January 1991 Pop Culture: Hats, Mermaids & Johnsons

Summary

Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s Episode Summary: January 1991 Pop Culture: Hats, Mermaids & Johnsons

Release Date: January 28, 2025
Hosts: Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, and David T. Cole

---

1. Setting the Scene: January 1991

The episode kicks off with Pam setting the historical backdrop of January 1991, highlighting the dominant Gulf War coverage on television and the underwhelming reception of The Godfather Part III. The hosts reflect on the cultural landscape of the time, emphasizing the disconnect between major media events and personal experiences.

Pam:
"It is January 1991. Nothing is on TV but Gulf War coverage. The Godfather Part III is a cinematic offering. Everyone refuses."
(00:47)

2. Nostalgia for the Past: Plymouth Roop and City Life

The hosts delve into the peculiarities of Plymouth Roop, a fictional town reportedly settled by the Bayflower settlers after Plymouth Rock. They humorously discuss the town's unconventional spelling and its impact on the residents' daily lives.

Pam:
"This place is reportedly the second place the Bayflower dropped off settlers after Plymouth Rock. Which is weird because it is at least 200 miles inland."
(01:59)

3. Music Spotlight: R.E.M. and New Kids on the Block

David brings attention to R.E.M.'s concert documentary tour film, lamenting its scarcity and high cost. The conversation shifts to the enduring legacy of R.E.M., juxtaposed with the hosts' fascination with the song "You Are."

Dave:
"How REM just kind of peaced out and said, you know what? Well, that was that."
(03:08)

The discussion also touches on New Kids on the Block, particularly focusing on their manager, Biscuit, and his brief musical endeavors.

Pam:
"Apparently there's this guy named Biscuit who had his own mini musical career."
(21:39)

4. Pop Culture Practices: CD Recycling and Postcards

The hosts reminisce about the pre-digital era practices of recycling CD cardboard boxes into postcards, reflecting on the environmental consciousness and the charm of physical correspondence.

Pam:
"Chop up the cardboard boxes your CDs come in to make postcards."
(04:48)

They humorously debate the practicality and nostalgia associated with sending postcards, highlighting the sentimental value of such practices.

Christina:
"When you're dead or you're incapacitated and your family doesn't care about you anymore, they send all your stuff to the Goodwill, including your postcards."
(06:32)

5. Celebrity Focus: Keanu Reeves

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Keanu Reeves, examining his career trajectory post-Point Break and My Own Private Idaho. The hosts commend his versatility and ongoing projects, including his roles in John Wick and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Pam:
"Keanu still doesn't have time to call. He's still busy being awesome."
(09:13)

They also humorously speculate about a statue of Keanu in Winnipeg, blending admiration with light-hearted banter.

Pam:
"If not, there should be a statue of him in Winnipeg doing John Wick moves."
(10:33)

6. Retro Gadgets: Seiko Instruments' Karaoke Set

David introduces the Caratoon from Seiko Instruments, a retro karaoke machine with a tape player and microphone. The hosts discuss its unique design and the humorous challenges of using it compared to modern smartphone apps.

Dave:
"It's one of those machines with a tape player and a microphone. I'm gonna get this for Christmas next year."
(11:48)

They critique the device's aesthetics and functionality, blending nostalgia with tech satire.

Christina:
"It's extremely blowjobby. And also, like the woman illustration they have here, she looks like she's about to competitively drink a beer."
(13:38)

7. Movie Reviews: The Field, Mermaids & Meet the Applegates

The hosts provide reviews of several movies from the era, offering both critiques and humorous takes.

• The Field by Ann El:
  "A stirring drama set in the Irish countryside... but it played in Toronto for a really long time."
  (26:04 - 27:39)

• Mermaids reviewed by Karen:
  "A mother-daughter movie with Michael Schoffling as the love interest, making Winona Ryder's character reconsider her vows."
  (27:59 - 29:25)

• Meet the Applegates:
  "An eco-comedy about arthropods fighting human destruction, ending up with a negative review despite an intriguing premise."
  (29:25 - 31:09)

8. Fashion and Accessories: Hats and Supermodels

A lively discussion ensues about the quirky fashion of the time, particularly focusing on the unconventional hats worn by supermodels and musicians.

Pam:
"Weirder hats, like the crushed velvet berets, are a red flag."
(19:31)

The hosts humorously imagine scenarios where such hats would be impractical or outlandish, blending pop culture references with creative storytelling.

9. Media Critique: McLean’s College Guidebook

Pam shares a personal anecdote about the inaccuracies found in McLean’s college guidebook, critiquing the lack of fact-checking and the impact of misleading information on prospective students.

Pam:
"They sent me a copy of it, and there's all these facts just made up completely wholesale."
(16:30)

The conversation underscores the importance of reliable media and the frustrations of encountering fabricated content.

10. Music Reviews and Criticism

The hosts venture into music reviews, critiquing the style and substance of contemporary critiques.

Christina:
"Record reviews are so pretentious. I take her point."
(33:10 - 34:24)

They express frustration with vague and flowery language often used in music journalism, advocating for more substantial and honest assessments.

11. Spotlight on Christopher Cerrone

The episode highlights Christopher Cerrone, known for his role as young Henry Hill in Goodfellas. The hosts discuss his early potential, subsequent career choices, and the challenges he faced post-Goodfellas.

