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Welcome to the live big broadcast with Derek Greer. We believe this teaching from God's Word will empower you to live a full, impactful life in Christ. Let's dig in.
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Open your Bibles to Matthew, chapter 18 and verse 15. Jesus is speaking, and he says, moreover, if your brother. Here's that big word sins. The Greek word that's translated sin here is actually a concept taken from archery, and it means to miss the mark or miss the bull's eye. However, to miss the bullseye or to miss the mark implies that you had to be aiming for something in the first place. And what we see here is, no matter your religion, your culture, all of us were born with a conscience. And at some point, some of us earlier than others, we fall short of what our conscience tells us to do and we miss the target. Today, there are many Christians and just people altogether that avoid churches or any setting where there's any mention of the target. And the reason they avoid settings like that is or like this is because they don't want to face the fact that at times we all fall short. But here's the challenge. If we don't have standards, how can we aim for improvement? If everything goes, nothing must really matter. Romans 3:23 tells us, Watch this for all. That means everybody, for all have sinned, not just the other folks, not just folks that sin differently than you, not just the Catholics, the Hindus, the Muslims. No, missing the bullseye is a universal problem that only Jesus can help us resolve. My Bible says all. That's why we can't act holier than thou all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. So in the second clause of this verse, Paul continues. And actually, if you read it in Greek, you'd understand what he was saying better. But he continues to liken us to arrows launched that never reach the intended target. And what he's saying is all of us at different times and in different ways fall short of representing the character and the power of God. Now, we may at times get closer to the standard or the target at certain times than other people. But here's the deal. Whether you miss the target by 10ft or 100ft, it's still a miss in a long jump, particularly if you're jumping over, you know, some type of chasm, you know, jumping, you know, from building to building or boat to boat, or what happened in a long jump where the halfway is just never enough halfway, you sink. If you are jumping again from building to building, miss by an inch, you're just as dead as if you missed by two feet, you hear what? Hear what I'm saying? So let's dig in just a little bit more. Genesis 1 and 26. Then God said, this is in the Old Testament, before the New Testament revelation, but it says in the first chapter of our Bible, let us. Which is reference to Father, Son, Holy Spirit. He didn't get advice from an outside counsel. He spoke to himself. He said, let us make man in our plural image. So God originally intended that the earth be populated and filled with his image bearers. And then he adds, according to our likeness, which means God intended us to be like him in our ways and in our nature. But how many of us are familiar with the narrative? And we understand that Adam chose a different path. He decided that he'd go against the direction of God and eat from the tree of good. And many of us look back and say, well, what was wrong with Eve? What was wrong with Adam? But here's the deal. All of us at some point have done the same thing, proven ourselves to be true sons of Adam and Eve. You know, the greatest privilege on planet Earth is to be born a human. If you are alive today, you have already won the cosmic lottery. Matter of fact, tell your neighbor, it's good to be alive. Just tell somebody, Tell. No, it's good to be alive. Psalms 8, 4 says this. David was meditating on God's affection for him, his appointment of the chosen people and tabernacle and all those types of things. And he starts thinking about it and he doesn't have good answers. And all he could do is wax rhetorical. He said, what is man, that you are mindful of him and the Son of Man, that you might visit him for you have made him just a little bit lower. The Bible, the Septuagint says the angels, but the Hebrew says Elohim, which speaks of God, for you've made him a little lower than the angels. Watch this. And you have crowned him with glory. Honor. Every human is born crowned. Every baby is born crowned with glory and honor. But the price of privilege is responsibility. Always. And we will all be held accountable for how we use God's image in our lives, what we did with our thought life, the things we said, the things we touched, the things we chose to smell or sniff or whatever we're into. We were made in his image and likeness. So did we use that image just for self aggrandizement? Do we just use that image to compete with others, to make ourselves feel better and to put them down? Do we constantly just use God's image to criticize and to tear up? Or do we choose to use the what's left of the image of God in us to give thanks? Do we use the image of God to build up others up? Do we use the image to heal, to mend and to bind the brokenhearted? How you answer for what you've done with this gift of human nature is an eternal decision. With privilege comes responsibility. And God has so privileged you that you could think a thought, sing a song, feel a feeling that what you do with it has eternal consequences. And after he made the man watch what he says because it's telling about the nature of man and how people will be most comfortable, let them have dominion. The King James version says rulership. And what rulership is, is the power to make consequential