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The following podcast is a Dr. Media production. This is, let's be honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality tv, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Cause I got all the power.
B
Yep.
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Welcome in, guys, and happy New Year's Eve. Which is crazy to even say this year has blown by. I'm a little under the weather, so I'm sorry I kind of sound like this, but we're just gonna make the most of it. And today's episode is absolutely perfect for the new year. I am so excited about my guest today. She's a spiritual leader and a number one New York Times bestselling author, which I know personally is a massive accomplishment. She has the Dear Gabby podcast, she's a motivational speaker, and she's the queen when it comes to manifesting practices, which is exactly what we're going to get into today to set everyone up for the new year. Gabby Bernstein. Hi.
B
Finally.
A
Finally. We've been talking about this for over a year.
B
I feel like I've been like, dming you.
A
Well, I'm really excited to have you here. I've been such a fan of yours for years and years, which I want to tell you a funny story about how long I've been a fan of yours for, but we'll get to that. But I want to start with your story. For the people who may not be familiar with you. You are very open about the dark times you've been through, the struggles you faced, and how you were able to turn that into love. And so I'm curious because I know when people are in such a dark place, it's really hard to find the light. It's really hard to think there's any hope and that you're ever gonna get out of that. So how were you able to do that?
B
I think I've been doing that over and over and over. You know, rinse and repeat. But I believe that my first really big life bottom was when I was 25. And it was 19 years ago where I was really struggling with alcohol and drug addiction. And at the time, I was running a business in here in New York City, where I was representing nightclubs and really in the scene and really thinking that that was what life was about, right? Being seen, having president on my business card, getting past the velvet ropes, like, just the bullshit. I was also 25, you know, 20 years old.
A
That's what is important at that time.
B
That is Important at that time, I suppose. But for me it was a blessing that I hit such a hard bottom so fast because my drug of choice was cocaine. So using cocaine will take you down. And thank God I was using it then and not now. I mean, I would have been dead. No kidding. Definitely would have been dead. So that drug took me down and I, even when I was using, always had stacks of self help books next to my bed. And I would always be reading spiritual texts and really wanted another way of perceiving the world. But obviously that was the opposite of where I was. And I remember I was at this, I had this after hours party right before I got clean and there was people in my apartment. I was like in this like one room studio apartment. It was like so dingy, trash was outside the window. It was awful. And I was looking at these people and I'm like, I'm going to be a motivational speaker and a self help book author. And they were like, nice fucking try. And I realized then, because I would look at those books, I knew that there was something more for me. I knew it, I felt it psychically. I had a call and by the grace of God, I made the decision. We talked about this earlier. It's getting sober is about making a decision. Decision to choose a different path. And on October 2nd of 2005, I asked for a miracle. I was like, I need a miracle. And then I heard an inner voice say to me, get clean and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams.
A
Wow.
B
And that's the path I chose. Here we are.
A
That's incredible.
B
19 years.
A
That's amazing. What do you say to people who are in that dark place though? Is it like ask for a sign? Like find that inner knowing. Like, how do you guide people through.
B
That no matter what you're facing? And you know, that was just one of many bottoms to come. There was different, definitely difficult moments, as we all experience difficult moments in my life. And in each of those moments that I see as these opportunities to transcend or an opportunity to detour in the right direction, I would say to anyone, all you need to change is the slightest willingness to change. And it's the folks who don't have that willingness or they're often, it's too scary, right? People are saying like, well, I don't want to have to do what it takes to make that healing happen. And that's why I really believe that healing should happen slowly. And we have to give ourselves permission to just slowly titrate into things and come out and then go a little bit closer in and come out and to be very gentle with ourselves. Which is really a lot of what I'm teaching today is through that process.
A
That makes sense. Yeah. Healing is not just a straight line. It's ebbs and flows and it takes years, which actually. So your book May cause miracles. I was gifted in 2013, so this is over 10 years ago. And that was the very first thing on my spiritual journey, my self healing journey. Because you know, I think and I included went through life not being aware of my thoughts and negative thoughts. And that book was the first thing that made me take a step back and be like, wait a minute, am I doing this all wrong? And that book, what it does is it really shifts your mindset around everything from self, love, relationships, money. And so I just think sometimes having someone kind of wake you up is the best thing. And so when, when you were writing that book, what was your intention and how did you know that this is maybe what people needed to hear?
B
It's such a funny thing that we're talking about. May cause Mirac. So my new book is 10 books in. So I'm like, you've got a ton. So I'm like, these. It's almost like babies that you forgot about. You're like, oh, I had a child. And it's like I don't remember their name.
A
And it was so impactful in my life.
