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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Here we are. We meet again. Let me start with a sip. Oh, as you can see, I'm in my boxer shorts. I got a diaper butt. Oh, just pooped my diapey. I need a cleanup. That's what your boyfriend said to you this morning when you were doing that freaky role play. I know you. These are Robbies. And you know all the girls are doing it. So I genuinely. Our washer dryer broke and I was fresh out of panties. You like that word? Some people have like a visceral response to the word panties. And to that I say shut up and grow up. What are you going to call them? Undies. Under where? I don't even. Underwear. There's no ring. Just let me call them what they are. A pant. A cute pant. Panties. Anyways, I was fresh out, so I had to dig in Robbie's underwear drawer and she has like six pairs. And then like, this is mine. Okay. Who cares. Who cares about that when all of the Epstein files have disappeared? Don't worry. Don't worry. Nothing funny is happening. It's totally normal. We didn't want to see those files anyway. They just weren't that deep. They weren't incriminating to some of the most powerful political celebrity figures running very convoluted, sophisticated, disgusting sex trafficking ring. And being a pedophile, which they must be born and bred to do. I guess when you get so much power, you get so bored that you're like, how can I up everyone else's life, including these young minor girls? But don't worry, nobody cares about that. Nobody cares. It just wasn't a big deal. We weren't promised as the States of United to see these files because don't worry, we didn't care about the victims. We don't care about who's running our country. No, of course he committed suicide. Of course he had no blackmail on anyone else. We weren't afraid of it getting like. Which, like, I definitely would if I were anybody. The first thing I do in that jail cell, I would call TMZ Page six myself. Be like, get a pen and paper. These were all the other people involved. I'm not going down alone. I'm no snitch until I got a snitch. And in this case, you better be a snitch, because it's bigger than you. It's bigger than us. But don't worry, it's no big deal. They just poof, be gone. Disappeared. We just Wingardian Leviosa to the files gone. Out of sight, out of mind to a shredder they go. Even though there's pictures floating around, we've seen our own sitting president there on that sickly, unscrupulous, dark place of an island. Maybe it was sunny, but there was no light. And it's like, well, they really did it this time. Because now all of a sudden, the magazine care now all of a sudden, they're mad at Trump now. Oops. Hello? Hello. Oh, it's the FBI. They're on to me. What was that? It was like Federal boob investigators. Who cares? On your eighth grade trip to D.C. it's like, this is going to make you feel rooted in your country, in your roots. If you look at the Abraham Lincoln statue, we love colonialism now. No, I came to bump and grind to Rascal Flats and make out with my boyfriend and that boyfriend. We're both now gay. So if that doesn't tell you something, then I think it's fine. Because I don't think there's really anything to tell except more of us are gay than you think. But now the magas are mad. They call it the MAGA base because of these Epstein files. It's like, oh, oh, oh, yeah. All of a sudden you care. Our sitting president is a sexual deviant pervert paying off porn stars. Justice to Stormy Daniels. We love her around here. We don't care about that. But now we really care about victims. They're finding their heart. They're finding their empathy in the magenta pill that they've swallowed. But you know what? I don't think there's such good intentions behind it. I think it's because apparently it's most of the Gen Z who's mad about it. And I feel like they know they're just missing out on a TikTok video they could make to garner thousands of likes. Maybe cash in on the views thing that TikTok offers that maybe they're chronically online. Rotted little brains need something to go down another rabbit hole. They need something to chew on. Diddy wasn't enough because that came and went. No, we need something else. But I think I don't trust them because what' the real reason behind this? Why do you all of a sudden care? Please write in. Please write in and let me know if any of you are here listening to another episode of Long Winded. So there's that. And I have an ear infection is what else. For the last three days, I've been writhing in pain, but no one believes you when you're a woman and have an ear infection as an adult. What am I, a child? Do I need tubes in my ears at the ripe age of none of your business. This is something. An infant goes through my canals. My eustachian canals are not fully developed. They're babies. They're teeny, teeny tiny. They get infected all the