My Partner Moved Out Without a Word… Now What?

Summary

Episode Summary: "My Partner Moved Out Without a Word… Now What?"

Podcast: Let's Not Talk About The Husband
Hosts: Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin
Episode Title: My Partner Moved Out Without a Word… Now What?
Release Date: June 20, 2025

In this compelling episode of Let's Not Talk About The Husband, iconic Hollywood couple Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin delve into a range of listener-submitted questions, offering candid, humorous, and heartfelt insights drawn from their extensive personal and professional experiences. The episode, titled "My Partner Moved Out Without a Word… Now What?", addresses relationship challenges, political differences, financial management, building confidence, and more, providing listeners with relatable advice and lively discussions.

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1. Navigating Politics in Relationships

Timestamp: [04:26 - 07:20]

Lisa and Harry tackle the increasingly common issue of differing political views within romantic relationships. They acknowledge the heightened polarization in today's political climate, emphasizing the difficulty couples face when significant others are on opposite sides of the political spectrum.

Notable Quotes:

• Harry Hamlin (05:08): “I do not want to have to think about the fucking President."
• Harry Hamlin (07:18): “There is no such thing [as alternative facts].”

Key Points:

• The couple discusses the strain that political disagreements can place on relationships, noting that extreme polarization can lead to viewing the other party as enemies or traitors.
• They advocate for minimizing political discussions to preserve harmony, suggesting that couples focus on mutual interests and shared life goals instead.
• Harry defines "woke" as empathy, highlighting the importance of understanding and compassion in bridging political divides.

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2. Introducing Politics in Early Dating

Timestamp: [07:24 - 10:52]

The hosts explore the appropriate timing for discussing political beliefs when dating, emphasizing the necessity of understanding a partner's political stance early on to prevent future conflicts.

Notable Quotes:

• Harry Hamlin (08:17): “People are so angry now about what's going on in politics... You better find out before that first kiss."
• Harry Hamlin (09:24): “...anybody who has empathy, empathetic is woke."

Key Points:

• Lisa and Harry stress the importance of early conversations about political affiliations to ensure compatibility and reduce potential friction.
• They acknowledge that political parties have become more antagonistic, making it crucial for individuals to be upfront about their beliefs.
• The discussion underscores the importance of empathy and compassion as foundational traits that transcend political differences.

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3. Dealing with an Unexpected Partner Departure

Timestamp: [12:00 - 15:38]

Responding to a listener whose partner moved out abruptly without explanation, Lisa and Harry offer their perspectives on handling such a distressing situation.

Notable Quotes:

• Lisa Rinna (12:10): “Good fucking riddance.”
• Harry Hamlin (15:22): “Detectivism. I like the word.”

Key Points:

• Lisa empathizes with the listener, relating it to personal experiences of sudden departures and emphasizing the emotional trauma involved.
• Harry suggests taking a proactive approach by gathering information and piecing together what might have led to the sudden move, encouraging the listener to investigate and understand the underlying reasons.
• Both hosts acknowledge the difficulty of moving on but offer practical advice on seeking closure and understanding.

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4. Managing Finances in a Relationship

Timestamp: [18:52 - 24:05]

The couple discusses effective strategies for dividing and managing money within a relationship, highlighting their own approach to financial organization.

Notable Quotes:

• Lisa Rinna (19:06): “We have our own pushki accounts.”
• Harry Hamlin (22:59): “If you can keep it positive... money can have such a negative connotation to it.”

Key Points:

• Lisa and Harry explain their method of maintaining joint accounts for shared expenses while also having personal “pushki” accounts for individual spending and fun.
• They emphasize the importance of keeping financial matters positive and stress that money should flow in a way that supports both partners' personal and shared goals.
• The discussion touches on the impact of economic changes, such as inflation and taxes, on relationship finances and the need for adaptable financial strategies.

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5. Building and Maintaining Confidence

Timestamp: [24:06 - 30:12]

When asked about building confidence, Lisa and Harry share their personal techniques for becoming the most confident person in any room.

Notable Quotes:

• Harry Hamlin (24:44): “If you put your attention on other people, that's instantaneous confidence.”
• Lisa Rinna (25:42): “Volunteer somewhere, you do something to get your attention off yourself.”

Key Points:

• Harry advocates for shifting focus away from oneself to others, suggesting that active listening and genuine interest in others foster confidence.
• Lisa adds that engaging in activities that divert attention from personal insecurities, such as volunteering, can enhance self-assurance.
• The hosts highlight the importance of curiosity and positive interactions, encouraging listeners to compliment others authentically and stay present in social situations.

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6. Adjusting to an Empty Nest

Timestamp: [30:14 - 32:35]

Addressing the feelings of loss parents may experience when their children move out, Lisa and Harry offer suggestions to adapt to the newfound empty nest.

Notable Quotes:

• Lisa Rinna (30:24): “Well, they could get a puppy.”
• Harry Hamlin (31:22): “I would say get a puppy, but also... keep yourself busy.”

Key Points:

• The hosts recommend adopting a pet as a way to fill the void left by departing children, emphasizing the companionship and routine pets provide.
• They also suggest pursuing new hobbies, maintaining social connections, and staying engaged with family members to prevent feelings of loneliness.
• Lisa shares her personal experience with delays in finding new hobbies, illustrating the challenges of transitioning to an empty home.

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7. Handling a Controlling Mother

Timestamp: [37:17 - 41:56]

Responding to a listener struggling with a controlling and critical mother, Lisa and Harry provide heartfelt advice rooted in their own experiences.

Notable Quotes:

• Harry Hamlin (38:19): “I’m afraid, I found this little bowl... my mother and my brother says...”
• Lisa Rinna (41:35): “If you're angry and you want to attack somebody, you have to find a way to get vulnerable.”

Key Points:

• Harry shares a personal childhood story highlighting the long-term impact of dishonesty and strained relationships with his mother.
• Both hosts stress the importance of expressing feelings honestly and vulnerably, encouraging the listener to communicate their emotions openly with their mother.
• Lisa emphasizes that acknowledging and voicing one's feelings can lead to improved relationships and personal well-being.

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8. Casting a Movie About Their Lives

Timestamp: [42:02 - 45:28]

In a lighthearted segment, Lisa and Harry engage in a playful discussion about casting actors to portray each other in a hypothetical biographical movie.

Notable Quotes:

• Harry Hamlin (42:30): “I think George Clooney could play you quite well.”
• Lisa Rinna (43:34): “Meryl Streep is gonna play me.”

Key Points:

• The hosts entertain the idea of casting celebrities like Meryl Streep and George Clooney to represent themselves, highlighting the humorous and imaginative aspects of the discussion.
• They acknowledge the challenges of finding actors who can embody the multifaceted personalities and experiences they share.
• This segment showcases their chemistry and camaraderie, providing listeners with a glimpse into their playful side.

