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Welcome to the live big broadcast with Derek Greer. We believe this teaching from God's word will empower you to live a full, impactful life in Christ. Let's dig in. We're going to be in Mark chapter 9, beginning with the 33rd verse. Scripture says then he came to Capernaum. Capernaum literally means Nahum's village. Some say that Capernaum was named after the prophet Nahum, but we really can't be sure. There is certainly some debate over it, but what we can be sure of is that Capernaum was a fishing and a trading village with a little bit of agriculture going on as well. And it sat on the northern sea or the northern side of the Sea of Galilee. And we also know from scriptures that it was the home of four of Jesus disciples, Peter, Andrew, James and John. And after Jesus was rejected at Nazareth, the Bible reveals that he moved to this area, Capernaum. And by the way, if you think that you grew up in a place that was particularly tough, you need to realize Jesus homies tried to throw him off a cliff. They actually tried to kill him. You know, sometimes moving forward is coming to terms with the fact some people that are part of your history are not part of your destiny. And you know, it hurts sometimes to let go, but sometimes it'll hurt you more to hold on. And a rapper famously said, he said this, if you live for people's acceptance, you will die from their rejection. So what we see here is Jesus was rejected in his hometown, but he didn't fall apart. Said I must not be the Messiah. Maybe I'm not listening to the Father the way I should. Maybe I'm not a nice person. None of those things. He just went on to the next city. And in some situations you have to just dust, you know, get the dust off your feet and you gotta move on to the next place verse. Matter of fact, let's do this just for context sake. Let's go back a little bit to verse, to verse 30. So when we get back to verse 33, you'll understand a little bit better. It said then they departed from there and passed through Galilee. And he did not want anyone to what, know it. So we see here from Christ's example, how many y' all want to be like Jesus. Yep. But we see from Christ's example everything is not everybody's business. Now, if you're anything like me, you've had to learn sometimes the hard way, to put a filter on some of the things you say. Now. I was never really a loud Mouth. But I will tell you, never had to guess what I was thinking. But the years have taught me that before I speak I need to ask four questions. First, is it true? Is it? And that's where a lot of folks stop and that's why you're in trouble. The question is, not only is it true, there's another question, is it necessary? Some things to respond to would just be petty. Actually, one passage in Proverbs says it is to a person's glory to overlook an offense. But the third thing is this meant a lot to me is, is it kind? So it may be true, but is it kind? Ephesians teaches us to speak to people in a way that it edifies the hearer. Not just to get it off your chest, but say it in a way that it blesses the person hearing it. I'm helping somebody in the room. So before we speak, three, is it true? Is it necessary or petty? Is it kind? And lastly, is it time for he taught his disciples and said to them, the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of men and they will kill him. Jesus wasn't like people today who say, well you know, I don't want to say anything negative. It's like, listen, I'm going to be dead, they're going to kill me. He faced the facts and he dealt with reality. Now there is some negativity we need to avoid, but nonetheless, watch what he does. And after he's killed. So in Jesus mind, it didn't stop with the crucifixion. In his mind he was thinking about the resurrection and you might be going through a problem, but you're just going through a problem. You need to see in the problem that you will get to the other side. Yeah. So Jesus said, after he is killed, he's speaking of himself in the third person. He will rise the third day. Now here's what you need to know. Everybody was not ready to hear this from Jesus. So he only taught this to his disciples. Now most of the crowd, their desire of the Messiah was that he would be a gun toting leader. But the people wanted him to carry a gun. But Jesus said, no, I'm going to have to carry a cross. And Jesus understood that everybody couldn't handle that just yet. But learn from his example. You got to learn to limit the people. Sometimes we tell the intimate details of our life too, because sometimes they're not quite ready for it. Proverbs 2:11 tells us, Discretion will preserve you. Meaning it will literally, literally in the Hebrew, it will protect and watch over you. Thinking about what you say and who you say it to can keep you out of a whole lot of mess. Back to verse 32. So Jesus shared it, but they did not understand this saying, you know, sometimes, you know, even friends won't get it until later. But some things you do need to share at the right time, even though it takes a while for, for folks to come around. But