Christina:
"He acted in a few other things, but he decided that acting was not for him."
(35:00 - 37:44)

They reflect on the pressures of early fame and the personal struggles that can follow, offering empathy and support for Cerrone's journey.

12. Final Shoutouts and Support

In the concluding segment, the hosts encourage listeners to engage with mutual aid organizations and support various social causes. They also promote their own platforms, including Patreon and Discord, inviting the community to join and support their ongoing projects.

Christina:
"If you have money or time, if you're local that you can give them to help the work they're doing, please do."
(38:22)

Dave:
"Support the prisoners who are firefighters on the front line. It is a controversial take on our incarcerated firemen."
(39:17)

The episode wraps up with playful banter and reminders for listeners to stay connected and participate in the community.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Pam on January 1991:
  "Nothing is on TV but Gulf War coverage."
  (00:47)

• Dave on R.E.M.:
  "How REM just kind of peaced out and said, you know what? Well, that was that."
  (03:08)

• Christina on Postcards:
  "When you're dead or you're incapacitated and your family doesn't care about you anymore, they send all your stuff to the Goodwill, including your postcards."
  (06:32)

• Pam on Keanu Reeves:
  "Keanu still doesn't have time to call. He's still busy being awesome."
  (09:13)

• Christina on Music Reviews:
  "Record reviews are so pretentious. I take her point."
  (33:10)

• Dave on Mutual Aid:
  "Support the prisoners who are firefighters on the front line."
  (39:17)

Conclusion

This episode of Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s offers a rich tapestry of early '90s pop culture, blending nostalgic reflections with sharp critiques and humorous insights. From the intricacies of city life in Plymouth Roop to the evolving careers of iconic celebrities like Keanu Reeves, the hosts provide a comprehensive exploration of the era. Their discussions on music, movies, fashion, and media practices not only evoke fond memories but also encourage listeners to engage thoughtfully with the past and its lasting impact on the present.

Whether you're a Gen-X teen reminiscing about the golden days of Sassy magazine or a new listener curious about life in the '90s, this episode delivers an engaging and informative experience, complete with memorable quotes and a lively conversational flow.

Transcript

[Biscuit]

Check out the sound that's bound to move body Move to a groove that proves to rock 40 coming on long and strong like a nut, y'all. It's a movie butt, y'all. Here's a cut, y'all. Biscuit. The name for you to know. Straight from the New Kids tour to the studio. I carried the load on the road for a long time. But now it's my time to give you a hype ride to make your shake, friends move, dance and lose it. You got a body that moves, then use it pound for pound. I'm the hip hop heavyweight. I'm old tired when I rhyme and I'm never late, never sleep on the beat of this wicked. I grab the mic real tight, just kick it biscuit. I'm here to treat you right. So get hotter, y'all, it's all right all night.

[Pam]

It is January 1991. Nothing is on TV but Gulf War coverage. The Godfather Part III is a cinematic offering. Everyone refuses. The musical closes after 72 performances and the management of the UN unionized CNC Music Factory promises they are going to make you sweat and commands everyone dance now. But you don't care too much about all that because your head is still spinning from the latest sudden move to this stupid new city. You thought the last place was weird, but now you long for the comfort of its off kilterness. This place is reportedly the second place the Bayflower dropped off settlers after Plymouth Rock. Which is weird because it is at least 200 miles inland. Legend says they were so excited to put down roots here that they were in a constant state of wonder and ooing all over this new settlement. So that's why Plymouth Roop is a town where the government, businesses and the current day town gentry still employ O's for every vowel. In a regular word. It's driving you. Oh so no. Anyways, it's time to see what's happening outside this weird town. Yes, it's time. Time to loosen to Susie.

[Christina]

Close.

[Dave]

Loose.

[Christina]

Loose to Susie.

[Dave]

So.

[Pam]

So why is a vowel here?

[Dave]

What?

[Pam]

Why is a bell here?

[Christina]

Where?

[Pam]

Incest.

[Dave]

So.

[Pam]

So so so so so.

[Christina]

Yes, Listen to SOS so so so.

[Dave]

So so so so.

[Christina]

This is.

[Dave]

Oh no.

[Christina]

Well, if you're new here, sorry, thank you for your patience that we're coming to this a week late. Obviously you understand why. And to our listeners in la, we are thinking of you and hoping for the best. Shall we get into this episode and live in the past for a while?

[Pam]

Yeah, let's do that.

[Christina]

Okay.

[Dave]

What now? Now What? What now? This month it says it's the special non socially conscious edition. I'll be enraged again next month. Why is she doing this disclaimer? It's still.

[Christina]

Still pretty pissy.

[Dave]

It's still pretty pissy. It's true. So our. Our first one here is. It's been a while since I've mentioned them. It's a little thing about R.E.M and their concert documentary tour film, which I had forgotten about until this blurb. And here's. I know, I know that we are going through something that is officially like 30 years old right now, but it's weird that throughout Sassy, particularly this issue, it's stuff that's coming up right now. There's an article that just came out called how the Biggest Rock Band in the World Disappeared. And it is about how REM just kind of peaced out and said, you know what? Well, that was that. We put our things down, we're leaving. And how they stayed kind of under the radar and chill the whole time instead of bono ing into the sphere. Tour film is not available. Like, it's very hard to find. It's expensive if you want to buy it. But a lot of it is on YouTube. And it reminded me of how beautiful the song you are. The everything is. This was the end of this was like that green tour. And it's experimental Tor film stuff that's just very mid-90s.