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9. Effective and Classy Clap Backs

Timestamp: [45:38 - 50:31]

Lisa and Harry explore the concept of "clap backs" — witty or sharp responses to criticism — discussing how to implement them gracefully without escalating conflicts.

Notable Quotes:

• Harry Hamlin (45:40): “I let it slide off my back like water off a duck's back.”
• Lisa Rinna (46:47): “A good clap back is like food for the soul.”

Key Points:

• The hosts debate the merits of responding versus ignoring negative remarks, with Harry advocating for non-engagement to avoid fueling further negativity.
• Lisa, however, praises the satisfaction and empowerment that can come from a well-timed and humorous clap back.
• They agree that if a clap back is necessary, it should stem from genuine instinct and incorporate humor or self-deprecation to maintain class and prevent further conflict.

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Conclusion

In "My Partner Moved Out Without a Word… Now What?", Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin offer a blend of practical advice, personal anecdotes, and entertaining banter. From navigating political differences and managing finances to building confidence and handling family dynamics, the hosts provide valuable insights for listeners facing similar challenges. Their authentic and humorous approach makes complex and sensitive topics accessible, reinforcing their long-standing relationship dynamics and mutual support.

Listeners looking for relatable discussions on relationships, personal growth, and everyday challenges will find this episode both informative and enjoyable. Lisa and Harry's ability to balance humor with heartfelt advice underscores the essence of Let's Not Talk About The Husband — a perfect mix of humor and heart that resonates with a wide audience.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Harry Hamlin (05:08): “I do not want to have to think about the fucking President."
• Harry Hamlin (07:18): “There is no such thing [as alternative facts].”
• Harry Hamlin (08:17): “People are so angry now about what's going on in politics... You better find out before that first kiss."
• Harry Hamlin (09:24): “...anybody who has empathy, empathetic is woke."
• Lisa Rinna (12:10): “Good fucking riddance.”
• Harry Hamlin (15:22): “Detectivism. I like the word.”
• Harry Hamlin (22:59): “If you can keep it positive... money can have such a negative connotation to it.”
• Harry Hamlin (24:44): “If you put your attention on other people, that's instantaneous confidence.”
• Lisa Rinna (25:42): “Volunteer somewhere, you do something to get your attention off yourself.”
• Harry Hamlin (38:19): “I’m afraid, I found this little bowl... my mother and my brother says...”
• Harry Hamlin (42:30): “I think George Clooney could play you quite well.”
• Lisa Rinna (43:34): “Meryl Streep is gonna play me.”
• Harry Hamlin (45:40): “I let it slide off my back like water off a duck's back.”
• Lisa Rinna (46:47): “A good clap back is like food for the soul.”

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This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the enriching discussions that Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin offer in this episode.

Transcript

[Lisa Rinna]

The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. Hi, I'm Lisa Rinna.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I'm Harry Hamlin.

[Lisa Rinna]

And this is. Let's not talk about the Husband.

[Harry Hamlin]

We've been together for over 30 years, and we've been working in this industry a lot longer.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, you know, we have some crazy stories to tell, and on this podcast, we're gonna own it, baby.

[Harry Hamlin]

Buckle up. Let's get into today's episode. Okay. Hello, everybody, and thanks for checking in. Let's not talk about the husband.

[Lisa Rinna]

Is that what they do? They check into it like a hotel?

[Harry Hamlin]

I guess so. Thanks for putting your card down for the incidentals. And here we go. Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

You were talking about your hair color the other day and how many changes it's been through since we started.

[Harry Hamlin]

Since we started. Okay, that's true. Okay, so I do this show, Mayfair Witches, Anne Rice's Mayfair Witches for amc. And Anne Rice wrote this character that I'm playing, and she wrote him as, like, a late 60s narcissistic man about town who dyes his hair black. So going with the character, I dyed my hair black to do that show, thinking, oh, this is great. A new look for Harry. And then you finish the show after five months, and then what do you do? I mean, I've got black hair, and it's quite long. I either shave it all off and go bald and let it grow out to this color, or I gradually bring it back to my natural color, which is this color. And that gradual comeback over the last few months has led to a lot of different colors of hair while I'm sitting in this particular chair. So, yeah, this is it. This is my. Now this is going to be a lot shorter next time I do this because I'm getting it cut off tomorrow, but this is.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, it seems to be back to. I mean, it's the new original.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's been dark brown, it's been black, it's been light brown, and now it is the natural color. But that's why. Because I would look like a skunk if I didn't gradually color it back over time.

[Lisa Rinna]

So instead, I just had you shave it off.

[Harry Hamlin]

Much next time. Yeah, I'm not gonna do. I think I'm. I think I. I think when we go back for season three, I'm not gonna dye it black.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, if they want it black, you get a wig.

[Harry Hamlin]

I'm gonna have them put a wig on you.

[Lisa Rinna]

Put a wig on. A wig will save you. They make great wigs now. Yeah, you put a wig cap on, you plop that wig on or lace front, whatever. And you save your hair.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, my hair is gonna be fine. It's just the color is, like, weird, you know, it's like. Yeah, it went from black to kind of weird brown to weirder brown.

[Lisa Rinna]

It was a journey.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

It was definitely a journey. So wig it is.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

Wigs are better anyway. So much easier. All right, so we're gonna take some questions. We did our, like, our therapy session with Lisa and Harry.

[Harry Hamlin]

Before we get to the questions, I gotta talk about your hat.

[Lisa Rinna]

Okay.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay. So this is that Pepe Le Pew.

[Lisa Rinna]

Von Dutch.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's Von Dutch. Von Dutch was big when we had the store back in the early aughts.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's right. Kim Petrus, the performer. It's her collab with Von Dutch. Why Pepe Le Pew? I don't know.

[Harry Hamlin]

Why the skunk? Why don't you stinky Pepe Le Pew?

[Lisa Rinna]

She must have loved him. I didn't ask her that. She sent me this, and I was like, cool. I like Von Dutch.

[Harry Hamlin]

I like it too.

[Lisa Rinna]

But I don't know the history of it. You'd have to ask.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's a very stinky statement, Kim. Anyway, so questions.

[Lisa Rinna]

We're gonna do a little advice from Lisa and Harry.

[Harry Hamlin]

We're not professionals. We can't give advice.

[Lisa Rinna]

We can't. But it's kind of fun. Yeah, it's kind of fun.

[Harry Hamlin]

So what if we leave somebody down the garden path?

[Lisa Rinna]

Fun.

[Harry Hamlin]

Which path is that, by the way?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, the garden path's okay. Down the rabbit hole, maybe not. So. Okay, okay, we do it honestly. But we're not professionals. So again, you should always see a professional. This is just kind of for fun.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, so we're gonna take you down the garden path. We're not gonna do the rabbit hole thing today. Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

Garden path, garden path. But again, grain of salt. Take us with a grain of salt. We're just coming from our own wisdom and history of fucked upness.

[Harry Hamlin]

We're gonna go down the garden path with a grain of salt.