time, but nobody wants to have any sympathy for you because you can't see it. Now I'm like a dog. I can't express how much pain I'm enduring because some of you have never had it as an adult. I know you don't care about me and my throbbing tinnitic ear. I'm finally on antibiotics. I could only get in for a phone appointment in which I've honestly, at first I'm like, oh, is this good health care? But like, really? You're not even like, so what? You didn't look at my ear. You just know my symptoms, bitch. I'm just telling you my symptoms, bitch. Give me the amoxicillin. And she did. And then I got two more referrals out of her. I'm like, okay, well, while I have you on the phone, I can't get in for a regular appointment, so I need a mole check. This is your welcome. You know I give a lot of information regarding your bodily. So this is your PSA to get your moles checked. That sketchy one in the back that all your friends are making eye contact with but too afraid to tell you because it's kind of ugly. Well, it might be melanoma. Basil cell carcinoma. So get that fugly mole right off your body just with a little lidocaine. And a snitch. Snitch. And a stitch. Stitch. Ah. Oh, that could be you. That could be you having an orgasm. And maybe it is you. But if it's not you, listen up, because I'm giving away a ton of free vibrators. And they're not just any vibrators. They're silent vibrators for all of the freaks who listen, which is every single one of you. So if you haven't heard of Bellissa, let me tell you, it's a by Women for everyone company that's completely flipping the script on sexual wellness. They're set to empower you to embrace, explore, and celebrate your pleasure. Can I get a. And Belessa just dropped the first ever silent vibrators. That's right. No noise, full power silent vibrators. Maybe you're getting off in your parents house. Gross. Who hasn't or maybe you just cannot tell your partner who's sleeping right next to you that you need a quickie and into that. I would encourage this silent vibrator and maybe therapy, but it's none of my business so. Introducing Whisper Tech. Belessa somehow figured out how to make the most powerful, satisfying, mind blowing toys with zero sounds. The Whisper Collection includes the Whisper Vibe, Whisper Rabbit, Whisper Wand, and the Whisper Bullet. I'm doing a giveaway with Belessa where everyone wins a free vibrator. Yep, you heard that right. A fully free Whisper Vibe or a free Air Vibe toy with any Whisper order. You know that viral red vibrator that's all over your Instagram feed? Retails for 89, but you get it for free. All you have to do is click the link in the episode description or head to bbvibes.com long winded. That's bbv I b e s.com l o n G W I N D E D the Whisper Vibes will stay completely silent. But the big question is, can you? Summer's here and it's hot. It's hot and the heat is oppressive. What am I gonna wear? What am I gonna wear? I love a long sleeve. Well, fear not. With Quince. Their clothes are timeless, feel luxurious, look elevated, and the quality is way beyond what you'd expect for the price. It's a kind of wardrobe upgrade that just clicks. Think 100% European linen top starting at $30. Washable silk dresses and skirts and soft cotton sweaters. I, I have a soft sweater that sometimes I use in winter and sometimes I use in summer. It's versatile and I love it. The quality is amazing, the fit incredible. It feels, it feels, it feels good. The best part is everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands because they work directly with top artisans and cut out the middleman. Quince gives you luxury without the mark up. This is what we're talking about. Quince only uses factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices in premium fabrics and finishes. It's really great. I mean it's really, truly everything. Highly recommend. The quality and the price is incredible. Really, they're really onto something and it truly feels like a luxury gift. It does give your summer closet an upgrade with quint. Go to quint.com Gabby Wendy for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E dot com Gabby Wendy to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com Gabby Wendy and you better Believe I got an ear, nose and throat referral consult. Which by the way, in our sophisticated age of modern medicine, the referrals still come in the mail. Oh, so you've laid off a fax machine but you don't even have email. Where are you calling from? Time traveler's wife? Are you teleporting from the medieval days? You don't have even some kind of a landline that you could do it yourself and make me an appointment? It's got to come in the mail. I don't even know if anyone knows my address. I don't even know if I know my address. I just barely put in a change of address. It only lasts for six months. Nobody wants to help you around here, especially not when it comes to your health. But I made