Gabby Windy (0:01)

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hello, Hello, Hello. We're cooking and we're cooked. We're cooking and we're cooked. We're cooking and we're cooked. Let me break open my refresher. It has great flavors. This one's blue. Blueberry blur. Blurry blur. Blur. It's just what you need to awaken. It does make you want it. I know I always do it. But really, there's no. There's really. There's nothing else to do. And you have to describe someone, something or somebody such as this that makes you want to pucker and go. You guys remember, Remember apple pucker? I was raised on it. I was drinking it straight from the teat. It was in the food group. It was basically a milk substitution, like a formula, but that of an apple pucker in which got you drunk. That was my childhood. Okay. Okay. Welcome back to another episode of Long Winded. Thank you. Thank you for coming back time and time again. Where to start? I guess I'll start. I guess I'll start right at the beginning from last night. We went to go see Eddington. I don't know a spoiler before I get threatening messages. Why didn't you. Spoiler, spoiler. Spoiler. This is my podcast. I can talk about whatever I want and spoil whatever I want. But in case you're dying to see the movie, I would fast forward for the next five to seven minutes, but you don't want to miss too much. So fast forward in your own accord. But basically the movie Eddington with Joaquin Phoenix. It's like set during COVID times and he's running for mayor against Pedro Pascal. So already. Already right there. It seems. It seems like it would be a no brainer. It would be good. But I'm of the mindset of the contrary. It is like a commentary about politics, like Woke language. There's misinformation about COVID like Mask V. No mask vaccine this virus that. There's commentary on BLM and basically every other kind of political thing going on in the last four years that you could think of. People are calling it a power powder keg. I have absolutely no idea what that means. Whatever it means, it was too much. It was too much in one movie. My God, you have got to be kidding. Okay, anyways. Okay, yes, back to Eddington. It was like whatever. It was a commentary about politics. All things political. There was. There was like whatever was like a parody on Woke language and misinformation about COVID and like a mask v. Non mask dynamic. That was like virus. This vaccine. That's six feet. Six feet. They really brought back the jokes about six feet. I said six feet. They brought in blm. They brought all of it in. It couldn't get enough of it. People are calling it a powder keg, whatever the fuck that means. I just call it too much. What, am I not allowed to have an opinion? First of all, this is in my humble opinion. I'm not. I'm not. This isn't. I'm not reporting to be right and correct in all things I say. Except, yeah, I am. But it was just like too much in. In one movie. They were like. They were kind of in on it. Touching on the white savior complex, which I. Which was like, definitely funny at times. And like we get. And then there was abortion and there was rape and there was like a double, triple, quadruple homicide. There was a whole storylines, plots that you forgot even happened. There was. There was gore and what, machine guns. There was Emma Stone, Joaquin Phoenix. There was cult conspiracies. There was. Emma Stone had a weird hobby. There was a love story. I was hoping they would really expand and bring back around the love story because it was actually kind of sweet between Joaquin Phoenix and Emma Stone, even though nobody buys their chemistry. But he was like, into her and made all of his friends buy her weird dolls, which is something that I think Robbie would do. So I was like, oh, I hope they can make it. They brought in at. They brought in taking care of like a disabled, paralyzed person. They. And then there was a full frontal nudity. It's like, do you have to bring all of these in one movie? Do you have to do it all? Can you just pick one or a couple or two? And people are like, oh, it's just. Ari asked and like, oh, it's just him. But it's like, why it was three hours. I take that as a personal offense. It's an assault on my time. You already ruined the evening. I was supposed to go to K Barbecue, finish this night up with a nice. With the nice bulgogi beef. But now it. It ended an hour later. Really? An hour and a half later. What happened to a 90 minute movie then? It was supposed to. And then there I am going to bed hungry. Because you couldn't wrap it up in 90 to 120 minutes. You needed a full three hours to waste everybody's time to say a whole bunch of nothing. It felt like I was getting screamed at for like three hours. Felt like you were getting yelled at about things that you already Knew you did wrong. It's like, okay, I've already heard about all of this before and I already apologized, but now I have to. It's exhausting. I'm drained. In the movie, there wasn't any new ideas or point of views. It was just like, reaction this. It was just rehashing the same that we've already made jokes about before years later. And people are gonna be like, oh, my God, he's a pioneer. He was the first to touch on the time during COVID And it was so funny. Be like, I was so funny. I never laugh at Movies are in the theater. And I laughed. They said. They said on a Reddit thread, they said they were howling with laughter. Now all of a sudden, I have a. I have a Western accent because it was like a western movie, which I feel like it is. It's giving, like, gap in the market. It's like, whoever's