[Pam]

There's a bunch of little headshots they're all wearing. Are they wearing engineer hats? Like they're all going to drive a train? Is that what that is?

[Dave]

Oh, maybe. I just feel like someone had a silly hat and then they were all like, let's all take pictures in the silly hat.

[Pam]

Or do they all have the same hat and that's their stick.

[Christina]

The hat gang.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Christina]

It's hard to tell. And some of them. It looks more like an almost a newsboy cap, but it's definitely stupid. Stripies make it look engineer. It is stupid. Yes. No one's arguing that.

[Pam]

We got to get this load of coal to Jacksonville Station.

[Christina]

Yeah, they really need Cole in Jacksonville. Turn your head to the side to read a nifty recycling idea, courtesy of Betsy from Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin. Chop up the cardboard boxes your CDs come in to make postcards. Now, there's a lot of joking on social media and wherever else about things you would strain to explain to a young person. And this is one of them that there used to be. First of all, record stores that used to be where you would go to buy CDs. And in order to display them in the. In the racks that they had, they would come in huge, wasteful cardboard, like.

[Pam]

Sleeves, twice as tall as the actual product.

[Christina]

And some of them were, like, embellished. You know, they sort of did some kind of echo of the album art. And some of them were just plain. Yeah, that's. That's what we did.

[Pam]

Not only that, we used to send correspondence through the mail.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Pam]

That anybody along the lines could read.

[Christina]

Yep.

[Pam]

End to end. Not encrypted.

[Christina]

Yeah. All of this is so. So antique, honestly. But this is the kind of advice that made me think I should be a more active postcard sender, I think. I was not. I was still not buying CDs at this point. I still didn't have a CD player until, like, my first year of college, I think. So I was. I was still just getting tapes.

[Pam]

Here's why you should send postcards. And it doesn't really matter, you know, the occasion or making them meaningful in any way. Yeah, but from the people that were writing postcards from, like, the early 1900s, all through the 70s. And when you go to a thrift shop that happens to have a big bin of them and you're just, like, going through them and getting these weird little snippets of people's lives.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Pam]

That's why you write postcards. So when you're dead or you're incapacitated and your family doesn't care about you anymore, and they send all your stuff to the Goodwill, including your postcards, and then they put them out for people to buy. That's why you make postcards, is for other people to have this weird little look into somebody's life that they'll never know. I honestly think that's the main reason you should write postcards. Totally. I know I'm kind of laughing, but I'm totally.

[Christina]

No, I.

[Pam]

Totally wrong.

[Christina]

I agree. It is fun to read them when you get them.

[Dave]

It is. You know, the reason these post. These cardboard sleeves for the CDs were so big was to deter stealing. So even when they were like, these are kind of wasteful. They're like, fine, we'll shelve them. We'll put them. We'll encase them in plastic just as big, and then we'll line all the plastic up because you kids can't stop stealing these conveniently sized CDs. So we never. We. We swapped one problem for a much worse one, I think when we moved out of the cardboard sleeve.

[Pam]

Yeah. I mean, but sure, they're tall now, but still easy to stick in your coat.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Pam]

This is where the tall have an advantage because they got more room to work with. But I think they're still quite swipeable.

[Dave]

Or three kids in a trench.

[Pam]

They started putting them in the cases because the cases had anti security or anti theft security devices built in, so.

[Christina]

Yeah, but tapes are still easier to steal even than that.

[Pam]

Did you ever steal a tape or CD or record?

[Christina]

No.

[Pam]

Record? No. There's a challenge stealing an lp.

[Dave]

I did not steal that stuff.

[Pam]

Okay, well, did you see backing up the PAM truck?

[Christina]

Hang on.

[Pam]

What do you got?

[Dave]

The PAM truck. Was going to tell you that for Christmas I got a combination record, cd, cassette player, and a Bluetooth.

[Christina]

Ooh.

[Dave]

Because I have a trunk filled with my old CDs. And I think Jason was sad for me that I just stared at them and so, yeah, it's a Victrola. And I would say the sound quality is only great on the records and not the others. So a sound bar is attempted.

[Pam]

Soon.

[Dave]

I'll just. I don't know. Who knows what my living room will look like soon, but I'm about to listen to some cassette tapes again. It's been a long time.

[Christina]

Pam. What else did you get for Christmas from your co host son? Listen to Sassy.

[Dave]

Oh, I have an embosser now.

[Christina]

Yay.

[Dave]

It's just out of my reach. It's just out of my reach because I just put it with my postcards. I'm not even kidding. So it's with my correspondence. But yeah, I have an embosser. I've never felt more embossed.

[Christina]

Yes. Pam sent us a. Sent us a thank you card that is embossed. I'll have to show Dave after.

[Dave]

This next one is why Keanu hasn't had time to call. We do like to keep tabs on Keanu's comings and goings. At press time, he was just wrapping Point Break. And soon after, our boy began my own Private Idaho. This month he's working on a Bill and Ted sequel. Bill and Ted go to hell. Keanu still doesn't have time to call. He's still busy. Busy being awesome. He's over here in Severance. He's over here in Sonic the Hedgehog. He's John Wicking. Where he's at Roller derby. Where is Kean? Keanu Reeves not on the naughty list. He's not canceled. Keep it up, Keanu.

