CJ & Ben Go Bald! Evan Takes "Cheeto" Test

Summary

Life Wide Open with CboysTV – Episode Summary

Episode: CJ & Ben Go Bald! Evan Takes "Cheeto" Test
Date: May 7, 2024
Hosts: CboysTV crew (CJ, Ben, Ryan, Ken, Evan, Micah)
Theme: A hilarious blend of hair loss camaraderie, business and life stories, and an in-depth dive into Evan’s judgments of “Cheeto” things (i.e., stuff he thinks is lame or uncool).

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Main Theme & Purpose

This week’s episode captures the energy and banter of the CboysTV crew as they react to the freshly-shaved heads of CJ and Ben, welcome a surprise (and bizarre) gift for Ken, and introduce a new segment: the “Is it Cheeto?” test with Evan as the ultimate arbiter. Alongside these antics, the boys deliver signature stories about their business, behind-the-scenes moments, and a window into their uniquely funny world.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. CJ & Ben's Bald Brotherhood

• Bald Reveal & Public Reactions: The episode kicks off with reactions to CJ and Ben both having buzzed heads, a rare occurrence. CJ reflects on how being bald changes how strangers perceive him, possibly commanding more respect or fear (00:26–06:27).

• Notable Quotes:

  • “It's still like a shock factor every time I look at you guys.” — E (00:27)
  • “When I run into a stranger, they respect me more.” — C (06:00)
  • “I thought of all truck mods, you would be all about the running boards.” — A (00:07, call-back at 19:54)

• Maintenance & Freedom: Discussion about the freedoms of being bald—less showering needed, no “bed head,” and easier routines.

  • “You don't even have to like take maintenance of your body. Like you don't have to shower or like anything like that when you're bald.” — A (02:54)

• Identity and Fun: Laughter ensues as comparisons are drawn between bald icons: Ben is likened to Michael Schofield from Prison Break, while CJ is compared to Caillou (06:45–07:21).

  • “CJ kind of looks like Caillou.” — E (06:56)
  • “Should dress like him... You and grandpa would dress up in Harley stuff, and I'll just wear Caillou clothes.” — C (07:12)

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2. Ken Receives the "Mother of Tesla Gong" (07:42–12:18)

• Surprise Gift: The crew surprises Ken with a massive, custom gong, referencing Ken’s percussionist past. The moment turns chaotic as Ken promptly manages to injure himself using the gift, prompting jokes about calling an orthopedic specialist.
  • “How do you manage?” — A (09:10)
  • “Call the orthopedic specialist.” — D (09:12)
  • “First gift in years that wasn’t a toilet.” — C (09:32)
• Jokes & Running Gags: References to Ken’s history of being given toilet-related gifts and speculation about how the gong will be used to disrupt Ken and Mike’s routines.

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3. Is it Cheeto? – The Cheeto Test Segment (12:21–37:10)

What Does “Cheeto” Mean?

• “Just lame. Like, cheesy... It's basically saying, like, it's not it.” — D (13:11, 13:19)

Rapid-fire Cheeto Judgments

Evan dictates what’s Cheeto or not, with the crew tossing in-personal stories, call-backs, and comedic bickering:

| Item/Topic | Evan’s Verdict | Commentary | Timestamp | |---------------------------|---------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------|-------------| | MGK music/persona | Cheeto | "Never really been a big fan... fans are cheeto." | 13:53–14:24 | | Red Etnies | Not Cheeto | “Collector’s item... now that Ryan Sheckler's not on Etneys.” | 15:02–15:25 | | Red V6 Ford Raptor | Cheeto | “The black fender flares kill it right off the get... I'd rather have a V8.” | 16:46–17:11 | | Under Armour gear | Cheeto | “I would double cheeto both that bike and that sweater.” | 17:12–17:38 | | Seltzers | Neutral | “Because it's not tea.” | 18:06 | | Jack in the Box | Super Cheeto | “Last time I went there, it was Super Cheeto.” | 18:16–18:23 | | White Castle | Not Cheeto | “White Castle every day.” | 18:24–18:27 | | Off-roading street bikes | Only Cheeto if orange| “Only Cheeto because it was orange. Blue, cool, cool.” | 18:59–19:03 | | Miatas (classic, new) | Not Cheeto / Cheeto | “Depends... if you think it’s a cool performance car: Cheeto.” | 20:56–21:41 | | Broncos | Cheeto | “I just think by the time you get something like that, just buy yourself a pickup truck.” | 23:24–23:28 | | Seatbelts | Cheeto (“thrown to safety”) | Evan jokes: “I still believe you’ll just get thrown to safety.” | 23:40–23:49 | | Wearing helmets | Sometimes Cheeto | “Sometimes when I'm out doing a few wheelies, the helmet's unnecessary...” | 29:45–31:36 | | Apple stickers on cars | Cheeto | “That's literally a lifetime supply of Cheeto.” | 39:51 |

• Crew Detours and Arguments: The segment is loaded with sidebars, jokes, and debates over what truly qualifies as Cheeto, with the boys relentlessly ribbing Evan.

Memorable Quotes:

• “Every last person that wrote a helmet comment can't wheelie for.” — D (32:35)
• “You guys are probably making it worse. I’m probably never gonna wear a helmet again after today.” — D (33:01)
• “It all just boils down to whether you can wheelie or not.” — C (34:54)

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4. Riffing on Rewards Points—Evan's Vape Store Obsession (42:23–46:41)

• Points Addiction: Evan reveals he’s amassed almost enough vape store points for a free Vegas trip, causing the crew to do some math and gasp at the amount spent.

  • “I need, like, 5,000 points, and I'm sitting on, like, 3,500.” — D (43:28)
  • “That’s $3,500 in vapes, and it hasn’t even been a year yet.” — C (43:46)

• Ken as the Rewards Maximizer: The crew acknowledges Ken’s legendary skills in maximizing points and deals in all aspects of life (47:50).

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5. Discussion of “Boys” Groups & YouTube Giveaways (53:05–59:35)

• The ‘Boys’ Universe: Joking about all the groups with ‘Boys’ in their name (Kia Boys, Montana Boys, Boosted Boys, Backstreet Boys/Fellas, etc.).
• Sweepstakes Confusion: The CboysTV recounts a mishap where a giveaway winner was initially told (incorrectly) via email that the win was a scam, and then subsequently received the real call—causing understandable confusion.
  • “Poor guy gets the FaceTime... biggest giveaway we’ve ever done. And it was... a rollercoaster.” — C, B (59:26–59:31)

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Other Notable Topics & Quotes

• Crash Safety Debates (Seatbelts & Traction Control):
  • Evan’s skepticism of modern safety features: “All this safety stuff—ABS, traction control, probably even airbags—he would just say, you know, it’s just designed by a bunch of overeducated idiots and it’s unnecessary.” — D (26:39)
  • The others repeatedly add disclaimers: “Do not listen to what he is saying... he has no valid points.” — A (23:55)
• Group Dynamics:
  • Standard ribbing on maintenance, technological prowess (“Evan, what do you think of laptops?”), and generational habits.
• Car Culture & Off-roading: Updates on vehicle builds, the upcoming off-road “chopper” project, and reflections on challenges (e.g., “Not much clearance at all, probably a horrible idea, but f*** yeah, sign me up.” — D, 36:43)
• Viral Internet/Car Culture Crossovers: The group discusses recent online videos about “swimming through” city traffic in supercars and how risky and irresponsible this trend is (48:04–52:55).
  • “It truly is inevitable.” — B (51:31)
  • “Bobbing and weaving in traffic, you’re gonna hurt someone innocent.” — C (51:25)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–06:27: Bald reveals, experiences, and jokes
• 07:42–12:18: Ken’s gong gift saga
• 12:21–37:10: “Is it Cheeto?” – The Cheeto Test Segment
• 42:23–46:41: Vape points saga & points maximization
• 53:05–54:35: The "Boys" groups conversation
• 55:11–59:35: Truck giveaway/fake scam saga
• Throughout: Motorcycles, off-roading, safety debates, and personal anecdotes

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Memorable Moments & Running Jokes

• Bald jokes (“You and grandpa would dress up in Harley stuff, and I’ll just wear Caillou clothes.” — C, 07:12)
• Toilets as gifts (“First gift in years that wasn’t a toilet.” — C, 09:32)
• Cheeto authority (“He looks like... he dresses from the 90s. Like he doesn’t know anything about anything.” — B quoting a hater, 34:14)
• Sweepstakes confusion (“Nope, doesn’t sound real. Sorry, man. Pretty sure that’s a scam.” — B, 56:32)

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Takeaways for New Listeners

• The Life Wide Open podcast is a riotous blend of car/vehicle culture, inside jokes, and unfiltered debates on everything from business strategy to whether putting an Apple sticker on your car is “Cheeto.”
• The crew’s dynamic is all about mutual roasting, storytelling, and seeking entertainment in everyday life.
• Evan’s “Cheeto” test is both the star feature and a window into CboysTV’s humor, brand, and approach to the world.

