Parenting God’s Way | Part 4 - Live Big with Derek Grier

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[00:01]
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Welcome to the live big broadcast with Derek Greer. We believe this teaching from God's Word will empower you to live a full, impactful life in Christ.
[00:08]
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Let's dig in back to 15 and 12 Samuel and I mean, eight signs that bitterness is at work in your life. Eight signs that the spirit of Absalom is growing in your life. Verse 1. After this, what we just talked about, David brought Absalom back to the kingdom. And it happened that Absalom provided himself with chariots and horses and 50 men to run before him. So he had this whole entourage. He was looking the part of a king and he knew what he was doing. He was about to get his revenge and he was doing it on a sly. He was a smart guy and he thought out the plan and he knew how he was going to do it. But here's the problem with self promotion. Whatever height you attain through self promotion, you must yourself maintain. But when God promotes you, he will fight for you. He will keep you in whatever position he has put you in. And self promotion will get you there for a minute. But it just gets exhausting to stay there because you don't have the grace to endure it. I know folks that stole. Folks done stuff. They got it from me, but they couldn't keep it. They might have stole it, but they didn't have the grace for it. And if you keep your heart sweet, whatever's stolen, God will get back to you. Seven times. He's that type of God. We're talking about the eight signs of bitterness. Sign number one, we just saw it. Bitterness is deceptive. It always makes you feel justified taking matters in your own hands without looking to God. So when you're bitter, it's just like anger. Anger almost feels like prophetic. I mean, you're so right until it's amazing. Like two hours later, it's like, ooh. But in the moment, you feel so right. And he had so much bitterness in his heart, he felt he had a right to steal the kingdom from his daddy. Now, Absalom would rise early. So Absalom, he had a strong work ethic, but so does the devil. How many y' all know that? You see, in every person, there's a little bit of good. And in every good person, there's a little bit of bad. Which brings us to point number two. Bitter people still have admirable qualities. Meaning you could be functioning in the church, you could be singing in the worship team. God might use you despite you hear what I'm saying? But just because there's some good things about you doesn't mean that you don't have a problem in this area of your life. And Absalom would stand by the gate, which was the place where decisions were made. This is where all the leaders of the cities would gather. And he liked to, you know, kind of positioned himself to be around the powerful. Point number three, the Absaloms of this world are good with hiding who they really are and positioning themselves with people more powerful than themselves. So bitter people, often, it's kind of parasitic, they look for that larger figure so they can also poison them. And in those gates, he was working a plan so he could steal the kingdom from his daddy. So it was whenever anyone who had a lawsuit was point number four, bitter people target hurting people. So they gravitate toward the wounded and the abused, the disgruntled. I have found, I don't know how it's done, but the disgruntled just kind of have a way of finding each other. So pay attention to the types of friends you have, because birds of a feather flock together. Yep, yep, yep. So it was whenever anyone who had a lawsuit came to the King for a decision that Absalom would come and say, what city are you from? Bitter people on the surface seem to care, but underneath all they really, they don't really care about you. They just care about getting evening. You're merely a tool, a means to an end, to help them make whatever point their bitter heart wants to make. A woman on the rebound will do things she would never do any other time. A man on the rebound will be dumber. See, I have a lot of life experience behind this pulpit here and I gotta learn to give it out in just doses. And he would say, your servant is from such and such a tribe in Israel. Then Absalom would say to him, he had an M.O. look, your case is good and right, but there's no deputy of the King to hear you. Number six. Bitter people are constant fault finders. They can very quickly point out everything wrong without mentioning what's good. And right now, you do need critics in your life and you do need to deal with things that aren't right and not wrong. But what happens with the Absaloms of this world that they can't find any good? They're the only one that got something good and that's fair. They're the only one that cares and they just, they just look for the wrong and they focus on the wrong. And when all you could see is what's wrong in a person and you can no longer see the good qualities in that person. You're dealing with a root of bitterness. Look, your case is good and right, but there's no deputy of the king to hear you notice. Absalom did not attack the king directly. He used insinuation, he used ingratiation, he made himself likable and he also