choices. One of the reasons we're so stressed out is because we feel like there are things outside our control. We were not designed for circumstances to exist outside of our control. So when things are outside our control on the inside, our bodies go nuts because we weren't created to live like this. So what Jesus does when he comes, he says, well, you know, yeah, there's some, there's some storms you could calm, some situations you could calm and all the rest. But, but the greatest thing that you're gonna have control over is not your circumstance or anything outside of you. It's you. The Bible says the fruit of the Spirit is nine different things. It starts with love, joy and peace, but it ends with self control. The Holy Spirit comes back into your life to give you rulership over your emotions, to give you rulership over your tongue, give you rulership over the choices you make and the things you do. There's a dignity that comes with a person ruling. There are people that have a lot of money but no control. But I'll tell you, a poor person with self control has more dignity and is more winsome than the most out of control billionaire. If I can quote C.S. lewis, he said this. The problem of free will is that it makes evil possible. So when God gave us free will, we had to have a choice. Everything God created was good. And free will gave us the ability to choose less than good. Evil is really not a thing, it's just less than good. And our free will, we can choose, you know, bad, good we can even get up to best. But the problem with free will is it makes evil possible. But the beauty of free will is that it makes love and joy worth having and life worth living. If I tied my wife to My house put a bracelet on her and said, you cannot leave. That would not be a love relationship. In order for us to really love each other, there has to be choice and freedom. So God wanted to create a creature that could choose to love him back. What you do with your choices matters. God does not and has not promised that life would be perfect. All he promises is if you trust him, he'll make it worth it. But the choice is yours. Matthew 18:15 Moreover, if your brother sins against you. So Jesus uses the language of family and calls the individual brother. Why does he do this? Because he knows that we understand that family is both beautiful and, at times, messy. Jesus knew that if we spent enough time with each other, eventually someone's going to miss the bullseye, someone's going to miss the mark. So what Jesus does in the passages we're talking about today, teach us how to handle it when it happens. Here's the thing. We will all I don't care who you are. We will all hurt each other at times. It's just part of what we do as humans. No one. No one. I don't care who you are. I don't care how many books you read. I don't care how deep you are into psychology and all the rest of the no one can control where the bad things happen in a relationship. I want you to think about Jesus and Judas. If being perfect could control every relationship, Judas would have never betrayed him. In fact, in the garden, not only was Adam perfect, the garden was perfect. And then he had a perfect relationship with the Father. But in the midst of that perfection, Adam made a choice. We cannot control whether bad things sometimes happen in relationships. All we can completely control is our response. Jesus said, moreover, if your which makes it personal, brother, you see, it hurts more when it's your brother. Because we expect more from family than from strangers. As I often say, the saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from an enemy, only a friend. You see, we expect our enemies to harm us. It's no surprise when they do evil and dirt, but not a friend. And that's why betrayal is betrayal. And that's why it hurts so bad. Moreover, if your brother sins against you, watch this. Go. Jesus is clear. According to Christ, the one who is wronged is responsible to make the move. Why? Because he doesn't want any of us to live life as helpless victims of the sins of other people. So when someone does us wrong, he gives us homework and something we can do. Peace in relationships is never fruit served to the lazy. You See, people mattered enough to God for Jesus to act, to come to earth and to suffer pain. Likewise, the people in our lives should matter enough for us to act and at least be willing to have an uncomfortable conversation. What the scripture is teaching is God has given each of us the agency needed to have healthy relationships in our lives. Moreover, if your brother sins against you, we have two choices. When people sin against us, we can drop the matter according to Colossians chapter 3 and verse 13 and just kind of bear with your brother and just bear it and just deal with it. And here's the advice. If you can let go of the issue or the offense without retaliation, without bitterness, without gossip, it's a testament to your spiritual maturity. But there are some things in life that we can't just ignore. And these are the types of things that Jesus is talking about in this passage. He says to the one that's been offended, the one that's been sinned against, the one that been harmed, go, don't sit on your hands. Don't sit there acting helpless. Go and tell him his fault between you and him. Watch this alone. Yes, Handle things at the lowest level possible. Do not get everybody involved. Love and respect your sister or brother enough to have a one on one just with them. Like with boats, relationships sink when there are too many passengers. And then he says, if he hears you, there's an if, because our brothers and sisters don't always hear. Sometimes we're so busy trying to say what we have to say, we can't hear with the