← Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Erika Kirk and Rob Reiner
00:54:55
Happy New Year!! Leave those resolutions in 2025.
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- [00:00]
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Podcast Host
Like hello hello hello Hello. Okay, I feel like I haven't been here in a while. I missed you guys kinda. Just kidding. It was a good break. I wonder. I just wonder. You know about lots of things, but mainly a generalized workload. But I'm happy to be back. I made myself a a pour over. You know what? I know what I sound. I sound pretentious. I sound full of myself. I sound better than you. But I'm not. When you're looking on the Reddit threads, it's like pour over. So difficult. There's so many rules. You'll never be able. You're literally pouring hot water on coffee. That's all it is. It's not an artistry. Maybe for some people who don't have time for anything else. I like five to seven minutes of meditation in the morning. And by meditation I mean pouring the water slow. The first one, and then you watch it fart. It's like the carbon dioxide. You'll see bubbles releasing. Because it's quite easy on your stomach, the pour, it's quite smooth. And if you have chronic stress like me that manifests in the gut of your belly, you need a low acid coffee. But this is actually smoother than the low acid coffee I would make in this pressing machine because I had to start doing a pour over because of the bnb. I was saying that in Toronto only had an espresso. Nah, espresso. Talking about talking about the biggest scam of I don't know the 2000s. Hey, what's not going to last until next decade? Hey, what's a fad that's not going to last in the next couple years? Nespresso. I hope it's already going down. We know what you're doing. You're locking us in. So we can only buy your coffee. We can't even get it on Amazon because it's not the same quality. So you have to find a Nordstrom close by. You can't even send an Uber messenger. You have to get in your car and drive. Find the huge Nespresso store with George Clooney's face all over it to remind you you will never be a man and you're never gonna get an advertisement at the age of 60. Something for coffee. So you can recycle your old ones. Who has the time to bring in the old tins and take them to Nordstrom just to get new ones, which are a million dollars, but you're tied to them. So I had to think about a different option. And pour over was cheap on Amazon. And I tried it, and it's delicious. And it's not hard. It's not hard. And it's just not hard. Here's my mug. Live with John Mulaney. Ravi did that show. It was great. It was iconic. Let me take a sip. And obviously I have a water lure. And so we shall double start out with felice cumpliano's auti. Felice cumpliano's. A tee. That's to me. And prospero on yo e. Happy new year. The fireworks blaze. The NBC live with andy cohen. And the other one, who's also gay. Forget his name from cnn. He did the 60 minutes. H, I don't know. Yeah, I'm going by the east coast new year, so hopefully I'll be in bed by nine. It's a new year. Where does time go, you know? Okay. Birds. Cold in here. I have to. I have to wait three more minutes so then I can cuss freely and YouTube won't, like, flag my video. So I don't know where we came back from, but we came back from somewhere, maybe Toronto. And the pod studio was in disarray. It was dilapidated. It looked ravaged. No, that's hungry. What do you ram? I don't know. It looked vandalized because of our maintenance man. I won't say his name, but I really want to. And he is the kind of maintenance man to turn over the couches, truck dirt and everywhere, move my expensive camera equipment. I'm like, Hello. But this is what they are. It's like Robbie and I kind of. We're like, ah, should we buy a house? We're just not ready yet. Plus, you have to find a maintenance man. And this is your pick of the litter. They don't get any better than this. They're all gonna tear your shit up. My Broncos cheer poster. What's on his side? What do you have no respect for half naked women? What do you have no respect for American heroes? I was the first and maybe only woman to win the Pop Warner something something award in the. And you're gonna put her poster on the floor all crooked? Would you put it on the floor so you can pull out your ding a ling? That's you, maintenance man. All the doors were open. My curtains also were on the floor, not where they were supposed to be. And then this was. This is you making the place a mess. So I have to clean it up and clean up whatever bodily fluid God knows what with one of those cordless vacuum cleaners that barely. We need a new filter. We just need a new filter. I was lucky to get up some of the leaves that he checked in. I was lucky to suck up some of the disease that he left. Not to me. Not, not. Not to us. This is. This is a personal offense against us. We were attacked. It's not general, but it's like, this is what they are. And then we'd have to hire one if we bought a house. And who knows, maybe he's the best one out there. And then we'd have to deal with that, you know? So it's like tomato, potato, in for a penny, out for a pound. That's what my friend Liz always says. It makes no sense, but whatever, you know, I think it's come out in the wash. It's like everything you do, it's just gonna, like, come out. It's like, yeah, we're, you know, we're suffering here, but we're also gonna suffer there. And that is the theme of life, is suffering. Okay, we're good.
