Why I'm Still Single with Justin Anderson

Summary

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Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari

Episode: “Why I'm Still Single” with Justin Anderson
Date: June 2, 2026
Host: Kristin Cavallari
Guest: Justin Anderson
Production: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

Kristin Cavallari returns with her friend, celebrity hairstylist Justin Anderson, for a candid, humorous, and unfiltered discussion on why she’s still single. Responding to frequent listener requests about her love life, Kristin gives listeners a behind-the-scenes look at her lackluster dating adventures, the red flags she’s encountered, and what truly turns her off. With plenty of laughter, brutal honesty, and the duo’s signature chemistry, they dissect dating in the social media age, uncover what makes them ick, and share memorable stories from both recent encounters and deep in the vault.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kristin’s Current Dating Status (02:04–05:28)

• Kristin admits she isn’t dating much and hasn’t had any successful dates lately:

  “Literally every time I ask people…they’re like, talk about your dating life. The reason I haven’t is because I have not been going on dates.” (02:08)

• She hints at pressure from her audience to discuss her relationships but wants to be honest about the lack of action.

2. The "Pierre" Situation: Red Flags & the Sober/Vegan/CrossFit Question (03:23–15:17)

• Kristin recounts a setup with a younger, sober man (“Pierre”) who she initially dismissed due to age and lifestyle differences.

• Both Kristin and Justin discuss how being with a sober partner or vegan would feel misaligned for them:

  “I could date someone sober before I could date a vegan.” – Justin (07:17)

• CrossFit and its “cult-like” intensity are also a dealbreaker for both:

  “I also wouldn’t want to date someone who does CrossFit.” – Kristin (07:31) “It’s such a dorky cult.” – Justin (07:34)

The Infamous Old Yacht Photo (08:51–15:10)

• Kristin realizes her date sent her a shirtless boat photo from 2014, not a current photo as implied.

  “This photo was taken in 2014…I can’t…I was 12 years old.” – Kristin (09:39) “Now you’re a liar. I think there’s like so many layers to that…how deceptive it is.” – Kristin (10:14)

• She suspects he uses the same flattering “yacht” image to impress multiple women.

  “I think he has it so accessible because he uses it often with a lot of different girls.” – Kristin (13:19)

• This prompts a discussion about authenticity in early dating, use of filters/Facetune, and the importance of in-the-moment photos.

3. Ghosting, Mixed Signals & ‘All In’ Energy (15:49–18:14, 22:26–24:50)

• Kristin admits that the old photo was the final straw; she ghosted Pierre, then gave him an honest letdown about needing to be “all in” to prioritize someone.
• When he appears flaky about last-minute plans, Kristin is swiftly turned off and reaffirms her need for small but consistent communication.

  “I just…there’s, like, certain things. I’m like, I don’t like you enough to do this.” – Kristin (22:41) “If I liked you enough…But by the way, if I liked you enough, I shouldn’t be doing it anyways.” – Kristin (23:05)

4. Baggage Claim & the DM Bombshell (25:00–34:02)

Airplane Meet-Cute…or Not

• Kristin shares a story of receiving a flirty note on a plane (“I’m probably buried in your DMs like I am at the back of this plane…”) from a guy who slides her his IG handle (25:14).
• With Justin’s encouragement, she meets him in person post-flight and admits he’s cuter in real life.

Social Media Sabotage

• Within hours, she gets a public TikTok comment: “Are we dating the same man? A finance guy living in [location], has two kids…” (29:43).

• This instantly destroys trust and any interest:

  “I can’t go to dinner with him now and be open and be myself and tell him anything. Like, I can’t talk about my ex-husband or my kids…because now I don’t trust who he’s gonna tell.” – Kristin (32:00)

• Justin and Kristin unpack the perils of dating as a celebrity and how quickly news travels through social circles.

5. “Show Texts for Clout” & Questionable Intentions (34:51–37:42)

• Justin notes some men text Kristin just to show off:

  “He’s showing people. Because they’re like, no way are you talking to her…Like, he could be erasing four messages…” – Justin (35:58)

• Kristin recounts a man she met only once who continues messaging her as if they’re close, likely for bragging rights.

6. “Mole Dick”: The Wild Story Vault (37:32–43:20)

Dating a Famous Guy with a…Mole

• Kristin tells a never-before-shared story about a brief romance, a hotel date, and a so-called "mole on his dick":

  “He pulls out his dick and shows [it off]…I’m literally sitting there going, I don’t see anything.” – Kristin (39:13)

• Justin speculates the “mole story” is a ploy to get naked early; Kristin suspects deeper insecurity, not size rumors.

• She’s grateful she “didn’t suck that mole dick” (41:13), reflecting on the value of waiting for emotional connection.

7. The "Icks" List: Dating Dealbreakers (45:52–68:09)

Some Top Icks:

• Social Media Red Flags:
  Kristin wants a man who isn’t active in the comments or doing “cringey” sexy posts.

  “My future man is not on social media.” – Kristin (50:46)

• Overly Groomed or Prickly:
  Both loathe men who razor hard beard lines, shave arms/legs, or have “hard lines” down below.

  “A hard line [on beards] tells me how insecure you are…” – Kristin (54:05) “Short is cute because it’s like a little fuzzy…” – Justin (55:04)

• Butt Stuff & Boundaries:
  Cautious humor around men requesting anal play — “Don’t come at me with your butt stuff. Get the fuck out.” – Kristin (56:28)

• Control and Bedroom Dynamics:
  Kristin likes to “be on top” to orgasm, not to dominate — “I can get on top and come in two seconds.”

• Grammar Issues:
  Major turn-off for men who can’t use “there/their/they’re” correctly (66:08).

  “Grammar on a man is a…big deal to me.” – Kristin (66:08)

• Flip Flops & Grooming:
  Bad flip-flops, especially with jeans/at dinner, and not keeping toenails tidy — instant ick.

• Fear of Spiders:
  Kristin can’t stand a man squealing over spiders or showing fear (62:14).

8. When to Cut and Run: The Ghosting Tipping Point (61:15–62:10)

• Kristin discusses her zero-tolerance for chasing anyone who doesn’t show clear and timely interest.

  “If I feel someone pull away in the slightest, I am like, okay, I’m out…’” – Kristin (61:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On men sending old photos:

  “Now you’re a liar. I think there’s so many layers to that, how deceptive it is.” – Kristin (10:14)

• On vegan/CrossFit daters:

  “I could date someone sober before I could date a vegan. And I’m sorry if you’re vegan…It’s just too much.” – Justin (07:17)

• On quick gossip:

  “You tell two people who tell two people who tell two people…” – Kristin (32:00)

• On “icks”:

  “A hard line [beard] tells me how insecure you are…” – Kristin (54:05) “My future man is not on social media.” – Kristin (50:46)

• On boundaries in sex:

  “Don’t come at me with your butt stuff. Get the fuck out.” – Kristin (56:28)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Kristin’s dating hiatus & audience pressure: 02:05–05:28
• The “Pierre” story (setups, dating criteria, sober/vegan talk): 03:23–15:17
• Yacht photo + inauthentic dating pics: 08:51–14:07
• Ghosting/letting someone down: 14:52–18:05
• Plane meet-cute & TikTok DM bombshell: 25:00–34:02
• Dating as a celeb / people clout-chasing via texts: 34:51–37:42
• Mole Dick/Big-Name Old Hollywood Hotel Story: 37:32–43:20
• “Icks” list — Red flags & dealbreakers rapid-fire: 45:52–68:09

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Tone & Style

• Raw, humorous, and full of explicit honesty.
• Frequent self-deprecation, banter, and friendly roasting between Kristin and Justin.
• Sarcastic, playful, and sometimes deadpan delivery, yet always meant to empower and warn listeners about present-day dating pitfalls.

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For New Listeners

If you want to know what it’s really like to date post-divorce in a fishbowl, what to avoid on dating apps, or you’re fascinated by the icks and oddities of modern relationships, this episode is a must-listen for the laughs, the jaw-drops, and a healthy reminder: Sometimes, being single is just less exhausting.

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Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is, let's be honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality tv, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Cause I got all the power. Yep. Just getting camera ready. Hi. Hi, Justin.

[B]

Is there a camera with the two of us together or just one?

[A]

No, I really should. I actually have a third camera. I should bust it out and get a two shot. Here's the problem. It's just me here. You know what I'm saying? Like, I could hire someone obviously to come and do all that, but like, it seems.

[B]

Oh, yeah, producer wise. I mean, like, it's just you. I'm like, hi, I'm here. No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

For like the logistics of the podcast. Like, I should set up a third camera, but it's like, when am I going to do that?

[B]

Oh my God, I love these fit.

[A]

Aren't they good?

[B]

It's really good.

[A]

Okay. This is the first time that Justin has tried.

[B]

Sponsored Hashtag ad, Hashtag co founder. Yeah, I'm just kidding. It's really good.