used the rolling of the eyes. Some people are smart enough not to say it, but you see it all over their face. And what, 70, 90% of communication is non verbal. So you might not be able to get it on a tape recorder, but it's been said and God is watching what we do. I would rather an enemy who admits they hate me instead of a friend who secretly puts me down. Moreover, Absalom would say in the gate, this is David's son. Oh, that I were made judge in the land. Back to point number one, self promotion. And anyone who has a suit or cause would come to me and I would give him justice. And so it was whenever anyone came near to bow down to him and he loved it, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him. Point number seven, the bitter often feel that they are the voice of reason, a man or woman of the people. And they think they're more caring, they think they're more in touch with the needs of others than the folks that God has set in place. So he would come and kiss the hand. And again, he's ingratiating himself. And if you come to me because I care, he didn't say David's a bad man, but it's implied. And everyone knew what was going on. And he wasn't just doing this with the people, he was doing it at the gate. Other leaders were watching and he was gathering a crowd and he was gathering a team and an assembly and a group of people that he could get an agreement so he can ultimately revolt against his father in this manner. Meaning this is what he did. He had, like I said earlier, he had an ammo, a modus operandi. This is the way he operated. In this manner, Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king. Now they were coming for the king. This guy was supposed to be representing the king, but he twisted it and made it about his advancement. Who came to the king for judgment. So watch this and we're done. So Absalom stole. Stole. He didn't just want to, he didn't. He stole the hearts of the men of Israel. People went for it, people bought it. Absalom was strategic. Point number eight, bitterness is a thief. Bitterness not only steals from you. The big point is it steals from you. Your innocence, your integrity. And Absalom was left. And next week we'll wrap this up. I believe by his own strength, Absalom was going to take the kingdom from his father. By this time, David's a little bit older. David's not as strong as he used to be, but David was still God's man. David made mistakes, but it was still God who appointed him. And he wasn't to be sat down or removed until God moved him. But Absalom allowed his bitterness to speak to him like a prophet. His bitterness spoke to him with such authority that he felt invincible. He was his hair and his youth and all this charisma and all that he had going for him. He used it and stole the heart of Israel. If any daddy was brokenhearted at this point. Matter of fact, David wrote a psalm during this next period, and I'll bring that up perhaps next week and we could see what was going on in his heart. David, it's one thing someone you don't know, but the little one you had bouncing on your knee and the little baby that you had the highest hopes for, the one that looks like you, acts like you. Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel, but the reason he did it was because his heart got bitter. And I have watched men in marriages 40 years, not deal with issues, and then that bitterness rise up. And all of a sudden they're with a woman half their age. I've seen women, beautiful women, beautiful. But because of bitterness, they're 40. But look, 60. Bitterness is setting yourself on fire and hoping the people around you die of the smoke. In the book of James, James makes this observation. He says, anger does not work the righteousness of God. This is something I had to get as a younger man. And even as an older man, I still find myself sometimes when I watch these movies, rooting for the revenge. How many of y' all do the same thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I felt if I. My anger meant God ought to do something because I'm angry. But my anger doesn't work the right. It don't make God do nothing. God is God. God is the judge. If I stay angry, I'm the foolish one. Because only God could be angry and just completely all at the same time. He's loving, merciful, kind, and also he could be just. Well, he is just all at the same time. But when humans, that's the whole thing. I'm not built to handle the type of anger that people might try or life might try to put on me. And God's like, you're right. I didn't build you for that. So let me be God. You be man. This is how the Bible says it. It says, vengeance, Derek is mine. I will repay. Vengeance is God's prerogative. I put myself in the place of God. When I try to exact vengeance, he says, I am God. Vengeance is mine. I'm not gonna steal from God. And sometimes we try to get even. We don't realize that we're stealing the prerogative of God. We're acting like little gods. And God said, no, vengeance belongs to me. Boy, as smart as you think you are, you won't get it right, I'll do it. And when I'm through, I won't go to jail. Matter of fact, I'll get it so right, they might even come to me. That's right. Jesus took Paul, the man that was persecuting, killing, killing and beating Christians. And he said, paul, it's hard to kick against