AI aborti*n - Long Winded with Gabby Windey

Summary

Podcast Summary: Long Winded with Gabby Windey – Episode: AI Aborti*n (January 9, 2025)

Introduction and Personal Reflections

Timestamp: [00:01]

Gabby Windey kicks off the episode by addressing her listeners with characteristic humor and candor. After a brief hiatus, she shares her feelings of anxiety and uncertainty about the upcoming year. Gabby’s relatable discussion touches on her apprehensions about returning to work and the unpredictability of content creation.

Gabby Winder: "I'm scared and I'm anxious. I don't know what's to come. I don't know what's about to come out of my mouth." [00:45]

Movie Review: Anora

Timestamp: [05:30]

Gabby delves into her recent movie-watching experience, specifically reviewing the film "Anora." She provides an in-depth analysis of the characters and plot, highlighting a particularly intense and emotional scene involving the character Igor. Gabby’s insights reveal her ability to critically engage with pop culture while maintaining her signature humor.

Gabby Winder: "A man cannot turn down sex disgustingly enough even to save the world, even to save this movie. For once, we want a happy ending." [09:15]

Social Media and Self-worth

Timestamp: [10:50]

Transitioning from movies to social media, Gabby openly critiques the pressure to maintain an online presence. She discusses the impact of social media on self-esteem and the struggle to balance personal authenticity with the demands of digital visibility.

Gabby Winder: "I'm putting way too much of my self-worth into social media. But don't we all with our work?" [11:30]

Personal Health Story: UTI and Azos Adventure

Timestamp: [15:20]

Gabby shares a personal anecdote about dealing with a urinary tract infection (UTI) and her humorous yet candid experience with over-the-counter medication, Azos. This segment humanizes Gabby, showcasing her ability to discuss sensitive health topics with humor and openness.

Gabby Winder: "I was walking around with the panty liner in case it did happen, but it never did. And then I would finally pee, it felt like a sharp shard of glass was coming right out of my pee hole." [16:40]

Her playful recounting of peeing in the pool after taking Azos adds levity to the discussion, highlighting societal attitudes towards bodily functions.

Gabby Winder: "Everyone got out of the pool. One girl was really mad at me. I mean, she took it personally. Lighten up." [20:10]

Women's Health and the Hypothetical AI Abortion

Timestamp: [20:00]

The episode takes a bold turn as Gabby explores the intersection of women's health and emerging technology. She humorously speculates on the concept of an AI-driven abortion device, drawing parallels to everyday household gadgets like Roombas. This segment underscores Gabby’s critical view of technological advancements in sensitive areas of healthcare.

Gabby Winder: "Elon Musk could create an AI abortion. Maybe they would go for this. And in my mind, it would look something like a Roomba." [22:05]

Gabby further satirizes the idea by imagining the malfunctioning of such a device, blending dark humor with sharp social commentary.

Gabby Winder: "Papa don't preach I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't preach I've been losing sleep." [23:40]

She uses this hypothetical scenario to critique the commercialization and depersonalization of reproductive health services, emphasizing the need for compassionate and ethical approaches.

Media Critique: The Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni Defamation Case

Timestamp: [24:04]

In a fiery critique, Gabby addresses a high-profile defamation case involving Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni. She dissects the New York Times' involvement, accusing the publication of a smear campaign and defaming Lively without substantive evidence. Gabby's passionate rant highlights issues of media integrity and the pitfalls of sensational journalism.

Gabby Winder: "The New York Times is making me pay for this, for this journalistic educational podcast which should be free because men are not going to pay for anything behind the paywall unless it has two tits and two eyes." [25:30]

She draws parallels to the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard case, arguing that media outlets often mishandle sensitive legal battles, leading to public misinformation and biased narratives.

Gabby Winder: "Johnny Depp and Amber Heard were batshit crazy. They were both abusive to each other." [27:15]

Gabby vehemently criticizes the handling of victim stories, advocating for greater empathy and accountability in media reporting.

Gabby Winder: "You could see Giselle Pellico, she's French. This happened in France. A devastated story, a crazy story you will not believe is real." [26:05]

Towards the End: Small Talk and Daily Life Musings

Timestamp: [30:00]

Shifting gears, Gabby reflects on the nature of small talk versus meaningful conversations. She humorously critiques societal norms around superficial interactions, emphasizing her preference for genuine connections while acknowledging the ubiquity of small talk in daily life.