[Christina]

Yep. Not canceled. Not touching people when he takes pictures with them. Working with female directors, unlike some posturing. Natalie's Portman we could mention. He's doing everything right. Yeah. Dating someone age appropriate, about to do a cool play.

[Pam]

Pleasant breath.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I assume just a general great attitude. Just really, just emerging.

[Pam]

Is there a. Is there a statue of him in Winnipeg?

[Christina]

There should be.

[Pam]

There should be. If not, there should be a statue of him in Winnipeg doing John Wick moves and like there's all these other statues around him getting their brains blown out and stuff. Yes, that would be fantastic. That would be a real boon for the Winnipeg Tourism Board, which I assume is one person that actually has no official power that has given themselves that title because it's Winnipeg.

[Dave]

Who cares if they do keep the Olympics here in LA soon. Which should we Nat. Let's all take a look. Do you think Keanu is going to get the torch at some point? He might be the Snoop Dogg of the LA Olympics.

[Pam]

Yeah, Snoop Dogg's not getting it anymore.

[Christina]

No.

[Pam]

Snoop Dogg's on the outs, I think, with the. Yeah.

[Christina]

Yes. Not only that, but he should be kicking in the heads of other famous people from Winnipeg.

[Pam]

Oh, that's what you do. There's all these evil people on the way to light the final flame. And he has to John Wick himself to the ignition site. There we go. I think we figured it out. Boom. Done. Keanu called the Olympic Committee. Let's get this going. Cockroaches Factoid of cockroaches. Two adult German female cockroaches can produce a trillion offspring in one year without any help, like by themselves. I'm not quite sure if we have the full biological picture here of what's going on, but now it makes me feel better about the one or two we see in the house a year, which probably means there's 999,999,998 cockroaches under our house waiting to come up. They're taking turns, two every year, so it'll be a while before we see them all.

[Dave]

The only thing more terrifying is a trillion offspring. Oh, just like the band took a trillion. Yes. Like try your own rope. Like. No, no, no, no. I. No. Hey, get out of here. A trillion offspring oh, win a new toy with which to annoy others. We got this thing called the Caratoon from Seiko Instruments. It's one of those machines with a tape player and a microphone. I'm gonna get this for Christmas next year. That amplifies your voice as you sing along. Comes with a pre recorded tape so you could sing straight up. Nine to five. New York, New York in A Christmas song also. Hanging tough. Of course. I looked it up. You can get them on ebay right now, which is very tempting. It has an echo feature. That's all you need, you guys, like, 30 bucks. Get yourself one BE. They'll be like, you know what we were wrong about? Back to the office. Go home, everybody. Go home.

[Christina]

I'm so sorry, but if you click.

[Dave]

On this ebay link that I put in the show notes, you'll see a picture of the box.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I'm not sure this was the look to go through. Remember the Shake Weight?

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Dave]

The Caryatoo.

[Pam]

Oh, boy.

[Christina]

It's fair to the. To the Seiko. The good people at Seiko.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Christina]

There's. I mean, microphones are just phallic. Like, there's only so much you can do.

[Dave]

You don't have to horizontally jam that guy into your open mouth while you unhinge your jaw.

[Christina]

Okay, but is this better? There's no. There's no good angle. That was me for the podcast listener, tilting it down, opening my mouth really wide.

[Pam]

You could just. You could have. It totally turned 90 degrees. I realized it's the product packaging and why they're doing it. Because it's a long box.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Pam]

But that is extremely bj. Ish.

[Christina]

Yeah, it is.

[Dave]

Beyond bj.

[Pam]

I mean, and if that's your penis, go see a doctor. But for a microphone, it's like. You have to imagine, though, it's just not the microphone. There's, like, all the gadgetry that is also built into the microphone. There's no, like, sender receiver relationship here. It seems to be everything all in one.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Pam]

So it sort of looks like if you imagine the shape of a blender, but there's a cavity in the middle in which you put your fingers to hold it. And then instead of putting two dangerous beaters in your mouth, you put a microphone near your mouth. That's the shape of it.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Pam]

It's extremely blowjobby. And also, like the woman illustration they have here, she looks like she's about to, like, competitively drink a beer. Like, that's how wide her mouth is.

[Dave]

Yeah, she's gargling, like.

[Christina]

Yes. But the ebay seller knows what it looks like and has, like, staged this whole tableau with the tape blocking half of her mouth so that you hopefully don't think of that. But obviously we all did. Thanks, Pam.

[Dave]

A few down, you can see all the cute pictures. For the other things that you can do, add a professional touch to the family's variety show audition for the school Variety show with your own backup band. This could be your big break. It says, serenade your sweetheart. Tell her exactly how you feel. And this silly drawing, this art of this woman with her, like my sweetheart out the window where you put a pie. It's all ridiculous. Oh, man. I'm gonna get one of these. 30 bucks.

[Pam]

30 bucks? That's it?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Christina]

There's one on here for 12.

[Pam]

Well, I guess nobody remembers them. There's nostalgic feelings. Because I know if, like, this is comparable to what was the. We talked about it before and I know, Pam, you. I think you bought one. It was like the tape deck that shoots black and white pixely videos.

