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- [00:01]
Gabby Winder
The following podcast is a dear media production. All right, here we go. Back at it again. And welcome to another episode of Long Windered with your host, Gaggy Winder. Don't forget it. Don't you ever forget it. First, I'd like to start with some New Year's housekeeping. Why don't you do something for me in the new year? I know you're only thinking about you and your dry January. Well, your alcoholism isn't my problem. Just leave me five stars already. I don't want to know about your juice cleanse until you give me five stars and then I'll. I still will not want to know, actually. Okay, well, I just had, like, three weeks off. We had pre recorded, so now we're getting back into it. And I'll tell you something. I'll tell you something. I'm scared and I'm anxious. I don't know what's to come. I don't know what's about to come out of my mouth. I don't know what's in store for the new year, But I'm back at work and I'm getting back into the groove of things. So over the break, I. Oh, I don't know. We just. We just relaxed. Imagine we watched a lot of movies. I just saw Anora yesterday. And let me tell you. Let me tell you. Robbie was about to go to a show, but I'm like, I want to watch the movie now. I can't wait for you to leave. So I'm going to play. We have 20 minutes. Let's just see where it goes. Immediately. Crazy erotic sex scenes. She's. First of all, where do you find someone like that who can act, speak Russian, and shake their ass? I mean, I've never seen anything like it. This one's a triple threat. This Mickey, amazing. And she doesn't have social media. I'm like, just. Must be nice. Must be nice. Robbie's like, I wish that for you one day. I'm like, I don't. I don't. How do you think I'm going to earn an income? I can and complain and talk about how it's ruining my life, my perception of myself. I'm putting way too much of my self worth into social media. But don't we all with our work? It's my place of employment. I have to earn us some money. Please. This is for the family. Oh, it was good. It was good. It was funny. I wasn't expecting it to be funny. Some people were like, there I was, laughing out loud. I'M like, I wouldn't go that far. I wouldn't go that far. But it was funnier than expected. Died for her. Died for Igor. I knew something was going to happen in the end. The foreshadowing was a little too on the nose. I'm like, wow, there's a lot of close ups on this Russian guy. Come to find out. Oh, spoilers, spoilers, spoilers. Anyways, I sobbed at the end. And the whole time I was like, this man is a lesbian here. Finally we have a lesbian in man form. He understands. He gets it. That went all out the window at the end. But maybe that was. Maybe that was a takeaway from the movie, is that we're all morally corrupt. Nobody's perfect. A man cannot turn down sex disgustingly enough even to even to save the world, even to save this movie. For once, we want a happy ending. Anyways, I sobbed. I was like, why am I crying so much? Why? Why? What is going on? Why is this getting to me? Am I selling myself for sex? Am I, in fact, sexualizing myself for money? Could be. Could be. And that's something I'll think about. But it helps that I'm a lesbian because I'm not doing it for you, Igor. You wish. You wish. But I'm not. So there was that. Ins and outs of 2025 ends. Leaving me the alone. Leave me alone. I'm not answering any calls. I'm not answering any FaceTimes. FaceTimes fill me with dread once I hear the bloop. Ignore. Turn the phone off. No, I can't be on. I can't pretend like I don't look like Jack Nicholson. I can't pretend that I'm paying attention to you in the conversation when I'm looking at my oddly shaped chin. I'm sorry, there's just not enough room for both. And you want me to be on. I'm terrified of my own experience here on this FaceTime ends. Leaving me alone ends. Poppers. Poppers. For off label use of constipation. Yes, you might lose some brain cells, but your asshole will dilate successfully so you don't have to push. You know, my medication makes me constipated, so this is top of mind out. Millennial speak. We didn't do a thing. We didn't do a thing. That's how I should have came out. Honestly, I should have been like, I did a thing. I'm a lesbian. I did a finger. I did a lick. I did a thing. You didn't do a thing by getting pregnant you and turned yourself upside down so the sperm hopefully will get far enough into your uterus and embed him. Embed itself for the miracle of life. You didn't do a thing. This was on purpose. A really big act. We're not adult teen. No, we're acting like adults. We don't have to make every noun into a verb. And you know how I feel about the term dog mom. If you consider yourself a dog mom, you're no friend of mine. That's not true. I have plenty of friends who consider themselves a dog mom. And I