[Lisa Rinna]

Okay, there you go. Fire away, Eve. Far away.

[Listener]

So we got a bunch of questions from your listeners. They are loving, loving this advice segment.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, boy.

[Listener]

Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

Advice from Lisa and Harry.

[Listener]

Advice from Lisa and Harry. Let's get started. How do you navigate politics when your significant other is on the opposite side of the aisle?

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, thank goodness that we are not on the opposite side of the aisle, because that could be tricky. But, you know, but a lot of.

[Lisa Rinna]

Families are having this.

[Harry Hamlin]

I hear about a James Carville and. And he was with He's a big Democrat. He was with. Married to a Republican for many, many years. Yeah. Then, yeah, there's a bunch of people who are kind of out there in the news where one's a big Republican and one's a big Democrat, but not.

[Lisa Rinna]

That many that I know.

[Harry Hamlin]

I don't know. I mean, I think that would be very difficult.

[Lisa Rinna]

I do, too. Especially in this day and age.

[Harry Hamlin]

In this day and age when politics are so completely separated and, like, weird. I would say that you want to stay away from that discussion as much as possible. Look, I mean, politics right now are insane. And what's going on in our country and if you ask me, is insane. There's so much insanity going on right now, and I just cannot wait for us to get back to a moment when things are calm and we're sane. And I don't want to hear about what's going on in Washington. I want what's going on in Washington to be like, not news that I want to check into every day. I want to live my life and go about and do our things and make love and have dinner and cook food and create stuff. But I do not want to have to think about the fucking President. I'm sorry.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, what if you were married to someone or your parents or your siblings? Because this is what I hear about are the other. You know, they're the other from you. And you can't even be in the same room together. Like, you can't. Like I have friends that have had to completely remove themselves from their families because of the politics of today.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, there's so much propaganda out there today, and there's so much lies and so much misinformation and disinformation out there. It's almost impossible to know what's real and what isn't. I mean, when we were growing up, we had Walter Cronkite, right? You know, we had three networks. We had the same news every night from, you know, different people sitting behind desks on the three networks, but all telling the same story.

[Lisa Rinna]

There's too much. There's too much right now.

[Harry Hamlin]

Now, you turn on one network and you get one story and you turn on another work, and it's exactly the opposite story. I mean, how can that be? How can there be two realities? There cannot be. There's only one. There's one truth, one. One reality. And yet the way we are being approached in the media is as though there are two separate realities and as though there are alternative facts, which there are not.

[Lisa Rinna]

There is no such thing.

[Harry Hamlin]

So I don't know.

[Lisa Rinna]

I mean that this is a unanswerable question.

[Harry Hamlin]

I do not know how you deal with that. But I would say this. Do not keep sharp objects or loaded guns or anything like that, blunt objects near you when you're having any discussions about politics. Yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Good. Good answer, Harry. Good answer.

[Listener]

I have a follow up question for you guys. For people who are actively dating, when do you think is the time to bring up politics? Do you think they should bring it up at the beginning or so that they avoid getting into this situation at all?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I think you have to find out whether someone's a Democrat or a Republican. I do think that's appropriate to ask.

[Harry Hamlin]

And when I was growing up and all through my life know, I have dated Republicans, I've dated Democrats, I've dated people who are apolitical. That was all good and well and fine until about 10, 12 years ago. Now you, you got to find out. Before. Yeah. Before that first kiss. You better find out.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think you do need to find out.

[Harry Hamlin]

People are so angry now about what's going on in politics that.

[Lisa Rinna]

And they weren't, we weren't back then.

[Harry Hamlin]

No, I mean, the, the political parties were different, but they weren't diametrically opposed.

[Lisa Rinna]

You didn't hate each other, you just were different political parties.

[Harry Hamlin]

They weren't enemies. No, no. Now they're enemies.

[Lisa Rinna]

I know.

[Harry Hamlin]

Now they're traitors. If you're not in one political party, you're a traitor to the other one. And it's like something's got to change, something's got to give here because this is just wrong.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think that it will, I hope it will swing the other way because we're swinging so far one way. I'm hoping it'll swing.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, usually the pendulum does come back and, and I have a feeling that the pendulum has swung so far at this time toward populism and the right that it's going to swing back. You know, I mean, people are so loathe to talk about wokeism and all of that. And, you know, you could say that. What is woke anyway? I mean, how do you define woke? I look at it, I say anybody who has empathy, empathetic is woke.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

I mean, I don't know.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, I think that's a really good way to put it.

[Harry Hamlin]

To me, it's empathy. It's. It's not anything else. Not political. It's just if you're empathetic, you, you believe that your fellow humans deserve more than they're perhaps getting. I Don't know. Empathy.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think we're lacking that right now. And I think for sure, if you're going to start dating somebody, you better make sure they're empathetic. Because if they're coming from that place of hate, hate, you want to run, not walk. No time for it. You need to be at least in a relationship that comes from softness and empathy. Because if you don't, well, compassion, I.

[Harry Hamlin]

Think compassion is really, really important in this day and age. And I remember, I think it was George H.W. who said he was coming from George H.W. but he was going to come from. With compassionate conservatism. Wasn't that kind of a catchphrase at one time? And that worked for a while. I wish that compassion would find its way back into political discourse.

[Lisa Rinna]

I would.

[Harry Hamlin]

Not there at the moment.

[Lisa Rinna]

No. It needs to come back because right now it's cruel. I would label it as cruel.

[Harry Hamlin]

Cruel. There is cruelty out there. So whatever you want to do in your relationship, talk about unicorns and fairy tales and stuff like that, do not talk about Washington D.C. no.

[Lisa Rinna]

And no news 24 7. Don't let him or her keep the news on 24 7.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, that's true. However, I do also say that what we are going through right now is the greatest drama of our lifetimes.

[Lisa Rinna]

I thought O.J. was the greatest drama. That was pretty good.

[Harry Hamlin]

That was the trial of the century. But this is a drama.

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't like this drama.

[Harry Hamlin]

This drama is going to have implications historically that will go on for potentially hundreds of years, if not more. The implications of the reverberations from what's going on today are going to be felt for a long, long, long time. And there are going to be stories written about this time.

[Lisa Rinna]

They're going to be hundreds of years.

[Harry Hamlin]

Thousands of years, written poems, thousands songs. There are going to be books written about it. And there are going to be good guys and they're going to be bad, bad guys. And I would like all the major players out there who are involved in this political game that's going on to think about whether they're going to be the good guys or the bad guys.

[Lisa Rinna]

Very Hollywood. Sounds very Hollywood of you.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, I mean, 50 years from now, they're going to be good guys and bad guys from this time.

[Lisa Rinna]

Right.

[Harry Hamlin]

And it's going to be very clear who they are and were. So just curious. Think about it.

[Listener]

Food for thought.

[Lisa Rinna]

Food for thought.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Listener]

All right. Shall we move on?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes.

