Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari
Episode: Our Friendships Require Maintenance
Release Date: August 19, 2025
Overview
In this solo episode, Kristin Cavallari returns in refreshingly candid form to reflect on the role, challenges, and joys of adult friendships. She opens up about her own core crew, discusses how friendships evolve through life stages, what makes a truly great friend, and offers heartfelt perspective on how to show up for friends—especially through hard times like divorce. Kristin's warmth and humor make this an engaging, relatable dive into the maintenance required for real connections.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Kristin’s Life Lately: Family Updates & Routine
- Back to School: Kristin’s kids started school unusually early this year. She shares her love for the routine school brings after a relaxed summer.
- “I thrive on a routine. I thrive on structure. And it’s fun for a few months to kind of sleep in... But I like knowing what’s coming.” (01:52)
- Football Mom: Both her boys, Camden and Jackson, are playing football, but due to their ages and sizes, she’s less nervous this year.
- “I hate to say I’m happy about that, but I’m happy about that.” (05:10)
- Birthday Tradition: Camden, her eldest, turned 13 and chose to celebrate with a one-on-one date night with Kristin, which she treasures.
- “To me that’s a huge win as a parent—that my kids want to spend time with me. [...] That makes me feel like I did something right as a parent.” (07:45)
Main Theme: The Nature of Adult Friendships
Why Talk About Friendships?
Prompted by a question at a Today Show panel about supporting a friend during a divorce, Kristin decides to dedicate this episode to adult friendships: how they’re forged, maintained, and why some endure.
Who Are Kristin’s Best Friends?
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Justin: Her best friend in Nashville for nearly 20 years, described as her “rock,” with their deepened bond forming 7-8 years ago.
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Stephanie “Biggs” Beagle: Chicago-based, met in LA in early 20s, known for her instant, open warmth.
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LA Crew: Brittany (high school friend), Charlene (met post-high school), and Brooke (recently reconnected with after early-20s friendship faded and returned).
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Franklin, TN friends: Jenny Lee and Casey, made in last four years through her children’s school. Kristin celebrates that meaningful new friendships can happen at any stage.
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Kim and Kelly: Chicago “Mommy and Me” friends, keeping up friendships made in kid-centric circles.
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Pip: Longtime friend and former TV colleague, now living in Australia, with whom Kristin coordinates quality visits during rare free time.
“If you haven’t had a lot of long-lasting friends, to me, that’s a bit of a red flag... I love when there is a guy who’s been able to maintain friendships for a really long time. To me, that is a green flag.” (11:20)
Making Friends as an Adult & Mom
- Forming mom-friendships, especially in new cities or phases of life, can feel harder than dating.
“You’re like speed dating moms... do I want my kids around this woman? Like, it’s wild. It’s worse than dating.” (26:30)
- Genuine, comfortable connections are rare, but possible—even in random classes or later in life.
“I’m 38, and I think at like 34, I made two of my best friends—so this can happen.” (29:04)
What Makes a Good Friend?
Kristin’s Qualities
- Comfort & No Judgment: Ability to be “100%” herself—total openness; wants to give and receive support without fear.
“I want to be able to be myself and to tell you everything... That’s just how I roll.” (32:02)
- Unconditional Loyalty: Her high school joke about helping friends hide a body—she means it metaphorically as an adult.
“Ride or die—no matter what you do, I’m showing up for you.” (33:18)
- Honesty/Authenticity: Doesn’t want “yes people”; values friends who disagree or push back, but still support.
“I want someone to be authentic, be themselves, have an opinion, disagree with me, tell me if I’m being a fudging idiot. That is a real friend.” (39:05)
- Empathy (not Sympathy): The ability to empathize—not just offer condolences, but to really join and understand the other’s emotional space.
“Never say, ‘I’m sorry.’ No one wants sympathy...they want empathy. Empathy is when you are sitting in it with me.” (43:09)
- Honoring Differences: She loves and needs her friendships with men (like Justin) and women—each offer something unique.
How to Show Up for a Friend Going Through Divorce—or Any Hard Time
- Be There Without Judgment: Allow friends to talk as much as they need, repeat themselves, or process in cycles.
“What I needed was a safe place to talk as little or as much as I needed to, where if I needed to talk about the same thing ten times, my friends weren’t like, ‘Girl, we talked about that.’” (57:54)
- Show Up Physically (if Possible): Shares a story of her friends flying to LA during Covid, gathering for a night in, “reminding me what it was like in our early 20s.”
- Memorable: “They got really drunk with me and they stayed up late with me... That is a night I will remember for the rest of my life.” (01:03:50)
- Consistent Check-Ins: Acknowledge that the hardest moments may come weeks or months later when the crisis seems to have passed.
“It’s consistently showing up for a long period of time... A lot of the emotions will probably hit later.” (01:12:35)
- Top Takeaway: Listen, be there, and have empathy—whether the trauma is divorce, grief, job loss, or just a breakup.
Navigating Friendship Maintenance as an Adult
- Energy & Time Limitations: As a mom and busy professional, free time is precious and prioritized for close friends and for necessary alone time.
“My free time I do have, I want to see my really good friends... I also need alone time. That is how I recharge my batteries.” (01:20:22)
- Setting Boundaries Gently: Struggles with how to express to new acquaintances that time is stretched thin, but encourages honesty.
- Alone Time is Essential: She even schedules “Keep Empty” days on her calendar to protect personal down time.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On friendship reflecting your values:
“Friends really are a reflection of who you are as a person.” (09:48)
- On the importance of expressing appreciation:
“Taking one extra second and just being like, ‘Hey, I just want you to know how much you mean to me, and I can’t imagine life without you.’ ... It makes my day.” (01:31:55)
- On the long arc of healing from divorce:
“It probably took me a solid three years to like, fully, fully close the door on my divorce.” (01:16:56)
- On adult friendship logistics:
“Most of my best friends do not live by me...so when I do have [time with them], it’s really valuable to me.” (01:25:22)
Important Segment Timestamps
| Segment | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------------|---------------| | Starting routine after summer | 01:30–05:30 | | Camden’s birthday and parenting reflections | 06:18–09:15 | | Introduction to topic: adult friendships | 09:35–11:05 | | Listing and backstories of core friends | 11:20–22:22 | | Making “mom friends” as an adult | 25:40–30:00 | | What makes a good friend | 32:00–41:35 | | Empathy vs. sympathy | 43:05–45:00 | | Supporting a friend through divorce | 57:54–01:16:56| | Sustaining friendship maintenance | 01:18:40–01:30:10| | Importance of small, repeated gestures | 01:31:55–end |
Final Thoughts & Invitation
Kristin closes with a call to cherish core friendships, actively make the effort to appreciate them, and keep faith that “your people” will come at any life stage:
“If you have those good friends, hold on to them tight, and if you don’t just know that they’re coming... I think throughout your whole life.”
Summary
This episode is a warm, honest meditation on the real work (and joy) of friendship. Kristin shares vulnerable personal experiences and practical advice on sustaining connections, managing boundaries, and being the kind of friend she wants to have—offering empathy, honesty, and loyalty. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your crew, navigate life transitions, or show up better for loved ones, Kristin’s stories and insights invite listeners to cherish the power of true friendship.