Talking about Guys to Stay Relevant with Justin Anderson

Summary

Podcast Summary: Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari Episode: Talking about Guys to Stay Relevant with Justin Anderson
Release Date: January 14, 2025

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1. Welcome and Personal Updates

Kristin Cavallari kicks off the episode with her signature candidness, welcoming listeners and reuniting with co-host Justin Anderson. The conversation begins with light-hearted banter about the recent snowfall in Tennessee, highlighting the state's lack of infrastructure for handling snow. Kristin shares her relief that the snow didn't result in a school closure, remarks that such weather would be a "joke" in Chicago compared to Tennessee's response.

Notable Quote:

Kristin Cavallari [00:35]: "Tennessee will shut down the schools. The whole city shuts down with a dusting of snow. Because we just, we're not. We don't have the infrastructure for it."

2. Family Life and Activities

The duo transitions to discussing family dynamics, particularly Kristin’s children adjusting back to school after a long break. They reminisce about a recent six-course sushi dinner (Amakase) Kristin hosted for her birthday, marveling at how her kids gracefully handled the lengthy meal. Justin shares anecdotes about his son Camden's diverse music interests, showcasing the generational gap in musical tastes.

Notable Quote:

Justin Anderson [04:03]: "It's like these young bands that I'm like, no, I'm gonna wait for, like, Imagine Dragons or whatever."

3. Podcast Development and Authenticity

Kristin and Justin delve into brainstorming future podcast ideas. Justin proposes a more intimate interview style, aiming to elicit genuine, unfiltered responses from Kristin without the gloss of public relations speak. Kristin emphasizes her commitment to authenticity, explaining how her podcast allows her to stay true to herself while avoiding the pitfalls of traditional media appearances.

Notable Quote:

Kristin Cavallari [05:54]: "I have found that my podcast is very similar to when I was on TV, where it just, like, keeps me out there."

4. Navigating Public Perception and Media Scrutiny

A significant portion of the discussion centers on Kristin’s relationship with the media and public perception. She reflects on the challenges of maintaining authenticity in the face of relentless scrutiny, especially after recent headlines that misrepresented her remarks. Kristin shares her strategy of consistently trusting her gut and setting boundaries to protect her mental health.

Notable Quote:

Kristin Cavallari [09:10]: "Each experience that you have in love will change you. They all do."

5. The Impact of First Love and Heartbreak

Kristin opens up about her first love and the profound impact it had on her approach to relationships. She recounts how early heartbreak led her to preemptively shield herself by ending relationships before they could cause her pain. This protective mechanism, while unintentional, shaped her interactions and emotional boundaries in subsequent relationships.

Notable Quote:

Kristin Cavallari [26:53]: "I decide to break everyone else’s heart before you can break mine."

6. Personal Growth and Overcoming Fears

The conversation shifts to personal development, with Kristin highlighting her growth in decision-making and public speaking. She credits her podcast and various professional endeavors with helping her conquer longstanding fears, such as public speaking anxiety. Kristin underscores the importance of pushing oneself out of comfort zones to achieve personal milestones.

Notable Quote:

Kristin Cavallari [19:18]: "I’ve had to learn how to trust my gut. Anytime I didn’t listen, my gut was always right."

7. Building and Maintaining Authentic Relationships

Kristin and Justin discuss the evolution of their friendships, particularly how deeper connections are formed through honest and meaningful conversations. They contrast their current relationships with more superficial connections from their earlier years in Hollywood, emphasizing the value of authenticity and mutual support in sustaining long-term friendships.

Notable Quote:

Kristin Cavallari [43:54]: "I have to."

8. Self-Love and Emotional Well-being

In the final segment, Kristin addresses the topic of self-love, sharing her journey towards embracing and loving herself. She attributes her progress to practices like journaling, hypnotherapy, and mindful self-reflection. Kristin encourages listeners to engage in activities that promote self-awareness and emotional healing, emphasizing that self-love is crucial for overall well-being.

Notable Quote:

Kristin Cavallari [52:23]: "I have found love for myself. It comes with knowing who you are and overcoming your fears."

9. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Kristin concludes the episode by reaffirming her commitment to living authentically and inspiring others to do the same. She reflects on the balance between maintaining a public persona and staying true to oneself, ultimately asserting that her podcast serves as a platform for genuine self-expression.

Notable Quote:

Kristin Cavallari [49:45]: "I think at the end of the day, you don't have to. Because, I've always been me, you know."

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Key Takeaways

• Authenticity is Paramount: Kristin emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself amidst external pressures and media scrutiny.
• Personal Growth Through Experience: Both Kristin and Justin highlight how life experiences, including challenges and heartbreaks, contribute to personal development.
• The Value of Self-Love: Engaging in self-reflection and self-care practices is crucial for emotional well-being and resilience.
• Meaningful Relationships Over Superficial Connections: Building deep, authentic relationships provides long-term support and fulfillment compared to transient, surface-level interactions.

Conclusion

In this episode of Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari, listeners are treated to an unfiltered and intimate conversation that explores personal growth, authenticity, and the complexities of relationships. Kristin's openness about her experiences and her unwavering commitment to living authentically offer valuable insights for anyone seeking to navigate the challenges of maintaining relevance while staying true to themselves.

Transcript

[Kristin Cavallari]

The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. This is, let's be honest with Kristin.

[Justin Anderson]

Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Reality tv, wellness, family, and so much more.

[Justin Anderson]

And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Cause I got all the power. Yep. Welcome in, guys.

[Unknown Guest]

Hi.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I feel like it's been a minute. Justin Anderson is here.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm here. It's snowing outside.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It is snowing.

[Justin Anderson]

It.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's the second snow of the year for us, actually.

[Unknown Guest]

But it's a beautiful little flurry.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, nothing is sticking. I actually, I was worried this morning that school was maybe going to get canceled because there's any sort of ice. Like, Tennessee is not prepared for snow. Chicago, this would be a joke. But Tennessee will shut down the schools. The whole city shuts down with a dusting of snow. Because we just. We're not. We don't have the infrastructure for it.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, I like that. Infrastructure.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Infrastructure for it.

[Unknown Guest]

I also just like, what was the word yesterday you were asking me to try to.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Was it.

[Unknown Guest]

She was voice noted me and she was messing up a word, like, over and over in my head, like, oh, my God, just skip it. I know what you're trying to say. And then she, like, stopped.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was determined.

[Unknown Guest]

And then she texted me. She's like, can you pronounce that word for me? So that I wrote it back to her. What was the word?

[Kristin Cavallari]

This is going to drive me.

[Unknown Guest]

It's going to be far back with so the dumbest.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's one of the words that I mess up all the time. By the way, though, do you like. Do you have any words that you always fuck up? I have to find this now.

[Unknown Guest]

I can't think of the word that I mess up all the time. But there are some. I mean, well, with my lisp, I mess up a lot. You know, there's certain words that I kind of skirt around. I'll. I'll try and skip certain words.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I really hope that we get something.

[Unknown Guest]

It was actually a word that, like, makes sense why it's kind of hard.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You know, I still. Even if I found out what it was right now, I would still get.

