← Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari
Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari
Honestly Cavallari Episodes 5 + 6: Boston Pt 2 and NYC
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Kristen Cavallari
The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is, let's be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality tv, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Okay, guys, this is it. Kind of bittersweet, but it is the last two episodes of Honestly Cavalieri, episodes five and six. Today we are going to recap them. And, God, it flew by. I mean, I knew it was gonna fly by. It's only six episodes and it was only four weeks because they aired the first two together in the last two together. But, God, it was over in the flash of an eye. So we're gonna start with Boston Night 2, which is, of course, Craig and Austin. This was actually my favorite live podcast show. I think it was my favorite episode. Ah, I don't know. It's hard to say, but it's definitely up there. It was the most fun I had at a show. I felt like it was my personal best show. I think it's because I was just excited to talk about what happened with Craig Austin and I. Because I had never really talked about it for the most part, and there's a real friendship there, and I just. I. There's an ease, at least on my end. I felt like I had no idea until I watched this how mad Craig was. I knew night of. You know, my producer told me that they took their microphones off like you see on the show, and that they were mad. But until you actually see it firsthand, I didn't understand the magnitude of it. And so we're going to get there. We're going to get to why he was really mad. And I can understand it. But let's back up. Okay, so the episode starts with Justin and I walking around Seaport, and I really did want to go and look for, well, look at the area, because we had been sort of looking at Seaport, a couple specific locations for an uncommon James store. And I'm kind of. I'm happy that I went because Seaport was not what I had expected. I don't know. It was super industrial to me and felt like a financial district, which I say on the show, if we open up a store in Boston, I don't think that's where I would do it. So I'm happy that we went and looked around. But this was like another one of the situations where had I not been filming a TV show, I 1000% would have been like, you know what? I know I'm in Boston, but I'm exhausted. So I'm actually not going to go look at Seaport. Like I'll see it another time because I just would have been too tired and I would have just. I wanted to preserve my energy and just probably kind of been in bed all day or like maybe work out or whatever, but I didn't really feel like I could do that. So we did go and look at Seaport and now looking back on it, I'm happy that we did because now we are not pursuing a store there. Also, another thing that we did. I don't know if you guys saw me post about Fallon or maybe even saw me on Jimmy Fallon, but Justin and I did go to this workout class, like Jump Boston or something to that effect. And we did this workout class in these ridiculous but so fun. These like bouncy moon boot things. They almost look like a rollerblade. I think I told you guys on the podcast before, they kind of look like a rollerblade that then has this like bouncy thing on the bottom. And it was so funny. I'm kind of bummed that got cut from the show because it would have been really great. And Jimmy Fallon and I did those on his show. And this is obviously before I knew what made it and what didn't make it. And so when I told the Fallon producer, like, you know, this was on the show is going to, I think, be really funny, it made sense not knowing that it wasn't actually going to make the show anyways. That's neither here nor there. So let's talk about the Craig and Austin of it all. And I say some of this on the show, but the reason why these particular headlines and this media frenzy was such a big deal for me was because it was the first really big thing after my divorce and you know, like the first guy that I dated, this comedian after my divorce, there were, I, it was written about, but it wasn't this like scandalous headline. I hadn't dealt with scandalous headlines other than my actual divorce, but those weren't even like that scandalous. I would say I hadn't dealt with like a scandal in, you know, I mean, if I was with my ex husband for 10 years, this was probably a year after, like probably like 12 or 13 years. And so it was a lot for me. And this was the first time I had dealt with a scandal as a mom. And so it was, it like really kind of rocked my world. I wanted to kind of like hide out. I remember I like went through this phase where I didn't really want to leave my house, which I know, like, it sounds awful, you guys, and I've gone through phases like that. That's just kind of what happens when you do go through something publicly. That's like kind of a big deal, and it's like something you're not too excited about. Like, I went through moments like that living in L. A too, back in the day, but because. And it also kind of like