[A]

These are these new drinks that I just launched called Fizz In. They are sparkling real juice drinks and there's protein in them. And this is the first time Justin actually tried one. And you really do. They're good, aren't they?

[B]

Really, really good. Like, I would drink these like all throughout the day.

[A]

So I have. I used to. We've got like a second fridge in my house that I was stocking it with the fizz in. My kids drink so many of them that.

[B]

Is there a problem with that?

[A]

No, but I'm just like, you guys. I.

[B]

But can you get too much collagen? Not really. Right?

[A]

I don't think so. But I just, I'm like, I don't want to have to keep asking f to send me more. So now I just leave them in my garage. I know, but I'm just like, you

[B]

guys, they're like, girl, you're going through so many cases. Like, can your kids.

[A]

No, I'm not even kidding.

[B]

Your kids are glowing like your kids. They look like babies.

[A]

My. When they first sent them to me to test them, I had my kids with me and they tried them and they were like, mom, you have to do this. They're so good.

[B]

No, the flavor is amazing. Outstanding.

[A]

Thank you. Okay. So. Hi. It's nice to have you back.

[B]

It's wonderful to be here. Thank you for having me.

[A]

You Guys, we always love when you grace us with your presence. I thought it would be fun to do an episode about why I'm still single. Because literally every time I ask people, like, what do you guys want to talk about on the podcast? They're like, talk about your dating life. And I'm like, the reason I haven't been, you guys is because I have not been going on dates. And the two or three, like, little potential dates I could have had, or maybe I did have, whatever there. They've been disasters. So anyways, I just figured I could fill you guys in on why I'm still single.

[B]

Why does your face look like that? I mean, beyond the. I know you got the facial, but, like, your face looks so snatched. Really is going on. How do you do this so fast?

[A]

Well, you swear to God?

[B]

Yeah, it looks like snatched.

[A]

And tight is the collagen.

[B]

Is it? Okay, I'm going to chug these. I'm going to be wrong.

[A]

Do you swear to God?

[B]

No. You look, you. Your face looks so snatched. I haven't seen you in like two weeks.

[A]

Oh, my God, I'm so happy. Yeah, I went. I got a facial on Saturday, like, literally two days ago. And it was honestly the best facial I've ever had. But, I mean, shouldn't do anything on me. That was like, you know, groundbreaking. Or maybe she did.

[B]

Hey, we don't know. No, your face looks really good.

[A]

Wow. Thank you. I really am happy to hear that. Makes me feel good. Okay, what were we just talking about?

[B]

You haven't had any amazing dates.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Okay, so the last time you were here was after the slutty Valentine's Day party, remember?

[B]

Oh, my God, that was a long time ago.

[A]

That was February.

[B]

Goodness.

[A]

So this. You guys. And nothing was going on at the time. I think I had said I met a guy at that party. I ended up FaceTiming with him and I just figured he was too young, right? Like, I'm not going out with a 30 year old. Come on. I just. I felt the age, so I. I just said no. But then around the same time, a mutual friend set me up with this guy in New York.

[B]

Why do you have that little.

[A]

I don't know, I sound like I smoked a pack of cigarettes. And I swear to God, I didn't even have a drag of one, so I'm not sure what's going on. Anyways, so my friend was like, this guy, what should we call him? We should call him Pierre.

[B]

Why do I think he's French? He's American, right?

[A]

He is, but he thinks he's European, actually. Perfect. Pierre. Okay, so she's like, pierre. She posted a picture of the two of us, and she was like, pierre

[B]

posted a picture of the two you?

[A]

She posted a picture of her and I. Oh, right. Like LA or something. And she's like, pierre has always had a crush on you. Would love to take you out. And at the time, I'm like, honestly, fudge it. Because I haven't been on a date in months. And I'm like, he's younger than me, probably wants kids. So in my head, I'm already like, it's probably not going to go anywhere,

[B]

but it's a great attitude to have. But here's really going to do it

[A]

with a positive, because I have friends that are like, no, but like, it's good to, like, get back into the energy of dating, eating, like, dates, baguette dates. Right? Like, it's an energy. And I'm all for that. I do believe that. So in my head, I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's great. Okay. He flies to Nashville. It's very easy for me. We go to dinner. It's a really nice date. He's sober, which is fine, but why am I.

[B]

It's fine, just not for me.

[A]

Why am I always being set up with sober people? I'm not sure what the message is there.

[B]

I don't think there's a message. I just think it's coincidence that we're

[A]

just living in this sober era.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Which is, by the way. Like, I don't even drink that much, but I do want to be able to go to dinner once in a while and have a few drinks with my boyfriend. Like, that is important to me on vacation. Drinking, getting drunk once in a while, I gotta do it. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, that's a real thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to drink at home, and I don't want to. I want to go weeks without drinking. But when I do drink, I want to get well.

[B]

That's so funny about you and Ice, because we talk about, like, we can go weeks without drinking, but then when we go out, big vacation, we have a ton of fun, we let loose or whatever. And I love that. I don't ever want that to change, you know? But I do think about the thing. Like, I don't think I could be with somebody who's sober. Because if I was on a vacation with someone and I was drinking and not like you and I ever get sloppy and hammered or anything, you and I actually really hold our stuff together. But you can tell when you're sitting with someone who's had a few drinks.

[A]

Thousand.

[B]

So I'd be. They're judging the. Out of me. Well, and.

[A]

Because everyone becomes annoying when you're sober and everyone's drunk. And I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be like, oh, my God, shut the upper. Yeah. Even though I. I do stand by. I think you and I are, like, pretty 10 and 2. Even when we're, like, completely gone.

[B]

No, we are. But I even think that you and I in particular, like, we get loud, we want to laugh, and it's kind of like if someone's not on that level, I also am kind of like, go home and.

[A]

No, it's true. You know, why are you here? Yeah, that was like, when I was pregnant, I was never. I never wanted to go out. Like, you couldn't.

[B]

But I think that's in our own head because actually there are sober people who are really fun.

[A]

Okay. So someone in la, not that long ago, who was also sober, I asked him about going out and he was like, here's the thing with annoying people. He's like, if you're annoying drunk, you're probably annoying sober. And I was like, oh.

[B]

Or even more annoying.

[A]

Right. It just enhances it. Right.

[B]

So I think we're more fun drunk.

[A]

A thousand percent.

[B]

We're fun going.

[A]

I'm like, I'm your best friend when I'm drunk.

[B]

Everyone, Everyone.

[A]

It's like, if I'm drunk, definitely come up and say hi. Okay, so. But it was a good day. And he didn't, like, act sober. He wasn't, like, annoying about being sober. And it was fun, but it was kind of one of those things.

[B]

He wasn't, like, a vegan about it. About it. I could date someone sober before I could date a vegan.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

I couldn't date someone who's vegan. And I'm sorry if you're vegan. I just. I don't enjoy that kind of talk. I. It's just too much.

[A]

Well, it's a lot of judgment.

[B]

It's a lot of judgment.

[A]

Right? Because you were over here, like, crushing steaks and they're going to be judging for sure.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Not for me.

[A]

I also wouldn't want to date someone who does CrossFit.

[B]

Oh, my God. Do you know that that's, like, a huge part of why me and my ex broke up, too. Like, he got really into CrossFit and it's such a dorky cold. It's so weird how obsessed they all get with each other. It's like a weird fraternity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like, if you're not doing it, you're so on the outset. I could never date a CrossFit person.

[A]

No, never. And they love to talk about it. Same thing with. As being a vegan. Like, it's all they ever talk about.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I know we're stereo typing guys, but that's okay because that's just what we do. Okay. So it was a good day. And I. But do you remember I called you and I. I really hope he never hears this because I hate saying this, but I'm just being honest. Remember I called you on the way home and I was like, I honestly don't care if I never see this man ever again.

[B]

Yeah, I remember that.

[A]

All right. But then I'm continuing to make plans with him because this is also the. That I do. So we keep talking. Right.

[B]

He's hot, though. It's like, I get it.

[A]

He's hot. And he was fine. Like there were things. There are things about him. So we go to London for spring break and we continue talking and he sent me a photo. And. And at this point, we had been doing a lot of voice notes. So he sends me a photo of him on a boat on the phone and he says, listening to your voice notes. And I was like, fuck, he looks extra good in that photo. So I save it to my camera roll and then I went to go find it in my camera roll and I couldn't find. Find it.

[B]

So I am like, that's how it happened.

[A]

Yeah. So, like, if you save a photo,

[B]

like, I hate that the iPhone does this, by the way. If you save a photo, it goes back to when it was taken. Yeah, that's the dumbest feature ever. I don't know when they took the photo.

[A]

Dumbest. Or is it the smartest? If you're dating, maybe in the dating world, honestly. And girls. Also, the reason I'm telling you this is so you know, if you ever want to send a photo from the past. So I have to find this photo, you know, can go to like recent saved or whatever. And then if you. If you go to your photo and you do a swipe up on it, it tells you all of the information about that photo. It tells you the date, it tells you if there is. It's been edited. It tells you like, what filter is on it. Everything. Right. So this photo was taken in 2014.