[Unknown Guest]

You to try to say it if.

[Kristin Cavallari]

We can find it.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, my God. We text so much.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's literally disgusting. Too territorial.

[Unknown Guest]

Territorial. Oh, well, you just said it really easy, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, I think because when I can.

[Unknown Guest]

See it say in the sentence, say, I am very.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Guys get very territorial.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, look how she turned it back on somebody else. You're A sicko. You couldn't even say that. You couldn't even say I am.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Well, I was using it in a sentence, like I used the other day.

[Unknown Guest]

Who are you talking about?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Every guy.

[Unknown Guest]

Break it down.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Break it down.

[Justin Anderson]

Territorial.

[Unknown Guest]

When I. She could not say it for a while.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I couldn't say it. I literally couldn't say it. But I don't even know how we just got on that conversation. But yeah. So I thought today was gonna be a snow day. It wasn't, thank God, because it's the first day my kids have been back in school in like, two and a half weeks. It was needed. Everyone needed to go to school. My kids have been fighting so much.

[Unknown Guest]

You're saying that yesterday we went to dinner and, like, when she got there, Jackson and Sailor were, like, going crazy in the car. Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I didn't want them sitting next to each other at dinner because they were.

[Unknown Guest]

So cute at dinner.

[Kristin Cavallari]

They were really good at dinner.

[Unknown Guest]

They were really cute last night. They're like, kind of at that age now where they're like, they're starting to feel like almost like the teen years.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, they're fun. They're like part of the crew. Yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Everyone was really good last night. We did like a six. Well, we did Amakase for my birthday, actually. And it's. If you guys don't know what that is, it's literally a 16 course sushi dinner. But it's like one piece of sushi, like, each course. But my kids sat through it. It's two hours long. And they were so good.

[Unknown Guest]

They're like little adults. Also, I think it's good, like, it's actually a good idea if, like, for kids who need a lot of stimulation because there's so much to watch and.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It'S like, there's always something happening.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, you're waiting for the next thing. Actually, really good. Like, I have bad ADHD and like, I love those kind of meals, actually, because it, like, keeps things moving.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's like dinner in a show.

[Unknown Guest]

Totally. I love dinner in a show.

[Kristin Cavallari]

God, we need more of that for it.

[Unknown Guest]

That's so cute. What about Jackson? I looking for, like, our next con. Jackson is her kid. Like, I love going to concerts with him. It's like last night he was, like, showing me all these concerts. The most random things to him, like, super random. Like, let's try it to Chicago to see what was the name?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I don't know who these bands are.

[Unknown Guest]

It's like these young bands that I'm like, no, I'm gonna Wait for, like, Imagine Dragons or whatever.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And then Camden's like, let's go to SZA and Kendra Lamar. Okay.

[Unknown Guest]

I don't know one Kendrick Lamar song.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I only know, like, one or two. But I love sza. I love sza.

[Unknown Guest]

That's the girl, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, she's the girl. And remember, I think recently I was like, I don't know if I like her new album. It takes a minute. And now I'm like, obsessed.

[Unknown Guest]

Really?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, I'm obsessed. I love sza. I will go to that concert. I don't think I'm gonna ring Camden.

[Unknown Guest]

Sorry, buddy, but you're so much cooler with, like, your music. I wonder if your kids help a little bit with that. Like, you still have, like, young.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No, SZA's not young. My kids don't help with SZA.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay, calm down. Sorry. But, like, the stuff that you said me is like, so edgy. Like, you go out sometimes and you don't tell me. Like, I feel like you're at, like, underground.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You've seen my Spotify hours. All I do is sit on Spotify. I'm obsessed.

[Unknown Guest]

My God, you guys. Spotify will tell you how much you use it or whatever. We were all comparing. Well, I don't use Spotify, but I use itunes or Kristen's. Like, you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'm in the year round. You listen, you're phone is always playing. Spotify music's always on. Because I don't listen to podcasts, believe it or not. I don't watch tv. I don't do any of that. I like listening to music. I felt like I just, like, sit down and listen to music. I'm, like, doing shit. My music's on, you know? But no, I. Music for me is life.

[Unknown Guest]

I actually don't listen to a lot of music as much as I love it, like, in the car, loud. I love watching tv.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, you guys are basically.

[Unknown Guest]

I think you're a sicko for not watching TV. I mean, TV's so good now. You're missing out on so many good shows.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'll watch. I'll get into a show, and then I'm like, I'm good for five months.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, what was your last show?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'd have to really think about that. What were some of the most recent?

[Unknown Guest]

Gossip Girl. How do you feel about Blake Lively?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Just kidding.

[Unknown Guest]

Don't go down there.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, I'm not going down that fucking road.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay.

[Kristin Cavallari]

But anyways, so it feels good to be back, and I'm excited that you're here. So Justin and I were kind of brainstorming fun things we could do with the podcast for 2025. And what we ended up deciding on today was, this is actually Justin's idea. Do you want to take the reins on this now?

[Unknown Guest]

No. So we were talking about, like, whenever we do it together, whenever I'm on her PODC podcast for, like, fun things that we can do. Like, we want to, like, we love, like, laughing, like, jokes and stuff. So, like, our. Some of our ideas, like, need a little bit more production. Right. So today we were just talking about, like, I'm like, let me kind of interview you in a way that I think, like, some of your audience would want to hear the questions. And we're just going to talk, like, friends or whatever. And I'm not going to let her give me, like, PR answers like, bitch, if you start doing that. Well, actually, like, and talk like that, I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, I talk like that.

[Unknown Guest]

You can't.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I don't think I've ever given a fucking PR answer in my entire life.

[Unknown Guest]

No, you don't. That's not you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That's why I always get.

[Unknown Guest]

But I think that you're also really smart at, like, avoiding questions that you don't want to answer or.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Or my biggest thing is, like, people think I'm out there talking a lot. I'm like, I'm actually not saying anything. I'm not saying it. You think me saying one thing about someone is me. Oh, my God. I actually. That was me deflecting the fucking conversation.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. And. Yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Do you know. Do you understand what I'm saying?

[Unknown Guest]

I kind of get what you're saying, but, no, I don't think that you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Well, like, with, like, oh, my God. You know what I'm saying? People are like, oh, my God, I can't believe she's talking about that. It's like, I. Trust me when I tell you I am not talking about it. I didn't say anything. The things I could say, the things I could say about all these people that I'm not saying.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, and you get asked a lot of the same thing over and over. So even if you do give the PR answer because you don't want to throw someone on the bus or you don't want to, like, talk about somebody, it still gets blown out of context.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It does, but.

[Unknown Guest]

And you talk a lot. You talk a lot like.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Well, that's why I don't do a lot of other people's podcasts.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, I think that you doing your own podcast has changed a lot.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Well, it has, because it's kind of. I was actually thinking about this the other day. I feel like my podcast is very similar to, like, when I was on tv, where it just, like, keeps me out there. And I think the biggest misconception about me is that people think I love the headlines, and I love that whole world. I try so hard to not be in the headlines, to dodge those things. I say no to every other podcast. I specifically do not put myself in situations where I know that's going to happen. I did end up going on Bunny's podcast a couple weeks ago, and that I love Bunny, and it's a respect thing, and that's why I did it. And that's why I answered. I said more than I probably normally would have out of respect for Bunny, because I. Fudgeing love Bunny.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. But she's good at getting, like, good answers out of people.

