hootin around with Carolyn Wiger - Long Winded with Gabby Windey

Summary4 min read

Podcast Title: Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Episode: Hootin Around with Carolyn Wiger
Release Date: March 13, 2025
Host/Author: Dear Media

Introduction

In the episode titled "Hootin Around with Carolyn Wiger," Gabby Windey engages in a candid and heartfelt conversation with Carolyn Wiger. The duo delves deep into personal struggles, professional challenges, and their shared experiences in the realm of reality television. Skipping the typical superficial topics, Gabby and Carolyn aim to unearth the core of their personalities, drawing from Gabby's diverse background as an ICU nurse, NFL cheerleader, and reality TV star.

Navigating Trust and Management in Podcasting

Gabby Windy opens the discussion by expressing her distrust in managers and the challenges of relinquishing control over her podcast business:

"I don't want to have a manager. Like, I don't trust anyone again. I'm not like." [00:01]

Carolyn Weiger counters by emphasizing the necessity of letting go to avoid burnout:

"Yeah, but you gotta let that go. A little or else you're gonna freak your." [00:14]

Gabby shares her fears of overcommitment leading to a mental breakdown, highlighting the difficulty of trusting others after past experiences of betrayal:

"But who's recording already?" [02:10]

The conversation underscores the importance of collaborating with reliable and professional individuals or organizations to maintain creativity and mental clarity.

Personal Struggles with Sobriety and Self-Discovery

A significant portion of the episode focuses on sobriety and the journey of self-discovery. Gabby candidly discusses her past addictions to cocaine and alcohol:

"Everything I could. They used to say, like, if you could smoke, you would. So like, mainly cocaine and alcohol." [18:20]

Carolyn relates her own experiences, mentioning her early start with alcohol at age 13 and the challenges it posed:

"I started drinking at 13. I was throwing up out of my nose." [38:14]

Both hosts explore the complexities of maintaining sobriety while navigating public life and personal relationships. Gabby highlights the transformative power of therapy, journaling, and self-reflection:

"I dig deep. And I fucking journaled. And I went to therapy and I did treatment." [22:24]

Carolyn adds her perspective on the internalization of others' perceptions and the struggle to assert personal boundaries without self-judgment.

Experiences with Reality TV: Survivor and Traitors

Gabby and Carolyn share their insights and frustrations from participating in reality TV shows like "Survivor" and "Traitors." Gabby expresses her disdain for manipulative personalities like Boston Rob, whom she felt hindered her gameplay:

"He typically in his games, he'll tell people what to do... And that's what I appreciate." [14:31]

Carolyn discusses her strategy of being adaptable and not fitting the typical strategist mold, which often led to misunderstandings and underestimated capabilities:

"My strategy is I'm, I can like, whatever pivot. I can take things as they come." [06:00]

They both reflect on the emotional toll these shows take, the superficial relationships formed, and the pressure to conform to certain personas to succeed within the game's dynamics.

Self-Confidence, Public Image, and Personal Identity

The hosts delve into issues surrounding self-image, societal expectations, and the impact of public perception. Gabby opens up about her struggles with how others perceive her unique traits:

"I'm not autistic. I'm weird." [16:58]

Carolyn supports the conversation by sharing her fears of being labeled negatively when choosing sobriety over conforming to social drinking norms:

"I'm afraid people will think I'm antisocial or people will think I'm a bitch or something." [29:39]

They discuss the importance of self-acceptance and the challenges of presenting an authentic self in public spaces. Gabby emphasizes the need to prioritize mental health over societal expectations:

"It's better for your mental health. It's better for your like." [29:50]

Handling Fame and Public Recognition

As their podcast grows, both Gabby and Carolyn address the nuances of increased visibility and the discomfort it brings. Gabby admits her reluctance to embrace the growing attention and the associated pressures:

"I don't like the attention. I don't like people touching me." [55:08]

Carolyn echoes similar sentiments, expressing concerns about meeting expectations and maintaining genuine connections amidst rising popularity:

"I need to be accepted for who I am." [55:46]

They explore strategies to manage public interactions, such as setting boundaries and focusing on personal well-being over external validation.

Conclusion

"Hootin Around with Carolyn Wiger" offers an unfiltered glimpse into the lives of two strong women navigating the complexities of fame, personal growth, and mental health. Through their honest dialogue, Gabby Windey and Carolyn Wiger provide valuable insights into overcoming trust issues, maintaining sobriety, and staying true to oneself in the face of external pressures. This episode serves as a testament to their resilience and commitment to fostering genuine connections both on and off the podcasting stage.

