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At a meeting last week, a guy said his sponsor once told him that “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing that a tomato doesn’t belong in a fruit salad.”

Everybody laughed, including me, but wow, what a profound phrase. I run into the conflict between those two things on a regular basis, and I see it a lot in other sober people, too.

One of the biggest potholes to my sobriety journey has been thinking I have enough knowledge to wage this battle on my own. I don’t. In fact, I’m not sure there is an amount of knowledge that will ever be enough to self-treat my addictions. I’ve read the key pieces of sober literature at least 25 times each at this point. I don’t know every word by heart, but I have explored every syllable of the major pieces of literature repeatedly, so my knowledge is quite good.

It’s not enough. I actually think incredible knowledge of sobriety can be a huge hinderance, because I think knowledge doesn’t ultimately lead to wisdom. I get wisdom from other sober people, and being connected to them. That’s why I think so many people didn’t love Zoom meetings as much as in-person meetings (brief aside: some people love Zoom meetings, and I believe Zoom meetings probably saved thousands of lives during the pandemic. So you will not hear any shade from me toward Zoom meetings. If they help you, that is awesome!). There’s something about reading about living a sober life and then seeing it in action, up close and personal, at meetings and get-togethers with people in recovery. If I really want to live the life that I think I do, I need to see it in action.

I’m a huge sports fan, so I see it play out on TV all the time. A guy knows the playbook really well, but then can’t execute the play or the run or the throw at gametime. That kind of thing requires knowledge and wisdom… and so does my sobriety.

This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:

Q: What’s the difference between a recovering alcoholic and an active one?

A: The recovering alcoholic says, “Halfway through the meeting, I passed the basket.” The active alcoholic says, “Half in the basket, I passed the meeting.”

(Credit: AA Grapevine, August 2002, Penny D. from Melbourne, Florida)

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