[B]

I know that. So I can't really react.

[A]

But I was 12 years old. Imagine if I was sending photos from 2014. That's before I had Sailor. Like, what? I was a different person. And the craziest part is, too. Well, a. He looked so good because he was so young, but also he was, like, really young in that photo, but there was, like a. Like, a filter on it. Do you remember? I showed this too. It was, like, in 2014, when everyone

[B]

was putting this, like, the sepia or whatever.

[A]

Yes. Like this filter on it and then. And then once go.

[B]

Do you remember that?

[A]

Yes. I loved that. But that was weird because here's the thing. I understand, like, you want to look good in a photo or whatever, but now you're a liar. I think there's, like, so many layers to that, how deceptive it is. And also listening to my voice notes. You're a fucking liar.

[B]

Okay, so I know this story. So I was waiting for you to get it out before I reacted. And my thing is, is he. He was on that boat when he was texting you.

[A]

He was really on a boat.

[B]

He was on the same boat, maybe the same boat, yes. And my immediate thought was, okay, he wanted to find a cute picture of him on the phone to, like, create a moment. Like, look, this is me on the phone, or whatever. I don't necessarily think he meant, like, this is me right now. I thought it was kind of fair that.

[A]

By the way. That's fair. No, I don't think it was, like, the listening to your voice notes, I think is more of a joke. I agree with you. I don't think it was like, him actually listening to my. He's not trying to pretend like he was really listening to my voice notes. But my thing is, is why are you going through your camera roll from 14 years ago? Or are you also sending this photo to every girl?

[B]

Okay, so that's where your head goes. Because mine doesn't go there. Mine's like, is he trying to create a mo. I think it's weird regardless. Like, just snap a selfie or whatever. Also, like, I'm not one of those people. Like, people really take this stuff really seriously. Like, when they send people photos, Like, I'm. Well, I don't really care.

[A]

You don't think that's a big deal?

[B]

No, I think it. I think it's weird to, like, find the perfect photo. Like, even when I was dating, I used. But I'm bad at this stuff. I would do, like, a grandpa angle and, like, just send it to him. Like, I don't really think that stuff through because also, like, I would want people to, like, already know what? I. I don't get the whole, like, cat or trying to find the perfect moment. I'm not that kind of aesthetic.

[A]

I've seen you in person. Like, I know what you look like.

[B]

Yeah. So that immediately turned you off. But when did you say something like, oh, you look so hot. You look cute. And then did he respond to that?

[A]

I see. I don't even remember, probably. And because. And that was my biggest standout from. It was. I do remember looking at that photo and being like, damn, he looks good.

[B]

So we were together in London when that happened. Right. And I remember you showed me, and I was, like, floored. Right. But then the more I kind of looked at the photo, the photo was, like, from further back. Like, it was more about the moment. It wasn't like his abs up throat or anything. It was. It was. It was further back. It was further back. So it was kind of like he was, like, trying to create a moment or whatever. I kind of wish. I remember we talked about this, but you were like, I'm gonna call him out. And I was like, no, you can't do that or whatever. I kind of do wish you were like, bro, that picture says 20. See if he goes, oh, yeah. I was just, like, trying to create, like, I was trying to share a moment or something.

[A]

I was joking around.

[B]

But bottom line, oh, my God, that would be mortifying if he's listening right now.

[A]

I know that's like, my only drawback of a podcast is like, I want to say all the things, but I also feel so bad if he hears.

[B]

I'm trying to think if there's ever a situation where I would do something like that if I was talking to somebody. But I'd probably mention in the message, be like, oh, here's me in Italy 10 years ago. I'm in the same spot.

[A]

Because, by the way, I. The fact that you're gonna send someone new, that you're talking to a photo that old, like, how does that even cross your mind? I couldn't tell you one photo that I have from 2014.

[B]

Oh, so you're thinking even it might be in his favorited.

[A]

I think he sends it often.

[B]

That's what you send out, so that's okay.

[A]

So ultimately then I think, like, where I got to, because I was like, that's fudgeing weird. I think he has it so accessible because he uses it often with a lot of different girls. Oh.

[B]

And it's kind of like the bragging of a yacht. Yacht.

[A]

The yacht. His body looks Good. He's in a bathing suit. Honestly, like, his dick looked big in his bathing suit. Like, every.

[B]

I want to see that picture.

[A]

Yeah. Like, everything was, like, working, you know? And so. Okay, let me pull this up.

[B]

Okay. So that's what it is.

[A]

I think, like, when I really thought about it, that was more of, like, my issue.

[B]

I can understand that if you have, like. If someone said, like, oh, send me a.

[A]

By the way, this photo is the very last photo in all of our photos because of the date. And by the way, look at this fucking. The filter on it just kills me. It just kills.

[B]

Wait. Okay. It's actually way different than I remember you guys. I thought it was from further away. No, I was thinking this is straight on. He looks like he's a boner, right?

[A]

He looks like he's a boner.

[B]

He is sexy.

[A]

Justin. No, say the course. Focus.

[B]

I'd also like to say, for the record, he's a really nice guy and, like, really cool. Like, he's not a douchebag.

[A]

By the way, even the more up part about this is that I hung out with him in New York.

[B]

After all, like, this even matter. It mattered for about four. And you still didn't say anything about it, right?

[A]

I really. I almost did, though. No, that's the thing. It's like, I actually like it. So. Okay. After that, I, like, slowly started removing myself from the situation, and then I ultimately tried to just ghost him. Yeah. Not my typical mood, but I just.

[B]

Because that tells you. Liar. Energy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And I just think, like, it's gross if you have photos that you're like, I do not have one photo in my phone that I'm consistently sending to. I mean, I also have no guys in my phone, but, like, even in one, I have. I. I didn't even do shit like that. Girls don't even do that shit.

[B]

No. Well, isn't everything about that supposed to be, like, spontaneous? Like you're supposed to sound like, in the moment. And he tried to make it seem like it was in the moment, listening to your.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Because now that I see the picture, it is direct on. For some reason, I remembered it being from further away and it was him just sitting there. So. Yeah, that's like, very specific.

[A]

Yeah. And then listening to your voice notes. No, I'm sorry, sir.

[B]

When you send a picture back, is yours always in the moment?

[A]

Always. Always. Again, I wish I had, like, you know, my. What's the word? My repertoire.

[B]

Yeah, your stash.

[A]

Stash. Of photos. I don't have that. I know, because also, you can see the date on them. You can't do.

[B]

I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

[A]

Yeah. And girls, you can't be putting filters on them now. You can't use Facetune. I have you guys in the. What I have done when I'm sending a guy something, and this is screenshot.

[B]

It's.

[A]

Well, I wish. I think we've tried that. But I will sometimes, like, smooth out the veins, like, in my hands or my feet. And I sent one, I think, to him, actually, to Pierre. And when I scrolled up on it, it said Facetune. And I was like, oh, my God, he's gonna think I'm, like, editing myself when I'm really not.

[B]

That is so unnecessary, too, by the way. But I guess it's in, like, the. We live in a time where it's, like, calling out AI and calling out when things aren't real. But, like, you can edit out a bruise on your hand if you want to.

[A]

Oh, my God. I wasn't, like, changing my body shape.

[B]

Oh, my God. How do the Kardashians send anything?

[A]

They can't.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

Maybe they. Maybe it is the screenshot. I feel like we tried that, though. I can't remember. We'll have to redo it again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Problem with the screenshot is I feel like the quality is never as good.

[B]

Yeah, they say that, but I feel like it's not really necessarily true, even

[A]

if you zoom in.

[B]

Zoom in.

[A]

Probably zoom in. Well, anyway, so I did ghost him, and then finally he was like, hey, like, where you been? Blah, blah, blah.

[B]

And then I was, well, you're not telling the whole story.

[A]

No, I will. No, no. This is like. There's, like, a few parts.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Part one, Part two.

[A]

Part two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was just like, hey, I'm not all in. And, like, I have to be all in on something to give something time and energy. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, great. We ended well. So then I was. I was in New York a few times in April, and the second time I was there with Biggs. He texted me, and he was like, how long are you in New York for?

[B]

Because he saw you on social media.

[A]

Yeah. And so I was like, oh, funny. I'm actually here for another night. Anyways, there's a group of us. We went to dinner. We ended up having a lot of fun.

[B]

You had a lot of fun?

[A]

We had a lot of fun. And he is great. He's very fun. He's, he's great. And for so many reasons, I think the, the thing for me is I stand by the fact I'm not all in. I have to be all in to make you a priority. And my right now, it's just hard. I think in a couple weeks my life's gonna settle down a little bit. But right now, with the end of school and Miami swim and just like all these things, I don't really have time for someone at the moment. And then he goes to Europe for like the whole summer. So I don't know. That's fine.

[B]

Where is he going in Europe? Will we cross paths?

[A]

Well, I told him that we're gonna be in Mallorca. He was like, I can come over. I was like, well, hang on.