B
That's just really meaningful to me to hear you say that because. Because I haven't touched into that content in so long. I think at that stage, I think every book I've written, I've written for myself first. So I'll write about what I'm living and what I'm experiencing and what I'm needing and knowing. And that book was at a time when I was really new to my, well, deep dive headfirst into my metaphysical beliefs and really training my mind and reprogramming the way that I chose to perceive the world. And that was what that book is all about. I mean, may cause miracles. My husband actually gave me the title for that one and it was really designed to help people go through a 40 day mental reconditioning, as are all my books. Really. It's about reprogramming your thoughts and rethinking things so that you can unorganize or undo the belief systems that hold you back. And as I've gotten older and as I've continued to write, the depth of these books I think has gotten even deeper and deeper in that my Own personal recovery's gotten deeper and deeper.
A
Absolutely. Well, what I love so much about that book is there's just easy takeaways.
B
Simple.
A
Yeah, I used to put in my calendar every Monday, believe in Miracles. And it, like you said, it's just shifting that mentality. So if people are listening and they're sitting there going, wait, I don't, I'm not aware of my thoughts. I don't know, the negative thought patterns, maybe I'm telling myself, where can someone start on that journey?
B
I think that they could first notice how they feel. Okay, right. So it's like, how's it going? How are you feeling? And usually the answer is, I feel anxious or I feel overwhelmed, or I feel fearful all the time, or people don't actually even tune in to even inquire what's happening on the inside. And so if you don't have any idea of what the thoughts are, and I think a lot of people do have a good sense of those repeated thoughts that they keep thinking like, oh, I'm not good enough or I'm inadequate or I don't have enough money or I'm never gonna have the relationship that I want. And so those stories, I think that people are mostly familiar with those common stories. But if you're not, what is it that you're feeling that's undesirable? And what thoughts or sensations might be attached to that feeling? You start with the feeling.
A
Okay. And then, okay, so it is a new year. We're going in here to 2025. So it's the perfect time to manifest. Right. We've got a clean slate, a new year ahead of us. There's so much information about there, about manifesting that I think it just over complicates everything, really, when you break it down, it's fairly simple. So let's start simply. What is manifesting?
B
I think that there's a lot of bullshit about manifesting this person. Right? Okay. So manifesting is the natural state of who we are. We are all what I call super attractors. And we have within us the capacity to create what we believe. We do create what we believe. We manifest what we believe. And people think, okay, if I do this thing or I repeat this idea, then something magically is going to come to me and maybe that'll things will change because you're changing your point of your, your intention a little bit. But will you be able to keep that thing you attracted? No. Or is it just a game that you're playing with the universe and that's Bullshit. Because the bottom line is, is that we are naturally manifestors. We are naturally super attractors. And what's happened in our life is that we've built up all these false belief systems based on childhood wounds. You and I are both very vocal about our childhood wounds that create beliefs, and those beliefs we protect against forever. So we do all these kinds of different ways of protecting against these very uncomfortable feelings from our childhood. And we're living in that mode of being triggered and protecting ourselves and being triggered and protecting ourselves. And that dance that we're playing day to day is just blocking that natural state, which is that super attractor state, which is the state of joy, it's the state of inspiration, it's the state of creativity, it's the state of connectedness. And that's the truth of who we are. We already have it. And everybody thinks, oh, can go make a vision board. I can go say affirmation a thousand times. And all those things do help because they just address. They adjust your attention. But the real work is to address the belief systems that are blocking you from being the super attractor that you are.
A
So if we're manifesting from our subconscious, so what we're putting out, so if we have this negative belief, I'm not worthy. Let's just take that as an example. How can someone shift that? How can someone do the healing work to work on I am not worthy.
B
Yeah. Well, my tenth book, Self Help, and it's out today. It is out today. I mean, happy New Year. This book is all about the unwinding and unburdening, the core beliefs that you have carried for a lifetime and the core beliefs that have held you back, that have kept you addicted, that have kept you in the wrong relationships, that have kept you in the patterns and behaviors that don't serve you, that make you rageful, that make you want to binge or whatever. The behaviors that are extreme in your life to befriend those belief systems so that you can heal those patterns. And that's the real manifesting flex.