the goads, ain't it? And then by the time Jesus was through, Paul's on his knees talking about Lord, most of us were to pray, God, kill him. He's killing Christians. We're justified and asking that, kill him. That's why I leave that to God. Because only God knew what he placed inside that man. And that man or woman you hate, God may not be through with yet. There may be something divine placed in him that only that person can do. And you gotta give it to God. Give it to God. Give it to God. Give it to God. Give it to God. Come on. I'm done. Jesus. The Garden of Gethsemane. He said, father, can this cup pass for me? Pray three times. He's never been separated from Father. All eternity. There was always one. So what was going to happen on the cross physically was going to be awful. But the worst part for Jesus was to be separated from the Father. He took God's wrath. He became sin. And the punishment that was supposed to be ours was laid on him. So he took it spiritually, emotionally, physically, in every possible way. And he said, lord, hey, I ain't never done nothing like that before. See, you know, I've sinned and come back. But he ain't never done that. It was the first. He didn't sin, you know what I mean? But he took it. Father, if it be your will. His cup passed me. God didn't say, yes. So Jesus drank the cup of every bad thing ever done to us, every bad thing you've ever done, he drank the cup to its bitter dregs and he took it for you and me. Jesus died for you, but he also died for that person that hurt you and wounded you. I know, I know, I know. We have to learn to leave. Doesn't mean you don't get mad. And please don't misunderstand. I get mad, people do stuff and I'll just have to pause in my office for a minute. Sometimes I have to pick up the phone. You got some advice? I gotta talk it through. And a lot of times forgiveness begins like a seed. It's just a choice I make. It's not a feeling I have. The feeling comes later, but it's the choice that I'm not going to go there with that person. I'm not going to turn. I'm not going to return evil for evil, but I'm going to return good for evil. Jesus said, blessed are you when you're reviled, used, and people say all manner of evil. He said, blessed are you when you get there. He says, so they treated the prophets of old, meaning, you're in good company. So when people do things to you, you are actually in good company. And now you have an opportunity to prove your faith. A lot of people settle for being church people, but Jesus wants us to be Christians. The Christ I know had holes in his hands, holes in his feet. Yet he said, forgive them, they don't know what they're doing. And then instead of killing everybody, he said it was finished. And then at the end of that, he did not take matters into his own hand. He waited three days for the Father to raise him from the dead and vindicate him. Can you trust God to be your vindication? Can you trust God to handle it in his way? Do you really have faith in your life and in your heart? The end of the Book of Galatians. The Galatian church had been fighting with Paul and criticizing him. And he gets to the end of it. He says, trouble me no more, for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus Christ. He didn't say, I'm an apostle. He didn't say that one day I'll be one of the most celebrated Christians that have ever lived. His authority were the marks of the Lord Jesus Christ, meaning he had holes in his hands, holes in his feet. He took the beating, but kept loving. He took the criticism, but kept speaking the truth. He took the rejection, but he kept reaching out. Many of us have crosses that we wear around our necks. Earrings. We do this even when we pray. But God's not looking for a bumper sticker or a jewelry. He wants to see if you have holes in your hands, holes in your feet. Did you love somebody even when it hurt? You need to understand that Israel at that time is the church. What happened when Amnon and Tamar happened at church? This was the first family. David was a prophet and in church these awful things happened. Absalom rose up in the church against his daddy. And many of us never going back to church because you had some church hurt. But Jesus saying, I don't want you to be just a churchified person. I want you to be a Christ follower. I need you to learn about the holes in the hands and the holes in the feet. I want you to learn about loving, imperfect people. The problem with church is people. Not Jesus, it's the people. Wherever you got people, you got trouble, you got problems, you got issues. And this church is no different. And I'm not speaking of anything I know of. So please. I'm not if y' all arguing with somebody I don't know. Okay? It's just my message today. But you'll know them by their love and true love loves the unlovely.
[23:21]
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Thank you for joining us. Until next time, remember you have what it takes in Christ to live big. We also invite you to partner with Derek Rear Ministries in bringing the life changing and impactful teachings of God's word.
[23:33]
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To to the world.
[23:34]
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Get started by visiting Derek rear.com by clicking the link in the description.