Notable Quotes

Gabby Windy: "I don't want to have a manager. Like, I don't trust anyone again." [00:01]
Carolyn Weiger: "Yeah, but you gotta let that go. A little or else you're gonna freak your." [00:14]
Gabby Windy: "Everything I could. So like, mainly cocaine and alcohol." [18:20]
Carolyn Weiger: "I started drinking at 13. I was throwing up out of my nose." [38:14]
Gabby Windy: "I dig deep. And I fucking journaled. And I went to therapy and I did treatment." [22:24]
Gabby Windy: "I'm not autistic. I'm weird." [16:58]
Carolyn Weiger: "I'm afraid people will think I'm antisocial or people will think I'm a bitch or something." [29:39]

This summary encapsulates the essence of the conversation between Gabby Windey and Carolyn Wiger, highlighting their personal journeys, professional challenges, and the profound insights they share. For listeners seeking an authentic and in-depth exploration of these topics, this episode is a must-hear.

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Transcript592 lines

[00:01]
Gabby Windy
The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I don't want to have a manager. Like, I don't trust anyone again. I'm not like.
[00:15]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah, but you gotta let that go.
[00:17]
Gabby Windy
A little or else you're gonna freak your.
[00:19]
Carolyn Weaker
You're gonna.
[00:20]
Gabby Windy
I've been drowning.
[00:21]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes, exactly. And it's just like being. You can't think and you can't be as clear creative if you're still so involved in the business.
[00:29]
Gabby Windy
I do everything.
[00:31]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Like I'm even having to give my.
[00:34]
Gabby Windy
Manager actually more control because it's like I'm drowning. I feel like I'm gonna have a mental breakdown, to be honest.
[00:40]
Carolyn Weaker
No, literally, that's why you need help.
[00:42]
Gabby Windy
But I again, it's the trust. I just had people stealing from me. So I just. There's so many thirsty, desperate ass people and I'm like with this. I don't in it. Well, if you want to just come to coffee with me and fuck who. Why are you. I don't know who you are. I don't know. I've never watched. And I don't want to do. I don't want to work with someone who literally is doing a fudgeing women owned with her husband doing the talk.
[01:08]
Carolyn Weaker
No. And don't work for another person in the business.
[01:12]
Gabby Windy
No.
[01:12]
Carolyn Weaker
For a company. Work for a production. Work with someone who has their shit figured out. You don't need to be under anyone else's influencer content creator's name because you are one.
[01:23]
Gabby Windy
And I'm like, why would I. And I go. I've never like seen like. Like I don't know anything about. And I don't. I know she has her own. Well then he's like, you got to come when you're here.
[01:33]
Carolyn Weaker
Sorry.
[01:33]
Gabby Windy
Is she. Yeah. Yeah. And I. And I don't know because they don't know people. And so I was just like, no, I don't want to do. You know me. People just come and do my fudgeing pod. I don't want to do any fudgeing pods.
[01:46]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[01:46]
Gabby Windy
Except for yours.
[01:47]
Carolyn Weaker
But like, no thank you. That's how I am.
[01:49]
Gabby Windy
And I am. I'm saying no to most.
[01:51]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[01:52]
Gabby Windy
All of them.
[01:52]
Carolyn Weaker
And Right. Unless they're. I. I get. I've been on Nick Files a bunch too. Just because he has a good audience and it's whatever. But other than that, I'm like, I don't want to. Cause what? It's not gonna like do anything for me.
[02:05]
Gabby Windy
And that's what I'm saying.
[02:06]
Carolyn Weaker
You.
[02:06]
Gabby Windy
I don't get Paid for this. Did you really say no to Rumor?
[02:08]
Carolyn Weaker
And I'm gonna cut all of this.
[02:10]
Gabby Windy
But who's recording already?
[02:12]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah, Yeah, I know. I'm so sneaky.
[02:15]
Gabby Windy
I used to do that to people. I'd call them, and they wouldn't know that I was talking to them. And then they'd be like, are you. Few people don't talk to me for that reason.
[02:23]
Jordan
No.
[02:25]
Gabby Windy
I really would. And they'd be like, are you recording? I'm like, no, no.
[02:30]
Carolyn Weaker
I just have some to say. Okay. Carolyn, how do you pronounce your last name?
[02:34]
Gabby Windy
Weaker.
[02:36]
Carolyn Weaker
Okay, well, I hate.
[02:38]
Gabby Windy
Good. I don't. You have, like, a cute one. So it's like, seriously, I don't.
[02:42]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I love everything you stand for.
[02:45]
Gabby Windy
But you know what I'm saying. And tell me about Red Bull. And it's not cute.
[02:48]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I just die laughing because it's, like, so much caffeine.
[02:52]
Gabby Windy
You don't drink caffeine.
