Surviving a Serial Killer: The Story of Lois Rinna

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Surviving a Serial Killer: The Story of Lois Rinna"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Let's Not Talk About The Husband
• Hosts: Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin
• Episode: Surviving a Serial Killer: The Story of Lois Rinna
• Release Date: March 28, 2025

---

Introduction

In this emotionally charged episode of "Let's Not Talk About The Husband," hosts Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin delve into a deeply personal and harrowing family story—the survival of Lisa's mother, Lois Rinna, from a brutal attack by a serial killer. The conversation seamlessly transitions from light-hearted topics to profound discussions about trauma, parenting, and resilience.

---

The Attack on Lois Rinna

Details of the Incident:

Lisa Rinna recounts the traumatic event when her mother, Lois, was brutally attacked by a serial killer named David Carpenter. The incident occurred when Lois was 30 years old in the Presidio area of San Francisco.

• [16:25] Lisa Rinna: "The Hillside Strangler. No, Hillside Killer."

The Attack:

Launched as an attack by a trusted colleague, Carpenter offered Lois a ride under the guise of showing her his new baby. Initially sympathetic due to her co-worker's stutter, Lois sensed something was amiss when Carpenter began speaking fluently.

• [19:44] Lisa Rinna: "She knew. He was like, Lois, something comes over me. I can't help it."

As they drove into a deserted area of the Presidio, Carpenter's demeanor shifted. He pulled a knife from the glove box and violently attacked Lois, tearing her fingers while she tried to defend herself.

• [22:14] Harry Hamlin: "Is it night?"
• [22:15] Lisa Rinna: "It's morning."

Just as Carpenter intensified his assault with a hammer, a military policeman (MP) intervened, shooting Carpenter in the stomach and saving Lois's life.

Survival and Aftermath:

Despite the severe injuries, Lois survived the attack, spending three months in the hospital recovering. The ordeal led Lisa and her future husband Harry to bond over the shared trauma, eventually marrying a few months after the attack—a relationship formed through a "trauma bond."

• [24:43] Lisa Rinna: "He was convicted. Plea deal for six years."

---

Impact on Lisa Rinna's Life

Family Trauma and Resilience:

Lisa opens up about the lasting effects of her mother's attack and the environment in which she was raised. Growing up in a highly protective and fear-based household, Lisa discusses how these early experiences shaped her personality and coping mechanisms.

• [27:10] Lisa Rinna: "I have definite trauma from birth through all of it."

Her Mother's Strength:

Lois Rinna is portrayed as a beacon of resilience. Despite the trauma, Lois remained a positive and empathetic presence in the family. Later in life, a stroke altered her demeanor further, stripping away her judgmental and fearful traits, leading to a "rebirth" that Lisa cherishes.

• [31:07] Harry Hamlin: "It's truly amazing when you think about how fucked up I am."

Assisted Suicide:

The conversation also touches on the difficult decision to assist in her father's transition through assisted suicide in Oregon. Lisa describes the serene yet surreal process of preparing him for his final moments, underscored by familial love and the complexity of supporting a loved one's end-of-life choices.

• [34:00] Harry Hamlin: "We might as well just tell the story, because if anyone's going through this right now, you know, yeah, for sure it could help."

---

Parenting and Overcoming Adversity

Raising Resilient Children:

Both Lisa and Harry reflect on their parenting styles, emphasizing independence and resilience. They discuss methods like Ferberizing to encourage self-soothing in their children, balancing firmness with support to foster responsible and grounded adults.

• [47:37] Harry Hamlin: "Until we Ferberized them. You know, that's another thing. I don't know if they still do that. Is that still a thing?"

Shared Experiences and Growth:

The episode highlights how shared traumatic experiences can strengthen familial bonds and foster a unique understanding between partners. Lisa credits her mother's strength and the family's collective resilience for their ability to navigate life's challenges without succumbing to dysfunction.

• [33:42] Harry Hamlin: "That's true. And our kids loved her so much."

---

Closing Reflections

Memorializing Lois Rinna:

Lisa and Harry honor Lois Rinna's memory by sharing her story, ensuring that her strength and the lessons learned from her survival continue to inspire their listeners. They express gratitude for her influence and the stability she provided amidst chaos.

• [34:03] Harry Hamlin: "You were very lucky to have them as parents. You really were."

Encouraging Open Conversations:

The hosts advocate for open discussions about trauma, resilience, and family dynamics, recognizing the importance of sharing personal stories to aid others facing similar struggles.

• [36:28] Lisa Rinna: "We should just tell the story, because if anyone's going through this right now, you know, yeah, for sure it could help."

---

Notable Quotes

• [19:45] Lisa Rinna: "See how we learned."
• [25:17] Harry Hamlin: "Well, that sounds to me like maybe they're gonna do it now."
• [33:09] Harry Hamlin: "There was a stigma about it if you went to therapy."
• [34:20] Harry Hamlin: "So you were very lucky to have them as parents."
• [41:08] Harry Hamlin: "Well, that's a pretty major moment."
• [43:14] Harry Hamlin: "Belt, take your pants down, bend over."

---

Conclusion

"Surviving a Serial Killer: The Story of Lois Rinna" serves as a powerful testament to the human spirit's capacity to endure and overcome unimaginable trauma. Through candid conversations, Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin offer listeners an intimate glimpse into their lives, emphasizing the importance of resilience, supportive relationships, and open dialogue in the face of adversity. This episode not only honors Lois Rinna's survival but also provides valuable insights into navigating personal and familial challenges with strength and grace.

---

Stay Connected:

• Instagram: LisaRinna
• TikTok: @sirinnaofficial
• Harry Hamlin on Instagram: @aryrhamlin

Tune in every Friday for new episodes of "Let's Not Talk About The Husband," blending humor and heart in every conversation.

Transcript

[Lisa Rinna]

The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. Hi, I'm Lisa Rinna.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I'm Harry Hamlin.

[Lisa Rinna]

And this is. Let's not Talk about the Husband.

[Harry Hamlin]

We've been together for over 30 years, and we've been working in this industry a lot longer.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, you know, we have some crazy stories to tell. And on this podcast, we're going to own it, baby.

[Harry Hamlin]

Buckle up. Let's get into today's episode. Hi there, everybody, and thanks for checking in with. Let's not Talk about the Husband one more time, because here we are.

[Lisa Rinna]

Here we are. Hi, Harry.

[Harry Hamlin]

Hi, Lisa. Bonjour. I should say, bonjour, Sauva. Bien, enjour. Votre chapeau. C'est bien. Yeah. No, I love the very coup. Okay, that's good. You got the accent right. No, I like the hat.

[Lisa Rinna]

I'm feeling very French today.

[Harry Hamlin]

I have never seen this hat before. Today is the first time I ever say, where'd you get it?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, my friends at Ruble R, you know, my.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, really? They make berets, too.

[Lisa Rinna]

Rus Belinsky. I gotta. I gotta learn how to say it. My Ukrainian friends, okay, that make the hats, I butcher their name. And I don't want to. I'll find it. We'll flash on it. Because they make the most fabulous hats. And all the hats I wear pretty much right now are from them because they are so beyond generous. They send me, you know, I go see them in Paris.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, you better get the name because we got to. What you're doing is a kind of commercial for them right now. So if you don't get the name.

