← Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari
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Kristen Cavallari
The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. This is, let's be honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality tv, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Hello. How are we guys? Spring is in the air. It is a beautiful sunny day out. It's getting warmer here in Nashville. I am just so excited about spring and the summer. I am ready. This is one year where I'm just over the winter. I'm so over it. I hit my wall with it. I'm ready for shorts, for some sandals. I. I'm a summer girl, man. I love the summer. I love the sun. I'm sorry, I know. I just do. I love the sun. I'm a. I'm a sun baby. So I'm very excited that, you know, the days are longer now and it's starting to get warmer. Makes me so excited. So today I think is going to end up turning into a two part episode. We are going to do listener questions, what you guys wanted to talk about and you guys always submit some really funny ones and always consistent themes. The main theme really sort of is always dating, which is hilarious to me, which, hey, listen, I did tell you guys that after the tour we could kind of circle back on it. I've been quiet about it for a while, really, because not a whole lot's been going on. It's really the main reason. But I'm back on Raya, which I talked about on my tour. So we will get into all of the dating of it all. But I want to start with just some easy ones which someone asked how was drinking again? Because I. Well, I did drive February leading up to my tour. I also think I drank two or three times in January. I think twice. And then I drank a little bit on the tour, but I really, I didn't drink a whole lot. I actually thought so if you came to the tour, then obviously you know this. But I took a shot when I first went on stage with five people from the audience just as like a little icebreaker because I've had this crazy fear of public speaking and I thought that would just be a nice way for me to break it up a little bit, which it did. I was really happy I did that. So I did that. And then we played a drinking game at some of. At every show. Some of them I don't even think I took any shots. And then other ones I did. But I'll be honest with you guys, the drinking game shots were water. I'm trying to think if they were for every single one. I think they were. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Here's the problem. I can't host a live show, especially in Chicago. I had two shows back to back. I can't do that and be drunk. I would. There's just no way. And let's be honest, the whole point of the drinking game was to get my guests to reveal. Also, I don't need alcohol to reveal anything. You know, like, let's. Let's just keep it real. That's never stopped me. I'm always just telling it like it is. But I did take real shots for the very first shot that I did on stage, because, honestly, it just sort of helped me. Put me at ease, too. But. So I was expecting in Chicago to go out. I was like, you know, I have a ton of friends in town. Obviously, there were the whole Season 2 cast of Laguna. Harry J. Was there. I had just. I have a lot of friends in Chicago since I live there and family and everything. So I was expecting to go out, and I was expecting to go hard that night. I was like, it'll be my first night really drinking in, you know, two months. And I was like, oh, it's gonna be so fun. I have the next day off, and I was so exhausted after two shows back to back and a show the night before and all the traveling and everything that we did go out. We went to Sluggers in Chicago, which is an iconic bar. It's been around forever. Actually. Biggs, my best friend, her husband owns it. His family's owned it forever. So we. It was just an easy, fun spot. I. I just love going there. And I think I was there for 45 minutes because I was so tired. And honestly, if I didn't have all those people in town, I would have just gone to bed. But I felt like I needed to show face and say hi to everybody. And then in New York, the very last show, the very last stop, we did go out, but again, I think we went out for like an hour and a half, and we actually went to a gay bar, which is pretty hilarious. And again, I think if I wasn't filming a show, I would have just called it a night, maybe just grabbed a drink at the hotel bar with Justin and Scoot and then gone to bed. But because we were filming a show, they wanted to get this shot of me up on the bar dancing, kind of like as a. A little nod to my Cabo scene on Laguna beach, which was fun. And I was with, you know, all the gay. All the gay dancers at this little bar that we went to. But then I hit a wall and I was like, I just want to go to bed. And then at that point too, I just wanted to get home. My flight the next morning was. Well, I shouldn't say the next morning. My flight the next day, coming home, I think wasn't until one, which at the time when I booked it, I was like, I'm gonna go out the night before, so I'm gonna want to sleep in. I was up, I think at 5, like 6am that Friday morning. And then Justin scoot and I went to breakfast. But I then I was sort of killing time waiting to go to the airport. Had I, you know, hindsight, it's 20 20, had I known myself a little bit better and known that I was probably actually just going to be exhausted and wanting to get home, I probably would have booked myself on like a 9am flight and just gotten my ass home. But anyways, all that to say drinking again was fine, I think, because I never drank that much. I was never hungover, which is great. And that one shot that I would take on stage, I think because my adrenaline was going so much, I didn't really feel it too much. I was a little nervous to take my first shot just because I was like, I haven't drank in so long, I don't know what's going to happen, but it's like riding a bike, you know, no big deal. And I haven't drank since because I just don't really drink when I'm at