[02:53]
Carolyn Weaker
I have, like, a half a cup in the morning.
[02:55]
Gabby Windy
Why?
[02:56]
Carolyn Weaker
I don't know. I'm just naturally anxious, so if I.
[02:58]
Gabby Windy
Do, I am, too. And that probably makes it way worse.
[03:00]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah, no, I die. But all the time, people will come in with an energy drink, and I'm like, damn, somebody. My last guest loved Red Bull, and she had a long drive home, and she's like, do you have a Red Bull? I'm like, no. What do you think is going on here?
[03:15]
Gabby Windy
I don't drink coffee. I don't. And this probably does make me more jittery and nervous, but I do. I need to stay up. Like, I.
[03:22]
Carolyn Weaker
You haven't gotten any sleep. You've been in LA for so long and you haven't slept. It's so crazy to me because I. Like, that's why I need to sleep. I didn't go to anything.
[03:31]
Gabby Windy
And I know, and I appreciate that. So. Yeah. They were looking for you. And they're like, well, girl. Like, is she gonna come?
[03:36]
Carolyn Weaker
Like, no. Who was looking for me?
[03:37]
Gabby Windy
The people with the cars. And they're. And she literally said, oh, I. I.
[03:42]
Carolyn Weaker
Called the car and canceled.
[03:43]
Gabby Windy
I go get. No, Gabby. They overheard me talking. And then they're like, gabby's coming. And I'm like, I don't think she is. Yeah, well, you have a car. A car is coming. And then I'm like, oh, maybe she is. And then I just walked away. I. Yeah. They wanted us at everything.
[03:58]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah, I know, but it just, like, was not the vibes.
[04:01]
Gabby Windy
No, I know. And I wasn't gonna do, like. Cause I wasn't vibing you. Like. I was sick of it.
[04:05]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[04:06]
Gabby Windy
Brave enough for going to the dinner thing after, but I got. I. My friend wanted to go to the Experience. Cause she'd never experienced it.
[04:15]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Which.
[04:16]
Gabby Windy
It.
[04:16]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I love that.
[04:17]
Gabby Windy
It was cool. But we thought that there was going to be, like, some other stuff there. Like press or like, we were going to video it or, like, something. Especially the housewives are like, where's, like, the cameras? We were. We were playing the game.
[04:29]
Carolyn Weaker
We were, like, playing again.
[04:31]
Gabby Windy
Playing the game and doing the missions and doing. Counting and doing. Yes. And so I kept looking.
[04:36]
Carolyn Weaker
How long was it?
[04:37]
Gabby Windy
It was almost two hours.
[04:38]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, my God.
[04:40]
Gabby Windy
So for someone who's not played. Yeah. It's awesome. It's cool. You get a goodie bag. You get a hat that says trader.
[04:46]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, my God. I was gonna bring cloaks for us, but I don't have any. But I wanted.
[04:51]
Gabby Windy
I didn't even. Girl, Girl.
[04:53]
Carolyn Weaker
Did you sell your own?
[04:55]
Gabby Windy
I should have. Because it wouldn't. It would have been nicer. But, like, I haven't even put that dusty thing on in a while. I'm done.
[05:01]
Carolyn Weaker
You have drama.
[05:02]
Gabby Windy
I have, like, good.
[05:04]
Carolyn Weaker
No. You're so traumatized. Okay, wait. I do. I'm. Yes. What?
[05:10]
Gabby Windy
Because it's not. I'm going to forget about it. But it hurt my feelings.
[05:13]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[05:13]
Gabby Windy
Good. When you're like, I don't want to be a traitor.
[05:16]
Carolyn Weaker
I know it's not personal, but I.
[05:17]
Gabby Windy
Heard that you do, so. Somebody told me. And I'm. Truthfully. Because I love to talk shit. Like, someone said. No. Gabby said that. She just didn't want to be a traitor then, but now does.
[05:30]
Carolyn Weaker
Was it Wes?
[05:31]
Gabby Windy
Yes.
[05:32]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes. See? He's a little shit.
[05:34]
Gabby Windy
It was Wes.
[05:34]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. He said that.
[05:35]
Gabby Windy
Not true.
[05:36]
Carolyn Weaker
No. He said if you were to do it again. Which one? Why would I do it again? If they bring people back, you'd be, like, way better at it. Plus, what the fuck? I talk enough shit.
[05:46]
Gabby Windy
Yeah.
[05:46]
Carolyn Weaker
I don't need to go on another TV show to do it. And did it once. It was great. But I was like, maybe. He was like, would you want to be a traitor? I'm like, maybe. What am I going to say to Wes? I'm a chameleon. I tell people what they want to hear. You really do. Why are you.
[06:01]
Gabby Windy
How are you able to do that? Really? Are you serious? I thought you were the most realist person ever.
[06:05]
Carolyn Weaker
I mean, it depends who I'm talking to. I don't want to fight with Wes. I can keep it Real with Boston Rob. See, I can't even tell Wes that even if that was the truth. He's going to run his mouth.
