever it was. And I was like, actually, yeah, I am funny you ask. And he was like, I'm going to the Oasis concert with a bunch of people. You should come. And I was like, fuck it, why not? Okay. So that night. So I go to the Oasis concert with a whole group of people. These are all people that I used to hang out with in my early 20s. So it was very fun. Yes. Like, I brought one of my best friends, Char, and it was like, yeah, our friend Nick and Nico, and just, like, all these guys that we used to hang out with. And there was this one guy there who I thought was super cute, and we immediately, like, started flirting and hanging out, and it was, like, so fun. Right? It's so fun.

[B]

Wait, so you show up to the concert, you see the group?

[A]

Okay. Okay. So we go to Nick's house first.

[B]

Oh, I love this. It's like you're in a high school again, like a high school party, literally. And you don't get those experiences as an adult.

[A]

I know, it's so fun. So Char and I go to Nick's house. It's Nick and then two of his friends, and one of the friends is this guy. And I was like, this guy is so cute. And we're, like, flirting, and we're talking, and the whole thing, we're, like, linking arms, like, walking into Oasis. We, like, all got this party bus and went to Oasis. So then what happened was there was some drama with the tickets, and half of the group got split up. So I was with Char, Nick, and one of his other friends, but not the guy that I liked. And the whole time I'm like, fuck, man, this sucks. Like, I want to be with. I don't even know what to call him. What should I call him?

[B]

Billy Bob Thornton.

[A]

Billy Bob Thornton.

[B]

Just call him Billy Bob.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay, Billy Bob.

[B]

So, Billy.

[A]

Let's do Billy. Billy. Okay. So I was so bummed that Billy and I got separated, and then we finally all found each other for the very last song at the end of the concert, which was, like, such a bummer, but fine. So on the way back to our party bus, he asked me for my number. And we hung out in the party bus. But Char and I were going home. Like, they were all going to Malibu. And I'm like, I. I'm too old for this. I'm not gonna stay up till 6am.

[B]

Like, Char went home too.

[A]

Shar and I went home.

[B]

Yeah, for a second. Char went to Malibu. Like, of course she did. Char, Char, Char, we love you.

[A]

No, Char is a baby.

[B]

No, I know. That's why I would have been shocked.

[A]

Yeah. No, Char and I were like, we're not. We can't go to malibu at, like, 1:00am this is insane.

[B]

But why not with you? Because you actually. Once you're out, I know you're out.

[A]

Honestly. Probably because Char was going. If Char would have been like, let's go. I would have been, like, done. I didn't want to go by myself, though. It was like me and all these dudes and then, like, random younger girls. And I was just like, I don't know. So anyways. But that's fine. Okay. So I. Okay. And by the way, this is right after I changed my phone number. So when he asked me for my phone number, I was like, wait, fuck, what is my phone number? I was, like, singing a song, like, trying to put it in his phone. And I was like, I. I think that's my number. But I'm like, not 100. Sure. Okay. So I don't hear from him Sunday, Monday. So I DM him Monday night. And I said, why haven't you texted me and asked me on a date yet? So he read it.

[B]

The Cavalry Ball.

[A]

I know. Sure. They're massive. They're massive. They're so big. So he read it and then didn't say anything. So I was like, it said red. Yeah, the next morning. But by the way, I think I left that day. But I'm like, oh, my. So I'm like, maybe I gave him the wrong phone number, you know? And I'm like. Because Char was like, well, maybe he read it and then texted you.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

And I'm like, well, now I don't know what to do, because I'm not gonna, like, double DM him. Like, I don't know. So I'm like, okay. So that day. So, right. So I flew home that day. I picked Camden up from football practice. And we're driving home, and my phone rings from a number I don't know. And because I had just changed My phone number. I wasn't, like, scared to pick it up. So I pick it up, and it's on Bluetooth. And this guy goes, hey, beautiful. And Camden goes, who is that? And I was like, oh, my God, like, freaking out. I was like, let me call you back in five minutes. Anyways, the point of this is. So we were chatting for a month. He would actually call me on the phone, which I love. We would, like, text here and there. But you know what I've realized, too, is, like, guys who love to text all day long. It weirds me out, drives me insane. I can't do it. I really don't understand it if I'm being completely honest. Like, let me breathe a little.