[B]

Could be fun though.

[A]

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[B]

He said, oh, this is after the fun night in New York.

[A]

Yeah, this is like literally yesterday.

[B]

Oh, you didn't tell me about this.

[A]

This is yesterday at 8:42pm Hi. I'm sorry I didn't call this morning. Had a late night, and then ended up in this paddle tournament for like five hours.

[B]

Done. I can't.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. So. No, he's been the one that's fucking badgering me about hanging out and then I give you. But by the way, I understand it's last minute, but just the fact that you're not even going to say anything to me all day makes me think you're with another girl. Which, again, is fine. You're allowed to do that. But, like, I just. There's, like, certain things. I'm like, I don't like you enough to do this. But by the way, if I liked you enough, I shouldn't be doing it anyways. You, like, it's like a weird thing.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. It's so interesting the way that you're. I would be so bad at being single.

[A]

Kristen, what would you do in that situation?

[B]

I would be like, oh, he broke his leg. Or I, like, never would. I would think that I was the center of everyone's universe. And I think, no, he loves me. He's gonna get back to me.

[A]

And I think he.

[B]

But I wouldn't stand for it.

[A]

I think he does really like me, but I think he's a dude. And, like, I've get. I haven't. All I've done is kiss him. And we've been talking since February. Like, I think he's a guy. He's gonna go have sex. He's gonna. If there's a girl in front of him, he's gonna have sex with her, which is fine. You're. I literally, you're. I've hung out with him twice.

[B]

Like, you're saying that, like, at the paddle game, he had sex with Somebody.

[A]

I think he was with a girl that night. I just think, yeah, you couldn't text me in between? Like, I don't know.

[B]

Well, that's what I don't get. How easy it to be like, hey, I'm still thinking about it. I'm going to be a paddle game or message you later or, like, I

[A]

just can't swing it. Just a little communication.

[B]

And I'm sorry, but, like, there are certain people when you're dating, there's people that you, like, make a priority. Like, you should be a priority.

[A]

Well, and that's what's so weird, is, like, he has made me feel like I have been like, I want to hang out with you. Let me know when I can hang out with you. I can fly to Nash. I'm like, I need someone in Nashville because my life is so last minute. He's like, well, lucky for you, I'm crazy enough to get on a plane last minute. Like, these are the things he's saying to me. So that. But then when I do give him an opportunity, he goes silent for 24 hours.

[B]

Who do you think he's being? Like, I'm going to give her a taste of her own medicine?

[A]

I mean, could be. But also by. This is why never. This is why when a guy sends you a photo that's 12 years old, you ghost and you actually fucking stick to it. Okay? Because otherwise, here we are. Okay? So goodbye, Pierce. Suck my dick. Okay, next guy. Again. I think maybe this was coming home from New York. Oh, no, it was. Oh, my God.

[B]

It was. Okay, this is from natural.

[A]

This is coming from. Every time I leave Nashville, shit starts happening. Okay? So that literally the next day, I'm on a flight coming home to Nashville.

[B]

Run over.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes. Coming home to Nashville. And I get a napkin. Do you like that? I have props.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I get a napkin from my flight attendant.

[B]

This is the cute. I actually like this. Okay, keep going.

[A]

Okay, so I get this. Read the. Read the note.

[B]

Okay, so she's sitting on the plane and she gets this note passed to you or dropped off on your table

[A]

from my really sweet flight attendant. I think he was a sweet little gay guy. And he said, excuse me, ma'. Am, A guy wanted me to give you this.

[B]

Okay, so the note says, talking to your microphone. Oh, on the note on the napkin, it says, I'm probably buried in your dms like, I am at the back of this plane. If you have a minute after the flight, I'd like to introduce myself. And real life gives his IG Worst case, you can just tell me about adt, which. Okay, so now you told me this happened. My immediate reaction, I'm texting you a photo of it. Yeah. And I'm like, this is the cutest thing ever. Because I love in person stuff like this. I love people who take the extra step.

[A]

Confidence.

[B]

Yeah. I also think like, an airplane story is so cute. It's like very 90s. Yeah. You know, Meg riot, you know, like, whatever.

[A]

I literally, in my head, I'm like, this is it.

[B]

And I like all of this wording. Like, it's not nerdy to me. It's like the perfect, like, pace of, like, it's just cute to the point, like, whatever. So I immediately say, you were like, is this weird? And I was like, kristen, that's the most adorable thing ever. Like, don't make that weird. Like, that's really cute. And I was like, wait for him.

[A]

I don't think I said, is this weird? Because I actually loved it. I think, oh, no.

[B]

What happens? I did my stocking.

[A]

Justin is a detective, you guys.

[B]

I have a detective. I'm like a, on the Internet. So, like, I went in and just found out all this information or whatever. So I told Kristen the information that I found and she was like, well, what do you think? What was.

[A]

No, I'll tell you what it was. So I looked up his Instagram and he's cute, but I didn't think he was hot because I'm the most. Oh my God, I can't think today. Superficial. I'm the most superficial woman on the planet. He wasn't hot enough for me.

[B]

Yeah. You've also found some guys who aren't traditionally hot to be attractive, though.

[A]

Well, that's why I was like, I should meet him, like, face to face.

[B]

That's kind of what we talked about, right? You know, And I said, a guy who talks like that is going to have energy that, like, you're into because you like that. Like, man, go for it. Make things happen. Yes, whatever.

[A]

Yes. So that was my only hesitation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I, I, I love meeting people. I swear to God. Like, it's such a difference with men, meeting them in real life than just seeing photos.

[B]

We always say this, though, is like, and especially straight men, they're so much hotter in person. Especially a guy who, like, doesn't overthink Instagram. He's not like, posing right, wearing the perfect outfit. You'll see a guy, a straight guy, and you're like, oh. He's like. But then you see them in person sometimes you see their build, the way they carry themselves and, like, the way they talk and they're hot.

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

So I was like, kristen, he could be really, really hot. And you had checked a bag?

[A]

Yeah, I checked a bag.

[B]

I was like, did you check a bag? Yeah. I'm like, then just wait for him. Or like, whatever. I said, yes, wait for him as you're standing there.

[A]

Well, in my head, I'm like, I'm not, like, waiting for him off the plane. I was like, that's weird. So, yeah, I said to my sweet little flight attendant, I said, will you tell him that I'll meet him? And baggage claim. This flight attendant was like, yeah, I'm not your messenger,

[B]

so I'm not just it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What the.

[A]

But he did. Okay, so I'm in. By the way. I was so nervous. Like, I don't get nervous for a lot, but I was so nervous for this for some reason. Really, I don't.

[B]

You were hungover?

[A]

Yeah. So I'm in baggage claim waiting for, like, five minutes. Shut up. Honestly. And then he. He shows up, and he gave me a hug, and he was great.

[B]

We gave you a hug?

[A]

Yeah. Gave me a hug. Hotter in person.

[B]

You're hungry. You're all, hold me. You know when you're vulnerable, when you're hungover. I'm so vulnerable when I'm hungover.

[A]

So vulnerable. Oh, my God. So it was great. We talked for a few minutes. He told me where he lives. Here. He's got a couple of.

[B]

Close by.

[A]

Yeah, close by. I mean, I stalked his Instagram. I saw he had two daughters. Anyways, but. And then we were talking about going to dinner in the next few days. Like, our schedule with our kids, like, blah, blah, blah. And it was great. So he gets my number.

[B]

Cuter in person.

[A]

Cuter in person. And he's tall and, like, good energy.

[B]

There's, like, a vibe.

[A]

He seemed a little nervous, but, like, I. I was. I'm probably just projecting.

[B]

Yeah. Who knows what he thought about you? He thought, she smells like vodka.

[A]

No, literally. I was like. I told him I had to just own it because I looked haggard.

[B]

Please.

[A]

You know when you're hungover and you just have, like, alcohol seeping out of your pores? You're, like, greasy.

[B]

But sometimes I look better when I'm hungover. True, because it, like, dehydrates you. I look like skin D.

[A]

So we leave. He texts me, like, within 45 minutes.

[B]

I would say, this gets wild, you guys.

[A]

And, like, that's great. I'm like, cool. Love it. I love that he texted me, okay, then I'm just doing my little scroll on TikTok, of all places. This isn't even Instagram. And I get this, okay? So I said to him, it was a dm. It was actually a comment. Like a comment on a photo, Like a public comment. And it says, are we dating the same man? A finance guy living in. Has two kids. I'm just making sure I'm delusional. So you had done your research, and we figured out he is a finance guy.

[B]

So her comment matches up to who he is.

[A]

And I'm sorry, but I haven't been on a date in Tennessee in years. Years. And you can't tell me that that's a coincidence. That, by the way, took two hours. Two hours from. By the time I met him to when I. When that happened. So.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And of course, it's not a coincidence. So I'm like, this is weird. So. And we're, like, running through all the scenarios. It's like, okay, did he, like, tell everybody he knows? Like, I. I don't know. It's just weird. How does news like that travel that fast?