[06:14]
Gabby Windy
He did. He told me. And it hurt me because he said, Gabby, because I said, this is what hurt me during the Nothing else.
[06:20]
Carolyn Weaker
But.
[06:23]
Gabby Windy
I had this dream and it really was keeping me through the game where I'm like, this is going to be fun and I'm going to like. But that wouldn't have been fun for you.
[06:32]
Carolyn Weaker
It is a lot of pressure. It's like, this is the thing. Like, you have experience with strategizing, but even in Survivor, I didn't even think like, a strategist. Like, when Dylan was, like, thinking about me.
[06:45]
Gabby Windy
You did.
[06:45]
Carolyn Weaker
I know, but that's my strategy is I'm. I'm like that in all of life, I can like, whatever pivot. I can take things as they come. Everyone else is planning five steps ahead. Dylan's like, if this happens with this year in this challenge and then this and then this and then this, I'm like, have you ever lived a life like, nothing goes to plan? I got married. As you know, the cat's out of the bag and I've been lying to you this whole time line by omission, that is. Well, if we would have planned a wedding, I would have used the not. So if you're looking for a partner in wedding planning, look no further. The Knot is here to plan with you. You found your lover forever. Now let the Knot help with everything else. The Knot connects you to wedding inspo, vendors, venues, and planning tools you need to make your day. Totally you. And that's what we need. When it comes to your wedding, you've got ideas. We've all seen the Pinterest boards, and the Knot has the connections to make it happen. From gathering inspo and scoring expert advice to finding your venue and figuring out your budget, they'll connect you to all the people, places, and tools you need. This may be the first time you're putting together something this big, this visible, and this meaningful, but the Knot is taking the guesswork out of it. Plus, the Knot makes it easy to keep your guests in the loop so you can focus on what really matters. Celebrating your love with the people who mean the most. And the Knot helps you provide the best guest experience for your family and friends. From collecting their addresses and easy RSVP to providing seamless registry shopping all in one place. The Knot has the most venues and vendors across any wedding site in any location. Let's be real. I've never seen anyone use anything else besides the knot, and I feel like that speaks volumes. Volumes. Let the knot connect you to all of the people, places and tools you need to help bring your wedding to life. Get started at theknot.com audio T-H-E-K-N-O-T.com a u d I o let the knot be your partner in all things wedding planning. Get started@the Knot.com audio that's T-H-G-K-N O T.com audio Again, I got married. Can you even believe? Obviously, Robbie and I went to Vegas for 7.99 wedding. But if we would have had a wedding, I would have had to bridesmaid shop and I would have definitely used Birdie Gray. We all know bridesmaid dress shopping can be a lot. Finding the right color, the right fit, the right price. It shouldn't be this hard. That's why we need to talk about Birdie Gray. Birdie Gray makes it easy. Their dresses start at just $89. Hello. So you can get a gorgeous look without the stress of a hefty price tag. We love to hear it. And if you're second guessing a shade, they offer six free swatches, a total game changer. You can see and feel the fabrics in real life before deciding on your wedding color palette. Their color and fabric options are honestly so impressive. They have chiffon, satin, and velvet. So whether you're a classic bride or bold and trendy, they've got something to fit your wedding vision. And they have size inclusivity. Their dresses range from extra small to 3x, so everyone in your bridal crew can find a fit that makes them feel amazing. Oh, and they just launched groomsmen suits that coordinate with their bridesmaid dresses, starting at just $199. If you're in wedding planning mode, head to birdie gray.com, grab your six free swatches, find the perfect shade, and get your wedding party dressed. Starting at just 89. Stress free, budget friendly and actually cute. Sounds like a win, but I feel like I'd be too nervous as a trader.
[11:04]
Gabby Windy
Are you kidding me?
[11:05]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[11:06]
Gabby Windy
Because you would have been fun and great. No, you would. I honestly think. And you have so much confidence and like you would have been fake. It is not. There's no way. I thought for sure you and then you would be the type. In my opinion, you would have been like. And we would have and it would have been fun and funny instead of like the try hard like, yeah, well, my feelings and it's all good.
[11:27]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I know, Wes, stop running your mouth. I was going to defend him because I actually do think he's funny. But this is the problem, is he's a gossip.