[Listener]

Okay. My partner moved out with no call, no note, no chat while I Was at work one day and refuses to talk to me. Any advice?

[Lisa Rinna]

Good fucking riddance.

[Harry Hamlin]

That sounds like what? Erica Jane.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's true.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's.

[Lisa Rinna]

I got. I flashed on that, too. That's literally what she did. She just. While he was at work, she gathered up the stuff and got out.

[Harry Hamlin]

She had a moving van ready to come.

[Lisa Rinna]

She.

[Harry Hamlin]

She drove him to work tomorrow. Her husband to work. You know, he was a big shot lawyer, big tort lawyer. Well known for what? The PG&E thing?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, like the whole, you know. Yeah. When people got into horrible accidents.

[Harry Hamlin]

I mean, he was. He was considered one of the greatest tort lawyers of all time. And then they found out that he was kind of maybe cheating on some of his clients and. And she found out that the shit was gonna hit the fan and she divorced him on the same day. She had everything moved out of the house by a moving company.

[Lisa Rinna]

It was election day. Because I'll never forget, we were having. I was having breakfast with Jana and Robin, sitting at La Pan, having our birthday breakfast for Jana. It was Jana's birthday, election day. I get a text. It's on a group text with Erica, Kyle, Dorit, I think, and Teddy. And she says, guys, I need to let you know I've just filed for divorce from Tom. I've just moved out. He has no idea. It's quite a shocking text to get.

[Harry Hamlin]

So this is the similar situation that we're talking about here. So the boyfriend has moved out. Is that what's happened in this situation?

[Listener]

Yeah, I don't know if it's the boyfriend or girlfriend, whoever.

[Lisa Rinna]

The partner moved out.

[Listener]

The partner moved out. And the person who wrote in has no idea why.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I mean, that would really be unsettling if you think everything's going well, but something must have happened in order for this person to do that. So.

[Listener]

Yikes.

[Harry Hamlin]

No warning. No. I mean, it would be like if all of a sudden, I woke up one morning and you were gone, all your stuff jumped up and down.

[Lisa Rinna]

You'd be like.

[Harry Hamlin]

The wicked witch is gone. Wicked witch is gone. No, I would not. I would be devastated.

[Lisa Rinna]

I mean, that's very unsettling and very upsetting and really traumatic, I think, for somebody to do that. So I don't wish that upon anybody, but I did see the other side of it. We did see the other side of it, America.

[Harry Hamlin]

I mean, look, I don't know how you. I mean, if the person has disappeared, there's no way to find them. No way to find out what happened. I mean, look, they're going to come back eventually. Nothing ever ends, ends, ends, ends like that.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

There's always going to be a tail end to it somewhere someone's going to come back.

[Lisa Rinna]

I would see if you could find out as much information. Be a detective. Put on your detective hat and find out what the heck happened and what why, you know why.

[Harry Hamlin]

You hear about people, you know, mothers with a couple of kids and all of a sudden one day the father just splits and is never heard from again. I wonder if this is a situation like that. I don't know.

[Lisa Rinna]

But all I know is that can't be very cute or very fun. So sorry, sorry, sorry about that. But probably time to move on.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Well, I think this listener should write back in and give us an update if you learn anything.

[Lisa Rinna]

Good idea. Let us know if your detective detective detectivism produces anything.

[Harry Hamlin]

Detectivism. I like the word.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, I do too.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, that'll give you something to do anyway. For sure. Wow, what a bummer.

[Lisa Rinna]

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[Listener]

Okay, next question. Any advice on how to divide, slash, unify money in a relationship? What should be mutual and what should be personal?

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, money. Gosh, you know, money, money makes.

[Harry Hamlin]

After many years, we now finally we have our own pushki accounts.

[Lisa Rinna]

We had joint, joint, joint from the beginning.

[Harry Hamlin]

Joint, joint, joint from the beginning.

[Lisa Rinna]

But now and then you snuck your own account.

[Harry Hamlin]

I snuck my own account in because all of a sudden I was getting pension money because I got old. So I was getting money from Social Security and money from my pensions. And I thought, well, I don't really want that money to go into the general account because then it gets lost and maybe I can develop some dough for a vacation from time to time or something.

[Lisa Rinna]

So he called it our push key. You called it your push key account. And then I was like, well, I want a push key account. So I opened my own push key account. So it's like for vacations and extras and like.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, I mean, there, you know, there's, there's different ways that, that we have revenue streams. Yeah. I mean, cameo is something that, you.

[Lisa Rinna]

Know, that's in my push key account.

[Harry Hamlin]

You do very a lot of cameos.

[Lisa Rinna]

I do, I do. You know, I was so against it for so long because I think all the housewives did it. And I was just like, I'm not doing it. And then our friend Kenny G, I dropped a name. There you go.

[Harry Hamlin]

There's another name to drop. Kenny G. Kenny Gorlick.

[Lisa Rinna]

He convinced us to do it because he's an investor in the company. So he convinced me it was like a good thing. So what I have found is what I really like about it is people are giving gifts to people, so I become a gift.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, it makes people happy and it makes people happy.

[Lisa Rinna]

So there's nothing negative about it. It's all positive. And, and I have become a very kind of unhinged cameo giver.

[Harry Hamlin]

I've not seen any of your cameo.

[Lisa Rinna]

They're unhinged.

[Harry Hamlin]

Really.

[Lisa Rinna]

They're unhinged.

[Harry Hamlin]

I got to check.

[Lisa Rinna]

I have decided because now they. People post them on TikTok and, you know, they go, I guess, viral because the kids see them all the time. I, I tend to have. I go on. I tend to go on because I want it to be long enough so it, it's worth their money. Right. Like, I, I don't do it quick. Remember the first one I did really quick and you were like, I think you might need to work on that. That was just a little.

[Harry Hamlin]

Add a little pizzazz.

[Lisa Rinna]

Pizzazz.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, honey, the pizzazz has been added to where I would say it's kind of unhinged. But, but very, very Lisa Rinna esque. But.

[Harry Hamlin]

So that's a revenue stream that has nothing to do with like, our other jobs, our kind of day jobs. So those little, in terms of ancillary revenue streams, we put into our own personal accounts and then, and then we've got a joint account where, like, if I'm doing a job and Lisa's doing a job, then that goes into the main account which pays our mortgage and covers all the bills and stuff like that. And then we've got these other two accounts that kind of just for fun.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think it's a great idea to kind of trick yourself in your money situation to where you have your own account that is for, like, fun, good, positive things, because money can be very tricky and you're paying bills. And I like the idea if you're going to have a joint account with somebody to have your little extra account, it feels good.

[Harry Hamlin]

If it's possible to do. If it's possible, you know, things right now, they seem to, I think, I think that things cost about 30% more today than they did before the pandemic.