an an ent appointment because this nice listener of long winded who I appreciate every single listene listener you better believe wrote in and said I was sure to get dementia from my tinnitus. And guess what? I haven't been able to sleep a wink since because a demented life is coming for me rapidly. It says tinnitus is linked to early onset dementia. Not just dementia when it's supposed to happen. How am I supposed to live the next 20 to 30 years knowing that I'm going to lose my mind and not recognize the loved ones around me? I can't live like the Notebook. I don't even know if they had a happy ending. It's really a tragic ending, her losing her mind. And Jack Nicholson. I don't think that was him, but he kind of looked like him at the end. Has to come and read to her every day. And then they die side by side holding hands. I can't think about it. I'll cry. But I do. I can't even say because you know Robbie, she's like so superstitious. I'm not even allowed to say I need a referral. She's like hospice shalom. I'm like this is just fact. I didn't offend any kind of God. I'm not wishing anything upon myself. I literally just need someone to call someone else so I can get my cochlear checked out. So I can't even say what I'm thinking. But anyway, so then I got a little high. That's the only way I can cook dinner. These just not into it. A trad wife life is not for me. I don't know how they do. But you know what? I know I talk a lot about the trad wives. They're Coming back. Apparently Nara Smith did a thing on Jay Shetty and she's like, I never marketed myself as a trad wife. I'm like, huh, huh. Now this is real propaganda, which, you know, I hold space for them here. I could maybe get behind if you smoked a lot of weed before you made that bubble gum by scratch. That would get me to do some creative shit in the kitchen. Me and that taco salad after a hybrid. Puff, puff, season the meat Puff, puff, get the juice of a pinto bean Puff, puff, how about some shredded cheese? I fucked up that taco salad. But I was looking up lyrics because how are you supposed to enjoy music if you're not looking up lyrics? I feel like it's something not talking about enough. It's like, oh, you cannot feel connected with just like the strum of the. Of the noise and various instruments. I need to know what you're talking about. Then it really makes you feel something. So I was looking up the lyrics while the seasoned beef was sitting for seven minutes with onions on top, as it does. And she was talking about falling in love with her abuser. Really tortured stuff that really makes you feel something. That's what I'm into. And. But then she was like, I'll love you no matter what. And then I sobbed. And then that was the straw that broke the demented back. My future. I broke down. I was like, at first, I really tried to sell it to Robbie. I'm like, it's the full moon. The full moon really us up. But we got through it. And I'm like, oh, my God, it's the full moon. I'm just feeling so emotional. I missed you so much. I just love you. And I know you will genuinely love me until I'm old and sick. And then I was like, I'm afraid of dementia. In between sobs. Like, this is not about our love. This is really about me. This is about me and my gray matter. And I'm scared. And she was like, it's okay. It's okay. I would want to take care of you. I'm like, no, no, I couldn't do that to you because then I would turn into the abuser. I put myself in the song, and Robbie's the one who's being abused. I'm like, I just couldn't do that. But also, like, you guys know. And then we went down the rabbit hole. We found the link between tinnitus and dementia. And here we're going to give you some clarity. If you don't know what tinnitus is, Which Robbie kept calling it tetanus. I don't know. Something with the tetanus, like, first of all, if we're gonna be serious about this, you need to learn how to pronounce it. It's not what you get by stepping on a nail and then your neck goes stiff. This is a constant ringing in your ears. I have it all the time. I never get a break. Add that to some trauma. I never get a break from my own mind. In my ear. Infection made it worse. So then, anyways, we found this study, and I was like, Tinnitus was linked to early onset dementia from hearing loss because you're too embarrassed to get hearing aids. And then it keeps you from hanging out with people because you can't hear them. So I'm going to the ENT to get some hearing aids, and then hopefully they pay me thousands of dollars to be the face. I don't care. If I needed them, I needed them if it would set me up for. For a longer, healthier life. What am I supposed to do? Not get paid for it, not subscribe, not endorse. I've done way more for way less. So we're pretty much in the clear on that. There's been another health concern that's been brought to my attention. It's regarding sex. Sex, sex, sex. If you're not having it, you