[11:34]
Gabby Windy
He is. But I really like. And he was trying to hurt me a little bit.
[11:38]
Carolyn Weaker
Exactly.
[11:38]
Gabby Windy
I do. Because I said that's the one thing that I was really. He said. He.
[11:42]
Carolyn Weaker
Like, that's a completely different question. If you were to do it again, like, are you sure you wouldn't want to be a traitor? Like, that's a leading question. And then he took it and ran with it.
[11:52]
Gabby Windy
I did. And he hurt.
[11:53]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[11:54]
Gabby Windy
And it worked. And I did. Yeah. It's all good.
[11:57]
Carolyn Weaker
Like, what the fuck? I was talking a lot of shit with Boston Rob. He's such a good gossip.
[12:04]
Gabby Windy
He is.
[12:05]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes. He. We had a Kiki. I had two glasses of wine. And by the end, I'm like, are you going to go back and tell everyone he said? And then I'm like, I don't care. I don't care anymore.
[12:15]
Gabby Windy
Who gives a shit?
[12:16]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Where were you talking to him at that dinner? We were sitting on the end, just him and I. And I'm like, great. What the fuck are we gonna talk about? And then like, no, he's fun. Yeah, he's so fun.
[12:26]
Gabby Windy
He's someone out there I hated. And it's the truth. And I was a lot of it, too. I would.
[12:31]
Carolyn Weaker
Well, based on, like. Like, what? Did you hate him before?
[12:35]
Gabby Windy
No, I don't know any of these people when I. And I'm not like Bob literally queening right now. I did not. I truly mean.
[12:41]
Carolyn Weaker
But that was also true.
[12:42]
Gabby Windy
I mean, Bob did not know Dorinda.
[12:45]
Carolyn Weaker
No. Yeah, I don't think so. I don't know. I barely knew Dorinda.
[12:48]
Gabby Windy
But don't you like. Again, I don' that shit. Yeah, but isn't Dorinda, like, famous?
[12:54]
Carolyn Weaker
I mean, she was an OG New York housewife, but, like, I started with Jersey, so I knew who Dolores was because I love her. And I only. Only after did we watch TRA or we do Traders did I rewatch all of the old season of Housewives. And I'm a Stan. I quote her all the time. But before that, I really. I didn't know who Bob the Drag Queen was.
[13:13]
Gabby Windy
I even knew who Bob the. And I don't even watch that shit.
[13:17]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah, I do watch that shit. And I still didn't know who it's. You can exist in the circle. There's so many of us and to know. But I understand she kind of had to like. I think she really did take it personally. It's like, oh, you just like, right. Don't know, Bob.
[13:30]
Gabby Windy
Like, but it was a little much. But I thought I. I did think I'm like, girl, like, because he didn't want to get hate or something. Maybe made that up. I don't. So that is true. He really did not.
[13:41]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[13:42]
Gabby Windy
And not everybody knows who, but I just thought she was like, the famous one.
[13:45]
Carolyn Weaker
I know. I mean, I think she has, like, she has a huge name, but it's like, doesn't everybody in their own circle.
[13:51]
Gabby Windy
In their own circle. So. No, you're right. So, yeah, I didn't know who the hell anyone was. I didn't have any pre existing.
[13:58]
Carolyn Weaker
But you hated Boston Rob during Traders.
[14:00]
Gabby Windy
Yeah, I hated all of them. And so. And I went in there with that addict. And partially this is the truth, because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am still thinking about you being a chameleon, so I wear it on my sleeve. And I had so much anger of like, you're not. Anger is the wrong word.
[14:16]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[14:16]
Gabby Windy
Like, good. I didn't want a man to like.
[14:19]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[14:19]
Gabby Windy
And it was like, the three big Survivor names who've won multiple times. I was annoyed. I already hate men. And it was one of those things where, like, get out of here. I don't want you telling me what to do.
[14:31]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[14:32]
Gabby Windy
And I've seen his season. Dude. I know him. I've never met Boston Rob, but he typically in his games, he'll tell people what to do, and he'll have, like, his little person by the side that just kind of. Is Dylan an idiot or.
[14:43]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah, yeah, you said it, not me. Whatever I didn't want to be.
[14:48]
Gabby Windy
It's true. It's true. And I didn't want to fucking be that. And so when he was like, yeah, it triggered me everything. Fudgeing triggered me out there. And that's the truth. Good.
[14:57]
Carolyn Weaker
Same. It's so hard. People are like, it's a game. It's a game. Don't take it personal. To an extent.
[15:02]
Gabby Windy
To an extent.
[15:02]
Carolyn Weaker