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Closing Quote

“Thanks for listening to the Life Wide Open podcast. Don’t forget to like and subscribe. And smash the like button—like, he’s smashing... I knew he would throw it.” — F (60:03), B (60:09)

Transcript

[A]

All right, this podcast is gonna be cut short. Ken's gotta go to the hospital.

[B]

What the fuck do we care what this dwarf thinks? Anything about anything?

[A]

I thought of all truck mods, you would be all about the running boards.

[C]

I think when I run into a stranger, they respect me more.

[D]

The lady's like, you wanna use your points?

[B]

You're.

[D]

You're only like, 1500.

[E]

Goodness gracious, dude.

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

What?

[C]

I don't know.

[E]

It's still like a shock factor every time I look at you guys.

[C]

All brotherhood.

[B]

I. Yeah, I walked in just a couple minutes ago and I thought C.J. was Gavin. Yeah.

[A]

Honestly, I feel like, Mike, you take the center, I'll take that spot. Like, when's the next time that both me and CJ are going to be bald on podcast?

[E]

You know, probably next.

[D]

The week after.

[A]

There we go.

[C]

It's going to be a while, but.

[A]

After these two months, hair going on over here.

[C]

That's true.

[D]

It'll be at least 30, 40 years in between.

[B]

I think you guys look cool.

[C]

I like. You should join.

[B]

I thought about it, really.

[C]

If you would have been there on Saturday, you probably would have done it.

[B]

Probably. That's just something I would do. But, no, I think. I don't think you guys look insane.

[D]

Nobody said that they looked insane.

[A]

Thank you, Mike.

[C]

Appreciate it.

[F]

I do mistake you for Gavin a lot, though.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Why is that?

[F]

You know, you kind of see him from the back and you're like, okay, bald guy. Used to seeing Gavin, and then it turns around and, oh, siege.

[E]

Is that all Gavin is to you?

[A]

Just a bald guy to you again?

[F]

I mean, no.

[A]

We buzzed our head, and then afterwards we went out to dinner. Me, C.J. and our grandpa. So three bald guys walk into a bar. Yeah, I'm not joking. People were looking at us and laughing.

[C]

They were, really?

[A]

Yeah, they were.

[E]

Yeah. I was kind of just, like, trying to not associate with you guys, and.

[A]

Half of the people were in our group. But no, I was like, damn, is this how bald people get treated?

[B]

I definitely think, yeah. People treat you a little differently. They treat you like, damn, this guy's bald.

[D]

But I mean, in a group of three, like, obviously you're gonna draw a little attention.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

More so than a solo bald guy, you know, Cuz like we said, like, Gavin gets through through everything just fine.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But he gets jammed up in TSA.

[A]

Because he's b. I've actually been meaning to ask Gav, though. Like, do you ever feel like people look at you and, like, laugh? Or is it because we were rolling in numbers like that.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

I thought they were like, what the is going on?

[C]

I think they were just laughing because they knew who we were. They didn't say anything to us, but they said something to grandpa walking out. So like they recognized us. And I think that's what was funny about maybe.

[A]

Maybe that made me feel better.

[C]

Yeah, I think it was just like, why is C.J. ben and Grandpa Ron shaved heads? Like clean shave down to like shiny head. We had just oiled our heads after coconut before it went in. Yeah, dude, I was slipping them up. We shined them up.

[E]

How's the maintenance been now? Like after this?

[A]

Non existent. You don't even have to like take maintenance of your body. Like you don't have to shower or like anything like that when you're bald.

[C]

Really eat healthy. You don't have to do any of that.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

Maybe I should go bald.

[C]

Bald? No, it's nice cuz, like I'll.

[D]

I'll.

[C]

I'll sauna when I get home from work. And then I shower after that, go to bed and some clean sheets. Maybe it's gross that I do this now, but there's no reason to shower in the morning.

[A]

Ev, you'd love this.

[E]

Oh, you're right.

[C]

Ev's got hair though. But.

[A]

Yeah, but I guess it wouldn't make much of a difference. You're not a big shower any anyways, guy.

[D]

I swear I take just as many showers a week as you, if not more.

[F]

You're counting them by the week, not by the day.

[B]

Come on to the same.

[A]

That's how we know the number's low. Ye.

[C]

I shower two times a week. Yeah, no, no, it's nice because I just roll out of bed and it always feels like I'm missing something. I'm like, well, why am I gonna shower? I'm clean.

[D]

It's your hair you're missing.

[C]

Oh, that's true. Feels pretty. Pretty free though.

[B]

No bed head, like at all.

[C]

There's nothing. It's kind of like sandpaper though. Like right now in this early stages, like, does your yours get like. It almost feels like it's caught on like the pillow like yours.

[A]

Mine feels longer than yours. Have you trimmed yours up?

[C]

No. You probably just have more hair than me, for one. But it's growing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm gonna touch mine up though. I want to be like. I want to be like straight bald for a little bit longer.

[E]

Really? So you. You're com. You're like, I'm sticking with it.

[A]

Well, Yeah, I don't know. Like, the next time I'll be bald. Yeah.

[E]

Just run it out for a bit.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Far.

[C]

Yeah, we also got a couple of.

[A]

Hogs down in the garage, too. And I can't be rolling around with those without a, you know, chrome dome.

[E]

It would be a shame to not ride motorcycle.

[A]

Bald, right?

[E]

Have you guys ridden your bikes yet at all? Like, felt the wind and.

[C]

Well, not your hair, but nice.

[A]

Your scalp over your head.

[D]

Well, with that hair, it'll actually help lock the hat on. Like Velcro. So you're good. You can go like 100 with a baseball.

[C]

True.

[F]

With no hat on, the hair is slowing you down. So having no hair in your head is going to make you go way more aerodynamic.

[A]

Like a swimmer.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

How many things you'd be good at.

[D]

Michael Phelps kept his hair, and he was the fastest.

[E]

He also took steroids.

[C]

That helps, right?

[E]

Didn't he?

[B]

Right?

[E]

Or am I?

[D]

No, he was just, I think.

[E]

Oh, he was smoking pot.

[B]

That's right.

[E]

Yeah, he was smoking pot.

[A]

I think you're thinking of that. That male. I don't want to get into it anyway.

[C]

No, it is. It is weird, though, because, like, I'll, like, I don't walk in and I don't look at myself very much. So, like, I just live my life and I feel completely normal.

[A]

And then next thing I know, he's a mirror. Don't look.

[C]

No, like, next thing I know, I go to, like, the bathroom or something and I, like, look in the mirror. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. I'm bald right now. I got shaved head. Or like, I wake up in the morning, I. Then I see myself. Oh, it's right.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, you're driving your. Your truck and you just, like, look in the mirror like, oh, oh, oh, yeah.

[D]

Who's driving my truck?

[C]

What the.

[A]

Who the double take.

[B]

I'm glad it catches you guys off guard, too.

[C]

I think when I run into a stranger, they respect me more.

[A]

I think they're just afraid of you, brother.

[C]

I think they respect me more. They're like, this guy's a serious man. Like, he.

[A]

You don't want to snap at any second.

[C]

Serious, like, you know, whereas before I might be just look like a. Like a kid, now I look like. You don't know what I am. You're, like, really throwing off by the way I'm dressed, but my hair. You're like, he's obviously got to be 30 years or older.

[B]

Obviously not messing around.

[C]

Yeah, right. A very serious guy.

[A]

Well, Anyways, welcome back to the Life Wide Open podcast, dude.

[B]

We're rolling deep today. We got four guys and two bald guys on the podcast. And I would love to start a really startup with a. Yeah, yeah, we got four guys. Two bald guys.

[D]

Who the hell is this man?

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

What is going on?

[E]

Oh, I think this is who Ben looks like. He looks like Michael Schofield from the show Prison Break.

[B]

Such a good show.

[A]

Prison Mike.

[B]

You look a lot like him.

[A]

I've actually been getting that a lot.

[E]

And then CJ kind of looks like Caillou.

[B]

Damn.

[C]

Guy'S pretty famous.

[B]

Yeah, he's cool.

[D]

Look how perfectly circular his head is.

[C]

He's got more of a bowling ball head.

[E]

He's kind of got drip in this picture, too. Dude, look at that.

[C]

I should dress like him. That would be funny. That's what I should address. Like, you and grandpa would dress up in Harley stuff, and I'll just wear Caillou clothes.

[A]

I'm still just trying to figure this. We got four guys on the podcast. Podcast and two bald guys.

[D]

There's six of us. But anyways.

[A]

Yeah, I've been trying to make.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Well, which.

[A]

Who's the four? Oh, I forgot about Ken back there.

[D]

And there's still five of us. There's still five right here.

[A]

Yeah. All right, all right, all right, all right. It's making sense.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Guys and two bald guys.