A
Right? Okay, you guys, let's take a quick break to talk about Element. You guys know I absolutely love Element. I've been drinking them every single day for a few years now. Element is a zero sugar electrolyte drink mix and sparkling electrolyte water. Born from the growing body of research revealing that optimal health outcomes occur at sodium levels two to three times government recommendations. Each stick pack or sparkling can delivers a meaningful dose of electrolytes free of sugar, artificial colors, or other dodgy ingredients. Element is formulated for anyone on a mission to restore health through hydration and is perfectly suited for athletes, folks who are fasting, or those following a keto, low carb, whole food or paleo diet. I'm the biggest fan of their grapefruit and their citrus. However, during these colder months it is kind of fun to play with their chocolate melody. So that includes chocolate mint, chocolate chai and chocolate raspberry. I'm a huge chocolate mint girl so I will put that in my coffee sometimes in the morning just to change it up and I'm all about it. It's also great to put in hot chocolate if you want to do it for your kids too. I'm always trying to find ways to sneak electrolytes into my kids bodies as well, so that's a great way to do it. Okay guys, so get your free Element Sample pack with any purchase@drinkelement.com honest. Also, you can try Element totally risk free. If you don't like it, give it away to a salty friend and they'll give you your money back no questions asked. They have a very low return rate and high reorder rate which we love to hear. That's drinkelement.com honestly okay guys, let's talk about Nutrafol. My hair has always been really important to me and I started taking Nutrafol about a year ago because I had a lot of breakage and it honestly just created these crazy layers in my hair that I was not a fan of. So I've been on this kick of growing out my layers and I finally am in such a great place. Thank you to Nutrafol. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over 1 million people. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in best three to six months With Nutrafol, everyone's root causes of hair thinning are different, so a one size fits all approach to hair growth doesn't cut it. Nutrafol has multiple formulas that are tailored to give your hair what it needs to grow throughout different stages such as postpartum and menopause as well as different lifestyles such as plant based diets. It's physician formulated with 100% drug free ingredients. Nutrafol supplements support healthy hair growth from within by targeting root causes of thinning including stress, hormones, aging, nutrition, lifestyle and metabolism as they evolve throughout a woman's life. The cold dry air of winter can be unforgiving, but your hair doesn't have to suffer for a limited time. Nutrafol is offering my listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping. When you go to nutrafol.com and enter the promo code Honest Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend Nutrafol for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code honest that's nutrafol.com promo code honest here's a new brand that I'm excited to talk to you guys about and that's O Positive. O Positive is a women's health company. They offer a range of symptom targeting supplements that support women at every stage of life from their first period to well beyond their last. They're proud to have the best selling women's health products at Target and on Amazon. Eurovaginal Probiotics is one of the top five supplements on Amazon and they have multiple number one products in Target for intimate care, PMS and menopause categories. So what's so special about O Positive products? Well, they create real tangible results with ingredients that are backed by clinical studies and shaped by board certified doctors. O Positive is committed to breaking down stigmas and addressing issues many women experience which can include hormone health, vaginal health, menopause and so much more. So many factors guys, including sex, tight clothing, sweat from working out, hormones, periods. I mean the list goes on. Those can all disrupt vaginal health and lead to an imbalance in vaginal flora and pH, causing unhealthy vaginal odor and taste, abnormal discharge and discomfort. When taken daily, which is two capsules a day, URO delivers noticeable benefits within eight weeks. Many see results sooner. Many customers talk about how the improvement in vaginal health led to greater confidence as well as better sex and intimacy. Okay guys, so take proactive care of your health and head to ohpositive.com honest or enter honest at checkout for 25% off your first purchase. That's O-P-O-S-I-T-I V.com honest for 25% off. So it talks about ifs, right?
B
Yes.
A
And. Okay, so explain what that means.
B
So this is a self. So the book's called self help. Yeah, and it's a self help four step practice, but it's based on the principles of a model called internal family systems therapy, which is not your external family. It's like this little family. It's as if you have a family of parts of who you are inside. It's an inner system of people inside of you. And I'm Going to simplify this as much as I can. So this is my gift. My journey was I used IFS in my trauma recovery, in my sober recovery. It was a therapeutic practice that I had that my therapist was using with me. And then I went on to get trained in the model because it was just so awesome. It had done such a great gift, it done such a service to me. And so I became trained in it. And then it was very clear to me as I was preparing to write this next book, that this book had to be about democratizing this therapy. Because not everyone's going to have the access to therapy or the desire to go that fast and that deep or the commitment to it, or the time or whatever their story might be. And so my job as the translator and the demystifier was to take this very big, very important body of work and make it self help. And so here we are. It is a four step practice that addresses these young wounds within us. Yeah, so you know this, you've spoken to this in your own words. We have these experiences from our childhood that are too extreme for the child part of who we are to actually manage. Our brain can't handle it. We don't have the ability, we don't have. We have no idea how to manage these extreme emotions. Without a proper caregiver to help us move through that, naturally we become burdened by it. And it becomes a belief that's so scary to face. And the beliefs and the feelings and the trauma and the shame and the inadequacy becomes too scary to actually ever touch. And so we just shut it down. And the way that we shut it down is with all these different protection mechanisms. So, you know, even as a little kid, right, like maybe, you know, it's like bullying so that you don't have to feel like you're not good enough or starting to judge other people, so you don't have to feel inadequate or perfectionism. So you can feel like you're being seen or overdoing it so that you can have that attention that you desire and long for. And these become these protection mechanisms that we use from childhood to the present. Okay? So those little parts of us, like my controller part or my rageful part, these parts of me have been around for 45, 40 years, right? Because I've lived the experience of these repeated behaviors, right? So that's what's called protector parts, is the repeated extreme behavior that we act out with on a day to day basis to protect ourselves from the impermissible.
