Podcast Summary: "Why Every Woman Needs a Roster of Three With Matchmaker Patti Stanger"
Introduction In this engaging episode of Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari, host Kristin Cavallari sits down with renowned matchmaker Patti Stanger, known as the "Original Millionaire Matchmaker." Together, they delve deep into the modern dating landscape, sharing candid insights and professional advice tailored for women seeking meaningful relationships.
Shifts in the Dating Landscape The conversation begins with an exploration of demographic shifts affecting the dating scene, particularly in cities like Austin. Patti explains, “[01:19]” how the migration of men from places like Los Angeles to Austin, Miami, and Nashville—driven by factors such as state taxes and the rise of remote work—has altered where singles congregate. This relocation has led to a noticeable decrease in available men in traditionally popular dating hubs.
Challenges in Finding Quality Men Patti discusses the evolving challenges of matchmaking in a post-COVID world. She highlights how many men have become isolated, working from home and avoiding public spaces. “[00:56]” Patti laments, “Where are the men?” emphasizing the difficulty in locating quality singles amid these changes. Kristin adds her perspective, noting that men on dating apps often don’t align with her preferences, being younger and without children, which complicates her search for a compatible partner.
Strategies to Meet Potential Partners To overcome these challenges, Patti offers strategic advice on where to meet high-quality men. She recommends joining private clubs, attending yoga and Pilates classes, and engaging in activities like golf, which attract older, affluent men. “[08:07]” She suggests, “First off, anything spiritual? Metaphysical, Spiritual. Woo-woo. Who cares? Don’t care. Your belief. Put your belief at the door.” Patti emphasizes the importance of frequenting places where single men of a certain caliber are likely to be present, such as church gatherings, country clubs, and upscale social events.
Age and Relationship Dynamics The discussion touches on the optimal age range for finding serious relationships, with Patti advocating for men over 40. Kristin shares her personal situation, saying, “[09:30]” “I feel like it's about to start popping for me... I'm not looking to just have a warm body next to me. It's gotta be someone who's really bringing something to the table.” Patti concurs, highlighting that men in their 40s are often more established and ready for commitment compared to their younger counterparts.
The Role of Self-Love and Personal Growth A significant portion of the conversation focuses on the importance of self-love and personal development in the dating process. Patti asserts, “[57:07]” “Self-love is okay. So what you need to do is the five non-negotiables.” She advises women to establish clear personal standards and boundaries, ensuring that they seek partners who align with their values and life goals. Kristin echoes this sentiment, emphasizing that “everyone in my life still is still married,” underscoring the challenge of finding single men in certain communities.
Red Flags in Potential Partners Patti outlines several red flags to watch for when dating. She warns against men who speak ill of their exes, describe themselves as "collectors," or remain overly connected with past relationships. “[71:38]” She explains, “If he doesn't give you Saturday night, you are not the girl. You're not it.” Patti also discusses the dangers of love bombing and the importance of recognizing when a partner's initial charm is merely a façade for deeper issues.
Relationship Maintenance and Communication Effective communication is highlighted as crucial for sustaining healthy relationships. Patti recommends setting clear expectations and boundaries from the outset. “[67:39]” She counsels, “Don't give him slack. Ask questions like, are you in therapy? What do you feel about marriage? What do you feel about kids?” Kristin adds that maintaining open dialogue about relationships ensures both partners are aligned in their expectations and commitments.
Psychic Abilities and Personal Insights An intriguing segment of the episode delves into Patti Stanger’s claimed psychic abilities. She shares personal anecdotes about predicting significant life events from a young age, such as her aunt’s divorce and her grandmother’s passing. “[33:08]” Patti reveals, “I've always been like that as a child. I come from a narcissistic, alcoholic background.” While these insights add a unique dimension to the conversation, the primary focus remains on practical matchmaking strategies.
Conclusion The episode concludes with a heartfelt exchange between Kristin and Patti, celebrating the importance of honesty and self-awareness in the pursuit of love. Patti emphasizes the value of having a "roster of three," encouraging women to date multiple people simultaneously to refine their preferences and increase the chances of finding the right match. “[43:38]” She advises, “As you do this, you refine your taste. You see, you level up. So when you get to your level right now... you're like, I’m bored. So now you're like, I’m ready to meet him.”
Notable Quotes
- Patti Stanger: “Where are the men?” [00:56]
- Kristin Cavallari: “I am at that phase right now... I’m not looking to just have a warm body next to me.” [07:23]
- Patti Stanger: “Self-love is okay. So what you need to do is the five non-negotiables.” [57:07]
- Patti Stanger: “If he doesn't give you Saturday night, you are not the girl.” [71:38]
Final Thoughts This episode offers a blend of professional advice and personal anecdotes, providing listeners with actionable strategies to navigate the complexities of modern dating. Patti Stanger’s expertise, combined with Kristin Cavallari’s relatable experiences, makes for a compelling discussion that encourages women to take control of their love lives with honesty and intention.