home. But I'm going to Miami. And so actually when you guys listen to this, I will just be getting back from Miami, but I'm going to Miami with a couple girlfriends. So that will really be my first time drinking, I would say, like, where I'm like having a night where I'm not exhausted, where I'm like excited to go out, and it's like a whole thing. So I'll keep you posted on that. I'm sure the hangovers will be absolutely brutal. So I'm not looking forward to that. And. Or hopefully I can just have a couple drinks and not be a wild animal, you know. And then someone asked if I'm going to go on tour again. And it's so funny because while I was on tour, everyone was saying, I can't wait until you go on another tour. And I was like, what are you talking about? Let me get through the. Through the first one first, guys. As of today, I don't think I'm gonna go on another tour. There's nothing in me that wants to. And what I mean by that is this tour was such a huge deal for me, and I talked about it last week, but personally, it was a huge accomplishment being able to speak in front of thousands of people like that and have it just be me and my words and, you know, overcome that fear of public speaking and be in a really vulnerable place. Like, that was one of the biggest things I've done in my career on a personal level. And because of that, I got what I needed from that tour. Like, I walked away from that tour feeling really accomplished. And I loved meeting so many of you and being able to connect with you guys in that way. But that is not something that. I don't want this to come out the wrong way. That's just not something that. Like those big spectacles, right? Like, going on this big tour and having it be chaotic and cramming a lot into one week, that's not really who I am anymore, or that's not what I like doing anymore. I feel like the first half of my life was really chaotic, and starting from my childhood, you know, chaotic. And I always felt like I was on the defense, and I was, like, always, like, I could never just, like, settle. Nothing was peaceful in my life, and I've worked really hard in the last few years to set now the second half of my life up to be peaceful. I really value peace because I didn't have it. And nothing about that tour was peaceful. Nothing. And it was really fun, and I'm so happy I did it, and I just don't feel the need to do that again if that makes. I hope that makes sense. It's not, like, in a way of like. Like, I. Listen, I really love, love meeting so many of you, and I've said it last week, but, like, hearing so many of your stories about how this podcast has helped you in so many ways, and that really. That fuels me. But it is a lot of energy to expel doing something like that. And I was worn out afterwards. And I know, never say never, because, you know, I said I wouldn't go back to reality TV a million times, and then I have multiple times, but I don't know. I really am trying to not add anything else to my plate. I mean, really, the podcast and uncommon. James, I'm so happy, and because they're on my terms, on my schedule, from my house, you know, this is. This is peaceful. This is nice. This fits into my world very easily where the podcast store was a lot of work and it was just, it was a lot all around. And again, I'm just, I'm really thankful that I did it. I'm. And for the opportunity. I mean, that was one of the coolest things I've ever done. But I, I got what I needed from it. Thank you very much. Okay, let's talk about one of my personal favorite brands, which is Symbiotica. Spring is on its way. Or in fact, I guess I should say it is huge here, at least in Nashville. And now is the time to refocus on your health goals. I'm all about keeping my wellness routine simple but effective. Symbiotica helps me do just that. I just pop a magnesium packet before bed and I wake up feeling refreshed, clear headed and actually rested. But it's not just about sleep. Magnesium also helps with stress, brain function and workout recovery, which honestly, I think that's kind of all we need. Symbiotica is as clean as it gets, you guys. They do not use any seed oils, preservatives, or artificial junk. Just high quality, real ingredients that actually do something. I'm telling you, you guys, when you take this stuff consistently, you will see and feel a difference. That's one of the reasons why I love Symbiotica so much, because I just trust them as a brand. I have peace of mind whenever I take any of their products that they are as high of quality as you can find on the market. And I take not only their magnesium, but I love their vitamin C and their glutathione packets. I told you guys before, but I had these with me on tour anytime I travel. I just got back from Miami. I had them with me the whole time. I live by these little babies. Symbiotica Wellness made simple. Go to symbiotica.com honest for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com honestly for 20% off and free shipping. All right you guys, let's take a minute to talk about Wayfair. I don't know about you guys, but every time spring rolls around, obviously I'm doing a lot of spring cleaning. And maybe it's because my closet that I've been renovating is finally done, but I'm just wanting to take on all of these long awaited home projects. I think updating your home obviously makes it feel more like, you know, you like it's your home. And since I just moved into a new house, obviously having that blank slate was really fun because I get to start from scratch and just envision exactly how I want my home. So since it is home project season, Wafer is the best kept secret for all things renovation. Whether you're making a little update like new kitchen cabinet hardware or doing a full on renovation, Wayfair has stylish and quality home improvement products for every budget. Right now, like I told you guys, my closet is done and so what I'm looking for, well it's almost done. The cabinets finally got put in, so I'm looking for little knobs for all of the drawers. And so I was actually checking out Wayfair for that. They've got a lot of great options if you're in a time crunch. They have the fastest delivery, it's free, it's hassle free. Also, returns are really easy with them as well. Wayfair makes it easy to tackle your spring home goals with endless inspiration for every space and budget. Whether you need a little light refresh or an organization overhaul, shop the best selection of home improvement online. Get renovating with Wayfair. Head to Wayfair.com right now. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home okay parents, here's one for you guys that I've talked about a lot and that is Haya. Typical children's vitamins are basically just candy in disguise, filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals and other gummy additives that growing kids should just never eat. That's why Haya was created. A super powered chewable vitamin, Haya fills in the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment our kids need with a yummy taste they love. It's non gmo, vegan, dairy free, allergy free, gelatin free, nut free and everything else you could possibly imagine. Haya is designed for kids two and up and sent straight to your door so parents have one less thing to worry about. That's one of the things I love so much is they just show up, I don't have to go and get them and we never run out because it's on a subscription. Also, not having to battle my kids to get vitamins and minerals in them makes me so happy as a parent. And guys, are you tired of battling with your kids to eat their greens? Well, Haya now has Kids Daily Greens plus Superfoods, a chocolate flavored greens powder designed specifically for kids. Packed with 55 plus whole food ingredients to support brain power development and digestion. Just scoop, shake and sip with milk or any non dairy beverage for a delicious and nutritious boost your kids will actually enjoy. And guys, I've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order to claim this deal you must go to hyahealth.com honest. This deal is not available on their regular website. Go to H I Y A H E a l t h.com honest and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Okay, then someone asked, when are you going to start a travel show with Justin and Scoot? So you want to know what's so funny? Justin and I had this idea, actually. Justin and I wanted to do a travel show together and we were going to call it like a local and we wanted to travel around and live like the locals do for a few days. And do you know what you would really do if you lived in whatever city or area? It was not do the touristy stuff. And we pitched it in the height of COVID which was one of the dumber things I've done in my life because obviously no one was going anywhere, nothing was open and there were no shows happening, especially a travel show. And at the time we were like, well, we'll just do it domestically. It won't be international. Problem solved. Covid, who cares? No, like in the pitch meetings people were like, interesting time to pitch a travel show. I think if Justin and I pitched it today, I would think it would be. I would hope it would be a different result. But again, it's like one of those things. Like a travel show would be so fucking fun. Yes, please pay me to go travel the world. That's my dream job. The problem for me is logistically none of this stuff works with my life. My life is most of the time being home with my kids. I can't travel like I could obviously pre kids. But even when I first got a divorce and my ex and I did week on, week off, obviously my schedule was way more flexible. I was traveling a lot and I don't have that kind of freedom anymore, which is a good thing. Honestly. I've always said my kids really ground me. My kids keep it so that I am not in a different country every week. Because honestly, if I didn't have kids, that's all I would do. I would be. I'd be in a different country every week. I mean, I just, I know Myself, because I do love traveling, and I do think when my kids graduate high school and they're out of the house, that is what I will be doing, I will be traveling. But it's good that I have as much responsibility as I do, because it keeps me grounded and it keeps me in bed at nine o'clock every night. And it just. It keeps me on the straight and narrow, you know, because I'm the personality that I could very easily kind of get a little crazy, and I could be out all the time, and I could be doing the damn thing, and I could be on a plane every other week, but it's good for me to not do that. So that is a dream job. Maybe when Justin and I are 50, you know, in our 50s, we'll do a travel show. I don't know that anyone's gonna want to see that, though. But I feel like the podcast tour was a little mini travel show in itself, you know, going from city to city. But, yeah, that would be fun. It's too bad we had that idea during COVID You know, things just. They haven't worked out for. For me to do a travel show. Okay. Someone asked what's on your bucket list? So, you know, what's interesting is my bucket list primarily is places I want to travel to. I really want to go to Japan. I really want to go to the Maldives. I really want to go to Spain. I've never been to Paris. There are just places that I want to go that. Again, I think it's hard right now, obviously, to go to all these places. So my dad, I think maybe I've talked about this, but my dad, when I was growing up, always said he was going to take me to Italy when I graduated high school. And I was always, you know, couldn't wait. I was so excited about it. And then it never happened. Which is fine. I. I get it. He wasn't in a financial place to take me, but there was no conversation about it. It just was, like, pretended like it didn't happen. Which I think that's one tiny, tiny instance of a much larger picture, obviously. But I think why I'm so upfront and honest and, well, just transparent is because I didn't have. I didn't. People didn't treat me as such growing up. And, you know, like, I can't stand when