[Kristin Cavallari]

She is.

[Unknown Guest]

And you respect her. You love her. She's here in Nashville. So it just kind of worked. But, yeah, that turned into a whole thing. And then people like, oh, look, that's.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Why I don't do them. Because I know, but to the outside.

[Unknown Guest]

People are probably like, Kristin wanted to go on and talk about those things. No, you're asked. And you people, like, you can't lie.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I can't.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, if somebody's asking you something, you're going to be honest. And you didn't give any major details, whatever. I just think that that's, like, who you are. Like, that's. You're just. Yeah, everyone wants to hang out with us. Go do something.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Go play in the snow. Yeah. It's also the timing of that. Like, we. We had been talking about me going on her podcast for a year, a fudgeing year. And it just so happened to be. Then after I've been in the press a lot, and, like, I'm sick of me. Like, trust me, I'm sick of me.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, right before we started this today, because I was, like, saying to Kristen, I was like, I don't want to do any of those fricking questions that, like, create some sort of buzz like that. And Kristin was like, I can't be written about in the tabloids, like, for a while.

[Kristin Cavallari]

The one thing I will say.

[Justin Anderson]

So, like, the first year that I.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Had this podcast, I. I learned how to, like, avoid a headline by, like, how I would talk about something. And I am good at that. I know how to avoid them if I really, truly do want to. But then I got to a place I Remember saying this to you or. A clip of Laguna beach came up on my TikTok, and it, like, kind of hit me where I was like, people fell in love with me for being outspoken and saying what's on my mind. And I felt like I had gotten away from that because I was trying to play it safe so much to avoid headlines, that then I did kind of shift my energy of, like, I'm just gonna be me. I'm not gonna give a. And it's sort of now I'm like, this is why it's been a lot. The last, like, three or four months has been a lot in the press. That's actually a good point.

[Unknown Guest]

I think that's something that. That is a good save right there. Because I also kind of was thinking while we were talking about this. I'm like, people are. Think, like. Because we've said this before, we're like, kristen avoids the tabloids or whatever. And I think to the outside world, they're like, well, then why didn't she stop talking? I don't think people would really get it unless they're in the situation that you're in, because you do say anything and it turns into something. Right. But you were recently being like, I've always been this person, though. If somebody asked me something, I'm gonna say what's on my mind. I don't hide things like, whatever. And you did it a little bit more. And then you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And then it's been a storm. I mean, so now it's like, okay, maybe we can find a happy medium. But I was playing it safe for a while. Or who cares?

[Unknown Guest]

Other than your mental health.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. And I.

[Justin Anderson]

It's just.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's a lot, even for me.

[Unknown Guest]

Wake up, and people are talking about you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And, like, some of the headlines are just. It, like, pushes it too much. I'm like, did I actually fucking say that?

[Justin Anderson]

I guess I did.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Jesus Christ. But, like, you know, as a mom and stuff, too, I don't know. Like, the headlines most recently definitely pushed it. I was actually kind of surprised the headlines could say the things that they did, like, about the F word and stuff. Like, I don't know. I just thought it was a lot. But whatever. It is what it is. I was just playing it safe for a while, and that's not me. So anyways, here we are.

[Unknown Guest]

Here we are. We'll see where this one goes, you know? Yeah.

[Justin Anderson]

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[Kristin Cavallari]

I don't know if you guys are.

[Justin Anderson]

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[Unknown Guest]

All Right, Let me pull up my notes a little bit.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Okay.

[Unknown Guest]

So, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to let's Be Honest. Lesbian, Honest, Lesbian, Honest. With your two favorite lesbians, Justin and Kristin. Patricia Elizabeth Cavallari. Wait, let's start off with that. Did you guys. Have we ever talked about this on your podcast?

[Kristin Cavallari]

No.

[Unknown Guest]

Wait, do you guys know that Kristen was almost named Patricia? Like her name? Your mom told me this story and I don't think I've ever belly laughed harder. We were at my house in the kitchen and your mom was like, well, you know, I almost named Kristen Patricia and I fell over. I thought it was the funniest thing. Because here's the thing. Think about this. Your whole life would have been different if you were a Patricia.

[Kristin Cavallari]

My whole life would be different.

[Unknown Guest]

Hey guys, it's Patricia Cavallari and you're watching mtv.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like I would never have been on tv. No way.

[Unknown Guest]

Well then how to call you Patty. But like, but you know what I was thinking about? You probably would have changed the trajectory for all Patricia's.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You're right.

[Unknown Guest]

Patricia's would have kind of been cool.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Can.

[Unknown Guest]

Because Patricia is one of those names. I mean, that's the generation above us. There's no Patricia's that are millennials or younger.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I don't, I think that name is gone.

[Unknown Guest]

Imagine you meet a 15 year old and she's like, hey, I'm Patricia. There's no way. Like that name doesn't happen.

[Kristin Cavallari]

A baby girl. This is Patricia.

[Unknown Guest]

It's so weird how like certain names are like in certain time brackets. Like actually Justin and Kristen, very millennial. Are there any 65 year old Kristen?

[Kristin Cavallari]

No.

[Unknown Guest]

Maybe they're like, oh, well, they wouldn't spell it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Or 10 year olds. Yeah, no, I don't think so.

[Unknown Guest]

Or Justin. Do you know any 70 year old Justin?

[Kristin Cavallari]

No.

[Unknown Guest]

Justin Timberlake was like the first Justin board.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I think it was like 70 year olds are like Bob and like Susan.

[Unknown Guest]

Tom Patric. If your name was Trisha, though. Oh my God, Trisha. Trisha's cute. Well, I love Trisha Paytas. There's a girl named Trisha Paytas who I'm obsessed with.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I would have been Trisha or Trishy.

[Unknown Guest]

Trishy sounds like trashy Patricia Cavallari. It would have changed everything.

[Kristin Cavallari]

My whole life would have been ruined.

[Unknown Guest]

It literally would have. Okay, so we're just gonna ask some questions and then, you know, it's funny, I always think about like with you, people don't realize how deep you are, bro.

[Kristin Cavallari]

People think I'm a dumbass.

[Unknown Guest]

No, I don't think people do not think you're d. Nothing. Well, no, actually, people would love to be like, she's just a dumb blonde. Like, people who don't know you, but I don't think people who pay any attention to think you're dumb. But I don't think people know how deep you are. Like, you and I dissect shit for a lot. Well, I take it too far.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You always take it too far.

[Unknown Guest]

I take it too far.

[Kristin Cavallari]

But we. But we love getting.

[Unknown Guest]

We love getting really deep. And I think that's also obviously, like, why we're really close and why we talk all day long.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Because we're. We're solving the world.

[Unknown Guest]

We're solving problems all day long. But then beyond that, like, when we're together, like, if we have, like, a little bit of drinks in us or whatever, like, you and I, like, dissect shit.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

But I feel like with all the stuff you do, like, a lot of people don't get, like, the really deep side of you.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, that's true.