Really? Like, I don't think Boston Rob plays a personal game.
[15:06]
Gabby Windy
Oh, absolutely.
[15:07]
Carolyn Weaker
Like, he's like, I'm all in for myself. I'll backstab anyone. And that's what I appreciate. It's when you pick and choose. That's like, okay, so it is personal because you're treating me different. I will say, and I told you this. Watching Tony, a Survivor winner grown man, cry after he got kicked off a murder mystery game could dismantle the patriarchy.
[15:27]
Gabby Windy
But that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. And so what I'm seeing, because I'm going out there and like, yeah, I'm gonna murder and do all this because I am an emotional person. I did not think that this game. And that's why I really tried to disconnect. I didn't want to know anyone. I didn't want. I just wanted to.
[15:42]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Because I don't want which going in again. I would maybe have that attitude, but it's so hard because, like, then I can understand. Like, that's what. You kind of have to play above yourself. You have to, like, watch yourself do all this. But it's just natural to make connections. Like, you made friends on survivor.
[15:59]
Gabby Windy
Yeah, well, girl.
[16:02]
Carolyn Weaker
But was it different?
[16:04]
Gabby Windy
I mean.
[16:08]
Carolyn Weaker
Literally, that's why it's like my hair guy was like, are you excited? I'm like, no. He's like, oh.
[16:14]
Gabby Windy
Like.
[16:14]
Carolyn Weaker
But everyone else was like, meeting at the bar, like, having a this and that. He's like, you guys actually like each other. I'm like, I didn't think so.
[16:22]
Gabby Windy
I. I like.
[16:22]
Carolyn Weaker
It's like, I like you, Nikki Krishell.
[16:25]
Gabby Windy
Yeah.
[16:26]
Carolyn Weaker
In Sierra, it was hard for me.
[16:28]
Gabby Windy
And I'm not a natural, like, because I do. I do freak.
[16:31]
Carolyn Weaker
People love the drag queen. He'll get mad.
[16:34]
Gabby Windy
Oh, yeah. I'm like, I terrify people for the first time when I meet them and I think it is because I do. And people. You know how many times people have said, can I About autism here? Yeah, please. Yeah. Yeah. I at this point, like, I am begging for a diagnosis because, like, I'm not. But it's like, well, that would explain things and that would know, like, girl, I'm not autistic.
[16:58]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[16:59]
Gabby Windy
I just don't give a shit. And I talk close sometimes because I want to see if I can freak you out. I know that it's not. It's truly not a. Like, people think that again that I don't have confidence that I'm autistic. I'm not fucking autistic. I'm weird. Okay. But it does creep people out. So on survivor, yes, I was that person. Like, at first, in my faces, in my noises and my. No, I'm just myself and I don't really care.
[17:23]
Carolyn Weaker
And it's more fun that way. When you text me this morning, there's like, there's a protest downstairs and I think I'm going to go. I'm like, why are they protesting something you really Believe in. You're like, no, I just like that shit. This is how. This makes so much sense. Were you always like this? Because I also want to talk about your sobriety. I'm just, like, so interested in sobriety. But. But a part of me is like. Because I really. I want to stop drinking now because. Do you drink a little bit. Not because. Because I'm so depressed that it, like, it will make me depressed. Not even the day after, but, like, a week. Like, and you won't even notice it. But I'm like, how am I supposed to do the crazy like that and have something.
[18:05]
Gabby Windy
You came to the right person. I'm a licensed drug and alcohol counselor and a life coach. But it's the. Here's the truth. First of all, we all know this, and I don't want to sound like, no, please. A drug counselor. But I am.
[18:18]
Carolyn Weaker
Wait, where. What were you addicted to?
[18:20]
Gabby Windy
Everything I could. They used to say, like, if you could smoke, you would. So like, mainly cocaine and alcohol.
[18:26]
Carolyn Weaker
So I would like the classic.
[18:28]
Gabby Windy
Yeah, classic. So alcohol's a depressant. We know this. So it's like, I always think of this, okay, okay, I'm in college or I'm. Whatever. Because I thought that everybody drank too much. Like, when you're young and it's like, no, they.
[18:42]
Carolyn Weaker
Because you've been sober since, like, you're 22.
[18:44]
Gabby Windy
I had lived the life of a person by the. Like. Like, I was going. I was doing that shit. I had my fake id. I was going to bars. I was literally a stripper when I was 16.
[18:54]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, my God. I didn't know.
[18:55]
Gabby Windy
I watched the E. True Hollywood. And this is probably. Is. How old are you again?
[19:01]
Carolyn Weaker
I can't say.
[19:01]
Gabby Windy
Okay.
[19:02]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[19:02]
Gabby Windy
You look like you're 20, so. Girl.
[19:04]
Carolyn Weaker