[B]

Texting is for the gays and the girls.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

It, like, really is like, I. A guy who's, like, texting all day long.

[A]

Like, go do something.

[B]

Go build a house.

[A]

No, literally, go build a house. Why are you texting? How do you have time to text me all day? So. But Billy, actually, he'd call me, like, every three days or so, and we would talk for, like, 40 minutes, 45 minutes, which I love talking.

[B]

That you could talk to a new person for 40 minutes.

[A]

I think it speaks to our connection.

[B]

It speaks to the fact that you're very good at chatting. You know, I'm the host, you know, and it's very. It's. It's really cool. It's interesting to me. I just. I wouldn't want to talk to anyone for 40 minutes on the phone.

[A]

So here's what I'll tell you is he is very interesting. And what he has validated for me is that the work I've done is paying off, because his emotional intelligence is fudgeing. Amazing. He's really deep. He's thoughtful. He's got a great story. Like, he's been through a lot of shit. And so I really. I do enjoy talking to him. So I think that's kind of part of it, too. I also liked, because we just went deep immediately. There wasn't, like, any bullshit or fluff. It was just like, boom, here we go.

[B]

Then that makes sense to me, that you could talk for 40 minutes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I always think, like, those first. Like, if you're just meeting someone and you're talking on the phone for 40 minutes, or you're like, the weather is nice. What made you move to Tennessee?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, like, I can't.

[A]

I can't do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't do small.

[B]

If you're saying that you guys got deep, then that Totally makes no.

[A]

And so they were like good conversations and I like, really enjoyed a good friend.

[B]

Like, you can just chat forever.

[A]