watch this. And the disciples were afraid. These are grown men. Please. And there's 12 of them. And there's one Jesus. But the disciples were afraid to ask him. Our generation has lost in many respects, many of the glimpses that we get from the scriptures into Christ's character, his personality, his manner, and his way. The Jesus of the Bible was not somebody to be toyed with. He was not someone to be played with. Matter of fact, Jesus, when you read the Bible carefully, he could be just a little bit scary because none of these grown men wanted to answer or say a word back to Jesus. You see, those who play games with God always lose. Then he came. Now that's where we started, to Capernaum, the village of Nahum. And when he was in the house, what I want you to see here is Jesus intensely waited to address the problem that occurred on the road until they got somewhere more private in their destination. Has your parent ever said to you, wait till we get. As much as we can correct each other in private, defend each other in public, but above all else, please keep your personal business off Facebook. Doing a right thing at the wrong time, in the wrong place can even make right things go very, very wrong. Sometimes being a good spouse, being a good friend, being a good brother or sister is simply mastering the art of timing. The first thing Jesus did to resolve the conflict that his disciples were having was calm his nerves. He didn't immediately react. He waited for the right time. But here's a caution. You have to be careful with this particular step, because you can miss the right time waiting for a perfect time. What I have learned in my journey, typically quicker is better. But when you can do it on the spot, you gotta learn to possess yourself, check your temper and wait for that moment that will be most productive. And when he was in the house, he asked them again, it happened back on the road, he said, what was it that you guys were arguing about, squabbling about? What were you disputing about? And he knew what was going on. But when he got into the house, he didn't immediately take the side of his favorite apostle. He did what every wise person should do? He asked a question. Jesus inquired, and if Jesus, you know, wiser than Solomon, God incarnate, if he was willing to lead with a question and not a statement, how much more when we go into hot situations, should we. Should we lead with questions versus statements and condemnations and all the rest? We should, you know, what. What happened here? How did get here? What's really going on here? This was Jesus approach. How many want to be like Jesus? Proverbs 18 and 13 says this. He who answers a matter before he hears is folly or foolishness and shame. It disgraces your mama, your daddy, and it's a shame. How many of us have a friend, or perhaps you are that friend. You can't tell them about the vacation, the problem, or the promotion that you just had before they interrupt you and start telling about what's going on with them. Now the proverbs is talking about, you know, we need not interrupt. And that's one of my ongoing challenges because I'm so busy. I just don't have a lot of time. And I'm like, can you, can you, can you please? But I'm working on it. But the main point of the proverb is gather the facts before forming an opinion. Avoid coming to conclusions about people's choices without first hearing their reasons. Back to 9 and 33. Are you bleeding just a little bit yet? Yeah. He asked them, what are you guys fighting over? And what I want you to see is even the apostles had squabbles. And if these apostles, who literally walked with Jesus, heard the words that came out of his mouth, watched his miracles, sat under an anointing like we have never imagined, if men like that could still have problems, why are we so surprised when our kids have squabbles? Why are we so surprised when every now and then there's a squabble in our department at the church? You know, if the apostles had issues, why are we surprised that, you know, husband and wife every now and then have squabbles? But the way Jesus handled a squabble was not to condemn them for the problem. He posed the question. He said, what were y' all arguing about among yourselves? Now, among yourselves is important because it tells us something. This was an argument that the 12 had privately on the road. So Jesus addressed it privately. Here's a good general rule. Address private matters privately, only address public matters publicly. And when you. You can read the Gospels, and sometimes when Jesus says certain things, you kind of think that, you know, Jesus was a little bit of a loudmouth. No, he wasn't when you read the Gospels closely, you'll find out Jesus only put people on blast when he had to. You'll also find that often the same level of energy that was used against him, he would throw back at them. With Jesus, you would reap what you sow. But you say, well, why was Jesus so harsh? And the people he was hardest with, by the way, were the religious folk. It was the Pharisees. Pharisees and the Sadducees. He called them whitewashed sepulchers, he