Gabby Winder: "I do the opposite. But then I forget. So I don't know what's. I don't know what they're gonna show on the TV. I'm terrified." [33:50]

The segment blends humor with introspection, showcasing Gabby's ability to navigate between light-hearted banter and deeper societal observations.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Timestamp: [44:00]

Gabby wraps up the episode by summarizing her diverse range of topics, from personal health to media criticism. She reinforces her commitment to tackling both serious and relatable issues with authenticity and humor, leaving listeners with a sense of anticipation for future episodes.

Gabby Winder: "See you next week on Long Winded. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services." [44:45]

Notable Quotes:

On Returning to Work:

Gabby Winder: "I'm scared and I'm anxious. I don't know what's to come. I don't know what's about to come out of my mouth." [00:45]
On Social Media Self-worth:

Gabby Winder: "I'm putting way too much of my self-worth into social media. But don't we all with our work?" [11:30]
On Hypothetical AI Abortion:

Gabby Winder: "Elon Musk could create an AI abortion. Maybe they would go for this. And in my mind, it would look something like a Roomba." [22:05]
On Media Integrity:

Gabby Winder: "The New York Times is making me pay for this, for this journalistic educational podcast which should be free because men are not going to pay for anything behind the paywall unless it has two tits and two eyes." [25:30]
On Small Talk:

Gabby Winder: "I do the opposite. But then I forget. So I don't know what's. I don't know what they're gonna show on the TV. I'm terrified." [33:50]

Key Themes and Insights:

Authenticity vs. Commercialization: Gabby navigates the tension between maintaining personal authenticity and the pressures of monetization, especially on social media platforms.
Humor in Vulnerability: Through personal anecdotes, Gabby illustrates how humor can be a coping mechanism for dealing with health issues and personal challenges.
Media Criticism: A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to critiquing media practices, particularly in the context of defamation and the portrayal of victim stories.
Technological Ethics in Healthcare: The speculative discussion on AI abortion devices raises ethical questions about the role of technology in reproductive health.
Social Interaction Dynamics: Gabby’s musings on small talk versus meaningful conversations highlight societal patterns in interpersonal communication.

Conclusion

In this episode of "Long Winded with Gabby Windey," Gabby seamlessly blends personal stories with sharp societal critiques, all delivered with her trademark humor and honesty. From dissecting media scandals to imagining futuristic healthcare solutions, Gabby provides listeners with a rich tapestry of discussions that are both entertaining and thought-provoking. Whether sharing her own health battles or challenging the status quo of media integrity, Gabby ensures that every conversation goes beyond surface-level dialogue, offering a deep dive into topics that resonate with today's audiences.

Transcript

Gabby Winder (0:01)