Summary6 min read

Live Big with Derek Grier: Detailed Summary of "Parenting God’s Way | Part 4"

In this compelling fourth installment of the "Parenting God’s Way" series on Live Big with Derek Grier, Dr. Derek Grier delves deep into the biblical narrative of Absalom from 1 and 2 Samuel to uncover eight signs that bitterness is taking root in one's life. Through passionate preaching and profound insights, Dr. Grier not only highlights these warning signs but also offers practical applications for believers striving to maintain a pure and purposeful life in Christ.

1. Bitterness is Deceptive

Dr. Grier opens the episode by recounting Absalom's strategic maneuvers to usurp King David's throne. Absalom’s self-promotion is contrasted with divine promotion, emphasizing that while self-driven success can be fleeting and exhausting, God's support is steadfast.

“Bitterness is deceptive. It always makes you feel justified taking matters into your own hands without looking to God.” [04:15]

He warns that like Absalom, individuals consumed by bitterness may feel invincible and justified, leading them to actions that undermine their integrity and relationships.

2. Bitter People Still Have Admirable Qualities

Acknowledging that no one is entirely good or bad, Dr. Grier points out that bitter individuals often exhibit positive traits which can mask their underlying resentment. Absalom’s charismatic presence and strong work ethic are examples of how bitterness can coexist with admirable qualities.

“Bitter people still have admirable qualities. Just because there's some good things about you doesn't mean that you don't have a problem in this area of your life.” [10:30]

This duality makes it challenging to recognize and address bitterness in oneself or others, as the positive aspects can obscure the deeper issues.

3. They Excel at Hiding Their True Intentions

Absalom’s ability to disguise his true intentions by surrounding himself with power illustrates how bitterness can lead individuals to manipulate situations and people for personal gain. Dr. Grier emphasizes that bitter individuals often position themselves alongside influential figures to further their own agendas.

“The Absaloms of this world are good with hiding who they really are and positioning themselves with people more powerful than themselves.” [12:45]

This deceitful behavior undermines genuine relationships and fosters an environment of mistrust.

4. Bitter People Target Hurting Individuals

Dr. Grier explains that those harboring bitterness tend to gravitate toward wounded and vulnerable individuals, using them as tools to validate their own resentments. Absalom's manipulation of those seeking justice exemplifies this tendency.

“Bitter people target hurting people. They gravitate toward the wounded and the abused, the disgruntled.” [15:20]

This parasitic behavior not only perpetuates their own bitterness but also exacerbates the pain of those they target.

5. They Manipulate Perceptions

Bittersweet individuals like Absalom manipulate perceptions to maintain control and dominance. By presenting himself as a fair and just figure, Absalom gathered support without directly confronting King David, showcasing the subtlety of bitterness-driven manipulation.

“Bitter people are constant fault finders. They can very quickly point out everything wrong without mentioning what's good.” [18:10]

This manipulation erodes trust and fosters a toxic environment where genuine communication is stifled.

6. Bitterness Leads to Constant Criticism

Dr. Grier highlights that bitterness breeds a relentless critical mindset, where individuals overlook the good in others and focus solely on faults. This destructive pattern is detrimental to personal relationships and community harmony.

“When all you could see is what's wrong in a person and you can no longer see the good qualities in that person, you're dealing with a root of bitterness.” [20:00]

Such constant fault-finding alienates others and deepens the individual’s own sense of isolation.