[Unknown Guest]

So I'm gonna get deep, bro.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Let's get deep.

[Unknown Guest]

Not even that deep, honestly. It's just conversations so that we can, like, chat and elaborate on things. Okay. There's no particular order to do, so I didn't go importance to not important. Let's just kind of go through it. All right? So one of the most incredible things I think about you. This isn't me reading the script. It's me trying to stay ahead. And also, bear with me. I have really bad adhd. Whoever's editing this, you might have to edit it down quite a bit. Okay. One of the most impress of things for me about you is your ability to make quick decisions. Oh, was it always there? Was it learned? And when was the first time you were like, wow, trusting my gut really works.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God, I love this question. Okay. So, yeah, I'm super decisive. And in fact, my team at Uncommon James has always told me that too. So it's always been there. But I definitely had to learn how to trust my gut. And that is just through trial and error. And anytime I didn't listen to my gut, my gut was always right. And I'd be like, okay, I have to always trust my gut. I didn't really, like, hone in on it, I would say, until the last, like, 10 years.

[Unknown Guest]

Really?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. But honestly, it's my biggest compass. It's my biggest tool. Now. I only. Not only, but I. I, for the most part, just listen to my Gut on things.

[Unknown Guest]

Do you feel like you learned that from, like, finding fame at such a young age? Because, I don't know. The way you make decisions is really impressive.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I just know what I like or don't like.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. And you're really good right away. Being like, no, that doesn't work for me. You don't ever like, because, you know, most people like, oh, should I do that? Or what do you think about that? Like, you never play that game.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'll tell you why. Because when I do, to please other people or whatever it is, it fucking eats me alive and I can't sit with myself then. So I. Yeah, I. I've created boundaries for myself and I live my life for me. And, you know, obviously with kids, like, there's a gray area there. I can't just, like, live my life for me with my kids, but in my social life, in my work life and everything, I've been able to get to a place, luckily, where I can say no to a lot of things. I think learning how to say no is one of the most important things people can do.

[Unknown Guest]

I totally agree.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's the hardest thing for a lot of people.

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, that's like the biggest boundary, too.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Teddy is digging holes. Teddy. Teddy.

[Unknown Guest]

No, she just said no. Saying no is the most important thing.

[Kristin Cavallari]

This is my boundary, Teddy digging holes in my yard.

[Unknown Guest]

Look at him. He knows what's up too.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, he knows.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay. Here's another thing. My goodness. I wrote these like a four year old, you know.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Did you come up with these? Or did your Instagram followers.

[Unknown Guest]

No, no, I didn't put this out to Instagram. Remember I said to you. Because I was gonna say to all of our friends on Instagram, I was gonna be like, what do you guys want me to ask Kristen? Or whatever? But I just had a feeling coming off of, like, the last big podcast you do, it would all be about guys or whatever. And it's like, can we talk about something else for the love of God?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I love that you came up with these. You had to do a lot.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, my God. And they're all very catered to you, to how I feel about you and things. Things that I want people to know about you. Yeah, I really want people to see, like, lots of sides to you. Okay. Making experiences happen for yourself is kind of like this thing. I think you're really good at making experiences happen. And here's where I see it all the time. We travel a lot together and you know how sometimes you'll go on a Vacation. Maybe you just like lay by the pool or you just like do the spa stuff, or you like have a long meal. You are like the queen of like, experiences and scoot. And I talk about this all the time because like we go places. You want to go skeet shooting or whatever the they call it. And like you want to go out and like do all these activities and explore where we are. I didn't do that for a long time. Time. Like. Okay, and so my question with that is, is it purely selfish to experience life and have no regrets later in life, or is it about having the time with the people you love? Or a combination of both? Like, what do you think your, your passion for like wanting to go out and like experience so many things? And I'm not just talking like ski shooting. No, yeah, whatever. You're big on experiences.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I am. And I wasn't always like that either. I was the queen of going on a beach vacation and not fucking getting up from my beach chair all day long. So this is in the last again, probably like six, seven years. But I just, I've gotten place where I want to experience everything out there. Like I want to when I'm dying, I want to be like, cool. I got to see the world. I got to do all the things I wanted to do. Like I just like having experiences. Like that's what I want to spend my money on.

[Unknown Guest]

Totally.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And so when especially traveling, like, I'm all about a beach day. But then the older I've gotten, the more I just want to like get out and experience whatever that town or city has.

[Unknown Guest]

Because a lot of people don't. I mean, I know a lot of people do do that kind of stuff, but I think most people, when you travel with your friends even, it's like, let's get drunk in the pool and.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Just like, yeah, I'm over that, you.

[Unknown Guest]

Know, and you're good about. Okay. Like, okay, tomorrow's schedule is. And at first I was like, what the is going on?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, you guys could just get drunk all day.

[Unknown Guest]

We could get drunk all day and like we could just like lounge and like we whatever. But like, you're good at that. And it's like. And now it's changed me. Like when I go on vacation, like, I want to have like an itinerary. I want to like experience things. When I leave a city, I want to really feel like I like took it in, you know, and saw things, whatever.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Cuz like, I don't want to go to Stockholm and then be like, I didn't even see Stockholm. Like, I don't even know what Stockholm had to offer.

[Unknown Guest]

We've gone to the coolest places.

[Kristin Cavallari]

We've gone to some cool places.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay. This one's a fun one. Okay. Do you think, in general, do you think your very first love sets the tone for your romantic life and. Or do you think that's a thing, like the first time you feel love or get your heart broken? Does it have a big impact on how you, like, view love in the future?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Because this is a big thing for me. That's a good question. I think that. I think it can. I don't think every situation is the same, but I think. I think it definitely can. Like, if you really got your heart broken, I think it can definitely make you have walls up and it can change you. And I think, like, each. Each experience that you have in love will change you. They all do. So if your first one is heartbreak, okay. But then maybe your second one, you know, someone teaches you how to, like, let down your walls a little bit so you soften a little bit more. I think, like, each one molds you. What do you think?

[Unknown Guest]

No, I'm totally with you. But I think it's really interesting because, well, for me, I mean, I was gay and so I was trying to pretend I was straight in high school. So, like, my first loves were always like girls. It was again, more like a best friendship, you know? And so mine was always like. Like that. It didn't feel real. Right. But I always think about those things. It's like you could, like. I always think about, like, the first time a girl gives herself to, like, a guy and she's young. It's like the responsibility that that guy carries to really kind of like. And I'm not trying to get too deep, but, like, set the tone for the rest of that girl's life. Like, if you took a girl, we can just talk. If you took a girl's virginity, right, and then you just totally ghosted her, like, that's all you wanted. Like, that could fuck someone up for a really long time. 100% or even. It doesn't even have to be the first romantic love. Like, a par. Could fuck up your idea of love for a really long time, you know?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was just gonna say. Cause, like, going into your first relationship, typically it's like you're not jaded at all. You're just, like, coming at it from, like, a place of pureness. Unless you've had a really fucked up relationship with a parent.