[Dave]

I wanted one. Yes, I wanted one, but they're really.

[Pam]

Expensive to buy now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

They were then too, for me.

[Pam]

But this feels like it should be the same wheelhouse. But I guess, like, you could just do this with any iPhone app, you know, on the store, right?

[Dave]

You see that cute little Seiko Epson Mamie Cara karaoke set? The little Japanese one?

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Dave]

They just offered me $29.92 for it. They sent me a little offer. Oh, no. 20 bucks. It's so tempting for 20 bucks.

[Christina]

I mean, if you still have tapes, you should. Or you should wait because you know, your birthday's coming up. Maybe someone's making a note of what to get you for your birthday. You don't know.

[Dave]

All right, thanks. This one's even more. This one looks like a Dyson. It does because it's cute and yellow.

[Pam]

It looks like the top part of a Dyson. Like one of those standalone vacuum cleaners. Yeah, with the battery.

[Dave]

That's why I want it. I want it so bad. All right, I'm gonna leave it alone. Tempting.

[Pam]

Sassy. Glossary definition number 34 is FIFI. It is a noun, superficial looking girl with a trendy style of dress. For instance, bleach teased blonde hair, a dayglo spandex skirt and a skin tight top showing her stomach. This was lifted from slang you. The official dictionary of college slang published next month by Harmony Books. When I was in university, I was working at the University newspaper and McLean's magazine, which is sort of like the equivalent of Time magazine in Canada, was doing a college guide book. And this was, I think, going to be their first one. After a while, like they stopped or maybe this was the beginning of it. But they hired an editor and that editor found somebody at every university to sort of, you know, do a, you know, a synopsis and answer certain questions about the university and then they would stick their stats in it. So we were sort of like the cultural take on the university. So I sent this in, and it was all fine. And we had a few people at the paper review it and. And contribute to it. You know, it's like a few pages, and it comes back. This book finally gets published, and they send me a copy of it. And there's all these facts just made up completely wholesale that nobody in at the university we were at knew anything about. They were totally made up at whatever McLean's office or this editor. The university was called Brock University, and apparently the students go around to call each other Broccoli's.

[Christina]

Nope.

[Pam]

And there's all these things about, like, the athletic system that was not true. They're just, like, making up shit. And this is like a thing that parents are reading, students are reading to make decisions that will affect, you know, the rest of their lives and a good chunk of money. It was unbelievable. And the editor became a journalist in Canada. And every time I saw her name, I'm like, I feel like I should write somebody and tell her what she did.

[Christina]

She became the editor of Chatelaine magazine.

[Pam]

She was like, that kind of tracks. Not a lot of. Not a lot of fact checking. You really super need to do not.

[Christina]

It's not that intense for our. For our listeners. Chatelaine was a women's magazine. It was like, it still exists, sort of on the level of Good Housekeeping. Like, it's, you know, it's got recipes, it's for. It's. It's a mom magazine.

[Pam]

But that way, you know, yeah, sure, that stuff probably happens a lot of time, but like, that magazine, McLean's is sort of like, you know, the magazine of record in Canada.

[Christina]

Yeah, it was like Newsweek.

[Pam]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I would say more like Time.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pam]

Anyway, so fuck that lady. Yeah, Seriously.

[Christina]

Free weird hats custom made by Funhouse.

[Pam]

You guys, hats worn by R.E.M.

[Christina]

Different weird hats.

[Pam]

Weirder.

[Christina]

Yeah, you got to turn your head again. Mark Vashel, lead guitar player of the LA power funk band Funhouse and maker.

[Pam]

Of Canadian pastry Treats.

[Christina]

Makes crushed velvet berets in his spare time. Because we care. We are giving away five of Mark's creations. I like to think they snatch them off people in protest. And then we're like, oh, I don't want it in the office either.

[Dave]

They're hideous.

[Pam]

There are so many things I associate with this look. Not even if it was just the hat and we didn't see the guy wearing it, I would say, all right, white dude with dreads re oil for sure. Like, there's crushed velvet. Accoutrement is just like a red flag. Like, turn around. Get out of the building. Something bad's gonna happen. They don't know how to use their equipment, and they're just, like, all high, and it's gonna burn down. It's gonna be another great white situation. Get out of the building.

[Christina]

But this also doesn't look like beret. Like, it looks like it's tall.

[Pam]

No, it looks like a Mad Hatter kind of thing.

[Christina]

Yes, it does. And I think the decision was made to not only turn it sideways to minimize, hopefully, the number of people that are going to look at it, but also make it real small so you can't really see the hat and how dumb it looks.

[Pam]

It's the kind of hat that appeals to the kind of person that when he's wearing the hat, he would do the whole Mad Hatter thing, and you'd be like, at the club. And then suddenly he would yell, change places. And he would start playing again until everybody changed seats. Like, everybody.

[Dave]

He doesn't have a tv. Like, he doesn't own a tv. He smokes cloves.

[Pam]

Yep. Cloves. Smokes. Yep.

[Dave]

Only has that one pair of Birkenstocks.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

They're so gross.

[Pam]

He's the first guy in North America to drink kombucha. He named it.

[Dave]

He's growing out his nails on purpose.

[Christina]

Hat.