[B]

Well, I told you, my thing about it is, like. And I've said this with other guys, too, like, because you're so open and you, like, just say whatever, like, you're just an open book, right? And I've always said to you. I was like, kristen, when you're texting people, you need to pull back a little bit because, like, you don't think about yourself as being, like, famous or anything, but, like, people would love to show somebody their text messages with you. You know what I mean? And, like, I. Yeah, I've even, like, when I was doing hair, like, and I would talk about a certain client or, like, people like, oh, let me see their text message. Or I'm like, no, like, people are really into that stuff. If you're texting someone who's, quote, unquote famous, you know, like, anyone who's famous in my phone has fake names or, like, whatever. But most people, like, that's a cool thing. And for, like, a guy in that. That age, he could immediately be like, oh, my God, you have no idea who I was just talking to or whatever.

[A]

And he did tell me when we were talking for five minutes at the airport that one of his best girlfriends is obsessed with me and listens to my podcast.

[B]

See, so he. And that's not even. No, that's not even bad on him.

[A]

No, I actually love that he owned that.

[B]

No, but if he immediately was like, you're, you're not. You have no idea who I just like talked to. You're not going to believe this. Whatever you told her. But then how quick that stuff travels.

[A]

I know that's what people don't understand is like, you tell two people who tell two people who tell two people. And, and by the way, like, I don't even know if he is dating this person or whatever. I don't even care about that. It was just how quick, quickly it got back to me. So in my head I was like, I can't go to dinner with him next week now and be open and be myself and tell him anything. Like, I can't talk about my ex husband or like my kids or like normal things that you talk about on a date with someone because now I don't trust who he's gonna tell.

[B]

That's such a bummer. But it's such a real thing. Like you and I were really talking about it that day and I was like, that's the thing. Anything that you say on the date now, you know is immediately going to be told to people. And when you're here, like, especially here in town, like, you're private about like your kids and your businesses, whatever, that

[A]

kind of stuff, I don't want anyone in Tennessee knowing any about me either, though.

[B]

I get it. I get it.

[A]

I've got like my couple of friends and that's it. I don't want anyone to know what I'm doing, who I'm with. I like to be very private here. Well, so then he, whenever he texted me to like make an official plan for dinner, I just said to him, I was like, listen, you know, this is a DM that I got. And I just don't really play these games. Like, it can't be a coincidence. I haven't been on a date in years in Tennessee. And I was like, let's just chalk it up to a really great story. Like, I wish you nothing but the best, blah, blah, whatever. And he was like, well, I broke up with my girlfriend in January, so it must be a coincidence. He's like, but I can't imagine all the shit you have to deal with in, in your life with dating. He's like, I only told two people. My CEO who was with me on the plane, and then my friend who I said loves you. I'm like, okay, well, I don't know what to tell you. To me, it's like one of those things where I feel like it's the universe Being like, don't waste your time. Don't even go down this road. Like, that was immediate.

[B]

Immediate, Immediate. Yeah. And whenever things like happen like that quick, it's like, I don't know, it just kind of sets the pace for everything else. That's just weird.

[A]

That's a red flag. That's a huge.

[B]

I also don't. Now, I don't believe. I think he was dating somebody. Like, who would do that?

[A]

Who would do that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It wouldn't just be like a friend of your. Like, I don't know, it's weird.

[B]

And then the fact that she went,

[A]

you're allowed to date. Like, that's all.

[B]

It doesn't matter.

[A]

But also dating, I just met this guy. What are you talking about?

[B]

Yeah. And. But the fact that she went back far down on your profile, right, to make that comment.

[A]

Yeah, Like, I can't remember. I just remember it was weird though, because like, when you open up, tick tock and you go to activity. Because I don't like, sit here and like, read through my comments. But like, I. Again, and that's the other thing too is the fact that I saw it is also a sign. I don't see a lot of comments, but I saw that one and it happened to be like one of the main ones at the top of my. On a random photo. A random photo.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. So I don't know.

[B]

So that was that. He never reached back out?

[A]

Not after. No. It was like we. Oh, no. Because then I didn't respond to whatever. He responded to whatever he said.

[B]

What a bummer though, too. I mean, for him, even, like, if he was excited and if he was a really nice guy and everything, I'm sure he's like, what the, like, just happened. But I'm sure some. I'm sure someone he talked to said something and like, whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then even if it was somebody just messing with you, like maybe a friend of a friend of his, like, oh, let's do this, it'll be funny, or whatever. It's like, well, you just killed the shot of them, like hanging out or whatever.

[A]

That's weird too. I don't want to. You'd have friends that are weird like that.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Like, the whole thing is weird, but

[B]

just people in general, like, immediately telling people like, oh, I get it though. Like, if I met somebody, I was single and I met somebody hot on a plane, like, oh, I met the hottest guy on a plane or whatever. But it's different when it's a celebrity thing because they're like, oh, I met Kristen Cavallari. And then it turns into, like, a thing. You're talking about it recently with, like, one guy that you were kind of talking to. Can I tell a little bit? And then. Yeah, we won't say his name or anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But he is texting you. Like, you guys are having a relationship. So you'll send me the message and be like, justin, look, he's still texting, and it's like, very. Oh, Kristen. And I. And Kristen's like, he's crazy. Like, he, like. And I'm like, no, Kristen, he's showing people your messages. He's showing people. Because they're like, no way are you talking to her. And I bet you he's showing me, like, I miss you, baby. Like, been thinking about, like, I haven't talked to this in my. Also, you're not responding, like, at all. Like, he could be. He could be erasing before messages or something.

[A]

Oh, my God. No. Because it's weird.

[B]

It makes to me that's where my mind goes, because I'm like, either you're batshit crazy and you're having a relationship that's not happening in your phone with somebody, or you're doing this on purpose to show people. Like, no, look, I'm texting her, you guys.

[A]

I literally hung out with this guy one time in the fall. One time in the fall. And we talked for a couple weeks, and then I ended everything. He would FaceTime me, call me, text me over and over and over, and I never would fucking respond. I made the stupid mistake of responding. Bonding with you the other night.

[B]

How did we do it just for the plot?

[A]

I don't know. Because we're bored

[B]

by the way all this stuff is.

[A]

We're the problem. Oh, God. And. But it was. I miss you. I've got so much to tell you.

[B]

You said that? No, no, no.

[A]

He said to me. And I'm like, why? I've got so much to catch up with you on. I'm like, I don't even know you. Like, it's weird. I had to tell him again. Like, hey. Oh, you know what? It was because he's mo. He moved and he wanted some recommendations. So I was like, all right, I'll be nice and, like, give him some rec sense. And then I was like, this is not turning into anything, though. Like. And I've had to ghost him again. But it's like, to your point, either you have a screw loose or you're just showing people text messages. Like, look how Close. We are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, I don't know you, and you're acting like we're best friends that haven't talked in a couple months. Weird.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. So anyways, that's why I'm saying a

[B]

guy like that's not going to do that to any other girl. He's doing it to you because you're who you are.

[A]

Right, Right. Like, yeah.

[B]

Or. Or they're crazy.

[A]

Or they're fudgeing crazy. I do have one more story,

[B]

so I know it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

When?

[A]

You'll remember once I start telling it. So this is a few years old, but I felt like this is one I've never told before. And it's a good one. It's a good one. Okay. So I don't know, maybe four years ago, I went on two dates with a very famous man. And that's all I'm gonna say because I really don't want anyone to be able to pinpoint who this might be. Two dates in la, two really great days. Honestly, like, two of the best dates of my life.

[B]

This name has never been said publicly, so nobody can try to guess if you've heard of a name of somebody she dated before.

[A]

Yeah, you can't.

[B]

No one has ever said this name.

[A]

Unless this is a common story that's out there for other women. Okay. But at that point, like, fine. So our second date, we went to the Beverly Hills Hotel, and he got a suite, and we, like, swam all day, and then we took showers separately, and then we ate dinner on the patio, and it was great. Okay, so in between, like, pool and dinner, right?

[B]

You changed the hotel. Is that for the podcast?

[A]

I know. The first day was the Sunset Tower.

[B]

Oh, okay. Mis accountability.

[A]

So he's like, at one point, I think we're, like, in towels. Like, I just taking showers. He's like, you know how when you, like, first start dating someone, you have those insecurities about your body and, like, you just want, like, get them over with? And I'm like, I mean, yeah, like, sure. There's, like, little things, you know? And he's like, I just. He's like, can I just tell you mine? And I'm like, yeah. What? He's like, I have a mole on my dick. And I was like, do you know who I'm talking about?

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

And I was like, oh, okay. I was like, how bad is it? He's like, I mean, it's not, like, that bad. He's like, but it's noticeable. And he's like, can I just show it to you? And I'm like, yeah, you can show me it. So he pulls out his dick and he shows.

[B]

This is the first time you see it?

[A]

First time I've seen it.