makes you question who's in your life, if you can trust people. And at the time, guys, I really felt like Craig and Austin were adding fuel to the fire and really trying to capitalize on this. And that was the part that really upset me. Like, really, really upset me. And, you know, here's the thing with these 20 minute episodes, you can only explain so, so much. And so really what was going through my head at the time was like, how the love triangle with the three of us came about was because obviously there were rumors of Craig and I hanging out. And then Austin, like, I'll never forget it, he went on Watch what Happens Live. And Andy had asked him about it, and Austin almost kind of like tried to make it seem like it was actually him that was hanging out with me. So that's why then people started getting really confused. And that's where I. I'm sorry, but I'll just say it. As a fucking veteran, when it comes to this shit, I was like taking a step back and watching it from the outside, being like, these motherfuckers are just adding fuel to the fire. And it really. It really rubbed me the wrong way because I've always come from the camp of, if you want something to go away, you just don't talk about it. It's that simple. Because then it will blow over. I say all of this and listen, where I've gotten to with my comfort level in the public is wild to me, actually. And it's because of this podcast, because I'm talking into a camera by myself, I feel real comfortable, and then shit goes everywhere. But even it's funny because I even look at when I was doing the Back to the beach podcast, Stephen and I played Sipper Spill. This is how I even first heard about the game. And I remember one of the questions was, rank your boyfriends in order of best to worst. And I remember being like, oh, my God, I could never do that. Like, I would get in so much trouble. Cut to what, three years later? I would answer that in a heartbeat. You know, I just. I don't know, I've gotten exceptionally comfortable answering things that I quite honestly probably shouldn't be answering, even on my podcast tour, playing Sipper Spill or answering questions from the audience. Like, I probably answered more than I should have. You know, I don't know. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It just sort of is what it is. This podcast has made me really comfortable sharing a lot. And I have said if the Craig Austin and I stuff came out today, I probably wouldn't have cared. It was just where I was at four years ago. I guess it was. I was in a much more vulnerable state. And listen, there are zero hard feelings there. I don't think they had bad intentions or like any ill will of trying to, like, capitalize on it. I think it was more just at the time. That was my takeaway from it, that's all. But I look back on it and I don't feel that way whatsoever. Well, is that true? I look back on it and I think they were probably excited about the attention, is what I would say. I don't think they were trying to take advantage of it, but I think they were excited about it. And I think probably they didn't also know how to navigate it. You don't know how to navigate something like that until you've been through it. I mean, it took me a lot of trial and error of living through a lot of bullshit in the press to realize, you know, what, if I actually just don't comment, it goes away a lot faster. But that's learned with time. This one is for all of my parents out there. You guys have heard me talk about them a million times and for good reason. But I want to talk to you about Haya. Typical children's vitamins are basically just candy in disguise, filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals, and other gummy additives and that growing kids should just never eat. That's why Haya was created. A super powered, chewable vitamin. While many children's vitamins are filled with 5 grams of sugar, which is known to contribute to a variety of health issues, Haya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy additives, yet it tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters, I also love this. 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But yes, I realized it's not like we're going to get into the nitty gritty and be like, whatever. Like, I knew I could not ask them questions that I wanted to ask on stage. So I'm glad I did end up going upstairs and saying hi to them in their green room and them having them come down to mine because, yeah, they were bitter. I mean, I Didn't. I didn't know they were so bitter. And this is the first time I had seen Craig in years. I mean, since Prepaid. Oh, actually that's not true. I saw Craig and Paige at the MTV Movie Awards a few years ago. But I mean, okay, that I saw them one time for five seconds. That was the only time I had seen Craig in years. Since, you know, I guess the last time we had hung out, Austin, I had seen a few times Austin came to Nashville. Actually he's come a few times. And Justin and I have seen him, I think on every occasion that he's come. So. And we've kept in touch. So I've seen Austin, but it was definitely the first time I had seen Craig in a long