- [07:51]
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- [07:53]
Podcast Host
Stay for the fun.
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- [08:21]
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- [08:48]
Podcast Host
So this week, in honor of the New Year, I did want to bring up something important. New Year's resolutions. I think we should all be better around here. I think we should go to church and study the Bible. Um, not obviously. I think we should smoke more weed. Kill your brain cells. Forget everything that comes to pass between your ears. Spend all of your money. Spend all of your income on skincare, even the kind you don't like. That's gonna break your face out. Who cares? Be a bigger bitch or C u n T If it calls, I'm still afraid to say. Cause I don't want my video to be taken down. Ignore texts for a minimum of three days, emails for five, and calls to your accountant forever. You don't need to call him. What are you going to get flagged? What is that? The IRS doesn't have anything personal with you. Yes, they do. But do not call your accountant. It's not going to be good for you. You're going to be scared and vulnerable and they're going to make you feel dumb because you're a woman and you have no idea what you're doing with your money. Eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream every other night. Indulge. We only live once. Coronaries don't care. They can take it. You better clock in and clock the fuck out with a long lunch break. Make people wonder where you are. She's been at the subway for an hour and a half. There's no way toasting of that seven grain bread is taking 45 minutes. Oh, yes, it is, sir. And I need nourishment to get back to this shit bureaucratic job that I hate on a full belly of the chicken breast. And you better gossip more. Now that we've set our resolutions, we actually kind of are blessed with a couple weeks of headlines and pop culture. So lucky us. So, I mean, unless you guys are living under a rock, which maybe you are. You are. Erica Kirk has been, you know, making headlines and that gives us something to talk about or else I'd be sitting here with my big thumb up my ass and by big, I don't just mean big, but I mean big with a sharp nail. Scritchy, scritchy, scritchy, right up my ass with you for an hour. So let's start from the beginning of Erica Kirk. When did she pop up on the scene besides Summer House and winning Miss Arizona and then going to Miss Universe and like becoming BFFs with Donald Trump. But besides that. So now Erica Kirk is resurfacing as the wife of the late Charlie Kirk who was brutally assassinated. So the beginning of her second coming is, you know, she, we, we all saw the photo of her posted on Instagram holding Charlie Kirk's dead, cold rigamordi embalmed gray hand. She put it on Instagram and she collabed with TP USA to get more views. I'm sure she has access to both accounts, but she made sure, obviously, like a good woman, that the photo was taken from her good side, the back of her head with four rows of extensions. And I will not comment on this date of them. That's none of my business. You won't get me here. You're not going to get me. And I'm not implying anything, believe me, for once. She's more. She, she's in mourning. Okay? I'm not going to say anything about her four rows, but the picture was peculiar and it did, it did get a lot of likes. It works. But reaching in to the casket to hold a lifeless hand and putting that photo on Instagram, we're not going to say anything right now because people grieve in different ways. This is going to a thing. So believe you me, she's a business woman and a social media marketer. Okay? How can she get more attention? She needs it. She, she obviously needs a lot of love right now. She just lost her one and only, you know, and she could be a publicist at heart and she's just like doing, you know, what's best for her to get her name out there. I don't know if she's taking any meetings, but I think this is pretty genius, for better or for worse. But honestly, I do think if her one pitch is to collab post with TP usa, I'd have to say no. I'd have to say no. How do we pivot to something else? Or if we can't, you know what? I just might have to do it. So TP USA is a turning point. That was Charlie Kirk's organization, which she earned, you know, like millions of dollars and basically got the Young Republican vote to vote for Donald Trump. Anyways, speaking of publicists, my big shout out to my publicist, Alex Shack, who got us in to the Chateau for my birthday. Cue Audrey Hobert. And if you're listening, you're definitely invited. There's. There's. We're gonna pull up a chair for you. No worries. There's enough room. I know you like it there. I know you like to watch in the corner. You can watch us. You don't have to sit. You can sit in the corner. But back to Erica Kirk. Remember, grieving is not linear. It does not go in a straight line. In some cases, it is a photo with lifeless fingers in a media tour. It can be a bit circular. You can say, the media tour goes like this. Like this. Because you're always saying the same thing in a circle. It looks different to everybody. Okay, who's judging around here? Not me. For some grieving people, you can't even get out of bed to brush your teeth or wash the cracks of your puss. Definitely not under your fingernails. I can't even do that alive. You can't even feed the dog. He's looking cachectic, poor puppy. This is what happens when you have a huge hole in your heart. You can barely breathe. You think you're gonna die. What's that thing? There's a medical term that's called fuck. I gotta look it up. That you die from heartbreak when your loved one dies. I can't even talk about it, but that could happen to me. But for some, grieving is, you know, huge conventions where you run your hair through the vice, where you run your fingers through the vice president's hair. And I'm sure J.D. vance's hair transplant reminds one of their dead husbands, their dead beloved. Oh, this is gonna bring him back. If