Trusting God With Your Future

Summary

Podcast Summary: Living Influence with Bill Thrall and Scott Boyd
Episode: Trusting God With Your Future
Date: January 29, 2026

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Overview

In this episode of Living Influence, co-hosts Bill Thrall and Scott Boyd dive into the concept of "trusting God with your future," the culmination of a three-phase process of spiritual maturity. They discuss how moving from a self-centered ("me centered") faith, to an other-centered, and ultimately a Christ-centered approach impacts personal relationships, self-identity, and the way believers engage with life’s challenges—especially when it comes to trusting God with what lies ahead. Drawing from their personal lives, marriages, and leadership experiences, Bill and Scott explore what it means to believe who God says you are, how it transforms relationships, and why freedom and trust are foundational to living as Christ intends.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Three Phases of Spiritual Maturity

• Step 1: Me-Centered Phase
  Initial trust in Christ for personal salvation; growth begins but is focused on individual needs.
• Step 2: Other-Centered Phase
  Learning to trust Christ with your present self and allowing others to influence and love you.
• Step 3: Christ-Centered Phase
  The mature stage: trusting Christ with your future, stepping out in faith despite uncertainties (00:55).

“The final step in this process of maturing is the Christ centered phase, where I begin to trust Christ for my future, which may be one of the scariest steps of all.” – Scott Boyd [01:16]

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Trust and Influence in Marriage and Relationships

• Trusting Others to Love Us on Their Terms
  Bill shares a personal story about his wife Grace’s loving influence, guiding him towards healthier habits (02:09–02:57).
• Letting Yourself be Crafted by Others
  Allowing your spouse to influence you, not as a form of control, but as an act of love and mutual submission (03:05–03:37).
• Permission and Respect in Addressing Needs
  The importance of seeking permission before addressing issues, and being willing to accept "no" without manipulation (04:00–04:52).

“When I ask permission, I have to learn to receive a no. And I must never manipulate her into a yes. Because at that point she will lose trust in me.” – Bill Thrall [04:31]

• Seeing Each Other’s Needs Through Love
  Instead of trying to fix your partner, focus on loving them and meeting their needs as a team—transforming relationships from “me” to “we” (05:02–06:35).
• Trust as a Prerequisite to Receiving Truth
  In marriage, without mutual trust, attempts at honest feedback sound like criticism, rather than loving help (06:33–06:43).

“If couples haven’t learned to trust each other, they can’t hear each other's truth. It'll come across as critique, criticism and disappointment.” – Bill Thrall [06:33]

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Leadership, Strengths, and Wounding in Community

• Managing Strengths that Hurt Others
  In a work context, a team member’s strength can sometimes wound others unintentionally. The solution isn’t to diminish the strength, but to protect and help others interpret it (07:07–07:47).
• Risk and Patience in Love
  Modeling Jesus’s risk-taking love in relationships—being patient with a partner’s growth and willing to give space and time for change (08:25–09:19).

“Love is willing to take risks for the benefit of the other person. Patience can often be very risky.” – Bill Thrall [08:25]

• Commitment to Process Life Together
  Growth in marriage comes from processing issues as a couple, not individually. True commitment means tackling life’s challenges as a team, shifting from “your” issue or “my” issue to “our” issues (09:33–12:27).

“Whatever issue you have, we have. Whatever issue I have, we have. It changes our whole perspective.” – Bill Thrall [11:56]

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Living in Freedom: Identity and Trust

• Foundation of Freedom: Identity in Christ
  True freedom is rooted in believing what God says about your identity (12:50–13:10).
  • Seeing oneself as a saint with a new heart, not as a “sinner,” allows the Christian to read scripture through the lens of possibility, not obligation (12:50–14:30).
  • The danger in thinking of yourself only as a sinner is bondage to external rules and perpetual inadequacy.