buying these movies are like, oh, yeah, there's a Gap. They saw Sinners. They're like, oh, wow, this did really good. Because it's an. Actually, it's an actual good movie that was kind of Western. This is giving Western. Everybody saw Sinners and they were like, okay, we need. We need exactly the same movies like this, but nothing can be Sinners because that actually had a lot of real symbolism. Eddington just had, like, hit you in the face with it, no symbols. You just, like, got it. It was like all of it was just on the nose right in front of your face. They're like, we need that. We need an absurd movies movie with guns and try and make it funny. So would I recommend it? While I did take a poll and I answered honestly, I answered if you're a fan of the director Ari Aston, or I know I'm pronouncing his name wrong. I don't know the Whatever. Which. Because apparently a lot of his movies are like this. And it's like, I know who likes these movies. It's those men. They die for these movies. They're the ones being like. It was. It's gonna. It's the Greatest movie of 2025. I laughed out loud and I cackled. It's a man. It has to be a man. Because those are the ones who share these opinions. So that's what I think about Eddington. But please, please go see for yourself. Let me know what you think. I know people are going to be very upset. I had a hot take on Poor Things. Nobody liked it. People take these things personally. Right in. Let me know. I love to Shop. Sue me. Sue me. I do. You guys know how I feel about retail therapy. It's real and sometimes the only therapy. And as you know, I love the RealReal. I got such a cute little 90s Paloma wool tank that I said I was gonna wear with white capris. And then I did, and it was such a good outfit. And you know what? I'm an outfit repeater and I'm gonna wear it again. But obviously my bank account has limits. So that's why I love to scour the Real Real. And I love to scour for their deals and for their new pieces. There's 10,000 new items every day and they have daily drops at 10am and 7pm Eastern. That's twice a day. You heard me. The RealReal is attainable luxury that upgrades your personal style. With up to 90% off retail, you can finally have the pieces you've been dreaming up from bands from brands like Gucci. Gucci, Fendi, Prada. Are there are really, Are there any other brands? Of course. But unlike other resale sites, everything the RealReal sells is authenticated in person by luxury and fashion experts. So the RealReal is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale. With thousands of new arrivals daily, no one does resale like the RealReal. And now get 25 off your first purchase when you go to therealreal.com winded that's therealreal.com winded to get your 25 off. Start shopping now at therealreal.com winded and the URL must be lowercase. Project Runway is back and back in dramatic fashion. And the icon Heidi Klum returns to the mother of all fashion shows. Now on Freeform, Hulu and Disney plus, Project Runway is the house that Heidi built. And it's good to be home, baby. It's a place where dreams can come true. As you know, in fashion, one day you're in and the next day you're out. So hopefully I saw Utica from Drag Race was on, so hopefully she's in, you know, because if she's not in, then she's out. World renowned fashion designer Christian Siriano will mentor 12 designers in the ultimate competition of creativity and passion. This season is full of exciting new challenges where the designers will have to create eye catching looks under intense pressure. And you know, pressure leads to drama. And who doesn't love a little bit of drama? I know my audience and we love sue us. We do. We love the drama. Fan favorite judge Nina Garcia is not easy to please. And New judge Law Roach will be your new obsession at the Runway show. The designers better bring their best in front of Law, or he's gonna let them know, like, only can. Fashion favors the bold. You know, that's what they always say. So who will rule the Runway? Project Runway, Thursdays at 10pm on Freeform, stream on Hulu and Disney Plus. But then there's all this press around Naked Gun, which we were like, I don't know if we should see, but we're definitely gonna see. I heard it was good. But Pam and Liam's love story, watching them do press together, they're the it couple. My faith in heterosexuality could be restored. It's not, because if you give it another five minutes, you'll understand why. But this is a mature love. This is a real love. The way that he looks at her, like, he's really flirting. He has really sweet I love you eyes. And apparently he loves her sourdough. Like, obviously, she bakes bread with that. Obviously pre Diflucan. Whatever. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm sure Yeast has never known Pamela since the years of Tommy Lee. I do wonder if she's gotten that barbed wire tattoo removed from her upper arm. Except I do think it's kind of, like, of the time and pretty iconic and, like, at some point will come back like, the dream stamp, but I feel like she's had to have gotten it removed. But it's like she's grown. She's grown up. She raised her kids. She was really in a terrible situation. She got out of there. She was a good mom, and now she's reinventing herself, like, having a whole new career, revamping and a second love. I mean, it's really incredible and inspiring to see old people fall in love. There, I said it. I know she's not that old and she's gorgeous, but still. Okay, you know what I mean? You know what I'm trying to get across. They're later in life. They weren't dealt the