I pull. If I pull his hair, grab a lock and maybe put it on a doll. This is for me. It reminds me of him. We shall do it on stage for all to see. Those bedeviled blue eyes and wandering paws are a way of bargaining. This is a stage of grief, and there's no judgment. We shall pass on a widow. That's what we were all thinking at this point in time, anyway. And then we have another stage of grief. It's called shopping. And I don't blame her. Nothing would bring a warmth to my cold heart in a moment of despair like spending my dead husband's money. May he rest in peace, this is what he would want. His money is my money. Dead or alive, cold or warm, gray or light pink, six feet above or Six feet under. I am the beneficiary, she says, and have access to all his accounts. And now he doesn't have to pay car insurance. So I shall spend his premium at temu. More bang for the state farm buck. Let's take a sip. Coffee's getting cold. Robbie better not smoke my last cigarette. She's so dead to me for that. But as I've said before, retail therapy is real. But TEMU may induce increased depression. I am going to warn you, this is Erica Kirk entering the anger phase, or the inducing others anger phase with abject outfit choices. Ri Xian's brethren, Timu. A fresh new wardrobe where Taylor Swift meets Hillary Clinton. I'd say she's clad. She's clad in a tight leather skinny pant, a la Taylor Swift. However, Taylor would cut the skinny pant, make it into a medium length short, pair it with an orangish red leather jacket to watch your fiance lose another football game. Go Broncos. Excuse me. Now that the Broncos are doing good, I'm a loud and proud fan. I can't believe that this has never happened to me. We lost all. We brutally lost all five seasons that we were on. And you know what I pushed to my. I said to my agents, I would love to be in a Super bowl commercial. And they said, they're already booked. Dream on. Excuse me. I was a Broncos cheerleader for five years, and they could be going to the Super Bowl. So if you're listening, please, anybody, anybody, anybody, please pitch me. I could put my champs back home, baby. Go Broncos. Third down. But instead of the Taylor Swift leather pants, she pairs her leather pants with her husband's T shirt emblazoned Freedom Free speech, an homage to him. She's trying to escape the Venn diagram of super pop singer billionaire with notable bad fashion and the first lesbian lady in order to channel Jackie O. Get your own personality. Get your own thing. Because Jackie O decided to wear her Chanel, which was blood soaked from her husband's assassination, and she wore it hours later to be photographed. And Erica is wearing this shirt kind of in the same way. And she wears his necklace with the cross on it that he was wearing, Charlie was wearing when he was assassinated. Also blood soaked, but it's not a Chanel, so it's missing the mark. Erica, you will never be Jackie O. Maybe Jackie. Oh, hell no. But you can't. We don't. None of us can. We just don't have the class or the poise or the money to be able to afford a Chanel. Maybe a Chanel bag maybe if you're really lucky and you save up for years. But a Chanel suit that you're gonna wear once, we just can't do it. And you can't either. But she continues Erica with a plethora of high waisted paint suits donned with sparkles. An extremely special stark white one in which she wore to her husband's funeral. You know, which I have. It is notable and we all know that stark sparkly white is the color of sorrow. It's the color of grieving, it's the color of pain. We don't wear it on our wedding days, our happiest days of the life and earth. We wear it to the funeral. Thanks baby. She says to the heavens above or the hell below. It's not for me to decide. I am not God. Jesus. Thanks baby. I decided to wear white to your memorial and spend the TP USA checking account on fireworks. You guys probably saw that. There was like fireworks everywhere. There's a light show. This is what you would have wanted, Charlie. A celebration of life, of your short lived life that didn't end in a brutal assassination. And I shall don long extensions cut straight from Hillary Clinton's pixie cut. So you see, so you see Taylor Swift, Hillary Clinton. And then the Venn diagram is Erica Kirk. Oh, I think I need a heater down here. My headlights. I mean in her next, in her maybe fourth stage of grief, she immediately takes over the CEO position of TP USA before Charlie enters Rigamordi assuming more responsibility and chomping at the bit to earn a title. A CEO, a cfo, a C, O, O. As long as it gaps lock. I don't care. Baby, maybe an sec. Give it to me. These letters are healing of the hole left in your heart like the one in your husband's neck. She is grieving. This is what the acceptance stage looks like. It's different for everybody. Don't be a frigid bitch. She got there in half a second. For she is enlightened. She's spiritually above everyone. All of this. She knows what matters. She knows we're all going to die. She's above it, you know, that's how she got over. So the stages of grieving again are not linear. They look different to everybody. She's quite enlightened. So you know it's going to be different for her. She's going to reach to the top faster. She's accepted her husband's death in which she vowed to love him forever. Her one and only. And that looks like inviting Nicki Minaj on stage to perform at the TP USA Four Day Summit with inspiration taken from a WWE match. Why do we need four days for anything? Four days for anything. Four days for a summit. What the fuck is a summit? If I ever get an invite and the title ends in summit. Absolutely not. If I ever get an invite. Absolutely. If I ever get an in. Absolutely not. I just can't do it. So the Advent Mickey Lewinsky shuts on stage in front of however many thousands of people who hold Christian values. And she sings. She sings to them. Holy and endearingly so. Nikki. Nikki serenades them with a special. With a special holy song. And it goes like this. Hold on. I have it written down.
