How The (Reality TV) Sausage Is Made

Summary

Podcast Summary: "How The (Reality TV) Sausage Is Made"

Let's Not Talk About The Husband
Host: Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin
Release Date: June 13, 2025
Episode Title: How The (Reality TV) Sausage Is Made

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1. Happy Anniversary and Reflections (00:01 - 02:57)

The episode kicks off with Lisa and Harry celebrating their 28th wedding anniversary. Harry humorously likens their enduring marriage to a "Gordian knot" (01:11), emphasizing its strength and unbreakable nature. They reminisce about their favorite getaway spot, Two Bunch Palms in Desert Hot Springs, mentioning its historical allure tied to Al Capone and the therapeutic benefits of its natural hot springs (01:33 - 02:32). Both express the revitalizing effects of their annual visits, with Lisa noting, "I swear to God, every time I come back, I feel great" (02:32).

2. The "No Problem" Conversation (02:57 - 09:00)

A significant portion of the episode delves into their disdain for the commonplace response "no problem" following a thank you. Harry expresses confusion and frustration over the phrase, questioning its appropriateness: "Wait a minute, where was the problem?" (04:21). Lisa shares her newfound irritation, revealing she now mentally "puts people in the left hand column" if they use the phrase (05:27). Together, they advocate for more traditional responses like "you're welcome" or "my pleasure," suggesting that eliminating "no problem" could foster more positive interactions: "We could change the world one podcast at a time" (08:21).

3. Anniversary and Relationship Insights (09:00 - 25:43)

Transitioning from their discussion on common phrases, Lisa and Harry reflect on their enduring relationship amidst Hollywood's often tumultuous dynamics. They contrast their stability with friends who frequently resort to "girls trips" or eventual divorces. Lisa recounts past travels to glamorous destinations like Hong Kong and Rome but expresses reluctance to engage in future "girls trips" due to challenging experiences (09:00 - 10:25).

Harry shares a personal anecdote about canceling a major trip for two and a half years to secure significant acting roles, illustrating the sacrifices they've made for their careers and family: "We would not have the two beautiful daughters that we have" (21:28 - 23:44). They discuss the importance of perseverance in the entertainment industry, emphasizing that "love is the answer" and highlighting the unique balance they've maintained between work and personal life.

4. Listener Voicemail: The Hustle (26:06 - 41:17)

Caller: Jeff
Topic: The Hustle

Jeff praises the podcast and inquires about Lisa's perspective on "the hustle," seeking insights into their strategies and techniques for maintaining a successful career.

Key Points Discussed:

• Definition of Hustle: Lisa describes herself as a "hustler" who sells herself and her talents without compromising her integrity (26:57 - 27:32). She emphasizes the necessity of personal effort in achieving success: "You have to be the one that wakes up in the morning... make it happen" (27:06).

• Evolution of Hustling: Harry explains how the dynamics in Hollywood shifted from simply making a living to the necessity of hustling due to changes in agency practices and the increasing competitiveness of the industry (29:14 - 32:08). This shift compelled them to diversify their careers to sustain their livelihoods.

• Strategic vs. Survival Hustle: While Harry initially viewed hustling as a survival mechanism in a changing industry, Lisa highlights the strategic aspect, where hustling is driven by intuition and forward momentum: "It's about manifesting what it is that you want to do" (39:48).

• Impact on Personal Growth: Both agree that hustling fosters continuous personal development and prevents complacency. They also touch upon the role of gratitude in maintaining motivation and self-esteem (37:40 - 40:46).

5. Listener Voicemail: Parenting Advice (45:22 - 64:26)

Caller: From South Africa
Topic: Parenting Through Toddler Years

The caller seeks advice on managing the turbulent toddler years, drawing parallels to Lisa and Harry's own experiences raising their daughters.

Key Points Discussed:

• Early Childhood Education: Harry shares their decision to enroll their children in progressive schools that prioritize social development over traditional academics, fostering well-rounded individuals (55:08 - 56:10).

• Handling Toddler Challenges: They recount the chaos of managing temper tantrums and the importance of consistent parenting strategies like Ferberizing, which teaches children to self-soothe and sleep independently (58:24 - 59:08).

• Adolescent Difficulties: While their daughters displayed challenging behaviors during teenage years, Lisa and Harry emphasize patience, love, and support as essential tools for navigating this phase (60:16 - 63:40).

• Personal Anecdotes: Lisa humorously shares instances of their daughter's misophonia, highlighting the unique challenges of parenting celebrities' children: "She can't stand you eating... she can't stand you talking" (61:00 - 61:40).

• General Advice: The couple underscores the universality of parenting struggles and the importance of resilience, teamwork, and creating a nurturing environment: "Love and kindness and compassion with your kids" (62:39 - 64:26).

6. Closing Remarks (64:21 - End)

As they conclude the episode, Lisa and Harry encourage listeners to engage with the podcast by leaving voicemails and following them on social media. They reiterate the value of their discussions, blending humor with heartfelt advice, and invite listeners to tune in for future episodes every Friday.

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Notable Quotes

• Harry on Marriage Knot: "It's actually kind of a Gordian knot, because I don't think we can ever untie it." (01:11)

• Lisa on "No Problem": "If you say no problem to me, I have devalued you already." (05:51)

• Harry on Hustling Necessity: "On the transaction when you handed me the coffee and I said thank you, where was the potential problem there?" (09:14)

• Lisa on Hustle Definition: "Hustle means to keep going, keep moving, keep creating, keep it up." (28:51)

• Harry on Parenting Philosophy: "Love and kindness and compassion with your kids. You don't want to be spanking them." (62:39)

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Insights and Conclusions

In this episode, Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin blend personal anecdotes with insightful discussions on relationships, career dynamics, and parenting. Their candid conversation about everyday phrases like "no problem" underscores their commitment to meaningful communication. The exploration of "the hustle" highlights the evolution of career strategies in a competitive industry, emphasizing adaptability and continuous growth. Additionally, their parenting advice offers relatable guidance for listeners navigating the challenges of raising children amidst public lives.

Overall, the episode offers a balanced mix of humor, heartfelt reflections, and practical advice, embodying the hosts' charismatic and genuine approach to shared life experiences.

Transcript

[Lisa Rinna]

The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. Hi, I'm Lisa Rinna.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I'm Harry Hamlin.

[Lisa Rinna]

And this is let's not Talk about the Husband.

[Harry Hamlin]

We've been together for over 30 years, and we've been working in this industry a lot longer.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, you know, we have some crazy stories to tell. And on this podcast, we're gonna own it, baby.

[Harry Hamlin]

Buckle up. Let's get into today's episode.

[Lisa Rinna]

Rolling.

[Harry Hamlin]

We're rolling. Hi, everybody. Hey, thanks for tuning in once again to let's not Talk about the Husband, who happens to be sitting right here.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's right.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. So here we go. I do have a couple things I wanted to get to before we started off with whatever we're gonna talk about.

[Lisa Rinna]

Right. Cause we never know.

[Harry Hamlin]

You never know. I wanted to say happy anniversary. Right.

[Lisa Rinna]

Thank you. Happy anniversary.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay. It was last week.

[Lisa Rinna]

It was so cute. On Saturday.

[Harry Hamlin]

It was on Saturday. And it's 28 years. Right?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

Since we tied the knot.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

And what a lovely knot it has been. I would say it's actually kind of a Gordian knot, because I don't think we can ever untie it. You know, Gordian knot is. Is in mythological. It's like the knot that can't be untied.

[Lisa Rinna]

Wow.

[Harry Hamlin]

And then I think in the myth, somebody does come along and untie it. It's a hero, whatever. So I just wanted, you know, we went to one of our favorite places in our marriage, in our time together. Right. Which is in desert hot springs called Two Bunch Palms. And it's been there for a long, long time. I think I've been going since, well, the early 80s.