called them snakes. He called them all different types of names. And you think, well, well, that's harsh. No, no, no, you don't understand. Jesus is God incarnate. He could have called down Lightning man, he boils and plagues and all the rest could have came on their houses for generations. But in his kindness, all he did was give them truthful descriptions of their behavior. If God would have dealt with them according to his strength, his response would have been eternal. How many of you have a child, particularly you do this with young boys and the rest, I didn't raise girls, so maybe you do it with girls too, I don't know. But with my boys, I would get them on the carpet and we would wrestle. But I didn't use the strength of a 30 plus year old man. It would have destroyed my 7 year old. I limited my strength based on his strength. So often God will come at you the same level you come at him. Remember when Jesus, when God wrestled with Jacob? Do you really think that God had to wrestle with Jacob all night? He was dealing with Jacob according to Jacob's strength. And we need to deal with people in a way that helps the person, not necessarily releases all our power and all our strength. Back to 9 and 33, he asked them again, stop making statements about things you don't really know about yet. He's being our model here. What is it you disputed among yourselves a while ago on the road? Now I don't know if the disciples, you know, went off on the side of the road to have this argument. I don't know if they were following behind him or that maybe they got ahead of him. But they were clearly bickering again. And I know Jesus from the scriptures, he knew what was going on. But I want you to notice his on the spot reaction was not to yelp or to scream. Instead, he stayed calm for the rest of the journey and he waited for the right moment. When they got into a house that was a little more secluded, a little more private. The closer we come to Calm or better. The closer we come to a calm mind, the closer we come to wisdom. But watch verse 34 again. These are grown men. One Jesus. But all 12 of them, 12 of them, you could hear a pin drop. They kept silent because they were embarrassed. How many have ever been embarrassed by an argument you had with your spouse? Six of y' all are honest. How many have ever been embarrassed by an argument you had with your brother, sister, friend? If so, join the rest of the living, breathing world. Because at one point or another, we have all done it. No matter who you are, we all have just a little bit of stupid just a few inches beneath the surface. The Bible says they kept silent because they were feeling a little bit guilty. For on the road, they had disputed amongst themselves who would be the greatest. When conflict emerged amongst the disciples, obviously Jesus remained calm and continued the journey. And he intensely waited till they got to the house again. Wait till you get home. And dealt with the issue. The first thing we must do in conflict number one, stay calm. Slow your heart rate. Breathe. I'm learning as I get older, I naturally have a loud mouth. If you ever heard my father speak, you could be one end of the block. You could hear him on the phone. I mean, you know, I mean, he's. There's that type of voice. So as I've gotten older, I've learned that when I'm angry, bring it down. Am I doing better? Thank you. The second thing we must decide to do or determine whether it's the right place and the right time to address that particular problem. Timing is everything. Third, like Jesus did, speak to all involved, not behind a person's back, but right up in front of their basis that told you you heard a little bit. And fourth, ask questions before making statements. If you can't listen, first, you're part of the problem, not the solution. Inquire, find out the facts. It's not, you talk to me. It's like, well, why did you speak to me that way? Not just, don't you dare. What's going on with you to make you act that way. Sometimes the question is not what's wrong with you, but what happened to you? And if you ask the right question, you'll get further down the road. I don't know if I'm sinking here while I'm talking, but, yeah, I'm doing the best I can. And all 12 men kept silent. Even Loudmouth Peter didn't say a word. For on the road, they disputed among themselves who would be the greatest. Competition is not bad in itself. There's nothing wrong with wanting the commanders to win, though. We didn't, but we did pretty good. But competence is not bad in itself, and I hope we all have a little bit of fight in us. But the real problem is, is what we compete over. You see, the disciples were not competing over, you know, who amongst us could be the most peaceful. They weren't fighting over who could be the most caring. They weren't fighting over who could spread the most joy in a difficult situation. But they were fighting over who is the top dog, who would be the most powerful and get the chief seat. But the problem was Jesus had already taught them in Matthew 5:41, Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with them. 2. Imagine