[A]

Anyway, we got a gift for Ken.

[B]

Yeah, we got a gift for Ken. I'm. I'm thinking you're gonna have to come up here, and you're probably gonna sit right where I am just for a minute here. I'll bring it out for you, and then you'll just. Just rip it. Okay.

[A]

Mike comes out with the world's biggest vape.

[E]

Don't spoil the surprise.

[A]

Yeah, Ken. Close your eyes maybe.

[E]

What the.

[A]

All right, stay down, Ken.

[C]

All right, put it over on that side. Right there. Oh, my gosh. It's beautiful. It is beautiful.

[A]

All right, there you go.

[D]

I don't want to sit here when you hit this.

[E]

So this.

[B]

Remember when you told us you played percussion? I just wanted to bring back some nostalgia. And you said you hit a gong at one point in your life. I looked it up. This is called the mother of Tesla gong.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So I just figured it'd be fit.

[A]

For you, built for you.

[B]

We're not going to talk about that.

[C]

Thousands.

[A]

Money is no object.

[B]

It's legit.

[A]

Making you happy.

[F]

Money is no Mike, isn't it?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, money's no object. To Mike.

[B]

We gotta get a big smack on this.

[C]

I don't know. Everyone watch out. Ken managed to injure himself.

[D]

You good, Ken?

[A]

What'd you do, dude?

[F]

Ow. That hurt him.

[B]

Of course. Of course.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

How.

[A]

How do you manage?

[D]

Call the orthopedic specialist.

[C]

All right, this podcast is going to.

[A]

Be get cut short. Ken's got to go to the hospital. Ken tips it off. You don't like it, Ken? Beautiful.

[F]

At least this. At least it's not a toilet. So.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it's something.

[F]

It's an up. We're getting upgrades.

[C]

First gift in years that wasn't a toilet.

[F]

It's not a toilet or toilet associated.

[B]

So it's.

[C]

It's like Ken's whole life all he's been given for gifts was toilets. Even at like Christmas and his birthday.

[A]

Cuz he blows them out.

[D]

So think you could use this like in the merch bay for when it's like lunchtime and time to come back and end of day you can. It's like the bell ringing at school.

[B]

That was my. That was kind of my thought.

[F]

Close your ears.

[B]

Whoa.

[F]

Hey, we can wake. My God.

[C]

Dude. There's different ways to play that, as Ken would probably know.

[B]

Yeah. So I was hoping. I was hoping you could incorporate that into your daily life, whether it be in the merch bay, waking my ass up, you know, whatever. I really do hope that you guys use this at some point to wake me up.

[C]

We probably will, Mike.

[F]

Well, no, we can't because you said it.

[B]

Well, I mean, I'm not going to know you're. I'm not going to know.

[D]

We'll just dump 20 pounds of flour on you first and then whack the gun.

[B]

That was a.

[A]

With your head.

[B]

That's the one thing I said that was off limit.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you hold it right above your.

[A]

Head so when you wake up.

[B]

Okay, That'll be pretty funny on it.

[A]

I just realized like how little that whole bit made sense if you were listening to it on audio.

[C]

So Ken was given a gong. A very nice custom built gong.

[E]

Is that cherry? Cherry wood?

[B]

I think so, yeah.

[C]

Mike spared no expense.

[B]

Cherry wood, mother of Tesla gong. I was like, you know in Google looking it up and I'm like, this is stupid. And then mother of Tesla gong came up.

[F]

Oh, you spent 12, $1300 on that?

[C]

No, 1400.

[E]

I would just like to point out that there is a Gong's Unlimited.

[B]

That's where it came from. That's where it came from. Came from. Gong's Unlimited. I Had to scribble out the. The branding on the box.

[D]

How many? How many? How big is this one? How many inches?

[E]

I'm glad you got a big one.

[B]

This is a 20 tour.

[D]

Oh, nice.

[B]

It was $320 with the stand. With the stand, dude. We got a gong now, though, boys.

[C]

No, we needed one of those.

[B]

This is sick.

[A]

Ken has a gong, if I remember correctly.

[B]

True.

[C]

Don't touch my gong.

[A]

Where is my gong?

[B]

Who touched my gong? Have you guys been hitting my gong while I was gone?

[F]

I could sense it.

[D]

Who's playing?

[B]

My God. I'm gonna rub my sack on your go.

[A]

Now that might be.

[F]

Why is my gong all sweaty?

[D]

This hammer doesn't ring the gong hard enough, so Ken has to use what God gave him his balls.

[B]

Legendary Bong.

[C]

Bong.

[D]

A double dribble.

[E]

Anyhow, well, I'd like to fire up a new game. I'd like it to be maybe a reoccurring segment on this podcast called. Is it Cheeto?

[C]

I like that.

[E]

Where we scroll through some things that we ask our buddy Evan here, who's very hard to please.

[B]

What is it called? The Cheeto Inspector.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're the Cheeto police. You're the Cheeto inspector. You're Cheeto investigator. You're all, all man Cheeto. If. If something is Cheeto, it's not getting past Devin. That's not good either, without him making some kind of comment about it. Yeah, he makes it very clear. He's very opinionated. Sometimes it's appreciated. Most times.

[D]

You'Re gonna get it. Anyways.

[A]

So anyway, Ev.

[E]

What's the definition of Cheeto? What's your definition of Cheeto?

[D]

Ah, just like. Just lame. Like, cheesy. I don't know if that's a good way to just. Just Cheeto.

[B]

Like, not it. It's basically saying, like, it's not it.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, it's not it. Yeah.

[E]

Starting off, we have Cheeto. Mgk.

[D]

MGK Cheeto.

[C]

If I remember correctly, you had a good time at his concert, Evan.

[D]

I don't remember being there.

[F]

Yeah, you had such a good time there.

[D]

I blacked out on fun.

[A]

I'm pretty sure I got videos, actually, of you having a very good time.

[D]

I'm sure you do.

[B]

That's where it's fun too. Like, it'll. It adds depth to it when you're like, I. I've experienced it and I still think it's Cheeto.

[A]

So why is MGK Cheeto?

[D]

Oh, man. I guess I just don't like his. His. His whole vibes. His whole aura. Never really been a big fan, but I'll give it to him.

[A]

Music.

[D]

He's made a few good songs. He's done well for himself, but he's.

[E]

Kind of like a. A bit of a rebel, kind of punk, a strayer from the norm. Kind of like you.

[D]

Yeah, I think maybe I just remember so many people getting like 19xx tattoos, and I just thought that was Cheeto. So maybe I like, took out all those people on him. Maybe he's a good guy.

[E]

Maybe his fans are cheating on him.

[D]

Yeah, just some of that is like. Like you couldn't even listen to him. Like in what, the mid-2000s, you, like, had to have a MGK tattoo to listen to.

[A]

Really?

[C]

I don't know anyone.

[A]

Yeah, I don't either.

[C]

He's a huge star, I swear.

[D]

Lace, upper and 19xx. There's like 10 million people out there. Probably some of them listening that have the tattoo.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

Okay, what do you have to say to them?

[B]

Lace up.

[D]

Ah, man. Like, are you still stoked on the lace up tattoo? If you are, then hell yeah.

[E]

Next up, we've got Red Etnes.

[C]

Who is this guy?

[E]

Red etnes.

[D]

Okay, so the definitely, definitely not Cheeto.

[A]

You know that he's judging someone right now. You're looking at something.

[D]

That's Cheeto, dude.

[E]

Look at his face.

[C]

Judges.

[E]

Okay, so Red Edney's not Cheeto.

[D]

Red Eddie's not Cheeto. And the thing is, now that Ryan Sheckler is no longer on Etney's, they have become a collector's item.

[A]

Oh, because Ryan Sheckler was Cheeto?

[D]

No, not at all. No, no, not at all. He made.

[C]

He.

[D]

He collaborated with that knees to make one of the best shoes ever.

[C]

But what.

[A]

What do you mean now that he's not with him, like his model of Etne?

[D]

No, no. Ryan Sheckler quit Etne's and he's now on whatever movie.

[A]

Mark Wahlberg's Municipal.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do know. I mean, because those are like older and they used to be able to get them for like 90 bucks, and now I saw them going for 250 for a brand new pair of red.

[A]

Right, Those ones, That's a flex.

[D]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying, though. And when I got them, they were like $100 because damn, it didn't matter.

[A]

Yeah, that's a pretty solid investment. Imagine if you would have bought like a hundred thousand pairs.

[D]

How do you know I don't have a shipping container on the way right now?

[C]

$1 million in Aetnes.

[D]

Some invest in gold, silver stocks. I got a box full at knees.

[E]

All right. Okay, so red etnes, not Cheeto. How about red Es on Ben?

[D]

Dude, honestly, I'm. No, that is amazing. Not Cheeto. They're on the wrong feet. That could be misconstrued as Cheeto.