ass time. Austin getting makeup is so funny to me. It's so funny to me. I say this with the most love, but these boys watching this show came off like such divas, I think. I personally think, which is really funny to me. I just think they came off like little reality TV divas. But him getting his eyebrows darkened, I just, I was laughing so hard, so. Night two in Boston. This crowd was the best crowd. If you were there in the audience. I fucking love you. You guys were awesome. Fucking awesome. This was a Thursday night. Was this a Thursday night? I want to say it was a Thursday, maybe a Wednesday. Maybe this was a Wednesday. But either way, the crowd was getting a little lit. They were having fun. They showed up this theater, I said it last week, but this was my favorite theater on the whole tour. So I go out, I'm doing my little opening monologue. The boys are right, you know, to the the side of the stage, listening, and you can tell they're like getting a little nervous because I. My opening monologue, they don't show a lot of it in the show. They'll show like little glimpse, glimpses here and there. But the gist of my opening monologue was that, you know, my life in the media, I've never felt like I had control over my voice. But you know, this is the one time in my life I want to give them something to write about. Like let's, you know, let's give them some damn headlines. They do show that in the show, but. And then I'm like, let. I want to bring out. I'm bringing out people who have been in the headlines with me to like basically talk about exactly what happened. Like, pull back the curtain on it. So when I'm saying that, you can tell that they're like, oh, shit, like we're going to talk about all of the headlines that we were in, because I know this now, but I didn't know it at the time. I guess Craig's team had asked my producers to not bring up Paige, which, by the way, is totally reasonable. That is a very normal ask. I told you guys last week on the podcast. I think it was last week that I typically go into interviews and say, I don't want to talk about my ex husband. Like, there are definitely requests that you can make that is not out of the ordinary. However, he never said anything to me, so I had no idea he did not want me to ask about Paige. Also, of course I'm going to ask you about Paige. That's the last time you and I saw each other. I want to know if you lied to me about her. Like, what do you mean? I'm not going to bring up Paige. Of course I'm going to bring up Paige. Are you kidding me? Imagine if Craig came out on my podcast tour and I said nothing about him being single or about what happened with him, me and Paige. Like, no, I'm sorry. Craig, come on. Come on, buddy. We love you. Use your head. Okay? But yeah. So Craig is nervous. Oh, yeah. He says he shouldn't be here. I'm just gonna say, is he feeling a little guilty because, you know he lied. He knows he lied. I don't know. So like I said, there was this love triangle between Craig, Austin and I, but then a second love triangle came in when Paige entered the chat. And, you know, listen, Craig did lie to me about Paige. I actually. Sorry, Craig, I love you on the show. I went back and read our text messages and it didn't make the show. I think it didn't make it because you can't read someone else's text messages unless they sign a release for it. So while, yeah, it's nice having my end of it. Like, you kind of needed his end too, to really, really get the gist of it or not get the gist of it. You get the gist of it from my end. But to, like, really get, like, the full, like, meat and potatoes. You needed his end too. But he did lie to me about Paige. He did. He did. He did. He did. Let's just put that out there. And so I think there's a little part of him that is just feeling kind of guilty and, like, caught red handed. I think he has dug himself into a big old hole in the press as a whole lately. And this was just one more thing adding to it but that's all I'm gonna say. Craig, I will not read our text messages. I will not call you out any more than just saying, you did lie to me. You did, and I still love you. Okay? I asked the boys the worst rumor they've ever heard about themselves, and Austin says his height online was shorter than he actually is. And they're like, it was definitely Madison that changed it. That is so fucking funny to me. Also, I hope it was Madison, because that is such a genius move. I'm like, if a guy pisses me off, I'm a thousand percent gonna go on Wikipedia and change their height to be really short. Okay? So then we place the first bill, and Justin comes out to read the questions, because Justin did, in fact, come up with these questions. That was not a lie. And so I think the truth or dare was like, a last minute thing because there was a question. And then I think Justin was actually like, oh, that's stupid. Like, I don't want to ask that. So then he said, truth or dare? I pick dare, because I'm not a little bitch. And he dares me to kiss Craig on the lips. And, you know, I love that the boys are acting like I wanted that. Like, I'm like, yeah. And you hear Craig say, like, my raya date