other person has to say. Somebody said, most people don't really listen. They just wait for their turn to talk. How many are married to someone? Don't you dare lift your hand. Married to someone, like, okay, I'm not trying to start nothing, But here's the magic that happens when we listen. We begin to realize that, you know, the other person might have been right in some ways, and the other person might have to admit you were kind of right in some ways. And by virtue of the conversation, respect tends to grow. And it grows because the party, if they're mature enough, they realize that you love them enough to deal with it head on and not to secretly kind of hold it over their heads and wait for a chance to get even or gossip about it. Tell other folks, but never talk to them. Yeah, we all need help. Yeah, it's gonna wound before it heals. But if he will not hear, notice the circle only gets wider if the offending party refuses to hear. If they will not hear, then take with you one or two, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established. Now, if a person is not in a state of mind where they can hear and they only want to be heard, it's likely that they're not going to hear you clear enough to get the facts right when they try to tell a story. So for safety, it's wise for you sometimes to get another trustworthy person, an objective party, to vouch for what really happened and what was really said. Now, it says here, take with you one or two. The spirit of this statement is not for you to round up that person's haters that you know are going to quickly agree with you, but to take one or two people that both of you mutually respect. Now, people have used this verse to sometimes bring issues before me. But here's the deal. If both parties don't respect me, no matter my title, I can't be of much help. And if people perceive I have a dog in the fight, they're not gonna listen to my advice. So that's true. For this reason, too, is why I stay out of everybody's business. And I've also learned not to counsel a person. I mean, unless it's an absolute situation, unless the other party's present. Because if one party starts thinking you're on the other party side, they can no longer hear you. Let's go to verse 17. And if he refuses to hear them, these are the folks that you mutually respect. Now, a petty matter should never get this far. Proverbs 17:14 says, Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam. If you breach a dam, the whole dam starts coming apart. Towns get destroyed. So here's the advice. So drop the matter before the dispute breaks out. In other words, what it's saying is, some battles are not worth fighting. Some things you need to leave alone, not open up your mouth. Don't say a word, just pass on by and let it handle itself. Proverbs 19:11 tells us, A person's wisdom yields patience. In other words, if you're wise, you don't let every misstep upset you. Those groans are good. They're healthy. Get it out. Pettiness is the occupation of people without a larger purpose. And you want to be too busy and doing too many things to be dealing with silliness and nonsense. And then he says, and it's to one's glory. We were created in the image and likeness of God to give glory to God. We tap into God's glory. When we behave like this offense, it's to one's glory to overlook an offense, not nurse it, not brush it off. But recognize hurt people. Hurt people. And it's not always what's wrong with you. Sometimes it's about what's wrong with them. What the Bible is saying is, don't give small problems big energy. Don't try to take minor cases before the Supreme Court. Back to Matthew 18:17. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. Some matters require escalation. Now, here's the deal. You might assume people listen to me. 80% of y' all might. I'm under no illusions. But if a child is being hurt, if a life is in danger, or a high level biblical non negotiable is at stake, tell it to the church. But if he still refuses to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. All right, before we groan, how did Jesus teach us how to handle the heathen? A tax collector? With love and the goal of bringing about repentance. But this is important. But until that heathen or that tax collector has a change of heart, you got to have the wisdom to push them out of your circle of trust. So I'm gonna talk to this side of the room. The first service took this better. So Jesus had different relationships with all of his disciples. Just like if you're a parent, you're gonna have different relationships with, with your children. You don't have identical relationships. They're different children. And not only that, you raised your child at a different season than you raised the other child, you know, the younger child, you know, the first child. You were just trying to figure it out. The second child, you're at least one year older. That's impossible to get much, you know, younger than that. But, you know, they're visiting you in different spaces. Your maturity levels are different. And you just have different relationships with different children. So Jesus loves everybody, like we're the only one, but he doesn't love us in the exact same ways. So Jesus had 12 disciples, but he had the three. Peter, James, and John. He tell all the other nine disciples, get out the room. I want these boys with me when I do this miracle. Imagine the strife that that could create. But Jesus was. Jesus was a bad boy, but he had the three. And then he had the 12. But then he also had a group called the 70, and then he had the crowd. And I found in my life, it's not so much I have to put people out my life as I have to put them in a Different circle. Y' all got that, didn't you? You got that. I can even feel the