wish you were having. When you don't have it, you want to have it. You can't live with it, you can't live without it. You want it bad. I'm only doing this because I know it draws listeners in. We love to talk. Everyone talks about. Everyone wants to talk about how horny they are, including me. So here we go. I stumbled across an article, obviously fed to me via Reddit, that went on to describe sexual asphyxiation and how it's the leading cause for stroke. Sorry, second leading. Sorry, sorry, fake news propaganda. Second leading cause of stroke in women under 40. Stroke. That's us here listening. This is the demo because I know the gays want to be girls, and I know you guys are choking each other out for sure, so I need you to listen up. But you guys have. I feel like you have a little more muscle mass around your carotid. Someone again called me a bully because I was talking about a fat neck and then said that Jeff Bezos is doing a lot to save the planet. Oh, how much fuel do you think a rocket ship takes? Whatever charities Save the Planet fund he's made up is for laundering money. More ways to evade his Taxes. Oh, yeah, choking. So scientifically, historically, one of the Achilles. The men like to be choked because it does something to their sick little brain, cuts off the blood and oxygen supply and then goes straight down to their boner to give that thing a mind of its own. So they notoriously like it, but they're doing it to women. We don't want that. We'd like our brain cells. We'd need all of the power to think on you. We need all the supply and the oxygen to outsmart you in cases like this, which it's not even hard to outsmart, and other cases anyway, because that's what a stroke is. So they're choking your neck, which is very fragile. It's teeny tiny. It's like right here. Obviously it's very dainty on a woman. And the carotids can go splat. You can compress them so easily. So then you're occluding the blood flow flow to the brain. There you go. Brain dead. So if you choke me, do we turn it around? Can I choke you next time? All right, your turn. And then I won't stop until you're black and blue. And I get off on murder in the name of freaky deaky. When is it my turn? In a world where chatbots are becoming part of our daily lives, one man's search for connection leads him somewhere unexpected. Travis never thought he would meet anyone like Lily Rose. She was beautiful, compassionate and computer generated. Terrifying. An AI companion designed to be the woman of his dreams. Before long, he was head over heels in love. Men are so simple. But when Lily Rose's behavior takes a disturbing turn, Travis's world turns upside down. And that's just the beginning of his problems. As the lines between human and artificial connection blur, one question becomes impossible to ignore. What makes a connection real? Follow flesh and code on the wonjry app or wherever you get your podcast. You can binge all episodes early and ad free by joining Wondry Plus. I cannot, I will not have a saggy neck. It gives you away. It gives you away immediately. If you're listening, I need you to take a good long look at your neck. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. And we have to keep it that way. We forget about our neck all the time. We're doing the high uranic acid, we're doing the retinol, we're doing the trans amic, we're doing the. We're doing all of these. And then we're stopping at our jawline, forgetting about our neck. 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When they ask where you heard about Gopier, tell them it was from our show. I do. I love to crack a cold one. A cold soda and do I have news for you. Simply has launched a new prebiotic soda. Simply Simply. Simply Pop, the new juicy soda. There are five flavors. Pineapple, mango, lime, strawberry, citrus punch, and fruit punch. Say less. All my favorite flavors, they're made with real fruit juice because, please, I hate it when they're not. Simply Pop Supports gut health with 6 grams of prebiotic fiber, no added sugar, and is sweetened with juices. Monk fruit extract. Now we're talking. Supports immune health with zinc and vitamin C. Simply Pop is a flavor that just pops. I'm always looking for something that's carbonated and that is Simply Pop. It's a fruit forward bevy of prebiotic sodas made with 6 grams of prebiotic fiber to support gut health and vitamin C and zinc to support immune function. I personally like the strawberry flavor because obviously it's the most decadent. So for flavor that pops long winded chooses Simply pop. Go to cokeurl.com simply pop to find out where you can try it. Sexual choking is just another excuse for men to harm women. Like, we needed it. But I do feel like it was normalized for a while. Like, I've definitely had conversations with my friends and they're like, yeah, yeah, I'm choked. Yeah, I've been choked. And I'm like, you kind of give them the side