Damp January: How ‘Bout We Call It a Night? (with Nora McInerney) - Live Wire with Luke Burbank

Release Date: January 29, 2025
Host: Luke Burbank
Guest: Nora McInerney
Produced by: PRX

Introduction to Damp January

In the fifth and final installment of the Damp January series on Live Wire with Luke Burbank, host Luke Burbank delves deep into the intricate relationship individuals have with alcohol. This special episode aims to provide a conclusive and insightful exploration of alcohol consumption, particularly focusing on finding a balanced approach between total sobriety and excessive drinking.

Luke Burbank’s Concerns and Objectives

Luke opens the conversation by expressing his apprehensions about concluding the series. He seeks a "definitive, inspiring, wise ending" that elucidates the optimal stance on alcohol consumption. He candidly shares his viewpoint:

“If we are talking about physical health, it's not even close. None of us should be drinking any alcohol, probably.”
[02:25] – Luke Burbank

Despite this stance, Luke acknowledges the pervasive role of alcohol in social settings and his personal struggles with maintaining a healthy relationship with it. He questions whether a middle path exists—something neither fully abstinent nor entirely indulgent.

Introducing Nora McInerney: A Personal Journey with Alcohol and Grief

Nora McInerney, a writer and podcaster, becomes the focal point of this episode. She shares her profound experiences with grief following the tragic loss of her husband, Aaron, to a brain tumor. Nora's approach to coping with loss diverged from turning to excessive alcohol consumption, unlike some societal norms and personal anecdotes Luke references, such as his grandfather’s struggles.

Nora discusses her early encounters with alcohol:

“The first time I drank... I was blacked out on a table dancing... I bust my face open... woke up... my mom standing over me going, what were you drinking? Beer.”
[07:58] – Nora McInerney

Her initial experiences reveal a tumultuous relationship with alcohol, marked by experimentation and unintended consequences. However, Nora gradually steered towards more controlled consumption, especially during challenging times.

Navigating Grief Without Escaping into Alcohol

Nora elaborates on how grief often intertwines with alcohol consumption, noting its societal acceptability as a means to numb pain:

“I started drinking after Aaron died... it was easier for me to put my child to bed, go to the basement, turn on Real Housewives of New York, and drink...”
[21:24] – Nora McInerney

Despite these challenges, Nora emphasizes her conscious efforts to manage her drinking. She recounts pivotal moments, such as experiencing a severe acid reflux episode after consuming champagne, which acted as a wake-up call:

“I haven't had a drink since June 30th... I don't really think about it.”
[15:46] – Nora McInerney

This realization prompted Nora to reassess her relationship with alcohol, leading her to label herself as a "non-drinker" rather than striving for complete sobriety.

Strategies for a Healthier Relationship with Alcohol

The dialogue between Luke and Nora transitions into practical strategies for moderating alcohol consumption. Nora introduces the concept of a "dopamine menu," inspired by Cheryl Strayed’s approach:

“Make a list of all the things that you like to do. Then, you break it into appetizers, main courses, side dishes, and desserts.”
[36:23] – Nora McInerney

This metaphorical menu helps individuals identify alternative sources of pleasure and fulfillment, reducing reliance on alcohol for dopamine-driven satisfaction.

Additionally, Nora discusses the importance of self-awareness and setting boundaries:

“I don't really think about it... I just say, like, I don't really drink.”
[29:26] – Nora McInerney

By framing occasional drinking as a treat rather than a necessity, individuals can maintain control over their consumption without feeling deprived.

Reflection and Conclusion: A Message of Hope

As the episode draws to a close, Luke reflects on the shared stories and the overarching theme of resilience:

“In this brief month that we were doing this show, I have heard some of the most incredible stories from you, the Damp January listeners... you were in places where you just had lost all hope and you figured out how to pull yourself out.”
[39:35] – Luke Burbank

He expresses gratitude towards Nora for her openness and wisdom, underscoring the episode's central message: finding balance and harnessing inner strength to navigate personal struggles with alcohol.

Nora echoes this sentiment, highlighting the significance of self-acceptance and realistic goal-setting in managing alcohol consumption:

“What does this all come down to? Vanity... I don't need any more depressant and I don't need any more anxiety.”
[34:26] – Nora McInerney

The episode concludes with a collective sense of hope and encouragement, urging listeners to seek sustainable paths towards healthier relationships with alcohol.

Key Takeaways

• Balanced Approach: Striving for moderation rather than complete abstinence to maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol.
• Self-Awareness: Understanding personal triggers and patterns in alcohol consumption.
• Alternative Dopamine Sources: Identifying fulfilling activities that provide similar satisfaction without relying on alcohol.
• Support Systems: Leveraging friendships, therapy, and community resources to navigate challenges.
• Acceptance and Realism: Embracing one's journey and setting achievable goals for alcohol management.

Notable Quotes

• Luke Burbank:
  “None of us should be drinking any alcohol, probably.”
  [02:25]

• Nora McInerney:
  “I don't really think about it... I just say, like, I don't really drink.”
  [29:26]

• Nora McInerney:
  “Alcohol specifically is just like throwing lighter fluid on my anxiety and my depression.”
  [34:26]

Final Thoughts: Damp January: How ‘Bout We Call It a Night? serves as a poignant exploration of personal and societal relationships with alcohol. Through candid conversations and heartfelt narratives, Luke Burbank and Nora McInerney offer valuable insights into navigating the complexities of drinking, grief, and self-improvement. This episode not only wraps up the Damp January series but also leaves listeners with actionable strategies and a hopeful outlook towards healthier living.