Podcast Episode Summary: Living Influence with Bill Thrall and Scott Boyd Episode Title: Discovering the Lies Hidden in Our Stories
Release Date: October 30, 2025
Hosts: Bill Thrall & Scott Boyd

Episode Overview

In this intimate episode, Bill Thrall and Scott Boyd explore how the lies embedded in our personal stories shape our identities, relationships, and influence. They address how discovering and resolving these lies is vital to embracing who God says we are. Through candid personal stories, scriptural reflection, and practical wisdom, the hosts encourage listeners to pursue truth and grace, both for themselves and in their interactions with others.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Critical Role of Permission in Storytelling

• Bill emphasizes the importance of receiving permission before engaging deeply with another’s story. Listening is an earned privilege, not a right.

  • “You have no access to their story without their permission. The key is to listen for permission.” (00:47)
  • Asking questions gently opens doors and signals respect, rather than assuming insight or access.

• Scott clarifies that even when people share their stories, it doesn’t automatically grant you authority to interpret or “fix” them.

  • “Don’t assume access…” (01:23)

Notable Quote

“Whatever I want to tell you is never as important as what you need to hear. And I'll never, ever, without permission, hear what you need.”
– Bill Thrall (01:27)

2. Identifying Lies Within Our Stories

• Questions are powerful tools to help people reflect and discover the lies hidden in their stories.

  • “The key is they begin to discover the lie in the story they told me.” (03:14)

• Bill contrasts permission and advice-giving:

  • “You can shut people down really quick when you don't have permission.” (05:00)

Notable Quote

“How many of you like somebody to fix you?... None of us like to be fixed.”
– Bill Thrall (05:09)

3. Personal Reflections: Shame, Hiding, and Learning to Ask for Help

• Scott shares a formative experience about shame and the belief that admitting ignorance is a weakness. Learning to ask for help unlocked growth for him:
  • “I could ask somebody… It began to unlock in me… I could let someone teach me.” (06:38)
  • This realization changed his posture toward people and helped him be more open and receptive.

Notable Quote

“That moment you decide to become a learner… The reason you pursued knowledge was not to be puffed up…but to honor the way God designed you.”
– Bill Thrall (07:37)

4. The Dangers of a False Reality

• Bill recounts his upbringing in poverty and how his family created exaggerated stories as coping mechanisms, which led him into a “false reality.”
  • “It was a false reality. And then 25 years ago, I’m fishing with that same brother, Art… I said to him…what did you do during the war? He said, ‘I was in supplies’… The tragedy of the exaggerated story, was it created in me a false reality.” (11:41–12:14)
  • The habit of embellishing stories eroded Bill’s ability to discern truth, haunting him into adulthood.

Notable Quote

“When you have a false reality, you're not only not sure who you are, you're not sure what is truth. That was a haunt in me, a real haunt in me.”
– Bill Thrall (12:14)

5. The Transformational Power of Truth and Trust in God

• Bill’s journey to Christian faith gave him a new, truthful foundation:
  • “By God's grace, when I became a Christian…I, for the first time, literally got in touch with the profound power of truth.” (13:12)
  • “A reality grounded in truth and grace. It has profoundly affected my life.” (13:54)

Notable Quote

“I learned to trust a new reality…A reality grounded in truth and grace.”
– Bill Thrall (13:54)

6. Shame, Approval, and Fatherhood Wounds

• Scott shares how losing his father shaped his self-worth and tendency to seek approval through performance. He references Donald Miller’s “To Own a Dragon” to explain how absence of affirmation from a father leads to mistrust of authority and a compulsion to earn approval through doing.
  • “I would only be liked based on what I did… I had a tremendous insecurity and shyness in me.” (15:15)
  • Observing his late wife’s natural confidence challenged these beliefs and helped him see alternative ways of engaging with people.

Notable Quote

“If you never had a good dad, then you end up growing up in life mistrusting all authority. Because dads represent authority.”
– Scott Boyd (16:28)

7. Trust and Influence

• The practice of telling and hearing each other’s stories—beginning with permission—can break the power of lies and promote genuine connection, healing, and influence.
  • “[Trust] is the single greatest operative word in all relationships.” (19:27)

Memorable Moments & Quotes with Timestamps

• Permission Principle:
  “You have no access to their story without their permission. The key is to listen for permission.” (00:47 – Bill Thrall)
• On “Fixing” People:
  “None of us like to be fixed.” (05:17 – Bill Thrall)
• Breakthrough on Asking for Help:
  “I could ask somebody…It began to unlock in me…” (06:38 – Scott Boyd)
• False Reality & Truth:
  “When you have a false reality, you’re not only not sure who you are, you’re not sure what is truth.” (12:14 – Bill Thrall)
• Grounded in Grace:
  “A reality grounded in truth and grace. It has profoundly affected my life.” (13:54 – Bill Thrall)
• Fatherhood Wounds:
  “If you never had a good dad, then you end up growing up in life mistrusting all authority.” (16:28 – Scott Boyd)
• On Trust:
  “Trust is the single greatest operative word in all relationships.” (19:27 – Bill Thrall)
• Encouragement to Share Stories:
  “Are you able, with one other person, to tell your story? And…are you willing to hear theirs?” (20:16 – Bill Thrall)

Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:47 – 03:14: The principle of permission in storytelling
• 05:00 – 06:38: Shame, help-seeking, and the problem with being “fixed”
• 11:08 – 13:54: Bill’s story of family lies, discovering truth, and its impact
• 15:09 – 18:00: Scott’s story on earning approval, shyness, and fatherhood loss
• 19:27 – 20:40: The power of trust, sharing stories, and practical application

Conclusion

Bill Thrall and Scott Boyd underscore that discovering the lies that shape our lives—and inviting God’s truth in—is a lifelong but freeing journey. Key to this process is the willingness to be vulnerable, to listen with permission, and to build trust. Their stories and reflections offer hope that anyone can step into a new, grace-filled reality by exchanging lies for the truth of who God says they are and by fostering that same influence in others.

For listeners:
Reflect on your own story—what lies might you be carrying, and what truth is waiting to set you free? Who could you share your story with, or listen to, this week?