← Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari
Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari
My Birthing Stories: Pain, Pitocin, & Sushi in the Delivery Room
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The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. This is, let's be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality tv, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. All right. Hi, welcome in. I'm excited for today. I feel like today. Today is potentially a long overdue podcast, one that I'm kind of surprised I haven't talked about yet. This is a question that I get every time I ask you guys, you know, what you want to talk about. When I ask my Instagram followers, and I always have on there, talk about your birthing stories. We want to hear your birthing stories. And I've never really publicly talked about them, at least in detail. And so that's what we're going to do today. I'm going to tell you guys about all three of my birthing stories and those new days when the kids were teeny tiny and that whole phase of my life, which feels like a million years ago now. And I'm just going to get right into it because I actually do think there's a lot of information here. And because I have three kids, it's going to potentially be a very long podcast. So settle in. This one's definitely for the moms or anyone who is wanting to become a mom. You know, hopefully this will be. This will be exciting. And so it has been a minute since I've had a newborn baby, so I'm gonna have to really jog my memory and go back. So I'm gonna start in order, obviously starting with Camden, who just turned 13. So this is 13 years ago, guys, okay? So cut me a little slack if I can't remember all of the details, but okay. So, Cam, so I officially moved to Chicago from. From la when I think I was. I think I was actually like seven months pregnant with Cam. I didn't like, I mean, I was in Chicago all the time, obviously, and, you know, my now ex husband was living in Chicago, but I was still in LA a decent amount until about 7 months being pregnant. And then I made the official move. I kept my place in la, but it was like, okay, I'm actually moving now and like, brought all of my stuff. So Camden's due date was August 8th, which is actually when I had him, which is kind of cool. I know that's rare to have your baby on your actual due date. And, you know, I think you guys know my ex husband played football and training camp is. I think it's the end of July, I think, and then preseason is throughout August. And so, you know, my due date was when my ex husband was going to be at training camp. And it just sort of was what it was, you know, obviously wasn't ideal, but like, okay, here we are. And the Bears would practice. I want to say it was like 45 minutes away from Chicago, and we were living downtown at the time. Maybe 30, 45 minutes. I can't remember exactly, but somewhere in there. And so what happened was August 7th, I was having contractions, and I thought, okay, this is it. You know, this is go time. And. But they tell you. And now let's see if I can remember all of this. They tell you to time out your contractions. So what is it? It's a contraction lasting. Oh, God. What is it? I think it's a contraction that lasts for a minute every five minutes or something. I don't know. I'm probably wrong about that. It's something in that window, though. And so Jay actually ended up coming home, and I was like, I'm having contractions. But, you know, I could talk through them. I was fine. Like, I could walk. So we went for a walk through the city, and then they just sort of went away. And so I definitely had false labor. And then Jay ended up going back to training camp. I was able to sleep that night. No, Sorry, this is August 6th. This was two days before I had Cam. So then that night, I was able to sleep. August 7th, woke up totally fine. And then that afternoon, later that afternoon, it was like, oh, this is. These are contractions. This is real. And it was brutal. And so I called Jay and same thing. I was like, okay, this. It's actually happening now. It's go time. Like, I need you here with me. So he was able to come home. And I remember we were timing out my contractions, and he's like, ramming his hand into my back. Just anything to help, because they. The contractions were really bad, I have to say. And, you know, I'm like, sitting there dying, and he's like, well, you know, it hasn't been a minute every. And I was like, off. Like, literally off. So I ended up calling my doctor, and I had. Or maybe I must have called the hospital, and I was on the phone with them, and I had a contraction while I was on the phone, and that's when they were like, okay, come in, come in. Because I couldn't talk. Like, I couldn't. It was. I was like, hang on. I couldn't move. So they were like, come in. Come in. Well, we lived really close to the hospital, and so we got in, and this. I will never understand this, but you check in, and then you're, like, sitting there waiting around forever. Like, no. No urgency whatsoever. At least at the hospital I was at. And I'm like, I'm dying. You know, my contractions were pretty brutal, I have to say. So. So we get there, they finally get us into a room, and I was 5cm dilated. And I. I didn't know it was happening at the time. I was sort of unaware of what was going on because they hooked me up to all the monitors. And then all of a sudden, it was like, okay, we're going upstairs. We are going upstairs. You know, now everyone's moving. I was like, oh, look at this. You know, a little urgency, you know, a little pep in your step. That was nice to see. And as they're wheeling me into the elevator, my Doctor Shout out, Dr. Julie Barton, who's in Chicago. I don't even know if she practices anymore, but she delivered Camden Ann Jackson. She's awesome. But she was in the elevator, and I was