Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s
Episode: June 1991 Teen Life: Chilling Out, Quitting Church & Going To Antarctica
Release Date: October 28, 2025
Hosts: Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, David T. Cole
Episode Overview
In this episode, Tara, Pam, and Dave take a deep-dive into the June 1991 issue of Sassy magazine, discussing notable features—including the controversial “It’s a Black Thing” (written by a white author), a teen’s Antarctic adventure, teen relaxation tips, relationship advice, friendship dilemmas, coping with headaches, and more. As always, the hosts infuse their sarcastic wit, perspective, and nostalgia for ‘90s teen culture, offering both criticism and affection for the magazine that shaped a generation.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Sassy’s Summer Vibes and Classic Yearbook Feels ([02:42])
- The June 1991 issue’s “spine line” is classic end-of-yearbook: "You are too good to be forgotten. Love ya! Write me at camp!!!"
- Summer’s coming and Sassy is "swimsuits galore," but features in the issue are more mixed.
2. Feature Review: "It’s a Black Thing" ([03:10]–[06:26])
- Hosts critique Sassy’s decision to run a feature about Black experiences, written by a white author, and recognize the lack of editorial diversity at the magazine.
- Tara: "Maybe you should hire one person of color, because they haven't. As of this issue." ([02:55])
- Pam: "It’s very like, 'I’m doing my part. This is why reverse racism—' you’re like, no, no, no, no, no." ([04:17])
- Tara points out problematic author lines, e.g., a white girl writing: "I feel more acutely than I ever have, as though I'm being prejudged by the color of my skin."
- The hosts note the feature covers important issues but lacks necessary perspective and depth:
- "There’s intentions and there’s execution. And this is often the issue with the bummer features in this magazine—biting off more than you can chew...with no one experienced to guide it." ([05:16])
- Dave: Reflects how, today, articles would emphasize "the low level sense of dread...that everything is wrong and you can't do anything about it. That's only new to you, right?" ([06:11])
3. Youth Relationships: "How to Be a Couple" ([06:39]–[08:12])
- The article uses a quirky analogy: "Being in a couple is just like eating a frozen scroll banana. When you see other people doing it, you want to do it too. It's not until you take a bite that you realize how hard it is."
- Tara: "Love that analogy. I thought that was really funny." ([07:11])
- Ultimately, the feature is a "snooze," with generic relationship advice: "Here’s the good parts of being together, here are the bad parts. Anyway, bye." ([07:28])
- Hosts comically speculate on the outcome for the teen couples but doubt any stayed together.
4. Adventure Feature: "The Last Clean Place on Earth" ([08:37]–[15:21])
- Pam knows the author, Amy Turner, who journeyed to Antarctica (not sent by Sassy, but with a family).
- Key travel anecdotes:
- Four days to get there, four days back; 17 days in a tent.
- Extreme cold! The sun never sets in Antarctic summer.
- The practicality and grossness of “packing out” one’s waste due to the lack of bacteria—"everything goes in the bag, and the bag goes on the plane." ([14:23])
- Tara: "You can't leave any waste there because there's no bacteria to break it down." ([14:23])
- Pam: "A third suitcase, I suggested." ([14:32])
- Dave: "If you're bringing an extra suitcase just for poops, just poop right in the suitcase." ([14:45])
- The hosts have zero interest in visiting Antarctica, repeatedly referencing the dangers, discomfort, and lack of bathrooms:
- Tara: "The degree to which I would never even consider doing this is, like, off the charts." ([12:41])
- For the adventurous: “If you want to pack out your own poop from Antarctica, do that at home.” ([15:09])
5. Sassy’s List: "26 Cheap and Effective Ways to Chill Yourself Out" ([15:46]–[18:42])
- The list reads with striking similarity to pandemic-era advice (e.g., baking bread, watching TV).
- Tara: "I watched bad tv. Oh, like Tiger King." ([16:08])
- The hosts critique the Editor-in-Chief’s (Jane's) own calming tips:
- Pam: "Jane’s is the most annoying, hands down." ([16:15])
- Jane’s list: massage, chamomile tea, macrobiotic food, painting, fixing furniture, watching scary movies, sauna, talking to Keanu pictures.
- Pam: "That is why we have Goop...You gotta be careful what you put out there, you get Goop." ([17:04])
- Discuss music, including rare bands (Trash Can Sinatras) and the bravery of exposing one’s music taste to younger generations.
6. Short Takes: Fiction, Health, and Life Skill Features
Fiction Story: "Plucking Friends" ([21:33]–[24:08])
- Unmemorable story about friendship, prom/boyfriend drama, and veiled parental homophobia.