[Lisa Rinna]

I've been going there.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Al Capone's so called hideaway is there.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's true.

[Lisa Rinna]

So it must have been started in.

[Harry Hamlin]

The 20s, 20s, 30s, whenever Al Capone was doing his business, if that's what it was. And there's even an Al Capone suite there. We've stayed in the Al Capone suite many, many, many years ago. It was decorated kind of like faux California Craftsman. Craftsman, I guess, kind of a lot of antique oak furniture and stuff like that in that room. Otherwise, the rooms are, you know, they're fine. But it's got this great hot spring. It's got this great pool that has really hot spring water that comes from the desert, natural.

[Lisa Rinna]

Like we can't figure out where it comes from.

[Harry Hamlin]

Cause it's in the. We're in the desert.

[Lisa Rinna]

Where does it come from? A natural hot underneath.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's water that keeps bubbling up from underground, and it's really hot. It's like 120 degrees when it comes out, or maybe even hotter. And, yeah, it just keeps bubbling up, keeps bubbling. But it's coming up from the desert. The desert.

[Lisa Rinna]

And I think it's healing. I swear to God, every time I come back, I feel great.

[Harry Hamlin]

I feel great, too. You know, we soak in that pool.

[Lisa Rinna]

For a long time, Float around on those little floaties.

[Harry Hamlin]

You meet people in there, other people who are there for their honeymoons or for whatever reason. So, yeah, we go usually about once a year, I guess, to tub bunch palms in desert hot springs as well. View. But I have to say that one thing that a little bit bugged me is that.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, something bugged you.

[Harry Hamlin]

All right, so this is. But this is something that's been bugging me for a long, long, long time.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, geez.

[Harry Hamlin]

And okay, so we used to have retail stores. We had stores called Belle Gray, which are the middle names of our two kids, Delilah Bell and Amelia Gray. So when we started these stores back in 2003, we thought, what a great idea. Lisa can take all of her fashion sense and all that and apply it to editing clothing outlets that we can sell them in our store. It'd be great because we hired all these people to help us, so.

[Lisa Rinna]

Help us do what?

[Harry Hamlin]

Help us sell the clothes. Oh, we hired, you know, we hired, you know, salespeople.

[Lisa Rinna]

I just couldn't follow you there for a second. I was like, who did we hire?

[Harry Hamlin]

We hired salespeople to people to work in the store. Managers. We had people working in the store. We had, you know, and usually they were female, but not always.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, we had some guys.

[Harry Hamlin]

We had some guys, but big guys. One thing that I noticed early on is that when a customer would say thank you, they would say, no problem. And I'd go, wait a minute. Thank you. And then, no problem. I go, what are they talking about? Where was the problem? Where could the problem have been that they're talking about that there's no problem? I mean, in France, I think when you say merci beaucoup, sometimes they say pas problem, which means no problem. But that's really. Doesn't really translate into English that way.

[Lisa Rinna]

In other words, you hate that.

[Harry Hamlin]

In other words, I said, you really.

[Lisa Rinna]

Dislike when people say no problem.

[Harry Hamlin]

Can't you just say you're welcome or something like that? So we actually made all of our employees. I was very strict with them. I said, what? Everybody says, thank you. Please do not say no problem.

[Lisa Rinna]

You say, you're welcome.

[Harry Hamlin]

Say you're welcome. Or anything else.

[Lisa Rinna]

Or anything else. Yeah, we have a no problem issue.

[Harry Hamlin]

Or absolutely. Or yeah, you know, whatever. But why I ask you this to the audience, why would anybody ever say no problem when you say thank you? But everybody says it, at least most young people, they say, you say, you go into a coffee shop and you get your coffee, say thank you. They say, no problem. I go, but wait a minute, where was the problem? Am I crazy?

[Lisa Rinna]

No, I don't care for it either. And I'm a little swayed because you were the first one to point it out. And so I now have my own issue with it. And so I tend to put people in the left hand column when they say no problem to me. I have a right hand column and I have, I have a left hand column and a right hand column.

[Harry Hamlin]

Is that how you split up the world? Your right hand column and left hand? So is it hierarchical also in there? So you've got a right hand column and is there a top to the column and a bottom to the column?

[Lisa Rinna]

There's all kinds of, of compartments and situations, subsets and stuff like that, and everything to the column. But what I can tell you is if you say to me, no problem, after something, you go into the left hand column.

[Harry Hamlin]

Really?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

And is the left hand column like less than the right hand column? It's less positive than the right hand column.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, and it's interestingly enough, because I'm left handed, well, I'm really ambidextrous, but I'm really fucked up. I mean, I'm, I eat with my left hand, but I cut with my right hand.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, so you are ambidextrous.

[Lisa Rinna]

I kick a ball with my right hand.

[Harry Hamlin]

You're nonpartisan, in other words.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. Okay, so don't think of it as left and right in the political sense. It's just one over here, one over here.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I'm wondering, how did that ever happen in the first place?

[Lisa Rinna]

How did there ever come back that I'm ambidextrous?

[Harry Hamlin]

No, how did they ever become left and right? And why was, why would you say one ideal is left and one ideal is right? Because those are directional. Right. But right also means right.

[Lisa Rinna]

I mean, right and left means right.

[Harry Hamlin]

Means the opposite of left, but it also means something that's correct. Right. So the people on the right, they kind of have the upper hand because not only are they called the right, but right means two things, means right, right and right, or as opposed to wrong. So left you could interpret as Wrong.

[Lisa Rinna]

Right. So again, so how does that happen? It's like, who's on third?

[Harry Hamlin]

Who is on third?

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't know, but that's what it feels like. All I know is if you say no problem to me, I have devalued you already.

[Harry Hamlin]

Really?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

So your value system is pretty good. I guess so. I mean, I just. I would rather people say you're welcome or sure or whatever, anything. But no problem. Because I go, wait a minute, where's the problem?

[Lisa Rinna]

I think now everybody's going to start watching themselves when they are out in the world and if they say no problem, they're gonna start to clock.

[Harry Hamlin]

I just bring it up because it's something that's occurred to me, but it doesn't seem to occur to anybody else.

[Lisa Rinna]

Did somebody do it this weekend? Like what did.

[Harry Hamlin]

What made you. Every time we walked in and out of the restaurant and we said thank you, they said, no problem.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, look, we gotta get rid of this no problem business. We need to just stop it now.

[Harry Hamlin]

So I'm gonna leave that up to you. You fix it.

[Lisa Rinna]

I want it to be you're welcome. Or how about just have a great day or anything? Because no problem or my pleasure.

[Harry Hamlin]

How about my pleasure?

[Lisa Rinna]

My pleasure. I love my pleasure.

[Harry Hamlin]

My pleasure is great, isn't it?

[Lisa Rinna]

I love my pleasure.

[Harry Hamlin]

And it's got the same number of syllables. No problem. No my pleasure, no problem. Okay, so how about this? Instead of no problem, from now on.

[Lisa Rinna]

You can say my pleasure. Yeah, I love it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Isn't that good?

[Lisa Rinna]

Let's change. You know, we could change the world one podcast at a time. Okay, one podcast at a time.

[Harry Hamlin]

We straightened that one out. What's next?

[Lisa Rinna]

Ok. Oh, well, I mean, that's a big one.

[Harry Hamlin]

You know, if people were begin to think about that, it could change things a little bit. I mean, it's a little negative, isn't it? When you say no problem, I mean it sort of caps off that experience with a slight twinge of negativity.

[Lisa Rinna]

Because what is problem? Problem? What is the definition of a problem?

[Harry Hamlin]

A problem is something that needs to be solved.

[Lisa Rinna]

Okay, so no problem means, oh, it's not a problem for me. No biggie. It didn't really hurt me or it didn't really do anything.