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- [24:35]
Podcast Host
Awake up.
- [24:38]
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- [24:55]
Podcast Host
So what are you waiting for?
- [24:57]
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- [25:09]
Podcast Host
It goes like this. She starts shitted on man I just shit it on them. Shit it on them. Put your number twos in the air if you did it on them Shit it on them Man I just shit it on them Put your number twos in the air if you did it on all these bitches is my sons and I'm gonna go and get some bibs for a couple formulas Little pretty lids on them if I had a dick I would pull it out and piss on and that's her song, that's her song. To these Christian abiding, family value loving crowd of the demo, the demographic of Turning Point usa. There's a reason they brought her on stage. And let's be clear, I'm not on on. I think, you know, I still think those are profound lyrics and I would still consider myself a barb. The Christians, you know, they love this kind of lyricism and the message it sends. They sway to the melody with tears coming down their face Shitted on em. Their hands rise and they're singing on them I did it on em Put your number twos in the air Take out your dick and piss on em. Put your number twos in the air if you did it on em as their hands are raised, both hands feeling the Nicki Minaj Spirit come inside of them. They hold up two fingers, but not in the normal peace sign way. In the way sports fanatics put up their thumb and pointer finger like this. Because they all live by the Bible and games grown men play. This is how they hold up their number twos, not like bunny ears. They count from their thumb, 1, 2. Because these are how the sportsmen do. These are how the sportsmen do, which they look up to. All they care about is the football and the baseball. And these games include, but are not limited to the football, the baseball, the hockey, the cfl, maybe in Canada, maybe a lacrosse, maybe a URL, maybe a ping pong, especially celebrity poker, curling, probably bowling and fencing. I thy shalt. Wait, what did I say next? This is them. This is them. I thy shalt obviate dick from trousers and golden spray on thou. That's their hymn, Corinthians 16:1. And this verse is crocheted on their pillows. They're sold online, so you can whatever, whatever it's called crochet. Pin something yourself. And they come in stickers that you can stick on your wall over your mantle just to. Just to remind you who you are, you God fearing man and woman. Nicki Minaj sold out. Who cares? Who doesn't? Erica Turkey Kirky probably just gave her a million of her new $10 million. And it's no big. It's a write off, okay? Nicki Minaj did delete her Instagram due to public outcry as a now a proud Republican, but who cares? She's gonna come back like nothing even happened, okay? And this is just grieving. This is just grieving. She did a favor for Erica Kirk, her grieving friend, because she is in the depressed phase and she needed a pick me up. She didn't go for a pick me up like a matcha or an American spirit. She didn't go for a sweet treat like the golden brownie that you had one time in Fort Collins. And you can't stop thinking about because it's like light on the outside and something delicious on the inside that makes your tongue water when you start to think about it. My mouth is wet. But her sweet treat, she needed a live performance of truffle butter. Talk about a sweet treat. Have we forgotten about truffle butter? It pairs delicious with a fresh loaf of sourdough rising from your pussy. But of course, this only happens on special occasions like a TP USA Four Days summit. Like birthdays, maybe Christmas. So I know yours is rising right now. It's in full effect. You Better get that die fluke in and just start with two. Don't even start with one. You know, it's like she's just grieving in a different way than we're used to. It's. It's like she just knows that she has to get off her ass. It's not just about making money off her dead husband's back. It's about honoring him. And she knows this. And that's why this summit had a replica of the tent in which Charlie Kirk was assassinated under. So his followers, his. His constituents could take pictures under it and remember him and remember a time in history. It's not sorted at all. It's not creepy. It's not dark special. It's deeply meaningful to pay your respects. And it's not even for a post on your Instagram story in which you're. It's gonna get, like, 10 views because you maybe have, like, 2,000 fake followers, but it's. It's not for them. It's for you. And then the summit went on. You know, to have a VR station where you could relive the assassination under this tent with goggles on and everything, it feels real. Virtual reality. Okay, step up. Next in line. Here you go. Here, your goggles, they're a little heavy. I'm sorry. You might have to hold them up if they don't fit you with your hands, but it's okay. You don't really need your hands because. Because you're gonna die. Okay. And three, two, one. Play dead. No, stay still, Stay still. Don't move. Just like that. Don't move quite yet. Let's make sure my flash is on. Okay, Gotcha. Okay, this is gonna. This is gonna look really good. You should try and collab with TP usa. It's just. It's just sweet. And it's paying homage to her husband, which she seems to care