Things We Shouldn’t Say On The Internet But Did

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Things We Shouldn’t Say On The Internet But Did"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Life Wide Open with CboysTV
• Host/Author: CboysTV
• Episode: Things We Shouldn’t Say On The Internet But Did
• Release Date: December 3, 2024

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Introduction

In this episode of Life Wide Open with CboysTV, hosts Gavin, Ben, Ken, Ryan, Liz, Evan, and Micah gather at an Airbnb in Florida, setting the stage for a lively discussion filled with humor, personal anecdotes, and candid conversations. The episode delves into their recent experiences, including racing events, personal relationships, and plans for future content, all while navigating the humorous pitfalls of everyday life.

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1. Racing Adventures and Cletus Event

The conversation kicks off with Ben sharing his exhilarating experience at the Cletus racing event. Initially nervous about participating in a sanctioned race, Ben admits, "I don't know, I was just like, pretty much just reminded time after time also in the same conversation with these same people that I'm a terrible driver" ([19:53]). However, his performance exceeded expectations, leading to a surprising victory.

• Ben’s Success:
  Ben discusses how he managed to qualify first overall despite doubts from peers. "When the race ended, I was just like, damn, I want to do it again because I feel like I can get to first." ([20:22])

• Group Reactions:
  The group expresses astonishment at Ben’s unexpected performance. Gavin remarks, "I don't even know if that's humanly possible. I'm just saying, like, the oval is clearly." ([22:33])

Notable Quote:

"I did the Kidney Bean 3 times and 5 laps. The lap that said that was my fastest was the kidney bean lap." – Ben ([22:09])

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2. Personal Relationships and Breakups

A significant portion of the episode revolves around personal relationships, particularly focusing on Gavin’s recent breakup and Ken’s experiences.

• Gavin’s Breakup:
  Gavin opens up about his split with his girlfriend, mentioning, "You guys have gone your separate ways, but you had a pretty good run." ([26:05]). The group offers playful yet supportive advice, emphasizing self-improvement and resilience.

• Ken’s Advice:
  Ken shares his coping mechanism, advising, "My biggest advice would probably be get in the freaking gym, focus on yourself, and just have fun, man." ([29:47]). This encouragement highlights the importance of personal growth post-breakup.

Notable Quote:

"I just want to make sure that she finds the right man." – Ken ([36:10])

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3. Life in Florida and Future Plans

The hosts discuss their current stay in Florida, contemplating the logistics of accommodating six members in an Airbnb and joking about setting up double-wide houses.

• Accommodation Challenges:
  With six people on the podcast, Ben notes, "We got six of us on the pod. I don't think we've ever had six on the podcast before." ([07:18]). The conversation evolves into humorous debates about sleeping arrangements and Airbnb ratings.

• Travel and Content Ideas:
  The team brainstorms future content, including potential trips to Alaska and South Africa. Evan suggests, "It could be that, like, we go to Alaska and then you go to South Africa. Polar opposite." ([54:39]).

Notable Quote:

"If we wouldn't burn it down on the first night, it'd be a good time. But we'd probably be burnt down." – Ken ([09:47])

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4. Humorous Anecdotes and Group Dynamics

Interspersed throughout the episode are numerous humorous stories and playful teasing among the hosts, contributing to the podcast's lighthearted atmosphere.

• Accidents and Mishaps:
  Ken recounts his recent car crash, humorously admitting, "I pooped myself. To have what?" ([43:20]). This candid admission leads to laughter and further jokes about endurance and resilience.

• Bird Poop Incident:
  A shared story involves a bird pooping on CJ, followed by Evan’s humorous reaction: "I farted on everyone else's. That's funniest thing I've heard all day." ([35:28]).

Notable Quote:

"They just did that to another one, but they filled the chair up with water. So you sit down in the chair and he got soaked." – Evan ([33:58])

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5. Daylight Saving Time and Its Effects

The hosts discuss the impact of daylight saving time on their daily routines and overall mood.

• Adjusting to Darkness:
  Liz expresses her frustration, "I still just am against daylight saving time. Like, it still would get dark early on December 21." ([51:27]). Gavin adds, "As daylight, you feel like you have to be active until it gets dark." ([51:46]).

• Mental Health Considerations:
  The conversation touches on the mental health implications of extended darkness periods, with Gavin noting, "Google it. Well, that's why drug use is so high, too, I think." ([53:19]).

Notable Quote:

"I like it because it gets dark and then it's kind of like, all right, well, go home, make supper, go to bed." – Evan ([50:39])

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6. Future Content and Collaboration Ideas

The group explores innovative ideas for future podcast content, aiming to keep their audience engaged with adventurous and entertaining segments.

• Extreme Challenges:
  They contemplate creating challenge-based content, such as surviving in Alaska or engaging in spontaneous, location-based adventures.

• Collaborations:
  Evan mentions the potential of partnering with popular figures like Mr. Beast, hoping to create impactful content. "We've always wanted to collab with Mr. Beast." ([12:18]).

Notable Quote:

"It would be a really good video." – Ben ([55:55])

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7. Wingman Strategy and Dating Tips

In a humorous segment, the hosts offer playful advice on dating strategies, particularly focusing on Gavin and Ken’s attempts to find new relationships.

• Three-Wheeler First Dates:
  Ken suggests unconventional first date ideas, like riding three-wheelers, blending his redneck persona with romance. "What am I doing? I'm probably taking her on a three wheeler." ([68:00]).

• Shoutouts and Teasing:
  The group teases Gavin about his approach to dating, fostering a supportive yet jocular environment. "I think we gotta go, like, the outside help." – Ben ([71:07]).

Notable Quote:

"Find a girl that you kind of mesh really well with and can find that vibe." – Ken ([69:25])

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Conclusion

Life Wide Open with CboysTV delivers an engaging and entertaining episode that seamlessly blends humor with heartfelt discussions. From racing triumphs and relationship talk to brainstorming future content, the hosts exhibit strong camaraderie and authenticity. Notable quotes sprinkled throughout the episode capture the essence of their dynamic interactions, making it a memorable listen for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Notable Quotes Recap:

• "I want you to be my brother in law Ken." – Ken ([00:07])
• "I feel like we haven't really toasted many Airbnbs." – Ben ([00:29])
• "This podcast is made to support our show and tell them that we sent you." – CJ ([02:27])
• "My biggest advice would probably be get in the freaking gym, focus on yourself, and just have fun, man." – Ken ([29:47])
• "I think we gotta go, like, the outside help." – Ben ([71:07])

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Final Thoughts

This episode stands out for its candidness and the effortless banter among the hosts, offering listeners both laughter and genuine insights into the lives of the CboysTV team. Whether it's navigating the challenges of personal relationships or planning the next big adventure, Life Wide Open with CboysTV continues to deliver content that resonates and entertains.

Transcript

[Gavin]

Just on the sidelines watching these guys do crazy things. I'm like man I want to get in the mix.

[Ben]

Gotta just feel like the ultimate edge.

[Ken]

I want you to be my brother in law Ken. If we wouldn't burn it down on the first night, it'd be a good time. It would probably be burnt down.

[Ben]

I feel like we haven't really toasted many Airbnbs.

[Ken]

Just my house.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Ken]

Now I'm on to hopefully finding a new redneck gal.

[Evan]

I thought you were going to say bigger things.

[Ken]

Dude. Let's set up a double date. Ken.

[Gavin]

The girls don't show up, you guys still run it. You don't like heavies?

[Ken]

I'm over it man.

[Gavin]

What are you into?

[Micah]

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[Gavin]

Dude, so like, I think we should talk about Ken's a sleep farter.

[Ben]

Well, that doesn't surprise me one bit.

[Liz]

Well, I mean, I also think we should talk about that, but I don't know if we should open with that.

[Ryan]

Am I a sleep farter?

[Gavin]

Well, according to Micah, he said your ass is so loose you can't even hold them in when you're not pushing.

[Ryan]

Well, I was. How late in the night was this?

[Liz]

I don't know.

[Evan]

Why does that matter?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I was still consciously pushing those out.

[Liz]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, it was like 1:30.

[Ryan]

And yeah, I was conscious and you did it.

[Liz]

And then I was like, you know, just had to say something because it's always funny. Funny. No, I did. I was like, oh, no. Or no? I just said, oh. And then you just go, it's too late now.

[Ben]

I just can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that. That Ken decided to sleep with Evan and Micah.

[Gavin]

Are you going to run this false narrative?

[Ryan]

So my. My conscious decision?

[Gavin]

Sleeping with them? No, I'm in the G.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah.

[Gavin]

I got voted out of the house.

[Ben]

You know, I was gonna put in the garage. This dude smells so bad.

[Evan]

You're saying you're in the garage, but, like, it's a pretty dope garage.

[Gavin]

Oh, no, it's Liz. Twice as nice as my garage.

[Ryan]

Your own ac. You got a giant couch.

[Evan]

Damn near a living room.

[Ben]

Got a koi pond.

[Evan]

It's like a private living room with a pretty big.

[Liz]

There's a pool table. I'm pretty sure there's even a map.

[Ryan]

You tried to take that pool table down.

[Evan]

I don't know why you took that. Because you're supposed to be in a bed.

[Gavin]

Oh, I took it because there was a big greasy fella in my bed.

[Evan]

So then who's sleeping in the master?

[Ryan]

Ryan?

[Gavin]

You?

[Evan]

That's a king size bed. You didn't want to double up?

[Ryan]

Well, I knew Ryan was going to have to get up earlier than me to do some work, so I consciously said, hey, you can take this bed.

[Evan]

And Ken's name is also on the Airbnb, so I'm trying to keep my.

[Ryan]

Airbnb rating high so I can get all these places.

[Ben]

Do you. Do you have a pretty good rating?

[Ryan]

I still got like a 4.9 star.

[Ben]

That's pretty good.

[Gavin]

Out of five or ten.

[Ryan]

Five.

[Gavin]

Okay.

[Ben]

I feel like we haven't really toasted many Airbnbs.

[Ken]

Just my house.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Did we toast?

[Ben]

What do we do at your house?

[Ken]

Evan just went into the wall.

[Ryan]

I broke a chair in yours too.

[Gavin]

Oh, you mean the family cabin.

[Ben]

Yep. Yep, that's right. Oh, my.

[Gavin]

Because that chair was a Yamaha.

[Ken]

Damn right.

[Gavin]

Can we move this starfish off the table? I don't know why it's there. It might be a candle holder, but I don't like it looking at you.