people just try to, like, sweep things under the rug. Like, I need to have a conversation about stuff. But anyways, I think because of that, because I was, like, so sad that it didn't happen. But also, there was no communication about it. I've told my kids that when they graduate high school, I want to take each of them on a trip. And just one on one, just me and them. And Jackson actually just told me that he wants to go to Tokyo, or, sorry, I should say Japan, but Tokyo. And he also wants to go when the cherry blossoms are in bloom, which I believe is May, and do that trip. So we actually just talked about this, like, two days ago. So I'm excited to do that. I'll take little Jaxie to Tokyo. And the other two. Oh, sailor just said she wanted to go to London. I was like, that's so fun for a mother daughter trip. I loved that idea. I love London. Oh, such a great city. And Camden does not know where he wants to go yet. So I feel like I'll check a few of those off the old bucket list when my kids graduate. And then again, I just think when my kids are out of the house, obviously I'll have way more freedom to travel. But everything else on my bucket list, I don't know, I've kind of done or I've just never had, like, a really crazy long bucket list. One of the things I always wanted to do was see the phytoplankton in the ocean. You know, when they, like, light up blue. Like, if you guys ever saw the movie the beach, you know, when they're, like, swimming in the ocean and they're like in the. The plankton, and it, like, glows, it lights up. I always thought that was so cool. And I actually got to see that in la. I think it was almost five years ago, actually, which was very cool. I took a hot air balloon ride in Italy. Like, I've done a lot of really cool things. And so. Well, you want to know what's on my bucket list? Actually, I don't know if maybe bucket list is the right place to categorize this, but I really want to do a psilocybin journey. If we're being honest, psilocybin is mushrooms, but it's a certain type of mushroom, and it's a really spiritual journey. Same world as like, an ayahuasca or like a bufo, which I've talked about my bufo experience. But how? Well, when I did bufo, how my shaman described ayahuasca and bufo to me was, ayahuasca is like taking a walk through the forest, and bufo is like strapping on a rocket ship. And I can tell you my experience with bufo was, in fact Strapping on a rocket ship. Holy. But I've heard that psilocybin is gentler and that this medicine is so intelligent and so powerful that it really knows exactly what you need. Individually, it's very different for everybody. I know a lot of people who have taken psilocybin journeys. I was supposed to do one, and every time it was approaching, there was a new reason why I couldn't do it. And that happened a few times. And then I finally thought, you know what? There's a reason why every time I'm supposed to do it, it doesn't happen. So I just. I put it off, you know, and I just thought, right now is not the time again. Like, my life right now is kids and work basically, for the most part, little fun sprinkled in. But I. It's just, this is not my. The era of my life where I'm going to be doing journeys and becoming my most hippie self. You know, Like, I envision, again, kids post graduating, you know, I envision my life as being that, like, really peaceful. I want on a. I want to be on a beach somewhere. I would like to be taking psilocybin journeys. I would like to probably not drink alcohol at all. Maybe just microdose mushroom gummies and be like, really healthy and, like, meditate and like, lay in the grass. Like, just really simple. Just a really simple, calm, peaceful life. Doesn't that sound nice? So that's why I'm trying to work my dick off right now and grind so that I can do that later in life. So there you go. A little bit about me. Okay, let's talk about dating. You guys are like, enough with the hippie shit. Here's another brand that I love so much, and that's Primal Kitchen. Let's talk about real food for a hot minute. We all know we should be eating more real whole foods, but seriously, who has the time to make sauces and dressings from scratch all the time? Not me. That's why I love Primal Kitchen condiments so much. Primal Kitchen has nailed the perfect combo of high quality ingredients and delicious flavor. So your meals will taste as real and homemade as it gets. They're not just made from real ingredients, they're also made for real food eating. My personal favorite is their original buffalo sauce. It's not too hot, but it's still super flavorful. Obviously, I use it for wings. You can use it for dips, roasted veggies even. Or drizzle it on scrambled eggs in the morning. You guys, it's so good. Another thing that I love so much about their ingredients is that they use real ingredients like avocado oil, so not seed oils. And again, their ranch dressing among others are made for dipping veggies. Or you could also drizzle their ranch dressing on pepper pizza. So if you're all about real food but need a little help making it exciting, you need Primal Kitchen condiments and sauces made with real ingredients we love. They're your secret weapon for making easy dinners of just protein and veggies taste amazing. So guys, head to Primalkitchen.com honest to save 20 off your next online order with Code Honest at checkout. That's P R I m a l kitchen.com honest and and the Code Honest Primal Kitchen products are also available in stores nationwide. So visit primalkitchen.com honest to find a location near you let's chat about fatty15 obviously, you know, being in my late 30s now, aging is a topic of conversation amongst my friends and I and I think more so than how we look, it's also how we feel feel as we get older. You know, people always talk about poor sleep, lack of energy, stiff joints and so it's really important to me to stay looking and feeling as youthful as possible. Well, I'm so excited to share with you guys C15 from Fatty 15, the first essential fatty acid to be discovered