A
Feelings from our past oh, God, it's so powerful. What are the four steps in your new book?
B
So the four steps are about letting this energy of what's called self with a capital S. And so some folks might think of self as their God within them or their Buddha nature or their spiritual essence or their inner guidance system or intuition. And in ifs self is these c qualities of curiosity and connection and compassion and courage and commitment and knowing that you are just in that essence of love. And that is an essence that we all have.
A
Okay.
B
So, like, we're born with. It's what we're born with. It's who we are. It is our true nature. And the practice here is about helping these younger patterns, these protector parts, remember that self is there and make that connection. So the first step is to maybe identify that there's a part that you have that maybe like, have you ever said, like, oh, a part of me gets really freaked out when so and so does XYZ or whatever.
A
Right.
B
You know, or a part of me gets really controlling at work or whatever the story might be. And for those of us who have. Are trauma survivors, you know, we have part. A lot of parts. And so they're protecting us and becoming aware of that or just becoming aware that maybe you have a feeling or sensation that is undesirable in your life.
A
Okay. Yeah.
B
And so when you notice that trigger and you notice that you wanna respond to that trigger by acting out or lashing out or whatever it might be, the first step is to choose to check inward, to check in rather than check out. Right, right. Checking out.
A
Because that's what a lot of people do.
B
It would look like raging or drinking or binging or whatever it is. And so choosing to check in is the operative, operative word choice. Right. It has to be our choice to do the work. Yeah. So choosing to check in. And then when you do that, you just focus your attention inward and you just notice inside what. And do this with yourself right now as I talk to you don't have to say anything. Just think about a part that's pretty active. You know, there's stuff that's going on.
A
Yeah.
B
And so just think about that part that might be up right now and just choose to check in if you feel called and just become a little curious about that part of you. So where does it live in your body? And you don't have to respond just for yourself. Where does it live in your body? And where do you. What does it feel like? And what do you know about it? You can say to the part, you know, how old are you? How long have you been around?
A
Oh, wow. Yeah.
B
And also just getting a little bit more curious. You can, you know, say, show me any images or some kind of story or thoughts that might be associated with the part. You could ask it to speak to you.
A
And then is journaling during this.
B
Journaling with this is a whole other process you could do. Yeah, yeah. And then the third, once you feel a little bit connected to that part, which I even noticed that you got that connection, you can connect even further by saying to the part, compassionately connect and ask that part of you, what do you need?
A
Yeah.
B
And then you'll hear often the part will say, I need a hug or I need to rest or I need to dance or I need to play or I need. I need to be seen.
A
It's taking care of that inner child.
B
Yeah. You're giving it the attention that it always wanted. Yeah. And then the last step is really just a nice step. You can just check for those seed qualities of self. Like, do you feel a little bit more calm? Do you feel courageous? Do you feel more connected? Do you feel curiosity?
A
Because isn't it true that, like, when you do the inner child work, your body doesn't act or your brain, I guess I should say say doesn't actually distinguish between time of today and, you know, 35 years ago, whatever.
B
That's right. Yeah. So those little inner children, that's the language you want to use. That's totally the same thing. Those little inner children are very blended with who we are as adults. And when we get triggered, we become them.
A
Right.
B
We can. You know, if you've ever, like, had a fight with a spirit spouse or you just, like, lose your Right. And you just are like, who was that?
A
Yeah.
B
You've ever said to yourself, like, whoa, who was that? Yep. That's a part.
A
Yeah, I've been there.
B
Yeah.
A
I mean, I feel like it's gotten better over the years, but there is still those moments. And, you know, because I've done a lot of work on myself in the last. I'd say, like, five years. And even though I've done the work, there are still moments. It's an evolving thing. Right. You're never fully healed. Or are you.
B
I can say right here, right now, 45 years old, I am not fully healed, but I feel fucking awesome.
A
I love that.
B
And I have devoted my life to undoing the fears of my past so that I could live in the light and the love of who I am and in the devotion of myself. And then of course, in the devotion of my readers. And if you asked me if we were sitting here two years ago, I wouldn't be saying the same thing I'm saying right now. Even a year ago, I wouldn't be saying the same thing I'm saying right now. I'm a constant evolving transformation. But right now I am actually really living in the miracle.
A
Okay, you're my goal. How do you handle negativity or outside noise? You know, because I mean that's. People ask me that question a lot and I'm always like, don't read the comments. But like at the end of the day, they do affect me sometimes.