[Harry Hamlin]

It also means you're indicating that could have been a problem, that there might have been a problem. I mean, in the transaction when you handed me the coffee and I said thank you, where was the potential problem there? Because you followed up no, thank you with no problem.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's so fucking weird. It's fucking weird.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, well, anyway, I've said my piece. Happy anniversary. I still love my wife. We still like to roll around.

[Lisa Rinna]

People just think it's crazy. They're like, how do you guys still live together? I don't know. We just do.

[Harry Hamlin]

One of your friends did say. When you said we were going away for the weekend together. Oh, my God. You still like to go away with him.

[Lisa Rinna]

Those were her exact words.

[Harry Hamlin]

I've mentioned this before, but yeah, okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

Those were her exacts. Yes, we do.

[Harry Hamlin]

We still like each other's company?

[Lisa Rinna]

I still like you. You know, most of my friends, they. They started to not like their husbands for early. Like, for years before they finally got divorced. Like, they just didn't like them. And so they always. This was always strange to me. They went on girls trips all the time. Girls trips?

[Harry Hamlin]

That's right. Your girl. When they're married, friends have gone on.

[Lisa Rinna]

Always gone on girls trips.

[Harry Hamlin]

And you were invited a few times, but you always said no because you wanted to hang out with me. And then they stopped inviting you.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, yeah. I. Listen. What fucked me up was going on trips on housewives, because those are girls trips. So I never want to go on a girls trip again. Really? Never.

[Harry Hamlin]

That ruined it for the rest of your life?

[Lisa Rinna]

Maybe. I mean, come on. We went to some really great places. We went to Hong Kong, Rome, Dubai, Berlin, Aspen, Amsterdam. We went to some great places. They were fucking treacherous for me. For all of us. I mean.

[Harry Hamlin]

But those were a specific set of girls. There might be other girls you could meet in your life. You go, wow, I love those girls. They're really sweet and kind.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, yeah, and that could be fun. But, you know, I actually prefer if I don't travel with you. I would rather travel with the girls. Our girls. Or just alone.

[Harry Hamlin]

You mean Delilah and Amelia.

[Lisa Rinna]

Delilah and Amelia. Or with my gays. I prefer to travel with gays. Anywhere. I mean, really.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. Well, you're going on a trip pretty soon with. Yeah, not with me.

[Lisa Rinna]

I'm going to Dubai.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

I'm getting a fashion award.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's right. Congratulations on your fashion award. What's it called? Do you remember?

[Lisa Rinna]

It's a very fancy award.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's a very fancy award. It's a very fancy. And it's in Dubai, so it's hard to pronounce.

[Lisa Rinna]

Dubai. I forget exactly what it's called. But I will go and get a fashion award for my fashion.

[Harry Hamlin]

I'm so proud of you.

[Lisa Rinna]

Thank you.

[Harry Hamlin]

This is not the only award you've gotten for fashion. For your fashion sense. And by the way, I don't remember. Yeah, you've gotten a few. A few awards. I mean, but you get so many.

[Lisa Rinna]

How can I just give myself.

[Harry Hamlin]

How can you remember all the awards you've got?

[Lisa Rinna]

No, but I'm going with my publicist. Because you didn't really want to go.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, you know, Dubai, it's a long plane flight for a couple of hours or a couple of days. Even there, you know, you're jet lag the whole time. You know that you're there, and then you're back on a plane on the way.

[Lisa Rinna]

I need to say. I need to tell a story about Dubai.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, let's go.

[Lisa Rinna]

Okay. So you just. You just. It's so funny. So when we went to Dubai on Housewives, because now I don't like to go on girls trips because of Housewives we were with. Eileen was there on this trip. I'll never forget this. And in Dubai, I'm sure they still do it. I think on Sunday you can't have any alcohol, so they come into your hotel room and take it all out. So in your minibar they come in for. So either a day or two days. I don't remember when it was. But they get rid of your alcohol. Like, you can't have it. Can't have it. So I remember we're in the middle of filming, and Eileen somehow got a bottle of white wine into her room. Because, you know, Eileen likes a dry white wine. And so she gets a bottle of.

[Harry Hamlin]

Wine even when it's illegal.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes. She somehow. We somehow get a bottle of. She smuggled a bottle of white wine. Yeah, but they had taken the wine. Open the corkscrew. They took the corkscrew. And she was so like. She so was like, I need this wine. Like, come on, this is too much.

[Harry Hamlin]

You push it in, don't you? You push the cork in when you don't have a cork in.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, no, no, no, no. This is what she did. She didn't do that. She takes the bottle. So there was like a brick countertop, and she took the wine bottle and she went like this. She smashed it and she smashed the top off to get the wine out.

[Harry Hamlin]

Did it work?

[Lisa Rinna]

It did.

[Harry Hamlin]

And the glass didn't get into the wine.

[Lisa Rinna]

Didn't seem to.

[Harry Hamlin]

Did it go all over the room?

[Lisa Rinna]

It did. I just remember coming back, coming up into her room, and her laughing and telling me that she did it and her drinking the wine. And I believe I had a glass myself.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, well, it must be a Blue law that they have there usually. I mean, Friday is prayer day.

[Lisa Rinna]

It might have been Friday. It was probably Friday.

[Harry Hamlin]

You know, that would be my guess. But then again, I don't know. I mean, I've only visited a few muslim countries. I visited the Maldives years ago, and they took away.

[Lisa Rinna]

Is that considered a muslim country?

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, they took. Yeah, they took away our vogue magazine. They took away anything that showed any skin whatsoever. Of course, you couldn't have any alcohol on the islands in the Maldives. It was a German island that I went to called nakacho fushi. And they had alcohol on the island. Quite expensive, as I recall. But when. When we arrived at. In Mali, at the capital of the Maldives, they went through all of our bags and took anything that resembled, like, any sort of western progressive culture. Whoa. It was very strange. I don't know what they do now, but that's what they did back then, you know.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, yeah, because in Dubai, you can't buy any alcohol. Closes down, and then they take it out of your room on that. Whenever.

[Harry Hamlin]

That date, I just thought, I'm. You know, you asked if I wanted to go to Dubai, and I thought, well, you know, I could, but then it's a lot of miles. It's a lot of. You know, it's a lot.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, you're busy before and after it too. It just was a lot.

[Harry Hamlin]

I remember going years ago, I went to the. The film festival in. In. In. In south America. In. In wasn't. It wasn't some. It was Sao Paulo, I think. Yeah. And. And I flew all the way down, which was like, I don't know, 13, 14 hours. I went to the thing. It was like, for four hours. Saw a movie, got on the plane, came back in one day.

[Lisa Rinna]

In one day.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. What was that all about? I mean, I'm not gonna fly all the way to Dubai for two days.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, yeah, it's fine. So Jeffrey's coming.

[Harry Hamlin]

Jeffrey's gonna go.

[Lisa Rinna]

Jeffrey's gonna go with me. And so again, when I travel with my gays, it's really the most fun.

[Harry Hamlin]

What about me?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I like to travel with you. I said, rather than traveling with girlfriends, I rather I like to travel with you. We made that very clear.

[Harry Hamlin]

And every time we make a big trip, we plan a big trip. Either one of us or both of us gets a big job.

[Lisa Rinna]

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[Harry Hamlin]

I remember I planned a trip, big trip for us two and a half years ago to go out to the South Pacific. Oh, the whole thing, all planned. I put down a deposit, everything. We're all set to go. And a week before we're supposed to go, not only did I get one job, I got two jobs. I got the job with Jane Fonda and Eddie for Brady and Mayfair Witches, all shooting during the time we were on our trip.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's classic, though, for an actor, isn't it?

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

You're either ready to quit and you're gonna give it up, and then you get your big job. You know, you get your big series or you get a big movie. Right when you're like, that's it. I'm done. Or you make a big trip plan.

[Harry Hamlin]

I've never been one to give up on my career, but me neither.