in more than 90 years. It's an incredible scientific breakthrough to support our long term health and wellness and you guessed it, aging and longevity. Based on over 100 studies, we know now that C15 strengthens our cells and is a key longevity enhancing nutrient which helps to slow biological aging at the cellular level. In fact, when our cells don't have enough C15, they become fragile and age faster. And when our cells age well, our bodies age too. Fatty 15 has three times more cellular benefits than omega 3 or fish oil. By replenishing our cells with the essential C15 nutrient, fatty 15 effectively repairs cel our long term health. And guys, best of all, you know I love it. But the jars and the refills are all shipped right to your door. Fatty 15 is on a mission to optimize your C15 levels to help you live healthier longer. You can get an additional 15% off their 90 day subscription starter kit by going to fatty15.comhonest and using code Honest at checkout. Okay, I want to take a minute and talk to you guys about ZipRecruiter. According to a recent ZipRecruiter survey, 76% of employers plan to expand headcount for 2025. Well, that's a lot of time spent hiring. If you're one of those employers who's ramping up hiring this year, do not miss out on this advice. Add ZipRecruiter's latest feature, Zip Intro to your hiring plan. It lets you post jobs today and talk to qualified candidates tomorrow. And best of all, it does most of the work for you. So you save time. And right now you can try Zip Intro for free at ZipRecruiter.com honest. Zip Intro gives you the power to quickly assess excellent candidates for your job via back to back video calls. You simply pick a time and Zip Intro does all the work of finding and scheduling qualified candidates for for you. Then you can choose who you want to talk to and meet with great people as soon as the next day. Obviously this is music to my ears. As a business owner, when you have a role that you want to fill, obviously you want to get someone in there as quick as possible, but again, you just want to make sure that you're getting high quality candidates. And so I'm so excited about Zip Recruiter because actually we are hiring at Uncommon James as well. Save time hiring for 2025 with new Zip Intro. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com/honest right now to try Zip Intro for free. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com/Honest Zip Intro. Post Jobs today, talk to qualified candidates tomorrow. Okay, let's talk about dating. So literally 85% of the questions are like, tell us about your recent dates, what happened with the last guy you were dating, your love life, update on your life in general. Boys, more crazy LA stories. Did you meet any new guys during the tour and hang out afterwards? You being back on Raya? Okay, so let's back up a titch here. I did have a lot of questions of what happened with the most recent guy I was dating, which was more like December New Year's ish time frame. So. And I'm a fucking dumbass because this is what I did. I went on Bunny's podcast and this is why guys, honestly, this is why I don't do other people's podcasts because I always say too fucking much, right? So I'm like newly dating this guy. But I was really excited about him. So I said on Bunny's podcast, well, I'm dating someone and, and I'm gonna, I'll be even more transparent with you guys. She was asking me about my ex and if I would go back and honestly, as a way to deflect, I said, no, I'm dating someone new because I didn't want to talk about my ex. And that. And that was sort of my way to, like, get off of it. But then from one fucking bullshit to the next bullshit I did to myself. So anyways, I never said his name or anything, but TikTok fucking detectives sort of pieced it together and I don't even care I said his name on tour. I really think he's such a great guy. So that's not one where I'm like, I don't want anyone to know. A really amazing guy. He is an ex hockey player. He's been retired for a couple of years now. He's a dad. He's just. He is someone who has done a lot of work on himself and we really connected on such a deep level. Honestly, one of the deeper relationships I've had, especially in such a short amount of time, I think why. That's why I was like, so excited about it and was okay to talk about it, because in a really short amount of time, we. We just like. I don't know, we didn't hold back anything. We told each other everything. It was like the most honest, pure, amazing, quote, unquote relationship I've ever had. I wouldn't consider him a boyfriend, but you know what I'm saying, Like someone that I've dated and it was mostly long distance because he lives in la and I think this happens sometimes is I'm in Nashville. Most of the guys I date do not live here. And so what ends up happening is there's a lot of voice notes, FaceTime calls, phone calls, texting, getting to know someone. And I've fallen for the idea of who this person is a few times, actually, in the last five years. And in person, the biggest thing for me that I've been missing with everyone basically, that I've dated and the reason why I haven't been in a relationship is because that attraction piece for me has to be so on fire for me to want to be with someone. I have gone out with amazing men, like men, and this guy is a good example of that, where I'm like, why can't I fall in love with you? If I could choose who I want to fall in love with, I would pick you because you are such an amazing guy. And we are firing on. On all other cylinders except for that, that flame, that peace. And I'm not out here trying to, like, I don't want you guys to get confused with me trying to chase like something toxic or like this thing, this like, spark that, you know, then eventually fades. Anyways, that's not what I'm talking about. But, like, I need in the beginning to want to rip your fucking clothes off. I'm sorry. But I do. And it's a good indication for me of, like, all of my ex boyfriends. I'm talking like, boyfriends, right? Like