so much about, you know, given all the grieving she's doing, like, she's really doing the best she can to remember him. And, you know, this is. She can't help it. Like I said, she has a publicist brain. So this is kind of. This is kind of how they think they. They could be. They could be really different than. Than the people they've done research and data on and the typical grieving processes, you know? But before you participate, before you get in line for the VR exercise, you do have to buy Charlie Kirk Memorial Merch. You would probably want to wear it in the P picture so you could kind of post both together so people really Know who you are, really know who you know you're proud to be. It's a must. It's a soft cotton and serves as a great bedtime tea to protect you in your sleep. I wouldn't say you're calling in any afterlife that was brutally murdered. No, no, no, I wouldn't say that. I say it's a light. I'd actually say that. Quite opposite, actually. Quite say the opposite. And, you know, she has also been on many Republican media outlets because it's her duty, it's her duty in the grieving phase to sell her husband's book. The proceeds shall go straight to him. She has an international bank with Jesus. And it's. And she's transferring money up to him every couple days or so because it's too much to transfer at once. Months. It's kind of like a Swiss bank where there's no rules, there's no taxes, you don't have to pay anything on. I don't quite know how withdrawal works, but it doesn't matter. You know, it's safe with him. She had to wrap it to her body. She had to wrap each to her body like this. Like loads and loads. Tie it, tie it, tie it, tie it, tie it, tie it, tie it. And, you know, take Bezos, what do you call that, spaceship up to heaven, and deliver her money and come back. But I think they do have, like. I think they have, like a bank up there now, so she should be able to withdraw. But you know what? She's not thinking of all of this right now because she's just thinking about, you know, her duty in this grieving process, You know, and how can we blame a woman? She's. She's doing. She's really sticking up for herself. She's doing all of these tours. She's talking to everyone she can. She recently went on Barry Weiss's show, who is a. An interesting person, as you know. She stands, Barry. And we've all seen the Stop meme, the Erica Kirk stop meme. Barry Weiss asks, like, well, how do you feel? Or what would you say to all these people, Candace Owens, peddling conspir theories about how your husband died and all. She. She contorts her face in a way I haven't really seen. It's like she almost like hulks out or like the substance. Like she slowly starts to change her face and then she says, stop. And I thought she was talking to the interviewer. I thought she was telling the interviewer to stop asking her questions. And I was like, this is not how you do it as an interviewee. This publicist needs a publicist, because don't they prepare you for questions? And she could have really rested on our laurels and been like, this is my husband. I would know most about what's going on. You know, it's incredibly inappropriate because he just died. Whatever. It's like as. As, you know, a victim. Like, you can kind of lean into that and just talk about, like, everyone loves a victim, but at this point, she's kind of like. She's not looking like it. But you know what? It's. It's a process of grieving. Like I said, circular. It's not linear. So get off her back. Okay, next we're gonna get into the tragedy of. Of the Reiners of Rob and Michelle Reiner. I mean, ever since I feel like I heard of him and his. I didn't know him by name, but obviously he's. He's directed, like, a ton of blockbusters, and it's, you know, very revered in his career. But ever since I heard of it, I swear to God, I'm seeing him in every movie. He's making cameos in every movie I watch. We were. We, like, people are like, have you seen Wolf of Wall Street? Have you seen. Whatever? It's like, I don't want to watch men just, like, abuse. Like, women. I swear, there was a scene where this, like, stewardess was basically getting raped, like, doing a bunch of drugs. But of course, it's like, dudes, like. Like, top three favorite movie ever. Even though it's three hours long with narration, so we don't have to use our brains in the same scene over and over. But besides that, it took us five days to get through. Rob Reiner is an amazing actor, and, you know, he's obviously a famed director. And, you know, they were. They were not only murdered, but had their throats slit by their son. So. And I don't know, as we. We all know this by now, maybe, unless the only media you consume is my podcast. And to that, I'd say thank you and no need to expand your horizons, really, for I am the rightest opinion you will ever hear. So please subscribe to my YouTube. Come back again and again. But it's like whatever the thriller the sun saw or scary video on Discord while being an addicted incel. You know, he put this into practice personally, which, like, I had a scary dream about this last night. It was like, knives versus Guns. Because, like, thinking about this, I'd rather be shot than stabbed. And I made the mistake of telling someone that who had been shot. And he's like, well, being shot hurts too. And I'm like, touche. But I don't know. Honestly, I'd rather be neither and