Thank you.
[19:06]
Gabby Windy
I don't know if you've heard of. You've heard of E. True Hollywood Stories.
[19:09]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Yeah.
[19:10]
Gabby Windy
So Jenna Jameson.
[19:11]
Carolyn Weaker
Okay. Yes.
[19:12]
Gabby Windy
She had an E. True Hollywood Story. And she became a stripper when she was, like, 16. She ripped her braces off. And so I was like, I want that. Which. Why would I fucking think that at 16?
[19:24]
Carolyn Weaker
I think we all did. We. Oh, my God. Same. I thought it was funny. And so did my parents. They'd be like, oh, we'll be like, we just know Gabby's gonna be a stripper. She's an exhibitionist. I'm like, you cannot be telling kids that.
[19:37]
Gabby Windy
No.
[19:37]
Carolyn Weaker
Because then you're gonna want to be.
[19:39]
Gabby Windy
And we do. And we did. And so that's what I did. I was Like, I'm not kidding you. I watched. I watched the E. Drew Hollywood Story. I didn't get them off because, like, I'm not like, oh, you read.
[19:49]
Carolyn Weaker
Wait, I wan. Look at her picture because her. Her name sounds so familiar.
[19:52]
Gabby Windy
She was on the. Oh, no. You wouldn't even know probably that the Blink 182. Like the Enemo of the state.
[19:57]
Carolyn Weaker
Well, this is. I was like, thinking about you because I just love you and, like, your style and all your tattoos and stuff. And I'm like, what is she like? How can I describe it? Because it's not emo. I don't know. It's like I feel like it's punk. I'm like, if I were to think of one thing, it would be Blink182. And you just said it.
[20:15]
Gabby Windy
And then I show up like a fucking 90s princess to the reunion. Like, what was.
[20:19]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I showed. I showed a picture of us in Stylist and they were dying.
[20:23]
Gabby Windy
I was too orange. And that's that podcast.
[20:25]
Carolyn Weaker
They were. No, they loved you.
[20:27]
Gabby Windy
But that's the podcast.
[20:28]
Carolyn Weaker
You looked amazing.
[20:30]
Gabby Windy
I am very proud of the way I looked. But I. I do blame that on. I went. I spray tan. I didn't get to shower for my second round.
[20:37]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[20:37]
Gabby Windy
And it was too dark and I looked like. Or okay.
[20:40]
Carolyn Weaker
I know. Okay. But yes. No. How do you still live a life and experience without. Because I'm like, the only thing I'll ever have to talk about is if.
[20:49]
Gabby Windy
Like, I'm drunk that I want to die right now.
[20:54]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[20:54]
Gabby Windy
Because first of all is triggering.
[20:57]
Carolyn Weaker
No, because then I was like, I need to live. I need something to talk about. So I went to go see a past life therapist. Wait, that was fun. What the.
[21:05]
Gabby Windy
Really? What did you. Girl, you're kidding me right now. I can't even believe this to be true.
[21:09]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I know it's true.
[21:11]
Gabby Windy
You think so? You hold on my brain.
[21:14]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. I wouldn't gossip with Boston Rob if I wasn't two glasses of wine deep.
[21:19]
Gabby Windy
I don't believe. And you know what? I will. Okay, here's. I would never have. Where were we at before that? So, yeah, I tried to rip my braces off. I did that. I live the life of like, do you know what I'm saying? So by the time I was 22, it isn't like the. I'm looking forward to turning 21 and getting and going to the bar. I already lived it. I was in the gutter. So, yeah, I didn't care anymore. So. Okay. But if I Can't fucking have fun sober. There's no fucking point in being sober.
[21:44]
Carolyn Weaker
100.
[21:45]
Gabby Windy
I had a very, like, transitional period of, like, I don't know who the fuck I am. I cut my hair off. I dyed my hair dark. I only wore black and white. And I thought I needed to be which fuck. But I got butterflies. So I'm like, I only wore black and white. And I didn't know who I was. And so I associated, like. Because I've always been, like, the loud one. I've always been the weird one. I've always been, like, be quiet and blah, blah, blah. And it was almost like I then started associating that with, like, drug use and alcohol use. So I felt like I needed to, like, be a whole different person because that means that I'm like. Like I have to change everything about myself. And so I thought I had to change my personality too. Because I blamed my personality on, like, drugs and alcohol. Does that make sense?
[22:25]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[22:25]
Gabby Windy
Because. Okay, So I get sober and I'm like, I gotta cut my hair. I gotta dye it dark. I gotta.
[22:30]
Carolyn Weaker
I gotta be professional. Yes.
[22:32]
Gabby Windy
And I gotta be, like, professional. And I wanted to talk.
[22:36]
Carolyn Weaker
I would. It would make me go the other way. Like, maybe I should shave my head because I have nothing to live for.
