Podcast Episode Summary

Let’s Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa
Guest: Heather Gay (Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star, author of Bad Mormon & Good Time Girl) Episode: "Heather Gay: RHOSLC + Surviving Mormonism" (Re-Release)
Release Date: January 14, 2026

Episode Overview

In this lively and revealing episode, Kelly Ripa sits down with Heather Gay, breakout star of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (RHOSLC) and author of Bad Mormon and Good Time Girl. The conversation covers Heather’s departure from the Mormon church, how fame and independence changed her path, the taboos and rituals of Mormonism, the nuances of housewife relationships, and her personal journey from devoted mother to an empty-nester ready for love. The tone is candid, humorous, self-reflective, and unfiltered, as Kelly and her team probe taboo topics, “cultish” religion, Bravo scandals, and what it means to reinvent oneself publicly.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Surviving Mormonism & Writing "Bad Mormon"

• Leaving the Church & Breaking Taboos

  • Heather describes the deeply secretive and ritualistic nature of the Mormon temple, disclosing garment customs, secret handshakes, and vows of silence about temple ceremonies.
  • "We make vows in the temple that will never reveal any of it or will basically disembowel and cut our throats." (Heather Gay, 12:22)
  • Fame, financial independence, and her father's passing empowered her to tell her story:

    “Fame, mostly. Fame and independent income... [and] my dad also passed away, and that kind of opened up a different... just a different... you don't have the fear of disappointing your parents once they've passed away.” (Heather Gay & Kelly Ripa, 12:09-12:17)

• Cult, Zealotry, and Secrecy

  • Heather now admits she sees the Mormon church as “cult-like,” especially after leaving. She details extreme obedience, hierarchical control, and insularity.
  • "If you want to call us a church, then we are religious zealots... We wear all of our devotion on the inside." (Heather Gay, 15:07-15:54)

• Social Ostracism

  • After leaving, she’s shunned by some but faces kindness in person:
    • “To my face, they are kind and wonderful, and then... I’m not invited over for Sunday dinner. But they won’t read the book. They won’t watch the show. They won’t acknowledge anything that’s any value that I’ve, like, garnered from being on TV or from writing the books... That holds no currency where I live.” (Heather Gay, 17:19-17:41)

Inside Mormon Rituals & Culture

• Temple Attire and Ceremony

  • Temple garments described as full white outfits, with green fig-leaf aprons, veils, paper hats, and secret group rituals. The secrecy is enforced with dire oaths.
    • “We wear head to toe white, but then we wear a stark Kelly green fig leaf apron over our loins and we veil our faces... and everyone's dressed head to toe in white... We do secret handshakes, we do tokens, we do secret rites of passage...” (Heather Gay, 13:26-14:08)

• Soaking & Chastity Loopholes

  • Heather breaks down the infamous Mormon practice of “soaking”:
    • “Soaking would be if the penis were a sponge and the vagina were a bowl of water. You just place it in and no motion, no movement. It’s insertion with no movement, no thrusting, just soaking.” (Heather Gay, 19:28)
  • “Jump-pumping”—having a third person create bed motion—debunked as an urban legend at BYU, due to fear of being tattled on.

• Soft Swinging

  • Common among Mormon couples, especially as they age and seek excitement without officially breaching religious codes.
    • “They want to see what’s out there, but they don’t want to leave their marriages... They dabble, they dip their toes in. And I think it’s a way to maintain, you know, both worlds.” (Heather Gay, 24:58)

The Business of Mormonism

• Church Wealth & Social Scene
  • RHOSLC reflects the financial affluence and ambition within Mormon culture.
  • Heather: “The church is worth $260 billion. Like, they'd never — that's, it’s, it’s a huge, huge institution.” (Heather Gay, 18:48)

Becoming a Housewife & Reality TV Fame

• Casting & Family Fallout

  • Heather was scouted via Lisa Barlow and was initially only a “facilitator.” She kept her participation secret from family and church until it was too late to back out.
    • “Zero conversation... I did not tell a single soul until it was set in stone. And then I told my bishop, and he told me not to do it. And if I did... to make sure... if I was at any public event that I carried around a glass of milk so that no one would think that I was drinking. Meanwhile, I was already drinking.” (Heather Gay, 28:04-28:44)
  • Realized she couldn’t hide the truth from a TV audience:
    • “I knew that I could pull the wool over the church’s eyes... but... you cannot fake it with the viewing audience.” (Heather Gay, 31:13)

• Sacred Garments & Housewife Fashion

  • Required Mormon garments are described as constrictive, but most castmates secretly don’t wear them, highlighting the performative side of “righteousness”.
    • “You can’t call yourself a Mormon wife if you’re not wearing your garments, right?” (Heather Gay, 31:53)

Dishy Bravo Topics: Cast Dynamics

• Jen Shah & Excommunication

  • Declines to discuss ("pass"); no contact since Jen Shah's prison sentence began; not worried about a future run-in. (35:16-36:10)
  • The infamous “black eye” incident was as confusing to Heather as to viewers—she didn’t cover for Jen, just didn’t know what happened and was protecting herself and Jen.