[B]

Oh, my God. You're inspecting it like a fudgeing dermatologist. This is so not sexy.

[A]

My glasses on, you know, and just I'm literally sitting there going, I don't see anything. I'm like, there's he. I think he said it was like more of like a flesh colored, like a white, like, mole. Like, I'm not even kidding.

[B]

I'm forgetting this story right now. And now I'm grossed up. Please don't tell me it's like a prank where he's like, you get close and he whips you in the face with it. This is so weird. Inspect my mole.

[A]

Oh, my God, I'm dying. So I literally am like, I don't see anything. I don't see anything. Like. But I will say that this is mean, but I will say this. I think he's kind of known for having a big dick, and it wasn't that big.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

And I think that's really what the insecurity about was about. But anyways, okay, so I am like, I don't see anything. I am so proud to be able to sit here and tell you today I didn't suck it, I didn't touch it. I didn't do anything with that dick that was in my face. And then later I was thinking about it and I was like, oh, my God. That's what he tells every fucking girl to get his dick out because it's.

[B]

Oh, my God. Ew, that's so gross and weird because

[A]

once your dick's out, like, it's pretty common to be like, oh, well, so

[B]

you treated it like it was one of your boys. Like, you look. Oh, okay. Yeah, it looks. It looks okay. Might want to check in with a doctor. And then you, like, go your separate way.

[A]

Yeah, like, all right, thank you. You can put your pants back on now. Yeah, I mean, I think we, like, made out and stuff, but I was like, I was like, I'm not having sex with you. I'm, you know, like, I'm pretty. I'm really fudgeing good about sleeping with someone initially.

[B]

Like, good at doing it or, like, making sure it doesn't happen.

[A]

But I like to wait a few times. I've had two one night stands. I've told you guys on the podcast, but other than that, like, I'm really good. I'm not gonna sleep with a guy right away because I have to have a real emotional connection. And when I tell you how fucking happy I am that I did not hook up with him, by the way, is the last time I ever saw him was when he pulled out his fucking moly dick.

[B]

I have this whole thing about that is I think he, I. His energy is just no bad news. So I think that he immediately knew, like, he wasn't gonna be able to pull his normal tricks on you.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

And he had this whole thing where he's like, I've had a crush on you forever, like, I loved your energy or whatever. And when people say that, it goes two ways for me. Either they genuinely love the Kristen cavallary, like, strong energy, or it's like a weakness for them and they're gonna see, like, how much they can try to cut it down or something. And to me, like, when we really start paying attention to a lot of the text and stuff, because then we start, like, looking at stuff, I'm like, oh, he's insecure. And he like, weirdly wanted to, like, break you down, in my opinion.

[A]

Me, Control me. Yeah, he's a narcissist.

[B]

But do you remember that? That the way that that ended was really weird. It was really weird and creepy and like, answered everything like, oh, you have serious issues.

[A]

Major issues. Full blown narcissist. Couldn't have dodged a bigger bullet. And I'm happy I didn't suck that mole dick. That's my. Like, thank God. You know, this is why we have to get to know people before we sleep with them.

[B]

What's so weird about that too is like, also, I would understand if it was like this big, beautiful, and you had like a mole and he like, wanted you see, but if you just see like an average sized dick with a mole on it. Yeah, like, that's not hot.

[A]

Cute. Put it away. No, that's weird. You know, that's what he does. You know that's what he does.

[B]

But also, yeah, being famous that he immediately would think a girl would just, like, get down.

[A]

Like, let me, like, once you're both naked, it's like. Or I was. I had a towel on. But like, once you're naked, like, pretty. It's pretty common that, like, normally.

[B]

Were you grossed out right there?

[A]

Like, no. Oh, God. I'm really gonna go for it.

[B]

No, no, no, don't say this part. I know what you're gonna say.

[A]

And it's like, flat ass.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I Be honest with you. Changing out of a swimsuit. He had the flattest ass and, like, horrible back knee scars.

[B]

Okay, that's getting mean. That's. You can't control that. Well, I mean, he could do squats, but, like, there is a thing. You're an ass guy. I'm an ass guy. I love an ass. But like, if you just seem flat, but you got sick like a smoker. Yeah, you were like. You were like, sir, don't worry about the mole. You have to worry about your ass.

[A]

We got bigger fish to fry, buddy. Like, a flat ass on a guy is one of the biggest turn off.

[B]

You know what's so funny that I think that that comes from. Is you love the whole, like, masculine. A guy can take charge if he needs to. The guy is like the hunter and gatherer type stuff, you know, you have the roles or whatever. And an ass is power. An ass is strong. You want a guy that can pick you up and carry you down a driveway if it's snowy, you know, and

[A]

fight if he needs to protect me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If the world ends, he can, you

[B]

know, so an ass is all about, like, power. Like, that's where men's power is. Or like their biceps, you know, so if they're like flat and. Yeah, it's not.

[A]

I need you to have some strength on your bottom half.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Also guys who only lift weights with their arms and forget about their legs. I'm like, ew.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like the biggest egg for me. I love a big juicy butt on a guy and thick thighs. Maybe that's why in the past athletes have been such a big one.

[B]

Yeah. That's so your body type.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Makes you feel little.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Also you're strong. Like, imagine you're. Oh, we went to this ball recently. We were talking to this other guy that we were like, is he cute? Or whatever. And then we actually randomly saw him in person or whatever. I don't want to say his name.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So like, Kristen, we were like, seeing this guy who we thought was, like, cute online, whatever. And then we randomly saw him in person. Whatever. And he was tiny. Little.

[A]

Little.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He skipped a few meals.

[B]

Yeah. But you know what? So sweet and just like that. Good energy. He'd probably be a good boyfriend.

[A]

He would be the best boyfriend.

[B]

But you'd have to pick him up and carry him around.

[A]

I can't do that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm not gonna do that.

[B]

You don't have to protect.

[A]

I have to put them on my back. Come on, get on.

[B]

I love how we all live like the world is ending or we're going to be in these really intense situations where someone's gonna have to carry us out. But it feels like the world is going in that direction right now. So I think about it in case with his broken leg right now I lay in bed and I'm like, if something bad happened right now, I'd have to pick up two dogs and a fully grown man and carry him out of the house. Yeah, you know, like stuff like that.

[A]

Luck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

My other X with guys. For you, straight guys are just icky to me.

[A]

Oh, God, they've got so many.

[B]

And I hate to be that person because here's the thing, too. Even though I'm a gay man, I'm a man. At the end of the day, I'm still a man, you know? But I think that there's this new wave of, like, straight men because of social media that I'm noticing now where, like, guys. And I don't believe in, you can be a girly guy. You can be. I love a metro guy. You can do put concealer under your eyes if you want. I'm not going to judge you for that kind of stuff. But I'm talking about, like, guys on social media, like, acting sexy. Like, they're kind of acting like women.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Right. And so it's like, it changes it. For somebody who wants, like, a really manly man, I think that could be considered a shitty conversation where it's like, oh, you shouldn't. But I just. I think that that's a reality.

[A]

Like, let's put it this way, my future man is not on social media.

[B]

No.

[A]

Like, maybe he has one. And, like, maybe he'll scroll once in a while, but, like, he's not in the comments. I can tell you that we were

[B]

talking about this recently. Like, I was posting these funny videos about these guys who were acting really weird on social media. And then I was doing, like, a reaction video. And the majority of us, we all get it, right? And I think any normal straight man can laugh at that, too. Like, yeah, the guy looks like a douchebag, right? But then the guys who come into the comments being like, oh, who do you think you are to judge him? Or whatever, like, you're not any better. I'm like, first of all, I'm a gay man. Like, I'm gay. Like, I sing like an idiot on social media. Like, I don't care. But, like, it's just different for straight. But if you're coming into the comments defending it, that's even weirder.

[A]

Yeah, you're that you're the, you're the worst.

[B]

Yeah. And I think there are a lot of fabulous straight men out there. I. I love a lot of like, there's a lot of great ones. Yeah. But it's like this thing where like some of this stuff that's becoming normal now because of social media for men. It's weird. It's.

[A]

Think about like all the good guys that you know in your life, like your straight male friends. Like, I am alive on social media. That's what I'm saying. Or like maybe there are, but they're not like commenting and like, they're not part of the conversation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the biggest difference.

[B]

Like, I love, really post both of my brothers. I love, I think my brothers are both like really good examples of like just good straight men and they just, they kind of use social media, like scroll or they'll like look for a topic or whatever, but they're not commenting and liking girls things and stuff. Or like my sister's husband, same thing. He uses social media to look up surfing and fishing and stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, but yeah, these people who are getting in fights in the comment section.

[A]

I'm sorry, a man commenting and like in a fight is, Is disgusting.

[B]

Yeah. Remember the one guy that I got in a fight with because he tried to call you like a slut in the comments and then he had an open profile with his family and remember I called him out because I'm like, what is wrong with you? First of all, you have. I think he had daughters and you're calling a grown woman that you don't know in the comments a. Like, you're a weirdo. Get off the Internet. That is so weird. Like, if I saw my brother is doing that, I'd be like, are you guys okay?