[E]

Photoshop is hard.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Not Cheeto.

[E]

Okay. Not Cheeto. Nice. Think it was going that way. Always a surprise. Some of the things you think is Cheeto aren't a red V6 Raptor.

[D]

Well, yeah, that's pretty Cheeto.

[E]

What makes it most cheeto v6 raptor or that it's red?

[D]

No, the most Cheeto is that the fenders. The black fender flares are really. Just kill it right off the get.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

It's a pretty dang nice truck there. I've.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

Doesn't your truck have black fender flares?

[C]

No, we wrapped them around.

[E]

We wrapped them red because it would have looked dumb.

[D]

I mean, I'm sure it's a nice truck, but I'd rather have a V8.

[E]

Okay. Under Armour.

[B]

O.

[D]

Yeah, that's. That's a good looking sweater.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Really?

[E]

I can see why you did that because of your.

[C]

Your bike.

[E]

Under Armor bike.

[B]

And that's a sick pick, bro.

[D]

Oh, my goodness. Yeah, I probably would double Cheeto both that bike and that sweater.

[C]

You think that bike was Cheeto?

[D]

It looked good for a minute.

[C]

Well, at least you were.

[A]

You were self inflicting the Cheeto.

[B]

I think you ended up getting in the clear because I did end up taking blame for that.

[A]

Yeah, but we never gave it to you, Mike. You would always. You would always take the blame and we would just go, shut up. Shut up, shut up.

[B]

It's this idiot.

[D]

Just give it to Evan, man. Hindsight, it was kind of Cheeto, but it also was kind of cool. It was kind of cool.

[C]

All right.

[B]

It's a sick pick.

[E]

Just a neutral one here. Seltzers. Cheeto or not Cheeto?

[D]

Because it's not tea.

[B]

All right.

[E]

Jack in the Box.

[D]

Oh, my God. I thought I love Jack in the Box, but the last time I went there, it was Super Cheeto.

[B]

Jack in the Box or White Castle.

[D]

If you had to pick White Castle every day.

[E]

What do you think about riding a street bike off road for views?

[D]

It's a great idea.

[A]

Dude.

[B]

Ryan absolutely killed it on these pics. Absolutely killed it.

[E]

Why are you laughing so hard? I mean, do you think it's Cheeto or.

[F]

No, no.

[D]

Just because we have this athlete riding this street bike through the woods It's a beautiful thing. All right. Orange like a Cheeto though.

[E]

So it's cooler if it's a blue.

[D]

Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Mainly. Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Only Cheeto because it was orange. This one's cool. Blue, cool, cool.

[E]

Our truck, Our Ford truck.

[D]

No, it's.

[E]

It's cool.

[D]

I would not say it's Cheeto. I just like the Cummins more. More.

[E]

Okay. Do you think aspects of it are Cheeto? Like some paint matching and stuff like that?

[D]

The running boards are Cheeto. I didn't like the tailgating before Cheeto.

[A]

You can't even see them. No, no, no.

[D]

Cuz they're too slow.

[A]

Slow.

[D]

They are slow, bro.

[B]

That's just.

[A]

How, how fast you hopping in that truck?

[D]

I'm in a hurry.

[A]

By the time you open up that door, they're already down.

[D]

No, they hit me in the knees.

[C]

They do not hit you in the knees. They probably hit you in the pel.

[D]

Well, I open the door, I jump out real quick and turn around so I get a quick spanking.

[A]

I thought of. I thought, you're not tall enough for.

[C]

Me to hit you in the knees.

[A]

I thought of all truck mods. You would be all about the running boards. Yeah.

[C]

If anything, that'd be your first mod.

[D]

No, I would rather struggle my way in than I have to use a step.

[A]

One time I saw Evan trying to get into the, the, the Ram and before it had running boards. And he opened up the door, got a running start, jumped up, landed on his stomach on the seat. And then his feet were like kicking, kicking, and he was trying to like squirm his way in there.

[C]

It's better than running boards.

[D]

Yeah, it is literally better than running boards.

[E]

My God.

[B]

You guys think we should take the front valance off?

[C]

I don't mind.

[A]

We were going to, but yeah, it's like hiding a bunch of stuff.

[E]

Oh, a 401k plan.

[D]

The fuck is that?

[E]

It would be a tax advantage retirement savings plan.

[D]

It seems like a good idea.

[E]

That or the casino cash house. All right, we got a Miata.

[D]

Not Cheeto.

[B]

Not Cheeto.

[A]

All right, how about different models of Miata? Pull up a different model of Miata.

[B]

I am curious. Yeah, let's just take the new one.

[C]

The new, like spider new ones. Cheeto.

[D]

And I would say it depends on what you're doing with it. If you're gonna blow the tires off it and, and run her off the valves and there's nothing Cheeto about it. But if you think you got yourself a Cool performance car to go. Go to car meets with. It's kind of Cheeto.

[B]

Might as well get yourself in a Solara at that point.

[A]

Or what about the. The model right in between?

[D]

Kind of looks like a red Antony now.

[A]

You like it?

[B]

I like it.

[C]

I don't know, driving around in your shoe.

[D]

If it could perform like the 89 Miata, then I guess I'd give it a go.

[C]

I'd imagine it would perform better. How about.

[A]

How about this one?

[D]

That's a good looking Miata.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. What's wrong with that?

[E]

Well, I don't know.

[A]

I think this one looked pretty Cheeto.

[E]

Because it doesn't have the flip ups, right?

[A]

No flip ups.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah. I guess I couldn't tell from here.

[A]

Guess how much this Miata just sold for on cars and bid.

[E]

How much did it cost?

[C]

10K.

[B]

10 grand?

[E]

Yeah, it went for 10.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh my gosh. Was that before the auction?

[A]

People are running up prices on these things. All right, so not cheap.

[B]

Maybe us, not necessarily Miatas, but dude, we're running the prices up on mini trucks. We've done it on smart cars.

[A]

I think that mini trucks are just popping in general.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

They're crazy popping right now.

[B]

I hope like US doesn't make like rules on them.

[C]

Apparently they banned them in Georgia because.

[B]

They'Re popping so hard.

[C]

No, they ban them because they're dangerous. Like, they've made out they don't have crumple zones. They've made like a statement suggesting not to like use them on the highway. It does make sense. Also warning passengers not to ride with them.

[E]

It makes sense because some people, like in a city, if you were driving that around Fargo and you happen to get tagged by someone running a red light, it would be. No.

[B]

Catastrophic.

[A]

Yeah, it'd be damn near the equivalent of getting hit on a motorcycle. But I was just like, worse.

[D]

So it's hard to see how you could ban it because it's unsafe, Safe.

[E]

Yeah, it's like your own option.

[F]

Yeah, Every. Every old car like that, they're not safe. You watch an old car get crash and you watch a new car get crashed, the old one's like demolished.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And then something that threw me for a real loop though was when I saw the, the Ford Bronco. The new ones, their crash test of getting rear ended at like 40, the entire thing just turns into a literal pancake. Everyone's like, so, yeah, how does it feel to like probably die if you get in a crash? I'm like, I don't Want to think about that?

[C]

I don't know, but it's worth the risk for the.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Driving that Bronco. What do you think about Broncos?

[D]

Evan Cheeto.

[B]

I knew he's gonna say that.

[E]

Even Raptors.

[D]

Nah, I mean they're. They're pretty capable. I just think by the time you get something like that, just buy yourself a pickup truck. Got room to. Room for the bike in the back.

[E]

Seat belts.

[C]

Cheeto.

[D]

I still believe that you will just get thrown to safety. Don't wear a seatbelt.

[A]

Thrown to safety. Out the windshield.

[C]

And would be. Yeah, Evan would be.

[D]

Just think of the car ignites on. On fire and I'll be cleanly in the ditch, land in the water, safe and sound.

[A]

I. I need to say this. Do not listen to what he's saying for everyone that is at home maybe wondering if he has any valid points. Do not listen to anything. Carry on. I just felt like that needed to be said.

[B]

A little disclaimer.

[E]

It's not advice.

[F]

Decades of research saying the other ways.

[C]

But Evan's way smarter than that research. You just genuinely don't think it's going to save you.

[D]

Okay. In all reality, I do try to wear my seatbelt when I'm really traveling at high rates of speed, going on the freeway, shit like that. But when I'm just running around in town going from here to the gas station and then you got a buzzer, bing, bing, bing. You're not wearing your seatbelt. I go, this is really Cheeto. I don't need my seatbelt on right now.

[A]

Like you think that. You think that the buzzer or like the dinger shouldn't turn on until you're doing like 45 miles per hour ever.

[D]

I think it's. You should be able to decide if you want to wear the seat belt or not. And there should be no beeping.

[A]

Is it that much hassle? Is it annoying?

[C]

Like what do you feel more hardcore driving without your seatbelt? Is that what it is?