[Evan]

Cheeto for you.

[Gavin]

Get rid of that remote, too. I don't Know why it's pointing at Ken?

[Evan]

Yeah, he's not a tv.

[Gavin]

A transvestite?

[Evan]

I didn't. Okay, maybe then point it back at him.

[Liz]

No, no.

[Ben]

Television.

[Liz]

Like our channel.

[Ben]

I don't know.

[Evan]

A Tevas.

[Liz]

Tevas. A Tevas Television.

[Gavin]

Oh, television. I forgot what TV stand for.

[Ben]

Well, if you guys haven't picked up, we are currently in our Airbnb in Florida right now. We got six of us on the pod. I don't think we've ever had six on the podcast before. Well, besides for Ken sitting behind the board, I take that back. But in front of the. In front of the cameras, not on the front side.

[Gavin]

This coach is too deep for a short fella.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Evan]

You want a little booster? We could grab a phone book.

[Gavin]

Yeah, do we. Do they even make phone books anymore?

[Ryan]

You want, like, a booster seat?

[Ben]

Yeah, they make phone books to, like, sell neighbors.

[Gavin]

I'm gonna have to sit on a pile of laptops. We don't have phone books anymore.

[Evan]

Grab a couple MacBook airs.

[Ken]

Dude, I freaking love Florida. It's pretty hot out here. You know, I don't know if I could live here full time, but it's a good place. A good place.

[Ben]

I can see you getting a double wide out in Florida.

[Ken]

All a man needs, a heavy. A double wide.

[Ben]

I said that to somebody yesterday. I go. They go, how do you like Florida? I was like, oh, we like it. Well, how's Gavin like Florida? I was like, I think he likes it. I was like, yeah, actually, now that you say that, I could. I could see him getting a double wide here. And they go, he probably just needs a single.

[Liz]

I know. The last thing you need is getting your roof ripped off by a hurricane.

[Ken]

Dude, seriously, man.

[Micah]

Freaking.

[Ken]

Hey. I mean, I have enough Hondas. I'd probably be able to trot off onto the out of there, but I.

[Gavin]

Kind of just got inspired. Gav, I think you should own a double wide or, you know, at least a single wide in every state or everybody.

[Ken]

That's a good idea right there.

[Ryan]

Get some good deals on single wide.

[Gavin]

You know, I'll talk to the rest of the guys, but I bet we can work something out. You probably park a double wide out back by the track. Yeah. If you want one in Minnesota, we could probably help you with that one. You're on your own for the other 51 or however many states.

[Ken]

49, bro.

[Ben]

What about this? What about this 52?

[Gavin]

Well, if you count Puerto Rico or how. I don't know how that works out. 50 states. There's a Couple odd ones.

[Ryan]

Puerto Rico is not a state.

[Gavin]

But we own it. That's what I'm saying. It's 50. It's.

[Ben]

Nobody says that though.

[Liz]

No, it's like how Uranus isn't a state anymore.

[Ryan]

How many stars are on the flag?

[Gavin]

Fifty.

[Ken]

Fifty.

[Gavin]

Nifty. United States. Thirteen original colonies.

[Ben]

Tell all about it one by one to give it a nip.

[Gavin]

Yeah, but anyways, there's two extras, but. Yeah, I didn't.

[Ben]

What about this? What about this? We get a double wide and we put it out the track. Okay. Gavin, you can stay there when you come and visit.

[Ken]

Perfect.

[Liz]

Cody, my snowmobile over it.

[Ben]

Heaven is going to be the sole, like the full time resident there.

[Ken]

So what's that look like?

[Gavin]

Bunk beds for sure.

[Ken]

Three bedroom.

[Ryan]

No, no, Single bedroom.

[Ken]

Single bed.

[Ben]

No, no, no. Two bedrooms. But you're sharing living quarters.

[Gavin]

Like a studio. Double wide. It kind of looks like a school bus. It's just wide open.

[Evan]

Dude.

[Ken]

If we wouldn't burn it down on the first night, it'd be a good time. But we'd probably be burnt down.

[Liz]

I personally don't think that's a horrible idea. And keep in mind, you don't have to live with Evan when you're here, which that's long as you want or as short as you want.

[Ken]

Sounds like a deal to me, man.

[Ben]

Yeah, we've actually been kind of trying to figure out, you know, something that we could pop up like on one of our properties. But if you could like buy an Amazon pop up house or like something like that, I feel like we're getting to that day and age where you can. You should be able to order a house online.

[Ken]

100.

[Ryan]

I see them all the time on Alibaba. Like it's. It's a. Hello, pasta.

[Liz]

Do more. Do more.

[Gavin]

Wait, Ken, try that one more time in English. What'd you say?

[Ryan]

She says like, hello, basa. Let me see if I can find the video.

[Gavin]

You're asking for a kielbasa, like the Polish sausage.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah. I've never seen this.

[Evan]

Like, you hold your mic towards it.

[Liz]

Keep in mind she's speaking English.

[Ben]

Oh, yes. Yeah.

[Evan]

Dude, that's the most Japanese music.

[Ben]

Yeah. Okay, so how do we get one of those I've ever heard? Can you order one, Ken?

[Ryan]

Yeah, she says, like, we ship worldwide, everything.

[Ben]

How much is it?

[Ryan]

I. I never gotten that bad.

[Ben]

Tap on the link.

[Gavin]

They had like a 24 by 32 for like 6 grand.

[Evan]

That's really good.

[Gavin]

I mean, you gotta understand all the expensive things of the house are More than just the walls and the roof. It's the foundation, the toilet and the utility.

[Liz]

The five inch straight pipe, do you need that?

[Gavin]

Well, I don't know. Do you need water to survive? Do I need somewhere to put my shit?

[Ken]

Run a crick down there, man. You're good to go.

[Gavin]

Run a crick. Oh, I saved so much money on my Teemu house, I dug a crick through my property.

[Evan]

Do you.

[Gavin]

I rerouted the lake.

[Ben]

Do you think that the environmentalist would have a problem if we just built it over a crick and just have the right down in.

[Gavin]

The crazy thing is people would have a problem with that, but it's probably the most environmentally friendly thing you could do.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you're not digging into the earth. You're not doing anything else.

[Gavin]

You're just kind of.

[Ryan]

You're just taking what's. What's in nature and you're just reusing it.

[Evan]

I'm pretty sure they do that in like third world countries. And then the water source is polluted and then they can't drink the water. So that's why Mr. Beast goes there and makes wells.

[Ben]

Well, we could send Mr. Beast to Corm.

[Evan]

Have him build a house for. Build a house for Gavin.

[Gavin]

We've always wanted to collab with Mr. Beast. So I have to poison the water.

[Ben]

Saving. Saving a small village.

[Evan]

That's true. You'd be able to get the title.

[Ken]

Not bad, man.

[Ben]

Wasn't Elon Musk living in a like.

[Ryan]

A popup, like a tiny house to come.

[Ben]

Tiny house, Ken.

[Evan]

That's what you should do, bro.

[Ryan]

Like for your new house pop up thing.

[Evan]

It should literally just like. I mean, you love Elon, you love efficiency.

[Ryan]

Realistically, it's all you need.

[Evan]

You go to Zorbas every night after work to close. All you're doing is sleeping. It's just. You just get a little twin size bed, small box and like a nice toilet and you're set.

[Ken]

Yeah.

[Evan]

What you don't eat at home?

[Ryan]

Just a. Just a bedroom and bathroom.

[Gavin]

Has anyone put a one of those pickup bed campers in a cyber truck yet?

[Ryan]

Not that I've seen.

[Gavin]

Maybe you should just consider that.

[Ryan]

Maybe just do that. Just get somewhere to charge the truck.

[Gavin]

And you don't have to drive home. You just stay, stay, stay right in the parking lot.

[Ben]

Ken, what if you built a tree house?

[Ryan]

I did cut down most of the trees there.

[Ben]

Okay. That would make it tough to make.

[Liz]

Firewood for the one tree you have left to make a tree house. Not firewood, sorry, lumber. Gosh speaking of lumber. Ken's gonna be a lumberjack soon.

[Ryan]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ben]

I think he's retiring from being a lumberjack.

[Ryan]

I don't need to do that again. That was, that was rough.

[Ben]

That was, that was solely because of your own actions.

[Gavin]

And I still can't get over that you chopped at that tree for like an hour and a half. But there's like so many people in this world that like swing acts like that for like 12 hours a day, forever. And you act like it was the most cruel and unusual punishment you've ever.

[Ryan]

This was a very undersized ax for what, what we were using it for.

[Evan]

If it would have been bigger, you'd have been heavier and you'd have been even more tired.

[Ryan]

I would have got through the tree twice as fast.

[Gavin]

I think aim was your problem.

[Ryan]

I, I, I know aim was my problem.

[Ben]

And I do not think the axe was the issue.

[Ryan]

I just don't swing an axe ever.

[Ben]

We found that out.

[Ken]

Come on, Ken. How are you going to get firewood for my sister, man?

[Ben]

Oh, oh.

[Ken]

What are you going to do?

[Ryan]

Tell me you were just saying that.

[Ken]

Dude, I'm giving you the chance right now, man.

[Ryan]

I mean, even though she's engaged.

[Gavin]

Don't tell anybody that you have permission to give.

[Ben]

Don't tell anybody that somebody going to tell her that.

[Ryan]

What are you trying to say here?

[Ken]

I want you to be my brother in law, Ken.

[Gavin]

What's your current brother in law like?

[Ken]

Cool, but not Ken.

[Ben]

Kevin.

[Evan]

That's what honor.

[Ben]

Ken, what is your Thanksgiving like when you have to sit across the table from this guy? I love him. When you have gone public, you have gone public with saying hundreds of thousands. I wish somebody else was dating my sister.

[Ryan]

Are you gonna object at this wedding, dude?

[Ken]

I might have to. You want to show up with me, put you on a 250 yard and it'll be over. Rolling up on that.

[Ben]

I think Gavin's just living vicariously.

[Ryan]

What are you talking about, Gav? As much as, as much crap as we give you for not being a true redneck, I think you are trying to be a true redneck.

[Evan]

There is no more of a redneck.

[Ken]

Move, dude, I don't want that. No, thank you.

[Evan]

He's given like, I mean, what an honor, Ken. A redneck like Gavin giving you permission to date his sister, like that's like.

[Ryan]

As good as it gets.

[Ken]

But damn right, Ken. It's all you, man. Just make the right moves. Learn how to swing an axe, man.