best circumstances, so they had to try again. His wife tragically dying in a ski accident. I had no clue. I had no idea. And she was in the Parent Trap. Like, at least the kids have that movie, but, oh, my God, you just don't think of these things that are going to happen to the people that you're watching, you know, on the movies. But, like, when I say, I don't want to ski, I do not want to ski. I don't want to ski with you. I don't want A ski vacation. I like my life and I like my ACLs. I cannot recover from a surgery like that all in the name of being cold. And there's really no upside. Except maybe the cute onesies. But it's like they're. They're not even that cute. It looks like. It looks like you're just wearing kind of a soft pillow around your whole body. Like I can definitely look cute in other ways. Safely in a thong bikini on the beach where I prefer to be. And I would be so excited if Pam was my stepmomy. Can you imagine her archival clothing? I would rummage, rummage fairly rabid through her clothes. Sniffing her underwear. Not actually. But that is where things get a little complicated because like we have a lot of our vintage Playboy covers. It's like, okay, but now I'm a lesbian, so I don't really want to live out the plotline storyline of a porn. But I understand that's. That's what it would be. So I just have to. I just. I honestly just have to let that one slide. I just have to let it go. Oh, wow. And I. And whenever I come here every week, I do. I wish I had something else to talk about besides the state of men, which has and will continue to be that of an emergency. Where do I begin? Honestly, this stuff that I, I'm really. I'm just. I'm not in the area so I have to draw research. Whenever it comes to me, I have to draw conclusions and I have to bring it back to my constituents. So I go. So I have to find ways to dip out a toe to reach a feeler and then report back. And because I am a journalist and you deserve to know. So. So basically I heard. I heard a story of a heterosexual people engaging in whatever and sex. Cuz whatever. I'm sorry for her. Not only because I'm a lesbian and I say that about everything, but because you're going to be sorry for her too. So I was hearing the story as I was having a nice walk around the Silver Lake res, which is my form, my number one choice of having a hangout because you get your heart rate up a little bit as to pump some oxygen into the brain so you can think clearly in case you need to rebut an idea about this story you're about to hear. So of course you never know where it's going to go with the Straits. So you, you have to be. You have to be alert and. Yeah. And ready for. For anything to happen. And that, that is what did. And what will continue to happen? And here I go. And you're gonna learn. So I hear this story of whatever, a man and a woman, which I hate even to call men. Men at this point because they're animal. Like they're more animal than men. Okay, but enough of that. And so. So I hear a story and this man is eating a girl's pussy. As he should. As he should. As in which, if you are a straight man, you should really love and revel in and enjoy it should really get you turned on. There's nothing more attractive than a man wanting to suffocate in your genitals. Talk about an am. An animal. This is primal. I shouldn't have to explain myself on why this type of action is attractive to the womankind. But that's the thing is, I don't know if they quite care about the womankind. So something went awry as to make. As to make the receiver of this act think that he didn't like to eat her box to munch on that rug. Which the rug will come into the story. Actually, something made her think, oh, I. I feel like he's not enjoying this. Maybe his soft erection, but maybe not. So she confronts him. And thank God. And thank God. Because I would never have the gumption back then, living as a straight woman. I didn't know what to do with them because I felt like it was always my fault. I felt like I was always doing something wrong. Anyways, we're getting our power back. She confronted him. Do you like eating pussy? She says. He replies, to be honest with you. First mistake. You don't get to be honest. This is our second or third or whatever kind of date. You don't get to be honest about anything of this nature. To be honest, I don't love a bush. Well, it's. You don't get. He said, I don't prefer a bush. Well, you don't get to prefer something that's not on your body. You don't get to have preferences over how I keep my pussy hairs because I am a woman. And if I like to run all five fingers through it, really give it a comb, really spread it out. Feel your womanhood in between your fingers. That is my preference and it shouldn't affect you none. You think a girl's ever complained about slobbing on a hairy knob? No, it just like, doesn't matter. We're adults, so we're not going to complain about those little things. All in the name of being honest. And this girl was like, oh, well, maybe it was a good thing that he was honest. Maybe that's a green flag. It's like, no, he's going to continue to hurt feelings and hurt your feelings in the vein of honesty the longer that you engage with this freak. Because where are your manners? Have you lost all of your decorum? This is the first time you're having sex. I mean, yeah, maybe this is a discussion you could maybe have later when you're more. When, when the conversation is, is a little bit more open and the dialogue is free flowing and I'm asking about your preferences, but you don't get to lay that on me. You he devil. And then the girl you