[A]

Evan?

[D]

I just feel a little restricted.

[A]

What are you.

[C]

Were you trying to around.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Just.

[B]

It was like when we were like.

[D]

To be loose when we drove the.

[B]

Chevy into the pond. We were like trying to drive it onto the ice, but there's potential that it would break through. So Evan just goes just in case we go through. We probably shouldn't wear our seat belts. And then we want into a rock.

[A]

Oh, you guys weren't wearing your seatbelts for those? Just a car accident.

[B]

I don't know why. Yeah, that was silly. But I'm like, yeah, just in case the water starts coming in, we don't want to be belted in.

[C]

You know, that kind of made sense.

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

I would do it the same way.

[B]

But dude, the sensors are getting crazy. Like in the older vehicles, they kind of, they come on, they ding after like five minutes or whatever. And then in my car, like it dings right away. It dings loud. It dings all the time. And then your girlfriend's truck, you can't even put that into drive if you're not belted. Yeah, I was really surprised.

[E]

My Hummer is the same way. You can't put it in a drive unless you have your seat belt on. But you can turn it off.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I, I did that. I just moved your Hummer the other day.

[E]

Cuz I turned it off because that's stupid.

[B]

Got you, got you.

[A]

Gotcha.

[E]

I typically put my seat belt on, but it's typically like a backup. You turn like you, you make your back out of the space and then you start driving across the driveway. And then I buckle up.

[A]

Click it. Or ticket buddy.

[D]

It was about 15 years ago when the dingers first came out my. Or maybe they've been out longer than that. But my grandpa just had a buckle.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[D]

That he would shove in the thing so it wouldn't.

[B]

One way to get it. Okay.

[D]

And, and then because that makes a.

[A]

Lot of sense, I was wondering where you got this Cheeto inspector attitude from. But it, it seems like it was maybe passed down generation to generation.

[D]

Yeah, pretty much all this safety stuff. Abs, traction control, probably even airbags.

[A]

He was in your family off.

[D]

Yeah. He would just say, you know, it's just designed by a bunch of over educated idiots and it's unnecessary.

[B]

Traction control does get avalo fired up.

[D]

I hate it. Especially on these bikes. We get all these nice bikes.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You almost crash because the traction control. I swear I come in hot into the driveway, I lock up the brakes and I just keep going 40 miles an hour at the dumpster. It's like how is this.

[A]

I agree with anybody that one bikes is absolutely bizarre. Like the fact that they put traction control or, or ABS on a motorcycle because then it doesn't let you stop.

[E]

It's supposed to help people that are dumb. Like me and Ken. Sorry, Ken. That would lock up like the front brake and then you go.

[D]

But don't put that on an R6. Like I feel like maybe on the even beginner bike.

[A]

Whatever it is.

[C]

Yeah, I was to supposed surprised by that. I'd never seen it until that.

[E]

So you could mash the brake as hard as you want, and it.

[C]

Yeah, you can change the settings. Like, you can. Like the. How much it'll let you. But yeah, you can turn it all the way off, though, so you can still slide it.

[E]

The one thing I do got to say about seat belts is our old RS one used to make you buckle the seat belt before you would drive it. And I was driving it home from. Or I was actually driving to the shop from my house, and I had, like, this dresser in the passenger seat, and I was, like, just gonna slowly.

[B]

Drive one passeng seat, brother.

[E]

Oh, yeah. It must have been an old.

[C]

Well, that's.

[A]

That's why I had it on top of me.

[E]

Yeah, I had it on top.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And so I was like. It was hard to buckle up, but I wasn't going to drive five miles an hour the whole way home.

[D]

Couldn't you just buckle it behind your back?

[E]

I had it, like, buckled. I could have done that, but I buckled it, like, around my waist, and I didn't even have the full things or the. The harnesses over the top. And a deer ran out in front of me, and I locked up the brakes, and the brake bias was messed up, and it slid, and I rolled it at like, 25 miles an hour into a tree. If I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt.

[C]

Dude, you gotta find that.

[E]

It's stuck in the tree.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That was crazy.

[E]

And if I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt, probably would have been no bueno.

[C]

Yeah, it would have been bad for sure.

[E]

Yeah. So there is. There is good things about that that, like, razors don't let you move without seat belts.

[C]

And then that one time when Blake got thrown out of our mouth. He wasn't wearing a seat belt, was he?

[A]

No, that one is.

[E]

That one.

[A]

That one is insane.

[E]

That one was just. That was just luck. There's.

[A]

There was somebody.

[E]

God, whatever.

[A]

Somebody watching out for him on that one.

[E]

Yeah, and us, too, because. All right, moving on into. Is a Cheeto. The Kardashians.

[D]

Cheeto.

[E]

All right. Do you still think the Kardashians are Cheeto?

[D]

Oh, Ray J, run the clip.

[E]

I better investigate once again, the quality of the video.

[D]

Cheeto.

[E]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

Being on time, not Cheeto.

[B]

Wait. Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I had to read the sign. Yeah. No, be on time. That's a good idea.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

I do appreciate that about you. So you're typically punctual.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheeto. If you don't all Right.

[E]

And then the one that has quite possibly been the biggest up for debate. Cheeto or not thing.

[D]

Wearing your helmet, man, this is such a controversy. I just think that sometimes when I'm out doing a few wheelies, the helmets unnecessary. But anytime I hit the track or I'm doing anything gnarly, I always wear a helmet. But if I'm just chilling, you know.

[A]

Just doing wheelies down the highway at 50 mile an hour, just chilling, it just feels better.

[D]

It's like not wearing a condom. Same thing just doesn't feel as good. You are feeling the, the open air just blowing through your hair and everything's loud. It just feels so much better. Protection.

[A]

So what, what happens if you eat.

[D]

That just goes along with like how good it feels that you could get jammed up, kind of.

[A]

What's more, Cheeto, though, wearing paralyzed, wearing a helmet and doing these videos for as long as you want. For forever. You could be doing these in your 80s.

[E]

No.

[A]

Yeah, you could. Or for the next three months until you inevitably have some kind of problem.

[D]

Inevitable. Three months.

[A]

It could happen. It could happen. And then you get jammed up. You. You hit your head. You. Like, who knows what could happen?

[E]

You're all dumb.

[A]

You don't know your head on the concrete at 50 miles per hour.

[D]

I mean, at least.

[A]

I only think you never make another wheelie clip again.

[D]

The way she goes, I guess that.

[A]

Just does not sound worth it.

[D]

Yeah, can't explain it, man. Your core, dude, it just, it just feels good. Bike is so much louder. You're not a helmet and you win. Yeah, I'm not saying do it all the time, but every once in a while you just throw it, throw it up. Oh, man, it feels good. And you can't beat that feeling you're.

[B]

Talking about feeling too. And I've had a few. Like, I'll show you the clip back. And you're like, dude, I should not have been wearing my helmet in that clip. It'll look way cooler. I can't really agree. But like, I see it. I think it's tough because sometimes when I'm riding like hitters or taking a bike for a spin, I'll rock no helmet. And then if like a video gets taken, it's like, damn, you're on the no helmet train too. And I was like, no, I'm actually only doing it when it's just actually chilling. Evan just so happens to be chilling when he's doing 50 in a wheelie on the highway.

[D]

And I try not to get too crazy. Usually it's pretty more like low key stuff without a helmet usually. I mean, it's not like I'm hopping on the Hayabusa and flying around with no helmet. Like, I know that I need to wear a helmet most of the time.

[A]

So I'm pretty sure I have a.

[B]

Video of you on the high boost.

[D]

Chill, chill, chill, chill.

[A]

What about. What about like reading the comments on your. On your last Instagram video? Like every last person of them are saying, like, wear a helmet.

[D]

Every last person that wrote a helmet comment can't wheelie for. So I don't probably.

[A]

That is probably true.

[E]

And I'm trying to get them you to do the right thing.

[D]

Learn how to find the rear brake, then tell me what to do.

[E]

Man. It just, it just doesn't seem worth it. And I, I hate like even I feel like now that we push you to even wear a helmet, you want to rebel against the wearing the helmet.

[D]

You guys are probably making it worse.

[E]

That's what I mean.

[D]

I'm probably never gonna wear a helmet again after today.

[C]

Do something. You'll just do the opposite.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. You should have tried reverse psychology. Tell me how cool I look without one.

[B]

We didn't know you were gonna act like an angsty teen.

[A]

That's the best way to put it.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, we're gonna tell you to wear a helmet for the rest of the careers, but.

[D]

And I'll wear 90%. I wear 90% of the time.

[E]

Stress me out.

[A]

We're going to do with you, boy.

[D]

Just keep feeding me tease that you.

[E]

Have no trouble doing on yourself.

[A]

Okay, well, I think that was a good, good round of. Is a Cheeto or not?