Steven Coletti in high school. Brody Jenner, my ex boyfriend. Nick, my ex husband. Like, Mark was a good example of that. Those are the only boyfriends I've had in my life. I've dated other people, but those are the only boyfriends I've had. And all of those guys I did, I wanted to be in a relationship. I did not want to be talking to anybody else. It was like, that was it. When I really like someone, I have eyes for no one else. And that's how I know if someone is. And if I'm dating someone and there is a conversation of like, I want you to be my girlfriend or whatever. And if I have, like, a visceral reaction to it, well, yeah, that's how I know. Even though they can be the greatest guy on the planet, that doesn't. I mean, I need both. I need compatibility and I need chemistry. And I understand what I'm looking for is rare. I get that. I'm searching. I've said it a million times. I'm searching for my perfect. And because I'm so clear about what I want, and because I. I've waited this long, I've put up with a lot of bullshit in my day. I'm just not going to settle for anything less than exactly what I want. And I'm not saying the relationship is going to be perfect. I fully understand that relationships are work. Or maybe work's not the right word. But I am looking for a partner who pushes me to be better and pushes me outside of my comfort zone. And where it's a dynamic where we are learning both how to be better people and where, like, we pick up each other's flaws. You know what I'm saying? Like. Like, whatever I'm not good at, you know, he's able to, like, help me in that area and vice versa. And like, I don't know, I just like a real partnership. And I know that that is. There are scary elements to that, because for me, like, true intimacy was always really scary for me where now that's what I want. And true intimacy to me is really letting someone into your whole inner world, like being 100% yourself. And being really vulnerable and really okay with that. And that's what I want. And that's scary for me, but I want that, and I'm going to do that. But I need someone who I want to do that with. Right? Like, if I'm half in, obviously, I don't want to do that with someone. So, anyways, after. His name was Nate. Okay, Nate. After Nate, I. I don't know. I kind of, like, he came and stayed with me for New Year's, and we had a lot of fun. It wasn't like we didn't have fun. And I was attracted to him. Like, all the. All the pieces were there. It just was like. I don't know. I, like, just didn't want to be in relationship or. I don't know. I also think there's been a piece of me, too, where I knew that leading up to the tour, that was going to be a lot of work. I didn't necessarily have time either. I think that's also been kind of a factor for me of, like, my time that I can give to a man right now is so limited. And that's obviously really hard for guys. And it's hard for me, too. Like, I don't want to be with someone where I can only hang out every other weekend, which, I mean, realistically, that's what it's going to be. Unless they live in Nashville. Then I can actually go on, like, a proper date. That's the problem. It's like, I'm dating people that don't live here. And then so it's like, okay, well, I can only travel every other weekend. And if you come into Nashville. Well, I'm not getting a babysitter with my. To leave my kids for me to go. Like, I would go to dinner, but also, like, you're not picking me up then. I don't know. It just. It gets fucking complicated, all right, with having my kids most of the time. It's not like it was a couple of years ago, which is fine. Again, this is not the phase of my life where I. I don't even want to be dating that much anymore. So what happened after Nate was I decided I was done with dating. I was like, I'm not gonna put any energy into it because I'm planning my tour. I'm not drinking. I wanna. I was like, I don't want any distractions before my tour. And I really stuck to that. I really was serious. I did not put any energy into men. I did not talk to any men. In fact, I had hot Ass men. Hot Men. DMing me on Instagram. And I did not respond. You guys would have been so proud of me. And then I went to dinner one night with Biggs, my best friend Biggs. Her husband David surprised her with a trip to Nashville. So I went to dinner with her and David and our friend, what we call him Chewy. His name is Mark Block. Very Cavalieri fans will remember him. He's our gay friend. So the four of us go to dinner, okay? And at dinner, Chewy starts talking about Raya. And I was like, I wonder if I could reactivate my account. Because, mind you, last. I don't know, it must have been when I met Mark, right? So, like, last. Over a year ago, last February. Let's just say I thought I deactivated my Raya account. I mean, because you on Raya, you can pause it or you can actually deactivate it. And I deactivated it. Like, I didn't pause it. I deleted everything off my phone. Like the whole nine, right? And so we're at dinner and I was like, I wonder if I, you know, I wonder if I could just get back on. Because it was. It's a whole process to get on from the get go. You have to be approved. Like, my agent had to help me get on because I wanted to get on immediately. Usually there's like a little wait period. So I called my agent when I applied and she. Guess I know she knows someone at Raya or something. So they were able to get me on literally, like in 24 hours, which doesn't happen, but so I knew, like, I was expecting to have to get reapproved, like, go through the whole ringer again. So we're at dinner, and I was like, I just kind of want to see. So I redownload the app, I open it up, I put in my phone number, and oh, what do you know? I'm back on Raya. I am back on Raya. It was unintentional, you guys. I just wanted to see. But what do you know? I'm back on. So, okay, I was like, well, I guess there goes that. You know, giving no boys attention. It lasted for six weeks. I was proud. But okay, so now I'm back on Raya. And the first man that