• Monica Garcia, Moles, and Betrayal

  • Shocked anyone (e.g., Whitney) would stay in touch with Monica after it was revealed Monica was a “mole” (a fake friend for the show).
    • “There was no world that she would have been in our world and been our friend. And how are we supposed to process friendship with someone that was never our friend to begin with?” (Heather Gay, 38:14)

• On Bronwyn, Conflict & Friendship

  • A rough start, but now in a much better place:
    • “I really love these women. I love fighting with them, but I love getting along more... I am a people pleaser. I am a go along to get along girl.” (Heather Gay, 39:23)

• Cast Trips & Crossovers

  • Season featured trips to Greece and the British Virgin Islands (with a 'Below Deck' crossover).

• Lisa Barlow’s True Self

  • Lisa is exactly the same off-camera as she is on; her consistency is noted, even if it sometimes frustrates.
    • “If it is a persona, it runs so deep that I've never seen anything otherwise... She just is consistently herself.” (Heather Gay, 50:01-50:28)

• Salt Lake City Cast Loyalty & Friendship

  • Heather notes that the RHOSLC cast is especially tight-knit because their shared experience is so unique in their insular community, and her old Mormon social circle is gone.
    • “We have been together for six years... My whole life was transformed with these women... They are all I have... There are not a lot of women business owners that have these same experiences. We are all each other’s got in Salt Lake City.” (Heather Gay, 51:38-52:34)

Modern Life: Dating, Motherhood, and Next Chapters

• Motherhood & Dating
  • Heather describes years of sacrifice post-divorce, prioritizing raising her daughters over personal fulfillment or romance—but now, with her girls grown, she’s open to finding love:
    • “Now that the girls are leaving, I’m really going to change my focus, and I’m excited about it.” (Heather Gay, 55:45)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Mormon Ritual

• “We do secret handshakes, we do tokens, we do secret rites of passage and we do oral ritual and prayer, like with hand motions in mass.”
  – Heather Gay (13:28)

• “We make vows in the temple that will never reveal any of it or will basically disembowel and cut our throats.”
  – Heather Gay (12:22)

On Fame & Independence

• “[What changed was] fame, mostly. Fame and independent income.”
  – Heather Gay (12:09)

On Cults & Devotion

• “It’s the church in its entirety... We are zealots. If you want to call us a church, then we are religious zealots.”
  – Heather Gay (15:07)

On Reality TV Authenticity

• “You cannot fake it with the viewing audience.”
  – Heather Gay (31:13)

On “Soaking”

• “Soaking would be if the penis were a sponge and the vagina were a bowl of water. You just place it in and no motion, no movement.”
  – Heather Gay (19:28)

On Soft Swinging

• “They dabble... They want to see what’s out there, but they don’t want to leave their marriages... I think it’s a way to maintain, you know, both worlds.”
  – Heather Gay (24:58)

On Lisa Barlow

• “She just is consistently herself... I just like it makes me feel comfortable. Even if I’m mistreated, I just want to know what I’m going to get.”
  – Heather Gay (50:28)

On Cast Sisterhood

• “Without them, I would not be living the life I’m living... We are all each other’s got in Salt Lake City. And I think that makes a unique friend group and possibly a unique franchise in reality tv.”
  – Heather Gay (51:38-52:34)

Timestamps for Major Segments

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:53 | Kelly introduces Heather Gay, themes of Mormonism and RHOSLC | | 12:22 | Heather describes Mormon temple secrecy and garments | | 14:36 | Is Mormonism “cult-like?” Discussion and personal impact | | 17:19 | Heather on community ostracism after leaving the church | | 19:28 | Deep dive into ‘soaking’ and sexuality loopholes | | 24:58 | “Soft swinging” in Mormon culture | | 28:04 | How Heather kept show participation secret from family/church | | 31:13 | Why she couldn’t fake it as a TV housewife – authenticity | | 35:16 | Quickfire cast relationships: Jen, Monica, Bronwyn, Mary, Lisa | | 39:23 | On fighting and making up with the cast, people-pleasing | | 50:01 | Lisa Barlow’s authenticity and persona | | 51:38 | RHOSLC cast’s unique bond, friendship, and finding new belonging | | 54:11 | Heather’s dating life, motherhood, and hopes for the future |

Conclusion

This episode offers a compelling, candid, and at times hilarious look inside Heather Gay’s spiritual, social, and personal transformation. With unguarded reflections on Mormon tradition and Bravo fame—plus plenty of behind-the-scenes dish on Real Housewives dynamics—listeners are treated to an authentic account of what it means to step out of faith, break taboos, find community in new places, and start over at any stage of life.

Summary prepared to capture the essence, tone, and notable moments of the episode for listeners and fans of “Let’s Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa.”