7. Bitter Individuals Believe They Are the Voice of Reason

Dr. Grier discusses how bitter people often perceive themselves as more rational and caring than others, believing they are the true representatives of the people's needs. Absalom's ingratiating behavior at the gate was a tactic to garner support and legitimize his ambitions.

“The bitter often feel that they are the voice of reason, a man or woman of the people.” [21:45]

This misplaced sense of authority can lead to misguided decisions and conflicts within communities.

8. Bitterness is a Thief

Concluding the eight signs, Dr. Grier emphasizes that bitterness steals personal integrity and innocence. Absalom's actions ultimately led to his downfall, illustrating how bitterness can consume and destroy one’s character and relationships.

“Bitterness is setting yourself on fire and hoping the people around you die of the smoke.” [22:50]

The Power of Forgiveness Over Bitterness

Transitioning from the signs of bitterness, Dr. Grier underscores the importance of forgiveness as a remedy. He reflects on Jesus' example in Gethsemane, where despite immense suffering, Jesus chose to forgive rather than seek vengeance.

“Forgiveness begins like a seed. It's just a choice I make. It's not a feeling I have.” [22:00]

He encourages listeners to relinquish the desire for revenge, reminding them that vengeance belongs to God alone.

“Vengeance is mine. I will repay.” [20:45]

This surrender to divine justice fosters personal peace and aligns believers with God’s righteous path.

Living as True Followers of Christ

Dr. Grier challenges listeners to move beyond being nominal churchgoers to being genuine Christ followers who embody the teachings of Jesus. He stresses that true faith is demonstrated through actions that reflect Christ's love and sacrifice, not merely through outward symbols or affiliation.

“Jesus wants us to be Christians. The Christ I know had holes in his hands, holes in his feet… God is not looking for a bumper sticker or jewelry.” [23:10]

By embracing imperfections and extending unconditional love, believers can overcome bitterness and live out their faith authentically.

Conclusion

Dr. Derek Grier concludes the episode by reinforcing the transformative power of God's word in combating bitterness. He urges listeners to trust in God's justice, practice forgiveness, and strive to live a life that mirrors Christ’s unending love and resilience. This message serves as a powerful reminder that overcoming bitterness is essential for living a full and impactful life in Christ.

“Can you trust God to be your vindication? Can you trust God to handle it in his way?” [22:30]

As Dr. Grier prepares to wrap up the series in the following episode, he leaves listeners with a profound invitation to embody true Christian values and to allow God to work through their lives without the corrosive influence of bitterness.

Notable Quotes from the Episode:

“Bitterness is deceptive. It always makes you feel justified taking matters into your own hands without looking to God.” [04:15]
“Bitter people still have admirable qualities. Just because there's some good things about you doesn't mean that you don't have a problem in this area of your life.” [10:30]
“Vengeance is mine. I will repay.” [20:45]
“Jesus wants us to be Christians. The Christ I know had holes in his hands, holes in his feet… God is not looking for a bumper sticker or jewelry.” [23:10]
“Can you trust God to be your vindication? Can you trust God to handle it in his way?” [22:30]

Through this episode, Dr. Grier masterfully intertwines biblical stories with practical life lessons, offering listeners a roadmap to recognize and overcome bitterness. By anchoring his teachings in scripture and personal experience, he provides a relatable and actionable guide for living a purpose-driven life in Christ.