like, oh, hey, Dr. Barton. Like, I have no idea what's going on. Okay? I just think this is status quo. Like, this is normal. And she seems a little, you know, like, a little on edge. But I. I'm just like, okay, I have no idea what's going on because also, mind you, I'm still in a lot of pain. Like, I'm still having contractions. So I think that's what. I was so focused that. And just trying to survive, quite honestly. So then they get me up to another room, they hook me up to a bunch of monitors again. And then they heard Camden's heartbeat, and everyone calmed down. And so I didn't realize because then Jay told me they couldn't find his heartbeat when we first checked in. And we were downstairs. And thank God I didn't know that, because I would have been freaking the fuck out. And so, honestly, Jay and I at the time sort of joked, and I still joke. Like, Camden knew what he was doing, and he just wanted to rush us in there and get us up to our room and get us settled. And so after he was totally fine, it was like, oh, thanks, buddy. Like, you knew what you were doing, because the wait would have been. I mean, it was long. Like, we were in the lobby waiting for a long time. Then they put us in this, like, holding room, you know, so. But thank God I didn't. I didn't Realize that. So. So then what happened was I did get the epidural. And let me preface all of these birthing stories with I was 25 when I had Camden. I would do things differently, I think, today if I were to have a baby today, but in the same breath. I remember at the time being like, I have nothing to prove. I know I'm strong, and right now I'm dying. I want the epidural. So while I think in my mind, like, in my perfect head, I'm like, if I had a baby today, it would be, you know, like a water birth, and I would do it all naturally. And. But I was dying. I mean, I was dying with Cam. And I think at the end of the day, we should never judge other moms, other women for their birthing plan and what they end up doing, because pain is different for everybody. Everyone's pain tolerance is different, but also everyone's experience is just so different. And I have. And I'm. We'll get to it. But all three of my experiences were very, very different. And. And so, you know, it just is what it is. Yes, I got an epidural. I got an epidural with all three of my kids, and I am okay with that. Again, I'm not crazy about. When you think about, you know, a drug being administered into your body, I'm sure some of it goes to your baby, and that does not make me too excited. But with Cam, I was just trying to get by, quite honestly. And what the epidural did for me was it took away the contractions, but it didn't take away the feeling of my vagina literally feeling like it was ripping in half, ripping in half. The more women I've talked to, not everyone has that experience, but, like, you guys. So I remember being like, okay, yeah, the epidural is great, but it didn't take away all of the pain. I was still suffering. I remember just laying in my hospital bed, just laying there in silence, and just a. Tears just kind of, like, running down my face, because when I'm really in pain, you won't hear a peep out of me. I suffer in silence. Like, that's just how I've always been. And so the epidural. Thank God for that, for the contractions. But it's still. I mean, it still hurt like a. Okay. But I will say, Cam, for my first especially, was a very relatively easy labor. I pushed for 20 minutes, which I know is amazing, you know, and it feels like you're pooping out the baby like that's just literally what it feels like. I ended up having Camden. I think it was about 1:30 in the middle of the night. And that kind of sucked because I was so tired, you know, I mean, I got no sleep that night. And then obviously, I mean, anyone who's a mom knows you don't get sleep well, really, your sleep was never the same ever again. My sleep to this day has never been the same since August 8, 2012. But you really, I mean, for the next, like, I'd say four months, you're really pretty sleep deprived. Okay, guys, it's that time. Let's take a minute to talk about Element. You guys know them. You guys love them as much as I do. If you're not familiar with Element, it is a zero sugar electrolyte drink mix and sparkling electrolyte water born from the growing body of research revealing that optimal health outcomes occur at sodium levels two to three times. Government recommendations. Each stick pack delivers a meaningful dose of electrolytes from free of sugar, artificial colors, or other dodgy ingredients. You guys know that I swear by electrolytes. If you're active, if you travel, if you're just living somewhere that's really hot, you can definitely benefit from electrolytes. I work out. 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Everything you need. Wayfair makes it easy to tackle your home goals with endless inspiration for every space and every budget. Find all your must haves from furniture and decor to appliances and cookware all in one convenient place. Get organized, refreshed, and back to routine. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair. Every style, every home also was so funny because, you know, with the first, you do everything by the book. I mean, each kid got a little more relaxed. So with Cam, I never had sushi once. I won't lie to you guys. Jackson and Sailor, I definitely had sushi a couple times. But Camden, I did not go near it. And so what I was really craving in the delivery room was sushi. Or what I thought I wanted was sushi. And so we did. We ended up getting sushi. And after you give birth, I mean, I don't know, this was my experience. Sushi is actually the worst thing to get. It was not good. It was not good. I think the other two, I ended up getting like a medium rare steak, you know, and like mashed potatoes. Like you want like something hearty and comforting. Sushi, in theory, sounded great because I couldn't have it for nine months, well, 10 months, really. But I wouldn't recommend sushi in the delivery room. It just, I just remember being kind of grossed out by it. I think I also had a little baby glass of champagne, which I also just didn't want. I just remember being like, I did not make the best decisions on what to have post pushing a baby out the hoo hay. So I stayed in the hospital, I think for two nights, one of them being the night I actually had Cam. And Jay actually had to leave to go to a preseason game, which must have been the night I had him. I mean, had to have been. So on August 8th, which, you know, listen, it was right in Chicago, I had Cam in Chicago. So he was just gone for like, let's call it four hours, which was fine. And then, but then I went home. And because he had to go back to training camp My mom came and stayed with me for a week. And God, thank God for my mom. I mean, I don't know how I would have done that by myself. I tried to put Cam in a bassinet in my room. And I just remember any time the kid moved a centimeter, I was awake. Like, oh, my God, what happened? Like, you know, any little thing. So I got. I got no sleep with him in my room. So I did end up moving him into his nursery. And that was a little bit better, but same thing. I mean, you know, even on the monitor, anytime he would, you know, make any little noise, I was like, I was up, I was up, you know, and as a first mom, I mean, you have no idea what you're doing. And I was 25 and none of my friends had kids. I had only been around a newborn baby, I think, one time, and it was because one of Jay's sisters actually had a baby a couple months before me. And I. Other than that, I had never even seen a newborn baby. I mean, I had no idea what I was doing. So I was having to learn as I. As I went. And I mean, I read baby books and stuff, but that doesn't even. I mean, you gotta be. This is a hands on experience, you know, and every baby is different. And so I was just going, you know, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. And in those early days, and by the way, I didn't have any help with Camden. And I'm proud of that. And I think I did it because I think I wanted to prove to some people that I could do it myself. And I'm really happy that I did. I'm really happy that I have those memories of Cam and I in the early days. And so I was exhausted, obviously, as every new mom is. And I think when you're trying to get your baby to sleep, you're, like, willing to try and do anything. And there were nights that Camden would sleep in a swing because he would stay asleep longer. And, you know, you just like, you just do what you gotta do. And ultimately, what happened with Camden was. I remember at three and a half months, I was still getting up around 3, 3:30 to give him his pacifier. I never even thought to, like, let him. Let's see if he can work it out for a minute or two, you know, I mean, again, first mom, new mom. I'm like, oh, he's awake. Okay, here. Pacifier every night, pacifier, pacifier, pacifier. And then what we ended up doing was because at three and a half months. And it was, you know, I just remember being. I was really tired. I was really, really tired. And so what we did was. Or maybe this was closer to 4 months, 16 weeks. We hired someone to come in and sleep train him. And what they ended up doing was his like 3:30am feeding that I had dropped. I don't remember when, you know, a week before or whatever it was. And then I was giving him his passy. They came in and brought back that feeding. So instead of giving him a passy or like, seeing if maybe he could work it out, they brought that feeding back. And instead of even telling me what was going on or having me nurse him, they just went in my freezer, in my. In my breast milk stash and started pulling bags out every night, which really ate away at my. My stash. And, you know, any breastfeeding mom knows that stash is freedom. And so I was. I was pretty upset about that because also I had already dropped that feeding. Like, we had worked through it, you know, like, everyone was fine. And so that was a. That was a huge bummer. But, like, okay, fine. It was what it. It was. And then they did end up sleep training him at 16 weeks, which he was easy to sleep train. That's what I mean. I think, you know, I probably didn't need to be getting up at 3, 3:30 and giving him the passy. I bet he would have, like, worked it out himself had I given him the opportunity, but I just didn't know. I just didn't know with a first baby. Oh, we forgot to talk about recovery after having a baby. Recovery after the first kid is legit. I mean, like, that. That was brutal. Those ice packs that they give you, man, I used every single one. And those granny panties. I mean, I use like, everything that the hospital gives you if you're a mom who hasn't had a baby yet. Take all the things, grab extras, get them all, because with the first baby, you are gonna want them all. I lived ice packs on the coochie coo. I just like, it was. It was brutal. The first one is brutal. I remember, like, I couldn't really sit down. It was like the just happened. That was awful. I will say the second and third, not nearly as bad. Not nearly as bad. Everything all around with multiple kids is so much easier than the first. I think your body just sort of knows. We've been here, we've done this, we know what to do. I mean, like, game changer with the other ones because, oof. That recovery Is no joke. Cam was a really good baby, and I didn't know any different because he was my first. But he was awesome. The only little bump in the road that I remember is around, like, five o' clock every night for, I don't know, maybe. Maybe a week or two. I mean, it felt like eternity. But looking back, it was probably just a week or two. But he would just cry. I mean, he would cry, and he was so upset, and