[Lisa Rinna]

Right, we'll post it for them, too, you guys. We'll post it for you so you can see it. So let me. I'm going to show it to you so you can pronounce.

[Harry Hamlin]

They're very generous with these people, right? Obviously, they sending you hats all the time.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes. How do you say that?

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, Russia. Baginski begins. Is that what it is? Baginski. Ruslan Baginski.

[Lisa Rinna]

Ruslan Baginski.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay. R, U, S, I, A, N. Which is not. So it could be sort of a Russian, but Rusian. B, A, G, I, N, S, K, I, Y. So they kind of. They doubled the eyes at the end. Baginski. Baginski. Okay. So amazing hats.

[Lisa Rinna]

Amazing hats. You know, they. They do a lot of hats for, like, Madonna. I'm going to name. Name drop.

[Harry Hamlin]

You are definitely name dropping right now.

[Lisa Rinna]

Beyonce. I think Dochi just wore one of their hats. Doja Cat.

[Harry Hamlin]

Like, they do all the biggies.

[Lisa Rinna]

They do, like, sparkly cowboy hats.

[Harry Hamlin]

Has Taylor Swift worn one of their hats yet?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I don't know that exactly.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, yeah, but you dropped some pretty big names there. Those were good. That was a good name dropping session right there.

[Lisa Rinna]

It really was. And you know, I met them right after the war broke out in Ukraine.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

And they are just the sweetest group of people that's. It's a very small business and, you know, everything's made by hand. And I just. I fell in love with this group.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, I love the beret. Is the beret leather?

[Lisa Rinna]

It is leather, Harry. That's so good that you saw that it was leather. I mean, it's a real good one. I have never worn a beret before. This is my first time.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know that because I live with you and I've never seen you wear such a thing. Now, sometimes people take a hat like that and they pull it down so it looks more like a beret. Beret. Yours is up like kind of a cupcake at the moment.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I just put it on that way and I guess you could wear it many different ways, but I liked the cupcake vibe of it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, you know, my dad took to wearing a beret late in his life. Yeah, he. My father was somewhat of an alcoholic.

[Lisa Rinna]

How do you be somewhat of an alcoholic?

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, I mean, he was. He was not like a raging drunk or anything like that, but he just decided to stop drinking when he was in his 60s.

[Lisa Rinna]

So he was an alcoholic.

[Harry Hamlin]

You can make all kinds of definitions about who's an alcoholic and who's not.

[Lisa Rinna]

I think you either are or you aren't.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, I mean, you could draw a line, whatever. So he decided to stop drinking, put it that way. Whether he was an alcoholic or not, he decided to stop drinking. And he got into the program and he met all these really interesting people in the program who, like, he was a rocket scientist. He was not into the arts. He was not into the humanities at all. He was much more of a pragmatist. He was a mathematician. He worked with a slide rule, not a paintbrush. And all of a sudden he had this amazing change in his life. When he went into the program. He met all these artistic people who were also sober. And he started going to art museums and he started to travel around with this group of people and they did very interesting things. And he took to wearing a beret. And the last 10 years of his life, pretty much everywhere he went, he wore a beret around.

[Lisa Rinna]

How sweet is that?

[Harry Hamlin]

And I said, dad, you're wearing a Beret. I said, do you speak French? What's the deal? He said, harry, I only know one phrase in French. I said, oh, really? What is that? He said, it's. And I said, what does that mean? He said, let me say it again. Monqui nebdousir. And it sounded very French to me. And then he finally laughed and he broke into a big smile. He said, what I'm really saying is monkey in a beer barrel up to his ear. But you say that really fast and it sounds French. He said he learned that from some fraternity brothers when he was at the college.

[Lisa Rinna]

So basically, he had the same sense of humor as you have. That's what I'm getting. I never met Harry's dad.

[Harry Hamlin]

I'm not sure he had any sense of humor at all. In fact.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, that's what I'm saying.

[Harry Hamlin]

No, no, that's what I mean. He was a scientist. He was an engineer kind of person. And maybe that's why I went into the humanities also. You know, I was born in 1951. And they say that if you were born before 1955, you were. You were destined for the humanities. Because after 1955. And this is Malcolm Gladwell, who says this in his book Outlier.

[Lisa Rinna]

Shit's going over my head so fast.

[Harry Hamlin]

Wait, wait, let me.

[Lisa Rinna]

Hold on, hold on. Slow down.

[Harry Hamlin]

Malcolm Gladwell, who I think is, you know, I love reading his books. He wrote a book called Outliers. And in that book he talks about, you know, people who were born, let's say, after 1955, like Bill Gates, for.

[Lisa Rinna]

Example, and a lot of people like me myself.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, I mean, but you were born. You were raised in Medford, Oregon, so you might not have had the same opportunities that they had because computers were developed and available to kids in high school who were born after 1955. Sorry. So I was born 1951, which meant that I went all through high school and into my college years without access to a computer.

[Lisa Rinna]

We did not have access to any computers either.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, I mean, it just started to happen, like in the. Around the early 70s, high schools and colleges began to get computers that kids would have access to. And that's how Bill Gates and Steve Jobs and all those people who were born around that time became these big technocrats because they had the availability of computers. Now, I born with only, you know, a library card and some books to.

[Lisa Rinna]

Read and an encyclopedia.

[Harry Hamlin]

An Encyclopedia Britannica, whatever. If you had that, you know, it's like. So we, you know, we were destined for the humanities. Those of us Born in the early 50s and look what happened. You know, here we are in the humanities. However, I would have liked to have had access to a computer because there's a part of my brain that would really like to have been a nuclear physicist.

[Lisa Rinna]

Is it? Is there?

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. I know that because I live with you.

[Harry Hamlin]

Or an astrophysicist.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

I was just reading in the paper this morning about. They've discovered that dark matter may not have the same qualities that they have thought has had for the last 25 years. Because dark matter being an element of the universe, which explains why the universe is expanding at an. At a very fast clip. Anyways, these are the kind of things that kind of get me going in. In the morning.

[Lisa Rinna]

How in the hell are we married? How do we stay together? What in the hell is happening?

[Harry Hamlin]

Anyway, I love the beret. And. And. And. And. Mon ami J Beaucouset.

[Lisa Rinna]

Merci beaucoup.

[Harry Hamlin]

Moving on. Foreign.

[Peyton Sartin]

Hi, everyone. I'm Peyton Sartin, host of the Note to Self podcast. Note to Self is a space to embrace your unique qualities, get grounded, and ultimately have honest conversation. No topic is off limits. I began doing social media seven years ago, and since then I've started a clothing line. And this podcast, Note to Self, is a place where people from every stage of life can come for advice, new perspectives, and to feel a little less alone. Whether I'm recording by myself or bringing along a friend, we will explore topics ranging from relationships and mental wellness to social media and entrepreneurship. Tune in to Note to Self every week for the sisterly advice you didn't know you needed and raw conversations you've always wanted.

