Let's Not Talk About The Husband

Host: Lisa Rinna & Harry Hamlin

Episode: Ask Lisa & Harry: Couples Therapy, Mad Men, Jealousy Among Friendships & More

Release Date: August 29, 2025

Overview

In this lively and intimate episode, Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin—veteran Hollywood couple and natural conversationalists—dive into questions from their listeners about marriage advice, friendship dynamics, career stories, and more. Blending playful banter with genuine life experience, the couple candidly shares what they’ve learned from therapy, how they handle jealousy among friends, the evolution of their “date nights,” and lessons from turning down big roles. The episode is peppered with their signature humor, layered reflections on long-standing relationships, and a behind-the-scenes look at their Hollywood adventures.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Being “On” for the Podcast & Marital Energy (00:22–04:10)

• Lisa calls out Harry for showing more energy on the podcast than in everyday life, surprising both herself and their kids.
  • “No one has ever seen that much energy come out of you, ever.” —Lisa (02:21)
• Harry jokes about liking this podcast persona, saying it’s his chance to channel a different side and spend focused time with Lisa.
  • “We get to spend an hour together, you know, once a week, we get to talk about stuff we normally wouldn’t talk about at home.” —Harry (02:42)
• Playful interchange about different personalities and quirks in their marriage.

2. Their Former Store “BelGray” and Business Ups & Downs (04:10–06:33)

• The couple reminisces about their boutique store, BelGray, which was hugely successful before the 2008 financial crash.
• Shared memories of rapid expansion and the store’s eventual decline:
  • “We were doing such a huge business, and then Oprah, and then we weren’t. Well, 2008 happened...” —Harry (05:19)
  • “Remember we flew over Las Vegas in the helicopter…” —Lisa (05:06)
• Challenges managing multiple stores and surviving in the volatile retail market; brief touch on running into lawsuits over unpaid rent.

3. Couples Therapy & Relationship Advice (08:13–11:55)

• Listener Question: “What are some tools you learned in therapy that helped you the most in your relationship early on?” (08:13)
• Harry’s key takeaway: Listening—always listen to your partner, a lesson their therapist June stressed.
  • “Number one thing is listen to your partner.” —Harry (08:41)
• Lisa recalls the “should” lesson: avoid language that places blame or regret.
• Emphasis on compassion, empathy, and not going to bed angry:
  • “Have some empathy for that, which can be really hard when you’re fighting or you’re mad at your partner. You get blinded.” —Lisa (10:36)
  • “Don’t go to bed angry. You have to fix it before you go to sleep. We’ve always done that.” —Lisa (10:48)
  • “You want to avoid the silent treatment at all costs.” —Harry (11:04)
• Reflection on how arguments are often about deeper issues, not surface disagreements.

4. Divorce, Empty Nesting, and Marital Transitions (11:55–16:31)

• They discuss the wave of divorces among their friend group now that kids are grown and out of the house.
• Harry observes: “This is when people look around and go, okay, so we’re still together. Why?” (12:08)
• Lisa shares stories of friends struggling with dividing property post-divorce.
• Importance of friendships that can withstand life changes, like her birthday breakfast group that’s lasted 25 years.

5. Parenting, Long-Standing Friendships & Social Circles (14:16–16:31)

• The pair reminisce about friendships formed through their daughters’ school days.
• Lisa details how her closest friends are mothers she met through preschool.
  • “We get to find out what all the kids are doing. And it’s just... it’s magical.” —Lisa (15:48)
• Harry jokes about being surrounded by girls: “Everything in my house...they’re all girls. Dogs, fish, humans. They’re all girls.” (16:21)