[Lisa Rinna]

They do, I think maybe even more. And with the tax on top of it here. It's a lot. It is a lot. And so any way you can, kind of. I think the key about money, the way to make money work for you is if you can keep it positive, which is very hard because money can have such a negative connotation to it because certainly if you're in debt or you don't have enough, it gets very dark. So I really believe, I do believe the more that putting out money brings money in. I think there has to be a flow to money. And I think somehow you got to figure out a way to keep it positive. And that's how it keeps coming in.

[Harry Hamlin]

The flow is good and you want to always keep putting money out there to get the flow, to keep the flow coming back. But it has to be within your means.

[Lisa Rinna]

I know. And that's where it's tricky.

[Harry Hamlin]

You just can't spend more than you make because then you get into some big problems.

[Lisa Rinna]

And we've been down all these roads, guys, like literally, because we're working actors who work sometimes and then you don't work and then there's like a strike and then there's this and that. I mean, like, we've been through all of it and you really want to.

[Harry Hamlin]

Be like a squirrel too. You want to squirrel that dough away because for a rainy day. Because those rainy days come and I mean, I'm in my seventh decade now and have been able. I've been an actor my whole life. Been able to raise a family.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's a miracle, actually.

[Harry Hamlin]

We have houses and stuff like that. But it's like, yeah, it's like creating a tapestry out of your life. Like one thing here, another thing there. Keep those revenue streams coming. But yeah, it's a tough subject.

[Lisa Rinna]

Money and like politics. We're getting hit with some big ones right out of the gate.

[Harry Hamlin]

Politics and money.

[Lisa Rinna]

Politics. Money. Woo.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. So now comes sex, I guess. I don't know what's next.

[Listener]

I mean, I can. You want me to go there?

[Lisa Rinna]

I'll go. No, no, no. It doesn't need to be. It can be.

[Listener]

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Okay, next one. Can both of you share how you build your confidence? Is there a secret for how to be the most confident person in the room? I would love to hear both of your perspectives.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay. So I always say that the way to become, to be confident, at least for me, what works for me is for me to put my attention on the other people in the room. Whoever you say you're talking about the room. Okay, so if I walk into a room and I put my attention on other people, not on myself, that's instantaneous confidence.

[Lisa Rinna]

That is by far the best advice about confidence I think that you could give.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. And listen. Listen very carefully to what is being said by the other people in the room. Whether it's one person or many, you know, listening I think is the most important thing about confidence. If you don't listen and your attention is on yourself, in a situation where you're with other people, it's very easy to become self conscious and very easy to lose your sense of confidence.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. The key to me is you put your attention on another person or you give. So you go volunteer somewhere, you do something to get your attention off yourself and get out of your head. Because all of us, you know, it's very hard to walk into a room, say with a hundred people at a party and not think, oh, I don't like what I'm wearing or you know, whatever, like some or other people don't.

[Harry Hamlin]

Like what you're wearing. I mean, that's one of the things we teach our kids all the time, is what other people think of you is none of your business. And if you can have that mindset when you walk into a room full of strangers, then you're good. You know, you can. What I do when I walk into a room full of. And I go a lot of times into rooms where I don't know a soul in the room, not a soul. There might be 50 or 100 people in the room and they're all sitting around and maybe they know each other, maybe they don't. But I always go walk up to the nearest group of people, introduce myself and say, hey, what's your guys story?

[Lisa Rinna]

Right.

[Harry Hamlin]

Or why are you here? Or how you know, basically what's your story? And people love to be asked questions about. And the more you ask questions about somebody else, the more you engage with them.

[Lisa Rinna]

Another good word is to stay curious. If you're curious, that means your attention is not on yourself. You're curious about the party, the people, the whatever it is. So you're not thinking, oh, I don't look good or oh, I don't feel good or oh, I'm a loser or whatever we do to ourselves to make ourselves not have confidence.

[Harry Hamlin]

Find with whomever you're talking to, whether it's one person or a group. Find something you can compliment about the people, something that you actually are. I mean, something real. Yeah, you don't want to fake a compliment, but look around.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, I have.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, I prefer not to.

[Lisa Rinna]

I mean, I'm just going to be honest. I have before.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, Just to make people feel better. Why would you fake a compliment if you notice that somebody's like nervous or something, you might do that just to take the edge off.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, there's times where you just, you come up with things like Fake it till you make it kind of thing.

[Harry Hamlin]

There's also another thing about like, let's say you go, you're at a performance and you go backstage and the performance was like, not that great.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's when you have to fake it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay? But this is what I learned and.

[Lisa Rinna]

You have to find something.

[Harry Hamlin]

I learned a phrase, okay. Which is great. This is something that everybody can use. Okay. I was asked to do the commencement speech at my high school in the 80s when I was really famous. I was doing LA Law and they asked me to go back to Pennsylvania to my boarding school and give the commencement speech. Right. So I, I made up this speech that, well, I thought was really cool, but it was, you know, the school I went to was very buttoned down Episcopal, very conservative, and I gave a pretty liberal leaning speech about how you need to listen to the little voice inside of you and try to understand who you are after you graduate because there's going to be so much stuff coming at you. And the headmaster wrote me a letter after I left and after I gave the speech, which I know turned a lot of heads. And in the letter he said, dear Harry, I just want to say that that was just about one of the best commencement speeches I've ever heard.

[Lisa Rinna]

And he's probably not heard very many.

[Harry Hamlin]

But wait, take that sentence and deconstruct it. I just said, dear Harry, that was just about one of the best commencement speeches I ever. So it was just about one of the best. It's not quite one of the best, but it sounds like. So you go backstage and you say, that was just about one of the best performances I've ever seen.

[Lisa Rinna]

Okay.

[Harry Hamlin]

And the person you're saying that to goes, oh, what a great compliment. Without.

[Lisa Rinna]

But now we all know you've told everybody what it means, that it's not a great compliment, actually. So you kind of ruined it for everybody.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, but I know, but the people who are people who were hearing this.

[Lisa Rinna]

They can find other. The five people that are listening know, but the rest are refined.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, that's true, but I just always thought it was like, okay, because when I first read the headmaster's letter to me, I went, oh, I must have given a good speech. And then I thought about it for a minute, but wait, just about. It's not quite one of the best. Okay. So anyway, that's something you can say to compliment somebody, to take the, you want to take the tension off of yourself. That's what we're getting.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. It's about putting your attention on anything Else it could be on this jar of sauce. It could be anywhere. Just don't think about yourself. Don't put it on yourself, because then you'll pick yourself apart, because that's what our brains tend to do.

[Harry Hamlin]

And because we think and we think too much. And as Shakespeare said in Hamlet, there's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. There you go.

[Lisa Rinna]

There you go. That's a good sentence to end it on this question.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, so next.

[Listener]

Okay. Love it. Next question. My hubby and I are feeling a little bit lost now that our girls are in their 20s and they need us less. Any advice?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, they could get a puppy.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know a puppy helps.

[Lisa Rinna]

Puppy does help a little bit, for sure.