[Lisa Rinna]

Speaking of the arts, I need to talk about some television. Some TV shows. Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

Right.

[Lisa Rinna]

I have to talk about it because we are blown away, Totally blown away by this. By this show called Adolescence.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

On Netflix.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Holy.

[Harry Hamlin]

Absolutely amazing work done by the entire. Whoever put this together.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, my.

[Harry Hamlin]

Figured this out.

[Lisa Rinna]

If you guys have not seen this, you've got to run, don't walk. Because let's talk about the premise and how they did it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, how they did it is the amazing thing now in back in the 40s or 50s, I don't know exactly when Alfred Hitchcock made the rope.

[Lisa Rinna]

I'm gonna say 40s, but someone will Google it and say it's probably 30s. I feel like you even 30s, I'm not sure.

[Harry Hamlin]

Was that for the rope?

[Lisa Rinna]

30S or 40s, we'll figure out.

[Harry Hamlin]

When did Hitchcock make the rope? The rope was unique at the time because it was shot from one angle with One camera angle, one room, Correct. Yes. It was shot in an apartment and it was a murder mystery.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, I love the rope.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. And for those of you who've seen the rope but don't know how it was shot, it was shot with all one shot. It's all done in one shot with no cuts, which was extraordinary for the time. And then somebody decided to do this for this Netflix show, Adolescence, and to shoot an entire film, four episode series, from one angle and one angle.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, each show is shot without any takes.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, without any.

[Lisa Rinna]

So one take. A whole hour.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's an hour, hour long take, which you couldn't do back in the day when Hitchcock was making his film. You had a mag of film and you got 12 or 14 minutes worth of film. So they, they knew they would have to cut somewhere because they only had 12 or 14 minutes each for each take. And so what they would do is they would run the camera behind somebody's back on a black suit and the camera would go by and they would cut right in there.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh.

[Harry Hamlin]

So that's how they got those cuts in the, in the rope. But in this one, it's one whole hour without one cut.

[Lisa Rinna]

In this show, it's choreographed so beautifully because you'd have to rehearse that for, I would imagine, hours and hours.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Maybe even you have to rehearse it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Like a play because it wasn't just done in one room like the rope. This was done all over the place. Not only did the camera move, it actually took off and went up in the air.

[Lisa Rinna]

That I can't figure out. It became a drone.

[Harry Hamlin]

It became a drone and came down.

[Lisa Rinna]

Into another scene and then kept going. I mean, you guys, it's like nothing you've ever seen.

[Harry Hamlin]

But also the premise of it, you know, to talk about a kid who is accused of murdering a friend of his in school, he's 13 years old, and how that evolves, how the family deals with it, you know, whether or not he's guilty, innocent. What? I mean, I'm not going to give any spoilers out right now, but I mean, the acting is absolutely perfect.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's flawless and it's flawless.

[Harry Hamlin]

And. And you know, when, when I go on a set and I'm filming something, if I screw up, if I make a, you know, if I fuck up and I go, they say cut, cut. And then we shoot it again. It's done. You just, you know, no worries, mate. But this, this, if somebody, if they got all the way up to like a minute 58 right out of 60 minutes and somebody messes up, they gotta stop and go back and do the whole thing over again.

[Lisa Rinna]

And can you imagine the pressure on the actors to not fuck up? Because, you know, when we're working, if you're doing a scene and you can't get the line right, and then you don't get it right three times, then you're gonna fuck it up again three more. Because then you get in your head.

[Harry Hamlin]

You get that strange monster in your head that says, you're not gonna get this right.

[Lisa Rinna]

You're not gonna get it right. And then everyone's watching you, and you're so panicked, it happens to everyone. And then you just keep fucking up, and you keep fucking up. So imagine if that happened.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, I mean, look, I'm a stage actor, originally a stage actor. And I would go out on stage and on opening night, and I'd always screw up somewhere. I mean, it's. When we did Chicago, I screwed up on opening night, you know, and you gu. And I looked at you guys, I said, help me. And you helped me. And we got through it, right? Because you can get through it. But in this case, you couldn't get through it. If you screwed up on this, you'd have to stop. Everyone would have to go back to square one and start all over again. And I'm sure they had to do that a few times.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I read that the first episode. I think they did it three times.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, really?

[Lisa Rinna]

They went through it three times. Which is really nothing when you see that first episode.

[Harry Hamlin]

So they must have rehearsed that and rehearsed it and gotten it down, because it wasn't just in one room and they were walking outside. One sequence where they run. I mean, they run and it's all in real time. So, you know, it's like 24 and, you know, it starts at the beginning of an hour and it ends an hour later, exactly an hour later in real time on the show.

[Lisa Rinna]

I'm just so blown away by it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Lisa Rinna]

They run and the performances are flawless. And that kid, the kid who plays the kid, he really hadn't acted before.

[Harry Hamlin]

The murder suspect kid. No, he had never done anything before.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, my God.

[Harry Hamlin]

Somehow he hit his emotional pitches perfect all throughout the thing. And imagine the pressure on them, you know, knowing that if they. If they messed up their line and they had to say, oh, I forgot my line, they would have to stop and go back and do the whole thing over again.

[Lisa Rinna]

Just brilliant.

[Harry Hamlin]

I wonder if there were people with cue cards, like, just in case. Off. Off screen. So just in case you're. You're. They were going to maybe mess up. There was always somebody there, but where.

[Lisa Rinna]

Would they put them? You can't put them anywhere. And remember, you couldn't see the camera in any of the windows or.

[Harry Hamlin]

There were no reflections.

[Lisa Rinna]

There was no reflection.

[Harry Hamlin]

They worked on that. They must have worked on it so hard. Brilliant, you know, to get. And the camera kept moving all the time because there were scenes where people.

[Lisa Rinna]

Were just sitting and that moved around.

[Harry Hamlin]

The camera always kept moving. So there was never a moment when you were. Felt you wanted to go, oh, well, that's not very interesting. It's boring or whatever. It kept your attention the entire time. I mean, these guys need to win every award that's ever been created for anything.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's true. And just the message of what the whole entire show is about, it's pretty deep.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. No, I mean.

[Lisa Rinna]

I mean, it's child rearing.

[Harry Hamlin]

How you, you know, whether you raise kids right, whether you raise them wrong. You know how you screw up in child rearing. I mean, after the show, we looked at each other last night and we said, our kids haven't murdered anybody. That's a good thing.

[Lisa Rinna]

So the bar is so low here over at our house, it's like, well, gee, they didn't go to jail. They didn't go to. They didn't murder anyone. Thumbs up, Harry.

[Harry Hamlin]

We did a great job. We did a great job. I know. By the time I was their age, I had already been in jail. I'd been arrested a couple of times. I'd been in deep shit. You know, I'd been kicked out of college. I mean, a whole lot of stuff had happened to me by that time.

[Lisa Rinna]

So no murders? No murders so far in our family.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, almost. My mom, I mean, she almost was murdered.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, well, my mom. But I mean, when she was attacked by the serial killer, you know, I.