was more than a raya date. But can I just remind you guys, I already had my shot in my hand because I was already taking my shot. I wasn't like, I wasn't, like, dying to kiss Craig. I wouldn't have done it. Even if he was completely single, I still wouldn't have kissed him. And then I get off stage and he's like, by the way, if I wasn't dating someone, I would have kissed you. Like, I'm out there. Like, oh, Craig wouldn't kiss me. Like, I wasn't trying to kiss you either. What? But the boys get off stage and they're pissed. Craig says this is about the dumbest thing he's ever done. And, I mean, I don't know, I just. I didn't know that they were pissed or I guess I should say that Craig was pissed. I don't think Austin was pissed. And I get off stage and I'm so fucking hyped because I felt like that was a great show. Also on stage, I could not tell in the slightest that Craig was upset. I just. I couldn't. And I asked the boys if they had fun, and they both say yes. I'm like, well, okay. I mean, fudge, if you're gonna be Bitching about it. At least just say, say something to me and be like, I just wish you didn't ask me about Paige. Or like, say something I don't like. I don't do that two faced bullshit, man. Also, you can't be two faced or lie on camera. Like, this is reality 101, people. You just can't. You just can't. Because you will get called out. I mean, you would think they would know this shit by now. All right, so that's episode five. Great episode. My favorite episode. And then we go into episode six, which is the finale, of course. And this podcast episode is with the Garcia twins, formerly known as the Bella Twins, in New York City. And it starts with Justin and I driving to the city. And I will say again, if it wasn't for a show, we would have flown. But they did give us the option before we left for tour, when we were like booking travel and everything, production asked if we would want to drive. And Justin and I were like, yeah, actually we would, because it would be really fun for camera. So we were all in on that and actually it was kind of fun. And we stopped at this really great cinnamon roll place too, and got cinnamon rolls on the way, which I wish I could remember the name cause they were fucking incredible. But so you realize very, very early on, I'm not a good co pilot in the car. I'm better in the driver's seat. So we switch and now I'm driving. And so I have the Bellas come out for the last show because I've known them for years. I have always, from the moment I met them, just loved them so much. Because they're real, they're fun, they're beautiful, they've been through it in the headlines. Like they get this world. And so, of course, with my whole theme of the podcast tour, I thought that they would be great. And because, you know, again, I just love them so much and I love strong, independent women. And I just, especially to end the tour with them was so perfect. So in the car, they have us talking about where we should go out tonight. I think I told you guys this before, I wouldn't have gone out if it wasn't for the show. And I hate to burst everyone's bubble. I just, I'm too much of an old lady these days. This was an exhausting week for me. It was non stop. And I went out because I felt sort of like I had to, you know. And again, I mean, Scoot was in town in New York. This is the first show that he was coming to. So there's also a personal part of me that felt like I needed to, you know, show up for Scoot, too. And. But we went to the gay bars. We went to Flaming Saddles, which is so, so funny. But okay. But we'll get there. So they also have me talking about how Harry is also in New York. And, you know, how, like, oh, I basically could have made out with him, but then he was on a date with Lucy Hale the night before, which I was not upset about. I had known about Lucy Hale for months. Actually, my favorite health brand is Symbiotica. You guys already know this because I always get so excited when I get to talk to you about them. And they are my favorite for really good reason. Symbiotica's products have been a staple in my health routine for years now, and they make it so incredibly easy, especially during the summer months when you're on the go, it's hot outside, you know, the last thing you want to do is take supplements. But these all come in little individual pouches. They taste great. There's no excuse for even when you're on the road, when you're traveling. I always take the glutathione and the vitamin C with me whenever I'm on the road. They also just came out with a new Sea Moss packet. And I think unless you're living under a rock, you've definitely heard of all of the benefits of CMOs. I notice that when I'm consistent about these three products, in particular, the vitamin C, the glutathione, and the CMOs, not only do I notice a difference in my skin and my nails and everything, but my immune system is functioning at optimal levels. I can travel, and I never feel run down, even in the slightest. Sailor actually has a little cold right now, so I have been pumping her with the vitamin C packets, and it really is making a difference. I swear by these. And like