B
This is gonna sound like a broken record, but I would check in with the part of me that's affected.
A
Okay. Right, yeah.
B
So I would do that exact four step process where I'd be like, okay, what part of me I noticed that I'm super affected by this comment or whatever it might be. I'm gonna choose to check in. And then I would get curious like, what do you want me to know? How long have you been around? Any images? The same thing. And then I'd say, what do you need? And then I'd notice the shift. Because the activated parts of us, the things that get activated are usually because of a childhood wound.
A
Right?
B
Like trigger for reasons like I might not give a shit about somebody talking shit about me in social media, but maybe you would. Or not us, but like, or like I might lose my mind if somebody like says that they're not gonna like do the thing I want them to do, but maybe that would blow off your shoulders, you know what I mean? So we all have these core wounds that we, when activated, we go into the part we become blended with that.
A
Part and triggers are there to show us there's something we need to check in.
B
The triggers are the sign we need to check in.
A
Yeah. Yeah. It's so fascinating. Fascinating to me. I love this stuff. I'm so excited to talk to you guys about Armra colostrum. Colostrum evolved 300 million years ago and it's the first milk all mammals produce. It's the first nutrition we receive in life and contains all the nutrients your body needs in order to thrive. Over 5,000 research publications document the health properties it confers across all stages of life. Armor is sustainably sourced from grass fed cows on family owned dairy farms throughout the US Utilizing only overflow colostrum, ensuring the calves needs always come first and only surplus waste is collected and upcycled. This is really important when you guys are out there looking for a colostrum. You guys know I'm always on the lookout for ways to strengthen immunity and gut health, improve my fitness and metabolism, enhance my skin and my hair radiance, all the things. Well, that's why I love armor colostrum so much. Because I'm telling you, you guys, when you take this stuff regularly, you will see a difference in all of the things I just mentioned. All I do, you guys, is I mix this in water and it honestly has such a minimal taste, I don't even notice. You can mix it with other things. You could just sip on it throughout the day. Just make sure you get it in. But I really, since I've started doing colostrum on a regular basis, I can't say enough good stuff about how my skin is glowing, my hair looks great, my nails have been stronger.
B
I'm.
A
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B
Well, we're all energy.
A
Yeah.
B
And the beliefs that we carry inform our feelings. And our feelings are the energy that we extend. And so if we're on that repeated path of that hamster wheel, of the same belief of I'm not good enough or I'm inadequate or no one's going to help me or I'm never going to have the love I want, we're repeating it and repeating and repeating it. And ultimately we're feeling it. And that feeling is the vibe. And those vibes speak louder than our words. Yeah. Because you could meet somebody like we. We just dropped in, you and I today. Right. It was like we just met each other. We dropped right in because both of us were just sort of, you know, excited to meet each other. We were very disarmed. You know, if. If I had come in with like an agenda or I was like having a bad moment from earlier today, like, that would have affected that connection that we made right when we walked in.
A
Yeah.
B
And so that's the vibe.
A
Yeah. Okay. That's such a great way to put it. And so staying in high, high vibration is just. Is it just having positive thoughts? No, it's feeling it. It's really.
B
Yeah, it's not just having positive thoughts. The positive thoughts are a step. Affirming how you want to feel is a step. But I'll keep coming back to it. I think that like I said earlier, the real flex is just getting to the inner healing. But that's a small step each day. It's not a huge rip off the Band Aid. And so if your vibe is off, you could maybe do one small thing today to adjust that vibe. So it could be that you listen to one of your podcasts. Cause it lifts you up or someone listened to you. Or it could be that you read a passage from a book or open may cause miracles to one of the days in that 40 day practice. These little adjustments absolutely shift our energy, shift our thoughts. And then we start to add up the miracles. Add up the miracles.
A
Practicing gratitude is probably a great one.
B
Appreciation for what you do have because that ultimately creates more of what you want.
A
Right, Exactly. And then so the flip side, obviously staying in low vibration is anger, jealousy, just anything. Talking shit about someone, like all of those negative things.
B
Yeah. I mean, judgment attack, thoughts, jealousy comparison. But again, we don't want to put down those aspects of ourself either because those aspects of ourself once again have a lot to reveal to us. Right. So when you judge Yourself for judging. You create more judgment. It's just a cycle.
A
Right.
B
So instead you could maybe sort of get into a story of like, well, I'm noticing that I'm judging. I'll check in with the part of me that's judgmental, and then what do I know about it? And it's like, oh, well, this doesn't feel good. Or this reminds me of when I was in high school and somebody else got the thing I wanted. And, you know, so you start to unpack it for yourself.
