Liberty Lost: Episode 6 - "How I Wonder What You Are" Summary
Host: T. J. Raphael | Release Date: July 21, 2025
Introduction and Context
In the final installment of "Liberty Lost," titled "How I Wonder What You Are," Wondery host and reporter T. J. Raphael delves into the harrowing realities faced by pregnant teens in evangelical households across the United States. The episode centers on the Liberty Godparent Home at Liberty University, exploring its impact on young women like Abby, Nathan, and their son Jay. Through personal narratives and investigative journalism, Raphael unveils the coercive practices and emotional turmoil surrounding maternity homes in post-Roe America.
Abby and Nathan's Struggle for Connection
The episode opens with Abby and Nathan reflecting on their strained relationship with their son, Jay, who was placed for adoption. Abby recalls a pivotal moment when she decided to reach out for more direct communication with Jay:
Abby (00:24): "I've always said 14 is when I'm doing it."
By 2022, their interactions had dwindled to infrequent FaceTime calls, often overshadowed by Jay's adoptive parents. Abby poignantly describes the tension during these interactions:
Abby (00:55): "He looks curious and nervous and unsure, like he doesn't know what he's allowed to do. But he knows he's not allowed to ask questions."
Their attempt to secure a more meaningful conversation leads to frustration and eventual loss of contact:
Abby (01:38): "They just started telling us that we have no place. He's not our son, they are his parents and we don't understand what is best for him."
This painful separation drives Abby and Nathan to seek deeper understanding and closure.
The Overturning of Roe v. Wade and Its Aftermath
A significant turning point in the episode is the Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, a development that profoundly affects Abby and others in similar situations. Abby shares her immediate reaction:
Abby (10:49): "I was both overwhelmed and deeply upset and cried when I found out about Roe being overturned because of what I know."
This event catalyzes Abby's transformation from silence to activism. Determined to make her voice heard, she records a heartfelt video sharing her experience as a birth mother separated from her child:
Abby (12:01): "As a birth mother, let me tell you, there is nothing beautiful or healthy about living permanently separated from your living child."
The video rapidly gains traction on TikTok, amassing over 100,000 views and sparking a wave of shared stories from other birth mothers who have endured similar traumas.
Personal Stories: Zoe and Toni
The episode further explores the lives of Zoe and Toni, two women whose experiences at the godparent home left lasting scars. Zoe, a psychotherapist, reunites with her daughter Sarah after 18 years, leading to a complex and emotional reconciliation:
Jay (15:10): "When anxiety takes over, she stops and tries again. Finally, she gets it all. She uploads her video to TikTok and hits publish."
Toni's story is one of persistent struggle and resilience. Despite marrying the father of her child at 15, her subsequent relationships are marred by the lingering effects of her time at the home:
Toni (20:42): "So who else is gonna love me?"
Both women highlight the enduring psychological impact of forced adoption and the difficulty in overcoming feelings of unworthiness and shame.
Systemic Issues and the Expansion of Maternity Homes
Raphael exposes the widespread prevalence of maternity homes, noting that there are now nearly 500 across 48 states. These facilities, often faith-based like the godparent home, receive substantial government funding. The episode underscores the systemic nature of coercion within the adoption industry:
Abby (23:06): "Millions of taxpayer dollars are going to maternity homes. Your money is going to go to maternity homes."
The narrative reveals how these institutions manipulate vulnerable women into relinquishing their children, often presenting adoption as the only viable option despite the mothers' desires to parent.
The Role of Saving Our Sisters (SOS)
Katie Burns, a former participant of the godparent home, now serves as the resource director for Saving Our Sisters (SOS), a grassroots organization dedicated to supporting birth mothers. SOS provides financial assistance and resources to help women retain custody of their children:
Zoe (29:14): "We see and hear these same stories over and over again. The money is the problem."
SOS addresses the critical moments when financial strain pushes women towards adoption, offering practical support to prevent coercion and ensure informed decisions.
Policy Challenges and Revocation Windows
The episode highlights the legislative efforts to shorten revocation windows—the period during which birth mothers can change their minds about adoption. States like Tennessee have reduced this window to as little as three days, severely limiting mothers' ability to reconsider:
Zoe (34:05): "We want people to be adoptive parents in this state."
Shorter revocation periods, coupled with high barriers to legal recourse, effectively strip women of the opportunity to reclaim their children even when they wish to do so.
The Adoption Industry and Coercion
Raphael critiques the commercialization of adoption in the United States, describing it as a multi-billion-dollar industry that commodifies children. The market-driven approach exacerbates ethical concerns, with adoptive parents sometimes paying exorbitant sums for infants:
Zoe (31:04): "The United States is the only country that has really turned adoption into a business that is extremely profitable."
This profit motive often overrides the best interests of the children and the rights of birth mothers, perpetuating cycles of trauma and loss.
Healing and Reconciliation
Amidst the systemic critique, the episode also portrays personal journeys towards healing. Abby and her mother, Debbie, work to rebuild their strained relationship, seeking forgiveness and understanding:
Debbie (39:46): "If only I could go back and do things differently."
Abby's attempt to reconcile with her father leads to an affirming and emotional response, highlighting the potential for personal healing despite systemic barriers:
Abby (42:08): "You can't change the disconnect and all the pain and the trauma, but I can look him in the eyes and tell him I'm hurting and I miss my son all day, every day."
Conclusions and Future Prospects
"How I Wonder What You Are" underscores the urgent need for systemic reform in the adoption industry. Raphael calls for a shift in societal narratives around adoption, advocating for genuine support systems that respect the autonomy and desires of birth mothers:
Zoe (37:09): "We really need to put on that critical lens. Let's talk about why is she considering this? What is going on now?"
The episode closes with Abby and Nathan awaiting Jay's 18th birthday, hopeful for a future reconnection, symbolizing a lingering quest for closure and familial bonds disrupted by coercive adoption practices.
Notable Quotes
- Abby (00:24): "I've always said 14 is when I'm doing it."
- Abby (01:25): "We want the ability to have one on one conversation with our son."
- Nathan (02:34): "I'll just think about him during the day and just be like, I don't know what he's doing."
- Abby (12:01): "As a birth mother, let me tell you, there is nothing beautiful or healthy about living permanently separated from your living child."
- Zoe (20:27): "I can't even be loved by God."
- Nathan (44:56): "I love you. I've always loved you."
Final Thoughts
In this compelling final episode, "Liberty Lost" exposes the dark underbelly of the maternity home system and its entanglement with religious and political agendas. Through heartfelt personal stories and incisive investigation, T. J. Raphael illuminates the enduring pain of birth mothers and challenges listeners to reconsider the ethical implications of adoption practices. The episode serves as a poignant call to action, urging for empathy, support, and systemic change to prevent further trauma and loss within vulnerable communities.