It would be like, right, like you and me. So, okay, so I just was in LA this past week. So I got to LA and he took me to dinner and it was such a great date. Like, easy just flowed. It was never awkward, like, just so fun. And then I ended up seeing him a few times while I was in la and I. I like him. I think I'm like trying to figure out. I don't know. I think logistically it's going to be hard with him being in la. Like, I don't go back until a month and a half. So, like, sustaining this now for a month and a half is going to be tricky, I think. Guys know I love, love Symbiotica, so I always get so excited to talk to you about them. They are hands down my favorite supplement company. What's so great about them is their quality of ingredients is top notch and you only get the things that you actually need. There's no other crap, no other bs they add into it. Something I love is because I'm constantly on the go, they make these little pouches that are so easy to just throw in your purse, throw in your gym bag, throw in your suitcase if you're traveling. So really there's no excuse anymore. I was just traveling and I had the vitamin C and the glutathione with me. I mean, those literally go everywhere with me. I find they just keep my immune system running at top notch. But then if I do feel like I'm getting run down or if my kids are getting a little run down, I swear by it. They also have other really great things like magnesium and sea moss and, and the sea moss. It's great for gut health. So if you haven't yet, guys, definitely check them out again. They are all clean ingredients and the convenience of this, truly, there is no excuse anymore. And I promise you, you will notice a difference when you take these products. And I'm making it easy for you guys to try it. If you have not yet, I have 20% off for you, plus free shipping. Just go to symbiotica.com honest for that 20% off. And plus the free shipping. Again, that is symbiotica.com/honest for 20% off plus free shipping. All right, guys, let's chat about quints really quickly. Cooler days call for layers that last. And quince is my go to for quality essentials that feel cozy, look refined and won't blow your budget, think $50 Mongolian cashmere, premium denim that fits like a dream and luxe outerwear that you'll wear year after year. These are the pieces that'll turn into your fall uniform. I'm eyeing their wool coats. They look designer level but cost a fraction of the price and the quality. Honestly, just as good if not better because Quinn's partners directly with top tier ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. They deliver luxury quality pieces at half the price of similar brands. It's the kind of wardrobe upgrade that feels smart, stylish and effortless. You guys know I love Quince for all of their staples, really all of their really cozy cashmere basics. I even have really cozy cashmere socks from them. They have the best sweaters that are perfect for layering all fall and all winter. And they have stuff for your kitchen and all around the house too, so you're definitely going to want to check it out. If you have not yet find your fall staples at quintessential, go to quince.com honest for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com honest to get free shipping and 365 day returns. That's quince.com honest let's talk about Wayfair. I am so excited that the holidays are approaching. I mean there's just so much that goes into it when it comes to decorations. And if you're going to be hosting, I love going all out and decorating and that's why I'm so excited about Wayfair. You can shop holiday decor for every room in the house. Whether it's Christmas trees, wreaths or inflatables for the front yard. Wayfair is your one stop shop. I just went all out and I decorated for Halloween of course, but now I'm gonna be putting all that stuff away and move seamlessly into my fall decor. It's also fun too because my kids love decorating their rooms as well for the holidays and so it's great because they can go on, they can browse the website and they can get excited for a little refresh and to decorate their room for the holidays as well. Wayfair's huge selection of home items in every style makes it easy to find exactly what's right for you. And it's great because they make it easy to tackle your home goals this holiday season with endless inspiration for every space and budget. Like I said, free and Easy delivery, even on the big stuff. No more huge delivery fees for furniture. And you can find all of your seasonal must haves. Everything from furniture and holiday decor to appliances and cookware, all in one convenient place. Get organized, refreshed and ready for the holidays. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. If I'm being honest, motherhood has made me worry about pretty much everything at one point in time. But sometimes those concerns go way deeper than regular parenting stress. Here's what I mean. You're driving your kids to soccer practice and all of a sudden you have this horrible, unwanted thought, I could have a heart attack right now and lose control of the car. Thoughts like these are a common sign of ocd. And I know that might shock you because many of us have been fed this idea that having OCD means you're really organized. But those stereotypes are totally wrong. Real OCD involves unwanted, intrusive thoughts that create intense anxiety, followed by the behaviors to try to get rid of the distress you're feeling. That's where no CD comes in. NOCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider with licensed therapists who specialize in OCD and ER therapy. Therapy with no CD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans. And it includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone. If any of this sounds familiar for you or someone you love, go to nocd.com and book a free 15 minute call today to learn more about how they can help. That's no cd.com, but listen how funny this is. So this is actually kind of crazy. He told so we went to dinner again like two nights ago. Like the night before I flew home and he told me so when he was like going to text me, he had two numbers for me in his phone. He had my old, old LA number, a 310 number. And he was like, wait, what? And then he remembered you saved us for the pod.

[B]

I don't even know.

[A]

I know. Remember I told you I was like.

[B]

I have a story for you, but I'm leaning in. Lean in Justin.

[A]

And so we met at coachella in like 2008 and we were making out. Do you die? I don't remember.

[B]

My God, how crazy is that?

[A]

He had. He had my number in his phone. My L a number from like, literally 2008. How crazy is that.

[B]

That is wild.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Even when once he told you that it didn't come back to you?

[A]

No.

[B]

You know what's so funny? Something that we were late on. You can cut this out of the pot if you want. Like, we've always talked about, like, our favorite thing back in our party days was, like, making out with someone.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Like, when I was, like, drunk or, like, maybe if I did a little drug, I would, like, I wanted to, like, make out with people.

[A]

That's what I was doing.

[B]

And I wouldn't remember who any of them are.

[A]

Don't remember.

[B]

I was like, you're memorable. They remember you. Thank you.

[A]

You know, isn't that wild?

[B]

That is a wild story.

[A]

Have you heard of the red. Is it called the red string theory?

[B]

Oh, I remember somebody talking about that.

[A]

I want to look this up.

[B]

Not the cabala string, but. No, the red string theory is about something, like things coming back around.