- Tara: "The story’s dumb. Let's keep going." ([24:08])
Health Snippet: Headache Triggers ([24:32]–[28:41])
- Foods that allegedly cause headaches: bananas, caffeine, cured meats, chocolate, etc.
- Dave: "Pizza sauce doesn’t hang off your face." ([38:40])
- Tara shares her lived experience with headache diagnosis/treatment, noting that "now there are drugs that treat [headaches], which there weren’t at the time. And it’s a better world in that respect." ([26:32])
- Dave invents "a hard hat baseball helmet" cooler idea for headache sufferers; leads to jokes about stacking books for relief. ([27:14])
Random Facts & Quizzes
- 39% of 14-year-olds can’t do a pull-up. Not a single host can either. ([32:30])
- Pam: "I drive a Dodge Stratus and I hip thrust 200 pounds 10 times the other day. Can't do one pull up." ([33:04])
- Average American took 15,000 steps daily, per 1991—hosts debunk this using their own fitness trackers. ([29:11])
7. Help! Column: Classic Teen Dilemmas ([38:03]–[40:41])
- Food phobia: Embarrassment eating in front of boyfriend—advice is just “you have to eat.”
- Dave’s pet peeve: "Pizza sauce doesn’t hang off your face. Cheese does!"
- Sibling problems: Girl’s older brother relentlessly flirts with her friends.
- Pam: "Tell your parents. Tell their parents. Tell all." ([39:24])
- Dave jokes: "He got bit by a radioactive stud." ([39:24])
- Nutrient of the Month and Sassy Glossary (linguistic goofs).
8. “You Wrote” / Letters Section ([41:03]–[43:25])
- The poetry and quotations section is now thin, and mostly filled with borrowed content (Wayne Gretzky, Salinger, and others).
- Tara: "You miss all the shots you take. Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott." ([41:03])
- Amy Wu’s poem inspires extended host riffing: "I was the runner, she was the taco girl." ([42:39])
- Katie from the Bronx asks about White House mail; hosts joke, "These days, no, it's occupier." ([43:13])
9. Notable Quotes & Moments
-
On the handling of sensitive stories:
"There's intentions and there's execution… You're biting off more than you can chew."
—Tara Ariano ([05:16]) -
On the Antarctica diary:
"The degree to which I would never even consider doing this is, like, off the charts."
—Tara ([12:41]) -
On the “chill out” list:
"You gotta be careful what you put out there. You get Goop."
—Pam ([17:04]) -
On ‘90s health advice:
"All of the onus of this is on you to police your own behavior...and you know, you don't hear a lot about these recommendations of headaches anymore because now there are drugs that treat it."
—Tara ([26:32]) -
On not being able to do pull-ups:
"I drive a Dodge Stratus and I hip thrust 200 pounds 10 times the other day. Can't do one pull up."
—Pam ([33:04]) -
On Sassy’s editorial process:
"Pizza sauce doesn't hang off your face. Cheese can drip off your face, baby. And that's even pretty hard to do."
—Dave ([38:40])
Noteworthy Segments & Timestamps
- [02:42] — Introduction to the June ‘91 issue & yearbook/classic Sassy vibes
- [03:10] — Discussion of "It’s a Black Thing" feature critique
- [07:11] — “How to be a Couple” and the frozen banana analogy
- [08:37] — Antarctic adventure: practical, personal, and hilarious
- [15:46] — “26 Cheap and Effective Ways to Chill Yourself Out” & pandemic/Goop comparisons
- [21:33] — Fiction feature: "Plucking Friends"
- [24:32] — Headache triggers and health culture of the ‘90s
- [29:11] — Step-tracking then vs. now
- [32:30] — Teenage fitness: the great pull-up fail
- [38:03] — Help! column: food phobia, sibling drama
- [41:03] — “You Wrote” section: poetic tangents and borrowed quotes
Tone & Style
- Sarcastic, loving, gently critical—always keeping the wit and affection for Sassy’s pivotal role clear.
- Numerous callbacks, Gen-X inside jokes, and playful bickering.
Final Thoughts
This episode masterfully blends deep ‘90s nostalgia with sharp, present-day insight about representation, teen angst, and changing cultural norms. From dissecting Sassy’s editorial missteps to the hilarious logistics of pooping in Antarctica, the hosts offer a witty, candid retrospective that’s both affectionate and pointed.
Next Episode Teaser
"Pop Culture Topics of the June 1991 Issue: Richard Grieco and Morrissey reviewed, River Phoenix profiled, Winona Ryder spotted, and more!" ([43:25])