[Dave]

Mel Gibson's gonna be playing the title role in a new movie version of Hamlet. You mean Ambassador Gibson, Our new lord and savior here in Hollywood who's gonna fix everything? Oh, my God.

[Christina]

I thought we weren't talking about current events.

[Dave]

Ugh. I'm just saying I think it's interesting that there's no, like, everything is exactly in, like, today's news. It's just been weird how Everybody turned out 30 years later is not what everyone would have thought. No, don't correct me on my math. It's 30, right? Who cares?

[Christina]

30 plus.

[Pam]

She said don't correct her on her math.

[Christina]

Okay, sorry.

[Dave]

Yeah, she was right.

[Pam]

But she didn't want to be corrected. Yeah, ish. See, we didn't want the ish. We just want to know. I won't bore you as our next little snippet by recounting all of New Kids on the blocks. Brushes with the law that I have been flooding the paper. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, the point of this is, apparently there's this guy named Biscuit. Now, Biscuit really was a manager of New Kids on The block. But they did this thing where they pretended he was their bodyguard. And then Biscuit had this sort of tangent career from just being around the new kids on the block at their zenith, that he had his own little mini musical career, which was the song you heard up top all about Biscuit. And I didn't treat you to all the samples in that song. So look up that. Look up Biscuit on YouTube and enjoy that. It is very much sounds like, like NC MC Hammer song or something like that.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Pam]

I. I would say. And then he's. He's still. He's still in the industry. He's still doing stuff and producing and everything. So good for Biscuit.

[Dave]

Did you learn that through this or did you already know this about Biscuit?

[Pam]

No, I saw Biscuit and they mentioned his bodyguard. He's releasing his new album. So I tracked down the album and sure enough, Biscuit is there on YouTube for your listening pleasure. And he was. He's got videos, he's on the stage, he's singing. Only refers to as the kids in his own stuff. And there's some copyright issues. Obviously. If I told you that story without playing the song, you would probably think the song was a lot worse than it was.

[Christina]

Yeah, that was confident.

[Pam]

Yep.

[Christina]

Sorry you gotta turn your head again for Cute Band Alert. This one is Run, Westie, Run. Christina writes that ever since she put Bullet Lavolta in what now? And under the Cute Band Alert umbrella, she's been flooded with future Cute Band Alert aspirants. And she wasn't planning on making this a regular thing. But now here's Run, Westy, Run. And I don't think I've ever listened to their music, and I still haven't. But if you woke me up on my deathbed, hopefully many years from now, and said, run, Westy, Run, I would just remember Cute Band Alert. That's my only context for them. There's a little picture of them. Of course, you can't have a Cute Band Alert without the visual proof. And she says that their album sounds as fine as Craig Johnson looks. And I just want to ask our listeners, go to the visual aids. Look at these guys. Is Craig the cutest even of the three Johnsons in the band? Because to me, I don't. He's. He's. He's not. He's not my top Johnson. I would say Kirk or Kyle are cuter than Craig.

[Dave]

Honey, do you want to hear my top Johnson? I think he's cute. You can't tell. He's got the.

[Christina]

He's got a lot of Johnny Depp.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, he's got the Johnny Depp thing going of. He's got good cheekbones.

[Pam]

Kind of looks like Ed from Northern Exposure to me.

[Christina]

Mm, I can see that.

[Dave]

I can fix him.

[Pam]

All their names are. If I told you that there were five finalists to take over Family Circus, uh huh. And start drawing and producing new Family Circuses and their names were Dan Davis, Kyle Johnson, Kirk Johnson, Terry Fisher or Craig Johnson, you would buy a 100% that one of those guys was a 60 year old man and he's going to redo Family Circus.

[Christina]

I would, except that Craig spells his name with a K, which he shouldn't.

[Pam]

That's why he was. He's the first one out.

[Dave]

Yeah, he's indie. He's like.

[Christina]

I see he's.

[Dave]

He's going. He's got the comedy K. Yes. Flip your head in the other direction for the zine of the month. Jigsaws put out by quote, this girl Toby, a drummer from Olympia, Washington, who used to play with Go Team. This girl Toby, Go team became bikini kill. And this girl Toby is Toby Vale, who is like one of our Riot girls. Jigsaw went down in history. If you happen to have a copy of this book Riot grrrl collection or if you don't, go ahead and get it. That is kind of one of the only places where you can still find Jigsaw archived. Yeah, Toby's still active. You can find her on Instagram and people still write articles about the time that she was Kurt Cobain's girlfriend because perhaps she's why we have some songs like Come as you are and other things on Nevermind.

[Christina]

I hesitate to add to the continuing coverage of the sassiest boy in America. It is our last what now item this month and Christina doesn't really have much news here. What stood out to me is what she sort of tried to just, you know, hand wave away, which is she stayed at his house when she went to D.C. and it's not clear if she was there, like on a reporting trip or what the story is, why was she staying at his house? What is going on here? Is there a reason that she continues to bring him up and what now? I'm not saying they're dating, I'm just saying it's curious. Also, she says that while she was there he got a call about possibly auditioning for the movie mobsters future Patrick Dempsey vehicle, if I recall correctly. And he did not end up being that. So in case you were wondering, flopped on that One. Watch it. Our hit this month, reviewed by Ann El, is the Field. And I don't have a lot to say about this movie other than for some reason it played in Toronto for a really long time. I just remember seeing the ad, the newspaper ad for it with Richard Harris looking old as hell for like what felt like months in the Globe and Mail. Anyway, it's a stirring drama set in the Irish countryside, blah, blah, blah. You know, someone has a field, someone wants to buy it. It's weird.