The following podcast is a dear media production. All right, here we go. Back at it again. And welcome to another episode of Long Windered with your host, Gaggy Winder. Don't forget it. Don't you ever forget it. First, I'd like to start with some New Year's housekeeping. Why don't you do something for me in the new year? I know you're only thinking about you and your dry January. Well, your alcoholism isn't my problem. Just leave me five stars already. I don't want to know about your juice cleanse until you give me five stars and then I'll. I still will not want to know, actually. Okay, well, I just had, like, three weeks off. We had pre recorded, so now we're getting back into it. And I'll tell you something. I'll tell you something. I'm scared and I'm anxious. I don't know what's to come. I don't know what's about to come out of my mouth. I don't know what's in store for the new year, But I'm back at work and I'm getting back into the groove of things. So over the break, I. Oh, I don't know. We just. We just relaxed. Imagine we watched a lot of movies. I just saw Anora yesterday. And let me tell you. Let me tell you. Robbie was about to go to a show, but I'm like, I want to watch the movie now. I can't wait for you to leave. So I'm going to play. We have 20 minutes. Let's just see where it goes. Immediately. Crazy erotic sex scenes. She's. First of all, where do you find someone like that who can act, speak Russian, and shake their ass? I mean, I've never seen anything like it. This one's a triple threat. This Mickey, amazing. And she doesn't have social media. I'm like, just. Must be nice. Must be nice. Robbie's like, I wish that for you one day. I'm like, I don't. I don't. How do you think I'm going to earn an income? I can and complain and talk about how it's ruining my life, my perception of myself. I'm putting way too much of my self worth into social media. But don't we all with our work? It's my place of employment. I have to earn us some money. Please. This is for the family. Oh, it was good. It was good. It was funny. I wasn't expecting it to be funny. Some people were like, there I was, laughing out loud. I'M like, I wouldn't go that far. I wouldn't go that far. But it was funnier than expected. Died for her. Died for Igor. I knew something was going to happen in the end. The foreshadowing was a little too on the nose. I'm like, wow, there's a lot of close ups on this Russian guy. Come to find out. Oh, spoilers, spoilers, spoilers. Anyways, I sobbed at the end. And the whole time I was like, this man is a lesbian here. Finally we have a lesbian in man form. He understands. He gets it. That went all out the window at the end. But maybe that was. Maybe that was a takeaway from the movie, is that we're all morally corrupt. Nobody's perfect. A man cannot turn down sex disgustingly enough even to even to save the world, even to save this movie. For once, we want a happy ending. Anyways, I sobbed. I was like, why am I crying so much? Why? Why? What is going on? Why is this getting to me? Am I selling myself for sex? Am I, in fact, sexualizing myself for money? Could be. Could be. And that's something I'll think about. But it helps that I'm a lesbian because I'm not doing it for you, Igor. You wish. You wish. But I'm not. So there was that. Ins and outs of 2025 ends. Leaving me the alone. Leave me alone. I'm not answering any calls. I'm not answering any FaceTimes. FaceTimes fill me with dread once I hear the bloop. Ignore. Turn the phone off. No, I can't be on. I can't pretend like I don't look like Jack Nicholson. I can't pretend that I'm paying attention to you in the conversation when I'm looking at my oddly shaped chin. I'm sorry, there's just not enough room for both. And you want me to be on. I'm terrified of my own experience here on this FaceTime ends. Leaving me alone ends. Poppers. Poppers. For off label use of constipation. Yes, you might lose some brain cells, but your asshole will dilate successfully so you don't have to push. You know, my medication makes me constipated, so this is top of mind out. Millennial speak. We didn't do a thing. We didn't do a thing. That's how I should have came out. Honestly, I should have been like, I did a thing. I'm a lesbian. I did a finger. I did a lick. I did a thing. You didn't do a thing by getting pregnant you and turned yourself upside down so the sperm hopefully will get far enough into your uterus and embed him. Embed itself for the miracle of life. You didn't do a thing. This was on purpose. A really big act. We're not adult teen. No, we're acting like adults. We don't have to make every noun into a verb. And you know how I feel about the term dog mom. If you consider yourself a dog mom, you're no friend of mine. That's not true. I have plenty of friends who consider themselves a dog mom. And I still love them. Both things can coexist at the same time, believe it or not. Also, what's in for 2025? Much like 2021. Zooms. We're zooming. I want to zoom. Yes. I live a life of isolation and loneliness. I'm depressed. I had a mother who didn't love me. This is the life I live. So I want to conduct all of my. All of my important meetings. Anything that I can do over zoom, I'm way more likely to do it. I've refused to go to acting class unless it's over zoom. I don't want to meet you face to face. I need the safety of a camera in the pretty filter. This is how I am the most confident. How's it going to work in real life? I'm not sure and I don't want to think about it. Funerals, weddings. I'm more likely to go over zoom. If I'm traveling for your wedding and I see you for five seconds. Put me on a zoom. It means the most. I will still contribute to your honey fund. In fact, I'm more likely to contribute to your honey fund if I don't have to fly in and buy a dress. All of that money could go to you in Key West. Imagine. Imagine how many sexes on the beach you could have with all of that honey fun that I'm saving. Doctor's appointments. I love a Zoom doctor appointment. I had this insurance, I don't know, a while ago, and they had this feature honestly worth its weight in gold, where you could have these urgent cares as $50. It was an app. You could