live stream as y' all caught that. So in one season, you were part of the three, but in the next season, you might be part of the 12. Doesn't mean that I love you less or none of that. It just means in this season, it's a little bit different between us. But in one season, you might be one of the three or 12, but in another season, you're more like the 70. And what you do is you kind of move people in different places in the circle. Some people you only see for Christmas and Easter, and that's okay. Love on them, enjoy Christmas and Easter. Make the most of Christmas and Easter. But they're not your everyday three, and that's okay. So what I'm talking about, I'm not necessarily talking about cutting everybody off. Talking about just kind of changing the expectations and the level of relationship. But if he refuses to even hear the church, let him be like a heathen and a tax collector. Those folks, you love them, you're for them, you're praying. But if you're constantly around, there's going to be conflict because you're going to have to say something. Because we understand silence is consent. That's why sometimes you can't have your child move back into your house because all it gonna do is present conflict. Other times it's fine. Please, please. I felt that right at the back of my leg, if that's a thing. I don't want to be fighting with everybody all the time. So if you're going to choose to live sideways, that's your choice. It's like, well, I'm going to put you out in the 70 or maybe even in the crowd, because I'm not going to do this. You know what I'm saying? First Corinthians 15:33 says, do not be deceived. Why does he preface what he's about to say with don't be deceived? The problem with deception is it's so deceitful. It's just so tricky. Well, you know what? I've known this person since I was, you know, yay high. Or we go back a long way or they're such a nice person. Do not be deceived. We grew up together. Bad company corrupts good character. What starts happening is you start picking up the bad habits of the people you spend the most time with. I had to learn early. I can't hang out with every pastor. They may be anointed and Appointed. But I can't hang out with every pastor unless I start picking up stuff I done left behind a long time ago. So don't drop your healthy standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs. Matthew 18:18. Now Jesus is in conversation, he's teaching, but then he throws in an assuredly. This is when the conversation gets serious. Literally, in the Hebrew, it's a double amen amin amin. In the King James Version, it's verily, verily. And more modern versions is truly, truly. But Jesus gets real serious. And you know, if his eyes could squint, you know, I mean, they do squint. They did squint, I'm sure. But I mean, he got that look and everyone knew. Oh, he's about to say it. He's saying, listen, do not entertain any doubts about the statement I'm about to make. I say to you now, why does he say verily, Verily. For I say to you, in the Old Testament, they would say, thus saith the Lord, but in the New Testament, he was the Lord, so he couldn't say, thus saith the Lord. He would just say, verily. I say. I say to you, whatever you. Now, who are the you or the you's that he's referring to? The you's? Here are the people who he just spoke to that had learned to manage their relationships well. The people who have learned to manage strife and create healthy harmony. He was speaking to people, not perfect people, but people that were willing to deal with strife when it occurs. And to those people who are willing to be wise in managing conflict and strife, he said to them, whatever you bind or forbid on earth will be bound in heaven. If you're willing to follow in these steps, Heaven got your back. If you're willing to deal with stuff as it arises, when it arises with the spirit of love and trying to listen and hear, heaven got your back. And then it says, not only whatever you forbid, but also whatever you loose, whatever you allow, approve of what you let happen is what you let happen. And God says, well, I guess I gotta let it happen. Be careful what you tolerate because you're teaching people how to treat you. Whatever you loose, allow or approve on earth or will be loosed in heaven, what we allow will continue. God gave you agency. What you allow will continue. And if someone throws a fit because you set a healthy boundary, it's just more evidence that that boundary is needed. I'm going to say it again. Be careful what you tolerate because you're teaching people how to treat you. And then he Said again. Meaning he's been saying this. I say to you, if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. This is why the devil tries so hard to divide us. This is why, you know, friends are bickering, husbands and wives are bickering, church members are bickering. Why? Because the devil is not just after our friendships. He's after our witness. He's not just after the couple, he's after the children. He's not just after a few members that are bickering. He's after the church. And he knows if he could get us in strife and discord, Heaven won't hear. He knows if. If we could get the. The devil. Devil literally means adversary or accuser. He's the accuser of the brethren. There's a lot of folks that come in here. Oh, how do I say this nicely? I don't know. So Satan is the accuser of the brethren. But I meet people who feel called to the ministry, but I'm convinced they're really in the ministry of the accuser because all they do, accusing everybody of everything that's a demonic spirit. Satan is always accusing and never, ever participate in his ministry. Now, confrontation and petty accusations are not the same thing. For where two or three are gathered. Watch