[Harry Hamlin]

So we got a couple of dogs, and when in the morning when Lisa and I meet in the. In the kitchen, we hug. The animals come over and do a group hug with us as soon as they see us hugging.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's so cute. We did it with Rocky for years, and now little Cheetah comes over.

[Harry Hamlin]

Cheetah comes over, and the four of us get together and have a group hub in the kitchen every morning.

[Lisa Rinna]

So cute. I'm going to say animals help because the house does get very lonely and empty, and you've got to, like, find ways to entertain yourself, basically, because you're so busy when you're raising kids, it's all consuming, Right.

[Harry Hamlin]

Getting to school, getting them dressed, getting.

[Lisa Rinna]

Them fires out, doing homework.

[Harry Hamlin]

I mean, da, da, da.

[Lisa Rinna]

It just never ends. Now it's like, wow, okay, you know, how many shows can I watch?

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, you can do a podcast in your spare time. You know, whatever.

[Lisa Rinna]

Get a puppy.

[Harry Hamlin]

I would say get a puppy, but also, you know, treat your kids in such a way that they want to come home. Home, you know, because our kids are coming home.

[Lisa Rinna]

I know.

[Harry Hamlin]

They come home in a couple of days, we're having the whole family back together in the same roof. I know. And they'll be there for how long? A couple weeks?

[Lisa Rinna]

No, a week at the most.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. Anyway, a week. So. And if they like to come back. So that's a good thing.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, very good. So it doesn't feel like they're ever gone for that long, but. Yeah, you got to keep yourself busy, though, because it does. It's very different.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. I mean, the good news for us is that we're working. We're actors. We will never retire. So, yeah, the kids have moved out. We have an empty nest. We've got a couple of dogs and a fish and. And a cat that we Never a.

[Lisa Rinna]

Stray cat called Kitty that lives out in the gym.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

And we do have a menagerie.

[Harry Hamlin]

We have pets and stuff like that. And we have to feed them and we have to make sure they're okay and take them to the doctor, which is lovely. That's a little bit like having kids. Well, don't have to do any homework.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, it's really not.

[Harry Hamlin]

They don't talk back.

[Lisa Rinna]

Easy. Oh, God.

[Harry Hamlin]

Anyway, really great. I don't have any other advice for you than that.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's it. I say get a little animal of some kind. That will help.

[Listener]

Have you guys developed any, like, new hobbies since your girls moved out?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, you started playing the guitar. But you were playing the guitar.

[Harry Hamlin]

I'm just. I'm writing some songs now.

[Lisa Rinna]

These cooking kind of. Writing cooking for you?

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, I've been cooking a lot more now that I have a cooking show on amc. I cook. But no new hobbies? Nothing absolutely new that I know of. No. What should we do? I can't think of the new hobby. You know, a friend of mine, fashion.

[Lisa Rinna]

My fashion is.

[Harry Hamlin]

Does roller derby. He's a. He's a referee for roller derby. And I said, what's it like to. To be in roller. He said, you should come out to the rink sometime and try it out. Let's go roller derby.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think I'd break my neck. I would like to go watch it, but Roller Jerry can be kind of intense.

[Harry Hamlin]

I think I said, the girls still pull their hair and stuff. He said, no, no, that's all. You still wear helmets.

[Lisa Rinna]

But I'd watch it. I'm not sure I would do it because, you know, it's like, I won't water ski anymore. I won't do certain things that could really eff me up.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

And then I can't work.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

I mean, like, I pulled my back out a couple days ago because I sat in that airplane and I sat for so many hours. I think when I was flying back from Cayman.

[Harry Hamlin]

Right.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think I tweaked my lower back. And so for, like, the last three days, I've not been able to move very much. And that has really. It's changed the way I live my life. And I'm like, I can't afford that. I can't afford to pull.

[Harry Hamlin]

So no roller derby for you?

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't think so.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay. We'll have to find some other hobby. You know what? I was thinking about that. You know, a lot of couples after the kids leave, they get into playing games. They get into playing cards. They're playing backgammon or something like that. Uno.

[Lisa Rinna]

I like Uno with the kids, but the kids.

[Harry Hamlin]

But between the two of us, I mean, something for you and me to play in the evenings. My parents used to play backgammon, but they would play two or three games and be absolutely shit faced by the end of it. Then they would fight for the rest of the night.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's awful.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's not really what I want to do. No.

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't know. I have a love hate relationship with games. I love games and then I hate them, too.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, well, I don't think we'll be playing any games. So we've got. We. We have. We have enough to do with our puppy.

[Listener]

Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

This episode of let's Not Talk about the Husband is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. Imagine traveling with three toddlers, two grandparents, and one nap schedule that rules them all. Yep. You might need blackout curtains and separate rooms. Now imagine you're a coach with 12 middle schoolers, each with their own snack preferences. Might need a place to store and buy the snacks. Imagine you're a foodie family. Might need a big kitchen or to be the closest to the best restaurants. From vacation rentals to hotels across the U.S. booking.com has the ideal summer stay for absolutely everyone, even those who might seem impossible to please. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, or your sleep light rise early, mom, you can find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com I love booking.com because it makes it so easy to book for, say, a family trip. Look, we're going to take you family trip. Everybody has different needs. Everybody wants a different situation. But I always find it on booking.com I can find the place we want. I can find separate rooms. I can find the kitchen we like. I can find it on the beach, in the mountains, wherever my heart desires. I can find it on booking.com find exactly what you're booking for booking.combooking. yeah. Book today on the site or in the app Easy breezy.

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[Listener]

Okay, next question. Advice on having a controlling mother. I'm 22 years old. I still live with her, but she critiques me a lot.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, controlling. I wonder if your mom is in competition with you.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's a.

[Harry Hamlin]

Are you boy or girl?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, we don't know. Probably a girl.

[Listener]

Not sure.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think that that's challenging because the pressure of that, you know, if it's. If you're a girl. Mother, Daughter. Relationships are complicated. Anyway. I would say that's very tricky because. Oh, maybe. Maybe the. Putting attention off yourself onto your mom when they're doing that would be helpful because if she's critiquing, that's hard because then you, like, go into yourself. What if you, like, put your attention on while she's doing that and maybe ask questions?

[Harry Hamlin]

I don't know. I didn't get along very well with my mother. I don't have much advice to give about that. I think I messed that relationship up when I was three. Three. When my mother accused a relationship up.

[Lisa Rinna]

When you're an adolescent, like a child.

[Harry Hamlin]

No, but I did.

[Lisa Rinna]

Wow.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay. So I wrote about this in the book that I published in 2010. It was called Full Frontal Nudity. The book. But. Okay, I talk about my relationship. My mother fell apart when I was.

[Lisa Rinna]

Three years old because that's so sad.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know. But, you know, it's a little perverse. It's a little perversity involved with this. And I write about it in the book. So when you're three or four years old, you're just discovering stuff about yourself and life and the world and your body and all of that. And I don't know, but for some reason, I found this little bowl, a metal bowl that used to be in the garden somewhere. And one day, at three years old, I thought it would be really kind of interesting and different and cool to pee into that bowl, because that's what boys do, right?