[A]

It's. What is the red string theory? Let me ask Kyle, my chat GPT boyfriend. Okay. The red string theory, often called the red thread of fate. It's a popular East Asian legend, especially in Chinese and Japanese folklore, that symbolizes the idea of soulmates or destined connections. So the theory says that an invisible red string is tied around the pinky fingers or ankles of two people who are fated to meet and have a significant connection, whether romantic, spiritual, or karmic. This string never breaks, no matter how far apart the two people are. May stretch or tangle, symbolizing time, distance, or life circumstances. But it will always lead these two souls back to each other. Represents destiny rather than choice. It suggests that some relationships are written in the stars. So it, like, it's like this invisible string that keeps you together, and, like, maybe you'll meet early but doesn't work out, and you, like, come back to, like, it always connects you. So, listen, I'm not saying he's the one. I think there's a couple things. I think, like, his life is very much LA and mine is not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he. I just. He wants kids, and, I mean, I'm not gonna have more kids. I could maybe see him being like, it's fine. But, like, I also don't want that pressure on me of someone who initially wanted kids. And then they meet me, and then they're like, oh, no, I don't need my own kids. Like, I don't. I don't want that responsibility.

[B]

No. And it's really interesting, the red theory thing. It just kind of reminds you that stuff like that is out there. Like, the fate and you were saying you wanted to meet somebody in person and you wanted it to, like, be different than on an app or whatever. So it's interesting that that's the first one that it happened with.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And it doesn't need to be or everything. It's so funny because it's like, obviously I go through all these stories with you with the guys and stuff, and it's my favorite topic with you. Cause it's so fun. But we've been talking about it recently. You know, I really do feel like pretty soon your thing is coming, right? Like the guy that you're going to be with or whatever. And I've never for one second had a fear of you not being able to find a guy, because I don't think that's the issue. I know he's out there and he's coming. It's so funny, though, because something has switched with me because in my mind, I'm like, okay, he's coming, and it's going to be the four of us on vacation. He's going to be a part of our life, the whole thing, or whatever. That when these kind of things happen, I. I see a few things. Like when you say he doesn't want kids, he lives in la, he's very la. And I know for a fact I would love him. So if you hear.

[A]

You would love it.

[B]

Yeah. If you hear this podcast, like, I would love you, whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it makes me nervous because these guys fall in love with you, which doesn't shock me because you have so much to offer. Beautiful. You're successful. You don't need anything for. For a guy to meet a girl like you, it's the jackpot. Especially a guy who's a little bit older in life and he's been looking to date, and he's probably dated. We know what girls are like in Los Angeles, California. I mean, I want to barf right now. Guys and girls, you know, it's really hard there because you never know what people's intentions are. And whatever. People could see you driving a flashy car and that's what they're interested in. So I think when a guy meets a girl like you, it's a jackpot. Yeah, you're beautiful, you're sexy, successful, you know. So I immediately go to that place of like, oh, are we gonna break this guy's heart? And what is it gonna be like? And I've gone through all of the little breakup texts with you, and we've talked about it. And let me just say to Everyone listening. It really does affect you.

[A]

It does.

[B]

You're not like, whatever, like, I don't wanna. It really eats at you. And I'm the one who's constantly saying, when we were in Cabo, the last time that it happened and I was watching you, it was like eating you. And you're like, justin, you were asking me and I was like, kristen, just say you're not into it, you know, but you're like, I can't.

[A]

Like, I feel really bad.

[B]

Yeah. And I think it's because these guys jump in really, really quick because they, they do feel something special. I don't think these guys are gaslighting you. I don't either when they're saying these things. Some people have tried to gaslight you in the past, but they wouldn't get past the first date with you. But with a guy like this saying he feels a real connection. I believe it.

[A]

No, me too.

[B]

I really do.

[A]

And we do have a real connection. Like, I won't deny that. And by the way, for everyone listening, like, I was showing Justin some text messages and stuff from this guy before and like, it, it is intense and it is like this like crazy connection. But I think I'm more real realistic about it because I have to be because I've got kids. And like, you know, it's one thing when I'm in la, like, that's not the real world for me, like, at all. I had a few days off of being a mom and like, I'm out here on a, you know, my own schedule. But, like, that's not reality for me.

[B]

The one thing that throws me off with that is the kid talk, right? Because that's a major thing. That's something you have to be very honest about. You can't beat around the bush with kids, right? If somebody wants kids, they want kids. And there's going to be pressure when you guys start really dating that it's going to be a pressure conversation, Right? But beyond that, I've always said this thing that I kind of have to catch myself sometimes because I'm like, why can't you date a guy in LA and just see him every couple months? But then I'm like, who the fuck am I to say that? Because my favorite thing in the world is getting into bed with Scoot every night and spending those times together and stuff.