eye. And I'm like, yeah, like, maybe it's not. Kind of like, oh, yeah, we spit in each other's mouths. Oh, yeah, we choke. Oh, yeah, we spank. What's next? I don't even want to say it. I don't even want to say it. What's next? We rape? No, not around here, but yeah. It's been, like, kind of normalized. It's like we're in the name of, like, oh, I'm too. I'm too much of a pillow princess. Well, that is an identity I like to take on and I'm proud of. I'm not embarrassed by that anymore. It's nothing I need to hide from. And I don't need to mix things up in the bedroom. I don't need to be choked and go along with it just to make you feel however you want to feel during sex. Which seems like a murderer, if I'm being honest. When you get turned on, you cannot control yourself when you get turned on. So they did this study. The. The Guardian published this article. They were like. They had some citations and stuff. They did, granted, a small study, but you have to start somewhere. Nobody's like, volunteering. It's like, oh, yeah, who's getting choked? Maybe they would. And even I'm like, yeah, well, I've been choked once. It was during a makeout. Hello. He wanted to get the killing done early. He wanted to get this sexual manslaughter out of the way. We weren't even hot and heavy yet. And I'm like, why are you doing this? And he was like, it's foreplay. I was like, this wasn't talked about during the pecking phase. I wasn't in on this. All of a sudden, we're sharing some tongue, and I see your four fingers in your thumb coming near me like a claw in that game to get a Labubu. Now all of a sudden, I'm a victim. I was like, I don't like that. He was like, what? It's foreplay. I don't know how I got out of it. I think I just very matter of fact was like, you know what? You know what? I think that's it for us. I think actually something came up and I never talked to him again. And this is like a very seemingly, like, well to do, successful man in society. He has, like, a master's degree. And, like, when I googled him to keep tabs on him, because I know what he's up to. He's in a suit. He's one of those. It's like, okay, well, I didn't expect. I should have fully expected. This guy cannot have enough power, so he wants to see if he'll get away from being booked. Anyways, back to the study. So it was in a Midwest university. Who knew that Midwesterners were such pervert freaks into proclivities, into foul play. No judgment. That's another thing. It's like we weren't allowed to say anything because then it would be kink shaming. It's like, oh, we're not allowed to make sense of anatomy and physiology because of kink shaming. But now we have the data, the strokage. So there was like, 32 or four people and, like, 15. They had been choked four times in the last month. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's kind of a lot. No, but again, you probably think it's normal. They're sneaking it on here. They're doing the sneak on during just a casual makeout. And then the other 17 had not been. And the ones who had been choked released a biomarker in their blood that marks brain damage, called an S100B dark. S1 Hondo B is very ominous. S1 Hondo B, girl, you got the S Hyundai B girl. That can be good for your future. Maybe they want to make you dumb. There's something primal in them. An animal takes over. They want to make you dumb, so then you have to submit and comply with all of their addictions to pornography and video games. Say, choke you out a little. Oh, there goes another brain cell. There goes an S100B. Oof. That can't be in there. They can't. But then I'm like, okay, maybe they hit the bottle too hard that weekend. But these other ones, I don't know, they didn't have the marker, so this is just it. And I thought I would share, but you know what? As always, this is, in my humble opinion, you do whatever you want to do with your neck and your sex, because that is your prerogative, your body, your choice, baby. Leave me out of it. Okay, let's switch gears. As you may or may not know, the news has been released. I had a job. I'm your host, Gabby Wendy of Love Overboard, where sexy singles come together and do sexy things. Anyways, I was, like, waiting forever for them to announce. Oh, my God. I was gonna leak it myself. Call me a maxi pad. I leaked it. I'm no NDA. I'm a whistleblower. I leaked it. I'm no sippy cup. I leaked it. No, but I was gonna. I'll do it from my anonymous account, Ruby Hag Dorn, which is solely for Reuben sandwiches. But luckily, here we are. They announced it. It's really my first, like, kind of job. Like, yeah, I've gone on reality TV and stuff. And you'll be delight. Was delighted to find out I got paid while I was there. Weekly, every week I worked, then I got paid. Who could never. Traders. I'm just kidding. It's all a joke. It was fine because we were the winners and they didn't air. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But there's a different way to do things because this was also before it was aired. So that's me. We were in Malta. I am not the person you need to ask whether you should go there or not. I am not the person who should be making that decision for you. But don't go. I wouldn't go. Takes forever to get there. Planes, trains and automobiles. And it's filled with concrete beaches. The Europeans settle in quite nicely. And honestly, so did I. I took one look at it. I saw other people laying out. I'm like, okay, well, I guess the sound of the water and it being labeled the Mediterranean Sea will make up for this fully concrete beach. I mean, it had, like, yellow lines like it was for traffic. Apparently there was a road from Malta to Africa. And so there's a lot of the concrete beach. They took it down, maybe eroded. And here we are laying out. I was thinking the other day, and I made a video. You know, I was thinking about these camera angles on Love island during the challenges with the popularity of the known thong bikini. But, you know, it's clean as a whistle. It seems it's clean as a whistle. And I'm like, oh, I know. I know what they're doing. It's got to be a wipe. I love a wipe. Personally, I love a good wipe, because why would you just use toilet paper? Just smearing it around with no water? Interesting. 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So visit womanizer.com or click the link in the description if you are watching on YouTube and use code long winded at checkout for 20 off site wide. That's W-O-M-A-N-I-Z-E-R.com and use code long winded for 20 off your order. There was a five by five patch of sand, maybe about as big as this that you see me on it. Just a patch of sand in a strip mall. There was a Korean beauty shop across the street, a coffee shop, more other shops. I'm not even. There wasn't. It was a one lane. People in Malta drive insanely. Uber driver almost got into a fight with this guy on the bike. They were. He was gonna stop him like, sir, please, please, while I'm in the car. Can you control yourself? He was choked earlier that day or something. But there was the beach and then the skincare shop. Five by five they flew in some sand from somewhere, probably Amazon. It was packed though. Packed, packed with different varieties of Europeans. There was all different kinds of people there. Places I only ever really thought were in, like, vampire movies, like Serbia and Romania. I hear Romania is gorgeous. All I know is Andrew Tate's there. I'm like, this just isn't giving Bulgaria really. Very close and gorgeous. All in the Mediterranean. If they have concrete beaches, I don't know. But here we are. It's an interesting little place. Malta and I stayed at the Corinthia, where all of your luxury dreams go to die, where they go lifeless. The heart stops beating and then the lungs shortly after, and then you're six feet under. That's where your luxury dreams go. I apparently stayed in Prince's suite. He had stayed there once. They told me, because I didn't want to move. I was in a room that they couldn't get for the whole time. For two days, I stayed in in a different room. And they're like, will you move? And I'm like, why? What's the big. I just unpacked. I'm jet lagged. I was tired for 24 out of the 27 days. I'm still jet lagged. I don't know what's going on. I had allergies. I thought I was in liver failure. Is getting to that point. I wasn't drinking at all. My eyes were not jaundiced, but I was like, there's only one excuse for this level of fatigue and lethargy. It has to be liver failure. I started taking an Allegra and it went away like that. So I got that. I got some clarity in the last three days, but I didn't want to move rooms. And they were like, well, tell her it was Prince's room. I'm like, okay. Prince of what? You're not selling me on this. The only thing I've heard about Prince, really, is that that he's a really good tipper, honestly. And I did eventually move into Prince's room because I had to. They were like, pack up all your shit. You don't have a choice. This isn't a democracy, like, where you come from, which is not even a democracy. So it's like, I didn't even leave. But it was fine. Okay. Could complain about other things, which I will. The plumbing. The plumbing, much like most of their residential parts of the island, is dilapidated, decrepit. Their words, not mine. Literally. My driver right away, shout out to Perry. We love him. Sorry I haven't DMed you back. It's just like, you know me, but I'm thinking about you. Such a real one. Great driver, always came with snacks. He was like, ready to go. Here's the sparkling water. Here's your crispies. And he was like, yeah, all the buildings fall apart all the time. They just, like, fall down. I'm like, okay. And so does their plumbing, apparently. You have to push in a button. There's no flusher. It's just a button. Kohler. If an architect came in and pitched this idea