[Lisa Rinna]

Wanted to talk about that now that it just popped into my head. Isn't it interesting, you know, if you don't know. My mom, when she was 30 years old, was brutally attacked by a serial killer. We didn't know he was a serial killer at the time, but he turned out to be a serial killer. If you didn't watch the show Housewives. We talk about it. Lois talks about it. What I want to say is I was at Pilates the other day talking to my Pilates teacher, and he trains a big producer. And he said, she is interested and is looking into the story of David Carpenter, the Serial killer. Because no one has done it.

[Harry Hamlin]

No one's done that story. Now, is he. Does he have a name? He's like the.

[Lisa Rinna]

The Hillside Strangler.

[Harry Hamlin]

The Hillside.

[Lisa Rinna]

Hillside Strangler. Strangler. Hillside Strangle.

[Harry Hamlin]

Seems to me like there's been a few.

[Lisa Rinna]

No. Hillside Killer. Hillside Killer.

[Harry Hamlin]

I don't know. He didn't strangle people. He used a hammer to kill people. Right.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, he shot him and killed him, and. I mean, two different sprees on Mount Tamapayas and one somewhere else.

[Harry Hamlin]

But your mother was in the Presidio, right? In San Francisco?

[Lisa Rinna]

She was.

[Harry Hamlin]

Before he went the military base?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes. She was attacked. There were three women. When I was 21, he went to trial for his death penalty phase because he was convicted on two death penalty.

[Harry Hamlin]

So only. Did he only kill two people?

[Lisa Rinna]

No, he killed 25 people.

[Harry Hamlin]

What?

[Lisa Rinna]

He's a massive serial killer.

[Harry Hamlin]

He didn't kill 25. At least. At least 25.

[Lisa Rinna]

And that's what I can't figure out. You get all these other people that they've done all these crime shows that I've watched every single one of. Right.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know. You're addicted.

[Lisa Rinna]

I can't believe they haven't done David Carpenter. Clearly they're probably gonna do it now because it's fascinating. Fascinating. Anyway, my mom was one of three women that escaped. So when they did the. The death penalty phase of the trial, my mom and these two other women had to go. Or they chose to go. I don't think they had to go. They went to testify, so I went to watch, which was.

[Harry Hamlin]

So you actually went to court?

[Lisa Rinna]

Freaky. Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

Was your mother there too?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

Really? She must have been totally freaked out by that.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, yeah, of course. Me directly.

[Harry Hamlin]

He was in the room. Right. He was there.

[Lisa Rinna]

He was there sitting, so she had to look at him. It was really trippy.

[Harry Hamlin]

So tell me this. So she was. I've heard the story a couple of times, but it's vague. She was, like, in a car, and she knew the guy who was giving her a ride.

[Lisa Rinna]

Okay, so she worked with David Carpenter at. Oh, some business.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, so she's a. He was a colleague.

[Lisa Rinna]

He was a colleague.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's amazing.

[Lisa Rinna]

And he stuttered, so she felt sorry for him.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh.

[Lisa Rinna]

But was always nice to him. And so here's the. Here's what happened. She was at the bus stop. She lived in. They lived in San Francisco. She didn't have a car, so she took the bus, and she was going to the dentist in the morning, maybe before work. David Carpenter drives Up and says, hi, Lois, Can I give you a ride? I'd love for you to come see my new baby. He had a baby? He was married.

[Harry Hamlin]

Was he married with the baby and killing people on the side, that was his side gig.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, no one fucking knew it yet. So imagine this is your co worker that you feel sorry for. So she was like, no, I'm okay. I'm gonna take the bus and I'm gonna just go to the dentist. He's like, no, no, no, no, please. Would love for you to come see the new baby. Anyway, yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

So they drove on to the Presidio, right? Which is. I've been to the Presidio. It's a huge stretch of land. It's a military base.

[Lisa Rinna]

Military base, yeah. So they start driving, and all of a sudden she's starting to feel weird, of course. Because it didn't feel right. And all of a sudden he's talking to her and he's not stuttering. That's when she knew.

[Harry Hamlin]

Really?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. You don't know this part of the story?

[Harry Hamlin]

No, I didn't. Not have.

[Lisa Rinna]

See how we learned.

[Harry Hamlin]

No knowledge of the stuttering part.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, yeah. No. He stopped and she said, david, what's going on? He said, I don't know, Lois. Sometimes something funny comes over me. And she knew. She was fucking cooked.

[Harry Hamlin]

I haven't heard this.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's true. True story. I'll tell you. And so I was like, why didn't you get out of the car? Why didn't you, like, just open the car and roll out? And she's like, oh, you just don't know what to do in those moments, you know? Like.

[Harry Hamlin]

So she kind of knew that something was up. Oh, really?

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, for sure. Oh, she knew. He was like, lois, something comes over me. I can't help it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, and he hit it with a hammer, didn't he?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, yes. So he go. They go down. They drive down this deserted road in the Presidia, which is this. Is it an old military base? I don't even remember.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's. Yeah, it's working, but I think. I don't know. But I haven't been there in 30 or 40 years. But, yeah, it was. It was.

[Lisa Rinna]

So they drive down this road, and you know he's gonna go rape her and kill her, probably. Most likely, that's his.

[Harry Hamlin]

Did he rape his victims, too? Is that.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, but he did not rape her. But he did rape his victims.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, but. But he was. He would have been raping a dead body if. If he. Well, you know.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, I think they rape him.

[Harry Hamlin]

There wasn't a necrophilia.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I don't know that part. Oh, I don't know, but I don't think so because the two women that testified with my mom both escaped, but they were both raped, I believe. I think if I'm telling the story correctly, one of them was.

[Harry Hamlin]

Wow.

[Lisa Rinna]

Anyway, only three women escaped. So anyway, my mom, they drive down this deserted road. Now the saving grace is a military, an mp, a military policeman sees them drive down this deserted road and knows nobody should be driving down there. So he follows them.

[Harry Hamlin]

Lucky for her.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, yeah. So David Carpenter stops the car. He straddles my mom, my mom's in the passenger seat. He grabs a knife out of the glove box. All of a sudden he goes at her with the knife. She grabs it with her hand, so the knife's coming at you and she grabs it. So she slices the two, her two fingers so they're like dangling at this point. And then he hears a car coming. He hears the car.

[Harry Hamlin]

The MP. No, he hears the MP.

[Lisa Rinna]

The MPs coming? Yeah, he hears it because they're in this deserted area. He hears the car, turns around, sees the MP coming.

[Harry Hamlin]

Is it night?

[Lisa Rinna]

It's morning.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's morning. That's right.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's like I think 11ish.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's daylight.

[Lisa Rinna]

So he reaches in the back of the car and grabs a hammer and starts bashing her on the head with a hammer.

[Harry Hamlin]

More than likely because she was resisting.

[Lisa Rinna]

Him so much and probably to kill her while the.

[Harry Hamlin]

Before the coming.

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't know. I mean, who knows what goes through your head if you're.

[Harry Hamlin]

So did she escape or what happened?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, then the guy comes, the military policeman comes. David Carpenter gets out of the car. The military policeman shoots David Carpenter in the stomach. What?