I said, taking Symbiotica supplements is just one of the easiest ways I found to stay consistent with my health goals, even during a busy summer. So, guys, go to symbiotica.com honest today to get 20% off plus free shipping. That's C-Y-M-B-I-O-T-I K A.com honest to get 20% off plus free Shipping. Okay, let's talk about for a travel. All right, picture this. You and your bestie have decided that this is the year you're gonna go on that dream wellness retreat that you've been talking about. Forever. You know, since college, since you graduated high school. But now what are you drowning in information and browser tabs, feeling paralyzed and not sure how to pick the best one or was planning a blast? You're already the go to in your group and you have a full on Google Doc with the best spots, itineraries and hidden gems. Well whichever one of these is you for a travel will help make it even better than you've dreamed. So guys, travel agents are back. No, I mean it. 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I even love having peace of mind giving these to my kids, knowing that it's great for their gut health. It's great for their Immune system. So we are loading up on these things. All right, you guys are going to want to try these, if you haven't already. Find Simply Pop and any of its five juicy flavors by visiting them online at cokeurl.com Simply Pop. That's C O K E URL.com/simply pop coke URL.com/simply pop. Okay, so Justin, I get into another little tiff, you guys. And Justin and I have been friends for 20 years. We've gotten in two. Two. I wouldn't even call them fights. Two little tiffs in our whole friendship. And then we got in two on tour, which is crazy. And I think it just speaks to where we were both at emotionally and. And physically, because we were just exhausted all around. But we're in the car and we're talking about the Q A that I did. I am, I guess, the night before at the show, and how someone was basically like, you know, you do it all and you make it look easy. And I'm like, you know, I. I know from the outside world I do make it look easy, but, like, I actually. I don't do as much as people think. And Justin is saying to me that he wishes I would give myself more credit on stage, and it's just not me. I will never, ever, ever be able to get up in front of an audience of people and be like, yeah, you know, I know I do a lot. I work really hard, and I'm also a really good mom. And I, you know, like, I. I can't do that. And I think part of it is, I don't know any different. Like, for me, this is just my life. I am someone who just. I thrive on going. Like, I don't sit down, because once I sit down, I get tired, I crash. Like, I don't like being bored. I've been like that my whole life, where I am just like, go, go, go. That is just in my blood. That's just who I am. And so it feels weird for me to give myself credit for that. But, you know, I think for me, it's hard because if I. To me, it felt like it was a criticism of what I could have done better on tour. And in my head, I'm like, okay, it's already done. And also, that is so out of character for me. And I just like, I'll never do that. And then he changes course and he's like, no, I'm just saying, like, you know, I'm like, giving you a compliment, and I'm like, no, but that's not how you started. Yeah. If you were like, I wish you would give yourself more credit, because, you know, you do do a lot, I'd be like, thank you. I really do appreciate that. But, like, I will just never do that. And to me, at first, it just felt like he was saying, I should be getting up there and having a different answer. And I'm like, I won't. I can't do that. That was where my frustration was coming from. We actually had this really great moment in the car, too, because I was like, you know, the best thing I learned in therapy, and I've talked about this on the podcast, was if I'm talking and you're the listener, like, here, I'm gonna tell you how I feel. And then you basically repeat back to me, like, okay, I wanna make sure this I'm understanding you correctly. So you feel like, you know, no matter what, you could never get up in front of an audience and give yourself credit. And so this conversation sort of feels like. Like, you can't win. And I'd be like, yeah, that's exactly how I feel. And he'd be like, okay, I totally understand that. Okay, now Justin is the talker, and I'm the listener, and he's like, totally hear you. And that makes complete sense to me. I am just telling you, as a friend of, like, I see everything you're doing, and I appreciate you. And I'm like, wow, okay. Thank you so much. We had that moment in the car, and we both actually felt so much better after. But, of course, you know, I wish you could. Well, in a lot of ways, I wish the show was an hour because then we could use a lot more of these real moments. But I also do think that it's great that the show is quick, so it is what it is. But we did have that really great, like, therapy moment in the car. So we get to New York City, and like I said, Scoot is here, which I'm so excited that Scoot's here. You know, he comes in for the last night. And I love when