6. Jealousy Among Friends (19:03–23:18)

• Listener Question: “Advice on dealing with jealousy amongst friends?”
• Harry recounts how initial success after acting school, including making some money, caused friction and the end of many friendships:
  • “As soon as I got that check, man, everybody wanted to borrow money from me... All of my friendships disappeared because of that.” —Harry (20:46–20:58)
• Lisa: “You can never loan money to friends. It ruins friendships. It just does. You can’t mix it.” (20:47)
• Harry quotes Shakespeare’s Hamlet: “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” (21:27)
• Discuss the root of jealousy as a belief in “lack,” and stress there’s enough to go around for everyone:
  • “Life is not a zero sum game... there doesn’t have to be a loser for you to be a winner.” —Harry (22:29)
  • “I want my friends to be successful. There’s plenty to go around.” —Lisa (22:26)

7. Date Nights, Mad Men, and Hollywood Nostalgia (23:20–28:04)

• Listener Question: “What does a typical date night look like?”
• These days, the couple prefers cozy nights at home; in the past, date nights involved movies, martinis, cigarettes, and legendary LA spots like Dre’s.
• Both are rewatching “Mad Men,” Harry’s Emmy-nominated show, reflecting on its brilliance:
  • “That show, you’ll be able to REWATCH that show 25 years from now and it’ll be fresh.” —Harry (26:54)
  • “I just think that Matt Weiner, Matthew Weiner is a freaking genius.” —Lisa (26:35)
• Touch on staying in hotels for romantic getaways when their kids were young.

8. Turning Down Big Jobs: Regrets & Agency Drama (29:41–39:30)

• Listener Question: “Have you ever had to turn down a huge job offer, and did you regret it?”
• Harry recounts a lucrative but artistically unsatisfying miniseries he turned down—North and South—which went to Patrick Swayze and became a hit.
  • “I picked the whole thing up and I just threw it in the trash can... No way am I ever going to set foot on the set for that show.” —Harry (32:27)
• Details fallout with CAA, as the agency lost millions due to Harry rejecting a coveted “package” project.
• “That’s showbiz, kid.” —Lisa (35:24)
• Shares a quirky Hollywood story about his first marriage, officiated with minimal fanfare and Kirstie Alley as a witness.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lisa (on Harry’s Podcast Persona, 02:21):
  “No one has ever seen that much energy come out of you, ever.”
• Harry (on the challenge of listening, 08:41):
  “Number one thing is listen to your partner.”
• Lisa (on empathy during conflict, 10:36):
  “Have some empathy for that, which can be really hard when you’re fighting or you’re mad at your partner. You get blinded.”
• Harry (on jealousy, 20:46):
  “As soon as I got that check, man, everybody wanted to borrow money from me … All of my friendships disappeared because of that.”
• Lisa (on jealousy and abundance, 22:26):
  “I want my friends to be successful. There’s plenty to go around.”
• Harry (on “Mad Men,” 26:54):
  “That show, you’ll be able to REWATCH that show 25 years from now and it’ll be fresh.”
• Harry (on turning down North and South, 32:27):
  “I picked the whole thing up and I just threw it in the trash can… No way am I ever going to set foot on the set for that show.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:22–04:10 – Playful banter about podcast energy versus real life
• 04:10–06:33 – The rise and fall of BelGray
• 08:13–11:55 – Couples therapy insights & relationship communication
• 11:55–16:31 – Divorce wave among friends & maintaining long friendships
• 19:03–23:18 – Jealousy among friends and Shakespeare wisdom
• 23:20–28:04 – Date night nostalgia and “Mad Men” appreciation
• 29:41–39:30 – Turning down big roles, regrets, and agency conflicts

Tone and Language

This episode brims with the couple’s trademark blend of humor, candidness, friendly bickering, and Hollywood storytelling. Lisa’s energetic, direct style contrasts with Harry’s laid-back, reflective delivery, resulting in a playful back-and-forth that draws listeners in. Classic Rinna one-liners (“That’s showbiz, kid!”) and Harry’s old-Hollywood anecdotes provide substance and levity in equal measure.

Conclusion

For fans and newcomers alike, this episode is a quintessential taste of Lisa and Harry’s chemistry, life wisdom, and honest takes on relationships, career, and the intricacies of friendship—delivered with “humor and heart.” Theirs is a genuine dialogue that moves from Hollywood glitz to the earnest realities of keeping love and friendships alive over decades.