still love them. Both things can coexist at the same time, believe it or not. Also, what's in for 2025? Much like 2021. Zooms. We're zooming. I want to zoom. Yes. I live a life of isolation and loneliness. I'm depressed. I had a mother who didn't love me. This is the life I live. So I want to conduct all of my. All of my important meetings. Anything that I can do over zoom, I'm way more likely to do it. I've refused to go to acting class unless it's over zoom. I don't want to meet you face to face. I need the safety of a camera in the pretty filter. This is how I am the most confident. How's it going to work in real life? I'm not sure and I don't want to think about it. Funerals, weddings. I'm more likely to go over zoom. If I'm traveling for your wedding and I see you for five seconds. Put me on a zoom. It means the most. I will still contribute to your honey fund. In fact, I'm more likely to contribute to your honey fund if I don't have to fly in and buy a dress. All of that money could go to you in Key West. Imagine. Imagine how many sexes on the beach you could have with all of that honey fun that I'm saving. Doctor's appointments. I love a Zoom doctor appointment. I had this insurance, I don't know, a while ago, and they had this feature honestly worth its weight in gold, where you could have these urgent cares as $50. It was an app. You could have these urgent cares via Zoom. Please sign me up. I'm always looking to go to the urgent care. I love it there. I just had a finger infection. I would have gone to the urgent care if it was over my phone, but instead I went the homeopathic route and soaked it in warm salt water for two days straight. Worked like a charm. It did. So maybe I Didn't need an urgent care visit, but that's besides the point. I like the convenience of it. One time I had one of these zoom doctor's appointments. I had a big birthday coming up. We were all going to Miami. I got an Airbnb with the pool. And by no luck of timing, I had come into contact with the dirtiest dick I've maybe ever seen. Then and since gave me a uti, something I would not wish on my worst enemy. The feeling of constantly pissing your pants? No, thank you. I was walking around with the panty liner in case it did happen, but it never did. It was just the feeling that lingered. And then when I would finally pee, it felt like a sharp shard of glass was coming right out of my pee hole. Right out of the urethra. You might as well break a corona right on my clit because it felt like that. Block, block, block, block, block, Tim. Asap. After I knew what was going on. No, he'll never address me again. He'll never, never get a text back because I'll never receive the text because he's blocked. Anyways, she sent my antibiotics right to a Walgreens in Miami. We're cooking. We're still going to have a birthday. I'll probably be uncomfortable for another 12 hours. I'll double up on the doses in the beginning. I will get to that bacteria asap. She's also like, for your symptoms, to alleviate your symptoms, you can get the Azo over the counter, the kind that turns your urine orange. This is exciting for me. I must have a long urethra because I've never gotten a UTI before. I'm riddled with yeast. As you know, I used to get yeast infections around the clock. My ph didn't with dick. Turns out I'm a lesbian. There were signs. I know how to pop a monostat in. I know how to take a Diflucan, a uti. This is new territory for me. But now I can relate. And above all, I love to relate, especially to my girls. Okay, so I'm on the Azos that turn, and I'm like, oh, wow. They weren't kidding. My pee is bright orange. So one of my friends is the nurse practitioner, and I'm like, this is so crazy. She's like, I know. I'm like, should I pee in the pool? She's like, definitely egging me on. Pee in the pool, Gabby. Absolutely, you should pee in the pool because then people will be able to see it. But I had to time it right after about 8 hours with this UTI and taking these Azos every 4 hours, I know that if you take it, the first pee will not be affected. It'll affect your second pee. So I popped an azo. The first one I did in the toilet. The second one I held till the right time. We were all in the pool in a circle, playing some drinking games, doing our wine cooler, White claw. We're taking a couple edibles. We're feeling ourselves. There's WAP playing on the speaker. What? Ass. You guys remember that bop I got? Everyone where I wanted to be gave a wink to my friend Joanne. Pissed in the pool, cleared out like Jaws. It turned bright green because the water's blue. And then my pee was orange, and that makes green. Everyone got out of the pool. One girl was really mad at me. I mean, she took it personally. Lighten up. It's a joke. Everyone's peeing in the pool. And if you're not, you should try and you're lying about it. A green cloud was following me. I walked around the