[Ben]

That's a very selfless move of You, Gavin.

[Gavin]

The only thing more valuable than that's a 12 valve.

[Ryan]

I don't got one of those. I might have to find one.

[Ben]

Gavin barely has one of those.

[Ken]

Do I even have one anymore?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Why didn't you drive that thing home? Just out of curiosity? After we did the wheels, I was.

[Ken]

Wanting to drive home, but I got so banged up, man, My freaking shins were killing me. My shoulder was bad. It was time to fly home. There was no driving 13 hours home.

[Ben]

Yeah. How you doing, dude?

[Ken]

I'm back to life. Somehow I came out of that tumble pretty darn good.

[Ryan]

I mean, I see your body still, like, you still got some scars from that.

[Gavin]

You still got arms, legs.

[Ken]

Arms, legs. Back is still holding up great. The only thing that really happened is my shin took a heck of a freaking hit. I don't know what happened, but.

[Gavin]

You don't know what happened.

[Ken]

I mean.

[Gavin]

Or you went end over end and rammed him into the steering wheel.

[Ken]

Exactly what happened. But, yeah, freaking A. Besides, that came out pretty darn well.

[Ben]

Yeah, that was. That was pretty insane. Yesterday, I watched Gavin hit this jump in a. In a bone stock van three times.

[Ken]

Bone stock.

[Ben]

Can we pop up some video of it?

[Ken]

I got some on my phone.

[Ryan]

You so. So, Gav. The. The rules were you had to hit this jump one time in a. However many laps. He did.

[Ken]

Yep.

[Ryan]

And you did three times in a row.

[Ken]

I'm not going to lie. I hit it the first time, and it was so much fun. We'll pop.

[Ben]

We can put.

[Evan]

Was it, though?

[Ben]

Was it? Or are you just that much of an entertainer, dude?

[Ken]

No, I was so ecstatic, dude. We were 50ft in the air, probably.

[Gavin]

No, not 50ft.

[Ryan]

We probably maybe five in.

[Ben]

Holy. You hit your head hard, huh?

[Ken]

No, we traveled about 50ft. We weren't 50ft high. That went probably about.

[Gavin]

But you got to add that the jump is the shorter route, so you are. As long as you don't wreck your unit or yourself, you're actually going faster. So there is incentive 100.

[Ken]

And I had a slower van, so I was like, all right, let's get the boys pumped up here.

[Liz]

You did say you were gonna jump it three times. And we're like, you know, you don't have to. Yeah, I'm putting on a show. And then you did, dude, with no harness, too.

[Ken]

That's probably the scariest part about going in the air that big is coming down with a three point harness, which is just a seatbelt and no roll cage. There's no.

[Evan]

I mean, not much precaution it's really dangerous, honestly.

[Ken]

It is kind of dangerous.

[Evan]

Does not get enough credit, in my opinion.

[Ken]

Somehow nobody ever gets hurt. Mainly probably because they're putting the right guys.

[Evan]

They are. That's why.

[Ken]

Right?

[Evan]

Oh, dude. Everyone's, like, preparing their cars and stuff. I walk over to the van, guys.

[Liz]

It's like, all business.

[Evan]

It's a whole different crew. It's a whole different vibe. It'd be like. Like you're out at recess, and then you, like, go around the side of the building to hang with the other guys. Like, you're, like, leaning up on, like, the wall, like, smoking a cigarette. Everyone's doing something.

[Ryan]

I was standing over by Jake's van for a little bit, and he's just, like, hacking away at the windows of the skateboard.

[Gavin]

Dude, you gotta do what you got over there.

[Ryan]

Well, you might have.

[Gavin]

Or did I just run up and blow one of his windows out with my skateboard? Then very nice lady next to us goes, you just shot glass into my van.

[Ben]

Really? Like her real van? Like her.

[Ryan]

No, no, the van Pre van.

[Evan]

Is that girl racing?

[Gavin]

No, I think her husband was okay.

[Evan]

I was like, holy crap, that's crazy.

[Gavin]

Shout out to her. She was very nice.

[Ben]

A woman can't do a V. No, I just.

[Evan]

I just didn't notice that she was out there. I was like, man, that's crazy.

[Ben]

Yeah, it definitely is a different. Different type of man to do that. Evan was pretty insulted that he didn't get asked to do the van pre.

[Gavin]

I don't want to say I was insulted. I just think I should be there.

[Ken]

You definitely should.

[Gavin]

I think I belong there, honestly.

[Ken]

We'll get you in the next one.

[Gavin]

Do you have that control Gaff?

[Ken]

I mean, I'm buddies with Jim. We can figure something out.

[Gavin]

Yeah, you buff. Buff it out real good.

[Evan]

You're 100% in. After that statement of for sure you.

[Ben]

Want to do it.

[Gavin]

100%, bro. You know how hard it is for me. I traveled all the way to Florida for, like, three, four days, and I literally don't get to jump in, like.

[Evan]

Drive, crash, or break.

[Gavin]

Well, no, but Ben and Mike get to raise Gavin, Jake, everyone's doing fun shit. And just on the sidelines watching these guys do crazy things, I'm like, man, I want to get in the mix.

[Ben]

It's got to just feel like the ultimate edge.

[Gavin]

Oh, yeah. And when it comes.

[Liz]

Oh, yeah, you did say it. You're like, dude, I gotta get in one of the next Cletus races or something. Get that itch Scratched.

[Gavin]

Yeah. No. And I. Is it fair to say both Ben and Mike, after racing it, like, you're probably more excited about doing a second one than you were to do the first one.

[Ben]

Yeah, I was actually. I was extremely nervous to do the first one. Everyone I talked to said, you know, there's really nothing to be that nervous about, but I don't know, I was just like, pretty much just reminded time after time also in the same conversation with these same people that I'm a terrible driver.

[Liz]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Seen the unicorn crash?

[Ben]

Yeah. Dude, it was insane. Pretty much every single person I met or talked to, like, hey, how's it going? I'm Ben. Hey.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Somewhere in that conversation the unicorn crash came up or. Or like seeing an old friend of like, dude, how you doing, man? I'm gonna stay out of your way. Like, I'm like, oh my God. Word is spread. It was definitely more fun than nerve wracking. Like, after. After doing it, I understand why people race. Like, I was trying to think yesterday, like, if I've actually been in like a sanctioned race before, you know, that's like legit against other competitors. Not for our YouTube video.

[Evan]

I don't.

[Ben]

I don't know if I ever have. So I was like, pretty. That's why I was pretty nervous going. Going into it. Yeah. Cuz I've never really done that. And then after doing it, I was like, oh, I get why people do this. It's like the thrill of. Of almost like impressing yourself of like, oh, I did better than I thought I was gonna do. Or I could hang with these guys and just like, you're so close to like first place and you're just like, I could. I feel like I can get there. I can get there. And that's when. When the race ended, I was just like, damn, I want to do it again because I feel like I can get to first.

[Liz]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Both of you guys did so much better than I think any of us expected.

[Ben]

I think. Yeah, that was pretty much like the overwhelming response after the race. They were like, didn't expect that.

[Ryan]

Just. Just the fact that you qualified first.

[Liz]

Was like, that was crazy.

[Ben]

Still not sure about how that one happened.

[Gavin]

It was a great Cletus.

[Evan]

Maybe Cletus threw us a bone. I think he or you were just that fast.

[Liz]

He came up to me and went like, ben qualified first. How do you do that? And I was like, yeah. And I'm like, I don't know. You tell me.

[Ben]

Evan still. Evan still is denying that I. That could even be possible.

[Gavin]

I mean, there's a kidney bean in the track, and you guys were there. I did do the kidney bean, but it's only one lap. You guys run 3 laps or 5?

[Ken]

3.

[Ben]

I did the Kidney Bean 3 times and 5 laps. The lap that said that was my fastest was the kidney bean lap.

[Gavin]

I don't even know if that's humanly possible. I'm just saying, like, the oval is clearly.

[Ben]

I don't know. But you think that they would just toss it out.

[Evan]

Yeah, Ben was following other people, too. They also missed the kidney being.

[Gavin]

I mean, I was unbelievably hyped and proud of you for how it went. It just simply doesn't make that qualifying time doesn't make sense, that's all.

[Ryan]

I just don't get how you qualified second in your heat, but first overall.

[Ben]

Yeah, there's a lot of things that don't make sense, but there's a lot of things that aren't adding up.

[Liz]

Can we get it? Like what? What do we do overall? Sixth.

[Gavin]

Seven.

[Liz]

Seven.

[Ben]

Seven, I think.

[Liz]

Not bad.

[Ryan]

Seven three, but I don't remember.

[Liz]

I got a little funny story to tell. One of the dads that works at the Freedom Factory, his son was a big fan. Not sure how old he was, but let's say he's 10.

[Gavin]

Shout out to him.

[Liz]

Yeah, duty. He was so funny. And early in the morning, he's like, hey, I got you and Ben on the race. And I was like, you might want to reconsider. But honestly, I appreciate that so much. And all day he's rooting us on like crazy. Micah, you better win all this. And then at the end of the race, he was so hyped on how well we did, and he's like, I think you did well because, you know, the. Is it the transceiver transmitter and spawn receiver race, whatever that. That they talk to you in? He's like, I kissed your race before I gave it to you. And I was like, all right, I appreciate that. You know, trying to give us good luck. And then he's like, walking away. He's like. And I farted on everyone else's. That's funniest thing I've heard all day. And I'm like, man, you really did want us to win all those other pink eye.

[Ben]

Yeah, they get, like, earaches. Anybody else have an ear infection today?

[Ken]

You guys killed it.

[Liz]

Thanks, guys.

[Gavin]

Thanks, Cletus.

[Liz]

Thank you, Cletus.

[Ken]

Thanks, Cleat.