[Harry Hamlin]

Yes. So he know, the police guy knows what's going on?

[Lisa Rinna]

I guess. I mean, he shoots.

[Harry Hamlin]

This is all new information for me. I never heard about the shooting.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, he shoots him in the stomach and then my mom. Okay, so my mom, this is the funniest. Not funniest, the creepiest, weirdest part of it all. She's in full on shock. He's hit her at least five times on the head with a hammer. Her fingers are dangling. She gets out, her purse spills out. She opens the car door, somehow her purse spills out. And she's so busy picking up the items to put back in her purse, her head is like gushing blood. She's totally in shock, but all she wants to do is put her things back into her purse. So then they want to try to get her, I guess, to the hospital quickly. He's been shot. They try to put her in the police car with David Carpenter, and she freaks out.

[Harry Hamlin]

I mean, he's been shot and he's in a police car.

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't know where there's. If there's. Where. Why there's not an ambulance. They're going to put him in a police car. And she flips out. She's like, screaming, I won't go in the car with him. So the next thing I think, she ends up at the hospital. She ends up three months in the hospital.

[Harry Hamlin]

And this is. This is your dad and she were just going out at that time.

[Lisa Rinna]

Six weeks. They'd only been dating for six weeks.

[Harry Hamlin]

And he kind of nurtured her back to health. Is that how they got together?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, after that happening, they got married, like, you know, a couple months later. And, yeah, they got together through a trauma bond. Crazy.

[Harry Hamlin]

So Carpenter was then taken to the hospital and then taken to prison or whatever, and then.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

So then he got out and killed more people later?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes, he was convicted. Plea deal for six years.

[Harry Hamlin]

So he went to jail for six years.

[Lisa Rinna]

Went to jail for six years. When he got out is when he did all the serial killing and all the crazy stuff. He hadn't even done that yet.

[Harry Hamlin]

No. Really?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

So is there a. A kid out there, a Carpenter kid? If he had a new baby back then, there'd be a Carpenter kid who'd be in his, like, 50s or 60s.

[Lisa Rinna]

Now, I would imagine. And he's, you know, he's San Quentin death row. Two death row sentences. Two.

[Harry Hamlin]

So how long he's still alive?

[Lisa Rinna]

He must be almost 90.

[Harry Hamlin]

And he's still alive. Death row. So he'll never die in the gas chamber, whatever they do.

[Lisa Rinna]

Probably not, but I still can't believe that no one has done his story. I think it's fascinating.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, that sounds to me like maybe they're gonna do it now.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I think at least a TV show. There is something on. Somebody told me on Very Scary People. It's called On I D and Donnie Wahlberg is the host. And they do, like, two episodes on here.

[Harry Hamlin]

Ryan. I've heard about that show. That's good. Okay. So that would be a good place to start.

[Lisa Rinna]

I just haven't been able to bring myself to watch it yet, you know, Like, I know it's there. I know I could go watch it, but haven't yet.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, that's. That's.

[Lisa Rinna]

But if you guys want to check out more about my mom's story, and it's very scary, people. Johnny Wahlberg ID So did your mom.

[Harry Hamlin]

Have, like, plates in her head?

[Lisa Rinna]

She had metal plates in her head.

[Harry Hamlin]

Really?

[Lisa Rinna]

So when we were growing up, she didn't tell us. She didn't tell me this until I was 18. I knew that my mom could not smell anything. She had no sense of smell, and she had metal plates in her head. Mom, how did you get the metal plates in her head? She told me that a boy down the street when they were growing up had hit her over the head. I don't know.

[Harry Hamlin]

She made up a story she didn't want to tell you.

[Lisa Rinna]

She made up a story.

[Harry Hamlin]

Is that to keep you from being also traumatized?

[Lisa Rinna]

Probably.

[Harry Hamlin]

But, you know, there's that whole thing, this theory about women who've. Or people who've been traumatized, particularly women, you know, that then they have a baby after they've been traumatized and that the trauma can be passed through the womb into. Yeah. So is this why you're so freaked out by, like.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, I thought you were saying, is this why you're so fucked up?

[Harry Hamlin]

What? No.

[Lisa Rinna]

But.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, you get freaked out if the, you know, if you don't know where the kids are, you don't know where the dog is. I mean, if you don't. Look, our house is completely fenced. Everybody fenced all the way around. You know, you can't get in, you can't get out, the dog can't leave. But if the dog is missing for 10 minutes, you flip out.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, remember when the kids were missing? Remember when Delilah went down the hill at 13? That's. See, that's when my trauma kicks in. We couldn't find.

[Harry Hamlin]

Delilah snuck out of the house.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I didn't know about that. That's the one we knew about. She snuck out of the house at night. I didn't know about that. This was during the day. She walked down the hill to the park or down.

[Harry Hamlin]

Was she having some kind of a fight or a moment?

[Lisa Rinna]

No, she just wanted. She was 13 and she just wanted her freedom.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh.

[Lisa Rinna]

And never. I was flipping out. So I have definite trauma from birth through all of it. Absolutely, yeah. Oh, I am so fucked up when it comes to.

[Harry Hamlin]

If anybody ever does a study about whether or not that kind of trauma can be passed through the womb to another generation. You're one of the guinea pigs for that, right? Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

Awfully cute guinea pig, too.

[Lisa Rinna]

And very French looking today. I think that, you know, growing up not knowing. But it was always. She was very overprotective obviously of me. And I couldn't really figure it out. I just thought moms were like that, you know. There was a lot of fear. The doors always had to be locked. I grew up in a very fear based environment. So when you see me in these situations, that's where it comes from. I can't help it. I remember we had a bell on our front door and my dad had drilled a hole and you put like a steel, you know. My dad was very handy and he used to make things. So the door had a bell, a lock, but then a drilled hole and you put a bolt in it. And we lived in fucking Medford, Oregon, where no one you could leave, there's.

[Harry Hamlin]

No crime at all.

[Lisa Rinna]

You could leave your door wide open. And so that always, it was always like it was Fort Knox. And so that's how I grew up. And so I don't know any different bell on the door. So if anybody came in, you'd hear it.

[Harry Hamlin]

Wow. Yeah. Well, congratulations on making it as far as you've made it.

[Lisa Rinna]

Truly, right? I mean it's truly amazing when you think about how fucked up I am. And I haven't been arrested, I didn't kill anybody, I didn't become a drug addict. I mean there's a lot of things that I could have become. Also what's pretty miraculous and I also think it's because of this. I have never been, you know, sexually assaulted or attacked or any of that. I am one of the luckiest women.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's true. There's a statistic like one in three women are attacked or sexually abused somehow. Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

And I think that because of the way my mom raised me, no one would have ever even come near me. The way the energy that I must put out there that saved me from, from being attacked by.

[Harry Hamlin]

I got through that energy. Somehow I was able to get through your veil of comfort or your truly.