[Lisa Rinna]

I've never said I'm giving up, but a lot of people do.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, well, that's the trick to this business is to stay in it.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's right.

[Harry Hamlin]

Because, yeah, a lot of people give up after a while, and then they end up selling real estate in the suburbs, you know, but not necessari. Do you have to do that? If you stick around, you never know what a difference a day makes.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, if you stick around, what did Nicole Kidman say? You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow.

[Harry Hamlin]

One day to the next. That is true.

[Lisa Rinna]

It changes like that. Like that.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. We do have an inordinate amount of time off in our business.

[Lisa Rinna]

We do. It's the only thing.

[Harry Hamlin]

Unless if you're a huge movie star, you're working all the time. It's seamless. And also, like for our daughter, for Amelia, it's seamless. For her right now, it is seamless. For her right now. One job and the next job and the next job, and she's booked up, booked up, booked up. I actually prefer not to be living that life. I mean, one of the reasons I chose an actor as a profession is because I knew I would have some autonomy. I'd be able to figure out my schedule one way or the other. Which is another reason why I didn't sign a huge contract with Warner Brothers in 1978. I was offered this gigantic contract from them, and I thought, wow, if I sign that contract, then they own me. I will not have the autonomy that I crave in my life. And I want to be able to be. To go where I want to go when I want to go there and not have to say what I don't want to say when I don't want to say it. And it was like, really? It was. Warner Brothers would have had their leash around my neck the whole time if I had signed that contract.

[Lisa Rinna]

And here's the thing. I would have signed that contract in two fucking seconds. I would have been like, oh, my God. That's the pinnacle, is to get a big studio to want to sign you to a contract. Because back in that time, you still could be under contract to the studio. Like, that's what you wanted back then.

[Harry Hamlin]

This was in the 70s.

[Lisa Rinna]

I mean, it wasn't the 20s or the 30s, but it was in the 70s.

[Harry Hamlin]

But it was still a big contract. It was still a multiple picture Deal with lots of options and all of that.

[Lisa Rinna]

I'd have done it in a heartbeat. I think everyone knows. I would have been like, yes, I'll do it. Of course I'll do it. And you were like, no, I don't think so.

[Harry Hamlin]

No, I didn't sign it. But I didn't sign it. But if I had signed it, I would not be sitting here with you today. We would not have the two beautiful daughters that we have.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, that's true.

[Harry Hamlin]

Who knows? More than likely, Warner Brothers would have made me into a gigantic star. I would have worked constantly for 30 years, probably become a coke addict or a heroin addict and kill myself.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, wow. That is really uplifting. No problem there. No problem. No problem. I'm just going to become a heroin addict and a coke addict, and I'm going to be dead. If I.

[Harry Hamlin]

It would have been during the 80s when they would have, you know, Warner Brothers would have put their. All their muscle behind me to make me into a big commodity for them.

[Lisa Rinna]

You would have been. I mean, you already were.

[Harry Hamlin]

I was, but they wanted to really up the ante, and. And I was.

[Lisa Rinna]

I would have done it in a second.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, I'll never forget, I was on the back cover of the Hollywood Reporter and Variety. Big ad for me for movie. Movie. My first film for Academy Award nomination won it for Best Supporting Actor. And the moment that I didn't sign the contract, when I walked in and I talked to the studio head and I said, I'm sorry, I can't do this. He said, oh, don't worry. You know, we love your work. Whether you sign a contract with us or not, we. We'd love to keep working with you. Yeah. I walked off the Warner Brothers lot that day. Not only did they remove all of the ads for me for Best Supporting Actor for that movie for that season, I didn't set foot on the Warner brothers lot for 13 years after that. So. Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

Anyway. But here we are, and I married you. We have two beautiful kids. I've still had a career, been able to do all the stuff I wanted to do. And so. Yeah, all good.

[Lisa Rinna]

All good. Yep. I'd have done it in two seconds.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's the difference.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's the difference between us. I say pretty much almost yes to everything, and you say yes more now than you used to when I first met you.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. But I still think that if I was given the same option today, I would say no. I would not want to be beholden to one entity for my career, to have to ask them for permission to go somewhere or do something or say something or do another movie or whatever. I just don't like to ask permission.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, I know you don't. I know this.

[Harry Hamlin]

So. But I will ask this. Is it time now to do some games?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. No questions. We're going to have. We're going to do some voicemail questions from people.

[Harry Hamlin]

Eve, our illustrious producer, is here and we're going to.

[Lisa Rinna]

Now we're going to put our headphones on and get some questions. Okay, so we have some voicemails. Let me know when you're ready. Okay, I'm ready.

[C]

Hey, Lisa and Harry. My name is Jeff and I just wanted to say I thoroughly enjoy. Let's not talk about the husband. My question and possible topic for one of your upcoming podcasts is all about the hustle. Lisa, you always talk about how you hustle for work and hustling over the years and would love to hear more about really, from any business person perspective, the strategy behind that, techniques that have worked have not worked and how it's benefited you in your career. So, again, thanks for the awesome podcast. We'd love to hear more about the hustle. Take care.

[Lisa Rinna]

I like that.

[Harry Hamlin]

The Hustle. Oh, boy.

[Lisa Rinna]

I like it. Well, you know, on my Instagram, you're not on social media, so you don't know, but I'm going to tell you how I have listed myself. You know, you have a little section where you can leave a bio. Of course, whatever. I just. I wrote actor slash hustler.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's it.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Really? Okay, so you're a hustler now. Hustlers can be a lot of different things.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

Right.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

A hustler, you know, can be a male hustler.

[Lisa Rinna]

Right.

[Harry Hamlin]

Can be a female hustler, hustler, you know, on the street. Hustler. But what kind of hustler would you consider yourself to be?

[Lisa Rinna]

I consider myself. I sell myself. So I am a hustler. Selling my goods. But not your body, not my. Well, yeah, I do. I mean, I sell everything. I just. I don't sell it for intercourse and sex.

[Harry Hamlin]

I've never paid you for a sex.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, but I'm a hustler in the sense that this is what I will say. Jeff, I've learned in this business that you have to be the one to do everything, really. We have people we work with, we have teams that we work with. But at the end of the day, it's up to you and I to make it happen. And I don't think that everybody Thinks about that. Like, you have to be the one that wakes up in the morning, and I call it a hustle, because the word hustle to me has a forward momentum to it, I guess. Okay, it's like, you gotta hustle. You gotta, like, move everyone. You've gotta, like, make it happen. Does that make sense?

[Harry Hamlin]

It does make sense, but. Okay, what's the opposite of hustle? If you were to hustler, what would you be? Would you be waiting for somebody to bring you some opportunity rather than creating your own opportunity?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes. Or when I get an opportunity, you don't not hustle. You don't stop hustling. You hustle. What does it mean to hustle? It means to keep going, keep moving, keep creating, keep it up.

[Harry Hamlin]

A lot of people may not be hustlers, and they might not be hustlers because they don't have to hustle. I mean, a lot of the reasons why we hustle is because we have to. I mean, listen, when I first started out as an actor, you could make your living as an actor without being a big, big movie star. You could make your living going from role to role, from job to job, and you can make a decent living that way. And then what happened when I first started out is that actors, agents, everybody involved in our business, we were all making a living. And then all of a sudden, people figured out how to make a killing in this business. The agents, particularly with CAA started. They can send my kids to school, whatever, but if I play my cards right as an agent or a movie mogul, or even a movie star, I can have a private jet, I can have the brass ring, I can make a killing, not just a living. And all of a sudden, you saw the business change, and you saw a change, really with the agency business as they began to make a killing rather than a living. And they did that by stealing clients from other agencies that already had careers going and they didn't have to work so hard, and they were able to just capitalize on work that had already been done. So as we evolved as actors from the 70s, the 80s, the 90s, and onward, it became less and less possible to make a living as just an actor. So we diversified, and I think it was really smart for us to diversify and in our diversification. And you became a hustler. You started to hustle because we had to hustle.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, we had to hustle. And I turned 40. And as an actress in Hollywood at that time, you're 40, it's pretty much up for you. It's over. Like at that point, they were not hiring women in their 40s for much. They weren't. I mean, it's changed now. Now you've got 50 year olds, 60 year olds, working like crazy. I mean, look at everybody. That's that all you know, Nicole Kidman, Demi Moore, Salma Hayek. I could go on and on. These are beautiful women in their 50s, in their 60s that are working hard.