[Dave]

Taylor's oldest.

[Christina]

Yes. Tradition clashes with the modern concept.

[Pam]

Donald, you never get my land.

[Christina]

Tradition clashes with the modern concept of progress and the almighty dollar. And when you unironically use a phrase like that, your editor is supposed to save you from yourself. That just makes everything else you do after that sound dumb.

[Pam]

So all I D auler.

[Christina]

Thank you. Exactly.

[Pam]

Never heard of it.

[Dave]

Never heard of it.

[Pam]

Heard of the next one, though.

[Christina]

The next one is Mermaids, which gets three stars. Reviewed by Karen. You can watch it right now on Fubo. I guess as long as it still exists and doesn't get folded into Hulu or whatever the hell is going on with all these platforms. But anyway, she writes this whole review. It's positive. It's a mother daughter movie. True. I don't know how you review this movie for Sassy without mentioning that Michael Shuffling from Sixteen Candles is the love interest. Who is the reason that Winona Ryder's character decides, oh, maybe I don't wanna be a nun after all. Because I'm so horny for the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Other than Bob Hoskins, of course.

[Pam]

So they're not actually mermaids? I've never seen it. They're not like sirens and they sing and they eat sailors when they come to their rock?

[Christina]

No. It's been a long time since I've seen it. I think it's that.

[Pam]

It's Harry. Harry. What's his name? Harry Harryhausen.

[Dave]

Dean Stanton?

[Pam]

No, the stop motion guy. Has he got, like, monsters in this film? No, I think it's not interested.

[Dave]

What? Anyway, if you had told me I.

[Pam]

Couldn'T remember the guy's last name.

[Christina]

Everybody listening to Harryhausen.

[Pam]

Harryhausen. Thank you.

[Dave]

If you told me right now there was a streaming service called Fubo, I'd be like, I'm not buying this. I don't believe you. You're fucking with me. And you guys would be like, pam, it's real. That's where you can see mermaids. And I'm like, I'm not gonna Go look for Fubo.

[Pam]

You guys. What about Tubi?

[Christina]

That's also real.

[Dave]

Tubi also sounds like you specifically made it up.

[Pam]

Sure, there's a history there.

[Dave]

I have no evidence of Tubi or Fubo existing. I don't. I barely. Is it on Roku? I don't know how to find these services.

[Pam]

There's a whole bunch of four letters TV providers now. It's like Ven Ven venue but without an E. There's to just multiply every day and one day there will be a reckoning.

[Christina]

There is a viral tweet about this. Have you seen the new show? It's on Tubu. It's literally on Heebie. It's on Pootie with ads. It's literally on Dippy. You can probably find it on Oui. No, dude, it's on Gumpy. It's a Fevo original. It's on Poob. You can watch it on Poob. You can go to Poob and watch it. Log on to Poob right now. Go to Poob. Dive into Poob. You can Poob it. It's on Poob. Poob has it for you. Poob has it for you. Finally, our bomb is Meet the Applegates. This movie bombards you with one of the most idiotic premises to date. The idea is that it is the world's first eco comedy about a family of Amazon arthropods fighting to save their forest from human destruction by taking up residence in small town usa. Basically, bugs get turned into humans and are passing to try to take down a nuclear plant. And this is a very negative review and it's totally convincing. And then I watched the trailer was like, oh, no. I kind of want to watch the stupid movie.

[Dave]

It's not animated.

[Christina]

No, it's live action. The parents of the family are Ed Begley Jr. And Stockard Channing.

[Dave]

Daphne Coleman's in it only a little bit.

[Pam]

Pam. He's only in it a little bit. And you know why? He's only in the movie a little bit. Little dabble deer.

[Dave]

You take that back to Fubo.

[Pam]

All right. Time in years.

[Dave]

5 stars to in excess's X or 10. I suppose it's 10. Review by Neil. I don't know why Dave pulled this song. When By My side is the most beautiful song from this album. It's gorgeous.

[Pam]

Because I'm stupid, Pam. Whoever thought this is stupid?

[Christina]

It was me.

[Pam]

No. Fight.

[Dave]

Fine.

[Pam]

Fight.

[Dave]

It's fine. I don't. That's fine. Anyway, I think Suicide Blonde's on this album. But Neil most Of the time just talks about how awesome NXS are and then. Then begins saying stuff like, hey, don't you guys like this great song? And this other song, was that awesome? And then this other song, isn't it cool? And I'm like, no, it's a review of the songs. You tell us, is it good? Is it? What is it? What are you. What are you doing, Neil? I rarely get this frustrated with Neil, but this one, I was like, this is not. This is nothing.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Pam]

I mean, if you're going to give somebody who's not part of the editorial team a job, sure. Like, a music review is pretty easy pickings, but you have to remind them to actually review it and not just basically find a way to list things without commentary. Yeah.

[Dave]

If anything, it just plugs other things they've done that aren't this album for half of the review and then the rest is. Wasn't that song great? I guess I'll find out. Merry go round in dreams ride some time Dreams when she sleeps she's free Now I go.