[Lisa Rinna]

I got you. I don't trust anybody. You know what I mean? I don't trust anybody. How would I? But I think it has saved me in my own getting in my own situation that way. I never had to go through that. And I'm one of the very few, I think.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, yeah, and going back to the TV show that we saw last night, I mean the whole idea of, you know, did you screw up? Did you up raising your kids? Did you, did you raise them? I mean, is it possible to do, to raise kids? Well, I mean look, we look at our kids. I don't know. You know, our kids are on fire right now. They. They seem to be doing great. They haven't, like, stepped in it yet.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, I mean, they've had their moments, sure.

[Harry Hamlin]

I mean, yeah, when you're. Everyone late teens and your early 20s, everybody experiments, they've all gone through that or whatever, but somehow they've gotten through it.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

And they seem to be pretty well grounded at this point, you know, So I guess, you know, we deserve a little pat on the back.

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't know.

[Harry Hamlin]

Haven't killed anybody yet, and they're not in jail.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well.

[Harry Hamlin]

And somehow I haven't killed anybody, but I was in jail, and somehow I'm still here. I mean, you know, that's how that happened.

[Lisa Rinna]

You should knock on wood, too. But. Yeah, it's a pretty freaky story, isn't it? I mean, it's really, you know, it's real life that you never think.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know, I know. It's like you're gonna experience. Very creepy.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. I mean, I've gotten a lot of great things from it also, though, I think, you know, my mom was such a survivor. You know, she was one of the most positive people, and she always looked on the bright side, and she could have been the most miserable, dark, sad human being. Think about it.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's very true with her experiences. She could have been bitter and dark. And then late in her life, she had a stroke. And the stroke took away the part of her brain that was judgmental.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes. And fearful.

[Harry Hamlin]

And fearful. And so all of a sudden, she had this rebirth when she was in her 70s. I know, 80s, or in her 80s, even later. And all of a sudden. And she would say, you know, I had this stroke, and really, it changed my life for the better. And she would say, you know, because I'm not. She wasn't angry anymore. She didn't seem to be upset and annoyed by things, you know, I mean.

[Lisa Rinna]

She never really was. You know, my mom was so even keel and so, you know, happy and never had therapy. Imagine going through that.

[Harry Hamlin]

She never had therapy.

[Lisa Rinna]

One time, they sent her to therapy.

[Harry Hamlin]

What do you mean, for one hour? She had one hour.

[Lisa Rinna]

She went once, she said, and they gave her a bottle of Seconal. And she said, it just made me too sleepy. I just couldn't take it. It just put me asleep.

[Harry Hamlin]

It's a sleeping pill.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's a fucking sleeping pill.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know. Second all is a sleeping pill. And if you take a hundred of them, it's over. It's cursed.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's over. You know, we Know that. So my mom never had therapy. Lived with this just shoved under the carpet. I mean, the fact that I'm not more fucked up than I am, I mean, we all know I'm fucked up. That's been proven.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, it's. It's fucked up is relatively.

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, but it's proven. I know that.

[Harry Hamlin]

But imagine there's a lot of people much more fucked up.

[Lisa Rinna]

I know, but come on, like, please. We all know I'm up. But, you know, it works for a lot of things. Yeah, but imagine if she had had therapy or, you know, they didn't do it back then. They just didn't go to therapy. Like, that wasn't.

[Harry Hamlin]

There was a stigma about it if you went to therapy. Well, for example, I mean, somebody who's running for president can't. Can ever say they were in therapy, because if you were in therapy, that means you got to be crazy, right? And no one, you know, so. But I can think of some presidents who could have used some therapy or could right now use some therapy anyway.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, for sure. So. Yeah. I mean, truly, she is such a survivor and taught me so much about, you know, overcoming adversity without teaching me overcoming adversity. She was a walking billboard for overcoming adversity.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's true. And our. Our kids loved her so much. And she was beloved by the audience from. From Real Housewives.

[Lisa Rinna]

They loved her.

[Harry Hamlin]

You know, she had such a sense of joy and empathy, you know that. And she would dance and all of that. No, she was quite something.

[Lisa Rinna]

Loved her. So anytime we can talk about her is always so wonderful.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, when we're watching TV and the hummingbirds come up to our window, we.

[Lisa Rinna]

Have to tell this story. Okay. You guys always know that I associate birds with Lois's passing. And I always think Lois is a hummingbird. At this point, she comes to me as a hummingbird. And we have this window at our bedroom. In our bedroom. And she comes to the window, like.

[Harry Hamlin]

Out of the blue, she comes and hangs out at the window.

[Lisa Rinna]

And what do I do? I say, hi, Mom.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know.

[Lisa Rinna]

Hi, Mom.

[Harry Hamlin]

And she's there every time. She comes every day.

[Lisa Rinna]

It's just. It's miraculous. Not every single day. Like, sometimes I won't see her for a couple weeks, and then all of a sudden, she'll pop up.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, she was getting lonely. She wanted to visit us, so there you go.

[Lisa Rinna]

Anyway, we could do a whole thing on that. We almost did.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. And at some point, we need to talk about your dad, too. And, you know, because the second all thing Brought that up.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

How in Oregon, you're, you know, it's. You're permitted to check out when you want to check out. And he was 94, and he was not. His quality of life had diminished to the point where he wanted to, you know, transition.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

And you can do that in Oregon if you follow the right guidelines and the protocols and talk to the right number of doctors.

[Lisa Rinna]

Two doctors that sign off on your terminal illness, so to speak.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, life is terminal, so, I mean, that's. At the end of your life. You could say that. But he. He went through all the different protocols. Right. And had two doctors sign off and it had to wait six months or something like that.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, it was about six, three to six months. They passed the bill in Oregon to make it legal to have assisted suicide. I never told this story at the time. I think it was too. You know, I was on the show and it was just too. Maybe I hadn't. Yeah, no, I had. I had started the show, and I think it was just too painful at the time.

[Harry Hamlin]

I don't know that we need to go into it in detail today. We need to figure to talk about it at some point, maybe to do a whole show on that whole. The whole life cycle, end of life thing that. Because, look, I'm. We're all getting to the point where, you know, we put our parents. Many, many years ago, I put my parents into assisted living, and then they transitioned and, you know, hey, I mean, life goes on. Time marches on. The leaves that are green, they turn to brown. So, I mean, at some point we're going to be facing the same issues, and it might be an interesting show to talk about that, you know, to get into that.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, it was a trippy, trippy, trippy, trippy thing. Almost so surreal that it didn't. I didn't feel like I was in my body.

[Harry Hamlin]

Because you went and you participated in it.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, so it's like a hospice situation, and they bring a hospice nurse who ended up being my mom's hospice nurse also. You knew that.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, that's right.

[Lisa Rinna]

She was the same nurse for my mom as for my dad.

[Harry Hamlin]

And she was kind of like a death doula in a way, too, wasn't it?

[Lisa Rinna]

I think that's what they call them.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, yeah. She helped with the transition and all of that. Amazing. And, yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

So, I mean, we might as well. We're talking about it. We might as well just. Just tell the story, because if anyone's going through this right now, you know, yeah, for sure it could help. My sister was there. You know, I have a sister, Nancy, who is 12 years older. We didn't grow up together. Half sister that lived with her mom. She came to live with us for one year when she was 18. I was 6. So I really never had, you know, a sisterly relationship with her because I was. I grew up an only child. But as my.