[B]

I think we really got to know you a little bit more, dude. I've seen some. Yeah, again, a lot of people love the whole like the Cheeto thing. You kind of brought that. You said you got that maybe from a buddy back home. That's a great term. And then you get a couple people. Dude, I saw some brutal comments that even pissed me off. They're like, one of them was so, like, bad. It was just like, what the fuck do we care what this dwarf thinks? He looks like. He dresses from the 90s. Like he doesn't know anything about anything. Dude, it was. Yeah.

[A]

Was it a comment or was it you?

[D]

Where did you read this literature, Mike?

[A]

He's like, well, I just have it drafted in my notes. Yeah. No, no, he's got like a hate.

[B]

Book that I write.

[E]

Stupid dwarf.

[B]

No, no, we have. I was going through. We have a YouTube channel so that people comment on that and some of them were brutal. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. Repeated what someone else said, but it was brutal.

[D]

The only thing he's holding the knife.

[E]

He's going to stab you.

[D]

He, that commenter probably can't really for.

[B]

Neither so I'd have to agree.

[D]

Get out Wheelie by a dwarf. He this is the one that should be embarrassed.

[C]

It all just boils down to whether you can wheelie or not.

[B]

Yeah, he's like talking about the truck.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Kenny Wheelie.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That salesman. He didn't know. He probably doesn't even know how to wheelie. I honestly have, I, I pretty much knew what your answer was to every single one of those. I, I, I have a pretty good idea as to what you will think is Cheeto.

[A]

Yeah, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty predictable.

[D]

I think you expected me to say the Ford was Cheeto, which like I said, I just loved the Cummins. Is this like my favorite truck? Ford's cool in a Cummins.

[A]

Yeah. I mean we kind of knew the answer to all of them except for the street bike.

[D]

I knew knew you were going to bring that up.

[C]

Oh, I knew you would. Not like that one.

[A]

No, but he said not Cheeto.

[C]

Yeah, you know he was, oh, he said not Cheeto. I think you were being sarcastic when you said that. Like you were referring to that.

[D]

It's not Cheeto if you're, you're referring.

[C]

To that specific picture as Cheeto.

[B]

I think he said it was not Cheeto.

[C]

But he was like laughing. It was like a sarcastic notch.

[A]

Yeah, I never really got a good feel for that one.

[D]

Well, I don't know. Did he have some sort of protective cages around it? That would be pretty Cheeto. I think the only way to off road a street bike is destroy one every time.

[A]

That's the only way Evan does it. Speaking of which, we got a chopper. It was not a Harley Davidson, but it's like a chopper motorcycle being delivered today. And that's next on the chopping block for off road vehicles.

[D]

Oh Lord. This might be a new hardest to ride two wheeled bike off road. Like the Hayabusa at this point I think was the hardest just because it was so heavy.

[E]

The conditions were awful.

[D]

But like our, what was it? A Sportster? That one lacked clearance and didn't do great. And this chopper is lacking more clearance.

[A]

Yeah, no, the chopper is definitely like the least capable for damn near being on the road.

[C]

Pretty much everything.

[D]

Like got to be heavy.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It's got a Huge motor.

[B]

This is Ben proposing in the group chat. And then he's like, yo, like, off road, the chopper. And Evan goes. I mean, yeah. Not much clearance at all, would imagine it's heavy as fuck. Not the easiest to balance in all reality. Probably a horrible idea, but fuck yeah, sign me up. That's the type of attitude you like.

[A]

That's what's. That's what's up right there.

[B]

No. That's gonna be fun, dude. So Slim. Slim's here. Our buddy, Evan's buddy from back home. He brought his. What Harley is that? Super Glide with the tallest handlebars ever. And I've sat on bikes with tall handlebars before, and I didn't necessarily think they were Cheeto, but I was like, how do people ride this? Like, and then I rode it down the driveway and it just feels like America.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Yes. Like, literally wrote it 100 yards, and I'm like, sold.

[C]

Like, get one.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Did you buy this one from us?

[B]

The one you have? Isn't that a family?

[C]

We just bought it.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, it's company, but, yeah, you can buy it after us.

[A]

Yeah, dude, it's gonna have a sidecar on the.

[B]

Yeah, it's gonna be tainted. Oh, it really was.

[A]

You and Evan. You and Evan could take it to Zorbs.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Oh, my God. All summer.

[B]

The handlebars are seriously two and a half feet.

[C]

Mike in the side.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's how we would end up. It would start out with Evan, the sidecar and Mike driving. And real quick, EV would be like, let me hop.

[B]

You don't know how to find the limiter.

[A]

They're eating it with the sidecar, dude.

[B]

That's another funny thing is Evan really gets riled up when you. When people can't find the limiter. It's. It's funny and awesome and fun. You're like, let me. Let me find it.

[A]

Like the rev limiter.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. I just want to see what it can do. There's no. What good is short shifting it? It doesn't impress nobody.

[A]

Right? Let's just ring it out, see what it's got. Yeah, you've gotten really good at that, too.

[D]

And the thing is, there's a lot of vehicles that some people think are underpowered, but you get them in the limiter, you might be surprised at the power they can put down.

[E]

All the power is right on the chip.

[C]

I don't know if it's normally how that works.

[D]

Yeah, most people don't unlock it, but there's a little extra Power up there.

[A]

You're good at finding that. Oh, yeah, Mike, you didn't know that?

[B]

No, I did. I thought Slim just brought it up for fun. He, like, pulled up with it and I'm like, dude, this is sweet. And you're like, yeah, I've had it forever. I'm like, awesome. I love it. Thanks for letting me ride it, bro.

[A]

We've had it since the early 80s.

[B]

That's crazy. You've literally owned it for 40 years.

[E]

Do you know who you're selling it to?

[A]

Like I told cj. What's the best part about it?

[D]

I don't have to deal with any card marketplace.

[A]

Just in person.

[E]

Just in person. Just gotta go spend the day with.

[A]

Them, I guess, before we completely move on from Cheeto or not. What about the Apple sticker that comes with, like, your ipod or iPhone and then putting it on the back of your car?

[D]

Cheeto.

[F]

Everyone thinks that's.

[C]

I'd say that's Cheeto.

[B]

That's literally a lifetime supply of Cheeto.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

There's got to be a picture of Ken's impressive somewhere, right?

[C]

Apple sticker on it.

[D]

Putting that Apple sticker on literally anything is. Is Cheeto.

[A]

Like, what were they thinking?

[B]

But I only. I think you're a lot of people. Like, you're only truly hard if you look at the stickers when you get the phone and you throw them away.

[D]

I thought you were going into a Bluetooth.

[B]

Of course. Like, my ass just hoarded them. I had a couple sheets of them. Yeah, it's, like, sick. I'm going to, like, use these for something.

[E]

Do they still send out stickers?

[B]

No.

[C]

I think so.

[E]

I doubt it. They don't send a freaking charger block anymore, dude.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Dude. What is up with that?

[C]

Tough man? Why don't they pay more and we're getting less?

[A]

Like, what's up with the no charger block?

[D]

You can afford the.

[F]

Put it in a smaller box so they can ship more together.

[A]

Really?

[E]

So they're just. They're just literally pennying? Infraction of pennying us. Not even nickel and dime anymore, dude. There's taking everything away.

[F]

Hundreds of a penny, probably.

[A]

They can't just figure out how to stack them better?

[B]

No. Okay.

[E]

Make a real block.

[F]

Realistically, blocks do you have just laying around?

[A]

Well, I wasn't too worried about it till I got a new phone and it's with USB C. And like, every time I get a new phone, it's got a new charging system. Oh, it wasn't even my phone. It was my AirPods and I didn't have anything to plug it into. I was like, how is this now.

[F]

It uses the same charger as your laptop.

[A]

No, it doesn't.

[E]

No, it does. No, it doesn't.

[C]

He's got a real laptop.

[F]

Magnetic, but you can still charge it over usbc.

[C]

Evan, what do you think of laptops?

[B]

I've never seen this use a computer.

[C]

I'd be curious. I've never seen him use a computer. I want to see if he do like this.

[B]

The last time he used.

[C]

You really don't know how to type.

[B]

Was for the IQ test.

[D]

Yeah, that was the last time seeing.

[B]

Footage of you like on a computer was like so foreign to me.

[D]

Dude, a handful of times have I had to run a computer since like literally high school.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Never owned a laptop, running a computer. Never had my own computer.

[C]

Literally.

[D]

Just iPhones all you need, I guess.

[E]

Interesting. Yeah, I remember we sent you up an email account for like the company we all have at cboy cv.

[A]

Oh, does he have an email?

[E]

No, we took it. We took it away. Never logged into it.

[D]

Well, I didn't even know the pet CJ just kind of made it and I didn't know what the password was and I don't really know.

[A]

I. I'd love to see what Evan would be running through that email.

[E]

Freaking the online rewards points of the vape store or something like that.

[D]

Hey, now that is a lucrative point system.