pool all by myself on purpose. And it was like a cartoon. It was incredible. This is what Zoom. Doctor's appointments give me a reason to live. And then, naturally, it got me thinking about women's health, because why wouldn't I think about it in this instance at all? Maybe because our government is actively in the way of women seeking healthcare. So then I was thinking. Then I was thinking about scotus. I was thinking about our Supreme Court. I'm like, imagine me a cr. A congresswoman. I am the congresswoman. This is what's going to happen next. Well, actually, in this instance, I'm probably a congressman because they seem to care more about my pussy than anyone else. But they don't care when they're down there because they have no idea what the anatomy is. Anyways, picture me a congressman, and I'm introducing this bill to scotus. And it goes like this. We can increase the accessibility of women's health if we make it exclusively over zoom. Nobody can go in the office. We'll. We'll be conducting our own pap smears as women in our living room. They'll send us a toolkit. We'll have somebody on the screen, preferably a woman, but you probably won't be able to pick the gender. Legs out. Lips. Lips. They'll give you the swab. You'll do your own. You'll put it on the petri dish. The doctor over zoom will help you, walk you through everything. Close the petri dish, put it on your living room credenza. And in a week we'll check back and they'll assess the petri dish to see if you have your resistant bacterial vaginosis back once again. Oh, I see a wart. It's probably that HPV again. They'll be able to assess it all over. Zoom. They might like this, the Supreme Court, because it's. Because it could be expensive and ineffective and they love a bad business model. And actually it's like, it's like this is the one time where the men are anti capitalist because if a woman comes in with a complaint or pain, nobody gives a. But if they started to give a fuck, they could run up our bill, make more money they're getting in their own way. A tale is old as time, truly. So I hope I'm not giving them any ideas, but they're not welcome here. I'm long winded. So if you're here, if you're here and you. You need to get out. If this is inspiring you in any sort of way, you need to get out. And then I was like, okay, well, Elon Musk is probably going to. Elon Musk is probably going to find a way for us to finally be able to get an abortion legally. And it'll go like this. And, and I might be giving him ideas, but you heard it here first. And I would like to verbally patent it and I might register it as my own idea. So if he wants to take it, he will owe me millions, close to billions. And you'll never see me again because I'll sell it. Okay, so. So Elon Musk could create an AI abortion. Maybe they would go for this. And in my mind, it would look something like a Roomba. It would look like a Roomba, it would act like a Roomba, but it wouldn't pick up any dust. No, this is here for your abortion. It'll knock on the door, come in again, you're in your living room, legs spread, pussy lips agape. The Roomba has retractable arm and a sprinkler system on the end. It'll insert and into your. It'll spray radioactive material to kill the baby. Around and around, blast off. But Elon Musk probably has no idea that you would have to get to the cervix to get to the uterus where the, where, where the egg is actually implanted. And that would need the radioactive material. So. So. Papa don't preach I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't preach I've been losing sleep And I made up my mind keeping my baby. Cause the robot didn't work. We would all be singing that in unison. Okay, so that wouldn't work. So he would need. He would need an abortion. Roomba 2.0. And it would also knock on your door and it would be like waist high, also with a retractable arm. And then it would just punch you in the stomach. 90 effective. And then maybe we'd be able to get abortions. Obviously, I'm kidding. Hello. And I will. It's like, I don't believe in much. You guys know. I'm screaming about women's rights. Okay, don't make me say it every week. I'm doing my part. But really, if I believed in something, really, if I hit the jackpot and did become some kind of millionaire, I would want to just give out plan B to everyone, however many you want. You could come to la, kind of like a Mexico. Come to my pharmacy and get all the plan B that you wanted. I used to take Plan B, like my daily multivitamin. In the morning, I'd eat it with my cereal. I have no idea how I never became pregnant because I was loose. Loose with it. Probably because Plan B. So. But don't tell the feds if they're listening. Okay? Just a little housekeeping also. Oh, my God. Okay, let me take care of the dog real quick. Nardo, lay down. Sit, sit, sit. Lay down, Lay down. Stretch big. Lay down. Lay down. Nardo, lay