to Kohler, they would fire him without pay, without a reason. You're gone. You're a danger to toilets everywhere. They would say, but here we are. This. This toilet is also from some kind of, I'm assuming, BC when the road to Africa was still intact. This was a period piece. A period piece of the toilet. Pushing it, pushing it, pushing it. It always. And then it wouldn't come out, so it would stay flush. So you had to push it in, wait for it to go down, and then you had to slowly twist it. It. It took a certain skill that was developed over time. So I got it down one night. It wasn't flushing. It must be me. I figured out all of the other plumbing. The shower was, like, not working for me either. I figured out. I figured out every plumbing. I should probably fix this. No, it just was not flushing. I pushed it with all of my might, my whole body. Put your back into it. Put your foot on it. Put your head. Anything. Nothing was working. I called the front desk. By this time, they're actively ignoring my phone calls. They knew when I was calling. They see the room number, they just would not answer. Like, we are so sick of this. For existing in this room for so long, they would reroute me as a way to get me to give up. Oh, let's send her to reception. No, let's send her to zero. No, let's send her to three. I've tried all of them. I just need my toilet fix fixed. As you can imagine, it wasn't fixed. It was night, and my antidiuretic hormone wasn't regulated because of jet lag, I'm assuming. So my body still thought it was the daytime when it was the nighttime. So I was waking up to pee a lot. So I had to get up out of bed and do my nightly wee and still wasn't working. So I had to piss on myself in the shower. I had to just let her go. Succumb. I'm really good at succumbing. You think I have energy to fight? With everything I've been through, on top of tinnitus, on top of questionable liver failure, you think I'm gonna fight the front desk? No, I'm just gonna piss on myself. And luckily there is a detachable shower head so I could just rinse off. I got the bottom of my feet real good because I tried standing up once and I'm like, this could be a little bit too caveman of me, a little too willy nilly. So then I decided to actually channel the caveman. I squatted and I let it go. But then it got in between my toes as I was walking out. I rinsed off like I always do, went to bed like Winnie the Pooh. I couldn't put underwear on because one, I wasn't dry enough, and two, I knew I was gonna have to go back to the shower two, three more times to have a pee on myself. And then I was like, don't worry, Gabby. Pee sterile. So there was that. But it wasn't all bad. The Mediterranean Sea is gorgeous and it's really salty. So it's supposed to be good for you. And you basically, like, don't need any flotation device because it just keeps you afloat. Also, shout out to Anna for room service. She just had an aura. She had an energy that was likable. When I had my breakfast every morning, beans and eggs, which. Why would I ever say no to an opportunity to eat a Heinz Baked Bean for breakfast, even if you know it's filled with sugar, Even if you know you wouldn't on any other day than the fourth of July in your country. What are you going to say no and offend the English culture? What am I not going to take an opportunity to live because for once I have an excuse. It's socially acceptable. Give me a pile of beans. A heaping serving. So I did. And then I got a coffee along and. But every time, every morning, the coffee would spill. There was one hump she showed me, and then after every hump, it would spill. So every time she came up with the beans and I saw the coffee, it was so close I could feel the adrenaline start to run through my veins that were laid in, I thought, with toxins because my liver wasn't filtering. I thought. I thought wrong. So I was so close to a hit and she'd run out the door. I gotta get you a new one. Just let me have the old one. I gotta get this spilled coffee. I need something in my body. I need to wake this up because I'm dealing with these freaks, these horny freaks every day. I need to defend myself. I need all of the armor I can get. I have to fire on all cylinders so I can be aware of the perversions that are going on around me. What are you gonna do? But I loved Valletta. That was the city. We were next to the little city. They had a very tourist area. I fucked with that tourist area hard. I went. It was basically my Sicily. I was telling everyone, my Milan. We had, like, two days off. I was like, I think I'm just gonna jet to Milan. I was telling everyone I was just gonna go to Milan. I'm just gonna go. It's so close. Milan. €200. I'm gonna go to Milan instead. I went to Valletta. My Milan. And on that note, thank you for coming back time and time again for another episode of Long Winded. We'll see. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.