the Bellas get to the theater. You know, you can just tell certain people are just made for. For camera. Are made for tv, because the Bellas come alive on camera. Like, they've got personality. They've got, like. They're just so fudgeing good on camera. And I think, like, you can kind of tell from the whole season, like, who really pops on camera and who doesn't. And the Bellas, to me, really pop on camera, so. Because it's the last show. I'm fucking hyped, man. Like, it's surreal, it's bittersweet. I'm like, this week actually flew by. Like, holy shit, I can't believe I made it to the last show. But I'm like, like I'm jacked because of it. And I will say, listen, the audience was kind of a bummer and I don't want anyone who was there to take that personally. I know that a lot of people were really excited and were energetic and were trying to interact with me. I'm not saying everybody in the audience. I'm saying as a whole, it was the weakest audience that I experienced on the whole tour. Maybe also because it was also the biggest audience. I also think there's an element because it's New York City and New York and LA are a bit jaded. I, I'll stand by that. I stand by that. It's just the truth. And so, yeah, the audience wasn't nearly as good as some of the other audiences and some things were not landing. And I don't know, I just. It's not a. Not, because I know that was in the trailer and people were like, really taking that personally. It's not a personal knock on anybody who was there. And I love everyone who came. And actually, you see, later when I'm doing the meet and greet, I mean, I literally was like, no one's going to be excited to meet me because that was the energy that I felt on stage. And then actually that was probably my favorite meet and greet because everyone had a story, everyone was really excited. I mean, like, people fucking showed up. And I, I do love meeting people for these moments because, you guys, I film my podcast for the most part by myself talking into a camera at my house. And then it just goes out into the world. I really don't know the impact that it has or how it's resonating for people. I do get dms and, you know, I'll occasionally see comments and stuff, but overall, like, I don't know how much it's making an impact and doing this tour and getting to meet so many of you was the first time I was like, wow, it actually is really fucking resonating. And you know, you see, because I came home from tour, I got really sick, actually, for two days. I was laid out for two days. And then I filmed the podcast, my podcast tour wrap up that they use a little bit of in the finale here when I'm crying and those emotions were so real. And I'm actually Starting to get a little emotional now because getting to see firsthand that so many of you have a story about how my podcast or something that I've been through has helped you. And that for me is like, okay, this is why I'm doing it, you know, because sometimes I don't know, I'm just like, you know, spitting things against a wall and seeing what sticks. And that's why I came home on such a high, because of moments like that. And so I don't want me saying that the audience was kind of a letdown to take that away at all, because then the meet and greet, like, really jacked me up again. And I was like, no, I mean, these people fucking care. And that makes me care. That's. That's why I'm doing this. And so just. I really don't want anyone to take that personally. But. Okay, let's go back to the. To Nikki and Bri. You know, they are just. They're so real. And talk about authentic. You guys. Know, I really value authenticity, and I really appreciated them coming out, and especially Nikki coming off of a divorce and being so open and vulnerable. And, you know, Nikki says, because I asked them about, you know, in the press, if there's anything that they've ever read that's actually true, because, you know, most of the time it's not. And Nikki talks about how she's always sort of painted as the villain in the media, and, yeah, I can relate to that. You know, it's just so interesting. I really do think it's like, if you're a woman and you have a really strong personality, and, you know, she was saying how, like, on the wwe, she's playing this character. She's, like, playing this character, and, like, yeah, I shall body slam a guy on the show, but, like, that's not real. That's not her. And I have felt that coming from reality TV and playing a character, you know, it's. It's hard. And I've realized, actually, during the past month with this show on TV and doing press and all these things, and, you know, because every time I'm. I'm on tv, it's like this wave of, like, all this shit again. And what I've come to the realization of here in the last month is I will forever be misunderstood, and I have to just get to a place of being okay with that. And I actually, guys, I really do feel like I'm okay with it now. I really do. I think the very beginning of this show and the press tour and everything I was like. It was, like, making me uncomfortable. And I decided. I think it was two weeks into the show, I was like, who gives a flying fuck, no