“If my theology still sees me as a sinner, not a Saint...I will read the New Testament through the eyes of what I ought to do to become godly, and that is bondage. There is no freedom when I read the Scriptures from what I ought to do.” – Bill Thrall [13:02]

• Trusting in Your New Heart
  Bill reflects deeply on the struggle to trust oneself, explaining how life changes when you finally believe what God says about your new identity (15:56–17:13).

“The words will never affect me until I believe them to be true about me...many Christians never, ever pursue [freedom], because...they still see themselves as a sinner, B, they still see themselves with a heart that shouldn't be trusted...they live the best life they can in the bondage of not being enough. That's called misery.” – Bill Thrall [15:55–17:10]

• The Church and Freedom
  Many de-churched believers leave because they hoped for a place to be known but found only criticism (17:13–17:43).
• Purpose Flows from Trust
  Believers often try to serve God without first trusting Him, leading to burnout and disappointment—especially visible in missions (18:28–20:31).

“Almost 80% of all new missionaries do not last 15 months on the mission field… My experience says all of these young, enthusiastic people devoting their life to God have never been taught to trust the God they're devoted to. And then reality sets in, and the endings are often critically negative.” – Bill Thrall [19:10–20:30]

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Concluding Thoughts

• Returning to Core Questions of Identity
  The episode closes by reinforcing the importance of internalizing what God says about you:

“Who does God say I am? Am I a saint? Do I have a new heart? Does he delight in me?” – Scott Boyd & Bill Thrall [20:41–20:43]

• The Ultimate Point of Faith It’s not about what you do for God, but what God is doing in and through you (21:26).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You let your spouse influence you...on their terms. So they brings because they love you.” – Scott Boyd [03:34]
• “It's about helping people interpret them and understanding. Okay, here's what they're doing. And this is why you want this on your team, because it's really powerful. When you change it into loving that person for who they are, it changes everything.” – Scott Boyd [07:20–07:47]
• “In a marriage relationship, this is going to sound weird, but … I think they go together to get help.” – Bill Thrall [09:19]
• “And the same is true then. This whole idea of freedom is a word that many, many Christians never, ever pursue … they live the best life they can in the bondage of not being enough. That's called misery.” – Bill Thrall [16:30–17:10]

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Important Timestamps

• 00:55 — Introduction to the three steps of the maturing process
• 02:09 — Bill’s story: Grace’s loving influence
• 03:34 — Allowing your spouse to influence you
• 04:31 — The power of permission and accepting “no”
• 05:02 — Meeting needs with love vs. trying to “fix” someone
• 07:07 — Strengths and wounds in workplace dynamics
• 08:25 — Love, risk, and patience in relationships
• 09:33–12:27 — Processing issues as a couple: “our” not “my/your”
• 12:50 — Living in freedom: Identity as a saint, not a sinner
• 15:56 — Bill’s personal struggle with trusting his heart
• 19:10 — The problem of young missionaries and misplaced trust
• 20:41 — Does God delight in me? Core questions of identity
• 21:26 — The point is what God does in and through you

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Episode Tone and Style

The conversation is warm, authentic, and deeply personal, with both hosts sharing their vulnerabilities, failures, and hard-won insights into trust, love, and spiritual maturation. Their tone is encouraging and relational, aiming to inspire listeners to pursue a deeper, more Christ-centered understanding of identity and purpose.