[Lisa Rinna]

They want to pee everywhere.

[Harry Hamlin]

I just. I peed into the bowl.

[Lisa Rinna]

All right? So.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I. And I left the bowl there in the garden, full of my pee. Right, Right. So my mother and my. My brother comes out, says, oh, my God, Harry. Harry. Mom. Mom. Harry peed in the bowl outside. And she comes out and she looks at it, and she looks at the pee in the bowl, and she looks at me and said, son, did you pee in the bowl? And I said, no, I didn't pee in the bowl. I said, the dog must have peed in the bowl. I didn't pee in the bowl.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, shame, shame, shame.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I was so ashamed that I couldn't admit it. I could not admit that I had actually peed in the bowl. But it was obvious that it wasn't the dog beating the bowl. And my brother was, like, wanted to have me crucified by my mother. And I stuck to the lie of, no, I'm sorry, it wasn't me.

[Lisa Rinna]

Wow.

[Harry Hamlin]

And that, I'm afraid, put a damper on my relationship with my mother for the next, like, 40 years.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, that is just a darn shame.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Actually, that's very sad. So whatever lesson you can take from that, Good luck. Good luck. But I would say in that try to fix the situation that's happening. That doesn't sound like it feels very good for you. If you're feeling like your mom is hard on you and critiquing you, I would say, personally, to say to your mom and tell your mom how you feel. Like, I feel like you're critiquing me a lot, and you're trying to control me a lot, and it doesn't really feel good. And I want you to know that this is how I feel. Because no one can ever take away your feelings. No one can ever say you're bad because you feel that, because your feelings are your feelings.

[Harry Hamlin]

Right. You're not making what we call an ad hominem attack by saying you're a creep or you're bad or whatever. You're just saying, I feel this way. So if you're telling people how you feel, they can't say you don't feel that way. You know, they can't argue with you, really, because that's the way you feel. So if you're honest about how you feel and tell your mom how you're feeling, I think that that probably will at least put things out in the open.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes. At least. You know, vulnerability is always a saving grace. I think if you're angry and you want to attack somebody, you have to find a way to get vulnerable so that you can be honest about your feelings.

[Harry Hamlin]

Exactly. And I learned a lesson when I was three. The truth will set you free.

[Lisa Rinna]

That is right.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I didn't tell the truth, and I've been paying for it.

[Lisa Rinna]

And you're tortured by it your whole life. So this is a very good lesson. We have a lot of good lessons that we've learned in our lives because we're old.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, honesty Is the best policy. Put it that way.

[Lisa Rinna]

All right, I hope that helps.

[Listener]

Okay, so I have one more question for you guys, and it's also kind of a game, so I think it's like a question game hybrid.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yay.

[Listener]

So this listener asked, who would you cast as Lisa if there were a movie about your life? And that question is for Harry. And then Lisa, who would you cast as Harry? And then to build on that, who would you cast as, like, all the other people in your life? So maybe your kids, your friends?

[Harry Hamlin]

We're gonna make a big, big action adventure movie.

[Listener]

Yeah, let's cast a movie.

[Harry Hamlin]

Is this a million dollar movie? Movie?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Listener]

We have all the budget in the world.

[Harry Hamlin]

We have all the budget in the world. And I can cast whomever I want as Lisa.

[Listener]

Yes, that's correct.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I can't cast her.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, no.

[Harry Hamlin]

Somebody else.

[Lisa Rinna]

Who are you going to cast it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Be living or it has to be somebody alive. It can be somebody dead.

[Lisa Rinna]

Live. I think it has to be alive because you're casting a real movie.

[Listener]

Yeah, let's go. Let's go.

[Lisa Rinna]

Alive.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, so if it was alive, I was going to say Betty Davis, who was dead.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, that's a compliment. Yeah, I love that. You know, I love that. That. Okay, so dead version is Bette Davis.

[Harry Hamlin]

Dead version is Betty Davis. The live version would be. Wow, I gotta figure this out. So somebody who's got to be really attractive, really stylish, really funny, and really smart and really sexy and a great lover and a great businesswoman and a great housewife and all that. I mean, you know, I would have to create that person out of whole cloth. There just isn't anybody who could be.

[Lisa Rinna]

Who would be a good enough actor to portray that.

[Harry Hamlin]

Meryl.

[Lisa Rinna]

All right, There we go. Meryl Streep is gonna play me.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

I love it. I'll take it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, so Meryl's gonna. And then we have to cast everybody else, too.

[Lisa Rinna]

Why not cast you?

[Listener]

Yeah. Who do we cast as Harry?

[Lisa Rinna]

Brad Pitt.

[Listener]

Lisa's correct.

[Harry Hamlin]

He can pull it off.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

Do you play the guitar?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, I'm gonna say Brad Pitt.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. You have to at least have another sexiest man alive. Brad Pitt or George Clooney. George Clooney could play you quite well, actually. George might be even a better choice than Brad, you know? Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

I don't know.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think George. I'm gonna switch to George.

[Listener]

Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

George just became available, so he just finished the play in New York, so he's available.

[Harry Hamlin]

Which I saw, by the way, the play in New York.

[Lisa Rinna]

You did. I'm going to cast George. So how about for the girls?

[Harry Hamlin]

Do we need a couple of young whippersnappers?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, let's see. Delilah could be Britney Spears.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, no, no.

[Lisa Rinna]

But like a young Britney Spears. Young. A young Britney Spears. A young Christina Aguilera.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, you know all the young pop people. I don't know anybody in that genre, but. So I'm gonna beg. I'm gonna give this to Lisa. She can handle the rest of the casting.

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't know Amelia. It's hard because they're young. Who would play Amelia?

[Harry Hamlin]

I don't know young actors that much, so I wouldn't really know who to cast. You know, this is really hard. Do we get paid to do this?

[Lisa Rinna]

I know.

[Harry Hamlin]

Do we to cast this?

[Lisa Rinna]

Wow. I don't really like being a casting director, but. Okay, I. I'll have. Well hire some people to come in and help. How about.

[Harry Hamlin]

We're going to hire people.

[Lisa Rinna]

We'll work on it. I like the casting of us, but I got to work on everybody else.

[Listener]

Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

All right.

[Listener]

Maybe we'll get back to you.

[Lisa Rinna]

Get back to you on that. Did take too long. I think about it.

[Listener]

Okay, last question from your listeners. Advice on how to clap back and stay classy while doing it.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, you know what a clap back is?

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, yes, I do know what a clap back is. And I've been in a situation not long ago where I had to figure out whether to clap back or not.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, you did it in a good way. I already know what you're talking about.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, I.

[Lisa Rinna]

First of all, I love a clap back. It's one of my favorite things.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, but.

[Lisa Rinna]

But to do it in a classy way is challenging.