down. Lay down. Oh, my God. Not tonight. Okay? Anyways, Traders premieres tonight. Can you believe? Am I on it? We don't know yet. That's my favorite bit right now. People are like, there goes Gabby again, floating, photoshopping herself into the traitor's trailer. Like she's not beating these AI allegations with that weird ass filter. There she goes again. I wish you were really on it, Gabby. Well, we'll see. We'll see. And I'm terrified. I don't like to watch myself on TV. Nobody is supposed to see themselves in 4K on a 72 incher. No, it's scary. I'll just rip myself apart. Here we go. A new wave of people asking why my voice is the way it is. Does she actually talk like that? Believe you me, I've been trying to figure it out, too. I don't want to hear you. We've all been here. We've done that using. I come off as confident. Oh, Gabby, how are you so confident? I'm not. I'm shaking on the inside and overdosing on Propane alol. Oh, we're gonna have a confrontation here. Give me five. Give me five to minutes. I will take a propanell. Cue five minutes for a confrontation. Every four minutes I gotta load up, and then I'll come back to defend myself when my heart rate is at a solid 50. And then. You cannot get me worked up because I'm loaded up, because I've been popping a pro. All right, give it to me. I had to go to that roundtable every night, stone cold sober, raw dog, the most stressful arguments. And, yeah, I had to get in there because what am I supposed to do? Keep my mouth shut? What am I supposed to do? Sit back and watch? No, that's not in my personality. I can't. I don't know what. I don't know what I get overcome with. Most people, when they go on tv, they're a little more conservative. They watch what they say. Me, the opposite. No way. No, because I love to talk. It's in my DNA. But I'm mic'd up. But I forget because I come alive in the cameras. This is. This is how I'm supposed to be. This is how I'm supposed to live my life. I just don't want to watch it back. Most people watch what they say. I do the opposite. But then I forget. So I don't know what's. I don't know what they're gonna show on the tv. I'm terrified. In my one takeaway, and I said it once and I said it twice, and I'll say it thrice. These grown men take murder mysteries so ser. Live and die murder mystery. They love a clue game. They want to figure it out. You would think. You would think these people should be real detectives in their own lives. Or not. Or not. Because nobody's very good. It's impossible. It really is. People are as confused as they might seem. Okay, I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop before I get myself in trouble. See, because I talk too much. Any tune in, I would be lying if I said I'm not excited for the attention. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. My nose would grow if I sat here and said that I was not excited for all the attention I might be getting. It would grow right through this camera. Kiss you on the forehead. That's my nose. Because I'd be a liar. So. So we'll see. Robbie's like, we need to have a watch party. And I'm like, no, the we don't. We need to be Alone in a dark room with three to four bottles of wine because they drop three episodes at once. I gotta. I gotta do Nardo one more time. Nardo, lay down. Lay down. Oh, my God. Tom Holland and Zendaya are engaged. I don't know if they got engaged at the Golden Globes or what, but. And we've seen Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco. Who knows who's next? Maybe me and Robbie. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. But engagement season is upon us. And that means we'll be back in full blown wedding season in no time. And Birdie Gray is about to be your new bestie. They've got the most stylish, affordable dresses that are perfect for any vibe. We're not new to Birdie Gray around here. We love them. And that's because they believe that being in a wedding should look great without breaking the bank. We've been saying that's why all their bridesmaids dresses start at just 99. And each one is stunning. They have shades of green, the prettiest, pastels and pinks, purples and blues and so much more. Sounds perfect for a spring wedding, which, you know, we'll see in just a little bit of time. And the dresses are such high quality, they've got it all. You can get a gorgeous black tie satin gown or a floral option for those garden party vibes. And it's not just about the bridesmaid dresses. They also have an amazing collection of really budget, friendly little white dresses, all under $150. They have something for all bridal events, from engagement photos to the Bachelorette and even the wedding after party. So important. So visit www.birdiegray.com now to get your first six swatches for free. Available for a limited time only. That's B I r d y G-R-E-Y.com find the bridesmaid dresses. Perfect for you.