I had no idea why ever. Yeah. And so I just remember that was hard. I just remember, like, you know, rocking him and, like, trying every little thing, and nothing that I did worked. And it was just sort of one of those little phases, you know, and then it just sort of works itself out. But that was the only real thing I remember with him. My memories of Cam are. It was just Cam and I against the world, living in Chicago, because I knew Biggs in the city. But, you know, Biggs was still going out all the time, and she was having fun, and she had a ton of friends. And I had a newborn baby. I mean, I didn't really. I was so tired. I was kind of on Camden's schedule. If he took a nap, you know, it was pretty likely I was taking a nap, and that was it. You know, Jay was in the football season. My mom was around, but she was in a suburb, and so it wasn't like she could just pop over. So really my memories are the first, you know, five months or so, it was just Cam and I, and we would just cruise the city. I mean, I'd put him in a stroller and we would just cruise around. There was this little juice bar that I would go to all the time. I took him over to Lake Michigan and took him for walks over there sometimes. And that was what we did. Like, Cam and I just went for a walk. So I'd put a cute outfit on him every day and, you know, take a picture. I mean, like, that was the extent of it. Like, not a lot was happening those early days. There was one time I met Biggs for brunch. Her and a few friends, and it was such a hassle, you know, with the stroller and the. The diaper bag and, like, all the things. Like, there were so many things with newborn babies that I was like, this isn't worth it to me. Like this. I'm exhausted. And I just sat down just because it's. It was so much stuff. And so, I don't know. I think when I had newborn babies, I kind of did just isolate and or hibernate is maybe the better word, and just kind of hang. Cam did go to some football games with me. And when he was really little, it was so easy. He would sleep through the games. I mean, it was kind of amazing, as loud and crazy as they are. I mean, this little baby, he would just sleep and it's really sweet. I've got some of the cutest little pictures of him at these games when he's teeny tiny and had on all of his bears gear and everything. But those are really special memories for me because it was such a moment in time in my life and I just have like this snapshot of that whole era in my head. And again, I mean, I'm just as hard as it was. I'm really happy that I had that time with Cam and I. Cause it really just felt like me and my little buddy and, you know, that that was it. And it. It was a very different experience with the other two. And so I just love that. I just love that, you know, Cam's my. Cam's my guy. And there is a special bond with that firstborn because, I mean, he completely changed my life. And I was learning how to be a mom with Cam, you know, it was like Cam and I were learning together as we went along for the ride. And him being such a good. Such a good baby, it just, it. It helped a lot, you know, it made it that much easier. So. Cam's my guy. Cam is my guy. I'm excited to talk to you guys about Foria. Maybe you remember a podcast I did a couple years ago with Keanu Reeves. She works for the company Foria, and they have the best intimacy products, which I'm excited to talk to you guys about. Foria is here to help you have really good sex and more of it. The kind that makes you feel nourished, juicy, and fully alive. 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I think if I were to choose between the epidural and getting induced, I would go epidural over being induced. I'll tell you why I did it. I did it because now we're up north, and so we have to drive into Chicago. The traffic in Chicago is horrendous sometimes, you guys. Well, not sometimes. It always is. Chicago is horrendous. Horrible traffic. And now we have Camden. And so, you know, once it's go time and everyone was saying, you know, your second one comes faster, and I'm like, well, Camden already came pretty quickly, so holy, this Jackson's gonna come really fast. And so logistically, it was like, okay, well, we need to have someone lined up to watch Cam. We want to be able to get to the hospital. I don't have this baby in the car. And it just sounded like, okay, this is sort of great. Hey, if you can do this, then awesome. So we ended up being induced. Jay and I went and stayed in the city the night before, had, like, our, you know, last little date night, and then went to the hospital early. I want to say maybe around 6am we got there, we knew Cam was taken care of. You know, everyone was safe, everyone was good. And I will say, I mean, it was a pretty seamless experience. I got there, they gave me Pitocin, and then I'm pretty sure I got the epidural right away, so I never even experienced contractions, which, hey, was pretty nice, not gonna lie. I also don't really remember the feeling of my vajayjay ripping in two, I think, again, because it's the second one now, your body again. I just sort of knows what it's doing. And so I really look back at this experience, and it was really easy. Like, really easy. And, you know, would it have been that easy had I not been induced? Probably not, but I don't know. I. I'm not crazy about the fact that I was induced. And that's my own personal thing. I know a lot of women do it. And, hey, again, we all should just do what works for us. And. And this. Listen, at the time, this worked for me. So it is what it is. I got to the hospital, let's say, around 6:00am and I had Jaxie around 11:00am you guys, I pushed twice. Like, when I tell you, I actually pushed twice. I am not exaggerating. I'm not exaggerating. And I still joke. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. You know what I'm saying? Picking up what I'm throwing down, like, yeah, that's great, but also, like, is it great? I don't know. But he was the easiest labor and delivery on the planet, and he was a really hard baby. So maybe. Maybe that was the universe just being like, we're gonna make this a breeze because the next eight years with him are gonna be really tough. And I love my little Jaxie, but, man, he was a really hard baby. And he was kind of hard until he was about 8. And, yeah, so he was in the. The problem was when he was a baby, he had really bad eczema. And I think he was just so uncomfortable. I used to have to put socks on his hands because he would scratch and itch at himself so much. And it really broke my heart. I mean, an eczema is. Is really, it's allergies. And I think it's mostly gut related, which from some of the stuff that I've read, it really started with me, you know, being in. In my womb. And that kind of breaks my heart that. I don't know. Had I gotten my gut checked and really focused on my gut health, could it have made a difference with Jaxie? Maybe. I mean, I'll never know. I will say I did anything and everything I could to help this kid's eczema. And in fact, because I really did not want to give him a steroid cream. And finally, at like eight and a half months, we went in, we did get him a steroid cream. It had pretty much cleared by then, but it was just like a couple little patches. And that steroid cream, I will say it, it got rid of it. And I think we only had to use it a couple times. And then he luckily has completely outgrown it. Thank God. Thank God. But it was really bad. And like, I look back at photos of him and he always had those super red cheeks. And like, I think he was just. He was so uncomfortable. And I mean, this kid. Well, this kid has also always had fomo, even when he was little. I mean, he would only take three 30 minute naps, you guys. 30 minutes on the dot. This kid is up no matter what, no matter where we are. No, not. Nothing mattered. No outside circumstances mattered. This kid only took 30 minute naps. And I'd be like, oh, please. But he. I mean, he just, he cried a lot. He was really uncomfortable. And you know when they can't talk and they can't tell you what they're thinking and feeling, I mean, it can be so hard. It can be so frustrating. And this kid getting even, just getting him down for a nap, I mean, God, it was hard because he just. He would cry. He was just crying and he was. He was miserable. It was like he was afraid to close his eyes and take a nap because he didn't want to miss out on what was going on. And that carried through. I mean, that carried still. He is still like that because this kid. Well, okay, here. Well, here's what I'll tell you. So Jackson was also very different because now I had help during the day. We had this girl, Nicole, we used to call her Coco. And she would come. It was kind of a weird schedule because she was in nursing school, but she came. It was like Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. And it was like 7am until 2pm or something. The weekends, I didn't have any help. And then. But I did have a night nurse with Jackson. And we started. It was just. I think we did it twice a week when we first had him. And once I experienced the night nurse and then not having the night nurse, I was like, oh, this is real. This is real. This is harder. It would have been easier had I never experienced the night nurse. So we ended up Julie Shout out Julie in Chicago. We ended up using her then every night. And I will say that is. I am so thankful that I. I was able to have a night nurse with Jackson and Sailor because it makes a huge, huge difference. I realize how lucky I am, and I understand that's a massive privilege. Totally get that. Because, you know, Julie would bring me Jackson in bed so that I could nurse him, and then she would take him when I was done. I mean, I. I understand how lucky I was. I totally get that. Not having to change their diaper and rock them back to sleep and everything. Not to not have to actually get out of bed. I have to get out of bed to go pee. But, like, you know what I mean? I didn't have to get out of bed. That was money. So, yes, I'm fully aware of how lucky I am. And yeah, I get that. But. So we did sleep train him at 16 weeks. And while I didn't have to do it myself, our room was next to Jackson's room, and I heard everything, and that was pretty tough. Not gonna lie. That's hearing them cry like, that actually kind of broke my heart. It, like, really kind of broke my heart. But it worked for a while. But Jackson's FOMO is stronger than the sleep training because what ended up happening once Jackson could walk so well, he. All my kids walked at 10 months, but, like, let's say, like, right after a year when he realized, oh, wait, I can get out of my bed. Because what we did was all of the kids are about a year and a half apart, so we would, you know, when Jackson was coming, we transferred Cam into a bed that had the. Like, the guardrails, but it was like, part of the bed design. And so, you know, he couldn't roll out of it, but there was, like, a little spot at the end of it that then he could get out of it in the morning when he needed to. And so then when Sailor was coming, same thing, you know, we moved Jackson into this bed probably a little bit earlier than we normally would have, but we didn't want to buy A new crib. So we just, like, kept transferring everyone over. And so Jackson was in this bed when he was okay. So I. Actually, it would have been about a year and a half when Sailor was born. And so once he realized he could get out of this bed, he came in my room. I'm not kidding, guys. Every single night for four years. I'm not joking. Every single night for four years. We would bring him back. He would come back. I mean, it didn't matter. We did and tried everything, and we were so tired because, again, now we have two toddlers, and now