if we stopped fighting over who's the boss, who's getting the credit, and began to compete over who could go the second mile the quickest. I'm preaching better than you saying amen this morning. Then verse 35, it says something telling. It says, and he sat down. In our culture, we stand to preach, to teach. In their culture, the rabbi sat before he taught a lesson, and. And there's something going on here. Jesus was willing to get down on their level. He did not escalate the crisis. And what Jesus did is he saw what educators today call a teachable moment. A teachable moment is that situation or circumstances when a particular topic is. Is most easy to be grasped. It's like you tell your child a million times, then you stop telling them. You gotta wait for that time. That it's like, well, see, listen, the reason that happens. Cause I've been telling you X, Y, and Z. But now since you're seeing that, you know what, you touched the stove, you got burned. Now you understand that you need to listen to the things I'm saying. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not trying to keep you from having fun. I'm just trying to keep you from getting burnt. But that was a teachable moment as you pour ointment on the finger for the burn. So what Jesus did here is he saw this difficult moment. Watch this as an opportunity. Your arguments are actually opportunities. He saw it as an opportunity for continued training and development for his disciples. Every time someone gets on your nerves, say to yourself, it's just a teachable moment. So, yeah, stay with me. We love the proverb, iron sharpens iron. So there's one man's face that you know his friends. But just saying it is one thing. But the way an iron blade is sharpened is back in the ancient world. They put their foot on that wheel and that thing would start going around and they put the blade on it and sparks would start to fly. When sparks start to fly, God is trying to sharpen you. When sparks start to fly, you start praying, lord, show me how. Show me what? In those moments, that's when we learn, learn so many lessons. But there has to be that friction between whatever is sharpening the sword and the sword. So the friction in your life, if used properly, will only sharpen you if you stay on the wheel. Every expert was once a beginner, so be patient. Hosea, Chapter four and verse six, the context. He's really talking about stubborn people, but I'm going to stretch it just a little bit here. He says, my people are destroyed for a lack of what? Knowledge? Sometimes we don't do better because we don't know better. And it's only after someone takes the time and sometimes it's over and over and over and over again to help us know better that we do better. There was a point that I made earlier, you know, I was talking about iron, sharpening iron. And, you know, every now and then, a young girl give me little googly eyes. I know I'm old and everything, but it still happens every now and then. But your conflicts are training. And when we have conflicts, that's an opportunity to train and develop the person in your life. So of course, my wife's done some training with me. But with that said. Little girl look at me with don't look in my eyes and everything. She said snatcher? Is that what she said? I'm like me. I put my wife through 31 years of training. Do you think for one minute that I'm going to start all over with yo young? I may be getting older, but I ain't crazy. 31 years. Every argument a couple gets through rightly is training. You're training each other, teaching each other how to deal with each other. So you got to learn to communicate clearly and precisely and stop all the yelling and screaming and have a conversation. Because, listen, you may know you, but they don't know you. And here's the deal. Before we were married, we put on a good front. We put on a good front every time we saw him. Our teeth were brushed and come on, our clothes were sharp and we even borrowed money if we didn't have money in order to go somewhere with them. But six years in, they see the real you and they surprised. So they need training to deal with the real you. So here's what I Know, people seldomly get it the first few times. If children gave up the first time they fell, they would never learn to walk. Back to Mark 9:35, he sat down and he called the 12 and said, hey, dummies. Is that what he said? Yeah. I might have said that, though. Hey, dummies, I'm not even gone yet. Why are you talking about? Who's the greatest? I'm the greatest. Why y' all even having that type of conversation? But he didn't say that. He said to them, not to other people about them. He said to them, now, listen, sometimes it's wise to get advice from a person. A wise person don't go to a fool. A wise person. If you need to talk to someone about something difficult, maybe they know them better. Maybe they have more experience. Maybe they're just older and wiser. You know, it's okay to get a little bit of advice on how to approach the subject with that person, but make sure the motivation is not to damage their reputation with as many people as possible. How