have these urgent cares via Zoom. Please sign me up. I'm always looking to go to the urgent care. I love it there. I just had a finger infection. I would have gone to the urgent care if it was over my phone, but instead I went the homeopathic route and soaked it in warm salt water for two days straight. Worked like a charm. It did. So maybe I Didn't need an urgent care visit, but that's besides the point. I like the convenience of it. One time I had one of these zoom doctor's appointments. I had a big birthday coming up. We were all going to Miami. I got an Airbnb with the pool. And by no luck of timing, I had come into contact with the dirtiest dick I've maybe ever seen. Then and since gave me a uti, something I would not wish on my worst enemy. The feeling of constantly pissing your pants? No, thank you. I was walking around with the panty liner in case it did happen, but it never did. It was just the feeling that lingered. And then when I would finally pee, it felt like a sharp shard of glass was coming right out of my pee hole. Right out of the urethra. You might as well break a corona right on my clit because it felt like that. Block, block, block, block, block, Tim. Asap. After I knew what was going on. No, he'll never address me again. He'll never, never get a text back because I'll never receive the text because he's blocked. Anyways, she sent my antibiotics right to a Walgreens in Miami. We're cooking. We're still going to have a birthday. I'll probably be uncomfortable for another 12 hours. I'll double up on the doses in the beginning. I will get to that bacteria asap. She's also like, for your symptoms, to alleviate your symptoms, you can get the Azo over the counter, the kind that turns your urine orange. This is exciting for me. I must have a long urethra because I've never gotten a UTI before. I'm riddled with yeast. As you know, I used to get yeast infections around the clock. My ph didn't with dick. Turns out I'm a lesbian. There were signs. I know how to pop a monostat in. I know how to take a Diflucan, a uti. This is new territory for me. But now I can relate. And above all, I love to relate, especially to my girls. Okay, so I'm on the Azos that turn, and I'm like, oh, wow. They weren't kidding. My pee is bright orange. So one of my friends is the nurse practitioner, and I'm like, this is so crazy. She's like, I know. I'm like, should I pee in the pool? She's like, definitely egging me on. Pee in the pool, Gabby. Absolutely, you should pee in the pool because then people will be able to see it. But I had to time it right after about 8 hours with this UTI and taking these Azos every 4 hours, I know that if you take it, the first pee will not be affected. It'll affect your second pee. So I popped an azo. The first one I did in the toilet. The second one I held till the right time. We were all in the pool in a circle, playing some drinking games, doing our wine cooler, White claw. We're taking a couple edibles. We're feeling ourselves. There's WAP playing on the speaker. What? Ass. You guys remember that bop I got? Everyone where I wanted to be gave a wink to my friend Joanne. Pissed in the pool, cleared out like Jaws. It turned bright green because the water's blue. And then my pee was orange, and that makes green. Everyone got out of the pool. One girl was really mad at me. I mean, she took it personally. Lighten up. It's a joke. Everyone's peeing in the pool. And if you're not, you should try and you're lying about it. A green cloud was following me. I walked around the pool all by myself on purpose. And it was like a cartoon. It was incredible. This is what Zoom. Doctor's appointments give me a reason to live. And then, naturally, it got me thinking about women's health, because why wouldn't I think about it in this instance at all? Maybe because our government is actively in the way of women seeking healthcare. So then I was thinking. Then I was thinking about scotus. I was thinking about our Supreme Court. I'm like, imagine me a cr. A congresswoman. I am the congresswoman. This is what's going to happen next. Well, actually, in this instance, I'm probably a congressman because they seem to care more about my pussy than anyone else. But they don't care when they're down there because they have no idea what the anatomy is. Anyways, picture me a congressman, and I'm introducing this bill to scotus. And it goes like this. We can increase the accessibility of women's health if we make it exclusively over zoom. Nobody can go in the office. We'll. We'll be conducting our own pap smears as women in our living room. They'll send us a toolkit. We'll have somebody on the screen, preferably a woman, but you probably won't be able to pick the gender. Legs out. Lips. Lips. They'll give you the swab. You'll do your own. You'll put it on the petri dish. The doctor over zoom will help you, walk you through everything. Close the petri dish, put it on your living room credenza. And in a week we'll check back and they'll assess the petri dish to see if you have your resistant bacterial vaginosis back once again. Oh, I see a wart. It's probably that HPV again. They'll be able to assess it all over. Zoom. They might like this, the Supreme Court, because it's. Because it could be expensive and ineffective and they love a bad business model. And actually it's like, it's like this is the one time where the men are anti capitalist because if a woman comes in with a complaint or pain, nobody gives a. But if they started to give a fuck, they could run up our bill, make more money they're getting in their own way. A tale is old as time, truly. So I hope I'm not giving them any ideas, but they're not welcome here. I'm long winded. So if you're here, if you're here and you. You need to get out. If this is inspiring you in any sort of way, you need to get out. And then I was like, okay, well, Elon Musk is probably going to. Elon Musk is probably going to find a way for us to finally be able to get an abortion legally. And it'll go like this. And, and I might be giving him ideas, but you heard it here first. And I would like to verbally patent it and I might register it as my own idea. So if he wants to take it, he