[Micah]

Thanks so much for sponsoring the podcast Shopify, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday has come and gone. But there is still a ton of holiday shopping to be done. And if you're going to go and shop on our website, cboys tv.com you will be browsing on a website made using Shopify. Shopify is home to the number one checkout on the planet. And if you have a business and you're not using Shopify, you're only hurting yourself and your business. We absolutely love Shopify and I know that you will too. It's no secret businesses that want to grow grow with Shopify. Shopify makes it easy to customize your online website, add discounts and much more. If you haven't tried Shopify yet, you need to upgrade your business and get the same checkout that we [e-mail] and sign up for your $1 per month trial [e-mail] wide open. That is all lowercase. So go to shopify.com wide open now to upgrade your selling today. That is shopify.com wide open. Thank you so much Shopify for sponsoring the podcast. One Skin is here to make a difference in your skin because of the difference in their product. The difference between One Skin's and others on the market is One Skin is formulated with the proprietary OS01 peptide. This is a peptide that the four founders who are all skin longevity scientists developed after testing 900 other ingredients so scientifically proven to switch off the aging dysfunctional cells that cause collagen to break down and compromise the skin barrier. I've been using One Skin because below zero temps are hard on us up here in Minnesota. Thankfully, One Skin makes my skin look and feel healthy. Founded and led by an all woman team of skin longevity scientists, One Skin is redefining the aging process with their proprietary OS1 peptide. The first ingredient proven to help skin look, feel and behave like its younger self. Get 15% off with code wide [e-mail]. that's 15% off oneskin co with Code Wide Open. After you purchase they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Invest in your health and the longevity of your skin. With One Skin, your future self will thank you.

[Evan]

Gav, can we talk about how you don't you're not with your girlfriend anymore or. No.

[Ken]

Let's run.

[Ryan]

Are you ready?

[Ben]

Actually, you don't have to go.

[Gavin]

So are you ready for piled up half an NBA basketball?

[Ben]

Don't, don't, don't, don't.

[Evan]

I feel like you owe it to the audience because you met this gal on the show and now, you know, you guys have gone your separate ways, but you had a pretty good run.

[Ken]

Had a great run.

[Evan]

Like longer than anyone expected. Nothing. It's just like. It's like, you know, you look at these game shows, these love shows, you don't think that the people are actually going to, you know, kindle a relationship from it. And I mean, you.

[Gavin]

You.

[Evan]

How long was it? Seven months.

[Ken]

Seven months. I found love. I mean, I. You guys did help me find love. It just wasn't the right fit.

[Evan]

She was a nice girl, though.

[Ken]

She was an awesome girl, but just didn't like three wheelers quite as much as I thought she did.

[Ben]

It's always a three wheeler, Gav.

[Ryan]

I remember you bringing up that you were trying to thicken her up, but she wasn't getting thick fast enough.

[Ken]

I don't think she liked that part either.

[Ben]

I can't imagine why.

[Evan]

Just mashed potatoes. That's it.

[Gavin]

You can see Gav adding three extra sticks of butter to like every meal. Food that doesn't even deserve butter.

[Ken]

Dude, she was freaking awesome. It just wasn't, you know, just didn't completely go together all the way.

[Evan]

So was it?

[Ken]

Now I'm on to hopefully finding a new redneck gal.

[Evan]

I thought you were going to say bigger things.

[Ken]

And that too.

[Ben]

Not better, but just bigger things.

[Ken]

Definitely not better.

[Gavin]

Dude, honestly, her loss. Where else is she going to find a half ass redneck with a twike and a 12 valve?

[Ken]

She's not. I mean, you can't find that, right?

[Gavin]

One of a kind guy.

[Evan]

Not with all those NBA players she's hanging around, I'll tell you that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, like you always say, she ain't a lady unless she's 280.

[Ken]

Damn right. Thank you, Ken. I'm gonna keep that in the back of my head, brother.

[Ben]

She traded in the 12 valve for a Range Rover. A Rolls Royce.

[Gavin]

Whack, bro.

[Ken]

Whack is right. Whack is right. What's that about?

[Ben]

Yeah, what's up with her?

[Ken]

I don't know, man. I don't know.

[Ben]

Must I be thinking with that?

[Ken]

No, I mean, what the heck's that about? 12 valves forever. Can't beat them. It's the best motor ever made.

[Gavin]

If they're the best, why are they so slow?

[Ben]

Bro, yours couldn't even do a burnout.

[Evan]

Yeah, dude, wait for someone to give.

[Ken]

Me a hard time about that. I don't know. I don't got anything to say about that. Besides, that's the 1989 model. So there is those Things came extra dog. Like, dude, that's just a freaking dog I have.

[Ben]

What if you. What if you saw her, like, start dating another guy, but he had a 12, 24.

[Ken]

Second genuine burnout.

[Liz]

That reminds me of. That reminds me of real.

[Ben]

He's got four wheelers of real bros.

[Ken]

Can you imagine?

[Liz]

Dude, that reminds me of real.

[Ben]

You were close, but not quite. It's all right.

[Ken]

It's how she goes sometimes, man. I'm sure we'll help. Yeah, you guys will probably help me find love again, right?

[Evan]

Was it. Was it mutual?

[Ken]

It was definitely pretty mutual. Yeah. It's kind of just like, definitely pretty.

[Gavin]

Those are contradicting.

[Ken]

It was mutual.

[Evan]

Were you crying, dude?

[Gavin]

I was.

[Ken]

I wasn't crying. I was upset, though.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Ken]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Something that kind of, like, was a slow burn, or is it kind of like a sheesh can get it.

[Ken]

Let's go into it.

[Evan]

Like, did you have trouble sleeping for the next week?

[Ken]

Dude, I was definitely upset about.

[Gavin]

How much weight did you lose?

[Evan]

Trouble eating. A lot of trouble eating.

[Ken]

I still cooked up a steak that night.

[Evan]

You are handling it pretty well. Do you have any advice to any of the listeners that are potentially going through a hard breakup right now? Because I'm sure there's. There's plenty. Out of, you know, the 100 and whatever, 150, 000 listings.

[Ken]

My biggest advice would probably be get in the freaking gym, focus on yourself, and just have fun, man. That's really all I'm doing right now is just keep having fun, have fun down here.

[Gavin]

That was not the advice I was expecting. He's like, grab a three wheeler, get out in the woods, hang out with the boys. But you're hitting the gym now.

[Ken]

Well, dude, that. I mean, how the heck am I still walking? I've pretty much. Yeah, I'd say that's due to me staying in the gym and keep on working out.

[Evan]

You can't just only hit trees.

[Gavin]

You kind of finally are admitting that you're human because for years it was. You could eat any fall with no repercussion. But now you know, you couldn't even drive home, dude.

[Ken]

I couldn't.

[Gavin]

You needed to fly.

[Ken]

I know.

[Gavin]

Bad. And now you're. And now you're in the gym, right?

[Ken]

I'm getting a little bit older, but I'm just staying on top of it. I'm still walking. Great. The body feels awesome.

[Ryan]

Are you delusional on how you feel? Because you were saying, we were asking, like, are you feeling good? And you're like, so good, baby. As you're like hobbling up the stairs.

[Ken]

I was still feeling so good.

[Liz]

Ken, that was great.

[Ben]

How you doing, Gav? So good. He go, how are you?

[Ken]

Are you good, Gav?

[Liz]

Oh, yeah, baby. 100. And I go a hundred percent. And you go 70, maybe 30.

[Gavin]

When you walk down that flight of stairs, you had two hands on the same railing and you had to go one step at a time.

[Ken]

Too many times have I had a freaking. I hate that you guys don't have a bathroom upstairs, because that really hurts.

[Ben]

We'll put one in just when you.

[Evan]

Come over, when you're freaking injured and you don't have to walk down the stairs in the middle of the night every time, man drinking.

[Ken]

So, like the last last two days, I'm there. It's just hobbling stairs every time, every time.

[Gavin]

At the very least, I'll get you a five gallon bucket with the lid and the seat and, you know, we'll make do.

[Ken]

Make a shitter in there.

[Evan]

I thought you said you didn't want that, Evan.

[Gavin]

I didn't want what?

[Evan]

Remember when we were talking about earlier and I said, perfect. You said, where am I supposed to put my shit?

[Liz]

And then he said, five gallon bucket.

[Evan]

You said, no, I'm not doing that.

[Gavin]

Well, I mean, I don't want to be shitting in a five gallon bucket, but, like, if Gavin wants us to build another bathroom on the second story of our shop, like, let's just meet in the middle and buy him a bucket.

[Ryan]

Backs all jammed up. Don't want to go down the stairs and.

[Micah]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gavin]

Or if, like, if I was on the injured reserve, I had a blowout leg or something. Like, I'd probably run a bucket for.

[Evan]

Ken would be up in his office, and then you'd walk by and you'd see him shitting in a bug and you're like, ken, what are you doing? Oh, I just didn't want to go downstairs.

[Gavin]

I just see us all eating lunch and Ken doesn't really address any of us. He just walks out the door carrying a five gallon bucket.

[Ryan]

Go dump it in the ditch.

[Ben]

I went to the ditch.

[Evan]

That's what Gavin's gonna ride in. Don't do that.

[Gavin]

Have fun down there, Gavin.

[Ben]

That's fun.

[Liz]

I still just imagine like, you're about to go wash your car and you like, grab a bucket to start loading up with soap and water and a sponge and you're like, damn, whoever washed their car before this was really filthy.

[Ben]

Why was there corn on their car around his truck?

[Liz]

You're rinsing it out.

[Ryan]

Ah, this water sh. Smells a little bit.

[Liz]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Have you guys been seeing, like, all the clips of the streamer? Vitali going crazy?

[Evan]

Yeah, dude.

[Liz]

Wait, really?

[Ken]

What's he doing?

[Ben]

You guys know who Vitali is?

[Liz]

Yeah, I haven't really, like, kind of heard about him in. In a minute here and there, but.

[Ben]

Well, he started. He started streaming and, like, I think he does, like, 24 hour streams. Like. Like things that will make a man go crazy. Honestly, can you imagine your entire life being filmed at all times and you not being. And you not being mentally. All right, like, where that could go. I've just been, like, seeing these clips of him just, like, going berserk and, like, firing his cameraman and, like, just being so weird. I was wondering if you guys are getting those too.

[Evan]

No, not really. But we did talk about this in the past. We gotta bring this clip back up. Remember when he has the. The child predator and then he freaking invites him over and they have the fake broken chair and he sits down to.

[Ben]

They just did that. They just did that to another one, but they filled the chair up with water. So you sit down in the chair and he got soaked. Yeah.

[Evan]

That is so funny.

[Gavin]

I think I said the exact, exact thing last time, but I'll say it again. Like, I am so for that.

[Evan]

Yeah, dude, I don't feel bad for the person at all.

[Gavin]

I saw one the other day where they got the dude to strip all the way down naked and was in the bubble bath before they came in to confront them. So you have five grown men and a camera crew, and you're in a bubble bath naked, and they start interrogating you. Like, what are you doing? I'm just hanging out.