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For anyone seeking a life of genuine influence—within their marriage, family, or vocation—this episode emphasizes transformation rooted in trusting God fully with your identity, your relationships, and your future.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, guys, I just want to tell you about something else that Bill Voldemort and I are working on. It's called Living Influence Leadership. It's for business leaders who also happen to be Christians. We think we've got some great stuff that can be amazing in your company, as it wasn't mine. Check us [e-mail] welcome to Living Influence. If you've been watching, we've been covering a topic called the process of maturing. We've kind of broken it into three steps. It's obviously infinite steps in the process, but the three steps would be I trust Christ, I trust Jesus for my sin when I get saved. And that is the beginning of maturing. And we call that the me centered phase. We move from the me centered phase to the other centered phase, where I begin to trust Christ for my person, where I trust God with me. And then the final step in this process of maturing is the Christ centered phase, where I begin to trust Christ for my future, which may be one of the scariest steps of all. I know for me, I is like, oh my gosh, if I trust God with my future, what will he make me do? Which is connected to not knowing Jesus. So, Bill, one of the places I wanted to go. Pause and touch on a little bit more. Bill and I go on walks in the morning when we're doing the podcasts. And it's Bill made a comment about in trusting others, we trust others to love us on their terms. I've been picking at this topic because I haven't really understood it as well as I wanted to. And I think this morning I got some new insights. Oh, good. Sure, sure. And so Bill is talking about trusting Grace and her love for him. Someone says you're trusting her love to give you guidance. Amen. Trusting her love to care for you. And so to meet my needs. To meet your needs. And so you were talking about staying up at late at night.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And so just share that piece and then I'll talk about why I think that was meaningful to me.

[B]

They're little things, but they're really important. I would stay up late at night because I could, hey, oh, man. And it would bother Grace. And finally she just said to me, you know, Bill, you get up. It's so hard to get you up in the morning. You just, why don't you try going to bed earlier? Simple as that. But you see, she saw a need in me. I was pursuing a want. I want to stay up late because I'm a man now, and I can do that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But she saw a need.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she saw my want was robbing me of rest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was making my mornings horrible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I started so simple, Scott. I actually started going to bed earlier, and I had never felt better in my life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was such a simple illustration of love, meeting needs.

[A]

Yeah. And I think it talks so much to the significance of. Of in a marriage. I would always talk about it this way, that you craft one another. You. You have an effect. I mean, we're talking about influence, right? Absolutely. And so you influence one another. You actually. And. And we've used the word lat, which is also the word submit, Right?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Is it? So you let your spouse influence you.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

On their terms.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

So they brings because they love you. Yeah. Now let me just. I haven't. I haven't warned you about this, but this will be fun. So.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So does this now give me permission to tell my wife all the things she needs to do?

[B]

No.

[A]

Tell me how.

[B]

Well, because you may not be right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So. So the best thing to do, in my opinion, is to share what you consider something that concerns you about whatever she is or does.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you do that with permission. Honey, could I talk to you about the fact that you always overcook my spaghetti, Whatever the issue is. But. But you see, what you did is you. You op. Gave an opportunity through permission for her to say no.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now that's critical statement. The reason that's critical, Scott, is because I have to learn that when I ask permission, I have to learn to receive a no. And I must never manipulate her into a yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because at that point she will lose trust in me. So it's a simple little process, but it has profound effects.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it isn't like we get into a relationship relationship, and it's not like we never see anything in the other person we wish was different. That's not reality. But because we see, it doesn't mean we're right. So I say to me and to others, wait a minute. Can you take what you're seeing as something that is just not annoying you, but something that you could describe as a need that they have that you're willing to meet with love. See what I just did? I transferred the responsibility from them changing to you loving them in the need you see for them. And that process will change them because that's what love does. I do a cohort for leaders, and the fourth session is always on the marriage relationship, because my Last four cohorts have all been with couples. And in that last thing, it's just simple. I title it from Me to We. Yeah, from me to we. And so in this process of meeting needs, it's incredible, Scott, that you and I trust each other so that we can hear each other speak truth to us. If I don't trust you, and I could say this, in a marriage, if couples haven't learned to trust each other, they can't hear each other's truth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It'll come across as critique, criticism and disappointment.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Isn't that amazing?

[A]

Yeah, it is. It's interesting. And then when you change it. Okay, here's something I see and I. Okay. This is an opportunity for me to love a person and meet a need. It reminds me of a principle I talk about at work where I'll have people that are really, really strong in a certain area.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And that strength is really powerful for our company. And that strength wounds people every once in a while.

[B]

Yes, it does.

[A]

On the backside of it.