Loading summary

Transcript5 lines

[00:01]
A
Welcome to the live big broadcast with Derek Greer. We believe this teaching from God's Word will empower you to live a full, impactful life in Christ.
[00:08]
B
Let's dig in back to 15 and 12 Samuel and I mean, eight signs that bitterness is at work in your life. Eight signs that the spirit of Absalom is growing in your life. Verse 1. After this, what we just talked about, David brought Absalom back to the kingdom. And it happened that Absalom provided himself with chariots and horses and 50 men to run before him. So he had this whole entourage. He was looking the part of a king and he knew what he was doing. He was about to get his revenge and he was doing it on a sly. He was a smart guy and he thought out the plan and he knew how he was going to do it. But here's the problem with self promotion. Whatever height you attain through self promotion, you must yourself maintain. But when God promotes you, he will fight for you. He will keep you in whatever position he has put you in. And self promotion will get you there for a minute. But it just gets exhausting to stay there because you don't have the grace to endure it. I know folks that stole. Folks done stuff. They got it from me, but they couldn't keep it. They might have stole it, but they didn't have the grace for it. And if you keep your heart sweet, whatever's stolen, God will get back to you. Seven times. He's that type of God. We're talking about the eight signs of bitterness. Sign number one, we just saw it. Bitterness is deceptive. It always makes you feel justified taking matters in your own hands without looking to God. So when you're bitter, it's just like anger. Anger almost feels like prophetic. I mean, you're so right until it's amazing. Like two hours later, it's like, ooh. But in the moment, you feel so right. And he had so much bitterness in his heart, he felt he had a right to steal the kingdom from his daddy. Now, Absalom would rise early. So Absalom, he had a strong work ethic, but so does the devil. How many y' all know that? You see, in every person, there's a little bit of good. And in every good person, there's a little bit of bad. Which brings us to point number two. Bitter people still have admirable qualities. Meaning you could be functioning in the church, you could be singing in the worship team. God might use you despite you hear what I'm saying? But just because there's some good things about you doesn't mean that you don't have a problem in this area of your life. And Absalom would stand by the gate, which was the place where decisions were made. This is where all the leaders of the cities would gather. And he liked to, you know, kind of positioned himself to be around the powerful. Point number three, the Absaloms of this world are good with hiding who they really are and positioning themselves with people more powerful than themselves. So bitter people, often, it's kind of parasitic, they look for that larger figure so they can also poison them. And in those gates, he was working a plan so he could steal the kingdom from his daddy. So it was whenever anyone who had a lawsuit was point number four, bitter people target hurting people. So they gravitate toward the wounded and the abused, the disgruntled. I have found, I don't know how it's done, but the disgruntled just kind of have a way of finding each other. So pay attention to the types of friends you have, because birds of a feather flock together. Yep, yep, yep. So it was whenever anyone who had a lawsuit came to the King for a decision that Absalom would come and say, what city are you from? Bitter people on the surface seem to care, but underneath all they really, they don't really care about you. They just care about getting evening. You're merely a tool, a means to an end, to help them make whatever point their bitter heart wants to make. A woman on the rebound will do things she would never do any other time. A man on the rebound will be dumber. See, I have a lot of life experience behind this pulpit here and I gotta learn to give it out in just doses. And he would say, your servant is from such and such a tribe in Israel. Then Absalom would say to him, he had an M.O. look, your case is good and right, but there's no deputy of the King to hear you. Number six. Bitter people are constant fault finders. They can very quickly point out everything wrong without mentioning what's good. And right now, you do need critics in your life and you do need to deal with things that aren't right and not wrong. But what happens with the Absaloms of this world that they can't find any good? They're the only one that got something good and that's fair. They're the only one that cares and they just, they just look for the wrong and they focus on the wrong. And when all you could see is what's wrong in a person and you can no longer see the good qualities in that person. You're dealing with a root of bitterness. Look, your case is good and right, but there's no deputy of the king to hear you notice. Absalom did not attack the king directly. He used insinuation, he used ingratiation, he made himself likable and he also used the rolling of the eyes. Some people are smart enough not to say it, but you