[Evan]

Just hanging out.

[Ken]

Like something you guys would do to me.

[Ben]

Not the best timing on that, though, G. And you're so into. Yeah, you're not so with your sister, though.

[Gavin]

Oh, God.

[Evan]

Sorry, sorry.

[Gavin]

Shout out.

[Ken]

Dude, no, don't be saying that.

[Evan]

It's a redneck thing. Redneck joke. Sorry. Redneck joke.

[Ben]

You would imagine it would be a.

[Evan]

Really funny, really funny prank.

[Gavin]

Why?

[Ben]

I don't know. You shout her out and Gavin said, do not be saying they don't be.

[Gavin]

That's. That's why I shouted her out. Just to fire Gav up a little bit. I noticed this true love, you know, it's kind of one of those brotherly things.

[Ryan]

I poke a gap, get so defensive about her sometimes.

[Ken]

Not true love. I mean, I love her as a sister, of course, but.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, like a redneck sister.

[Ken]

Ken no, no, just a sister, man. Just normal, average sister.

[Evan]

Stepsister.

[Liz]

Cj.

[Ben]

She's a step sister.

[Evan]

I mean, what?

[Ken]

She is. That's it, man. I don't know, dude.

[Micah]

Everybody.

[Ken]

I don't know. Freaking A. She keeps getting weird messages, though, from people. From her. People are looking up her tanning company now from the last video we made a year and a half ago.

[Ryan]

Still.

[CJ]

Still.

[Gavin]

And shout out her tanning company, tinted.

[Ryan]

By Lex and Lou.

[Ken]

Plug him.

[Ben]

Wait, and What?

[Ken]

No, just saying good job on Ken. Spray tan. And yes. Yeah, nothing too crazy, but great job on. Came a couple people asking for a number here and there. That piss you off sometimes? No, actually, no, it doesn't.

[Gavin]

It's fair if it pisses you off. What's important is the reason why it pisses you off.

[Ken]

It doesn't piss me off. It's just. I want to make sure that she finds the right man.

[Gavin]

I thought you said she was engaged.

[Ken]

He might be the right man, but he might be.

[Ryan]

Or he is.

[Ken]

Ken, we're waiting to see if you step up to the plate or not, man.

[Ryan]

You know, I'm not stepping on a little man's territory right now. So.

[Ben]

Right now, what are you waiting for?

[Ryan]

You know, it's. It's your sister. I'll let you do whatever you want with her, okay? Step. Step sister?

[Ken]

No, bro, no. Definitely not, man.

[Ben]

Oh, dude, I would love to just sit down with her fiance and you.

[Evan]

Yeah, we should do like an interview.

[Ben]

And just be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

[Ken]

It sucks because he is a fan, too. I mean. Yeah, it's not. It does feel bad.

[Gavin]

Oh, he's a fan.

[Ken]

He's a fan.

[Gavin]

Thanks, brother.

[Liz]

Appreciate it.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, man isn't like a firefighter.

[Evan]

Wow. What a noble job. And you're just out here, just drag him through the mud, just throwing shade at him. Yeah.

[Ken]

Sorry, Lexi.

[Ben]

Dude, this just sucks so much.

[Ken]

Like, dude, I was so close to being his best man, too, until we dropped the last podcast.

[Gavin]

No way. You got kicked out because of that or off the list?

[Ken]

I wasn't invited yet, but, yeah, I'm not on the list now. They have me freaking greeting people in the parking lot or whatever, bro.

[Gavin]

My sister put me as a greeter, too. I just got drunk.

[Ken]

There we go. I'm going to do this. Whack is.

[Ryan]

You're not even probably showing up drunk.

[Evan]

No.

[Ken]

Nothing. Just nothing.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Ken]

Right?

[Ben]

Who would have thought?

[Ken]

I don't know, man. It's all right, though. Ken, step up to the plate, man.

[Ryan]

So you're you're giving me the green light.

[Ken]

Go for it, man.

[Liz]

I mean, at least, you know, he's not an ax murderer.

[Evan]

Damn right about true, dude.

[Ben]

Dude.

[Liz]

Although, one time when you guys went to the Vikings game or something. Remember when Ken did. You know the arcade game, the punching game? You got a one.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, that was in Nashville.

[Liz]

Nashville, yeah. Like, that's more impressive than getting a 9, 9, 9, 9.

[Evan]

That's so hard to do, is punch as hard as you can and then just. Just graze it.

[Ryan]

I think I, like, backed up, and then there was, like, somebody behind me.

[Liz]

Oh, yeah, you elbowed them.

[Ryan]

And I think I, like, elbowed them and then kind of like just barely tap the thing.

[Gavin]

I always say I've broke zero bones, but I do have this broken pinky, and one time I fractured my foot, but I feel like those don't count. I've never had a cast. I've never been jammed up. I also fractured my hand on one of those punching bag machines because I had too many Mountain Dews and missed the bag and punched the machine rock solid. We'll pull the pickup. But my hand was five times the size of a normal hand.

[Ben]

I've met a couple people that have done that. Like, I think that's more common than you would think.

[Ryan]

I think those have been removed from a lot of places for that reason.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Ben]

I don't believe it.

[Gavin]

I think I might have googled it or whatever. Like, because every game, there's a trick to it. So I'm like, how do you get the high score?

[Liz]

Mark Robert did a. I think you.

[Gavin]

Just got to be like, I don't even know who that is.

[Liz]

I know.

[Gavin]

But either way, you want to hit the bag thin to maximize the pendulum effect, because it's how hard it swings in.

[Ryan]

You want to hit it on the lowest, low side of it.

[Gavin]

Hit the low side. Like, you want to barely catch the bag on the bottom. You want to maximize the swing. So if you punch the bag in the middle, as opposed to punching it at the very bottom, it's going to.

[Ryan]

Get the most speed as it's swinging up.

[Gavin]

Yes. So you want to aim for the bottom of the bag. So when I did it, I was actually had a plan.

[Ryan]

Well, you just missed by a little bit.

[Gavin]

I think I closed the wrong eye. That was my problem. I need to close my left eye when I'm punching. I think I closed my right.

[Ben]

I don't know. Hey, why is that a thing? Do you close an eye?

[Liz]

I mean, maybe when you're seeing double.

[Gavin]

You gotta square up somehow.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah, I suppose.

[Liz]

And those mountain dudes were strong. Yeah, it's like there's a sensor, and just however fast the sensor is, like, closed is, so the more velocity you have. But punching the machine's way funnier.

[Ben]

If I were to bet on who was sitting on this couch that could punch the hardest, I would have to put all my money on Gavin.

[Liz]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

100%, actually.

[Ken]

It's all about technique, and I can't. I was at the bar a couple weeks ago, and these guys are throwing haymakers on this thing. They look over at me.

[Gavin]

We're talking about a real punch to the nose, Gav.

[Ken]

Oh, punch the. No, I mean, yeah, but I. Dude, I went on that machine, and I did terrible. These guys are all hyping me up. Dude, you're gonna kill it. You're gonna kill us. Like, I got a bump shoulder. I really can't do this. I go up there and punch, like, a 600. Some girl goes up and does a seven. I was like, oh, God.

[Evan]

Did you step into it?

[Ken]

I tried to do everything I could, man.

[Evan]

You stepped into it, dude.

[Ken]

I'm not good at technique or anything like that. I kind of just go and raw dog it. That's kind of just how I do everything. And it was. It didn't work on that one.

[Ben]

Yeah, I think. I think Greta did better than you can. Well, I mean, everyone did.

[Ryan]

Every single person did better. You can't do. You cannot do any worse than I did, man.

[Gavin]

You could miss and break your hand.

[Ben]

I love walking in there and seeing one of those machines, though. And then, like, looking around of, like, who's with our crew? And like, all right, let's. Let's square up, dude. I remember the girls are, like, getting loose like, they're about to do some damage.

[Liz]

I remember when we were in Wyoming, they had a kickball version of one. Like, you'd kick it as hard as you could. That was kind of fun. Also could end badly.

[Ben]

Remember it? We fest a couple of years ago when people used to, like, paint bowling balls as soccer balls.

[Gavin]

That is. That's messed up.

[Ryan]

That is like. Like, that is messed up. I was gonna say. I was gonna say something else.

[Ben]

Yeah, it is, Ken. Then what? You just sit there and watch people break their foot. Like, what kind of enjoyment is that?

[Gavin]

I wouldn't want to be the one responsible for planting it. But say I saw the guy plant it. I might shelter at a safe distance the other way just to watch, because that's pretty funny. It's Very bad. But pretty funny.

[Ben]

I do believe that, Evan, because literally today you said, nothing makes me happier than seeing other people having problems.

[Gavin]

That is taken so out of context.

[Ben]

No, it's not out of context at all. A bird shit on Mike's hat.

[Evan]

And then you flung it on me.

[Ben]

And then you were crying, laughing, and then you followed up me going, man, you're an. To you going, nothing makes me happier than other people's problems.

[Liz]

There's a pun. There's a pun in there.

[Gavin]

Remember you say the pun. I can't remember what I said.

[Liz]

Remember either. Something. You know, you're like, ah. You know, I. I love when bad happens to people.

[Evan]

Bad happens to other people. That's how he said it.

[Gavin]

Exactly.

[Evan]

And it was because he had other.

[Gavin]

People and he had a bird pooped on his head. Like, I don't want bad things to happen to other people. But when a bird poops on one of my best friend's heads, like, I'll be like, oh, it's awesome. When bad happens to good people or whatever. I don't know.

[Ben]

And then.

[Ryan]

And then I capitalize on their. Their misery.

[Ben]

And then I was flinging. Or I had Mike's hat and I was like holding it over Evan's head and he was like, oh, get that out of here.

[Gavin]

Get that out of here.

[Ben]

And he smacks it. And then the lands on CJ.

[Gavin]

It was shirtless.

[Ben]

And CJ's like, Dude, what the heck? And then Evan's like, great. Now I have to act like I feel bad.

[Evan]

Dude.

[Gavin]

Just the hot Florida sun. CJ sitting there shirtless, kind of lathered up. He's got bird shit smeared in the sweat.

[Evan]

Oh, well, it was funny.

[Ken]

Dude, you were way sorry when I crashed that 250R and pooped myself. To have what?

[Evan]

You showed me that video like three times.

[Ben]

We did get to the bottom of it. You did poop yourself. Yeah, a little bit.