we have a newborn baby, Sailor. And I'm still. Again, like, listen, I know I have a night nurse. I'm still waking up, and I'm nursing Sailor. And now here comes Jackson every single. And, you know, really, you can say you haven't really slept when your kids are little like that. Like, you haven't really slept. Let's just call it what it is. And so I would be so tired that I would be like, just get in. Okay, get in, Jackson. Get in. And so four years. What ended up happening with Jackson was he started sharing a room with Camden, and then that. That. That all of a sudden, it just stopped. He stopped coming in my room. But I've told you guys, I do let him sleep with me now. It's one night a week. So when school started, I told Jackson and Sailor, you guys get one night a week with me. I can't. We can't do every other night. Because for a lot, for a while, we've been doing every other night. And I finally was like, guys, I need a night by myself. And, yes, I have every other weekend. But, you know, it's like, I. I also need a minute to myself. And the problem with them sleeping with me, because I actually do enjoy sleeping with them, really, the problem is in the morning, if. Because I usually. I get up before them, and then I have to be so quiet in my bathroom, like, brushing my teeth and washing my face and, like, getting dressed. And so I. I want to be able to have the freedom to, like, move about my room and get dressed in the morning without worrying about waking someone up. So really, maybe it's kind of selfish, but that's kind of why. But so it's funny because, you know, when you have multiple kids, you realize who they are from the moment they're born is really who they are. And of course, you know, circumstances and the outside world and different experiences will shape them, but the core of who they are, they came into this world with. And, I mean, Jackson is my best example. All three of my kids are a great example of that. But Jackson is a really good example of that because he has always had this FOMO from a really early age. She doesn't really like being alone. And he is my one kid that always, always wants to be with friends, wants to be doing this, wants to be doing that. Like, he really doesn't like having alone time. And that has always been true. It's just kind of cool, I think, and interesting to see as they get older, how those little qualities that they came into this world with stick. You know, they're. They're very true to who they are. And then we have my little say baby. So, Sailor, I was also induced with. And this time I was induced with her because. So I had her November 23rd. Her due date must have been. So I was induced with Jackson and sailor at 39 weeks. So her due date was a week later. But the problem was that week was Thanksgiving, and Jay was going to be in Green Bay playing them on Thanksgiving Day, which means he was going to be gone Wednesday and Thursday. And I think my due date was Monday. And so I'm like, with my luck, you know, this baby is gonna come right when Jay is in Green Bay. And I'm sorry, but I don't want to have a baby with my mom. Like, I love my mom, you know, but I don't want my mom in the delivery room. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I just. There was no one else I wanted to be with other than my husband at the time, and. And I didn't want to do it alone. I can't even imagine having a baby alone. If there is anyone listening who's had a baby by themselves, like, holy, you are the most badass, strongest woman on the planet. I can't even fucking imagine. So I was like, I'm not. No. Like, I'm sorry, but I want my husband there. So we got. So I got induced the Monday of Thanksgiving, and now again, we're living in Lake Forest, which is north of Chicago. And I actually ended up having Sailor in Lake Forest. Great experience. It was just way easier, you know? Now I've got two toddlers, and it just. It just made more sense, you know, than going down to the city, even though I loved my experience at Northwestern with my doctor and everything. But so, same thing. I mean, listen, I get the appeal to being induced, because both experiences were really a breeze. Same thing. I think I was there at, like, 6:00am or so sailor, I had around 1:00pm so it was a little bit longer of a labor than Jackson, but not by much. And I. I pushed for like two minutes, two to three minutes, let's say again, not very long. It wasn't just two pushes, but it was very quick. I did get an upper draw with Sailor. I mean, same thing. It was like, you know, why fix something if it ain't broke? You know what I'm saying? And it was a breeze. It was a breeze. We used the same night nurse with Sailor Julie. And again, here's the thing. Jay was in the middle of the football season, you guys, And I had two little kids. I mean, Camden was three and Jackson was a year and a half. And now I have a newborn baby. I mean, that would have been really hard to just do completely on my own. And I don't even. Listen, everything aside, I don't feel like I have to defend myself for having a night nurse. Listen, I had the means to do it. I did it, you know, and so it just is what it is. And I, again, I know how lucky I am. And I know not everyone gets to do that. It doesn't make me less of a mom, though, I can tell you that. And I was essentially by myself, you know, raising these three little kids. And I remember that phase. Oh, my God, it was like every day we just have to do one thing. We have to leave the house. One. One thing a day. And most of the time that was going to Target or the park or the grocery store or, you know, like, not doing a lot of big things. But, like, I knew we had to leave the house one time today, one time today, because it just broke the day up. It just helped with the time. You know, it's like when your kids are little, the days are really long, but the weeks and the months go by so fast. But