[Unknown Guest]

Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You know what? I Mean, but I'll be. I mean, I had fucked up relationships with both of my parents, and I still went into my first love with Johnny, like, totally open and willing and able and, like, just, like, out of, like, pure joy and love. Like, I wasn't like, he's gonna. My heart. Like, there was, like, no worry about my heart getting broken. It was just, like, we were just in it, and we were just, like, experiencing it together for the first time.

[Unknown Guest]

But wait, did Johnny break your heart? I forget.

[Kristin Cavallari]

So Johnny.

[Unknown Guest]

That was the one. He moved.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I moved. I moved, and he said, kelsey, Lainey, Laney, that bitch.

[Unknown Guest]

No, Lani's chill, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

He hooked up with Laney, like, immediately. And I was. And that. That fucked me up. And then I dated this scumbag. I think he was a senior. He had a tongue ring, like, ew. And I remember my stepmom even being like, kristen, like, what are you doing? And I was like, what? Like, because it, like, me up. And so I think when you're young, the only way to get over someone is to, like, get with someone else. You know what I mean? There's no, like, healing or, like, reflecting.

[Unknown Guest]

But you think about that thing when you're so young and, like, the first time you really, like, not even sex, just, like, kind of trust someone enough to be your boyfriend, even if you're, like, 13 or 12. Like, it could either ruin you, or it could set up your life to be beautiful as far as love goes. You know, Because I think that. I think your first heartbreak hits like no other. Like, the first time you get your heart broken.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That's why I never wanted to feel that again. So I decided to break everyone else's heart.

[Unknown Guest]

Boom.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

That's what it is.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, you were protecting it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And it wasn't a conscious decision. I. I didn't figure that out until recently.

[Unknown Guest]

Whoa.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. I never wanted to feel that again. I was like, I will never feel this again. And so I'm gonna break your heart before you can break mine, which is my whole life since Johnny.

[Unknown Guest]

So you've always wanted to be in the driver's seat since then.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And to be fair, I would want to hear Johnny's side of it, too, because he may say I broke his heart, too. I may have broken up with him before I moved. Like, I don't. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know, but because there's two sides to every story on tour.

[Unknown Guest]

You're all, come on out, Johnny.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Johnny's coming to my show in Chicago.

[Unknown Guest]

Buy tickets to The Chicago show.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Johnny will be there.

[Unknown Guest]

But I. And I guarantee. I mean, I don't know Johnny, we've talked a little bit about. About this or whatever, but yeah, I bet Johnny loved you. And also, like, you're so young. Yeah, but I'm not even thinking about Johnny. I'm thinking about, like, you. Your experience can change from, like, just whatever happens with that. And it's so interesting. I think, like, later in life, I do think, actually, if I'm being honest, the first time I had, like, a gay experience, I mean, it was bad. I'll be honest. Remember I hooked up with, like, a tennis instructor.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, my God, I hooked you guys. I wasn't even 16. This is, like, bad. And by the way, like, yeah, he was 38. That was my first gay experience. And here's the thing, when I think about that, it kind of gives me chills or whatever it was. That's disgusting and the most creepy thing ever. But thank God he didn't do anything weird, you know, because that could have changed everything where I didn't trust whatever.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It could have been worse.

[Unknown Guest]

So thank God.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay. Yeah, that's weird. And I've, like, also tried to, like, look for him. I was like, no, I really can't find him anymore. No, nothing. Okay.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Bad.

[Unknown Guest]

If the next 10 years of your life, life, were a chapter in a book, what would the chapter, or what. What do you see the chapter being about? And you're all about? Kristen's so good about kind of manifesting and setting the tone for where she wants things to go, and it does really good for you. But what is the next chapter of your book?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God. The next chapter of my book would probably be called Cruise Control. Oh, well, I say that, but then I see, like, big things popping for me in the next 10 years. But overall, like, like, life is really good, you know, Like, I feel really lucky. My kids are at such great ages. The most important thing to me right now is just, like, being at every basketball game and, like, being at all their things. And I just wanna, like, keep that going. Work is really good. I don't have to bust my ass anymore. But I have the podcast and Uncommon James, and those are just, like, steady, which is great. And then, you know, I would like to get married again. For sure. I would like to meet the one and get married. I'm in no rush, but I do. I do see that happening. It fucking better be in the next 10 years.

[Unknown Guest]

Isn't that such a good place to be, though, where you're kind of at that place where you're like, cruise control is a good way of putting it. You just wanna. I'm so there, bro. All I wanna do is enjoy life now in every aspect. Like, I just wanna laugh. I wanna appreciate the things that I'm doing. I did all that dick grinding in business for so long, and you're chasing. And then you get to a place where you're like, I really wanna enjoy now. And I also know it's a privilege to be in a spot where, like, you know, I started doing, like, real estate stuff at a really young age. And I always thought about the future, and I always knew my dream was to really slow down later in life and, like, really enjoy things. And it's funny, like, you and I kind of have that same philosophy on life. Like, I want the next chapter of my life to be, like, really chill. So I love that. Yeah, I love that for you. This isn't about me. Shut up, Justin. Be quiet.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No, we're the same person, so.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay, this one's fun. And I want to know this about you, and I want you to be really honest. Cause I'm, like, curious, you know, if, like, if you were Patricia, you know, and Laguna beach never happened. Okay, if failing didn't matter and making or losing money didn't matter, what would you work on doing, like, a dream you'd love to chase if you had nothing, like, absolutely nothing to lose?

[Kristin Cavallari]

You have really good questions. There's nothing that I haven't done that I want to do. I think for me, like, putting myself in situations where I'm nervous and I'm fucking scared and I have to overcome a fear is huge for me. My podcast tour. I will be so fucking nervous. That's a big deal for me. I used to have such a fear of public speaking, and in the last couple years, I've forced myself to be in situations where I've had to, like, overcome it. So I do feel like I'm, like, pretty good now, but the podcast store is different. You know, I'll be nervous for that, but I've done a lot of cool shit. I've kind of, like, done a lot of things.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, I think that's what I'm actually trying to get at, sweetheart, is like. Like, it doesn't have to be cool. Like, what if it was like.

[Kristin Cavallari]

But there's everything I want to do, I do do. Does that make like, there's nothing that I'm like, yeah, I'm not scared of, like, rejection or, like, money. Like, I would do something. Starting my own business.

[Justin Anderson]

Scary as fuck.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I did that. I've written books by myself. I've hosted big red carpet events. I've done live tv hosting Paradise Hotel on Fox. Like, I've done scared. Those have all scared the shit out of me, and I've done them. And so, like, I'm really proud of that. There's nothing on my list. I want to open up a coffee shop, but that's not, like. Yeah, that's nothing that I'm, like, dying to do, actually.