many of y' all have been in church long enough? People like, well, you need to pray for this person because of da, da, da, da, da. A passive aggressive, churchy way to talk about somebody. So you don't want to start getting advice from people when you're really trying to just get more people on your team. So, Jesus, what you see is what you got. There was no passive aggression here. He leaned into the moment of a teachable moment with a very clear lesson. And clarity has power. A lot of your arguments, I'm gonna look at nobody. I'm gonna look this way. A lot of your arguments in this church behind me is filled with a whole lot of passion, but no clarity. You shaking your neck and mad or banging on it. But no clarity. Baby, tell me what to do. Next time, communicate and do it like grownups. Stay with me. So Jesus, what he does is he's done the four. What are the four things? Put the four things up. Let's repeat them really quick. Stay calm. Just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe. Just keep breathing. Make a decision. Is this the right time and the right place for this? And then when you address it, don't call your girlfriend about your husband. Speak directly to your husband, because that's why your girlfriend ain't married. That slipped. That slipped. There's some good people that aren't married. Please don't misconstrue what I'm saying, please. But also, when possible, every now and then, you can't do this. But 99% of the time, speak directly to all involved, not to everybody else. And lastly, ask questions before you make statements. So if anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all. So Jesus did those four first steps. But after that he didn't start calling everybody names. Watch what he did. He attacked the problem, not the person. When you're having a conflict, if you're not married yet, if you're single, get ready, get ready, get ready. If you're going to get married, make sure you attack the problem, not the person, not you. Always you ain't never attack the problem, not the people. So Jesus identified the problem. The problem was the way the disciples were thinking. The problem was the disciples mentality. The problem was they were thinking like the world thinks. But the world is falling, the world is a mess. So Jesus attacked the error in their thinking by revealing higher thinking. And what he said in effect is a leader's value is not determined by how many people serve him or her, but how many people he or she serves. Pay attention to what I'm saying. Six of you. The best antidote to overcome pride and ambition is loving service. So I couldn't make it to couples coffee this past Friday. So it's leaking into my message. What I want to tell you though is my Bible said, husbands love your wives. But a lot of times when a man starts thinking about love, he's thinking about my generation. Luther a little bit younger, R. Kelly. Isn't he in a bad place? We won't mention him. Who do y' all listen to now? Who y' all scared to say? Okay, whoever y' all listen to. But we have the world's mentality. You know, back in the day, ladies used to read Harlequin romance novels. I don't know if they're still around. They shouldn't be because they give you such a false impression about life and relationships. But with that said, we have this worldly mentality that you know what? I've exercised. I look good, I smell good. And somehow that's supposed to pay the bills, change the diapers and make everyday living alright. Please take a shower, please dress up. But the scripture says this. He said, husbands, love your wives. But watch the qualifier as Christ loved the church. But watch this last part. Watch this last part laying down his life for her. Men, when you get married, God is just giving you the prettiest, best smelling cross. You will ever have to bear. To make it work, you're gonna have to lay down some things. You're gonna have to check Your temper. You're gonna have to check your tongue. You're gonna have to check your calendar. You got lots of things you gonna have to lay down to love properly. But, see, you wanted this woman just to be added to your life. But you won't lay nothing down. That's why it ain't working. If you want it to work, something gotta die. And guess what? That something is you. It doesn't start with her. It starts with you. The men are standing. I'm proud of that. I'm proud of that. Yeah, that master. And the man thing is making some difference in here. All right, verse 36. Then on top of what he just said, he took a little child and he sat the child in the midst. Maybe it was Peter's little boy. It might have been in Peter's house, as people say. But this is important. Everyone won't get it the first time you say it. Everyone won't get it the first way you say it. All of us had to raise children, you know, you have to say it, you have to speak it, you have to draw it, you have to sing it, you have to dance it. And maybe then they'll get 25% of what it is you're trying to say. But Jesus first demonstrated it with his own lifestyle. Then he spoke the principle, but that wasn't enough. Then he followed up with an