[A]

Girl A that you don't know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Also I know those guys, to me, when they want to attack a woman for being a slut or whatever, that's the weakest form of a man.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Also, like, are you mad because you can't get a girl?

[B]

Or men celebrate being sluts, though. Like, they think that's hot. Like how many girls they hook up with or whatever. I think it's such a threat to guys when they think that a girl is like confident enough to just like hook up a lot that they want to like. A lot of guys unfortunately want to put women back in their place or whatever. And that's the stuff that really irks me because it's like, like, I don't know, in my opinion I agree.

[A]

Okay. And ick for me is when a guy shaves his jaw.

[B]

Oh, my God. Shaving a beard or trimming a beard is very, very important. I think that, like, gay men should. Well, some gay guys have bad ones, too. I think somebody should do, like, tutorial for them, because when men have, like, a hard line. A hard line. Or, like, their mustache, they'll, like, go under the nose, like, any sort of shaping. Like, I always keep a beard, and mine's really messed right now. I keep straight from a workout. Yeah, but you keep it a little bit messy. And then when clean it up, I use, like, three different guards to slowly trim up in here. You kind of shape the whole thing, you know, like, so it fades into it. You never want a hard line.

[A]

The hard line. The hard line kills me because also, I'm like. It just tells me how insecure you are because you're, like, trying to, like, get definition in your jawline.

[B]

Wait, you know, what's something that I always think about? And like, I said this recently on social media, but I think that somebody should, like, online teach something for straight men, like, how you should do that. I don't want to do it. That would be a really boring job for me. Also, I'm not looking for work right now, thank you very much. But I think that somebody should do it in the grooming department, because you know what I always think about, like, guys, like, do they know how to properly wash their ass and, like, trim?

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

When you've hooked up with guys, like, do they know how to trim that area down there?

[A]

Not usually. Usually it's also, like, hard lines or, like, shaved. And now it's growing in.

[B]

Oh, my God. That's what I always expect. Think, like, it's either, like, disgusting you. If you feel prickly. It's disgusting a guy who shaves their arms or their legs.

[A]

That's a deal breaker for me.

[B]

Yeah, But a lot of guys do that if they're, like, buff because they want to show off lines. I'm, like, the hairiest person on earth, and I don't.

[A]

Are supposed to be hairy.

[B]

Yeah. And also, like, it should be soft. If you're gonna trim it, trim it right. Like, use a guard. There's all different numbers for the guards, by the way. Like, it goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. You can do it a little bit shorter. Also, short is cute because it's, like, a little fuzzy and it still feels soft or whatever.

[A]

I don't think a man should just Be ha. Hairy.

[B]

Oh, girl, don't say that. You don't want them to have it all the way out like a big bush.

[A]

I thought we were still talking about.

[B]

Well, and then the other thing, the reason that I'm asking about this is because a big bush, you know what that does? Collects smell. And a lot of straight guys, I don't think know how to clean properly down there in those areas. Like, they're not sometimes straight guys.

[A]

Like, no, they're like, kind of gross.

[B]

Yeah. They have like skid marks in their underwear and stuff. You know, like.

[A]

Well, luckily I'm not eating anyone's.

[B]

Oh, my. Oh. Do girls do that?

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

Yeah, they like it.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Or the men ask for it.

[A]

I think men ask for it. And also some girls will put their fingers in guys buttholes. I won't. You do not ask me to do that because I will not. Oh my God, I won't do it.

[B]

I knew that this was like kind of. I always think that people are joking around. They talk about it. I don't think that's that bad, actually, because there's a lot of sense, senses or sensory stuff going on in your butthole. So like if you do tap a certain spot when they're about to come or whatever, it's a thing. I don't like anything near my butt at all. It's just not my thing. Yeah, but I'm not judging. I'm a gay man. Obviously I'm not judging butt stuff. But maybe a straight guy if he wants. You know what I think though? If a straight guy wants things done to his butt, he's done a lot sexually that he's bored. Like he's going to the next level.

[A]

That's what I think.

[B]

What do you have to do next? Choke him?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

You know, like.

[A]

Yep. You got to keep upping the ante.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I think.

[A]

Don't come at me with your butt stuff. Get the out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, also, no, I'm just. Sorry. No. Imagine me putting my finger in a guy

[B]

you'd be a dream for though, because you're kind of dominant. They'd be like, well, bend over. Aren't they like guys who do like, they like a woman to put on a strap?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I've heard this with other famous people. My friend Jasmine back in the day bucked a huge celebrity and used to put a strap on.

[B]

But you know what that is? It's like submissive. Like Pete. Guys who have to be in power all the time sometimes they want to be submissive.

[A]

It all right. Fair.

[B]

They want to just like.

[A]

Also, I don't like that with a man. Don't be submissive.

[B]

No, but I also think that's like. Well, no kink shaming. I think kinks are hot. Like, whatever. We love it. I just. I want to understand it, and I don't quite understand it because I'm actually, like, a control freak. And I feel like I'm always making all the decisions in my life, even with my friends and stuff, and growing up, even when I'm. When I was doing my career and stuff. But there's not one part of me that wants to, like, bend over and let someone spank me or something, you know? Like.

[A]

Like. Yeah. I mean, I. Yeah.

[B]

Would you want to be saying.

[A]

I wouldn't mind it. So it's interesting because in my life,

[B]

you like it a little.

[A]

I'm also the alpha, but in relationship and sexually, I do not want to be the alpha. I want to be submissive.

[B]

You say this, but you're kind of a liar. You're not being truthful, because I haven't

[A]

been in a relationship in forever.

[B]

No. But there's also this one guy that I remember while. While. While back that wouldn't let you ride on top, and it pissed you off because that's because you're a dominant Tom.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

You want to be in control. You're gonna be like, can we hardly.

[A]

Can we talk about this? Because that was fudgeing weird. I dated a guy right out of my marriage who did not want me getting on top when that is how I typically orgasm.

[B]

But you know what? I know exactly what it is, because I also love this guy. I love him a lot, and we're actually the same sign. And I actually see some of myself in him. I think he's a good guy. He really does want to be, like, the dominant one. He wants to, like, take control over it. But that's not going to work for you. Oh, my God. What if we have to change up the whole thing about who you're supposed to be with? You should be with, like, a softy. Yeah. Gentle lover. Loves.

[A]

No, because to me, me getting on top is not me being dominant. I'm just like. I can speed things up here, buddy, because you're not doing it other ways. So I can get on top and come in two seconds.

[B]

You really think that's what it is?

[A]

Yes. That's. Yes. I've always been like that since I was.

[B]

But then also, like, orgasming. Coming. You have to be in a place where you're comfortable enough to, like, go there. Are you not comfortable when somebody's on top?

[A]

No.

[B]

And so, genuine question. I'm not saying it's like, I know I'm not diagnosing you.

[A]

No. I can come other ways. However, typically, I come on top.

[B]

I think because you're a power top.

[A]

No, it's real.

[B]

I think you like that power. And that's hot, by the way. Like, you can own. I don't know.

[A]

Again, it has nothing to do with power. It has to just with other mechanics, the angle.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Like, truly, it's not because I'm like, I want to dominate and be in power right now. It's more just like, okay, I'm gonna come now.

[B]

Anytime I try to guess why she does anything, I'll get the brutal end of this. Like, later. She's gonna hit me after this. But I'm genuinely curious. Like, I always want to know this, the things or whatever. But that one was interesting because I think with the two of you, he has that personality. We know that from other people. Like, he likes to be that person. And I think sometimes guys have a little bit of a hard time with you because you say exactly what you want. You say no a lot. You call the shots a lot.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I have a lot of boundaries. To me, that's not being the dominant one, though. That's just, like, realistic with where my life is. I'm very direct. Those are all very real things about me, even in relationships. But I still. I want you to, like. I want the man to, like, take charge and lead the way. Like, I want to shut my brain off.

[B]

Except for in bed. You want to tell him what position to be in?

[A]

No, I want you. I want you. Him to take charge in the bedroom as well. But if you're not making me come with you on top, I'm gonna get on top so that I can come.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's really that simple. I think the guy you're talking about didn't like it because in his head, he's like, I couldn't get her to do it any other way, so I don't want her to. Then. Yeah. That's an insecurity on his part.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Because I'm like, I know what to do. I can just do it immediately.

[B]

Do you think you're an insecure person at all? No, I'm, like, not insecure about anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No. Like, is that weird, though? Like, because a lot of these things, when we talk about these guys, there Are insecurities. Right? And a lot of women do insecure things too. Like both ways when they're dating. I'm like a sicko that thinks I do everything right.

[A]

I will.

[B]

Maybe that's an issue.