have no holes in my body, but my God given ones. And those are my belly button piercing and my nipple piercing. God gave me those holes and rings to go in it at. At some time. But then he also took them out. And by he, I mean Robbie when she ripped out my nipple ring with a little holy sweater. But it had to go anyway. But you know, if gun to my head, V knife to my head, I would choose gun. Gun to the head. Like, I feel like it just, it happens faster and there's less time to anticipate what's gonna happen. So yeah, I just like, I think we all hope everything happens quick. Like when it comes to the time that you know we're all gonna do it. But when it comes to that time, it's like, you know, if a knife comes at you, it takes so much time for your killer's shoulder to elbows to wrist. And then to execute the st. You know what's coming. I don't know. Finger on the trigger is just like one little. So it's like, come on, don't make me suffer. Just tech9 me down. Which am I gonna have to bleep this? I was like, I was like obviously googling. Obviously googling types of guns. I'm like, there's this one Megan Thee Stallion song with City Girls on it. And I know she references a gun and it was a tech. And then I googled it and is a tech 9. And then I'm like, you're kidding me. My favor band is named after a gun. Tech 9. Oh, Ariola. That sure fell off her shoulders. Oh Ariola. That shirt fell off her shoulders. Oh, Ariola. I mean, kind of genius, but you know those days of, of hip hop and R B music, I feel like over. I was listening to the old Outkast album last night. I'm like, ugh, this is. Is so good. Where is the music like this anymore? You know.
- [41:04]
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I mean, how do you even know how to slit someone's throat? Do you have to practice? Do you have to practice before practice makes perfect? You have to practice the pressure it takes on, like, an orange or something. That's what we used to do in nursing school. We'd practice IVs on oranges, like, and you try out different knives on maybe different oranges, or you just, like, take the chances. I feel like it does take practice to do it in one fell swoop. And I don't know, I feel like we. Honestly, the. The only things I hear are always the same thing. It's like, seven new striking details about Nick Reiner. And it's all the same. We've heard, but, I mean, there's cartilage. The dad has an Adam's apple. The mom too. I don't know. Maybe I don't know the details, like I just said. Or do you just go blind? Cold blood, cold turkey. You just do it, you know? I'm scared. I'm scared and I'm petrified. Like a knife slitting the throat seems just extra sordid and morbid versus other ways to commit murder. And I mean, like, this isn't even going into the alt. To the killing your parents of it all. Like, your good parents. It feels. And like stabbings and. And slitting someone's throat. I mean, it really is. Like, obviously, it's my job. It's. This is my job. This is my podcast. So it's like, hello, I also want to make you laugh, but it is terrifying. And, like, I feel like it's not even stabbing. It's literally slitting someone's throat. It feels reminiscent of dismembering after the body's dead. Like, I don't know, just somewhere in my gut it feels that, like, cruel, you know, I just wouldn't have the gall. I wouldn't have the temerity to go for the neck with the knife. If I were in the position and my parents really cared about me and sent me to rehab umpteen times to help me heal my addiction habits. I just. And even if somebody was come, you know, even if they weren't bad, if they weren't good parents, I just wouldn't. I just couldn't. You know, I would do, like, a little nick maybe, and then apologize to them. I'd immediately say, I'm sorry, scream, run to the police, turn myself in, start apologizing profusely to them, and start getting jacked in prison ASAP in the weight room so everyone knows who the new don is, you come to me. I got K2 or whatever. Robbie could bring us something, maybe an oatmeal cookie. But she's not shoving crack up her, that's for sure, so get lost. That's called baking soda actually, but I'll sell it for a thousand a sniff. But also, I read this quote on Reddit that went something like, I've never seen something more or heard something more unnerving than the thought of the man you borned murdering you. It's like, ugh, send chills up your spine. So it's like the next person who asked me if I want kids, I'm going to answer Rob Reiner. Between Nick Reiner and the R Regretful parents, Reddit sub and lack of maternal instinct whisper I will not bear and I will not rear the regretful parent sub is heart wrenching. Only if you kind of want to be sad, I guess, then go. Or it's like, I wouldn't say it's interesting, but maybe they're like stories from parents. Granted, uncorroborated one sided anecdotes, but this is the data I believe. Recently I read one that it's like there's a 12 year old who's literally hell and rude, insolent and devilish and is so mean to her mom and she cannot be controlled. The mom is like, I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. We've taken her to therapy, we've tried all different kinds of parenting. She has a son who's like so sweet and you know, they're just different. But this daughter, she was born rotten as a soul as that yogurt that you just opened up and it had a black film