[Unknown Guest]

That's interesting. Yeah, it's true. Like, you really have done a bit of. I feel the same way, too. I think that looking back on my life, I think my life, it was bigger than I ever imagined it to be. I feel really content. But when I ask that question, I think about, is there anything that, like, I think what I have missed out on in life is having the really simple time of life. Like, I look at people who. Like a pilgrim or like, a Amish person or whatever, and sometimes I'm like, I wish I could do that. You know what I. Who I'm jealous of, like, all the time. Like, I go to the same, like, Starbucks coffee all the time. Whenever I get actual Starbucks and I see people, like, working, they're, like, really happy. I know that's not, like, a dream job or whatever, but, like, I've never been in a work situation where it was just like, clock in, clock out, and then your life is kind of chill. Then you go home and you, like, don't have to think about work till the next day when you clock in or whatever. Like, sometimes I fantasize about, like, having a real simple life. Everything I've ever done was over the top. The celebrity hair, starting businesses, like, trying to buy and sell real estate. That would make me a lot of money. And I'm always, like, stressed and crunching numbers and all that stuff and.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And you. It's not something you can just, like, leave at the door.

[Unknown Guest]

Exactly.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, that makes sense. I get that. That. Well, that's why I think even with the podcast and everything else, like, I just took the last few weeks off. I took last summer off, basically. Like, I have to do that for me, otherwise I would never stop.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, maybe now you're kind of just doing it then. Now you're just kind of going into that, like, slow. Enjoy your time right now.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah, and, like, I'm figuring out how to make this all work for me while still getting a break, you know?

[Unknown Guest]

I guess that question is good for better for people. Who like, maybe feel more stuck. And what would you do if you could do anything that you want?

[Kristin Cavallari]

And I think maybe younger too, I don't know.

[Unknown Guest]

And just going for it, making it happen.

[Kristin Cavallari]

But I. That makes me feel really appreciative for everything I've done in my life again. Like, when I look back at my career, like, I've done really cool stuff and. And it's more than just like, cool stuff. It's stuff that's like, really pushed me out of my comfort zone.

[Unknown Guest]

Totally.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Dancing with the Stars, Literally. I thought I was gonna. My pants. I've never been so nervous for anything in my entire life.

[Unknown Guest]

You guys have to go back and YouTube it. Cause it's the cutest thing ever. You were so cute.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Actually, though, I've never been so scared. I was like, I'm gonna forget every step. I was like, I don't. Like, you're like, my mind's gonna go blank. I was so.

[Unknown Guest]

Don't you think it's so good to do that kind of stuff, though, to push yourself, like, to get out of your comfort zone?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like when I tell you, like, even growing up, I had, like, if I had to speak in front of the class, I had anxiety for weeks. I couldn't sleep. I thought I was going to puke. Like, I. This has always been a fear of mine. And in the last couple years, I can finally, like, do it and like, be okay. And it's like a huge fear that I've overcome.

[Unknown Guest]

Wow.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Justin Anderson]

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[Unknown Guest]

Okay, what do you want to be remembered for? Even if it's from people who know you publicly or the closest people in your life life. Like, when you think, like, we all think do this thing, like, have you ever thought about your own funeral?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Oh, my God. No, actually.

[Unknown Guest]

Shut up. No, I always like thinking about, like, what would people say who would cry the hardest? Like, yeah, what would he.

[Kristin Cavallari]

What would I say at my funeral?

[Unknown Guest]

He wanted to go a long time ago, you guys. He was tired. It's all right. He would pack me in the casket.

[Kristin Cavallari]

He's happy.

[Unknown Guest]

He lived a real long life. He never stop talking, man. The guy's brain never shut off.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I'd be like, scoot. Now we can go out late. Yeah, Justin always wants to go to bed so early.

[Unknown Guest]

No, but, like, what do you want to be remembered for?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I want people to remember me for going after what I wanted and, like, living my life for me. And I hope that I can be an inspiration for people to chase their dreams, do what they want to do, be unapologetically themselves.

[Unknown Guest]

That's important to you, right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

It is important to me. I think authenticity is important to me. So I think everyone should just be authentic. Be you. Live your life.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, you've done that, bro. That's, like, what you're known for. People talk to me about you. They're like, she just makes me feel like I can do anything. Like, you've done that for people.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I had a woman come up to me at Whole Foods the other day, and I literally almost started crying, but she was like, you helped me get through a breakup. Like, you've been there for me. And I was like, I needed to hear that so much because, like, if I can make a difference in one person's life, like, fuck. Okay. And it's so easy for me to get hung up on, like, oh, the fucking headlines. And people don't think I shut up. But, like, I. I think the people who love me really love me, and that's why I've had a career for 20 years. And that means a lot, that I can, like, actually help people. And the rest of the people who.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, complain about it, like, first of all, that's just dork behavior.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I know.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, you're not happy. You know, if you're, like, being her again, why is she talking? Because she's human and someone asked her a question.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I know. And my thing is, like, when people follow celebrity gossip, and then they're like, oh, she doesn't shut up. It's like, you follow celebrity gossip. Like, if you don't want to see some people, don't follow this.

[Unknown Guest]

It's so true, though. My goodness, just let people live.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Go away. The only way she stayed relevant for 20 years. Talking about, guys, partly true.

[Unknown Guest]

What should we remembered for? We'll do a montage. I'm going to do a montage of all of your men in, like, the headlines.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And I'll be like, that's basically my podcast store.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, my God. That's right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, okay. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What's something about your personal personality? Okay, let's go deep here for a second. What's something about your personality that you've thought maybe you should work on, even if it meant kind of changing who you know yourself to be?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I. Okay, hold on. I'm gonna give you a real answer. I feel like you. You have one for me?

[Unknown Guest]

No, not necessarily. Well, no, I think as your best friend, I have things that, like, I wonder if you would want to, but I don't want you to change them. I wonder what you think, because I know my things for me, like, you know, patience or like, my things. But yours, I'm curious.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I mean, you're perfect. Thank you. I agree. No, I. I used to. My fuse used to be really short, and I've had to learn over the years to, like, take a fucking breath as a mom. But even in relationship, you know, I used to always feel like the worst was going to happen or like, I always had to be on the defense. Like, people were always attacking me and I had to learn that's not, in fact, the case. Like, I've done a lot of work on myself, myself over the last few years. Had you asked me this five years ago, I would have had a laundry list for you. But I feel like, I mean, as a mom, I could have more patience sometimes. But, like, I think I do a pretty damn good job as a mom, you know, like, there are things I could work on. But as far as, like, a personality trait goes, I'm, like, thinking of things, but I'm like, I don't actually think I would change that about me. Like, I can be. It takes a minute for me to warm up to people. I wouldn't change that, though. That's.

[Unknown Guest]

You think you. It takes a minute for you to warm up?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I think it can.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm always shocked at how comfortable you are around people immediately.

[Justin Anderson]

Really?

[Unknown Guest]

I think that's, like, one of the weirdest things about you and I. Like, when we meet people, you and I are so comfortable right away.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You are. You think I am, too? It depends on who it is.

[Unknown Guest]

A hundred percent.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It depends on who it is.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Not that you would, like, let down. You're just so, like, warm and smiling.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Well, I'm not a. Yeah, I'm not a. I don't open up to people. It takes a long time for me to really open up people.