A
That makes sense. Okay. And then going back to manifesting, because I do want to give the listeners real concrete things that they can do to have the best year of their lives. So when it comes to manifesting, first of all, is there anything that we can't manifest?
B
You can't manifest something for someone else.
A
Okay, okay. But you can manifest a job, love, a trip, like, whatever it is that you want. And is it the same practice for everything?
B
Yeah.
A
Okay, so what are some good steps for us for manifesting this new year?
B
Well, I would say, first and foremost, recognizing the thoughts and beliefs that are misaligned with what it is that you want to attract. Right. Because if you're like, I wanna attract love, but all day long you're thinking, like, I'm unworthy of love or no one's ever gonna love me, then you know, you're in the way. Yeah, you're in the way. Notice if you're manic manifesting. Also, like, a lot of people are like, I'm doing all the things. I'm, you know, doing the vision boards and I'm listening to the podcast, I'm doing the meditations and blah, blah, and they're just like, kind of just crazy energy that's not going to manifest.
A
So is it? Because, like, what I've noticed in my own personal practice is that if I'm trying to manifest something, the hard part sometimes is that waiting period.
B
Right.
A
Of like, okay, I want X, but now I have to sit here and wait. And then I'm focusing on the fact that it's not coming, which then only makes it worse. Right?
B
That's right. Yeah. I think that one of the secrets to manifesting is surrender. Yeah. And in my book, Super Attractor, there is. Well, actually, I think it's in the universe has your back. There's a chapter that's when you think you've surrendered. Surrender more.
A
Oh, okay.
B
Because the secret really is to forget what you think you need and really just open your heart to what is of the highest good. Okay. Okay. Because when you're so focused on, I need it this way, I gotta make this happen, you leave no room to the universe to surprise you.
A
Okay? So what you're supposed to do is, let's say you want to manifest a new job. You get very clear about what you want, and then you let it go. You.
B
Yeah, you would, you would. You would have a vision, you'd have clarity, you would align with what the joy that that job would bring you. You could hold visions of that job and seeing yourself in it and let the energy feeling it. Yeah. Because the feeling, again, is what manifests.
A
Okay.
B
So let the energy get excited, Let be, be in joy. The other thing I would say is if you're manifest trying to manifest a job, make sure you're having fun in your current job, or if you're unemployed, make sure you're doing things that bring you joy in the realm of the work that you want to do. Okay.
A
Because again, it's that vibration.
B
Exactly.
A
Okay.
B
Yes, exactly.
A
What about someone who's single and wants to be in a relationship? Same thing. Just still enjoy being single.
B
Have fun using the app. If you're not having fun using that app, shut that shit down.
A
Got it.
B
Okay. Have. Have a great. Enjoy being with your friends. Because when you're having fun, that's the sexiest energy.
A
Yeah.
B
Right? Like the happy girl, the fun girl is the sexiest energy in the room.
A
Yeah. Okay.
B
And so just have fun.
A
I love that.
B
Yeah. Have a lot more fun.
A
Yeah. And just stop thinking about when it's coming, because it will come.
B
You've got to have fun along the way.
A
Have fun along the way. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I love that. What else can you give to my listeners just going into the new year? Like, what advice do you have for them if they want to go after what they want?
B
Well, my best advice is, I've got so much advice. God.
A
Well, yeah, you do.
B
Well, it's New Year's Eve, and tomorrow is my manifesting challenge. It starts tomorrow. It's a 21 day manifesting challenge.
A
There you go.
B
It's like this. It's this perennial event that I do and people lose their shit.
A
Wait, I want to do it.
B
Okay, girl, what are you doing? I'm going to get you in right now. Okay. Okay. So it's 21 days. It's 21 days. And I'm guiding you each day in a very simple manifesting practice that you get it. You download my app, and it's all in the app and it gives you a daily practice. Every single day. It's an audible practice. And it works like, I put 150,000 people through this challenge.
A
Oh, wow.
B
Yeah. And I've gotten. People have come to me saying that they got pregnant, they've found their marriage. People have sent me pictures of themselves at their weddings. Last week, I got an email. Something in the mail. Not an email. A letter in the mail with a wedding invitation to someone's wedding who actually got engaged because of the challenge.
A
Oh, I love that.
B
New jobs. It's this. It's the cool. One of the coolest things I do every single year.
A
I'm doing it.
B
Yeah. And if you're listening, they can go to dear gabby.com forward/ manifestingchallenge.
A
Perfect. Okay.
B
Yeah.
A
And then talk about your app, because, yeah, you do have this app so people can work directly with you. Right.
B
So I don't do any one on one. But having the Gabby Coaching membership app, it's like having me in your pocket as a coach. And when, you know, actually re. Give me the app. Give my phone for one second, if you don't mind, I'll pull a card for you.