on it, just waiting to make your life and your gut a living hell. I mean, obviously a lot of parents love their kid. This is just the dark side of the Internet. An interesting set corner of the Internet. These people need other people to talk to and lament to. But on the contrary, it is clear that the Reiner parents really loved their son and did whatever they could to keep him sober. He was, they called him an addict. I don't know what he was addicted to. Like I think all the normal. Maybe I don't want to spread rumors here, but here I go. But like he was on a podcast from a long time ago which they use as like, I don't. One piece of evidence that I've heard on every news outlet, it was like 2017 maybe or 2018, why he's going on A podcast about addiction. I don't even know how these podcast hosts, like, even looked. Whatever. But they were asking about his addiction. They're like, I don't want to be mean, man. I'm just, like, asking. And he's like, you know what? I'm just, like, ready to relapse. So I'm moving back home because I just want to relapse. I think he's mostly talking about weed. And it's like, I am scared to say that a murderer is relatable. Like, I get it sometimes I just want to relapse. I didn't eat an edible last night. It's like, okay, well, I. I'm ready. I'm ready to have one tonight. I'm gonna wait until my birthday. But it's like, I mean, maybe. Maybe he got the dreaded. The dreaded marijuana induced schizophrenia, which. Try looking that up when you're high. Terrifying. Sometimes if you get too high, you're, like, actually hearing voices. This is happening to me. But I don't. But I don't know, maybe he was. Was pre. Predisposed, but his yoga teacher from a child. The parents, I guess, tried yoga when he was something, like maybe medication. But she said he was weird as then, too. So, you know, we. We ask ourselves many things, like, why did the Reiners take Nick back in? Because Nick said, you know, he was homeless multiple times for years, and probably because they just wanted to provide him some safety. Safety to, like, get clean. It's like, it's your son. You know, it's kind of the thing about enabling, which when they weren't enabling, he was homeless. So I think the parents feared, you know, Nick's accidental slash on purpose suicide and took him back in and in again just to be killed by him. Oh, it's really. I don't. I think it's, like, more than ironic. I think it's devoid of irony and it's some kind of sick destiny. And we, like, may, you know, we ask ourselves, well, why didn't the Reiners just pay for a place, you know, for the sun, for Nick Reiner? Because they have millions of dollars. But it's like, do I look like I know all the answers? I don't know. So. And then, like, the Reiners made that movie with Nick called, like, Charlie or something. I think they were just like, hey, use our resources. We can help you create something really special for yourself. Some kind of art, maybe. It's cathartic. It'll help you heal. I don't know what the movie was, the movie was about maybe someone who's addicted who like overcame it or something. But it's like, you look back on this movie and this is what your life could be, you know, remember what your sober phase is. But it didn't work. And I guess it was just like a bad movie. But it seems like the parents really were trying. Like, I just don't think like the Menendez brothers, their parents or their dad like molested them. They abused him. He was really terrible. So it's like that I can kind of understand. But these parents just like really seemed like they loved him and they cared about him and they tried their best and then they were literally murdered because of it. But. And it was like obvious. You look at those pictures and you're like, okay, this guy's severely mentally ill. This is just not an addiction. Like, it's kind of like obvious he has something else going on. And in the media, or in the beginning, the media covered the story reporting that Nick had addiction issues. And it's like, I don't know, just because you're an addict doesn't mean that you're gonna like slit your parents throat. I do think that is more indicative of a severe mental illness. And like, he was acting really questionably creepy at, at Conan o', Brien's, you know, holiday party. So it's like, where are your manners, Nick? Where's your couth? It's probably his severe, you know, something's not, not right in his brain. And the Reiners asked Conan o' Brien if Nick could come because they were afraid of leaving him alone because he was acting strange re experimenting with oranges in IKEA knives. But like, no one mentioned anything that he was like, extra high at the party. You know, when you're addicted and really high, I feel like you're kind of sedated or falling asleep, unless you're on meth, which maybe he was, but they weren't saying he seemed like actually high out of his mind, that he was just acting extremely strange. And when he checked into the hotel, like where he fled after the murders, which I kind of have a theory, but it doesn't matter. I think he. Because they said he checked into the hotel, he was free of blood, he just looked like he was kind of tweaking, which it's like, okay, committing a premeditated double homicide will make you tweaky. Why take a Ritalin when you could go for murder? Don't take your daily vyvanse. I have something better. It's called