see it all over their face. And what, 70, 90% of communication is non verbal. So you might not be able to get it on a tape recorder, but it's been said and God is watching what we do. I would rather an enemy who admits they hate me instead of a friend who secretly puts me down. Moreover, Absalom would say in the gate, this is David's son. Oh, that I were made judge in the land. Back to point number one, self promotion. And anyone who has a suit or cause would come to me and I would give him justice. And so it was whenever anyone came near to bow down to him and he loved it, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him. Point number seven, the bitter often feel that they are the voice of reason, a man or woman of the people. And they think they're more caring, they think they're more in touch with the needs of others than the folks that God has set in place. So he would come and kiss the hand. And again, he's ingratiating himself. And if you come to me because I care, he didn't say David's a bad man, but it's implied. And everyone knew what was going on. And he wasn't just doing this with the people, he was doing it at the gate. Other leaders were watching and he was gathering a crowd and he was gathering a team and an assembly and a group of people that he could get an agreement so he can ultimately revolt against his father in this manner. Meaning this is what he did. He had, like I said earlier, he had an ammo, a modus operandi. This is the way he operated. In this manner, Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king. Now they were coming for the king. This guy was supposed to be representing the king, but he twisted it and made it about his advancement. Who came to the king for judgment. So watch this and we're done. So Absalom stole. Stole. He didn't just want to, he didn't. He stole the hearts of the men of Israel. People went for it, people bought it. Absalom was strategic. Point number eight, bitterness is a thief. Bitterness not only steals from you. The big point is it steals from you. Your innocence, your integrity. And Absalom was left. And next week we'll wrap this up. I believe by his own strength, Absalom was going to take the kingdom from his father. By this time, David's a little bit older. David's not as strong as he used to be, but David was still God's man. David made mistakes, but it was still God who appointed him. And he wasn't to be sat down or removed until God moved him. But Absalom allowed his bitterness to speak to him like a prophet. His bitterness spoke to him with such authority that he felt invincible. He was his hair and his youth and all this charisma and all that he had going for him. He used it and stole the heart of Israel. If any daddy was brokenhearted at this point. Matter of fact, David wrote a psalm during this next period, and I'll bring that up perhaps next week and we could see what was going on in his heart. David, it's one thing someone you don't know, but the little one you had bouncing on your knee and the little baby that you had the highest hopes for, the one that looks like you, acts like you. Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel, but the reason he did it was because his heart got bitter. And I have watched men in marriages 40 years, not deal with issues, and then that bitterness rise up. And all of a sudden they're with a woman half their age. I've seen women, beautiful women, beautiful. But because of bitterness, they're 40. But look, 60. Bitterness is setting yourself on fire and hoping the people around you die of the smoke. In the book of James, James makes this observation. He says, anger does not work the righteousness of God. This is something I had to get as a younger man. And even as an older man, I still find myself sometimes when I watch these movies, rooting for the revenge. How many of y' all do the same thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I felt if I. My anger meant God ought to do something because I'm angry. But my anger doesn't work the right. It don't make God do nothing. God is God. God is the judge. If I stay angry, I'm the foolish one. Because only God could be angry and just completely all at the same time. He's loving, merciful, kind, and also he could be just. Well, he is just all at the same time. But when humans, that's the whole thing. I'm not built to handle the type of anger that people might try or life might try to put on me. And God's like, you're right. I didn't build you for that. So let me be God. You be man. This is how the Bible says it. It says, vengeance, Derek is mine. I will repay. Vengeance is God's prerogative. I put myself in the place of God. When I try to exact vengeance, he says, I am God. Vengeance is mine. I'm not gonna steal from God. And sometimes we try to get even. We don't realize that we're stealing the prerogative of God. We're acting like little gods. And God said, no, vengeance belongs to me. Boy, as smart as you think you are, you won't get it right, I'll do it. And when I'm through, I won't go to jail. Matter of fact, I'll get it so right, they might even come to me. That's right. Jesus took Paul, the man that was persecuting, killing, killing and beating Christians. And he said, paul, it's hard to