matter what? And I've always known this, but no matter what I do or say, a, not everyone's going to agree with it, and B, people are always going to take shit out of context and always put their own personal lens on what I said, from their trauma, how they grew up, their beliefs, their. Their insecurities. Like, we all put a filter on everything in the world. And that's why actually, you and I can have the same thing happen to us and have very different experiences. That's why a lot of times siblings have very different experiences of their parents or their aunts or. Or their own sibling dynamic, because we all have a different lens that we're looking at the world through. And so I think notoriety, fame, whatever the fuck you want to call it, I think what that means for me is forever being misunderstood and having to be okay with it, and that's okay. And, you know, because the people who get it, which is my podcast listeners, it's you guys. You guys get me. You guys know me. That's what matters to me. You know, it's. It. Nothing else matters. It really doesn't matter. So that's what I care about. And so I really love how, honestly, Cavalieri ends. And, you know, like I said. So we go to Flaming Saddles. It's this gay bar with these gay guys dancing on the bars. It's like the guy gay version of Coyote Ugly, sort of. And they get me up on the bar dancing. I literally was up there for five seconds because I was kind of uncomfortable being up there. I didn't really want to be up there, but I knew it'd be a great shot for the end of the show. And it was like, all right, I'll just. I'll fucking do it for two seconds. So I got up there, and I'm really happy I did, because it was. I love how they ended the show with this moment up on the bar, going out in New York City for the final night, cutting it with my actual podcast. That that emotion was so raw and so real because it was right off of my tour that you can. We couldn't have captured that in the interview chair, not to that level anyways. And so I just. It. This show, you guys, has felt so real. It was so authentic. I'm so happy I did it. Look, now I'm getting emotional again, because I gotta tell you, like, after 21 years of being in the entertainment world. This show did what I set out to do, more, actually, than the podcast, where itself did. Because doing a show, you know, you got to see way more of the behind the scenes. You got to see me in my house with my kids. You got to see my. My real life, my real emotion, my. The real shit I'm going through. And finally, you got to see it. See me for who I am rather than playing a character. And I'm so thankful to E and Bravo and Peacock and, you know, well, NBC, really, and Alex Baskin, who produced the show, and Ailey, my. My showrunner, and everyone who worked on the show, because my goal was to make it really authentic, and everyone who worked on this show made that possible. And it was my favorite show to film. As chaotic as this week was, I loved it. And I. Midway through tour, I was like, I'll never fucking do this again. There's no way. I would love to do it again. I'm ready. Let's do it again. Let's go on another podcast tour. Let's do a season two. You know, I. I just know where I was at coming off of this tour. I was on such a high because I accomplished the. My biggest fear, which was public speaking. I've told you guys, and. Oh, God, that felt good. It really felt good. I walked away from this tour thinking, if I can do this, I can do fucking anything. And I feel like I've actually kind of maintained that. And I love then that the very last scene is with two of my three kids. Jackson was at a friend's house this day. I was like, mosi, you're gonna miss. You're not gonna be in the final scene. He's like, whatever. But I love that they ended with the kids. And Camden taught well, both of them, but Camden talking into the camera, it's genius. That's called breaking the fourth wall in the production world, where you, you know, like, acknowledge the cameras and acknowledge what's going on. And I just. I love those moments because it doesn't get more real than that. And. Yeah. So thank you guys for watching the show. Thank you for listening to the podcast and just for being on this journey with me. I really, you know, after the tour, I felt really humbled and grateful, and I feel that again with the show ending, and, I don't know, I've just been able to carry those emotions with me. And again, I'll say it till the day I die. It's because of you guys. You guys have made my whole fucking career. Possible. I'll never take that for granted. So thank you as always. I love you as always. Okay, and then I am off next week, guys. So I will see you the following week for Patty Stanger, Millionaire Matchmaker. I am so excited about that one. Don't forget though, for the next few Thursdays, we are going to continue to have bonus episodes with the actual live podcast shows. And make sure if you're watching it on Peacock, the two final shows will are next week tomorrow. I don't know guys. I can't keep it all straight. I love you though. I'll see you guys soon. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.