[A]

Well, and I have thought, I was like, he could be just perfect for me when I go to la, but.

[B]

Never ends up being that way. They're gonna want more.

[A]

I also, like, if I'm being honest. I want more, like, I do want to be in a relationship and, like, have a man over here and, like, cook dinner and have him be part of my family, too.

[B]

Do you think that if you met a guy in LA or you met a guy in New York and, like, everything was there, maybe they already had kids who were older, so they weren't even talking about kids at all. Genuinely weren't talking about kids or whatever. Could you go through those periods where you date somewhere, where you see them once a month or they fly into town? Yeah.

[A]

Yes, absolutely. I think if. Yes, I could make it work with someone in New York or la, if they already had kids, and if they could also travel to me. I actually really think that you could, a thousand percent.

[B]

And the thing about you is you are very good about making things happen. Like, you will plan, you'll put it into your busy schedule, you'll fly there. I'm thinking about this selfishly, for me, because I actually couldn't. I couldn't date someone who lived in another city because I really, like, would need a lot from somebody or, like.

[A]

You know, but it would almost maybe be ideal for me because then it wouldn't like, encroach on all my time.

[B]

Yeah, I actually really kind of think that would be ideal for you.

[A]

It could be as long as, like, in, you know, two years or whatever. He could move here.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because also right now, like, I look at your life and, like, your kids are so your priority and you are so in their life. Said this a million times. I feel like a broken record. But, like, you're in these years where the kids are a lot. It's a lot, you know, and having somebody who's also. But that takes a lot from them, too. They have to be stable. Being like, this is my girl, I see her once a month. I know she's not cheating on me. You know, there has to be a lot of understanding for that kind of thing to work. I think you're capable of it.

[A]

Me, too.

[B]

I think if you met a guy who kind of had all of those components, but he did live at that time, I don't. I think it'd be ideal. The kid thing is so hard.

[A]

The kid thing. So that's why, like, Billy really is so close to what I want, which, again, it just reaffirms. I am. I'm. I'm there. I'm, like, almost there and. But yeah, the kid thing is. Is real and he works a lot and he can't leave la and so that, you know, also I. So. And I also have a date Friday. So a friend in LA was like, I have a great guy for you. I want to set you up with this guy. And she's like, you know, he's got kids, he's divorced, he lives in Santa Barbara. Like, he's. He's the best. He's so funny, so great. I'm like, yeah, yeah, let me see photos. So she shows me photos of this man and I'm like, this guy DM'd me multiple times on Raya, asking me out. And I always ignored it. And I don't even know why I ignored it. I don't. I don't know why.

[B]

I'll tell you why. Because once. So this literally just happened when I got here, Kristen showed me the photo of him and I immediately was like, this guy's so hot. And then like, I. We saw a video of him talking. I'm like, he's so hot and he's so your type. But he's exactly the look that when I swipe with you on Raya, you swipe past that guy all the time. That type of a guy all the time. And I was like, kristen, wait. And what I see a little bit is like, he kind of has like a clean cut look to him. No, keep going, keep going.

[A]

Yeah, no, I'm. Yeah, because he's a good looking guy. I just, I don't know, I think in my head I'm like gonna end up with like a rough, like, supermanly, like, guy who's not afraid to get dirty and like, be out there planting my plants, you know? He doesn't look like that guy.

[B]

Yeah, he's definitely like, he gets manicures and he has a skincare.

[A]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[B]

What are you going to talk to a gardener about?

[A]

My dogwood trees.

[B]

Okay, so there's 10 gardeners out there right now. Go chat with them. Get that out of your system. But you're not going to, like, go to bed every night with a guy like that. The thing that's so wild to me about you, Kristen, is like, you are a deep thinker. You like to be around people who challenge your brain. That's when you get off the most. I look at, I notice people in your life who stick around for a really long time and they're people who do challenge you. And they're people who at their core are interested. You like good, nice, happy people who are like, also, I think successful. Successful in their own right. They don't have to be rich, they don't have to be, like, famous or anything like that, but people who can kind of take care of themselves. And sometimes some of the guys that like you swipe by, I'm like, girl, he could be fucking rad in person, you know?