murder. Don't Do a pour over. Don't have two pour overs. Just murder. It's better on your stomach. But I think is when he checked in, he didn't have any blood on him. He was just tweaking. And then when the housekeepers found the room, there was blood everywhere in the bathtub, on the curtains. It's like unless he self mutilated or did he check into the hotel, go back, murder his parents and then take everything in through a back door, through the hotel. It doesn't make a difference in sentencing. I just, maybe it's a timeline thing. But nobody else said that this isn't corroborated. And I probably wrong. But then all of a sudden like a couple days later, it's like breaking news. Nick Reiner may be schizophrenic. It's like obviously we all knew that from the beginning and he's gonna plead insane. There's no other way around it. Like we know this guy's gonna plead insane. Alan Jackson is Nick Reiner's lawyer. So after he sings, you know, after his nightly song of Remember when at the local cowboy bar, Alan Jackson met with Nick Reiner and then he sang a little tune to Nick. It goes like this. Remember when you killed your mom and dad? Don't tell me how, just answer my questions. Did time stand still or did you get a snack at the 7:11? So that was their first meeting and he. So Alan Jackson is a high profile defense lawyer. He represented Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein and Karen Reed, which I don't, I don't know. I, I know Kevin Spacey was like a mega certified pervert. And I feel like he's one of the only canceled celebrities that could not make a comeback. We know Harvey Weinstein is still in jail. I think Kevin Spacey is still being a pervert in Fresh Air. And then Karen Reed got off. I don't, I don't know much about her trial. I know she was on for murder and he got her off. But people say she's innocent and that's enough for me to repeat it as fast fact. But it's like, so is he taking on these high profile cases for money or pr? I don't know. I don't know why these like defense lawyers do what they do, honestly. But, but yeah. So I think like Alan Jackson will obviously build a good defense and start off with the insanity plea because it's just what makes the most sense when you have someone looking like that. He saw one picture of him, he's like, oh yeah, I'M taking on and we're pleading insane because you look insane, my man. He. But he was so insane, he was able to premeditate two murders while they were sleeping. Okay, yeah, maybe we can go with self defense or crime of passion. While they were sleeping, While they were dreaming in REM sleep. We're so passionate, we're going at each other. And then he did it twice in a row. He slit the throat of both parents. They were found in two different rooms or two different times by the daughter, I don't exactly know. But it doesn't sound like they were together because the daughter found I think the dad first and then went to go look for the, for the mom. And so I think maybe, I don't know, the mom, maybe one of them fought back or something. We just have. They're keeping this so hush hush. But he was so crazy that he was successfully able to drive a car after he killed him and get a snack from 7 11. He was so insane he was able to cognitively check into a hotel room without any tales of just being a tweak. And who's going to pay Mr. Grammy winning Alan Jackson? Nick Reiner has no money. He was homeless and living rent free. So is, is Jackson. Oh God, sorry, my armpit. So is Jackson going to take on this case for free because it's high profile? Is he like that rich that he doesn't care and this is going to like whatever? I guess he's done many of these cases in a row. Karen reads Trial was just recently, but free work? I don't think so. What do I look like the sun just rose on my infancy? Like I'm still a baby. Like I can't tell my head from my ass, like my eyes don't converge. I would never work for free. And I bet he's not either. So it's like, don't even tell me. The bond was initially set for $4 million, which like a family coming from that they immediately retracted. It was like, okay, no, obviously slates too low. He's being held without bond. But it's like, where are you gonna get $4 million, Nick? Don't tell me that you're gonna pay for that or you're gonna use daddy and money, Daddy and mommy's money to pay for your bail when you killed them. Don't tell me you're gonna use daddy and mommy's money to pay for this whole trial. That's going to be millions of dollars because there's retainers, there's hourly, and this is going to be a really long case face with lots of whatever investigations and thinking to try and get you off. So please don't tell me you're gonna use your parents money to try and get you out of jail or a lesser sentence. And you killed both of them. You guys, it's a tangled web. And it's get. It's getting worse. It's getting terrible. This is the most cursed, awful thing to have ever happened. And then who's he gonna bail to? They're like, oh, four million dollar bail. Obviously he's gonna. Who's he gonna bail to? One of the families? No way. Rock, paper, scissors. I'm not getting the kooky one. My neck is next. And I've been working way too hard on my tech neck with the Omenux and I'm doing trap exercises. But you know what? I guess we shall wait and see. But it's tragic and it's terrible. And that's it for now. So we'll see you next week.