pops up, guys, is a man who DM'd me on Instagram, I don't know, a couple months prior. And I saw it and I said, I'm not responding because he's an athlete. And at the time, I was done with athletes. I had made a Real. A real solid promise to myself that I was never dating another athlete ever again. Retired is a different story, okay? I just want to throw that out there. But a current player? Absolutely not. Because not only are they so fucking young, but it's just. That's not a lifestyle I ever want to go through again. Or just my life isn't conducive to that. Like, I can't date an athlete who's gone all the time. It doesn't work because I can't be on the road. So I'm on riot, and I'm like, well, fuck, man. I mean, he DM'd me, and now he's the first man that pops up on Raya. I was like, it's fate. So I hearted him back, and he DM'd me the next morning when he got it. And that reignited my Raya. Here we are, guys. So what happened was I was back with a vengeance, you know, matching with guys. It was really fun. Here's my experience with Raya, because now this is my second experience. Right? Is so much fun for the first two, three weeks. And then it's like, what the am I doing? This is a waste of my time. This is a waste of energy. Then you realize again how small the pool is. I will say, because I haven't been on in a year, there were new men, so I was excited to see some new faces on there. But now, again, I've been on it for, I guess, almost two months. I've been through all the same people numerous times now. Like, I don't even know what I'm looking for anymore. But I did end up talking to a few people. Two, I'd say, that had any real legs to it. They got off Raya, is what I should say. The rest of them, I kept on Raya. And then here's what I do. I actually. You know what? I used to feel really bad about this, but now I'm just like, whatever. Who gives a. I'll be like, kind of going back and forth with someone, and then I just stop responding. I literally. I'm just like, what is. What the. Is the point of this? You know? This is so dumb because, again, some of these people live in, like, Sweden, or I'm like, I'm never. I'm never gonna meet you. Or, like, let me know if you come to Nashville. Otherwise, like, goodbye. This is. So. I'm not doing this. But two of them made it off the app. And then what happened was I was on tour, and midway through the tour, I Just kind of same revelation where I was like, why am I giving attention to men that I shouldn't be giving my attention to? Like, I know these athletes are not my future husband, so why am I even wasting my time, you know? So I stopped responding. Just same thing. Just completely stopped responding. And I'm not saying that's what you should do. I'm just telling you what I did. And this is a new thing for me. I never was the person that would just stop responding. I always had to be like, hey, I just don't see a future. Like, hey, blah, blah, blah. And I just. It's like, I don't know. I guess this is just dating in today's day and age. And it is what it is. I would not want someone to just ghost me like that. But the one guy, there was one guy on Riot that I said that to, he actually wanted to come to Nashville. And I was like, hey. I realized, like, I am so not in a place to date at all. I shouldn't have even gotten back on Raya and blah, blah. And he was, like, pressuring me on it. He's like, oh, no. I mean, I don't want anyone. I don't want to date either. I just want someone to, like, hang out with and blah, blah, blah. And it just. It's like the times that I've tried to just be an adult and do that, they, like, don't let me just do that. So I'm like, well, I'm just not responding that. So I stopped responding to that guy, too. Anyways, really long winded answer. But I have not been on a date since. I'd say New Year's Eve was my last date with Nate. And that is. Yeah, that's the last. The last date. And I have no one on the hook currently. Had to think about that for a second. Is that an accurate statement? There's. Okay, there's one person I'm, like, sort of talking to, but he's not my future husband, let's put it that way. So there is really no one, and I'm okay with that. You know, I have this show premiering in June, I think for the next month and a half. I'm doing some fun stuff. Like I said, I'm going to Miami. I'm actually going to be at Stagecoach. What else am I doing? I don't even know, but I'm doing some fun stuff. And then May is like, the end of school for us. I'm going on a field trip with Jackson. Like, there's just Like, May is, like, a busy time with kids. And then my show premieres in June, so I just feel like the next few months are we're not putting energy into men, and then maybe we'll have a fun summer. You know, we'll see. We'll see. But I'm only going as far as June and my TV show, and then we'll see what happens. I'm still on Raya. I'm not super active. So what happens is they give you, like, I don't Even know, maybe 15 or 20 men at one time that you can filter through, and then they make you wait a little while. And so I'll occasionally go through those 15 or 20. It's very rare that I like any if I'm being completely honest. And then when they make you wait, then I'll wait days until I go back on. And if I'm, like, bored one time, then I'll go through them. But I don't know. Raya is not all it's cracked up to be. You guys, I think, well, it's probably just like any other dating app. I don't know. I mean, I don't have experience on any other ones. But dating apps, to me are weird because I'm like, I don't know. It's all about chemistry with someone, and someone's personality makes them way better looking or less better looking. And so it's hard for me to just, like, look at some pictures. And why do guys look different in every photo? I'll be on one guy's profile, and I'm like, he looks like 10 different people. I don't understand. I really don't understand. And the photos that guys choose, I'm like, what? I. I just. I want to see your face. I want to see proportionally how big your