[Harry Hamlin]

Coolidge, I mean, yeah, you got Jennifer Coolidge. You've got a ton of people who are in your age group who are working and. But that doesn't mean you're going to stop being a hustler. You're going to keep hustling because it's in your blood.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think it's in my blood. And why is it in my blood? I don't know. Because I wouldn't say either one of my parents. I would never consider either one of them a hustler. I would consider my mom resilient and my dad resilient. But I don't think they were hustlers.

[Harry Hamlin]

Because they stayed in Medford, Oregon. You left Medford, Oregon. Had you stayed in Medford, Oregon, you would not have become a hustler. But you left that comfort zone you were in where you grew up and you went into basically out of the frying pan, into the fire, into a place where you have to hustle. If you're going to make it in LA or New York or any of the big metropolitan areas in the world, you got to hustle, I mean, because there's too many people out there looking for exactly the same dollar you're looking for.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. And I had no connections. I didn't know anybody in the business. I mean, if you want to get into this acting world, you have to hustle because there's 5 million people.

[Harry Hamlin]

But there's a few ways to do.

[Lisa Rinna]

It, you know, trying to do it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Also, we've been asked before, you know, how we did it. And in my case, you know, no one in my family was involved in the arts at all. My father was a rocket scientist, a real pragmatist. My mother was an alcoholic socialite. I guess that's what they say in the, you know, Wikipedia or whatever.

[Lisa Rinna]

They say that in your Wikipedia?

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. They call my mother a socialite.

[Lisa Rinna]

A socialite. Alcoholic.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, they don't mention the alcoholic part.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's really so sad.

[Harry Hamlin]

They call her a socialite and I guess she was a socialite.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, you did grow up in Pasadena. You grew up in Pasadena. And I just found out that Mike White grew up in Pasadena.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, really?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

Did I know any Whites when I was in Pasadena? Mike White when I grew up. I'm trying to think.

[Lisa Rinna]

He's from Pasadena.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know you love Mike White.

[Lisa Rinna]

I love Mike White.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

I love the White Lotus. Anyway, Pasadena.

[Harry Hamlin]

So the way I got into the business was I said, if I'm gonna. I wanted to become an actor as soon as it became apparent to me that that was where I was gonna go after not becoming an architect. And I said, how am I gonna. If I'm gonna do this, I wanna do it. So I have a career. So I stay, you know, as an actor for the rest of my life. No flash in the pan. So I decided to go to. To training school, and I went and spent three years in acting school, you know, working seven days a week at act. I mean, it was the hardest three years of my life. But I came out with, you know, the tools in my toolkit to have a career that would last 50 years, as it has so far. So that's one way to do it. The other way to do it is to hustle. You know, I have to say, I haven't really hustled that much.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, no, but it was pretty much. Listen, you had your training, but then it was pretty much given to you. Cause you literally went in to like, read with somebody. They were reading actors.

[Harry Hamlin]

I didn't want to become a film actor. I was dead set on staying a stage actor for my entire life. And I got sucked into it. I mean, I kept saying no to anyone.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. And they just kept throwing it at you. You were given it. Like, it was just thrown at you, like, please do this big, huge movie, Harry. We want you so badly. And you would just be like, no, no, no.

[Harry Hamlin]

I didn't say no. But I was not saying no strategically. I was saying no because I really didn't want to do movies. I know I had trained as a stage actor. I got really good at being on stage and being able to use all of the chops that I had been trained with. And I thought, why would I waste it on doing film? Waste all that training on doing movies?

[Lisa Rinna]

You have not had to hustle until later on. You've had to hustle, but you did not has to have to hustle in your early career at all.

[Harry Hamlin]

No, I did. It was. It was. It was very. It came very easy for me until I did the gay movie. After I. After I did Making Love, where I played the gay guy, gay writer, it became. I had to hustle after that, because it was. I was on a very smooth glide path toward movie starting stardom on my own terms. And then did that movie and it changed everything. Yep.

[Lisa Rinna]

Do you like better not hustling or hustling?

[Harry Hamlin]

I prefer to hustle, actually.

[Lisa Rinna]

Now that I.

[Harry Hamlin]

Now that I've hustled, I like the hustle. The hustle keeps you busy, keeps you engaged, keeps you on fire. You know, you know, you don't know. You don't lose any traction when you're hustling.

[Lisa Rinna]

I agree. And you can hustle in any area of your life. It does. You don't have to be an actor. You can hustle. You can hustle if you're a stay at home mom, you can hustle by just following your curiosity and going after things that you wanna do. I think the hustle gives you the momentum so that you don't get complacent.

[Harry Hamlin]

Very true. And there is another. We're answering Jeff's question now. So there's another way to look at hustle, and that is hustle cannot, doesn't have to be drudgery, it doesn't have to be like horrible. Because there's another way to look at the whole megillah. Right. If we have faith, if we trust that the universe is out there, is a good place, not a dangerous place. If we go with that flow, if we find our flow, then opportunities will abound. I mean, you can walk out and walk down the street and all of a sudden you can meet somebody and it could be someone who changes your life. If you're just paying attention, if you're just recognizing the coincidences that, that fall in front of us on a daily basis. It's amazing how that hustle reveals itself to us if we're just open to it.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes. And the hustle doesn't mean you have to work your ass off. It's not necessarily hand in hand. Though I do believe that working hard gives you a sense of pride, of course, and sense of self and. Cause we talk about bread of shame when I was in Kabbalah, studying Kabbalah for years.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, let's talk about what bread of shame is.

[Lisa Rinna]

Let's talk about that.

[Harry Hamlin]

Because I think it's sort of like the imposter syndrome. The sense that you didn't earn what you have gives you a sense of shame. And that is called. And I don't know if we're getting this exactly right, but that's the way I think of it. Bread of shame is that moment in your life when you have Achieved something, but you didn't really deserve it, or.

[Lisa Rinna]

You don't feel that you deserve it.

[Harry Hamlin]

You don't think you deserved it.

[Lisa Rinna]

And so I think that when you hustle and when you work hard to do something, you feel you deserve it and feel better about it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Exactly. It gives you self esteem. And that's part of the hustle is also reinventing your sense of self esteem over and over and over again. But it's not a strategic thing because Jeff said, what was your strategy in that? And it's really not strategic. It's more survival than anything else. Am I wrong?

[Lisa Rinna]

I think you are a little bit wrong. I do think there are times when it is strategic. I don't know if it is subconsciously strategic or consciously strategic. I tend to move in a subconsciously strategic way.

[Harry Hamlin]

So how can you access. How do you even know you're doing that if it's subconscious?

[Lisa Rinna]

That's a good question.

[Harry Hamlin]

Just curious.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's a darn good question, Harry.

[Harry Hamlin]

Is it intuition?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes. Yes. I was gonna say it doesn't come from my head. It comes from my gut.

[Harry Hamlin]

So you're talking about an intuitive hustle. Yeah. Okay. And I get that. I mean, intuition is a huge part of being alive. And if we can harness our intuition and learn how to hear it, understand it, and pay homage to our intuition, I think it's a really. That gets us way ahead of the game. If it's a game.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's so interesting. I was talking to Amelia this morning about a job that had just come to her that. That was very exciting to her. She said, oh, I really like the idea of doing this because it's really creative and it's something that is exciting me. It's something that I want to create and be a part of. And I thought that is. That's about hustling. That is about putting out into the universe what. Okay, so she's already one of the top models. Right. But it's not just about that. It's like attracting the right kind of job that you feel really good about creating in kind of a vision that you had.