illustration. Whenever you're tempted to lose patience with someone because they're not getting it, think of how patient God has been with you. He says it over and over and over. He told you when you were 18. He told you when you were 30. He told you when you were 35. He keeps telling you over and over. He preaches it. Then he puts it in. And he puts it in movies. And he says it over and over. He says it through nature. He just says it also in your own mind. But he keeps saying it. And if we're followers of Jesus, we must demonstrate the same patience. And when he had taken the baby in his arms. How many know Jesus loves babies? So we must also love people when they act like babies. What's the altar call going to be like today? But Jesus said to them, whoever receives one of these little children in my name, in my name means acting as his representative, doing things the way Jesus would do. My goal up here is not just to speak my mind. My goal is to represent the King. I have a. You know, some people say, well, I'm just being real. You're just being real foolish sometimes. Our goal is to represent the king, to Represent Jesus to do things in his name. If I did things the way Derek wants to do things, I would have quit. I would have done all types of things up to this point. Because my feelings don't always align with heaven's mind or Jesus life. Whoever receives one of these little children in my name, receives who? Me. The proof we've accepted the Lord in our lives is following his example. Jesus example in how we relate to others. And then he said, and whoever receives me receives not me, but he who sent me. What he was saying to the disciples is, stop seeking power by getting to the top of the pyramid. Seek God through serving others at the bottom. My pastor said to me before he passed, he said, you know, Derek, don't get this confused. People don't love you. Now, I know some of y' all love me, and I love you too. But he's making a good point. They don't love you. They love your gift. Don't get it confused. And my job is to serve my gift. My job is not to make you fall in love with me. If I get too caught up in me, I'm not going to serve my gift, but my job is to serve my gift. And the greatest reward I get in heaven is when I serve my gift. And people are unkind to me, when people are unlovely and unpleasant. But I keep. Here's the word. Here's what God says to you. And I keep. I don't quit. I don't give in. I keep with my tray in hand, trying to serve that word in a way not expresses how I feel, but blesses them. And what you want to do is live a life where you are constantly serving your gift, whatever your cluster of gifts looks like. Your gift as a mother, your gift as a brother, your gift as a sister, your gifts you have on it. Keep serving your gift even though people not treat you nicely. Now, the term servant there literally means slave. Slaves were not treated well. And what he was saying is that we need to become like slaves. Not about our feelings, but serving our particular gifts. We are saved by faith, apart from works. But the Bible says we are appointed to good works, which means that when God saved you, he saved you for you, but also so you could be a blessing to somebody else. If God didn't care about your character once you got saved, he just let you die to take you to heaven. But he keeps us here to develop us so we can reach even more people. Now, I said all that to say, God doesn't need your good works, but your spouse does your girlfriend? Does your boyfriend? Does your co worker? Does your sister? Your brother? Your neighbor does? Again, God does not need your good work. Your neighbor does. And my hope in my preaching today is that you say, you know what, I heard him talking up there and God, I can't do all that. And you're right, you can't. But this is why he wants to live in our hearts and in our lives so he can help us. God doesn't require perfection. He just wants openness and willingness for us to allow him to help us do what we can't do. You cannot live a Christian life apart from the help of the Holy Spirit. It. So all I said today was a little bit difficult. But is there anything too hard for God? Is there anything God can't do? Let's raise the bar. Let's reach to do better. I'm gonna possess my emotions. I'm gonna pay attention to timing. Put those four things up there again. I'm gonna speak to those directly involved. I'm gonna look them in the eye and tell them clearly what it is that I want and need or whatever needs to be said. And then I'm also going to be humble enough to go in there with an open heart and mind asking questions before I'm making statements today. God wants to help all of us in this area. Oh, I don't think I would have preached the message I preached today. Would you give God a thank you Jesus for Him? Thank you for joining us. Until next time. Remember you have what it takes in Christ to live big. We also invite you to partner with Derek Greer Ministries in bringing the life changing and impactful teachings of God's Word to the world. Get started by visiting Derekreer.com by clicking the link in the description.