[Harry Hamlin]

But once you clap back, you open the door to more clapback. So, I mean, you, you know, but.

[Lisa Rinna]

Sometimes it's so needed, you have to.

[Harry Hamlin]

Clap that I'm not sure it's ever needed. I mean, really. I mean, we started to deal with this when the tabloids were. Had us on the covers and stuff. Back in the day, you know, when I was going through a divorce, the tabloids had me out there on a pretty much constant basis. And it was like my attitude toward that was not to clap back. Not to say, you know, just to sue or to try to get something out there as a retraction, but to let it slide off my back like water off a duck's back. You know, you don't want to engage. You just want to let that stuff.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, if you can. But let me tell you, it's so satisfying. A good clap back is like food for the soul.

[Harry Hamlin]

But then it comes back and it claps back.

[Lisa Rinna]

Not necessarily.

[Harry Hamlin]

Sometimes can you end. Can you actually have the final word?

[Lisa Rinna]

Sometimes you can clap back and it shuts them down really. But she wants it in a classy way. So what I have to say to you is have it come from your gut. Because if you can find some humor in it and some self deprecation, mix that all together and usually it will be a. A good one.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, yeah, you don't want to attack somebody in a clap. You want to make a statement, like.

[Lisa Rinna]

In a way, like I listen. The best clap backs come through your, your gut. It's instinct. You just do it. You don't think about it, you just clap. That's why you call it a clap back, because it's quick. It's like that, you know, it's like boom. And they are really satisfying. I have had some of the greatest moments in my life. Clapping back, really?

[Harry Hamlin]

And that. And ended it, I mean.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, yeah, I can shut people down pretty good.

[Harry Hamlin]

You can't. Yeah, I'm still talking.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I haven't clapped. I hardly. I don't clap you back. Oh, no. I don't clap you back when people say things that are really rude. You can, if you're coming from a good place and an honest place, with some sense of humor and some, I don't know, whatever else, grit or something thrown in, you can come up with some good things and you can't think about it too much. You just gotta do it.

[Harry Hamlin]

But doesn't if you need to clap back, doesn't that mean that whoever clapped first, first got under your skin and pushed a button?

[Lisa Rinna]

But not necessarily. If you do it in a funny way sometimes it's just kind of the language of social media also to clap back.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, but you only clap back when someone has clapped you, right?

[Lisa Rinna]

I mean, you get so literal that it blows my head off sometimes.

[Harry Hamlin]

But isn't that the truth? I mean, that's the case. I mean, yes, you clap back because somebody clapped you, right? And so, well, they were. Do you really want to throw fuel.

[Lisa Rinna]

Onto that fire sometimes? Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

Why?

[Lisa Rinna]

It's fun.

[Harry Hamlin]

I guess. It's fun.

[Lisa Rinna]

It feels good. It's fun.

[Harry Hamlin]

Sometimes you need to clap back.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, sometimes I don't agree.

[Harry Hamlin]

I don't agree to clap back. I disagree.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, all right. So you don't clap back. You say, don't do it. I say, she wants to do it in a classy way, but I'm not.

[Harry Hamlin]

Sure it's possible to do it in a classy way. I mean, it's not that I regret having done what I did in my clapback situation, which was very, very, very mild. Clapback.

[Lisa Rinna]

So mild.

[Harry Hamlin]

But I could have just, like, done nothing at all. I would have been fine.

[Lisa Rinna]

But the good news was I didn't clap back.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, that's what that. The whole thing was about. You clap back.

[Lisa Rinna]

I kept quiet, and that was a big win. When I don't clap back and I don't give somebody the time of day, that is begging.

[Harry Hamlin]

So. See, that's what I'm saying.

[Lisa Rinna]

Begging for me to do it. But these clap backs that I do that work. It's. It's so random that it doesn't make any sense or any news until it does, because it's such a good clap back.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, well, you're obviously good at it, and I'm not. I'm not even gonna try it.

[Lisa Rinna]

Okay, so good. So there you go. You got one person who thinks it's just delicious and another person that says, no, move along.

[Harry Hamlin]

I say, always it's better not to feed the beast. Well, so, you know, the beast comes in, they clap at you and, you know, just walk away.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, but sometimes it's so.

[Harry Hamlin]

Sometimes the old turn the other cheek, right? Yeah, it is. But it's.

[Lisa Rinna]

But it's like some of the ones I did on Housewives were, you know.

[Harry Hamlin]

Really memorable, and they became memes. Right?

[Lisa Rinna]

They're just memorable. They're so fun. So I like my clapbacks anyway.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's why we're opposites.

[Lisa Rinna]

Exactly.

[Harry Hamlin]

She wants to clap back. I say, forget about it. Just forget about it.

[Lisa Rinna]

Go with your gut. Yeah, go with your gut. That's what you do. And you always learn from it. Because some of my clapbacks open the door and it's not good. And you're like, oh, shit, I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. So there are.

[Harry Hamlin]

I always regret if I, like, allow my amygdala to take over my brain.

[Lisa Rinna]

And which part of your brain is that?

[Harry Hamlin]

The amygdala is the part that squirts a little bit of cortisol and adrenaline into your. Into your system, that it's fight or flight, essentially. So. And it's like when you. When all of a sudden you. You know in the movies, when you see people, like, they walk into a room and they take the whole desk and they float well, they break everything in the room or they go crazy. That's the amygdala taking over, you know, somebody's all. All upset and they walk into a room and they just throw everything off the desk.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, it makes for a great movie when they have that.

[Harry Hamlin]

But you've seen it so many times now, it's like, well, another one of those. So. But that's, you know, that's what I always say. It's better to not go there, to just let it flow off your back like water off the dust.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's why you're Harry Hamlin and I'm Lisa Rinna. That is the truth, right?

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, I guess so. But you're cute.

[Lisa Rinna]

How so are you?

[Harry Hamlin]

Thanks everybody for checking in with us one more time. Let's not talk about the husband.

[Lisa Rinna]

I wonder how much we charge for these rooms that you check into.

[Harry Hamlin]

Anyway, thanks for coming.

[Lisa Rinna]

Bye. Woo. Thanks for listening to our show. You can catch new episodes every Friday.

[Harry Hamlin]

And don't forget to subscribe. Subscribe so you don't miss anything.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, and if you liked what you.

[Harry Hamlin]

Heard, consider leaving us a rating or review. And make sure to tell all your friends too. I mean, like everyone you know and their mother.

[Lisa Rinna]

If you have a question for us or you need advice, God help you. Leave a voicemail using the link in our show notes. We might just answer your question in a future episode. Now you can find us on social media, LisaRenna on Instagram. And then I'm Lisa Rinnaofficial on TikTok.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I'm HarryRhamlin on Instagram.

[Lisa Rinna]

That's right.

[Harry Hamlin]

So see you next week.

[Lisa Rinna]

Until then, let's not talk about the husband. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.