[A]

Yeah. So what's up with that?

[B]

You.

[A]

You were kind of saying something about that.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So I'm still not completely sure on the details. All I know is I've been running my points for about a year at this vape at the vape store and I don't really know.

[A]

They have like a point system.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Where you like check in and you swipe a card.

[D]

Yeah, I swipe my little deal or whatever and I don't know, I'll see a little thing on the screen, like save 15% or something. And I save it, save it. I've been doing that for a year. And the other day the lady's like, you want to use your points? Like, nope. She goes, yeah, you never do. Are you saving up for the trip to Vegas?

[B]

Whoa.

[D]

And you know, I kind of like awkward laugh, like, haha, yeah, saving them up for Vegas, whatever. And then we look at. Or I don't know, it was just like awkward. She's like, no, like you're. You're only like 1500 points away from a trip to Vegas.

[E]

What?

[A]

From like.

[B]

Well, sweepstakes.

[D]

What do you mean?

[B]

Yeah, you know, like. Like an entry. Like, you can spend five points to get. Get an entry and.

[D]

No, no, no, no. A trip, a flight, and a hotel in Vegas. I. I need, like, 5, 000 points, and I'm sitting on, like, 3,500.

[A]

Wait, so you're telling me that if you spend $5,000, I'd imagine one point is $1.

[D]

I mean, I'm kind of thinking that, but I'm not.

[C]

I can't confirm they give you $3,500 in vapes, and it hasn't even been a year yet.

[B]

Like, Ryan said about his car insurance, don't do the math.

[C]

Yeah, so I think that's one.

[D]

No, but that does add up. That's about what I thought. Like, seven. Seven 75 bucks a week, and more or less, you can go for a year. That's about 3, 500, I think.

[C]

Bro, that's insane.

[D]

No, it's not that bad.

[A]

That's.

[C]

That's a lot of money to just be blowing around with.

[D]

75 times 4, 150.

[B]

300.

[D]

300 times 12 is 3250.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

3600 bucks.

[E]

It's actually pretty good math. Nice math. That was good.

[D]

Well, I mean, I've done it a lot of times. This was the first time I added those numbers.

[C]

Just saying, if you cut vaping, I.

[D]

Wouldn'T be able to go to Vegas.

[B]

Then what?

[C]

You could. You could have five racks to go gamble in Vegas. Going to Vegas is cheap, bro. It's, like, the cheapest place.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you need an excuse to go, and if I'm like, oh, I got to burn up this free trip, you know?

[A]

You know, that's so interesting that they would do a free trip to Vegas knowing that, like, you know, most people that are addicted to nicotine also have other vices that they need to scratch.

[D]

Dude, I don't think anyone's ever, like, let their points go that long. I think they get all excited over their 50% off, and they just burn it right away.

[C]

Or it just takes them years and years to get to that amount of points. But you're just climbing the ranks. They might have to change the.

[A]

The point system.

[C]

Like, okay, this is way too attainable. This guy's gone four times now.

[E]

It's like the Pepsi, where's my jet?

[B]

Thing.

[E]

They go like, there's no way anyone's ever gonna buy enough vape to win.

[A]

A trip to Vegas.

[E]

Evan does it in 13 months.

[D]

I literally thought she was kidding to the point, like, I asked her like three times. She goes, no, scan your cardigan and it shows you the available rewards and like, scrolls all the way over. And the only reward I don't have highlighted is the trip to Vegas.

[A]

You want to know what's like, I've unlocked everything. Oh, my God. You're like a king when you walk in there.

[C]

Hasn't even touched a point.

[A]

You know what's crazier though, is you little one is back.

[E]

The dwarf from the 90s.

[B]

Come on.

[C]

You buy vapes at other places than just that store, though.

[D]

Yeah, not anymore.

[E]

Customer retention right there.

[D]

I might start buying other things.

[B]

Just.

[A]

You gotta look like, what? What else could you buy?

[D]

I think they have some fake jewelry in there. I don't know.

[C]

There you go.

[D]

Anything just to run the points up.

[E]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I wonder how many trips to Vegas that they've actually had to give out. When you hit 5,000 points and they do that, I bet they're gonna be like, you know what? He's addicted. Like, we don't have to put a trip either way. Yeah, Yeah. I guarantee nobody in the marketing meeting was like, hey, do we really need to do this?

[E]

Do we need to keep coming back?

[D]

I had been going there for over a year before I even started taking care of my points. I never really did it. I just go buy them just for fun.

[A]

Can you imagine you'd be in the Mykonos with a house by now.

[D]

Well, yeah, with the money I would have won in Vegas on the first trip. Yes. I might not be here right now. Oh, my God.

[A]

We need to keep Evan away. Job security to keep them around. We gotta keep them out of the base store.

[D]

We'll send Ken in once a week in the Mykonos. I won't go.

[E]

Can't ride dirt bike down there.

[A]

Ken, have you been. You got to have some points stored up somewhere.

[F]

I am nowhere near as much as Evan.

[D]

This guy doesn't need any extra excuses for Vegas. He's got a whole list of them all. I'm trying to find some.

[C]

You would think Ken would be getting all the rewards.

[E]

That's what I'm saying. Typically a rewards maximizer.

[F]

Depends on what it's what brings value to me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You got a platinum car.

[E]

Platinum vapist.

[B]

That would be it doesn't feel that.

[D]

Far fetched for them.

[B]

Hit you with. Have you applied for a credit card yet for the vape store? Damn.

[C]

First credit card.

[E]

That is a good. A good thing that Ken has taught all of us, though. There's rewards for Everything. Ken maximizes the out of him. He's got free trips everywhere. He's got points coming back. Ken's the king of that.

[F]

And other people.

[A]

You are good at that, Ken. You are really good at that.

[E]

I watched Tommy G. McGee. Is it just Tommy G or is it Tommy G. McGee? Okay, so Tommy G's video where he went and he hung out with like New York swim team, but it's not swimming. It's where they like drive erratically through traffic, right? And they call it swimming up traffic. And there's one of the guys that's called squeeze bends. It's like one of the most famous ones. And so Neon, a streamer, apparently went and like rode with them. Right. Because Tommy wouldn't get in the car with the guy. He's like, we're not doing this. Well, briefly. And was like, we're not really. Right away. Yeah. So Neon goes and does this for a stream. And I don't really follow streaming too much, but apparently they crashed during the stream.

[A]

No kidding.

[E]

Yeah, like, it's obviously all on live footage, so there's no editing out.

[D]

So this happened since the Tommy G thing?

[B]

Yeah, in front of a hundred thousand.

[E]

But dude, Neon was tweaking.

[D]

Holy.

[E]

Just wait.

[D]

They're.

[A]

They're bobbing and weaving in a Urus like this.

[B]

Oh, my.

[D]

Oh, that wasn't bad. They just got hardly jammed up.

[B]

Now they really gotta kick in gear.

[E]

Yeah, they're in a Urus. And he. Actually, Neon wasn't talking as much in this one as I had remembered, but terrified car behind is the one that hits him. Because squeeze bends is like the guy. And everyone's like, you can't follow him through anything because he will always take the tightest cuts or whatever. And so the person behind him was expecting him to go through this gap, but apparently the story goes that Neon had been yelling at Squeeze so much that he was off his game. And so he stopped when there was a gap that he could have went through. And the car rear ended him. And the car behind him gets up. Like, the airbags go off. Like the front end explodes, like.

[C]

And it was undivable.

[A]

Yeah, it was his buddies sports car.

[C]

They're definitely.

[E]

I mean, they ran by the looks of it.

[C]

Could we finish that? What's he doing?

[D]

Blaming the passenger. You're exactly what I would do.

[A]

Yelling at me.

[C]

Threw me off my game.

[B]

Dude. Got a grown man screaming like a little girl like that.

[C]

Dude, he's terrified.

[E]

Yeah. I mean, honestly, that.

[C]

Was that real? That's like kind of Heart like you're just like dude.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

How the they able to post that on Tick Tock but Evan can't post a wheelie on a dirt bike.

[D]

Yeah, that don't make sense.

[E]

He did get banned on a kick for one day for that. Apparently Neon did.

[C]

Did Neon not realize what he was getting into? Like who the set that up?

[E]

That's what Aiden was saying. He's like, dude, obviously he knew what the he was going to do. Like he went to go do it to make a good stream. Not because he was like surprised. He randomly got in a Lambo with a guy wearing a helmet. Oh, you know he wears a helmet so you can't see his face. And he doesn't talk. Squeeze Benz won't talk.

[D]

Wear a helmet.

[E]

He wore it in that one because it's live and he didn't talk during the stream because they didn't want like the voice.

[C]

He doesn't wear a helmet.

[D]

I'm just saying he wasn't wearing a helmet.

[E]

I'll see if I can find the crap.

[D]

Dude. I'm definitely not riding passenger if the driver's wearing a helmet.