[A]

That's why I hate online dating.

[B]

Well.

[A]

And because my friend was saying how awesome this guy is, I was like, okay, I'll do it, you know, and he's coming here, which makes my life easy. No, he is cute, and he's. He, like, made a joke that I paid our mutual friend to set us up. And I was like, oh, actually, you were the one stalking me on Raya.

[B]

Good for you. I love how you always clap back and put it into place.

[A]

Don't project.

[B]

Yeah, like. Like you were searching for him.

[A]

Please. Bitch, you made this happen.

[B]

It already started. You guys are already fighting.

[A]

Wait, I don't even remember what he said to that. Let me look and see what he said. I think it was a good answer. He goes, just had to blow me up there, didn't you? Which I like. And I said, I mean, it was too easy. Persistency wins, though. Persistency. So we'll see. So that's on Friday. And so I do feel like I'm in this new, like, wave of dating, this new energy. And again, the men who I'm attracting in now, there's been a shift, and I'm really happy about that. And everyone's age appropriate, you guys will be happy to hear.

[B]

You really do feel different about it, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Even the way that you and I talk about it feels very different to me. And I feel like, like anything we always say this, like, there is a process. You have to trust the process. You can't fight the process. You can't try to speed it up.

[A]

You can't go looking for it, is what I realized.

[B]

And so I feel like all of this stuff has been your journey, and we're getting closer, and even just our conversations about it, you know, never once in the years that you've been single after your divorce, never once have you complained. Like, where have they. You've always known he's out there.

[A]

Yeah, I have.

[B]

You know, to. To both of us, I think it took a little bit longer in the sense. But this was the. Also, if you think about it, two years ago, Kristen, like, you wouldn't have done a lot of things that you've done in the past few years.

[A]

I know. So everything is thought about that. Even being at the Laguna beach reunion. I don't know why? But I was like, I'm happy I'm single right now. Not because I'm trying to hook up with anybody, but, like, I just saw the dynamics with, like, spouses and stuff, and I was like, I don't have to answer to anyone. Like, I don't have to, like, check in at night. And I don't know. I just felt like it was nice. Yeah, it was nice to be single, and I didn't. And again, I think whoever I end up with wouldn't be jealous about that, but in my past, every boyfriend I've had would be jealous about that. And it. To me, it was just like, I'm so happy I don't have that right now.

[B]

Yeah, those are the things to focus on.

[A]

I know I'm really, really do have.

[B]

It, like, really good right now.

[A]

I know I do. That's the thing. I think there is a little part of me that's like, do I want to be in a relationship? But I do.

[B]

I do.

[A]

And I can make.

[B]

Somebody also needs to realize, like, they can't come in expecting to change anything about your life. That will never work.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

It has to be someone who gets you, like, two kind of big worlds coming together that are really understanding and.

[A]

Someone who's sort of in the same, like, phase of their career. We're like, I'm not in my hustle phase anymore. Like, I know this past year, I did a lot with, like, the tour and the show and everything, but, like, I'm not doing that again. And to me, this is, like, the podcast and Uncommon James is me actually kind of, like, chilling out a bit when it comes to work. And it needs to be someone who's in that same phase of life where they can also make their own schedule and they can travel and they can. I don't know, like, they're just not hustling anymore.

[B]

Can we touch base for one second? Because I actually am really curious about this because it's like, we've always said this thing where I was like. Like, we both been, like, the rugged thing, construction guy or whatever, but then don't. Don't. You do need somebody who's deep.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

And when we think about this thing a lot of times in Tennessee, it also takes a certain person here, like, someone who's traveled quite a bit, seen a lot of the world, because I do. Like I just said, the biggest thing for you is, like, you do like to learn from people. You don't want to be the smartest one in a relationship. You don't want to teach someone like, this is how you board a plane. They've never left Tennessee.

[A]

Been there.