those are long days. And again, I was primarily by myself with three little kids. I mean, I had three kids, three and under. That was. It was a lot. It was basically a blur. I blacked out. I don't remember a lot of it. And we did do play dates. Two of my really good friends, who are still my friends, I had met them. I met them in a Mommy and Me class with Jackson. So which was great timing for me, you know, having these little guys, because they would come over and. And we were all in the same phase of life. You know, that's the key when your kids are little, is finding people that are in the same phase of life because it just. So that you can get all the kids together, and it just breaks up the day. And Cam was in preschool. When did Camden start preschool? Must have been four, three or four. I mean, there was a great school that we were at, Country Day in Lake Forest. We absolutely loved that school. That was a really great preschool. So I would take him in the morning, and then, God, I honestly can't remember when I would pick him up. I don't think it was all day, though. And when it started, it was only, I want to say, like, twice a week or something, but, God, now I can't remember. I can't remember that schedule. I also lived and died by my kids schedules when they were babies until they dropped their naps, like, that was it. Well, even after they dropped their naps, though, bedtime, like, I was home, you know, I just. I don't know. I found that my kids were in better moods, obviously. I think when kids are sleep deprived, that's when they're just so cranky, and it's hard to. To bounce back from that. And overtired babies are even harder to get to sleep. And so I just. I don't know. I think I also love a schedule. I really appreciate structure and routine. And so when my kids were little, that was it. It was like, I can't go to that thing because, you know, it's Sailor's nap time or whatever. And obviously, when you have three kids, I remember with Sailor, like, it was tough because now I have these other kids, two kids. And, you know, by then, Camden had for sure dropped his nap. And I think Jackson was probably taking one, but Sailor was taking three at first, you know, and it was like, you know, guys, sorry, I know we're at the park, but, like, Sailor has to get home for a nap. And, you know, everyone kind of had to bend for the baby for Sailor. But I don't regret that at all. It hasn't been until the last couple of years that with bedtime, we'll push it. If we're out and we're having fun, it's like, okay, the bedtime we can be way more relaxed about. But when they were young, I. The schedule was everything. Lived and died by it. And my memories of Sailor when she was a newborn baby are. That phase of my life is so interesting because I had Sailor on Monday, and my brother went missing on Friday, and for two weeks. So while, you know, while Sailor was two weeks old, you know, we didn't know where my brother was, and I felt like I was one on one of those shows. Like, Unsolved Murder Mysteries. And, you know, it was bizarre because I had a newborn baby that I obviously had to show up for day in and day out and be strong for. And I had two toddlers, too. Two. Well, Jackson was a baby as far as I'm concerned. Also, year and a half year, a baby, and my brother's missing. You know, my. I remember my mom would come over, and we'd be trying to, like, piece it together, and, you know, I think we. We knew deep down that he probably wasn't alive, but we didn't know for sure until we found his body. And so it was weird. And then I'll never forget it. I had just hooked Sailor up to my boob to nurse her, and my dad called me and he told me that they had found Mike's body. And I mean, like, that high and low was one of the craziest things I've ever experienced. You know, it's like, just found out that my brother did, in fact, die. You know, which we all suspected. But, you know, until you have evidence, you know, you kind of want to hold out a little bit of hope. And then I had this newborn baby, and who was, like, the most incredible baby on the planet. And Sailor was the biggest, best baby on the planet. God, she was the best baby on the planet. And I think. I think her sweet little soul. And the universe knew, between my brother dying and then When Sailor was 8 weeks old, I got into a car accident, and I dislocated my elbow. Like, I couldn't. Like, if Sailor was a bad baby, I don't know what the hell I would have done. And again, I mean, Jay's. In the football season, like, it was really hard for me. And when I dislocated my elbow, I was in a cast for a few days, which I was supposed to be in it longer, but Jay cut me out of it because he said that blood flow is actually the most important thing, which I do agree with, but I couldn't. Look, I was nursing Sailor, and I couldn't put her up. I couldn't, like, hold her by myself. I had to have. Every time I nursed her, which obviously is every two hours, someone had to help me. Someone had to put her up to my boob and help me. And that was really hard. I mean, God, I remember when I got into the car accident and the paramedics came, and they were cutting me out of my jacket, and I just remember being like, I have a newborn baby. Like, I can't. Like, I can't this can't be happening. Like, I'm nursing her, like, I can't do this. And they were, I was like in shock, but being like, no, this can't be happening to me right now. And that. So that was a crazy time. But God, Sailor was such a good baby and I'm so thankful for that. I'm so thankful for that. And you know, here's what I will say to new moms is enjoy that time because you don't get that time back. And I really pushed myself with Camden and Sailor at when they were both seven weeks old. Well, Sailor I guess was nine weeks old, but Cam, when he was seven weeks old, I went to LA with my mom and I had multiple photo shoots back to back. And