A
Oh, okay.
B
Like, there's, like, card pulls.
A
You can do these social media media, too. You guys, Gabby's a great follow on Instagram. If you don't follow her, it's. Yeah, it just. I don't know, seeing the cards that you pull and you just have such positive energy. It's just nice to see. It just shifts your whole perspective. We do need it.
B
Okay, so here's what happens. You open the app. Okay. So you're right here. And you open the Gabby app and pull. Oh, I'm gonna get you back to center. Okay, so you'd open. You'd have like, two minute daily practices, and you'd have your challenge in there, but pull a card.
A
Okay.
B
So you just swipe it and then tap it.
A
Just swipe or. Oh, like this. Okay. Oh. I communicate with ease and grace. People are willing to embrace what I have to say.
B
Okay, that's. Hey, spot the fuck off. Oh, my God, I love that. That is really, really, really good.
A
I like that.
B
And you're doing it actually right now.
A
I know. That's what I like.
B
Yes. This is so cool. You're doing that right now. Remember this? I'll read this for you. So communicate with ease and grace. People are willing to embrace what I have to say. I think this is also coming to just. Also this. You can use this here in this moment when you're communicating with your community, but also I think just in your personal life as well. So recognizing that the clearer you are and the more simple you are in your words and your actions, the more you'll be received and to witness if there's charged energy behind things. And just keep it simple, keep it clean, keep it clear. I'm channeling for you now.
A
I love that. Wait, okay.
B
Yeah, I'll pick another card for you. Let's see. Okay. Yeah, no, I do channel. So when I'm in alignment with the love of the universe, peace cannot be disturbed. Okay, this is yours. Okay. I love this for you again. Look how pretty it is.
A
It's so pretty. Oh, I love this.
B
Yes. So I'll get you in the afflate immediately.
A
Yeah, I'm literally joining right now.
B
I'm gonna join in it. What's nice about this one is that when I'm in alignment with the love of the universe, peace cannot be actually, it cannot be disrupted. And I like this very much for everyone listening, because the piece that I was speaking about when you're like, oh, well, does anybody ever get there? I actually was on a podcast earlier today and I was like, you know the there that we talk about? I was like, I'm at the. I'm there there. Like, I'm at the there now. And. And I mean that. And it doesn't mean that, like, shit doesn't go down. It doesn't mean that I'm like, literally not in, like, deep perimenopause, like, dealing with, like, fucking hormonal upheavals which every woman listening. Go get your hormone panels checked. We'll talk about that later. But. But it doesn't mean that real shit's not going down. Right. It doesn't mean that I haven't had. Don't have so much on my plate or, you know, been away from my kid, whatever it might be. Right. But it means that I'm staying in that alignment. And in that alignment, peace is natural.
A
Yeah. Okay. I like that.
B
Yeah.
A
You're. You still have shit like everybody else. It's just how you respond to it.
B
Your faith holds you in the moment.
A
Yeah.
B
Going through things.
A
That is true. It is true. I've been working on that for the last four and a half, five years, and it's huge. When you can make that shift, it will shift your whole life, actually. I needed to hear those. Those are great. Okay. Well, you're amazing. I'm so happy that we finally did this.
B
So happy.
A
And then you mentioned a little bit earlier, but I want everyone to know exactly where they can find you. Your new book is out today. Self help. Definitely get that. And then Instagram your app. Tell everyone again.
B
Yeah, so my Instagram's at Gabby Bernstein. The app is the Gabby coaching membership. I think people should definitely check out the challeng and it's like the day they can, they can still get until January 5th I think.
A
Oh, this is perfect.
B
Fourth through the fifth.
A
Yeah, perfect.
B
So. DearGabby.com manifestingchallenge Amazing. And if you really wanna know the manifesting flex of all flexes, I've never really thought about it that way. But yes, the true manifesting is to do that deep inner work. And so I would recommend self help for everybody.
A
Amazing.
B
Yay.
A
And you guys, happy new year. I can't believe I'm saying that. Go have the best year of your life and I'll see you guys in the challenge with Gabby.
B
Yes.
A
Thank you so much.
B
I love you.
A
I love.
Podcast Summary: "How to Manifest Your Best Year in 2025 with Gabby Bernstein"
Podcast Information:
Kristin Cavallari opens the episode by introducing Gabby Bernstein, highlighting her achievements as a spiritual leader, bestselling author, and motivational speaker. Cavallari expresses her excitement about Gabby's appearance, especially given her admiration for Gabby's candidness about her past struggles.
Gabby's Story of Overcoming Addiction: Gabby shares a deeply personal narrative about hitting a significant low at age 25. “[...] my first really big life bottom was when I was 25. [...] I was really struggling with alcohol and drug addiction” (02:12). She recounts her life in New York City, involved in representing nightclubs, and how cocaine use ultimately led her to a precarious edge. Gabby emphasizes that hitting rock bottom was a catalyst for her transformation: “[...] making the decision to get clean is about choosing a different path” (03:40).