- [23:29]
Briony Deary
Hey, guys. I am Briony Deary, host of beyond the Mat and founder of Pilates by Briony. Through my Pilates journey, I have had access access to some of the most amazing individuals in their field, including celebrities, experts, athletes. Here I am going to bring you these intimate conversations from the mat to deeper, meaningful and raw discussions. You can catch new episodes every Thursday. Please don't forget to follow rate and review. See you on and beyond the Mat.
- [24:04]
Gabby Winder
Okay, trigger warning. I should really start every episode like this. So. But this time, really, I don't know if you guys heard of or know Giselle Pellica. Giselle Pellico. ITI is silent because she's French. A devastating story, a crazy story you will not believe is real. I was like, there's no way this can be real. And then we listened to a podcast on it by the New York Times, and it was really good. But you have to pay for it now. Now you have to pay for everything. There's a subscription. There's a subscription that you gotta. I'm already paying for the games and the cooking. You want more of my money? Then I'm gonna have to go back and unsubscribe. What more do you want from me? It's like, whatever happened to free press? I did feel iffy. I did feel like I had an inkling I was using that word wrong, and I was. I looked it up, and it was free as in. Not free monetarily, but free as in the First Amendment. Free press. Like, free speech in the press. Okay, well, I guess newspapers used to cost, like, 50 cents back then, but what the. That was affordable. And can you believe the First Amendment is free speech and the second is guns? Like this. This is our thought process in this country. Guns are almost equal of importance, of life. Of course we should be. This is a democracy of. We should be able to say what's on our mind, to say our opinion, even if it's wrong. And we got to own a gun, and we got to have our guns. Hell, yeah. Because this is the US Of A. So whatever happened to free press? I have to pay for anything that ends in post. Well, how am I supposed to read. How am I supposed to read the Blake Lively smear campaign that the New York Times wrote? Don't even get me started in this. I don't even want to talk about this. But here I am. I will not shut the fuck up about it. And then I'm gonna get back to Giselle. Just give me a second. Okay? So I'm sure you guys also know, which I. I learned. I learned a lot of this from this article, but it's like. So apparently Justin Ba. Justin Baldini and his publicist, like, had a smear campaign against Blake Lively, which, like, in the press, they were pushing these stories about Blake. Like, but it's like. Yeah, they pushed. They, like, planted them. I don't know. They were giving them to tmz. They were, like, putting them on social media and seeing what caught wind. A smear campaign. But. But all of these things were true. But I guess there was stuff about Justin Baldoni that got looked over, by the way. I think he's a creep, too. I Think he's probably keen of the creeps. Mega creep. Mega freakazoid. Disgusting. One, because he's a man. Two, because he stands on a platform about supporting women. Red flag. Why do you care so much? What do you have to hide and, like, really aligns with organized religion? No, no, I'm sorry. That isn't sending the right message. I think you're getting ahead of it, you creepo. So anyways, the New York Times article is kind of discussing this because Blake Lively is suing Justin. And this was an opinion article. For some reason, they. They had subpoenaed these text messages. Not like the police or anything, but the New York Times Journal had subpoenaed text messages which seem like real data, but they put it in the opinion column. I'm confused. I'm confused. So we're supposed. So anything cannot be used against them because it was an opinion. Well, it seems like you were giving it to us like it was fact. Justin is now suing the New York Times, I'm sure, for defamation. It's giving Johnny Depp and Amber heard. And first of all. First of all, I'm not victim shaming. No, no, I'm not. Because you can be an asshole in an interview to a French lady for no reason after she congratulated you, Blake Lively, on your pregnancy. And Blake, for some reason, was like, oh, I like your baby bump too, to the interviewer, who clearly wasn't pregnant. What's going on, Blake? I don't know what kind of behavior this is. Mean girl. And she had some questionable. She had a questionable press tour about this movie about domestic violence. She was like, I don't want to make it