[Ken]

Little squirt stained. Sorry. Dude. That was a high impact from a 250 R. You can't blame me on that one. Dude.

[Evan]

How is that possible? Like, did you just have it?

[Gavin]

You.

[Evan]

You needed to go to the restroom, but you're like, no, I need to.

[Ben]

Ride this three wheeler.

[Evan]

Like, you just hit hard enough that it just somehow came out of nowhere.

[Gavin]

100 the terminal velocity. He came down so hard his whole body and all the in it was Moving at like 70 miles an hour down. His body stopped the didn't.

[Ken]

There you go.

[Liz]

And your cheeks are.

[Evan]

Don't just rip.

[Ben]

No. I think he just sneezed. Oh, he ripped out of his hinder. Man. We are out of pocket.

[Gavin]

Track a window.

[Ben]

Do something about being in Florida. I swear. Brings out just, like, the worst behavior in us or like the worst manners maybe.

[Liz]

Right. Well. And it's something about like, just a bunch of dudes standing in a bnb, you know, like everyone just. Everybody just gets a little raunchy, I guess.

[Ken]

We get raunchy?

[Gavin]

Yeah.

[Evan]

What do you mean?

[Liz]

He just. He literally farted. And Evan could not even control his composure one bit. We're losing control.

[Ryan]

Everywhere. It doesn't matter what state we're in.

[Gavin]

But it sounded like someone just tore open a heavy duty burlap sack. Did you guys hear that?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Liz]

No, I'm just saying we could be in a BNB in Nebraska and we'd be laughing at the same shit. It doesn't matter if we're in Florida.

[Ben]

Yeah. I guess the whole, like, calling it BNB is kind of making me uncomfortable. Maybe bnb. The bnb, baby.

[Liz]

I suppose because you were thinking it was a bed and breakfast, which would be weird if we all went to that.

[Ben]

Can you imagine if Ken booked us an Airbnb and the host stayed with us and made us breakfast? That'd be amazing. Breakfast. But, like, was just kind of always just there.

[Evan]

They wouldn't like it.

[Ryan]

We saved $13 by letting the host stay with us for the night. It's totally going to be worth it.

[Ben]

Dude, that's weird, man.

[Evan]

Isn't that an option?

[Ryan]

No, not. Not for this one, but who would want it? I think you got to, like, rent out, like, single rooms.

[Liz]

It could be like a good horror movie scenario or, like, comedy movie scenario. If you end up he's just some crazy dude that ends up taking on the wildest night ever.

[Ryan]

I forget who it was, but they were saying they flew into a city. They had rented a single room in a house, which was, like, because it was cheap. And they. They showed up and all he wanted to do is go to bed. And their kids were just being absolute terrorists the whole night.

[Ben]

Know if you could say that, Ken.

[Evan]

Were they part of what group were they with or.

[Ryan]

Neighborhood.

[Gavin]

Neighborhood Crips.

[Liz]

Neighborhood Terror.

[Evan]

Neighborhood Terrace.

[Micah]

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[CJ]

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[Ben]

You guys feel like it's like really dark out really soon? Yeah, more than normal.

[Liz]

Yeah, it's just daylight savings time.

[Ben]

No, I know, but it's like every year I just forget.

[Evan]

Yeah, it's wild, dude.

[Ben]

It just seems like that and it's just gone. Gone.

[Ken]

What time does it get?

[Gavin]

I don't know.

[Evan]

Why?

[Ben]

4:30.

[Ken]

4:30.

[Evan]

Dude, I don't know why, but I kind of like it.

[Ben]

Really?

[Gavin]

Yeah.

[Ben]

You would love Alaska.

[Evan]

I wouldn't like it year round, but it's just nice because it's like it gets dark and then it's kind of like, all right, well, go home, make supper, go to bed. Like it keeps you on more of a schedule. Whereas like summer, you're just running around till like 10, 11 o'clock. Then it's finally dark. It gets darker. Like 9, 30, 10. And then you're eating dinner and you're doing whatever else. So you just like, takes a while to wind down. But I don't know, I just kind of like.

[Ben]

Interesting point, cj. I've never thought of it that way.

[Evan]

Like, I'm enjoying just like, oh, it's night now. All right.

[Ryan]

I just really hate the fact that, you know, when I go to the shop in the morning, sun is just starting to come up. And then when I'm going home, it's like pitch blackout. Yeah. It's like you're in a tin building. You just never see the sun during the day.

[Evan]

But you have windows now, so that's, that's, that's a break.

[Ryan]

It is nicer, but it's like, you know, you're still just in a building and you go home, you like, you never actually see the sun.

[Liz]

I think you're on a very good point, cj. I still just am against daylight saving time. Like, it still would get dark early on December 21, the shortest day of the year. It still is like dark gets dark at 4:30. It could just get dark at 5:30. Still pretty early.

[Gavin]

You know, as daylight, you feel like you have to be active until it gets dark. But when it gets dark early.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gavin]

It just makes it okay to go. Go home, watch a little TV on the couch. Yeah, but during the summer you're never gonna do that. It's like it's still light out. We gotta keep rolling.

[Evan]

It's for sure lame of me to enjoy it, but I'm on that same valley.

[Gavin]

I enjoy it too. I didn't want.

[Evan]

It's just nice. Like, I don't know, it's kind of like getting a little breather.

[Ken]

Sucks how much film time you lose though. You mean?

[Evan]

Yeah, you just gotta start earlier though. That's the thing. And I like that too, because then it's like we're not starting as late. So you're just utilizing the day better.

[Liz]

But is there still less light?

[Gavin]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Like, I think in October we lost like 70 minutes of daylight.

[Ben]

You lose two minutes in the morning, two minutes at night.

[Liz]

We're never going to financially recover from.

[Gavin]

So when do you start gaining again, Ken?

[Ryan]

December 22nd. It starts going the 22nd.

[Evan]

So, I mean, we're damn near to where it's going to be. Uphill or downhill, I should say.

[Ben]

Man, can you imagine living in Alaska where it's dark 24, seven?

[Ryan]

That would suck well, it goes dark 24. Seven to being light 24.

[Ben]

Both of those would suck, but.

[Gavin]

And there's the transition in between. So, like, the actual severe 100 darks and the hundred percent. What is it smaller?

[Ben]

How long is it dark? It's dark for, like, 20 some days.

[Liz]

But even the days on either end where you have three hours of light, like, that would be annoying.

[Ryan]

I think it would mess with your sleep schedule so bad.

[Liz]

What's that?

[Ryan]

You could. Well, I know you don't have, you know, normal people have that.

[Ben]

I'd be curious, like, what the percentage of, like, depressed people are up there.

[Gavin]

Oh, it's through the roof. It really is.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Gavin]

Google it.

[Ben]

Well, that's why drug use is so high, too, I think. I think, like, there's, like, a huge drug influx in areas like that. You ever watched what's the cop show? Like, Alaskan.

[Ryan]

Alaska State Troopers or something?

[Gavin]

There's lots of parts of Alaska, I think, that are dry to try to help with. You know, I mean, there's a lot of issues with all the day, all the night.

[Ben]

It's, like, dry.

[Gavin]

You can't drink. Alcohol is illegal in parts of Alaska.

[Ben]

Really?

[Gavin]

Maybe it has to do with the sleep schedule in the sunlight or maybe it doesn't.

[Evan]

But we should go to Alaska and do, like, a video or two. It's tough because, like, you can't really do a whole lot of hunt. You can't really do any hunting or they even kind of throttle fishing. But we, like, figure out a way to, like, do an Alaskan experience type of thing. Like, obviously we go, like, dog sledding. That'd be lit. But, like, I feel like you gotta, like, you know, survive off the land or just, like, do a bunch of that stuff. I think it'd be cool, maybe even snowmobiling. You do, obviously snowmobiling if there's snow up there.

[Ryan]

I think we could come up with like, a. Like, a challenge series where we have to, like, do so many different, like, checkpoints throughout Alaska. And I think we could do it up there pretty easy.

[Evan]

It could be that, like, we go to Alaska and then you go to South Africa. Polar opposite. Opposite sides of the world. But you're just there in Africa with.

[Ryan]

A GoPro or your GoPro 3, whatever GoPro you choose.

[Evan]

I think we could maybe up the quality a little bit.

[Ryan]

Maybe a four for if we're really feeling bougie.

[Evan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gavin]

It would be kind of fun. You know, we've been talking about Ken going to South Africa with the GoPro what if we all took a week and we all scattered?

[Evan]

That'd be an insane video. Yeah. And everyone has one. GoPro.

[Gavin]

I mean, you show up, you show down there.

[Ben]

Yeah, that would be really nuts.

[Evan]

You have to go and make a interesting episode, but you go there, no plans. And you get randomly selected where you're going. You get sent there for like, two days. And like, you, you know, you got to make something interesting out of it. I think that'd be super hard.

[Gavin]

Crazy places in a hat. And you just. You pick it, you look at it like that's where you're going.

[Ben]

And honestly, I think make do. That's a great idea. I think it would be better, content wise, if it was like, two people like you and I went somewhere. C.J. and Ryan go somewhere. Mike and Ken go somewhere.

[Gavin]

You don't think me and Mike should go together?

[Ben]

What do you guys got? We're still in the airport. Drunk.

[Ken]

Or.

[Liz]

No, I mean, I literally give you the footage. I'm like, I have a snap of Evan doing. Trying some kickflips.

[Ryan]

Seven clips that are all 49 minutes long.

[Gavin]

Oh, the footage is corrupt.

[Ben]

Oh, I think that'd be really good. You could literally do it. I mean, it'd be expensive, so it'd have to be worth it.

[Gavin]

Keep it in the States. It'll be way more.

[Ben]

No, I think you could do one like, Midwest edition. Yeah, yeah. United States edition. And then we go to Europe and you do a Europe one.

[Gavin]

Can I sent to Tijuana?

[Ken]

You won't be coming back.

[Ryan]

You go across that border, you're not coming back here.

[Gavin]

It might be in my best interest.

[Evan]

Why would he not be coming back, Ken?

[Ryan]

I just feel like that area, you show up with some flashy cameras and all that, you're just that a GoPro.

[Gavin]

I'm bringing a GoPro.

[Ryan]

Even then, I feel like you start filming around there, the gangs are just gonna swipe you up and we're not gonna see you again.

[Ben]

I mean, I don't think Tijuana is some, like, undeveloped sketch. Like, I think you're thinking that it's, like, crazy.

[Ryan]

I think it's like, that's where like, one of the higher crime rates in North America.