Gabby Bernstein discusses the non-linear nature of healing, emphasizing that it involves ebbs and flows rather than a straight path. She advises listeners to cultivate a "slight willingness to change" and to approach healing with gentleness.
Key Insights:
Gabby stresses the importance of patience and self-compassion in the healing journey, reinforcing that transformation is an ongoing process.
Kristin shares her personal experience with Gabby's book, "May Cause Miracles," noting its pivotal role in her spiritual awakening and self-healing journey. She explains how the book helped her become more aware of her thoughts and negative patterns.
Gabby's Reflection on Her Book: Gabby reveals that her books are born out of her personal experiences and needs. “[...] every book I’ve written, I’ve written for myself first” (05:55). She elaborates on "May Cause Miracles," describing it as a 40-day mental reconditioning program aimed at reprogramming thoughts and dismantling limiting belief systems: “[...] reprogramming your thoughts and rethinking things so that you can undo the belief systems that hold you back” (06:00).
The conversation shifts to the core topic of the episode: manifesting. Gabby Bernstein demystifies the concept, presenting it as an inherent state rather than a mystical practice.
Defining Manifesting: Gabby explains, “We are all what I call super attractors. We have within us the capacity to create what we believe. We do create what we believe” (08:37). She critiques common misconceptions, such as the idea that manifesting requires magical thinking or superficial efforts like vision boards and affirmations alone.
Overcoming False Beliefs: Gabby highlights that childhood wounds often establish false belief systems that impede our ability to manifest. She states, “[...] we have built up all these false belief systems based on childhood wounds” (09:00), emphasizing the need to address and heal these deep-seated beliefs to harness our true manifesting power.
Gabby introduces a four-step process rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, designed to help individuals connect with their true selves and eliminate limiting beliefs.
The Four-Step Process:
Identify the Trigger:
Check In:
Connect with the Part:
Embody Self-Qualities:
Gabby emphasizes that this practice helps in redefining one’s relationship with their inner parts, leading to profound personal transformation.
Kristin and Gabby discuss strategies for managing external negativity and maintaining a high vibrational state.
Gabby's Approach: Gabby suggests applying the four-step process to external negativity. For instance, when faced with negative comments, she advises, “Check in with the part of me that's affected” (24:37). This introspective method allows individuals to address the root causes of their reactions rather than merely suppressing them.
Maintaining High Vibration: Gabby elaborates on sustaining a high vibration by engaging in activities that uplift and align with one's true self. “Just do one small thing today to adjust that vibe” (32:02). Practices like gratitude, listening to uplifting content, or engaging in joyful activities contribute to maintaining a positive energy state.
As the episode progresses towards its conclusion, Gabby provides concrete steps for listeners aiming to manifest a successful and fulfilling year in 2025.
Key Strategies:
Surrendering to the Process: Gabby highlights the importance of surrendering and letting go of rigid expectations. “One of the secrets to manifesting is surrender” (35:04). She explains that holding too tightly to specific outcomes can block the flow of abundance.
Clarity and Joy: Being clear about what one wants while simultaneously enjoying the present moment enhances manifesting power. “Have fun in your current job, or if you're unemployed, make sure you're doing things that bring you joy” (35:57).
Positive Emotional States: Maintaining joy, curiosity, and gratitude are essential for attracting desired outcomes. “Appreciation for what you do have because that ultimately creates more of what you want” (32:53).
Gabby reinforces that manifesting is not about mere positive thinking but about a holistic shift in mindset and emotional alignment.
In the closing segments, Gabby emphasizes the significance of inner work and continuous personal growth. She introduces her new book, "Self Help," which delves deeper into addressing and healing core beliefs.
Gabby's Encouragement: “I have devoted my life to undoing the fears of my past so that I could live in the light and the love of who I am” (23:49). She urges listeners to embrace their evolving selves and commit to ongoing self-improvement.
Upcoming Initiatives: Gabby mentions her 21-day manifesting challenge starting the day after the podcast’s release, encouraging listeners to join and experience transformative practices firsthand.
Notable Quotes:
Gabby Bernstein:
Kristin Cavallari:
Conclusion:
In this empowering episode of "Let’s Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari," Gabby Bernstein offers profound insights into the art of manifesting and healing. Through sharing her personal journey, outlining practical steps, and debunking common misconceptions, Gabby equips listeners with the tools necessary to manifest their best year yet. The conversation underscores the importance of inner work, emotional alignment, and the continual pursuit of personal growth, making it a must-listen for anyone seeking transformation in 2025.