kick against the goads, ain't it? And then by the time Jesus was through, Paul's on his knees talking about Lord, most of us were to pray, God, kill him. He's killing Christians. We're justified and asking that, kill him. That's why I leave that to God. Because only God knew what he placed inside that man. And that man or woman you hate, God may not be through with yet. There may be something divine placed in him that only that person can do. And you gotta give it to God. Give it to God. Give it to God. Give it to God. Give it to God. Come on. I'm done. Jesus. The Garden of Gethsemane. He said, father, can this cup pass for me? Pray three times. He's never been separated from Father. All eternity. There was always one. So what was going to happen on the cross physically was going to be awful. But the worst part for Jesus was to be separated from the Father. He took God's wrath. He became sin. And the punishment that was supposed to be ours was laid on him. So he took it spiritually, emotionally, physically, in every possible way. And he said, lord, hey, I ain't never done nothing like that before. See, you know, I've sinned and come back. But he ain't never done that. It was the first. He didn't sin, you know what I mean? But he took it. Father, if it be your will. His cup passed me. God didn't say, yes. So Jesus drank the cup of every bad thing ever done to us, every bad thing you've ever done, he drank the cup to its bitter dregs and he took it for you and me. Jesus died for you, but he also died for that person that hurt you and wounded you. I know, I know, I know. We have to learn to leave. Doesn't mean you don't get mad. And please don't misunderstand. I get mad, people do stuff and I'll just have to pause in my office for a minute. Sometimes I have to pick up the phone. You got some advice? I gotta talk it through. And a lot of times forgiveness begins like a seed. It's just a choice I make. It's not a feeling I have. The feeling comes later, but it's the choice that I'm not going to go there with that person. I'm not going to turn. I'm not going to return evil for evil, but I'm going to return good for evil. Jesus said, blessed are you when you're reviled, used, and people say all manner of evil. He said, blessed are you when you get there. He says, so they treated the prophets of old, meaning, you're in good company. So when people do things to you, you are actually in good company. And now you have an opportunity to prove your faith. A lot of people settle for being church people, but Jesus wants us to be Christians. The Christ I know had holes in his hands, holes in his feet. Yet he said, forgive them, they don't know what they're doing. And then instead of killing everybody, he said it was finished. And then at the end of that, he did not take matters into his own hand. He waited three days for the Father to raise him from the dead and vindicate him. Can you trust God to be your vindication? Can you trust God to handle it in his way? Do you really have faith in your life and in your heart? The end of the Book of Galatians. The Galatian church had been fighting with Paul and criticizing him. And he gets to the end of it. He says, trouble me no more, for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus Christ. He didn't say, I'm an apostle. He didn't say that one day I'll be one of the most celebrated Christians that have ever lived. His authority were the marks of the Lord Jesus Christ, meaning he had holes in his hands, holes in his feet. He took the beating, but kept loving. He took the criticism, but kept speaking the truth. He took the rejection, but he kept reaching out. Many of us have crosses that we wear around our necks. Earrings. We do this even when we pray. But God's not looking for a bumper sticker or a jewelry. He wants to see if you have holes in your hands, holes in your feet. Did you love somebody even when it hurt? You need to understand that Israel at that time is the church. What happened when Amnon and Tamar happened at church? This was the first family. David was a prophet and in church these awful things happened. Absalom rose up in the church against his daddy. And many of us never going back to church because you had some church hurt. But Jesus saying, I don't want you to be just a churchified person. I want you to be a Christ follower. I need you to learn about the holes in the hands and the holes in the feet. I want you to learn about loving, imperfect people. The problem with church is people. Not Jesus, it's the people. Wherever you got people, you got trouble, you got problems, you got issues. And this church is no different. And I'm not speaking of anything I know of. So please. I'm not if y' all arguing with somebody I don't know. Okay? It's just my message today. But you'll know them by their love and true love loves the unlovely.
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Thank you for joining us. Until next time, remember you have what it takes in Christ to live big. We also invite you to partner with Derek Rear Ministries in bringing the life changing and impactful teachings of God's word.
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To to the world.
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