[A]

Just going to the store.

[D]

What the.

[C]

Yeah, that is not cool. The bobbing and weaving traffic. You're going to hurt someone innocent.

[B]

Yeah. It truly is inevitable.

[C]

It's one thing to go drive reckless on a track, hit a wall at 200, I don't care. That's. That's your choice. But doing the driving down an interstate and someone's coming home from school with their kids and you're weaving at 200 mile an hour.

[A]

Have you guys seen the. The tick tocks of the guy that's like rapping or singing along but he's riding the motorcycle.

[B]

Yeah. Glow. And he's literally one handed like mobbing through.

[D]

At least on a bike though. Most of those scenarios, the worst case the bike is gonna like rear end a car and the dude on the bike's gonna be screwed. But like I feel like, yeah, there's a lot less other people involved in the bike one. So I feel a little better about those. But the car ones, I don't like that involving innocent bystanders in your shenanigans.

[E]

So here's the crash from two angles again.

[D]

Oh, that was a weak hit though.

[A]

Oh, it's a pretty nasty hit to pull off, dude. My question is how. How don't they rear end other cars more helmet looks like the stick.

[E]

Like none of those guys in the back are buckled up.

[D]

They look like they're tweaking.

[B]

They're insane for that.

[E]

Freaking crazy, though.

[C]

So those cars, they don't even own. They rent them.

[E]

That's what. I don't know if he rents for sure, but I know a lot of them.

[C]

Does that guy have a Urus?

[E]

I mean.

[D]

Yeah, no, he said he's Lee. I think he's leasing that one.

[B]

Dude, you know who's not leasing their cars? The Kia Boys.

[C]

Yeah, they steal them.

[B]

Andrew Callahan, Channel 5 News, just released like, very similar to Tommy G. Just released like a hour long documentary. It's. It's good considering we kind of into the Kia Boys. We talk about them. One thing that blew my mind, it was like, yeah, it was interesting getting in the heads of the fucking Kia Boys. But they sell them for 50 to $100.

[D]

No, dude, the Kia Boys are kids.

[B]

Yeah. And then it makes sense. He's like, well, we're not like selling the vehicles, like, to people that actually want vehicles to like, daily drive. He's like, we basically like on the weekends we'll go steal Kias and then they'll just sell them for fifty to a hundred dollars to other people who just want to joyride for like a couple hours as long as.

[A]

And then they ditch them.

[D]

But it's also like literally 15 year old kids.

[B]

Yeah, like 15. A lot of these. Yeah.

[D]

Boys are like super young, dude.

[E]

Which got boys in their name. It's just. They're up.

[C]

We got the. The Sea Boys, the Kia Boys. Dude, the Nelk Boys.

[B]

Watch out for the Boosted Boys.

[C]

We got the Boosted Boys. We got the Montana Boys. I just heard about. They're like, tick tocking and.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. People were asking me if we had beef with them. I was like, I don't think so. No.

[C]

I'd have to know. They're dancing.

[A]

We were like, why would we have beef with them? And they're like, because they have boys in their name. I was like, oh, yeah, no, we don't have that. That trademark.

[B]

Yeah, no, we do have beef with the Backstreet Fellas.

[C]

The Backstreet Boys. That's right.

[E]

The Backstreet Fellas.

[C]

Yeah, the Sea Fellas. I might. Maybe that'll be what we do.

[B]

I just got a DM from a distant friend kind of just out of the blue. That was like, genuine question. When are you guys, like, changing your name to C Men? But like, obviously it was still a joke. And then I just fired back. I was like, I don't know. I don't know.

[C]

Hard date.

[B]

When Ben turns 30.

[A]

Oh, that's too soon. No, too Soon. You said that.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

It's five years.

[B]

I mean, it's not set in stone.

[C]

You should have gave him, like, a specific date.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like this day we kind of did.

[D]

When Ben turns.

[C]

Yeah, that is a specific. Ben's birthday.

[A]

I don't know.

[E]

I think that's too.

[A]

What did we tell the muscle? We told the muscle it was, like, a certain day. Okay.

[E]

We just said we need to do that.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Mike, you said something that made me think of this. But the other day, we announced the winner for our truck giveaway. So we, like, go through this company that basically just manages the sweepstakes for us, you know, like, picks the winner. So it's like we're, like, completely hands off with it. And it's legal and completely.

[C]

And it's fair, too. That's the biggest thing. It's like, actually a sweepstakes.

[B]

It's always been legal. But yes, they make sure everything is buttoned and pressed.

[C]

Yeah. And we've done that for a long time now. But. But anyway, so they are the ones who run it.

[A]

So we told the guy. We were like, you know, the contact at the company where he said, hey, this is, like, the. The biggest giveaway we've ever done. We want to be the ones to contact the. The winner first. So, like, hey, you. You won this truck. Hearing it from us first and get the genuine reaction. So we, like, told the guy. The guy didn't listen, and he reached out to the winner, emailed the winner. I forgot about this. Emailed the winner saying, hey, I'm so and so from this sweepstakes company. Congratulations. You're the winner of the seaboz truck. And the winner DMS us on seaboyz saying, like, hey, I just got this email from this person, like, is this real? But I didn't see that till, like, the next day.

[B]

Day.

[A]

But he also emailed us, like, our email, and Mike saw it. And Mike responds, nope, doesn't sound real. Sorry, man. Pretty sure that's a scam. And then I didn't recognize the guy's name. Right.

[B]

He said, so and so just called me from so and so and said, I won the truck. Is that legit? I'm like, nah, man. Thanks for reaching out. Definitely not legit. Have a good one.

[A]

He had been so confused when we.

[E]

Faced roller coaster Dude.

[B]

Mind I sent that email, like, a couple hours before. We called him, like, just unknowing. We'll just get, like, comments, so just watch out for it. I know he said this before, but just people like, Seaboy, like, not the real channel, will just go into our comments and just being like, yo, you won.

[E]

Hit me up.

[A]

Yeah, it's like Seaboy TV Telegram a lot of times or something like that. But I feel like most people that are listening that would be able to understand that you. You're not the winner if it's coming from, like, some random Seaboys TV knockoff website. But, like, it happens a lot. And that's like the unfortunate part with, you know, there's just scam artists out there. And I haven't heard of anybody, like, falling for it or, like, giving any information like that. But, like, I know it's common and, like, it happens. So, like, if you do get reached out to by anyone besides for this.

[B]

One, yeah, that's not us, but.

[E]

But very likely in the future. The way that you will find out if you're winning is face, is you are looking at our face when we say it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So then we.

[E]

The power of AI.

[A]

So we called that guy later, like, a couple hours after Mike sent that email, and he was like, no way, I won. He was like, wait, yeah, I did. Well, I did. And we were like, yeah, you won. Of course, it didn't really make any sense to us at the time, but yeah, we, like, later, I was like, yeah, dude. The guy said he, like, emailed us and then somebody said that he didn't win. And Mike was like, oh.

[E]

Oh, that was me.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I felt bad because they just threw him for like, that's the last thing you want to hear is that. Is that, like, a lot of people get their hopes up, but he got his hopes up and it was real.

[F]

And then Mike throws him for a loop.

[B]

Yeah. And I said it wasn't legit.

[E]

What a roller coaster, dude.

[B]

That's why I'm glad that the call was a couple hours later. Like, he didn't have to, like, just.

[E]

Be like, oh, man. Yeah, wait for like, a couple days.

[A]

He goes, trust me, it was built. It just built up the hype. I got an email late in the morning from the promotions company. I disregarded it, thinking there's no way it was legit. Five minutes later, I get the phone call from Adam, who is our rep at the company. He goes, I asked him, how do I know it's legit and whatnot? Needless to say, I spent the rest of the day going over the rules on your site, trying to figure out if it was the real deal or not. And then I sent this email and then found out it wasn't. What a roller coaster. Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Dude.

[B]

Poor guy gets the FaceTime. That's the biggest giveaway we've ever done. And it was. It was crazy.

[A]

It was. It was cool.

[F]

Shout out to what we've done so far.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, it's only getting bigger from here, but it was like, dang. And also, yeah, I was pretty tied to the Cummins too. Cummins is sweat. Sweet sweat.

[C]

Sweat.

[B]

Coming to the sweat.

[C]

That's the non cheetah way to say sweet.

[A]

Sweat.

[E]

Send us on out.

[C]

Somebody take this away, Ken.

[A]

Yeah, you got it again.

[C]

Close us. Ken.

[D]

Ken, Ken, Ken, Ken, Ken, Ken, Ken.

[C]

Gotta say something.

[F]

Thanks for. Thanks for listening to the Life Wide Open podcast. Don't forget to like like and subscribe.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

And smash the like button. Like, he's smashing.

[C]

I knew he would throw it. I knew he'd throw it.

[B]

Hey, he didn't even break his finger.

[D]

Don't let your meatloaf.