[A]

I get. If I feel someone pull away in the slightest, I am like, okay. I'm out. Like, okay.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

But I don't think that's an insecurity. I think that's more just like a

[B]

reality or like a. Well, we talk about this all the time. People who like keep texting. Like, I would never text someone more than once. If I message somebody and they didn't message me back, it would just be, that's a done thing for me. You know, I would let them come back if they wanted to or whatever.

[A]

But I've been wrong about that in the past. Like there was this one guy in LA that I went on a date with and when I was going back to la, he said he was sick. And I was like, yeah, right, he's lying. Like truly in my head it was like, he's lying. And then I talked to him like a couple weeks and that's what I ghosted him. And then a couple weeks later he was like, I really was sick. I was like, I honestly didn't think that you were. He's like, no, I honestly was. And I was like, maybe I need to like chill out a little bit sometimes. Again, like I don't think it was the right person. Are you, you so hot.

[B]

I'm so hot in here. Thank God you said that, cuz I'm like burning up.

[A]

Sweating. I'm literally sweating. Okay, wait, I've got two more icks. When a man is afraid of spiders. I can't, I can't, I can't.

[B]

Guys are afraid of spiders.

[A]

It happened to me one time and I was like, who? I wish I could remember who it was.

[B]

No, like squealed like a little kid.

[A]

Like couldn't kill it cuz he was so scared. This is not that long ago. So now I'm like in my head like. Like, who could that have been? Because I haven't really been around guys. No, I don't think Mark was afraid of spiders.

[B]

La afraid of spiders.

[A]

Must have been afraid of spider. I was like, what? What? You're a grown man, so you have

[B]

to like get out the paper towel and do it while he's standing up on the bed.

[A]

Yeah, it must have been.

[B]

Oh my God. And I was like, like the way. Even if that was my biggest fear, I would like man up. I'M like, oh, I guess if you're hanging out with someone that you like, want to date or whatever, and you see a spider, like, I can't stand it.

[A]

Like, you jump back like, you're such a now. Oh, my God, I can't. Okay. So that happened to me and then. Okay, actually speaking of the guy who didn't want me to get on top, really bad flip flops.

[B]

I can't. I can't do it. I can't do it. And you and I grew up in flip flop culture. Like, there's a way to do flip flops. Like remember the rainbows?

[A]

Yes. I love that.

[B]

The leather one, if you're genuine. Yeah. You're a surfer, you wear them to go from the truck to down to the beach or whatever, because the beach is hot or whatever, then those get thrown in the back of your truck. Right. You're not putting on your boot cut jeans with flip flops and going to dinner. That is so creepy. Also, by the way, women, there's a reason that women get pedicures all the time. Because feet are disgusting. Right?

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

So when I see men at an an airport with open toes, that's the creepiest thing in the world. And also I think it's like, I mean, don't quote me on this. I won't even say the percentage, but a high percentage of men have athletes foot, so that's gross too. Like, just feet are gross to me on the airplane.

[A]

Open toe. I'm like, come on guys, what are we doing?

[B]

Also shorts.

[A]

I know, Aren't you cold too?

[B]

Yeah, but if you sit by someone, like their leg hairs right there, there's something about like a man's leg hair, you know, like it's a little bit creepy, but flip flop flops on a

[A]

man to do to a really nice. But like a bad flip flop. A rainbow would be more acceptable to dinner, quite honestly.

[B]

But it really goes with like a personality type. Like, rainbows were so Southern California and like all the surfers wore them. We grew up in Hawaii and there's or we went to Hawaii all the time growing up. My mom grew up there and there was this one type of flip flop that everyone wore there and it fit the vibe. Right, but like you don't go to dinner wearing a flip flop.

[A]

Like, what's the brand? I'm trying to think of like a really Hurley, like.

[B]

No, you're thinking of reefs.

[A]

Reefs.

[B]

The reef flip flops.

[A]

Like a black old reef flip flop.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I can't do that. That freaks Me out. And that's like, by the way, you guys, somebody out there might love them and their husband rocks the out of them, and that's good. We all have different opinions. I don't want to sound mean, but we all have icks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the thing is, I think ick sometimes will trigger people because you might say something, you know, or that their husband does. And, you know, if it works for you, it works for you. There's going to be things about all of us that. That bug other people.

[A]

By the way, if it was.

[B]

What's icky about you and I, let's say that

[A]

if it was my dream guy and he was perfect and he showed up in some reefs, I'd probably be like, whatever.

[B]

But you can also. I mean, this is not good advice because everyone said this since the beginning of time, but like, you can always change guys to be better, but at this point, you're like, do you want to change something? I don't want to. I don't want. If something happened with Scoot and I and I had to go change somebody. No.

[A]

Know I don't have the energy for that.

[B]

Yeah. I'm gonna sign up for exactly what's here. Show me what's. What's going on?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm tired. I'm old. I'm not rebranding you. And I'm also not gonna fix you so that you can go out and be better or like, okay. On your own. You know, that kind of stuff is weird.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Oh, that would piss me off to put in all of the words and

[A]

then just for nothing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, then my last one is grammar. And I hate to be this person, but grammar on a man is a. A big deal to me. If you don't notice the difference between there, there, and there. T H E R E T H E I R E T H E W apostrophe R E The difference in.

[B]

Yeah, of course. Who doesn't know that? Are they bilingual?

[A]

There are people. Is he bilingual? No. Real, Real American people or like, then and then?

[B]

Well, I see like, on social media comments all the time, like, there's people who are really.

[A]

You're an idiot.

[B]

But I'm saying I would probably never talk to somebody who didn't know the difference between.

[A]

That works. I have dated. Dated. I've talked to a couple guys, and when they do that, I'm like, oh, my God. I really judge the out of you. I really, really judge it. That is a big one for me.

[B]

Texting is big, though, because, like, the way they text, I think. Says a lot, you know, like, even for me, like, everything I do is in lowercase. I also do that on purpose. I turned autocorrect off on my phone because I don't mind if I have mistakes. I'd rather somebody be like.

[A]

Like, it's just kind of human.

[B]

Yeah, he's human or whatever. And it kind of goes with my personality. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I guess autocorrect could fix some people's. But if a guy was writing to you in like, mine's all lowercase. That's so gay, by the way. That's such, like a girl thing. All lowercase letter. Oh, he does. Maybe it's coming back.

[A]

I think it's like, cool.

[B]

It's like a cool thing or whatever. It's like you don't care. And that's how I always liked it.

[A]

I kind of like it.

[B]

Yeah, but if a guy was writing you in like all. Or a grown adult.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he wrote like, you. And I love an lol, but like, if a guy was like, lol, I

[A]

like, no, you can't do that. Sir, sir, you're not allowed to do that.

[B]

Are emojis cute or. No. Appropriate for a straight guy?

[A]

Like, appropriately used and definitely not right away. Like, don't ever put an emoji in your first one or two texts to me. Like, once we, like, know each other a little bit more. Like one or two here and there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, texting is. It's big. I actually don't want a guy who's a big texter. I would rather you send a voice note or pick up the phone.

[B]

I love that. Even though I don't want to do it with other people.

[A]

But I'm literally.

[B]

Scoot is the biggest phone call person in the world. He hates texting. I think it's so hot. Scoot. If someone texts him, he immediately goes outside and calls them.

[A]

Oh, my God, that's like my biggest nightmare. Then they call. I'm like, oh, my God, me too.

[B]

But you know what? For you. And I like, I don't like trying to get off the phone with somebody.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, it's like, say it really. You know, some people are like, okay, so how is everything? How's it going? And no, we don't need to do that. We're getting to the bottom of it. It's like, a lot of people like to chat.

[A]

Yeah. Not a chatter.

[B]

Oh, my God. Hearing Scoot get off the phone. Bless his heart. He could be on a four hour phone call with a stranger. He honestly could. He'll talk to a stranger for four hours on the phone.

[A]

By the way. I could gab all day with someone that I have a crush on.

[B]

You can. Which. That is so weird, by the way.

[A]

Can I just tell you, I am so ready to like someone.

[B]

Oh, that's cute.

[A]

I haven't liked it, like, to really like someone. I haven't liked anyone since Mark, like, actually liked. I liked someone. That was, like, over two years ago.

[B]

He learned a lot of tricks. Or he thinks you're crazy.

[A]

Who.

[B]

Like, if a guy that, like, has a crush on you, like, if Mr. Wright is out there, he could listen. Like, that is crazy. Or, like.

[A]

Or. No, she's.

[B]

I don't want to deal with that queer on her side.

[A]

Just let me get on top. No, I'm just kidding. No, I think the wheels are falling off. I'm sweating.

[B]

We're in a sauna. This is, like, an infrared sauna.

[A]

Can you hand me that?

[B]

No, I don't want to bend over. I have, like, asked you.

[A]

Okay, we're leaving. I literally am sweating my dickerson off. Justin, you're the best. Come back.

[B]

I love you. Do we give you enough? I love you guys.

[A]

We gave them more than enough. And, guys, heads up. I am taking the next two weeks off, and then I will be back, just so you know. I will see you then. Yeah. I call the power. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.