Live Big with Derek Grier
Episode: Parenting God’s Way | Part 5
Release Date: July 21, 2025
Host/Author: Derek Grier Ministries
Introduction to the Passage
In Episode 5 of the Parenting God’s Way series, Dr. Derek Grier delves deeper into the tumultuous relationship between King David and his son Absalom as depicted in the Bible, specifically focusing on the events in 2nd Samuel 15-18. Building upon the previous discussions, Dr. Grier emphasizes the profound impact of parental actions and the far-reaching consequences of sin within a family and a nation.
Absalom's Manipulation and Rebellion
Dr. Grier begins by recounting how Absalom "stole the hearts of the men of Israel" (2 Samuel 15:6). Despite King David’s mercy in welcoming Absalom back, Absalom's bitterness led him to harbor resentment solely towards his father, nurturing his offense instead of seeking reconciliation.
"It is not being stabbed in the back that hurts the most. It's when you turn around and see who's holding the knife that gets you."
— Dr. Derek Grier, [00:06]
Absalom strategically leveraged the disappointments and pains of the people, becoming adept at using these vulnerabilities to fuel his rebellion. By 2 Samuel 15:10, he had sent spies throughout Israel, preparing for his uprising.
The Role of Ahithophel in the Conspiracy
Absalom’s next move was to enlist the help of Ahithophel, David’s esteemed counselor and, notably, Bathsheba’s grandfather. Dr. Grier highlights the personal vendetta Ahithophel held against David, stemming from David’s actions that harmed his family.
"Hurt people, hurt people."
— Dr. Derek Grier, [09:20]
Ahithophel's counsel to Absalom (2 Samuel 15:29) was malicious, suggesting that Absalom should "go into your father's concubines" to incite hatred and demonstrate unwavering rebellion. This act was intended to sever any chance of reconciliation and solidify Absalom’s position as a formidable usurper.
The Consequences of Sin and Betrayal
Dr. Grier underscores the devastating impact of sin, not just on individuals but on entire families and nations. He reflects on David's sin with Bathsheba and how its repercussions led to family strife and national turmoil.
"Sin has greater consequences than we have ever imagined."
— Dr. Derek Grier, [15:45]
Citing 2 Samuel 12:11, Dr. Grier explains that God’s discipline brought rebellion into David’s household, leading to Absalom’s actions and the ensuing civil war.
David's Response and Leadership under Crisis
Faced with the betrayal, David receives news that "the hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom" (2 Samuel 15:28). Urgent and heart-wrenching, David orders his servants to flee Jerusalem to save themselves from Absalom’s advancing forces.
"Sometimes all you can do is cry."
— Dr. Derek Grier, [26:40]
Despite his personal pain, David must act as a leader, demonstrating the delicate balance between his roles as a king and a father.
The Tragic Death of Absalom
The conflict reaches its tragic climax in 2 Samuel 18, where after a fierce battle resulting in the death of 20,000 men, Absalom meets his end. Riding on a mule, his majestic hair becomes his downfall as it gets caught in the branches of a terebinth tree, leaving him hanging between heaven and earth—a powerful metaphor for his fall from grace.
"When you seek revenge, dig two graves."
— Dr. Derek Grier, [27:30]
Absalom’s demise serves as a stark reminder of the perils of pride and the destructive nature of seeking vengeance.
David's Grief and the Father's Heart
In the aftermath, King David is overwhelmed with grief upon hearing of his son’s death. He retreats to a private chamber, weeping bitterly, expressing profound sorrow and regret.
"If only I had died in your place."
— Dr. Derek Grier, [31:20]
Dr. Grier poignantly connects David’s lament to the universal pain of parents losing children, highlighting the deep emotional wounds that sin and rebellion inflict on relationships.
Parallels to Parenting and God's Heart
Drawing parallels between David’s experience and contemporary parenting, Dr. Grier emphasizes that God's discipline is rooted in love and a desire for our ultimate good. He reflects on how God, unlike David, offers the perfect sacrifice through Jesus Christ.
"Even after you fail as a father, fail as a leader, as a person, you can cry out to God and he will hear you."
— Dr. Derek Grier, [22:10]
This section underscores the importance of conditioning our children with love and discipline while trusting in God's sovereign guidance.
Application and Personal Reflection
In the concluding section, Dr. Grier shares personal anecdotes to illustrate the enduring pain of witnessing loved ones struggle and sin. He encourages listeners to look to Jesus as the ultimate example of sacrificial love and to seek solace in God's unwavering compassion.
"My prayer is that when you and I... step from time and space into eternity, that God is not holding his face, saying, 'O Absalom, my image bearer, my son, my son, my son.'"
— Dr. Derek Grier, [33:20]
He urges believers to rely on Christ’s strength rather than their own, ensuring that their lives reflect the redemption and grace offered through Jesus.
Conclusion
In this poignant episode, Dr. Derek Grier masterfully intertwines the biblical narrative of David and Absalom with profound lessons on parenting, leadership, and personal conduct. By examining the depths of sin, the agony of broken relationships, and the unwavering love of God, Dr. Grier provides listeners with both reflection and practical applications to live out their faith authentically.
"You have what it takes in Christ to live big."
— Dr. Derek Grier, [33:55]
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