[B]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[A]

And so it's not about fixing that person, because if you fix that person, you take their strength away. It's about protecting them.

[B]

You got that right.

[A]

It's about helping people interpret them and understanding. Okay, here's what they're doing. And this is why you want this on your team, because it's really powerful. When you change it into loving that person for who they are, it changes everything. Yeah.

[B]

I think that as we think about this Christ centered life, this, it's like his words to us are these. I want you to love each other just like I loved you. That's our guide. Our guide. How do I love? Oh, wow, I'm maturing. I love like him. And here's an important insight. His love drove him to great risk for my benefit.

[A]

Yeah. To losing his life.

[B]

Losing his life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, in a marriage relationship or in a friendship relationship, love is willing to take risks for the benefit of the other person. Patience can often be very risky. Gosh, I wish she would change tomorrow. Well, what if she doesn't for five years? Are you going to discount her for five years? Are you going to give her no space to grow? Are you going to give her no space to mature? Is your demand today needing to be a result tomorrow? Or are you willing to say, in love with patience, I love you and I'm willing to risk the time it's going to take for us to be able to process what we know needs to change? Hear those words, what we know needs to change.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In a marriage relationship, this is going to sound weird, but in a marriage relationship, I don't think one person in the marriage should so get helped. I think they go together to get help.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think when one person in a relationship is getting help, whatever that means, the other person is not part of the process and this person, so to speak, gets fixed, whatever that means. But this person's never been part of the process. So here's the deal. Could we understand that one of the needs we all have in each other's love is a commitment. Love that says, today I am making a decision that we will process life together from now on. That's my commitment to you. It changes everything, Scott. It has a profound effect on the maturing or the lack of maturing in a relationship.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because I know I want to be super negative, but I've been in enough rooms with enough couples that the person who's quote, getting fixed uses the fact they're fixed on the other person not being fixed. Just telling you it happens all the time. And so as we look at this, my gosh. Trusting God with my future. Let me ask me this. Am I able to see in my relationship with Grace, after 64 years, are we still together in processing our issues? Not my issue, not her issue, but our issues?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because we still affect each other.

[A]

I went to the Henry Cloud and John Townsend Ultimate Leadership Conference right by myself. And it literally was, it took years to get my wife and I back on the same page.

[B]

I believe that.

[A]

And it, it took a lot of work because it was a, a huge experience for me and she had no idea what happened.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And so, yeah, the together piece is really, really critical. Really critical.

[B]

So, so that, that I, I, I wrapped it into just the words a commitment. But it's a huge word.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

See, because do I see us as one or do I see you over there needing, quote, to get fixed or get better? Or do I understand that whatever issue you have, we have. Whatever issue I have, we have. It changes our whole perspective.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

On love.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It's a we. Not me, not you.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Yeah. So last week we kind of ended talking about how the mature leader is creating a space for this person to be healed, to experience healing. Right. And the next topic on the Christ centered maturing is living in freedom. Right. So where would you take that?

[B]

Living in freedom. Must have its foundation in who God says I am. Must have its foundation who God says. Or, and this is a critical aura. If my theology still sees me as a sinner, not a Saint still sees me as a sinner. I. I will read the New Testament through the eyes of what I ought to do to become godly, and that is bondage. There is no freedom when I read the Scriptures from what I ought to do. But if the foundation of who God says I am is becoming clear to my life and heart, then I read the Scriptures with a different lens. I read the Scriptures with the lens of what I can do. What I can do, by the way, that's freedom. What do I do with my freedom? What do I do in my freedom? Do I actually enjoy the illustration I think you gave in? Our first or second podcast on maturing is the guy who gets up in the morning and he says, well, God should be the first thing I think about. But I think about God. I think about work, or I think about breakfast, or I think about something else. And immediately he's lost his freedom, because in that, he's created a bondage of what ought to be true. And what if God was actually pleased with him? First of all, he actually woke up in the morning. And secondly, he actually thought about a job. So it's like this. How do I learn to live into freedom? I said, the foundation, Scott, is in who I am. I'm a saint. But there's some other part of that reality that I have to. I did, I had to grapple with. And this is this reality. Have I, because of Calvary, a new heart? Do I really have a new heart? If I still see myself as a Christian, as a sinner, I will believe I have the heart of Jeremiah, that I'm still deceitfully wicked. You see, nobody, nobody should ever trust that heart. And so what happens is people do not live in freedom because they haven't learned to trust their own heart.