that same trip I went to dinner with some friends and it was my first night drinking. And you know, you're like, first night drinking and with your friends and being out is so much fun, even though I'm like, I'm fucking sleep deprived. But I'm going to be pushing it, you know, on this end too, which was a horrible idea. And then after working for a few days in a row, my mom, Camden and I took the red eye from LA to New York to go. Do I remember exactly what it was? I think I had to go to some event or something. I think I was. I think I was presenting someone an award, an event. I can't remember exactly, but like, what the was I thinking that was so draining on me with a seven week old baby? And I just. I don't know, I don't know what I was thinking that I was like, that was the dumbest thing I've ever done. God. And then Jackson, I think I chilled because I had him in May and then it was like moved right into summer. And so I think I was able to kind of like chill with Jaxie and then with Sailor, same thing I. When she was nine weeks old. So right after I dislocated my elbow. Okay. I'm like, I'm going to LA in a couple days and I've got all these photo shoots and all these things I have to do. And I did. I still went to LA with Sailor. Mind you, I had to bring Julie, who was my night nurse at the time, who also kind of like was my, you know, nanny, night nurse, slash, nanny, whatever. And she came with me because I couldn't even hold Sailor by myself. But my arm had been cut out of my cast, but I couldn't straighten my arm. So I always had this little bend to my Left elbow. And I had multiple photo shoots, and you. I mean, I'd have to pull up these photos, but in these photoshoots, you can see I can't straighten my arm. I don't. I don't have, like, the movement, the flexibility. Like, you can tell I'm pretty stiff in all of these photos. But I did them. I did them and I had multiple photoshoots back to back. But again, like, why. Why couldn't I just be like, hey, you know what? I have a newborn baby. I'm actually going to take three months, like, a proper maternity leave. And I don't know, I just dislocated my elbow and, oh, I don't know. My brother just recently passed away. I'm gonna just take a minute. Like, what the was wrong with me? That's just one of those things. Like, God, I guess I was running, man. I was running from something, and I know what I was running from. But, you know, you guys feel me. I just. I. I had to just be going constantly to avoid the inevitable, if you understand what I'm saying. But I guess in that sense. So I guess what I'm saying is, if you can take those three months and hibernate and just snuggle with your newborn baby and just be in sweats every day, don't put makeup on, put your hair in a ponytail. Like, who gives a shit? Enjoy that time and give yourself some real grace. I think what I remember from the early days is the mom shaming and the judgment is so real. And moms love to tell you what you should be doing and what you're doing wrong and why what they're doing is right. When. Listen, every kid is different. And I've had to mother all three of my kids very differently, especially when they were little. But even today, and no one knows better than you as the mom of your children, there is not one person that can come in and tell you how to be doing things differently, because we know. And also, unless I'm asking you for advice, I don't fucking care, okay? So keep your opinion to yourself. Thank you very much. It doesn't matter. And also, why do you feel like you have to be putting your opinions on me constantly? I really feel like people who are the ones that are going around telling everyone what they should be doing differently, it's because they actually are. I think it's coming from a place of fear that they're actually not doing something right. Because I'm over here pretty fucking confident that what I've been doing as A mom is working. It's worked. It has worked. It is working. And so I don't need to tell. I don't know. It just, like, doesn't even cross my mind. I don't feel the need to tell you what you should be doing differently, because I know you'll figure it out, and I know that you know what's best for your kids. Unless you ask me for advice, and that's different. Then I'm more than willing to share my experience. But I don't know. I just think the mom shaming really needs to end. And again, and that's kind of what I was saying earlier in that, you know, whatever a mom chooses to do for her birth plan or even raising her kids, why do you care if it doesn't affect your life? You know what I'm saying? Like, if we want to shame another mom for inducing or getting an epidural, why the do you care? This is not your kid. And that's, like, everything in life. And that's, like, my biggest thing is, like, if it doesn't affect you, why do you care? Again, because that's about them. That's not about you. As a mom, Listen to your gut. I mean, that's the only thing. As a mom, that's the only real advice I would give you is listen to your gut, especially when they're little. And really, I know everyone says it, but it does go by so fast. So fast. So even though it's really, really hard, enjoy it. Enjoy it. Because I would do anything, anything to have my kids at ages 2 or 3, just, like, just to hold them. Like, I literally would do anything. I would do anything. So enjoy it. Just know everything is a phase. Everything is a phase. This, too, shall pass. And enjoy the snuggles while you have them. Okay, you guys, I will see you next week, and we're gonna stay sort of on the nostalgic topic, and I'm gonna tell you guys about a lot of the dumb that I did growing up when I was in middle school and I started getting into trouble because it's absolutely ridiculous and entering that phase with my kids. All right, I love you guys. I'll see you. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.