dark, but domestic violence is dark. I don't know if we can put a spin on it to make it light with your florals and your clothing line in your hair care. It's just. It's just really tone deaf. You can be all those things and victim. Okay. And people had a hard time believing that in the beginning, including me. I was. I was gaslit completely. I was bamboozled. I'm like, ugh, here she goes again. Then I read the article, and I was like, this is pretty damning evidence that he was trying to cover up something. Then there was allegations that he was commenting on her way that he made her feel uncomfortable, like, asked, I don't know, for her to wear, like, more scandalous outfits and went into her trailer while she was breastfeeding. I was like, oh, no. But then he came out with text messages that. First of all, the Text message. The subpoena. Text messages from the New York Times looked like they were from some kind of 1990 AOL account. It was not a text exchange, as we know. Maybe because of the software, but I don't, I don't know what's going on here. Basically they were cherry picking evidence and it's like, obviously they got some kind of exclusive. Blake Lively is also using her publicists to get the, to get the biggest story to give the New York Times the exclusive to increase their subscriptions. Oh, well, it worked. Everybody read this article. So the. We're all driven by money. Hello. Okay. Yeah. Then Justin released his text messages that were like, shit, whatever. Talking about the breastfeeding thing. She was like, no, I guess it's okay. I have to pump. And I don't know, I don't know what is going on. I. I never want a victim shame. Especially in instances of sexual assault. But I don't know. But, but see, you see, that's in. But then we had the Johnny. And I'm not saying they're exactly the same, but I'm saying both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard were batshit crazy. They were both abusive to each other. She. Ultimately, she also wrote an opinion piece and he sued her for defamation. And really, I think she lost. She lost the case when it came to light that she took a big fat dump on Johnny's side of the bed. And guilty. That defamation definitely. So I don't know. Okay. Anyway, so the New York Times. So they're making me pay for this, for this journalistic educational podcast which should be free because men are not going to pay for anything behind the paywall unless it has two tits and two eyes. And I would go out on a limb and say, and say. Unless it had two tits and one eye. Because you know they have a Cyclops fantasy because you know, they're troglodytes at their core. Those cavemen. They. They want to see a one eyed. That's what they would pay for. Not. But, but they, but they need this information, this story to enlighten them about what not to do and how sick they are just by their sheer form of being an XY creature. And you'll see, you'll see Giselle Pellico, she's French. This happened in France. Oh my God, you guys. Basically, she. So she was married to her husband for like 50 years or something. Her beloved. Her. But what is betrothed, not brethren, because she's not incestual. Betrothed to her one and only until Death do us part. The man you trust the most. And for a decade, he was drugging her every night and raping her and called in some 50 men to also rape her while she was snoring. They know she was snoring because they have it on video. Can. Like this. Like, this isn't even. This is so extreme. This is such extreme sociopathy that it's like, can this even be true? Is a person capable of this also Millennial speak. We're not using my human. Her human. We're not using my human. Okay, I found my human. Ugh, please don't. So he was taking her to all these doctor's appointments because she was having unexplained symptoms, like losing her hair. And she was having these quote unquote blackouts. What? Random blackouts? No, it sounds like she's under severe stress and her husband would accompany her to these doctor's appointments. But the doctors were not doing their due diligence. If you ask me, I'm doing my due diligence. In fact, checking my ass, kind of, sort of. Please. This is actual. Not this. This journalism has no integrity, but it has as much as I'm capable of. But these doctors were not doing their due diligence. They should have seen, they should have assessed her, questioned her alone. Especially if she's having these quote, unquote blackouts. Obviously, it's her husband. He's a sick fuck. So he wasn't even found out through these doctor's appointments. He was caught on camera at