[B]

But it's so funny because the other day at physical therapy, I saw this hot guy here in Tennessee, and so I called Kristen about it and I was like, this guy's so hot. And she's like, get his number. Or like, whatever. Like, we were being playful, like, let's figure my number. Yeah, let's figure out who he is or whatever. But then I've seen him a couple more times there and I'm like, he's a fucking doofus.

[A]

Really?

[B]

He's just like. Because now I'm paying more attention, I like, try and strike up conversation, you know, and it's like talking to a brick. So it's like, yeah, the looks are there. He's got this big body. He's sexy as, like, manly energy. But I'm like, there's nothing. Yeah. And it's like, you in particular. I have a lot of girlfriends in my life who could deal with stuff like that, you know, A lot of my girlfriends have married guys like that. And it's very simple. You're not simple.

[A]

No, I can't. I. No, I. Because, like, for me, the reason I've really enjoyed my dates with Billie in LA is because we just talk all night. I need that. Like, I need to, like, talk and get deep and, like, really connect with someone.

[B]

So, you know, all this stuff, there's no question that we're just waiting for him. He's gotta come.

[A]

Well, I'm manifesting meeting him in November on 11 11.

[B]

I don't like when you pick a date.

[A]

Okay, fine, just a month.

[B]

No, it's cute for you because also everything in your life works. Like if whatever, everything happens.

[A]

Yeah, that's soon, actually, real soon.

[B]

Girl.

[A]

I don't know if that.

[B]

And also, like, I was just saying this to you earlier. I really want the pressure to be taken off of you.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I'm so sick of you feeling the pressure of everyone. Because here's the thing, you guys like, when she meets a lot of these guys, they put a lot into you. Yeah. And then it's like you have all this pressure of, like, oh, am I gonna let him down? You shouldn't have to worry about that. And you know why you feel that? Because to them, like I was saying earlier, you're a jackpot. So they're like, so excited or whatever. You can meet people and it can be really exciting and good, but it can still be like a slow burn.

[A]

Well, that's why, like, even before we started taping, I was like, I don't know if I want to talk about my date on Friday because I feel bad if Billy hears it. And then it's like, no, but I'm allowed today. Like, I've literally hung out with this guy a couple of times. It's not like, Yeah, I don't know. I think I just. But again, it's because I just feel bad. I just feel bad. Like, imagine if I dated a guy and he had a podcast and we had just had, like, a great.

[B]

No, it's a very weird concept.

[A]

It's weird.

[B]

It's, you know, nobody nobody talks about. Yeah.

[A]

And then, like, I listen and he's like, oh, I'm taking a new girl out Friday. I'd be like, oh, my God. But that's dating. And I've actually had to explain. Explain that to some of my mom friends who have been out of the dating game for years. I'm like, no, Just because I went out with someone twice doesn't mean I'm in a relationship with them. Like, that's the point of dating is, like, you can go out with multiple people until you are like, I actually want to be in a relationship with.

[B]

Someone, especially at this age now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You're not like, this is my boyfriend. No. Two days.

[A]

No.

[B]

That's crazy. So much what you want out of life. No. It's going to take a while.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, what's really real.

[A]

Yeah. And it takes a minute to really get to know someone. Like, I may hang out with Billi one more time and be like, actually, this wouldn't work. Like, that's the point of dating, is to get to know someone to see if you want to be with them.

[B]

I actually think that's the way more normal way of dating, especially in this day and age where we know so much about ourselves.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I know so much about, like, what we want out of life. Of course we're allowed to look at the whole big picture. And I. I think it changes the game when you're really young and you want to get married and have kids really quick and you feel like you're on that clock or whatever the fuck, you know, you have to, like, you're.

[A]

Like, making people work.

[B]

You're making people work. Yeah, but at this point, you don't need to make anyone work.

[A]

You're not making anything work.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, you know, like, you want it to be magical.

[A]

Yeah, magical.

[B]

Magical.

[A]

I do. I need magic. Sorry. Fucking sue. Me. I've waited this long. It's gonna be pure magic. Well, there's that. So I'll keep you guys posted. Any final thoughts?

[B]

I can't wait to hear about this date on Friday night.

[A]

Oh, yeah, me too. I'm excited.

[B]

Forgot about it.

[A]

Okay, well, love you guys. See you soon. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.