[A]

Then they're totally dependent on something external to themselves as, as their guide. I gotta. I gotta remember these scriptures. I've gotta recite these scriptures every. I gotta do this. I. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta. And it's like, oh, my gosh, it is. It is a bondage.

[B]

It's a huge bondage.

[A]

But.

[B]

But what if.

[A]

And.

[B]

And now I'm just gonna get real personal. I struggled for many years. Many, many years. I am so capable of making such bad decisions. Nobody. I don't trust me. Nobody should trust me. That was my reality, and it haunted me because I so wanted to be trusted, because I so wanted to love and I so wanted to. And so I would share this. I can speak the words, I can say that God has Given us at Calvary a new identity and a new heart. I can say those words. The words will never affect me until I believe them to be true about me. And the same is true then. This whole idea of freedom is a word that many, many Christians never, ever pursue. Because A, they still see themselves as a sinner, B, they still see themselves with a heart that shouldn't be trusted. C, they're repeatedly told that that's true about them every time they' go to church. And so what they do is they live the best, quote, the best life they can in the bondage of not being enough. That's called misery. That's just called misery.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As I've said before in one of our books, Beau's Cafe, we were introduced to thousands and thousands of D. Church Christians.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

People who had been to church and discovered the church to be one of the places where they were hurt the most. Because what they were hoping they would discover is a place where they could be known. But what they discovered is a place where they were unbelievably criticized because of who they were. They were never enough. It breaks the heart of people. As we've discussed together, this dynamic of being Christ centered, it's living in the freedom of my new identity. It's living in the freedom of a new heart. It's living in the freedom of relationships, of love. It's living in the freedom of actually pursuing the purposes of God for my life. If I have not been taught to trust my God, I will never trust his purposes for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Young believers, in my opinion, are prematurely put into, this is God's will for your life. Do it. And so they get the task before the person. What they should be pursuing is a trusting of God so they can do the task. And this is a tragic reality. I did a lot of work with missions, mission organizations literally all over the world in the 80s and 90s. And Scott, this is a horrific statistic. Almost 80% of all new missionaries do not last 15 months on the mission field.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I've seen so many people go to the mission field and they go for the wrong reason.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

They're like, I gotta do something for God. And they go and it's disastrous. And they come home and then coming home is disastrous because I'm not. I'm not doing anything for God.

[B]

And it only took them five to seven years to get there. So you're hitting it right on the head. Here's the deal. Becoming like Christ, a phenomenon beyond my understanding, requires me to trust my God like he did. And if I don't trust my God, I will never, ever be healthy in honoring his purposes. That's a haunting statement. But my experience, and you just reminded us, my experience says all of these young, enthusiastic people devoting their life to God have never been taught to trust the God they're devoted to. And then reality sets in, and the endings are often critically negative.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So coming back to our foundation, and that is, who does God say I am? Am I a saint? Do I have a new heart?

[A]

Does he delight in me?

[B]

Does he delight in me?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Does he enjoy the fact I actually make choices that honor Him? Well, the answer is yes. Now, as we spend our time together, what we're trying to do is say, how do I. How does anybody get to the point where they understand this miracle? What I do for God is never, ever the point. The point is, what is my God doing in and through me?

[A]

Great spot to stop. We're going to keep this conversation going. We'll see you next week. Thanks again for listening to Living Influence. We appreciate you. We'd love it if you'd go to livinginfluence.com, contact us and send us an email. We'd love to know what you're thinking. See you next week.