[Unknown Guest]

No, you're definitely garbage. Even as, like, one of your closest friends. And we've become so much closer after that, like the past six years or whatever. But. Yeah, you always definitely, like, had a little boundary, like a guard up. But, like, I loved that about you. Like, it was so interesting. But I think that, like, that's like, your little armor or whatever.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I have to.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. And you've been hurt in the past, you know, like, you could have been.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Walked all over and people do take advantage and people do fudge with you still, you know, especially with guys.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I mean, well, girls too. No, I've had people just burn me a lot in the past, so I wouldn't change that. It's not ideal, I guess, but I'm.

[Unknown Guest]

Not What's funny, too, because even with that, like, I was kind of thinking it's like, if you don't really have anything to change about yourself, yourself, like, because even all of our quirks and stuff, like, make us who we are.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That's what I mean.

[Unknown Guest]

Right?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Because sometimes I would say things like, I wish I didn't talk so much, or I wish I wasn't so. Like, I didn't. And I'm not saying this to act like I'm the sweetest person on earth. I wish I didn't care about other people.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Major empath.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. And I'm like a people pleaser. Like, so those are things for me, but if I change those, I wouldn't be the same person.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Exactly.

[Unknown Guest]

So with you, it's like, I was wondering if there is something, because I actually.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Well, I think I could be better at asking people for help. Help like that. But that's not like a personality trait. That's just something I do need to work on, I think, especially in relationship.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. All right. I'm bored with that question already. Okay. Would you say that not caring what people think or say about you has a lot to do with your years of success? Like, if you spent time caring how people would react to what you did, would have. Would have held you back from winning?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I think there's a part of that. I think my whole life trained me for that too. Like, even before I was on tv, you know, I. I was the girl that people always taught. Like, people always said shit about me. Like, that was just always a part of my life. And I was always a new girl. I moved around, so I experienced a lot of new schools. I got thrown in situations, so I had to learn from an early age how to have a thick skin, how to deal with people just judging me, criticizing me when they didn't even know me. On a smaller scale, obviously. But, like, people in school deal with that all the time. And so. And then obviously being on TV just, you know, multiplied it by a bajillion. I do sometimes care what people think about me. I'm not, like, completely cut off from it. Well, even being in the headlines a lot in the last couple of weeks, and if I do read comments, I get like, it's. That's, like, stressful. And I know where it comes from. I know people who tear other people down. I know where it comes from. I've dealt with it for 20 fucking years. But it still is not. I can. It still will sometimes hit me, you know, and I. Again, it's because the people are like, she doesn't shut the fuck up. It's like, you don't understand my side of it, though. I think it's like when you, you don't know, like, people don't know what they're talking about. That's where I get, like, you don't understand, though.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, and with that, I think, like, what is the opposite? That, like, you're supposed to just disappear. Like, I don't understand.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, I have a podcast. I'm making money. This is how I make a living is my podcast. Like, I don't.

[Unknown Guest]

But I think that that's the thing too. It's like, because I'm always shocked, like, you just keep going. I notice as your friend, like, how much pushback you'll get on things. You get so much love and you get so much att people, you know, people who love you, they love you or whatever. But, like, some of the pushback. It's so weird with you, dude.

[Kristin Cavallari]

People either love me or hate me.

[Unknown Guest]

100% because, like, something about you triggers something in them. Otherwise why would you care? I have never scrolled social media and wanted to say something negative because I just simply don't care if somebody said something that I 100% disagree with. Just keep scrolling. Like, I disagree and keep scrolling. So it's like, I think that it's always something, like when you trigger something in somebody.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And I know that. I do know that. I also think people think that I'm like, loud and obnoxious. You know what I'm saying? That I'm like, I'm so not that I actually hate attention. You guys can see me in my everyday life. Like, I go to the grocery store looking like a fucking bum. Like I just rolled out of bed. Like, I'm trying to, like, blend in. I never in my life try to stand out, ever.

[Unknown Guest]

Hot chicks can do that. Taylor's oldest time. You dress like a. I'm surprised the.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Girl recognized me at Whole Foods the other day. So, Kristen, is that you? I swear to God. I actually think she's. She was like, you're Kristen, right? But I, I don't know, I think it's just like that misconcept deception, it does get to me sometimes.

[Unknown Guest]

But I think you're better than. I think you're better than most people because I think that that is why you had like, that's why you've had like the staying power of like, you've had like a 20 plus year career. Because I really think at the end of the day. Like, you don't.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I can let it roll off. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

This stuff doesn't keep you up at night or whatever. Like. But I do think, like, it's like a boxing ring for you, like, every single day sometimes.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

With the. That's happening, you know?

[Kristin Cavallari]

And like, lately it has been every day.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Like, I think you handle it really well. And as your best friend. Are you getting em. Oh, my God. I get so excited when you get a little bit of ocean.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, are you crying? I'm like, no. What the.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, no. But you get a lot of shit. But I think that it's. It never knocks you down. You just keep going. You keep doing your thing. And I'm sorry, but can we just be honest for a second? You're really interested. Even if you were like, she's annoying. Like, whatever. Cuz, like, you're like, so the typical. We're both annoying. If somebody just, like, dipped in on our conversation, we're, like, the most annoying. Cal. Like, we say, like, so much. Like, I get. But we're deep. Okay. But the thing with you is, you're really interesting. I think people are always like, what's she gonna do next? Like, who's she gonna date next? Like, you're kind of like, you're a wild card, but then you're also so grounded. And, like, all the things that you've done are very strategic. Like, you've always really taken care of yourself. You've made your life, like, amazing. Like, you could have been a flash in the pan, bro.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. I mean, and I remember when I first came on the scene, people, like, enjoy your 15 minutes.

[Unknown Guest]

It's been 25 years.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I had. Have and then some. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I think it goes back to that authenticity piece. I think the people who know me, they fucking get it, you know?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, and the reason I bring that conversation up is not to, like, I mean, I'll hype you up every single day of my life, but, like, for people listening is. I really think that there's something important there. Like, you have to just be you and do what you want to do. And everyone always says that it's not, like, exciting advice or whatever, but it's like, I really think you do a good job at just, like, doing what you want to do. And it's like, you throw stuff out there, you say things and, like, you're not going to let people, like, beat down your personality, you know, like, yeah, yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I've always been me you know, I mean, and it can. It's not to say there hasn't been hard times and stuff, but. Yeah, you can't. Because at the end of the day, I've always separated myself from Hollywood. Like, to me, it's always been a fake world. Like, none of that's real. Like, at the end of the day, like, the headlines on social media and, like, that's not real. Like, if you just put your phone down and you go out into the real world, like, that's what's real. Real. Hollywood's not real. A red carpet's not real. Like, I always was like, this is.

[Justin Anderson]

Such a fake, weird world.

[Unknown Guest]

Everything online, I have just started realizing. Not just started realizing, but, like, really made a mental note of it. Like, the elections, me up. Like, during the elections, I was reading everything online. I was, like, going, like, left, right, center. Like, reading everything, and it was making me crazy. And then all of a sudden, when you. I really tuned it out. Like, scoot. And I made a thing like, no news on in the house. Like, I'm not looking at anything. That I scroll up there talking about politics where, like, swipe by it. And the same thing with, like, it's so easy to get, like, sucked into that vort tags. But then when you put it away, like, the world's normal, I think is the point.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I think they want us to be sucked in and just become dumber and dumber.