[Harry Hamlin]

She was your dad's daughter.

[Lisa Rinna]

Daughter.

[Harry Hamlin]

So your mom married your dad after she was born. So she's a step.

[Lisa Rinna]

She was three, maybe.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay, I get it.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. So step. Step sister. Half.

[Harry Hamlin]

Half sister, half sister. She was a stepdaughter to your mother.

[Lisa Rinna]

Mom.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay. I, I never get those.

[Lisa Rinna]

So at the time, at 18, she came to live with us and, you know, my mom thought it would be the right thing to do to take her in and, you know, she like smoking in the bathroom and I would see her smoking in the bathroom and I'd go tell on her. And it was just.

[Harry Hamlin]

We.

[Lisa Rinna]

We laugh about that.

[Harry Hamlin]

Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

So we never really lived together, but at the time that my father was transitioning and he was ready to go, got the sign off. You have to order the second all pills. That's what they use. And you have to. The. The person that's dying has to be able to pick up the juice or whatever to drink it themselves.

[Harry Hamlin]

They.

[Lisa Rinna]

You can't administer it to somebody.

[Harry Hamlin]

They've got to be able to do it themselves. It has to be a willful act on their part.

[Lisa Rinna]

Correct.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

So picture this in. In the apartment, the little assisted living apartment my sister and I. Oh. The pills were supposed to come like on a Tuesday. So, you know, when they set their mind to this, they're ready. So they didn't come till Thursday. And my dad was so mad that the pills didn't come.

[Harry Hamlin]

He was just so anxious to go.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yes.

[Harry Hamlin]

Really? Well, I know he was. He was not comfortable. I know the last time I saw him, he was very uncomfortable, really unhappy.

[Lisa Rinna]

And anyway, so, you know, you just. You're in this surreal position because you want to. You want to do and support your loved ones. You want to support what they want to do, but, you know, you're going to watch your parent kill themselves.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, that's a pretty major moment. Yeah. Yeah. You want to support your parents and everything they do. Oh, yeah. I want to commit suicide. Suicide. Can you support me? Oh, please.

[Lisa Rinna]

So, I mean, that's it. That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. But he wanted it so badly. My mom signed off on it. We were like, okay, I heard.

[Harry Hamlin]

Did I heard a story that you, you were in the kitchen with Nancy. You were mixing up the second all. And he was saying like, what's taking so long from the bedroom or something?

[Lisa Rinna]

You know, life, never life in all aspects in a family, it doesn't change no matter what you're doing. You know what I mean? So, like we are sitting at this counter, this table has two stools opening up. Red. Second all pills.

[Harry Hamlin]

They used to call them reds. I mean, they were called reds. And that's. Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

So my sister and I, we have, you know, those little there. It's like a little white casserole cup.

[Harry Hamlin]

They look like there's a name for it.

[Lisa Rinna]

I forget what are the. Whatever those are. We have a little one. Yeah, she's sitting across from me on this round table. We're on stools. We're just sitting there opening up a fucking hundred second all capsules in this casserole bowl. Okay.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

And then you go in there and, you know, we set it up really nicely. And we had Frank Sinatra playing and the Duel.

[Harry Hamlin]

Dad loved Frank Sinatra.

[Lisa Rinna]

The light was coming in. It was like 2:00 in the afternoon. The light was coming in. So there was. There's a lot of real beauty behind it. And we were playing some beautiful, like also some, some yoga type beautiful music. But then, you know, you, you mix it, you mix it in the orange juice. It tastes like shit. Like it's sour, you know, but he's gotta drink it down. So you hand it to him and he drank it and you know, here's the thing that nobody tells you and you don't expect. It doesn't happen right away. It took 45 minutes.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, that's kind of right away, but I mean.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, it's not. If you think about sitting with somebody who's passing and transitioning for 45 minutes, I mean, at one point it's so surreal that I, I looked over and I said to the, the doula, because my sister and I were looking at each other like, oh my God. Like, they just go to sleep, by the way. So it's not anything gruesome. They just fall asleep. And so I'm looking at the doula and I'm like, well, what happens, like if he. If nothing happens, she goes, don't worry, I have morphine. So if we need to use it, like these are the conversations that you're having. It's just so stupid.

[Harry Hamlin]

You didn't need to do it. Go there, right? No, no, I wonder why you look at, you know, the death row people and, and, and how they kill them. And that was a very civilized way to go. He just went to sleep. Why can't they just do that with death? Why do they have to put a poison in them that makes them like, I don't know, burn in hell before they die?

[Lisa Rinna]

It was very peaceful. I mean, it was a very humane way to go. And in that aspect, it didn't feel awful, but it felt awful. Like it's just a.

[Harry Hamlin]

How much do you miss him, your dad?

[Lisa Rinna]

I miss them a lot. I miss him. I do. You always miss your.

[Harry Hamlin]

We had a great time with them whenever we visited them, whenever we went up for vacations or whatever, for Christmas, and we always had a wonderful time. It was such a great and loving couple. So you were very lucky to have them as parents. You really were. Because you look at all the dysfunctional parenting and families out there. I mean, you hear about it all the time. People like, you know, whose parents abused them and whip them and like in the. Even in the show we were watching yesterday, this great, this great show, Adolescence, the father talks about how he was beaten by his father and how he never beat his kids. And, you know, and I was. It was just de rigueur. That's what you did. You know, parents beat their kids.

[Lisa Rinna]

Hit by the belt.

[Harry Hamlin]

I got belted. Yeah.

[Lisa Rinna]

Did you?

[Harry Hamlin]

That was what they would say, take your belt off, take your belt.

[Lisa Rinna]

And they would hit you with the.

[Harry Hamlin]

Belt, take your pants down, bend over. And it had to be my own belt. Well, I'll never forget the last time my mother tried it. I was probably 12 or 13 at this point.

[Lisa Rinna]

Oh, no, no.

[Harry Hamlin]

And she says, okay, down with your pants, off with your belt. You know, And I went, I took my pants down, I took my belt off. And then I went, you know what, Fuck this. And I got up on the bed and she started trying to whack me with the belt and I ran around the room and I, I got away from her and I said, you will never ever do that to me again. And she never did.

[Lisa Rinna]

I'm sure she didn't. But that, There you go. You're like 13. That was that. The adolescent boys. Thirteen.

[Harry Hamlin]

That's right. You know, I said, enough is enough. I'm not going down that road anymore.

[Lisa Rinna]

See, I was very lucky. I did not ever. I think maybe I got slapped once or twice. I might have gotten a spanking and maybe a little slap, but I remember one time I tortured my mom so much when I was a teenager. I had a car. So I was 16. I had done something and she wanted my keys. I had my keys in my hand. I was gonna leave. And she chased me around the kitchen table to try to get my car keys.

[Harry Hamlin]

Where were you going?

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't know. I was just going.

[Harry Hamlin]

Bad place. I'm going out to drink or something like that.

[Lisa Rinna]

Going out. I was leaving. I was running away. I don't know what I was doing.