know in the story was like, why would I go full bald headed eagle when that's it's just rooted in pedophilia and porn? I'm like, oh my God, you're right. I mean obviously I could have said porn, but it really starts with pedophilia. Sorry, I took it there. Sorry. Why do you want your women looking pre pubescent? Because we're only just now outline. I mean of the last maybe century or so and even other places in the world, it is still legal to have a child bride. It sounds crazy when you say it out loud, but it's true. I have something to tell you. This summer is not only about being sexy. It's about having a better morning after. You heard that right? You might be waking up in your own bed or somebody else's and he may or may not have washed his sheets in the last six months. But that's absolutely none of my business and it doesn't matter because Julie has you covered. The Julie morning after pill uses the same trusted gyno recommended ingredient as plan B to delay ovulation and prevent pregnancy when taken up to three days after unprotected sex. If there's no egg, there's no fertilization and if there's no fertilization, there's no pregnancy. It's called science, people. The earlier you use it, the better it works. And when you need it, Julie should be your plan A because it's more affordable than the leading competitor. Think of the savings as another drink on Julie. And the best part is that it's easy to use. All it takes is one pill. The morning after pill cannot end an existing pregnancy and it will not affect future fertility whatsoever. Girls, girls everywhere can find Julie at CVS, Walgreens, Walmart, Target, Amazon and GoPuff across all 50 states. No age restrictions and no ID required ever. I'm actually Starting to get serious about my finances, which is terrifying and so vulnerable because nobody teaches you about them really, especially when you're a woman. But I. But now's not the time. Now is the time to introduce you to Rocket Money. A lot of us aren't aware how much we spend each month. It's better to live in the dark sometimes. I don't want to face it. I don't want to know all the subscriptions I pay for like that crunchy to watch one anime movie. And now I have no idea how to cancel my subscription. And how much you spend on take out or delivery. Again, none of my business really. It is probably more than we think. But there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and that's Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings honestly. So helpful because there's subscriptions hiding. Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocky Money will help you cancel it. They're going straight for Crunchy. If you know, don't say I didn't warn you. And if you know them and work for them, it's really not personal. I just do not need you anymore. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, which with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocket money.com long winded today that's rocket money.com long winded. Rocket money.com long winded. And I and I want to say that there is hope for the straight women out there, the straight women listening to this podcast because we see things like Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson. But I cannot say it with my full chest. From my gut it feels like a lie the second it hits my tongue. But there are. I begin to say from the front to the back and then it hits the tip. Good. That's in the back of my throat. Men either. Either. Where the words are in my mouth, it feels like a lie. I can't see. Say it. Because I've also heard now that men are stating things like do you want to get stuffed in bed? That's right. They're asking if you'd like to get stuffed. What am I? A double breasted turkey on the eve of Jesus's birthday. Am I the Christmas Day bird? What do you mean, get stuffed? And I know what you mean because I can visualize it, unfortunately. But is this, is this actually something men think is okay to say? Where are you getting this kinds of information? Where are you getting this kind of information? Oh, I know pornography. These porn addicts, sex freaks. Like, that's not real life. And I don't, obviously I wouldn't actually know like what's being said in porn because we're watching different porn. I prefer mine. Mine are like, I don't know, a 1920s movie. It's like there's barely color, definitely no sound, and it's just gesturing. There's no language like getting stuffed. It's really for the female gays. So I just wouldn't know. I was surprised when we were talking about it. I'm like, where does it come from? And she's like, porn. I'm like, how do you know? She's like, I. I had to research it. And sure enough, because it seems so, so out there and what it's like, you're literally just like regurgitating phrases you hear in porn. Like you're that out, you're that unoriginal. You have no other inspirations to pull from. Yes. Daddy isn't cutting it. Do you think they're going to catch us? Are we doing something bad? My go to no. Do you want to get stuffed? Well, that doesn't really open up a form of dialogue. It's just a yes or no answer. And actually I don't because it sounds like it hurts. And then I was like, ugh. Actually, we've all failed each other as women. We've failed one another. Not that it's our faults in any sense of the imagination of, of the fruition and what this manosphere, T ridden, testosterone ridden, red pilled, roaming free on the streets. Not that these things are our problem as women, but we failed each other in, in the sense that no one has corrected this do you want to get stuffed? Verbiage. Because he's still