[Unknown Guest]

A hundred percent. Put your phone down so that we just start, like. Because that's robots. Yeah. And when you start paying attention to all those things that, first of all, we can't change, like, it's gonna happen. We're on a ride, you know, we're not stopping the ride or whatever. But, like, the more we fight or whatever, then they can just control us.

[Kristin Cavallari]

They like that. Put the phones down.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. And stop fighting with each other also. That's the dumbest thing, too.

[Kristin Cavallari]

That's. I think I just, like, hate all of that is just, like, the. The amount of hate on the Internet is so gross. And there's a lot of love, too. I mean, I. You know, but it's given unhappy people a place where they feel a connection to other unhappy people, and then they feel, like, validated.

[Unknown Guest]

Right.

[Kristin Cavallari]

And that's a really dangerous, slippery road. I feel like.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, why aren't we, like, being happy and building each other up also, like, again, put your phone down and go outside. Go ground. Put your feet in the grass.

[Justin Anderson]

You'll feel better.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You know what I mean? These fucking haters.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay. Well, then that's good for our last question. Okay. Do you love yourself and how did you get there? And. Or how do you plan to get there? I think you love yourself if you're there. Is there any advice you can give to people who have a hard time loving themselves or putting themselves first?

[Kristin Cavallari]

Solid questions, Justin. A plus on the questions. I do love myself, and that hasn't always been the case. I'd say in the last five years, that's what I've done is I have found love for myself. And I think love for yourself caught comes with knowing really who you are, getting through hard times, trusting in yourself that you're capable of a lot. Like, having that faith in yourself. Of like, look what we did. Like, look what I did. You know what I mean? Like, hypnotherapy was huge for me of, like, loving myself because it really worked through a lot of my trauma that I hadn't worked through yet. But journaling is really important. Our bufo experience was life changing for me.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, wait, can you tell me why journaling isn't important?

[Kristin Cavallari]

So, okay, it's interesting. I was actually just talking about this with someone else, so. I've always loved journaling. I. Even in my early 20s, I used to go out to the club and get up and I would come home and I would journal. And those are some of the most insightful journal pages because, like, you could. And I would be like, I don't know what's wrong with me. Like, I'm so unhappy. It's just like, you could, like, see, like, I was going through it and I didn't know why. I've kept a diary since 8, 8th grade, and like, it's just wild to go back and read everything. But I think, like, so during my divorce, you know, that's like a pivotal time in someone's life. It was the first time in my whole life I didn't go to therapy. And instead I, like, read books. I journaled. I did the hypnotherapy. I've like, done all of this stuff, but. And it was the best work I've ever done. I think sometimes the best work is just with yourself. But journaling, like, if you don't think and you just write, like, the shit that comes out. And I think the most important thing is getting shit out, getting it out of your body, because otherwise emotion stays in your body and then it harbors in other ways and, you know, and then you can learn a lot about yourself, quite honestly, like, go back and read it.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, she Turned that into a book. I want to turn that into a.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Book, a self help book. Kristin's Guide to Loving Yourself. No, but I mean I think there's a lot of. It's powerful meditation I think is huge.

[Unknown Guest]

Love yourself. What did that feel like for you?

[Kristin Cavallari]

I was partying my dick off.

[Unknown Guest]

So what, you were afraid? Like, I don't know where this is going. I don't.

[Kristin Cavallari]

No. And it wasn't even a conscious thing. It was more just like I was looking to fill a void in every area with guys partying, shallow friends. Like I my party friends in LA in my early 20s and it was just to avoid.

[Unknown Guest]

Isn't that why like LA is so scary? Like I'm not an LA hater. I grew up in Southern California. I love parts of California when I say la, like Hollywood in particular. There's great people in Hollywood also. I never want to talk shit cause there's great people in Hollywood. But the overall like it is so like if I had a kid who wanted move to Hollywood, the way that I would handcuff that kid to my driveway and be like, you're not going anywhere near that town because you thank God you were strong. Because even with you the way that like it kind of like tore you down a little bit. Or like the relationships you think are normal in Hollywood.

[Kristin Cavallari]

So many lost souls.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. And like the after parties and just the nasty weird things that the longer you're there you start to think that it's normal. And it's like you have to be a strong person to get through, through Hollywood completely. I mean you see it all the time how Hollywood just destroys people, you know, and we think like, oh, they were, they had an addiction or like whatever. They didn't, they didn't make it in the business or whatever. It's like, no, that town will fuck you up.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Town will literally like it takes the.

[Unknown Guest]

Strongest person and like, I don't know, the friends thing is like a real thing too. Like wouldn't you say, like looking back, you know, because we both had our 20s in Hollywood and I look back on people I used to hang out with, my 20s that like I couldn't even sit in the same room with. Now like the conversations and the things we used to talk about, like so vapid that of course, of course we were binge drinking and like just getting up so we could like even get along with these dorks that we were hanging out. Not dorks, because they're supposedly like the cool people or whatever. But it was like, it was so Shallow and not real. And now, later in my life, you know, everything about what I want. And I know you want. It's like, I want depth, and I want, like, connection, and I want, like. And if I don't have that with someone, not to be rude, but I don't want to be around them.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Well. Right. That's how I am. Maybe. We really value it so much now, too, as adults, because we didn't have it, you know, because everything. Oh, and that's not to say, like, a lot of my good friends, you know, have been in my life for 20 years, but there was a point in my early 20s where I kind of distanced myself from the good people because I was partying so much, and I had, like, my party friends, and.

[Unknown Guest]

You know, you didn't want to be judged.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like. Yeah, it was, like, an insecurity.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, well, Andy down. We love to party, bro.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I mean, it'll always be.

[Unknown Guest]

I, like, no regrets there, though.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, no.

[Unknown Guest]

I feel like I. Like, I'm so glad I got all those years out of my system or whatever, because certain personalities, like, you really have to do it. Like, I love to party.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

I was watching this movie the other night. Like, I immediately texted Chris. I'm like, you have to watch this movie. It's the most up movie ever. It's called, like, Anora or something, but it's like, a party girl thinking. I'm like, chris, you have to watch this. Makes you want to party so hard.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I want to watch it, but I.

[Unknown Guest]

Think that you'll always.

[Justin Anderson]

That's why I loved, like, Euphoria.

[Kristin Cavallari]

You know what I mean? I was like, that show is so good, by the way. Like, that was what Laguna Beach High School.

[Unknown Guest]

School was like, oh, I believe it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Like, we were like that. When everyone's like, oh, my God, I can't even believe what I'm watching. I'm like, no, that was my. That was my high school.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, I believe it.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Yeah. Like, bad, Bad. But again, like, I don't regret it, you know, I was a willing participant in everything I did. But anyways, well, this was fun. Those were really good questions, and I appreciate you taking the time to do that. Sweet.

[Unknown Guest]

Thanks, bro. Yeah, you really gave me all that I wanted, you know? That was incredible. I can't wait to have you back next time. Maybe she'll be back on the show next week. Patricia Cavalier, ladies and gentlemen, signing out.

[Kristin Cavallari]

All right, I love you guys.