[Christina]

Speaking of people wasting the space of their record views, Christina gives four stars to the Replacements. All shook down and writes record reviews are so stupid. Critics perform verbal gymnastics trying to describe music writing such anthropomorphisms as a guitar solo that chain smokes, camels and drums snapping like fists hitting flesh. I get so irritated reading reviews in Rolling Stone or Spin, partly because I do not know what they mean and partly because I would never think of such original italicized phrasings. Anyway, now to use my remaining hundred words to write about this album I've been assigned to review. I mean, I'd love to be mad at this other than, you know, that the first half could have just been a what now? Item and then she could have actually written about the album that she's supposed to be reviewing. But she is right. Record reviews are very pretentious. So I take her point.

[Pam]

Do you think Weird Al's angry with himself? He never made a song from that one called Fritos.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Dave]

You gotta smell what you taste.

[Christina]

Put in a line about smelling like dog's feet.

[Pam]

Yeah, like dog's feet.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Dave]

On the poison snack machine. Yeah. So good.

[Christina]

Straight off reviewing Mermaids without making mentioning Michael Schoffling. It's Karen now she's reviewing Listen Without Prejudice without mentioning Freedom 90, the best song on that album. I'm sorry, it just is. And if you have watched either of the recent doc series about modeling in the 90s, the supermodels on Apple TV plus or in Vogue, the 90s on Hulu. This one gets a lot of play because it's. The video is filled with all of the biggest supermodels of the time, and they sort of identified with it, too. They walked to it in a Versace show, very famously. It's a great song. I love it. Huge oversight from Karen. Our one to watch this month is Christopher Cerrone. He plays young Henry Hill in Goodfellas, and he is 14. He comes in from Flushing, Queens, to talk to Christina about his hopes and aspirations for the rest of his career. And I think for some reason had always thought he just quit acting after this. He didn't. He. He acted in a few other things. I found a very long profile of him in the Daily Mail pegged to the 25th anniversary of Goodfellas, where he talked about how much he got bullied after the movie and how he was, like, losing parts or, you know, going to auditions that ended up going to Chris O'Donnell and Christian Bale. And so I guess he, you know, decided that acting was not for him or acting decided he was not for it. And he didn't really do anymore. But he is still around still, like.

[Pam]

Eating egg noodles and ketchup, I guess.

[Christina]

But I remember him being good in that part. But maybe he was just extremely well directed and other directors didn't see what Martin Scorsese did.

[Pam]

But, yeah, I thought he's fine in that. Although he did most of his stuff over Ray Liotta's narration.

[Christina]

True.

[Pam]

You know, he. He was teed up for a lot of the stuff, but I thought he was good.

[Christina]

I mean, he does get that. That moment where his mother opens the door and he's standing there in his, like, shark suit. Got parodied on the Simpsons. So, you know, that's not nothing.

[Dave]

He's in a movie called Pumpkin Hole, which is not a good title at all. Oh, it's a. It's a really insulting 18 plus.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Pam]

That's in the section at the back of the video store, kid.

[Dave]

You can't watch it. His cute little picture, though. He does look like a little Keanu.

[Christina]

Mm.

[Dave]

And here at the bottom, Christina says, P.S. to those readers who claim I suffer from eternal PMS and never like any celebrities. I thought Christopher was very sweet. So there.

[Christina]

Yeah. She does, however, also seem hamstrung by the fact that he is 14. So she can't go on and on about how hot he is, because he sure shouldn't. A child.

[Dave]

She shouldn't. He even says like he had to go back to ninth grade. Yeah, yikes.

[Christina]

Apparently go back and get his ass kicked every day.

[Dave]

Should we put someone this young in a teen magazine? Boys like one to watch. I perhaps like I understand the publicist is like but it's it does seem very young for what we normally do to the boys in this space.

[Christina]

Well, we wish him the best.

[Pam]

Yes. Although he's Christopher Serone. Not to watch.

[Christina]

Kind of.

[Pam]

That's my official declaration.

[Christina]

Next time we'll be discussing the fashion etc of the January 1991 issue. Pastels are in, so get ready to look like Easter, fix your skin, find the perfect white T shirt and more for my plug this week. You don't need to worry about anything I'm doing and I'm going to shout out Mutual aid LA and link that in the show notes. If you have money or time, if you're local that you can give them to help the work they're doing, please do.

[Dave]

And I'm going to link to anti recidivism.org I never know if I'm saying that correctly. There you can support the prisoners who are firefighters on the front line. It is a controversial take of our incarcerated fire. Incarcerated people forced to do the very dangerous work of putting out fires.

[Pam]

If you have trouble saying anti recidivism, just try it again and again and again. You can follow Tara Taraariano on Social. You can follow Pam Amelaribbon. The show is Listen to Sassy. Plug it into some social, see what comes back. We're on some, we're not on others. Deal with it. You can support us on Patreon. Just $5 a month gets you great perks like the full PDF of the magazine that we're currently talking about for your downloading pleasure ad. Free episodes and access to the Discord where you can talk to your hosts and other listeners plus all the other podcasts under our umbrella.

[Dave]

You can also call us. Our hotline is 7:20 Sassy Go. You can leave us a voicemail about the show or the magazine and we may play it on a future episode at one of our slumber parties.

[Pam]

It's extremely blow joby.