[Ben]

Well, yeah, if you're, like, around in the slums or every.

[Gavin]

Every big city has a good part and a bad part and a medium part.

[Liz]

As soon as they're seeing what's up, YouTube, they're snatching you, man.

[Ben]

I don't disagree with you, Ken. I just don't know if it's like to that degree.

[Gavin]

Where would you want to go? Ben, real quick.

[Ben]

Where? If I.

[Gavin]

Where would you want to go?

[Ben]

You and I go somewhere.

[Gavin]

Okay. Me and you? Yeah, me and you.

[Ryan]

Gotta pick somewhere.

[Gavin]

You're thinking way too.

[Ben]

I think I would take you to Amsterdam.

[Gavin]

Hell yes. Red light district, dude. Let's go right now. Visit all the cafes and cafes, bars, clubs. I want to see it all.

[Ryan]

All the stoplights.

[Gavin]

Every last one.

[Ben]

Terrible.

[Micah]

I didn't really want to go with the Tijuana was dangerous. But Tijuana is the second most deadly city in the world.

[Ken]

Oh yeah, you're right, Ken.

[Ben]

Damn.

[Gavin]

But still good parts, right?

[Ryan]

Like every city. But you know, it's just if I'm going to choose the. Choose to go to a place where I feel safe, I'm not going to choose the most deadly one probably on the continent.

[Gavin]

Is it fair to say that sometimes playing it safe isn't as fun? True, but sometimes you gotta roll the dice, Ken.

[Ryan]

Well said.

[Gavin]

Anyways, where would you go, Ken? With Mike. You and Mike, you're the keys.

[Evan]

Just vacation.

[Liz]

Oh, we gotta go.

[Gavin]

That's lame.

[Ben]

No one wants to see you go drink a pina colada on the beach.

[Ryan]

Okay, we'll go to switch.

[Evan]

Honestly, I think it'd be hilarious if Ken can. Everyone else is like going some extreme place and can then like a vacation. Take the opportunity to go somewhere deep sea fishing.

[Ben]

But we tell him that we're going to these other places. But we just go to the same place as him and we surprise them and we're doing his vacation.

[Evan]

So we have more cameras.

[Liz]

No.

[Gavin]

Yeah, like you guys constantly behind the scenes people to inconvenience him.

[Ben]

We tell Ken, yeah, man, we're doing this huge video. But we all go just to spy on him and see what he's actually doing.

[Liz]

Yeah, like you monitor him or if I was with him us for like three days and then reveal yourselves.

[Ben]

The best content would just be sending Ken and Evan somewhere just on a plane. They don't even have to get off of it. But you just keep feeding Evan drinks.

[Gavin]

Dude, that's hilarious. You said that. Because me and Mike literally talked about this today. What if you just woke up on a Saturday, we're kind of bored but wanted to get drunk. So you just flew somewhere to get drunk on the plane, got drunk at the airport and they flew right back home?

[Ben]

Yes. I mean it sounds terrible.

[Gavin]

Like traveling, it's kind of fun.

[Ben]

Arguably the worst thing ever. Oh, it sounds like you could like sitting. I don't know why Sitting on an airplane sucks so much because you're not even doing anything.

[Evan]

But it just like, just uncomfortable and stinky and kind of and like dirty.

[Gavin]

Depends who you're sitting next to, bro.

[Ryan]

Well, you're never stinky one, maybe.

[Ben]

Yeah, Ken, that's not for any of us though. Maybe I'm sitting next to the bathroom. I can't even lean my seat back. Somebody's constantly coming in and out.

[Evan]

I always have like full grown sized men too. So it's like two of us are freaking. Just like rubbing elbows.

[Gavin]

Do you consider yourself a full grown man?

[Ken]

Yeah, full grown man.

[Evan]

But I'm talking even bigger than me. Like, normally they're bigger than me. So I'm like, these guys get the right to both armrests.

[Gavin]

Obese.

[Ken]

I don't like heavies.

[Ryan]

Thank you, Gav. Bro, there. There's people.

[Evan]

What?

[Micah]

What?

[Liz]

Dude, that really felt like out of left field.

[Gavin]

Gavin, did you literally just come out of the closet right there?

[Ken]

Kinda. I think it just happened.

[Gavin]

You don't like heavies?

[Ken]

I'm over it, man.

[Gavin]

What are you into?

[Ben]

Sisters?

[Ryan]

Stepsisters?

[Ken]

No, definitely not into that. Just kind of, you know, medium thick.

[Ben]

When the fuck did this happen?

[Liz]

People change, man.

[Ken]

Thank you, Mike.

[Gavin]

Not in five minutes.

[Liz]

What?

[Ken]

Dude, I don't know. I mean, they always used to tell me the better the falupa, the better tasting the chalupa, and it just wasn't the case, man.

[Evan]

Falupa.

[Ken]

You know, the falupa.

[Evan]

You mean fupa. Hey, your falupa is turning me on so hard right now, dude, that's probably.

[Ken]

One of the sexiest parts, is when a freaking girl's in a dress and.

[Ben]

Has a nice F. Bro, you are out of pocket.

[Evan]

Dude, a fupa out of pocket hangs over.

[Ben]

I don't know if we can. I don't know if we're going to.

[Ryan]

Quite a bit of that.

[Ken]

Sorry about saying that, Gavin. What?

[Ben]

Reel it in.

[Ken]

Coming back in.

[Evan]

No, no, leave it in. I said leave it in.

[Ken]

Yeah, I don't know. Just kind of happened. It's a Bruce.

[Micah]

Your dream girl. Like you could pick the whole world. Who is your dream girl? Don't try to be funny.

[Gavin]

Try to put it out there. And not Lexi. I mean, we know, but dream girl.

[Ken]

Dude, probably that girl on the fight last night.

[Gavin]

You could only see her from the waist up.

[Ken]

That's all you got to see.

[Gavin]

You're so shallow.

[Ben]

What was that chick's name?

[Ken]

Sydney. Should I say that? Yeah, Sydney.

[Ryan]

I mean, I feel like a lot of people learned what her name is. But just say it.

[Ben]

Yeah. What's her name?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Ken]

Sydney Thomas.

[Ben]

Slide into her DMs.

[Ken]

Did I?

[Ben]

Actually, yeah. I mean, I can't imagine. I mean, what, respond? No, not against you, but I. I would imagine a lot of guys are probably sliding into it, but be original.

[Evan]

And say, hey, do you want to ride three wheelers? Do it right now. Because that's actually like a legitimate thing. And then right now, if she does follow up, you're like, all right, let's go ride three wheelers.

[Ryan]

Gav, what's the worst.

[Evan]

You'll win her over from there. You'll win her over. Over from there.

[Ryan]

What's the worst thing that can happen by you doing that?

[Ken]

Probably nothing, right?

[Liz]

Could get punched.

[Ken]

Could get punched.

[Evan]

She could. She could reply, come here. Start dating him, they get married, Turns out she's crazy. That'd be the worst thing. That'd be the worst thing, that. He's locked in with her, she ends up divorcing him, taking all of his three wheelers. The only thing he's left with is a 12 valve and a little.

[Ben]

Don't.

[Ryan]

Don't tell him that.

[Evan]

Sorry.

[Gavin]

Tits like that, it would be worth the run. Beat it up while it lasts, buddy.

[Ryan]

I do agree.

[Ben]

Oh, my gosh.

[Evan]

I don't agree. Dude, losing all your.

[Ryan]

Be worth it for the three months of enjoyment.

[Ben]

But what you.

[Evan]

You lose everything, Ken.

[Gavin]

Only three months?

[Ben]

That's where your bar is, huh?

[Ryan]

I mean, with those tits. Yeah.

[Ken]

So. Yeah. What does a guy even say in a DM like that?

[Evan]

Yeah, I just told you what to say, dude.

[Liz]

I think exactly that said was actually good. But, you know, it is up to you because the first impression is always the most important. Everybody knows that.

[Gavin]

I'd say something.

[Evan]

Yeah, she doesn't even have that many Instagram.

[Gavin]

I'd say something crazy.

[Ryan]

Like 200,000 in, like 24 hours.

[Gavin]

You gotta catch your attention. All right, what do we set yourself apart?

[Evan]

375K.

[Ryan]

Dude, she was like, one something last night.

[Gavin]

Tell her you just picked up a couple gallons of canoli oil and you're not deep frying fish tonight.

[Ken]

She's not gonna respond to that, brother. I am not saying that.

[Evan]

So how Gavin discovered this girl is from. We were watching the Jake Paul Mike Tyson fight, and this girl was one of, like, the ring girls who just stands behind like a robot. Just like.

[Gavin]

Those were not robotic tits.

[Evan]

It's more like this, like. And I'm like, why are you. Like, you don't have to smile the whole time. Oh, you probably do. They told you, but looks a little weird.

[Ken]

Look pretty cute, though. All right, so just say, hey, do you want to go red three wheelers sometime? Emoji.

[Evan]

No emoji, no emoji. I bet you she'll see it, dude, just because you have a lot of followers. So, like, it will raise up in the DMS and then shoot. Like, I'm sure she also has tons of rappers and all celebrities and athletes and, you know, I mean, 65 million people watch that flight, that fight. So I'm sure there's lots of other guys that think she's pretty just like you, right, that are DMing her. But you'll be in the. In the upper s. Do I have.

[Ken]

Any chance, you think?

[Evan]

Absolutely, bro. I think. I think if she meets you, then it's a lock. Like, it's. It's done. But. But getting her to meet you, that's gonna be the hardest part.

[Liz]

Okay.

[Ben]

You know, I think we gotta get Ken.

[Liz]

I think we get him to fire one out.

[Evan]

Yeah, he's talking big right now.

[Liz]

Yeah, he's talking big.

[Ken]

Not my sister. But yeah, let's do it.

[Liz]

Yeah. So wait.

[Ken]

Whoa.

[Gavin]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Enough with your sister.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You probably got dropped.

[Gavin]

That probably should. But, like, you just were encouraging, dude.

[Evan]

Your redneck not southern. So you don't need to always be thinking about your sister.

[Ken]

Okay, I'll remember that. Got it, got it, got it.

[Gavin]

Control, alt, delete all images in your head. Gav.

[Ken]

Gone.

[Liz]

All of them? Yeah.

[Ben]

All right, good.

[Liz]

You remember.

[Ben]

Off to a good start.

[Liz]

Remember what happened to SpongeBob when he did that?