[Harry Hamlin]

Right. Well, she's inspired by this job.

[Lisa Rinna]

Exactly.

[Harry Hamlin]

She sees. So a lot of times, jobs are not that inspiring.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's right. So I think hustle is also about. It's taken me a little while to get to this. It's about manifesting what it is that you want to do. It's not just a. It's specific. It's. Your hustle needs to be specific.

[Harry Hamlin]

I get it.

[Lisa Rinna]

There's not it doesn't always have to be specific, but when you are specific in your hustle, it happens fast.

[Harry Hamlin]

So it's really about manifesting, too. So. And let's talk about that, because, you know, Emelia is, you know, one of the greatest manifesters of all time.

[Lisa Rinna]

She really is.

[Harry Hamlin]

And she set out to become a top model. She figured out how to do it. She. And she dedicated herself to manifesting it, and she did.

[Lisa Rinna]

And she works really hard at it. She works hard and she hustles at it. She's a hustler. And I said to her today, I said, well, you learn from the best. I may say so for myself.

[Harry Hamlin]

But along with the hustle and along with all of that comes gratitude, too.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's very true.

[Harry Hamlin]

I think that when I look at Amelia and I look at what she's accomplished, and every time I speak to her, she says how grateful she is for the opportunities that she's had and for meeting the people that she's met and how she just really is. Is grateful.

[Lisa Rinna]

She is grateful.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

I think it's a huge part of it as well. So did we answer your question?

[Lisa Rinna]

I think we did. I. We. We could become therapists. I don't know. We are like. We are like, in a place where I'm like sitting here thinking. Also, you have very good radio voice. When we have these things on, I'm like, God, you have a very good radio voice.

[Harry Hamlin]

I like to stay close to the thing.

[Lisa Rinna]

Very good radio voice. I think we're like, the therapist should be very worried that we are. We are dishing out some pearls of wisdom that, I mean, watch it out.

[Harry Hamlin]

So, Eve, what's next?

[Lisa Rinna]

Okay, joking. You know what I'm saying? All right, we got another one for you guys coming right up. Hey, everyone, let's take a moment to appreciate our liver. A true champion when it comes to cleansing toxins and supporting our overall health. You know those times when a little indulgence in food and drinks leaves you feeling not so great? Your liver's working overtime to help you bounce back. That's where one MD Nutrition's Liver MD comes in. This is an award winning formula developed by a GI doctor featuring patented, clinically studied forms of milk thistle and vitamin E to support your liver with top notch ingredients. Imagine feeling refreshed and ready to face the day, knowing your body is getting the care it needs. It's not just about detoxifying liver. MD helps maintain your overall well being even when life throws you those delicious temptations. Picture a life with more energy and less daily fatigue. And get this, 90% of users rate Liver MD better than any competitor. And get this 80% of LiverMD users saw significant improvements in their liver test results plus better energy, mental clarity and less bloating. Want to give your liver some love? Head over to OneMD.org and use code husband for a 15% discount on your first order. Start transforming your liver health today with LiverMD. Better energy, mental clarity and digestion await you. Backed by an ironclad 90 day money back guarantee, this show is sponsored by Liquid Ivy. All right, it's peak hydration season and Liquid Ivy is the perfect companion for your hottest summer plans. They've just launched an exhilarating new flavor, Arctic Raspberry Plus. Liquid IV has sugar free solutions powered by LIV Hydro Science for Smart Hydration. What I love about Liquid IV is I feel like it really boosts my hydration during the summer and I'm always lacking in getting enough hydration. So any little boost I can get and it's so easy, you just put it in your water. I take these packets with me everywhere. So easy. I keep them in my purse so I get a water, put it in while I'm traveling, going out at night after a fun night out with my girlfriends. Whatever it is, I just keep them in my purse. And I love the raspberry. I think it's super important to stay hydrated. If you're not hydrated, I think you'll remember feeling like you have a headache, you're lethargic. I always feel like I'm dragging, so I always know that that's when I need extra hydration. So that's what's so great about Liquid iv because you just always have it with you. I always have it with me and I just add it to my water. Easy, easy breezy. Just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone no matter what your summer brings. Tear, pour, live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and get 20% off your first order with code RINNA at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with Code RINNA at Liquid IV.com hi, I'm.

[D]

Caroline Stanbury, star of the Real Housewives of Dubai. Entrepreneur, wife and mother of three, once divorced and now remarried to a much younger man. Uncut and Uncensored with Caroline Stanbury follows me as I live my life unapologetically and shows you that there is life after 40. I discuss everything from relationships, health, wellness, business, parenting, friendships. I'm here to let you know that not only Is there a life that after divorce but you have the power to make it your best one yet. Just like I did. Listen to all new episodes every Wednesday, anywhere you get your podcasts.

[E]

Hi Lisa and Harry. Sending in a recording from all the way from South Africa. Oh, just curious to understand, you know, when it comes to shooting a reality show. I guess this question is more for Lisa. What goes into the behind the scenes of it all? So setting up for a scene, the scheduling, signing on for a new season, you know, your confessionals, what is the behind the scenes processes for that beginning to end creation of a season? Are your schedule set in advance? How does it work before scene starts, after scene starts, Getting your marks put on all of those really intricate details that go into the the creation of a season. So personally I'm just curious in understanding how that works. Keep doing what you're doing. Your podcast is great. Thanks.

[Lisa Rinna]

I love that South African accent, don't you? I just love it.

[Harry Hamlin]

But I'm going to let you handle.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, but you know too majority of this.

[Harry Hamlin]

But what, what he's asking, the question he's asking is really, you know, how does one produce a reality show of the quality, caliber and size of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in that franchise? I mean that's a big question. I mean this is a question that could take a long time to answer because he really wants to know from.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, it's really interesting how it's done.

[Harry Hamlin]

But why don't you take it away? Because you've done a lot more than I have.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I can answer it pretty easily. It. There's a lot of people behind the scenes, a lot of people that make a show like that work. It looks very effortless. You see us, you know, say at a lunch scene, in a lunch scene, it's set up before everybody gets an email saying that it's coming up on Saturday, maybe in two weeks. Maybe you get it two weeks ahead of time. You know that you're going to someone's house, you're going to show up at this time, they send cars for you. So you get driven there because they don't want you to drink and drive. That's something that people might not know.

[Harry Hamlin]

So these are the logistics of it. But they don't tell you what to do.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, he wants to know the logistics which are interesting. He wants to know like what happens. You get a mic put on you. Yes, there are cameras. There's usually three cameras around you. It's usually set up around it. An event or a lunch or A party or, you know, there's a lot of pre planning that goes on. There's a lot of producers, there's a lot of people involved.

[Harry Hamlin]

They don't always know what's going to happen because every once in a while.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's right.

[Harry Hamlin]

You know, something happens and somebody runs off in a huff and they've got to run after them. They've got to follow them and make sure they get the camera in their face before they run or get into a car and drive away or whatever.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's right. That's the beauty of it, I think. You know, they are set up and then it goes out the window because you bring us in, the performers or women, whoever, whatever you want to call us. You put us in this situation, you let us go, and then you have to follow it. And it can go on for hours at a time. There's no. Like, you're going to start at 8, and then you're going to be done by 11. So you never really know when it's gonna end. And that's what's different about doing an acting job. Because when I first did Housewives, I was ready for someone to say, you know, five, four, three, two, you know, action, action, and then cut. And they don't do that. They just film. And so actors coming on the show and everyone that's been an actor that's come on, we wait for somebody to tell us when the camera's rolling. And so that you have to get used to that. But other than that, you know, it's a job, and it's set up like a professional job. But then you bring your own reality and life to it.