repeating it and worse and worse, which is just now coming to mind. What if we have tried to protect each other and he is still assaulting women with the get stuffed Vernacular. Ever thought about that? But it's like, obviously, what would you say? You're so stunned into submission, you wouldn't, you wouldn't be able to think of anything else to say in return. Do you want to get stuffed? I guess, I guess this is what I came here to do. I Don't I. I don't really know what I signed up for, sir. You're freaking me out. But we gaslight ourselves into thinking it's our own idea, which. Protecting each other, protecting women. It brings me to another. Another something in the news. The T. AP leak, which did happen a couple weeks ago, so I kind of had to let it marinate to see where the story was going, to see more information get dredged up before I could really form an opinion. And I think I've got one. I found one. It came to me, oof, Just like that. If you're not chronically online like me, I need to get my information somewhere so I can come speak to you for an hour about some things. So here I am again in the field, bringing the information back to my constituents. So anyways, the T app, like it was. The idea was originally kind of a Facebook group, aimed to create an anonymous community to help keep women, like, safe in dating. Basically to help keep them from getting abused or raped. And like, like comment, oh, if you've, you know, seen this guy, here's some red flags because we know there's some real freaks and night stalkers, day walkers, they do dare to show their face in the middle of the day. And out there asking things like, do you want to get stuff? It's like, this should have been first on the T app. Beware. He's scary, but there's even worse crimes than those. So basically it was a. It was a place to be. Like, are we dating the same guy? Have you seen this guy? Is there any red flags? Whatever, Whatever. You know, you know, it's like, beware of this man who has a mustache and is wearing overalls with one unbuttoned saggy on his shoulder and has painted nails. I'm gonna be sick. Beware. Because as you expected, he didn't ask for consent. So I guess, anyways, the T app got the idea from this anonymous Facebook group, and I think it was. It seems like it could have been create. Created in some haste because there wasn't as many security measures put in place as you'd like. It was anonymous, but for some reason it. It wanted you to verify yourself. Maybe. Like, I guess, I mean, there's. This is probably all nefarious from the people who created it. Again, preying on victims of U.S. women. But they wanted you to upload your driver's license to like, whatever, confirm your woman do something which, like any app that's asking you to like, take a picture of your driver's license and give it to their database is like, I don't think so. But curiosity kills the cat every single time. And how else are we supposed to keep our sister in sister then safe other than to upload the license? So upload the license. We did because we want to keep ourselves safe and others since we cannot trust our dear men. Your husband is the most is the one who's most likely to kill you. So anyways, this app, the T app is. Is not secure. And when you take a picture and upload your driver's license, it goes straight to like some kind of unsecure cloud which doesn't even need hacking. There's like a lack of an H3 or some kind of weird techy that I'm not privy to in this life. I'm a mere vessel to report the information that comes through me to you. But even if this was secure, it's like, oh, the cloud is just incredibly not. There's just no security around it. Re Remember my nudes almost getting leaked because my cloud got hacked? And after. And after I went to the police and played damsel in distress? Ma', am, I'm scared. I was definitely not in distress, but instead on the precipice of international stardom. And all the info the police were able to tell me is that the cloud is very easy to hack and not secure at all. And here I am still living a life of mediocre fame because it was easy to get my news, but they didn't even want to leak them. Rude. You know the Justin Bieber song is there Love? What about let me turn you on to Honey Love? Honey Love is an independent female founded brand. All Honey Love products are intelligently designed by women who actually wear them, including founder Bestie, who is highly involved in the development of each product. Honey Love recently launched their new cloud Embrace bra which sold out in days. It's a modern wireless T shirt bra with sturdy, lightly padded foam cups that feel like a cloud against your skin. Doesn't that sound nice? It's a wireless bra for people who love underwire. This style is bound to sell out again. So. So you better not wait. Because you'll never know. If you wait, you'll never know what it's like to feel a cloud against your boobs. And it sounds like something that we should all be experiencing at one point or another. And it better be now with Honey Love. Honey Love. Honey Love bras are supportive and wire free thanks to bonding technology that lifts without underwire. You do. You deserve a bra that's lightweight and comfortable without sacrificing support. So why don't you treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market? Save 20% off honeylove@honeylove.com GabbyWindy Use our exclusive link to get 20% off honeylove.com GabbyWindy to find your perfect fit. After you purchase, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Experience the new standard in bras and shapewear with Honey Love.