like a grocery store taking pictures under girl skirts. Like, he was like, what? And apparently he was doing this to like, his daughter and granddaughter or something like, pervert. Pervert to the max. So he was caught on camera by the grocery store, and then the police, like, got a warrant to get his. All his cell phones. And then they even. They saw some like, really questionable stuff, like taking pictures under girls skirts and just some like, sketchy stuff like obviously this, like, pervert would do. And then they. They got his computers and hard drives and they found like 20, 000 videos and pictures of his wife being raped by these men. And she was literally snoring. And the men would be like, oh, well, silence is consent. Are you okay? You sick freak? You sick. Silence is consent. She's snoring. This gets you off. Because nobody in their right mind would fuck you and someone's wife. It's just so. It's so disgusting. I can't. So anyways, when the husband pled guilty, he was like, yeah, I was Abused as a child. It's like, okay, okay, join the club. Okay. Yeah. So then at first, when this. When the investigation, when she. She found out because the police told her they had called her into a private room, was like, this is going. This is what's going on. So, you know, a lot of victims of rape, they want to be anonymous because it shouldn't be, but it feels embarrassing and shameful. You don't want to. You're already undergoing this huge physical and emotional trauma, this huge betrayal from your husband. Like, you don't want to have to have this public. So everybody knows about it. So naturally, they want to be anonymous. So she changed her. Her last name back to her maiden name, and then she was like, oh, no, I want to, like, spread awareness and. And, you know, stick up for women and kind of share my story. And so she used her husband's last name, as she should, to drag him through the fucking mud. So his last name holds no value. Yeah. Okay. So then they're getting to the trial. They're getting to the courtroom, and all fifth. They have to make room for all 50 men to line up. And they were in, like, sunglasses and masks. I would lose my. Apparently, she was like, really poison graceful. And the podcast was, like, complimenting her on that. I'm like, no, no, Actually, somebody in this position, victims do not have to be poisoned graceful. I would be losing my mind, seeing red, stacked with assault rifles. Like a judge. Excuse me, judge. Permission to kill these disgusting perverts who are not safe to be walking the street. If they're capable of something like this, what else are they capable of? Permission to kill. And, like, I don't want all 50 of them together. No, because they. Then they'll think they have a community. Then they'll find support in one another. Then they'll be like, oh, I'm not alone in this. At least all these people are with me. No, I want them to feel isolated and alone and disgustingly ashamed. I want them to. To stand up one by one, take their. Take their glasses off, take their masks off. I'm gonna roast them based on their appearance. Oh, you have to rape someone when they're unconscious and snoring. Because no one will you with a grill looking like that. No, because no one will you with the grill looking like 52 card pickup coated in yellow paint, you disgusting freak. That's what I would do. That's what I would do. And then I would line them up, and with the same pressure of a fire hydrant, I'd build. Build My own weapon that looks like a fire hydrant with depression, but that's just like. That's just filled with bullets. And I'd take them out. I take them all out. Because what else are you going to do to feel like you got revenge? She has to live with this with her whole life. How does she sleep at night? She's probably not getting a wink of sleep because all the. All this. All these terrifying things happened to her while she was asleep for a decade. Oh, guys, I just can't do it. All right, let's move on to something lighter, shall we? Because I'm not going to be able to clip any of this podcast. Really? Talking about those sick and AI abortion and my new invention of a Roomba. Kiss my social media clips goodbye. Okay, so let's focus on. Let's switch gears to something a little lighter. Small talk. And I know what you think I'm going to say, and I'm gonna say the opposite. I don't think small talk so bad. No, I think it's being an adult. Because what's the alternative to small talk, Big talk, deep talk? As an acquaintance, I've met you at one party before. I don't want to know that your dad sexualized