this. My name. What Jesus is saying is if I could just get a couple people, a core group of people to gather because of Christ's agenda, not just their own agenda. Second Chronicles, chapter 16 says, the eyes of the Lord go travel through and fro the whole earth to show him strong on behalf of those whose heart is Lord. Meaning God is looking for people. Looking for. He searches the whole earth to find some people without a gripe. To find somebody not trying to find fault, to find somebody that won't let themself be a victim. His eyes are looking to and fro. They're trying to find some people in whom he could show Himself strong. Meaning that those of us that can learn to agree, those are the people that God can show Himself strong in. When I was in kindergarten and I don't have my report cards, I don't remember, but I kind of remember. It's just a hazy memory. But in my hazy memory, one of the items listed the teacher graded you on was getting along with others. And I think I remember it because I didn't get a good grade. But part of God's assessment in our development is, can we get along with others? God has been waiting for us to come out of Our strife, come out of our unforgiveness, come out of our lone wolf syndrome so he can show himself strong. Now, the Bible says that, you know, if folks gather in his name, we'll get the things we're praying for. So maybe the reason why prayers aren't being answered in our community the way they need, because the church keeps finding excuses and reasons to be mad with one another. Sometimes before we have the prayer meeting, we should have the forgiveness meeting to get over yourself meeting and let it go meeting so we could come together and pray more effectively. Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them. How many believe Jesus is the answer. And if you can bring Jesus into any situation, the answer is present. And he's saying is if we could get in agreement, Christ is saying, I will show up. So here's the million dollar question as we wrap up today. Are you willing to be one of the two or three that causes Jesus to show up? God's like, I don't even need a thousand. I don't need just two or three. Even if craziness breaks out in this place, if just two or three of us would stay on our face before God, God will work it out with the rest of us. He doesn't need a whole lot. But here's the deal. God wants to not only impact this church, he wants to impact your family circle, he wants to impact your friend circle. And if we could just get two or three of us, that we'll get in agreement, that we gonna handle each other properly. And we're not gonna go behind each other's back. We're gonna have conversations and we're gonna try to talk things through and we're gonna try, you know, unity matter, you matter and us being in relationship matters. So we'll have the hard conversations and do what's necessary. But if you want to be one of the two or three that cause Christ to show up in our midst, the first step is letting Christ back into your life and your heart. The only way you can really come, well, get, get this type of answers and prayers if you first come to him. So my humble appeal today, everyone in this room, I know someone's hurt you. I know someone's wronged you, I know someone's offended you, you have some choices. If you can't let it go, you got to have a conversation. If you can't let it go, you are growing. I salute you for that. I'm not telling you to make a petty phone call after this message, I remember back in sixth grade, you didn't share your bubble gum and it hurt me. I'm talking about serious stuff. Go to them and not go to them to confront you. I need to tell you about yourself. That's not going to help. One of the best ways to confront somebody is tell them how it made you feel. Not. You did that because you, that's no me. I can talk about me. I didn't understand why you did that and it hurt me. Distance between us because of that thing. Can you tell me what was going on and what you were thinking? Make sure you do this in the right spirit. God is calling all of us back to ourselves so that healing in our families and our relationships can begin with us. If you're a single mother, you know, God designed it for a husband and wife to be united. So there's two people in the house that get in agreement about them crazy children. Let me tell you something though. God, none of our situations surprise him. And if you don't, if you don't have to necessarily have a spouse, if you have a sister or brother, say, my child, let me tell you. And then y' all get an agreement and y' all decide, you know what? I don't care what happened to that child, but it's not happening with this child. In the name of the. In the name of Jesus, I'm in agreement with you. I'm in agreement. It might be an uncle, it could be your mom and dad, but. But the reason Satan fights our unity, because when we get an agreement, there's power. And Jesus shows up in the midst. He doesn't want Jesus to show up. He wants to have right doctrine, but mean as a rattlesnake. He wants us to have, you know, a worship experience, but not fellowship because he knows there's power if we can just get along and agree, deal with stuff when it comes up. And don't try to kill a fly with a sledgehammer. You know, little thing you can kind of deal with, you know, the way you deal with little things don't make everything big.
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Thank you for joining us. Until next time, remember, you have what it takes in Christ to live big. We also invite you to partner with Derek Rear Ministries in bringing the life changing and impactful teachings of God's Word to the world. Get started by visiting Derek rear.com by clicking the link in the description.