will owe me millions, close to billions. And you'll never see me again because I'll sell it. Okay, so. So Elon Musk could create an AI abortion. Maybe they would go for this. And in my mind, it would look something like a Roomba. It would look like a Roomba, it would act like a Roomba, but it wouldn't pick up any dust. No, this is here for your abortion. It'll knock on the door, come in again, you're in your living room, legs spread, pussy lips agape. The Roomba has retractable arm and a sprinkler system on the end. It'll insert and into your. It'll spray radioactive material to kill the baby. Around and around, blast off. But Elon Musk probably has no idea that you would have to get to the cervix to get to the uterus where the, where, where the egg is actually implanted. And that would need the radioactive material. So. So. Papa don't preach I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't preach I've been losing sleep And I made up my mind keeping my baby. Cause the robot didn't work. We would all be singing that in unison. Okay, so that wouldn't work. So he would need. He would need an abortion. Roomba 2.0. And it would also knock on your door and it would be like waist high, also with a retractable arm. And then it would just punch you in the stomach. 90 effective. And then maybe we'd be able to get abortions. Obviously, I'm kidding. Hello. And I will. It's like, I don't believe in much. You guys know. I'm screaming about women's rights. Okay, don't make me say it every week. I'm doing my part. But really, if I believed in something, really, if I hit the jackpot and did become some kind of millionaire, I would want to just give out plan B to everyone, however many you want. You could come to la, kind of like a Mexico. Come to my pharmacy and get all the plan B that you wanted. I used to take Plan B, like my daily multivitamin. In the morning, I'd eat it with my cereal. I have no idea how I never became pregnant because I was loose. Loose with it. Probably because Plan B. So. But don't tell the feds if they're listening. Okay? Just a little housekeeping also. Oh, my God. Okay, let me take care of the dog real quick. Nardo, lay down. Sit, sit, sit. Lay down, Lay down. Stretch big. Lay down. Lay down. Nardo, lay down. Lay down. Oh, my God. Not tonight. Okay? Anyways, Traders premieres tonight. Can you believe? Am I on it? We don't know yet. That's my favorite bit right now. People are like, there goes Gabby again, floating, photoshopping herself into the traitor's trailer. Like she's not beating these AI allegations with that weird ass filter. There she goes again. I wish you were really on it, Gabby. Well, we'll see. We'll see. And I'm terrified. I don't like to watch myself on TV. Nobody is supposed to see themselves in 4K on a 72 incher. No, it's scary. I'll just rip myself apart. Here we go. A new wave of people asking why my voice is the way it is. Does she actually talk like that? Believe you me, I've been trying to figure it out, too. I don't want to hear you. We've all been here. We've done that using. I come off as confident. Oh, Gabby, how are you so confident? I'm not. I'm shaking on the inside and overdosing on Propane alol. Oh, we're gonna have a confrontation here. Give me five. Give me five to minutes. I will take a propanell. Cue five minutes for a confrontation. Every four minutes I gotta load up, and then I'll come back to defend myself when my heart rate is at a solid 50. And then. You cannot get me worked up because I'm loaded up, because I've been popping a pro. All right, give it to me. I had to go to that roundtable every night, stone cold sober, raw dog, the most stressful arguments. And, yeah, I had to get in there because what am I supposed to do? Keep my mouth shut? What am I supposed to do? Sit back and watch? No, that's not in my personality. I can't. I don't know what. I don't know what I get overcome with. Most people, when they go on tv, they're a little more conservative. They watch what they say. Me, the opposite. No way. No, because I love to talk. It's in my DNA. But I'm mic'd up. But I forget because I come alive in the cameras. This is. This is how I'm supposed to be. This is how I'm supposed to live my life. I just don't want to watch it back. Most people watch what they say. I do the opposite. But then I forget. So I don't know what's. I don't know what they're gonna show on the tv. I'm terrified. In my one takeaway, and I said it once and I said it twice, and I'll say it thrice. These grown men take murder mysteries so ser. Live and die murder mystery. They love a clue game. They want to figure it out. You would think. You would think these people should be real detectives in their own lives. Or not. Or not. Because nobody's very good. It's impossible. It really is. People are as confused as they might seem. Okay, I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop before I get myself in trouble. See, because I talk too much. Any tune in, I would be lying if I said I'm not excited for the attention. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. My nose would grow if I sat here and said that I was not excited for all the attention I might be getting. It would grow right through this camera. Kiss you on the forehead. That's my nose. Because I'd be a liar. So. So we'll see. Robbie's like, we need to have a watch party. And I'm like, no, the we don't. We need to be Alone in a dark room with three to four bottles of wine because they drop three episodes at once. I gotta. I gotta do Nardo one more time. Nardo, lay down. Lay down. Oh, my God. Tom Holland and Zendaya are engaged. I don't know if they got engaged at the Golden Globes or what, but. And we've seen Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco. Who knows who's next? Maybe me and Robbie. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. But engagement season is upon us. And that means we'll be back in full blown wedding season in no time. And Birdie Gray is about to be your new bestie. They've got the most stylish, affordable dresses that are perfect for any vibe. We're not new to Birdie Gray around here. We love them. 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