body is. You know, there's, like, few things that girls want to see. And they're, like, posting photos of their cats and, like, of palm trees. And I'm like, okay, guess you're artsy. Like, I don't. I don't know. Dating apps are weird to me. I really am manifesting meeting someone in real life, that, for me, is ideal. And so. And so, no, to back up, I did not meet anybody on tour. I did match with someone in Boston. Cute guy. He was 20 fucking 7, though, you guys. That's the other thing. I'm like, up and down this road. I know how this ends. I really don't think. I don't want to date anyone younger than me. And that was another thing with this last athlete that I was talking to, he was younger than me. And the first time we FaceTimed, I was like, you probably want kids. Yeah, he wants kids. Well, I'm not having more kids. Well, you know me. You don't know. Like, maybe when you meet someone. No, no, I know. Trust me, I know. I am not having more kids. Like, I just. So what are we doing? Like, you want your own kids. This is just, this is silly. I don't think I should date anyone younger than me. I think I should only be dating men in their 40s who have kids who are preferably a little bit older. So that's where we're at. I'm putting all that energy back into myself. Okay, look how cute this is too. That Yeti sent me. I've got. If you're watching, I have new water bottles with the let's Be honest logo, which they sent those to me. I thought it was so sweet. Okay, we'll do a couple more little questions and then I think we're gonna press pause and go into a part two, but okay. Oh, this question. When I saw this question, I was like, ugh. Could you explain as to why you've dated so much and not in a steady relationship? You know what, I would love to explain this. Because my whole life I was in relationships. From eighth grade through five years ago, I was always in a relationship. So the last five years have been my dating phase. I realize most people go through their dating phase in their early 20s, but I did not because I met my ex husband when I was 23 and I had my first baby at age 25. So I did everything a little flip flopped. And even before I met my ex husband, I just always had boyfriends. Like I've. And I, I am a relationship girl. I know I've been dating a lot, but I'm a relationship girl. That's where I'm happiest. But here's the thing, I think, because it was really, it was a lot easier for me to meet men when I didn't value myself. And I've gone through this incredible growth period in the last five years that I've had to really learn self love. And every guy I've gone out with, even if it's one date, I have taken more away of what I do and don't want for the long run in my future husband. And I think when you've made as many mistakes in love as I have, and actually I don't want to call them mistakes, how do I want to say That I don't look at any of my exes as mistakes, actually, at all. I'm really thankful to every single one. I mean that. But I think when I've had relationships that have been very difficult and I can't do that again, I'm not going to do that again. And I think part of that process for me is really learning myself and what I ultimately want and don't want in a relationship. And so the last five years has been a lot of. We're doing research. I'm doing research and development over here, you guys. Okay. And I know it seems like I've, like, been dating a lot. I think if I really, like, walked you through the last five years, it's actually not as many people as you think. I mean, well, here, I'll just. So I dated is kind of a loose word, but I dated my trainer in LA right out of my divorce, and then I dated a comedian, so dated my trainer for like, five, six months. And then I dated a comedian for five, six months in between the comedian and Mark, which is years. I mean, that was probably three years or four years. Sorry, hello? Two years. I went on. There were periods of my life where I went on a lot of dates and then I wouldn't date at all. But maybe I went on one date with someone, maybe I went on two. I mean, it wasn't like I was sleeping with all these people, which that's sort of. I feel like how people are perceiving me lately. Just because I went on a date with someone doesn't even mean I kissed them, by the way. But that's kind of it. And then I dated Mark for like seven and a half months. And since Mark, you know, I dated this ex hockey player for a month. I mean, and that's kind of it, you know, because of Raya. I've talked to people, but some of these people I've never even met. I went on four dates from Raya last fall. One of them was a lunch date. Never talked to that guy ever again. Never kissed him or anything. Trying to think of the other ones. One of them was one date and the other two were a couple dates. I mean, it. They. Nothing. Like, nothing has been serious or sticking. It's not like I've been out here just like, hoeing it up. I swear to God. In fact, that's why I've joked about finding a fuck buddy is like, Justin. And I would joke about that because the lack of sex in my life in the last five years is, like, absurd. So the image that's out there of me is very different than what's actually been happening. And, like, in the suspect video that Justin and I did, one of the names that he dropped was from when I was 19 or 20. I mean, like, it's. So anyways, it's just very silly, so. But again, I'm not in a relationship because I'm still learning exactly what I do and don't want. And I. I've. Like, I've said I've met a lot of guys. No one that has knocked my socks off where I want to settle. I'm really happy on my own. My life is really full and busy, that I don't need to be in a relationship. I actually think I'm in the best place to find the best relationship because I don't need a man. So I feel slightly attacked by that question. I feel like it's a little judgmental, but it's fine. All right, so I'm gonna press pause, and then we're gonna do a part two, and I will see you guys next week for that one. Yeah, I got all the power.