you. Who hasn't he sexualized? I don't want to know that your girlfriend has a boyfriend and they're in the hot tub because then I'm gonna judge. Then you've opened up a window and I. I don't want to know anything about your polyamorous relationship. Truly. I do want to talk about the weather. Actually. It was a really warm day for January. Can global warming may be because it's just a part of being an adult. What are you going to do in the airport? I don't want to know that you hate your husband. You're. He's right next to you. He's right next to you in coach on this Delta flight. We have 45 minutes. Please don't tell me anything else. No, I want to talk about my tomato juice. Sure. You got an apple? I have a savory tooth. I never really had a sweet tooth. No, I'm. I'm an adult. It's. It's activities of daily life. It's ADL's. I'd rather step on glass than brush my teeth. Sometimes I know it's the one thing about me, but I do it anyway. I do it anyway because I've. I'm of a certain age. I'm putting on deodorant when I know I'm Going to be around people because I don't want to do it all the time because of the risk of breast cancer. So I have to pick and choose my battles. But if I know I'm going to be around someone, you bet your ass I'm going to take care of my own. No, I don't want to pay my credit card, Especially after the holidays. I'd rather live under a rock. I thought it was free money. Why are you increasing my limit without even asking me? But, oh, all of a sudden it's a service. I love it. So I small talk. So I small talk. And. And I get good at it, you know, because. Because it's like, yeah, what else are we gonna do? I can talk about, oh, how's work? Where are you in from? It's just like, okay, we can listen a little. We can talk a little. Oh, I'm gonna catch up with you later. I got someone else to small talk with. I'll just, like, make my rounds. It's totally okay, because I don't want to know too much. That's not for me to know. And I'm not gonna tell you too much because I don't trust you. I need to watch you from afar for a long time until I trust you. Sometimes I might throw. Sometimes if I'm really curious, Sometimes if I' feeling funny, I might throw in, how's the raw milk treating you? And then you get to know their political affiliation. How's the raw milk? Oh, I'm not on raw milk. Ah, okay. Okay. Oh. Oh, I love it. It's so sweet. But I'm gonna have diarrhea for the next four to five years. They won't say that because they don't know yet. We've been pasteurizing milk for so long. Why stop now? Why willingly introduce some viral bacterial drink when we know that it was pasteurized for a reason? They've been doing it for so long for a reason. Let's just trust our ancestors here. We don't have to. Why are we. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's like polio's making a comeback. And now. And then raw milk. What are we doing? What's going on? The bagel shop won't allow dogs, but they'll allow infants. Maybe my dog has an allergen, which he doesn't because he's hypoallergenic. But what does your baby have? I polio is making a comeback. And based on your sperry loafer and your in your mailman cap, I don't think you opted for the mmr. And we see what happened to fdr. What's your excuse? What's going on here? No, but my dog. My dog cannot come in for fear of contamination of the white fish. But your baby's sneezing. I know. It doesn't know how to wash its own hands yet. And it's probably digging in its own diaper and spreading it all over the counters because you don't have a good eye. You don't have a good eye on them. We don't know their gender yet. It's not for me to say. So there they them at the toddler age. But I can't allow my dog. Sure, okay. That's fine. If you're drinking your raw milk, what's next, chicken tartar? Do you like all your poultry raw? Are you gonna eat your slimy butterball turkey on Thanksgiving raw? With no roast? It'll save you three to four hours. You're gonna serve it to the guests like that? Unpasteurized, Straight from the Kroger frozen section? Is that what we're doing now? Is that what we're doing? Playing with our fate of E. Coli salmonella again? Here comes another outbreak. But I can't bring my dog into the bagel shop. It's really. It's really actually quite interesting. And. And on that note, I think that's all for today. So please, please, once again, leave me five stars. And don't forget, traders is on 6pm PST, 9pm EST. Don't tell me what you think unless it's all good things. Okay? See you next week on Long Winded. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Code.