[Ben]

Yeah, he deleted everything.

[Liz]

Hi. How are you?

[Ken]

What kind of girls does Ken like?

[Ben]

Let's find out.

[Liz]

Gavin just fired a DM to his current kind of dream girl. So we were thinking, wondering. Wondering if you would do the same.

[Ryan]

Who's the other chick next to her?

[Liz]

Yeah, there we go.

[Ben]

There we go, bro.

[Gavin]

She was pretty cute, too. Everyone was. I actually felt bad for her because everyone was clearly talking about the one on the left. I'm like the one on the right.

[Ryan]

The one on the right was just as good. It's not bad.

[Ben]

Her.

[Ryan]

She just wasn't blonde.

[Ken]

Dude, let's set up a double date. Ken.

[Gavin]

The girls don't show up, you guys still run it?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ken]

Ken. Yeah? What is your ideal version of a first date, man?

[Ryan]

First date? I don't know.

[Gavin]

Don't tell me it involves jet skis or snow skis. I don't know.

[Ryan]

You gotta, like, meet the girl and chat a little bit.

[Gavin]

I Mean, you've already met her. You're going to be sit at home.

[Ryan]

And watch a little Netflix.

[Ken]

No, you're not taking. Where are you going? Take her.

[Ryan]

Maybe go to topgolf or something.

[Evan]

There you go. Maybe not.

[Gavin]

No, no, you don't want.

[Ben]

No, no, no, no. Do not take her golfing.

[Ryan]

What's wrong with that?

[Gavin]

Unless your.

[Ben]

Your golf game is the.

[Ryan]

Yeah, my golf game is bad, but I'm not like, most people are bad at golf. Not everyone's like a high school golf pro like you were.

[Gavin]

I would literally put my money on any random stranger over you. Like, that's.

[Ken]

There's a.

[Liz]

There's a good video idea. Send him into a crowd of people blindfolded, and he points at one person and we ask him, and then they have to face off for a thousand bucks. And there we go.

[Gavin]

I think you need to find something that you really excel at, and then you turn that into the first date so you can really impress her. So, like, what are some of your impressive qualities?

[Ryan]

Well, ev.

[Gavin]

I.

[Ben]

Don't.

[Ken]

Say that. Freaking say it, bro.

[Ben]

Stop.

[Gavin]

Just.

[Ryan]

Just keep going up. What are you gonna say? What's the second part of this quest? What's the second part of this?

[Gavin]

No, nothing. Absolutely nothing. Can I. I want to know, like, if you want to impress a chick, how would you wow her? What would you show her? What's bigger than any.

[Evan]

I see where you're going with it.

[Gavin]

Okay, nuts off the table. What would you do?

[Ben]

Gavin, you're probably the manda to give him some recommendations. The guy that's actually, you know, playing the game, he's in the field, right? What do you even do for a first date? Yeah, like, what are you doing?

[Ken]

What am I doing? I'm probably taking her on a three wheeler. So we're gonna start off with a.

[Ben]

Nice going to family dinner.

[Ken]

We're gonna start off exactly. So, yeah, we're gonna start off with a nice Italian dinner or whatever and then probably go fire up a 350extra 250R and just show her what hopefully it starts.

[Gavin]

Italians.

[Ben]

Best thing to do the first date.

[Ken]

100% man.

[Gavin]

Why? Why Italian? That's heavy.

[Ken]

Get some wine.

[Gavin]

You might want to eat light, you know?

[Ben]

What do you mean, get her on a three wheeler?

[Ken]

All right, the 350. Put her on a 110. See if she's capable of figuring it out.

[Gavin]

Really more of a straight up youp're.

[Ben]

You're putting her beyond the scouting.

[Ken]

Oh, you kind of got it. Exactly.

[Liz]

I love that it's Instead of like, yo, let me teach you, and then you kind of like, sit behind her, right? Nuts to butts. No, it's like, no. I need to see how well you three wheeler.

[Ben]

Gavin, you. Honestly, bro, you walk the walk. Like, I believe that you actually do this.

[Evan]

I do, too.

[Ken]

Yeah, I do. Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah. How do you know that you got yourself, like, a good one, then, like, off of the first date, like, what are you looking for, dude? Ken, like, what are you looking for? Like, in their riding or, like.

[Ken]

Yeah, definitely. Definitely a good. Good riding stance. You know, you got to see good posture. She's got to be able to get down and, you know, really ride that thing. But besides that, just have a good personality. That's what I'm. Yeah, that's the biggest thing I kind of learned from my last relationship is just, you know, find somebody that you kind of mesh really well with and can find that vibe. So that's the biggest thing. Find the vibe. And then after that, look at the posture.

[Gavin]

So is this a tryout or a first date?

[Ken]

Kind of both.

[Ben]

Yeah. I don't know if you're the one to send in to help Ken. That's what I just figured out. Okay.

[Liz]

Yeah.

[Gavin]

I look at Gab's first date like an NFL training camp. Like, he's on the sideline with a clipboard. No whistle.

[Ken]

Yeah. Referee shirt on and everything.

[Ben]

I think we're finding out why Gav is having a hard time at love.

[Gavin]

Like a college football recruiter.

[Ben]

Most of these girls are like, I don't want to ride a three wheeler. I. I like that you like three wheelers, but I. Why do I have to ride them, dude?

[Ken]

I probably gotta accept that here. Sooner or later, I'll buy her a four wheeler. Sadly or something. I don't know.

[Gavin]

What if all she wants to ride is you can.

[Ken]

What if what? She rides me.

[Gavin]

She doesn't want to ride machines, period. Gav, it's not how many wheels it has. She just simply isn't interested in riding anything.

[Ben]

Yeah, I think. Have you ever maybe just accepted that?

[Ken]

I mean. No.

[Gavin]

She'S not the one. I guess if she can't accept it, she ate the one.

[Ben]

Why would I?

[Ken]

I mean, dude, I want a girl.

[Ben]

That rips, I guess. Fair, right?

[Evan]

You know, probably start at the motocross track then.

[Ken]

That's a good spot, huh? They like dirt bike guys.

[Ben]

Yeah. No, Ken, I think maybe you too, Gavin, being that I think you need help too. I think you think that you got it handled, but I'm not sure that you Do I think we gotta, like, help you guys out and get, like, a proper wingman. There's a guy on YouTube, his name is Nick Narcina. He's like, the king of, like, hooking people up with.

[Ken]

With. With pretty girls.

[Ben]

Yeah, with two girls and kind of just wingman in them. And I talk to Nick all the time, so I. I want. I. I want to make this happen.

[Evan]

Dude, that's actually. Would be a really good video.

[Ken]

That'd be so much fun.

[Evan]

Holy.

[Ben]

Ken does the opposite of what we want. So there's no way that we could wingman him. There's no way. So we have to go, like, the outside help.

[Ken]

What bar would we hit?

[Ben]

I.

[Evan]

Probably a lot of them.

[Ben]

Yeah. No, I think you'd have to go to something, like, somewhere where there's something.

[Ryan]

More exotic, the norm.

[Ben]

Maybe the zoo.

[Liz]

That's funny.

[Gavin]

You can judge a lot of a woman by what her favorite animal is. You find a woman that likes otters or something cute. If she's into the rhinos and the bears, I'd steer clear.

[Ken]

Really? What's up with the rhino?

[Gavin]

I made everything up.

[Liz]

It's like, you don't have anything to stand on there.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's a good point. Like, if she's into snakes, probably clear spiders, for sure.

[Gavin]

If she's a tarantula girl. Run.

[Ryan]

Horses. Get.

[Ken]

Dude, you do get out of the room. You got to watch out for those horse girls. They are crazy.

[Gavin]

God damn, they're fun.

[Ryan]

They are crazy, though.

[Ken]

They are. Psych.

[Gavin]

That's the fun part. Dude, there's. There's literally two types of women in this world. Horse girls and everyone else. No, it's just like horse girls and nurses. They literally all end up in that category. Are they crazy, or are they going to take care of you?

[Ken]

What?

[Ben]

No, I think that's just your experience. No, horse girls and nurses are in the same category.

[Gavin]

No, they are not. No, no, no, no, no.

[Liz]

Could be.

[Gavin]

There's some overlap there, but. No, no, no, no. Really opposite ends of the spectrum.

[Ben]

I mean, from. I'm an outsider. I. I've never. I've never partaked in a horse girl or a nurse or anything like that. Like, dated. I wouldn't know. You would know. You would know much better than I would. Honestly, I'm just going off of what you've told me. Honestly, I'm just going off of everything you've ever said.

[Gavin]

All I know is my friend Slim says horse girls or no, nurses know how to do things. The horse girls do things.

[Liz]

That'S hilarious.

[Ben]

Okay, all right, so if you got horse girls and nurses on one on each side, right?

[Gavin]

A teacher nurse.

[Ben]

Side nurse. Hair salon or horse.

[Ryan]

Horse.

[Ben]

Okay, Marketing horse.

[Ken]

Dude.

[Liz]

Out of context. Just that little clip with marketing horse.

[Gavin]

I just want to throw this out there. There's a reason why I'm with a nurse.

[Liz]

Take care of.

[Ben]

Yeah, I think you need to be taken care of.

[Gavin]

Believe me, she takes care of me. Shout out. Nikki Jo.

[Ben]

You have just been such a good guy that's covering his tracks.

[Evan]

Covering his tracks here.

[Gavin]

Like a cat in a litter box.

[Micah]

Oh, no.

[Gavin]

All right.

[Ben]

Okay, Well, I think on that note, probably just wrap it up there then.

[Evan]

Our most. I was gonna say vulgar, but not really. We're just in the right vibe, you know, like, we're all, like Mike said.

[Ben]

We'Re all just like.

[Evan]

The boys are just hanging out and just. You can crack anything. Anything's funny. Everything's funny. We've just been goofing for the last two days, and that's the perfect time to sit down and run a pod, you know? Yeah, we had a day of just chilling.

[Ben]

That was a pretty pure podcast right there of things that we probably shouldn't say on the Internet, but it's pretty funny.

[Evan]

Hey, well, thank you guys for listening and subscribe. Hit the subscribe button.

[Liz]

We love you.

[Evan]

Hit the like button and we'll see you next Tuesday. Peace.

[Gavin]

Later.

[Ben]

That was so funny. I.

[CJ]

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[Evan]

It's like going to work on one.

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Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, just.

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One more day until Friday.

[Ken]

But then somebody in the elevator says Happy Friday.

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