[Harry Hamlin]

Now. Didn't you have like a Corvair or something like that was your car that you had, Was it?

[Lisa Rinna]

Well, yes, I had a Corvair. You guys will have to Google it because you're all too to know what it is.

[Harry Hamlin]

50S or 60s, that car probably very distinctive looking car. And wasn't it orange? Like school bus orange?

[Lisa Rinna]

School bus yellow. Orange, yeah. Because my dad was very big on Earl. Earl shy painting.

[Harry Hamlin]

My father too. Like, we always bought used cars. And he'd say. I'd say, dad, well, there's a scratches on the. He says, son, don't worry, I'm taking it to earl shy 100 bucks.

[Lisa Rinna]

99 bucks. Well, it used to be black. And black would have been really cool, but my dad then painted it this orange color. And so imagine me driving that. I was fucking humiliated to drive that car.

[Harry Hamlin]

But you had wheels. I mean, did all your friends have cars too?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, they did.

[Harry Hamlin]

Now that's the thing about teenagers in cars, because I don't know what it was like when you were growing up, but you know, you had to. Your car had to be cool when our kids were growing up.

[Lisa Rinna]

It had to be cool when I was growing up too. And it was traumatic. And that made me go to work. I got a job so that I could buy myself a VW Bug.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, that was cooler.

[Lisa Rinna]

I bought myself a red VW Bunk.

[Harry Hamlin]

Was it used or new?

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah, it was used.

[Harry Hamlin]

Used. Yeah. Okay.

[Lisa Rinna]

And I was like, how now you.

[Harry Hamlin]

Had a red Isuzu Trooper when I met you. Did you like red cars?

[Lisa Rinna]

I guess. I don't know. I would never buy a red car today. Every car I've had since then, I think has been black. Yeah, I. I had two red cars. Yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

Huh. I've never had anything but a black car, you know, nothing. I bought a silver car. Silver.

[Lisa Rinna]

And we had a silver car and we had a white van. Okay, wait. This story is one of my favorites. See, we can just talk for hours. White minivan.

[Harry Hamlin]

We did have a white minivan with.

[Lisa Rinna]

Gold interior or like tan interior. This is really good. The kids are Maybe one and four.

[Harry Hamlin]

We got it really used.

[Lisa Rinna]

Really gross. We had no money at that moment. Used white Chrysler minivan. We drive down to the gas station, down at the bottom of the hill, get out to. I mean, it's really. It's not a great look. It's not a great look.

[Harry Hamlin]

And I think I can remember how it smelled on the inside of this car. Cause it was used.

[Lisa Rinna]

It was gross.

[Harry Hamlin]

It was really used when you bought.

[Lisa Rinna]

It, but saved us. Cause it's got everybody in the car, whatever the van. So we drive down this gas station, and there is a red Ferrari with a girl in, like a bikini top. A blonde getting her doing her gas. It's Nicolette.

[Harry Hamlin]

We were in a white minivan with the kids in car seats in the back. And we're next to Nicolette in her Ferrari. Well, that's the two different lifestyles.

[Lisa Rinna]

Ferrari with her bikini.

[Harry Hamlin]

Was I with you?

[Lisa Rinna]

Was I there? I don't remember if you were there. I don't think you were there. I think it was me, the nanny and the kids. Yeah. That was a moment I'll never forget. It was so funny.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. Well, look at us now. Our kids are supermodels and superstars and. Yeah, I mean. And they're driving whatever they want.

[Lisa Rinna]

That white minivan. Oh, my God. We used to drive around. We'd put the kids in the car.

[Harry Hamlin]

It was the only way the kids would go to sleep was to put them in the car seat. And then you'd have to drive around for about an hour before they'd go to sleep.

[Lisa Rinna]

I did so many things that fucked them up. You know, you have to just put them in their crib. But I started like. You know, my friends were like, rolling them in the stroller. You gotta move them around. So we started doing that. And then they would never go to sleep unless you moved them around.

[Harry Hamlin]

Until we Ferberized them. You know, that's another thing. Ferberizing. I don't know if they still do that. Is that still a thing?

[Lisa Rinna]

I don't know. The kids are old now. I don't. I mean, they're different.

[Harry Hamlin]

To Ferberize was. That's when you had to leave your kids alone, let them cry. Cry themselves asleep for three days. Because, you know, they're so used to you putting them to bed and being in the room when they go to sleep. And then Dr. Ferber comes out and says, no, no. The only way to give kids a great life is to Ferberize them. Which means leave them alone. And I'll never Forget the first night that we did it. We closed the door and Delilah was screaming. Screaming bloody murder, the top of lungs. We were outside the room on the floor. We were grabbing each other, and I was saying, don't go in. Don't go in. And you were saying, I got to go in. I got to go in. No, don't go in. Because I don't know whether we fucked him up forever with. By Ferberizing them. Because we have some friends who had their kids sleep with them in their bed until they were teenagers.

[Lisa Rinna]

I was not having that.

[Harry Hamlin]

No. They had their own separate room from the time they were born.

[Lisa Rinna]

No, but Amelia came and slept on the couch a lot. That couch we had. Oh, yeah.

[Harry Hamlin]

Oh, she would come in the middle of the night.

[Lisa Rinna]

In the middle of the night and slept on the couch constantly.

[Harry Hamlin]

Well, look, I think Ferberizing was. If you look at them now, you look at how they're gallivanting around the world on their own, you know, being super, like responsible adults in their early 20s.

[Lisa Rinna]

We did something right along the way.

[Harry Hamlin]

Tremendous amounts of dough, I'd say. Yeah, I think the Ferberizing worked.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. You had to do that.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. They're very independent.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. Should we do a game or some questions? We had so much to talk about today. We didn't even do our questions. We were into a whole bunch of questions. But this is what happens. We sit here and we start to talk and it's like, who knew?

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah, absolutely. So what an interesting conversation.

[Lisa Rinna]

I know it got heavier than I would have imagined.

[Harry Hamlin]

I know it got heavy.

[Lisa Rinna]

But it's real. I mean, all of it.

[Harry Hamlin]

What you got to do is watch this show too. It's on Netflix and it's called Adolescence.

[Lisa Rinna]

Adolescence. Yeah. We'll have to put this out sooner than later because you got to watch that right away.

[Harry Hamlin]

Yeah. Anyway, thanks for watching and listening, everybody, to let's not talk about the husband who happens to be here.

[Lisa Rinna]

Woo. Thanks for listening to our show. You can catch new episodes every Friday.

[Harry Hamlin]

And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss anything.

[Lisa Rinna]

Yeah. And if you liked what you heard.

[Harry Hamlin]

Consider leaving us a rating or review. And make sure to tell all your friends too. I mean, like, everyone you know and their mother.

[Lisa Rinna]

If you have a question for us or you need advice, God help you. Leave a voicemail using the link in our show notes. We might just answer your question in a future episode. Now you can find us on social media, Lisarina on Instagram, and then I'm sirinnaofficial on TikTok, and I'm aryrhamlin on Instagram. That's right.

[Harry Hamlin]

So see you next week.

[Lisa Rinna]

Until then, let's not talk about the husband. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.