[Harry Hamlin]

The unknown is the human element, okay? So that you can set it up. You can say, these people are going to be sitting at this table at this time, they're going to be serving this food, but who knows what's going to happen?

[Lisa Rinna]

That's right. And that's the beauty of it, though. That's what I loved about it. I love the fact that it was like a play and fresh every day. That is what I did love about it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Without rehearsal, by the way, no rehearsal.

[Lisa Rinna]

For this rehearsal, you just show up and it's different every time. And so there's no monotony. You're not bored. You're not sitting in a trailer learning your lines. You're not waiting. There's not a lot of waiting, which is great. I mean, sometimes there's an element of surprise that goes on in reality. There'll be times when they stagger and Everybody entering a place. So say we're all going to a party, and they stagger it. Who's arriving when they decide, like, we want this person here first? So there's planning and that kind of stuff. And so there was waiting in the car a lot of times. And then they come out to your car, they mic you in your car, and, you know, they have to put a mic on your back and they.

[Harry Hamlin]

And then they kind of wait for something to happen.

[Lisa Rinna]

Right.

[Harry Hamlin]

I mean, and here's the interesting thing about these franchises is the amount of film that is actually run through those cameras relative to the amount that shows up on the TV screen.

[Lisa Rinna]

You guys have no idea.

[Harry Hamlin]

No. I mean, the editors, they go through hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of footage to find 42 minutes of film.

[Lisa Rinna]

I feel so sorry for those editors. They literally would have somebody in a back room. So let's say we're filming at someone's house. They would take a little back room and set up a monitor. And then there's somebody there that is literally writing down everything everyone is saying in a scene so that they can.

[Harry Hamlin]

Go back and try to stitch together, make a story out of it so.

[Lisa Rinna]

They can figure out, like, what to use and where to go and keep track of. They'll film for three or four hours. They're gonna use four minutes of that.

[Harry Hamlin]

And of that four minutes they might have. Start the day thinking that, oh, this storyline is going to go. It's going to be about Lisa going to the bank, and it's going to be about her then finding out that she doesn't have enough money or whatever the story might be. And then it changes completely in the course of the day. And they've got an entirely different story that they end up telling by the end of the day. So there's no way to calculate in advance what's going to happen with the season. It just goes wherever it's gonna go.

[Lisa Rinna]

It starts when you first start. So we film for about four months, starts in the very beginning. You have no idea what's gonna happen. You just get an email that says you're gonna go to so and so's house on Saturday at 5. Okay? That's how it begins. Nobody has any idea. I mean, the producers come to your house right before you start filming, and they sit down with you at the beginning of the season to ask you where you are in your life, what's going on, what's going on with your kids, what's going on with your work, whatever. That's all the Information that they have.

[Harry Hamlin]

Are they trying to find a story then? They're looking for some kind of storyline. They're looking for anything they can hang their hat on. Right?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, they're looking for what's going on in your life, because that's what's gonna become a story. You know, that's your storyline, basically.

[Harry Hamlin]

So the last season has been mainly divorces, Right, and stuff like that.

[Lisa Rinna]

Exactly. But that's like, what happens. So they go to your house, they find out what's going on, and then you start filming, and then it just materializes into where it goes. Like, it goes wherever it's going to go on its own.

[Harry Hamlin]

So in answering this question, if we fully really answered the question, we would be giving you a total outline about how to make a reality show like the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which we don't have time to do today.

[Lisa Rinna]

But we gave him a lot.

[Harry Hamlin]

Maybe that's enough.

[Lisa Rinna]

I gave you a lot. I gave him a lot. So there you go.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[F]

Harry, Lisa, I love you guys. My son wants to tell you something. Go ahead and say what you wanted. Whoa, you don't want to say it now?

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't know what he said.

[F]

Oh, you can say you're iconic.

[Lisa Rinna]

Iconic.

[F]

Yeah, you're iconic. So my question for you guys, I know your girls are growing now, and they just seem to be these just well rounded, you know, beautiful, successful girls. And I think you guys should be proud of yourselves and what you did as parents. My boys are close in age, almost like your girls. They're four and two, but almost three. So my question is, what's your advice on the young child, like, toddlery years? Like, how did you guys get through it as parents, as partners?

[Lisa Rinna]

How did you do it?

[F]

We love you guys, and thanks for starting this new podcast. We can't wait to hear all the stories and just all the wonderful things that I know you guys will bring to the show.

[Harry Hamlin]

I think we can take these off now.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, all right. Oh, gosh. Look at you.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. Aren't you glad that I said no headphones for this freaking podcast?

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, that's a. That's a very. Thank you for asking that question about, you know, young kids, toddlers, and all of that. You know, our kids are now 23 and 26, so we've been down that road. But I would say that she said.

[Lisa Rinna]

How did you get through it?

[Harry Hamlin]

You know, you get through it however.

[Lisa Rinna]

You can you get through it.

[Harry Hamlin]

We did have some help.

[Lisa Rinna]

We had great help. And. And it takes a Village.

[Harry Hamlin]

It does kind of take a village to do that. But we also. And I think we've discussed this before, but we'll discuss it again. We put them into really interesting progressive schools.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, we haven't talked about this.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay. So then when. When the kids were like 16 months old, 18, I think it was, we discovered this. When they were about 16 months old, we discovered a nursery school, like a preschool, a preschool called the Maggie Hayes School. And Maggie Hayes was a woman at that time, in her 70s, maybe even 80s, I think. 80s. And she had this little nursery school in the Valley. And it was very progressive. In other words, progressive in that she would actually have students who were like 18 months old.

[Lisa Rinna]

We started at 18 months, barely walking.

[Harry Hamlin]

And yet they would get together and they would learn how to socialize and spend two hours a day.

[Lisa Rinna]

I'd say, well, we would go with them. It was twice a week.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I'd go stay with them.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

And then. And then it would progress. And then the following year, it'd be more hours during the day, and then it would be five days. Ended up being five days a week, every day.

[Lisa Rinna]

And it was until they went to.

[Harry Hamlin]

Until they went to elementary school, until.

[Lisa Rinna]

They went to kindergarten.

[Harry Hamlin]

Kindergarten, yeah. Right. And then we took them to another progressive school for kindergarten. And I came from a totally academic background. I went to, you know, very strict private boys schools growing up. And then I went to boarding school, private boys boarding school, where I had to wear a coat and tie every day and a suit on Sundays. And then I went to. Right out of that into Berkeley, which was crazy because Berkeley was very, very. They were all hippies in 1970. It's a whole different thing from where I was in boarding school. But we decided to go an entirely different 180 degrees with our kids. And we put them into schools that were not academically oriented, but more socially oriented and more about training them how to be human beings rather than training them how to be mathematicians or English scholars. And they ended up knowing math, they ended up knowing how to speak. They ended up knowing grammar, sort of. They know enough.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, they know enough. I'm joking. But the math is definitely real.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Not a lot of math.

[Harry Hamlin]

Not a lot of math.

[Lisa Rinna]

But then again, more than I had. I mean, I went to public school. That was it. You had one school to go to. That's what you went to.

[Harry Hamlin]

But let's talk about math for a second, because when I was growing up, you had to know long division, you had to know multiplication tables, you had to know how to add, you don't.

[Lisa Rinna]

Need to know any of that shit anymore.

[Harry Hamlin]

You know, you have it right here. You just ask Siri how to divide 455 billion by 325,421 and she'll tell you in one second what the answer to that is. So, yeah, math, you know, in at least old school math. I don't know why anybody would spend the time learning it today, but I don't know. Maybe. But anyway, so going back to your question, it's a kind of a little bit of a minefield kids at that age. I mean, how about when we'd go to take Delilah to the market and she'd go down on the floor and have a temper tantrum going like that, which I guess all kids do. How did we deal with that?

[Lisa Rinna]

How about when she would you try to put her in her car seat and she would do that stiff back thing and she would be screaming and couldn't get her in her car seat. I mean, I, I mean anybody who gets through toddlers and teenagers. You're a saint.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. There's a reason why they call it the terrible twos. I'll never forget that both of our kids, when they were at the end of their two years.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh my God, I. I mean the fact that I'm still alive I think is miraculous.

[Harry Hamlin]

Every mother goes through this.

[Lisa Rinna]

I know.

[Harry Hamlin]

Every mother and father goes through the toddler years.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's unbelievable.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I don't know how you do it. I don't know how we did it.

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't either. You just do it. I mean, I wish there was like an answer of, oh, you just do this, this and this.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, we did ferberize.

[Lisa Rinna]

Okay, we talked about that. That's infancy though.

[Harry Hamlin]

But that gets them to their toddler. In other words, if you don't ferberize, which means allow getting. Making the kids understand that it's okay to sleep by themselves. Right.

[Lisa Rinna]

And how to self, self soothe.

[Harry Hamlin]

Self soothe themselves so they can go to sleep alone without having to have you in the same bed or whatever. That was very tough to do. However, I think having them ferberized was good. Was really a great.

[Lisa Rinna]

I agree.

[Harry Hamlin]

Leverage. Going into toddler dumb or hood with toddler dumb toddler times, whatever. So yeah, they went into their toddler years already pretty independent, you know, in terms of sleeping.

[Lisa Rinna]

Right. And whatever that. Who knows? Like, I don't know how we got through it. You just do. You just get through it. And then I'll never forget Dr. Peter was our pediatrician. So Great. And he said to me, when I think Amelia was 3, he said, that's exactly how she's gonna be at 13. So when you're in the terrible twos or threes. Ours were more terrible threes. That's what you're gonna get as a teenager. And that is true.

[Harry Hamlin]

Was she bad at 13? I forget. Thankfully, I put that all behind me. So were the kids, like, terrors at 13? I forget.

[Lisa Rinna]

You forget?

[Harry Hamlin]

I do.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, well, I don't. Those girls were monsters. They were monsters.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

Girls, of course.

[Harry Hamlin]

So sorry. Amelia.

[Lisa Rinna]

As was I. I was a monster. They were monsters as teenagers. Of course. They are. All are. I was.

[Harry Hamlin]

I just. I think of them, I as sweet, lovely, kind, loving girls.

[Lisa Rinna]

Listen, we have had moments just like everyone else. Everyone has had these moments with their family, moments with toddlers, moments with teenagers, and somehow you survive it.

[Harry Hamlin]

You make it through. How about Amelia had Mesophonia as a toddler and still has it to this day.

[Lisa Rinna]

Not as. As. Yeah, tell them What?

[Harry Hamlin]

Mesophonia, Isophonia. I'm not sure I know how to describe it, but Mesophonia, Amelia, there are certain things, sounds, that if she hears them, they drive her insane.

[Lisa Rinna]

And one of them, she can hear.

[Harry Hamlin]

These sounds from a mile away from her room upstairs. She can be in her room upstairs with the door closed, and Lisa can be eating a potato chip in the kitchen, and all of a sudden, we'll hear screaming. Because she'll hear Lisa eating a potato chip in five rooms away and go, oh, my God, I can't take it. I'm going to kill myself. I can't hear that noise of the potato chip. So she can't stand you eating. She can't.

[Lisa Rinna]

There was a whole few years where I could not eat in the same room as her.

[Harry Hamlin]

And to this day, if you're eating at the table with her, we're at a restaurant with her, and you pick up a French fry, she'll look the other way. She'll look at me and she'll look.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, she'll give me a dirty look. She'll be like. And I'll be like. Or if I open my mouth too much while I'm eating, or if I talk, I forget. And then she'll come home and she'll look at me like, excuse me. She's very well behaved, though. Like, if we're in Paris or somewhere traveling and we go and we're eating out, she doesn't seem to do it in public, but she does do it at home.

[Harry Hamlin]

So it's Mesophonia, it's called. So, oh, my God.

[Lisa Rinna]

How did we get on that?

[Harry Hamlin]

Delilah didn't have. Well, she first displayed her mesophonism when she was a toddler, when she was like two or three. But she would go crazy then.

[Lisa Rinna]

I mean, she would be consoling her.

[Harry Hamlin]

If she heard Lisa eating something, she would just flip out, you know?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, that's a whole nother story. But anyway, we survived it.

[Harry Hamlin]

We survived it.

[Lisa Rinna]

And you'll survive it. And you look back on it and you go, as you just did. I don't even remember those teenage years.

[Harry Hamlin]

You know, love is the answer. It's always the answer. Love and kindness and compassion with your kids. You don't want to be spanking them. Come on.

[Lisa Rinna]

No. You got to be nice to them.

[Harry Hamlin]

Anyway. Did we answer your question?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, I think so. I mean, we are not experts, but we did raise two well adjusted girls who grew up in Hollywood.

[Harry Hamlin]

So far they.

[Lisa Rinna]

So far so good.

[Harry Hamlin]

They grew up with paparazzi around and with us working everything and all this baggage that goes along with being, quote, unquote, celebrities in Hollywood. And they are the nicest, sweetest, most lovely human beings.

[Lisa Rinna]

You know, my favorite thing is. And I'm just gonna. I'm gonna say it because it's my favorite thing. And I toot our own horn for a second. Whenever I go out to the doctors, like I go to Dr. Sugarman or go to anybody that, you know, sees a lot of kids and has seen a lot of kids in this town grow up, he always says to me, you have the nicest girls. I don't know what you and Harry did, but they are my favorite. And they're so kind. And that's my favorite thing to hear. That's when I go, okay, we did something right.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, we don't just hear it from the doctors. We hear from everybody. Anybody they interact with. We do hear that. And it is very gratifying to know that your kids are out there in the world putting their best foot forward.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, they know I would absolutely kill them if I heard someone. If someone came up to me. No, but if someone came up to me and said, okay, you know what? So and so was so snotty or this or that. Like, I have put the fear of God into them, though, that they need to be professional and nice.

[Harry Hamlin]

You don't want to hear, you know, somebody come up to you and say, you know, your kids are monsters. You don't want to hear that.

[Lisa Rinna]

Anyway, have we answered your question? We survived it. And so will you. We survived it. And you will also survive it.

[Harry Hamlin]

You will survive it. Your kids will grow up. And hopefully they'll be great, great, great humans.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think they will. Because she sounded like a great human herself.

[Harry Hamlin]

And if you're asking that question now, you're well on your way. That's right, you guys, if you want to, you can call in a voicemail to whatever number is available. How do you do that?

[Lisa Rinna]

The link is in the show notes. Oh, the link is in the show notes. So if you want to leave us a voicemail, and by the way, we're getting so good at this, we could help you with your problems.

[Harry Hamlin]

Anyway, thank you very much for tuning in once again to let's not Talk about the Husband.

[Lisa Rinna]

Thanks for listening to our show. You can catch new episodes every Friday.

[Harry Hamlin]

And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss anything.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, and if you liked what you.

[Harry Hamlin]

Heard, consider leaving us a rating or review. And make sure to tell all your friends, too. I mean, like, everyone you know and their mother.

[Lisa Rinna]

If you have a question for us or you need advice, God help you. Leave a voicemail using the link in our show notes. We might just answer your question in a future episode. Now you can find us on social media. Lisarina on Instagram. Instagram. And then I'm LisaRinaOfficial on TikTok.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I'm Harry Rhamlin on Instagram.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's right.

[Harry Hamlin]

So see you next week.

[Lisa Rinna]

Until then, let's not talk about the husband. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.