[22:41]
Gabby Windy
I did that too. But only half my head. And I died.
[22:44]
Carolyn Weaker
It flew, but it was.
[22:46]
Gabby Windy
It was a period. But only half. Back when that was like, a fucking thing.
[22:50]
Carolyn Weaker
You've done it all. And I love that.
[22:53]
Gabby Windy
It's fun. You gotta try it.
[22:55]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[22:55]
Gabby Windy
So I was like, okay, I'm gonna discover myself. I learned that, like, first of all, I did. I did a lot of fucking work because we have to. So I dug and I did. I dug deep. And I fucking journaled. And I went to therapy and I did treatment. And I really looked at everything I hated about myself. And I asked myself, why do I hate that? Why? And I did. I learned that. That I never would have thought anything was wrong with me unless people. But people pointed out. People are pointing out this. This because we wouldn't. When we're growing up, I wouldn't know that I talk like a boy or crackle my.
[23:25]
Carolyn Weaker
Like.
[23:25]
Gabby Windy
Because people would tease my voice. I. Or my faces. I didn't know that I looked like I had a stroke until.
[23:31]
Carolyn Weaker
You don't.
[23:32]
Gabby Windy
I don't. But people will say that.
[23:34]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. It's.
[23:35]
Gabby Windy
So if you didn't.
[23:35]
Carolyn Weaker
Just because you make funny space. But same.
[23:38]
Gabby Windy
Or she's autistic or something's wrong with her. What's what's wrong with me?
[23:41]
Carolyn Weaker
No, literally, I had some. I had somebody first of all on Google right now. If you goog, Google is gabby. Wendy. The third search down will be disabled.
[23:52]
Gabby Windy
Mine's either mentally ill, disabled, autistic. What is wrong with that was like the top search thing for me during Survivor is what is wrong with Carolyn? Nothing.
[24:03]
Carolyn Weaker
Have you never met somebody with the personality? And that's the truth. Who are you hanging out with?
[24:08]
Gabby Windy
It's the truth.
[24:09]
Carolyn Weaker
Shocker. I'm lazy. Shocker. I'm too lazy to put on that stick of deodorant under my armpits, especially when it's not gonna work at all. So you're telling me I'm just wasting my time. But then there's Lumi. It comes in a cream option, which is my favorite. So you can rub it under your armpits like a lotion. And I do lotion my body after the shower. It's one thing I do swear by. I need soft skin for my baby, Robbie. So then in the same and the same thing and the same fell swoop, I'll put on some Lumi cream deodorant because it works. Lumi is the number one whole body deodorant formula. It's safe to use anywhere on your body. Yes, I'm talking pits under boobs, thigh folds, belly buttons. Mm, you heard me. Butt cracks, vulvas and feet. And it's clinically proven to block odor all day and control odor for up to 72 hours. This is how I like to spend my time on a product that works. Lumi deodorant has many product options. It comes in a solid deodorant stick if you're into that. It's formulated and powered by mandelic acid to stop odor before it starts. Sweat control deodorant 72 hour odor and sweat control for pits, privates and beyond Spray deodorant. Aluminum free and ideal for hard to reach places. All products are baking soda free and paraben free. You can choose from a variety of fresh, bright scents like clean tangerine, lavender, sage and toasted coconut. Say less. Lume starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping as a special offer for listeners. New customers get 15 all Lumi products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15 off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals over 40% off their starter pack. Use code gabbywindy for 15 off your first purchase at lumideodorant.com that's code gabbywindy@L U M E D E o d o r-a n t dot com. Please support our show and tell them we sent you Smell fresher, stay drier, and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lumi Me also, I got an email once on the Bachelor, and it was very, like, seemingly sweet, and she was like, thank you so much. My daughter also has a speech impediment. I don't. Yes. Like, what do you mean? Because same. Because I have a different kind of voice. Because maybe I speak at a cadence.
[26:58]
Gabby Windy
That happens to me. Is that what it's called, Cadence? Because I do that too. Where I'll be like. And I've always. I crack my V. It is. I don't have a soothing, cute voice. And I know that I. And I say that to my.
[27:09]
Carolyn Weaker
No. But I love it. Even, like, sometimes yours is soothing, though. Oh, my God. Thank you. But even with years, like, at the end of every sentence or like the drag queen. Or you'll be like at the end. But I love it.
[27:22]
Gabby Windy
And I don't know, like, you don't notice this shit, but people do. They think they'll. You're something you have. Yeah, I get it all the time. Like, here. Here's my daughter. She's autistic. Thank you for being the voice. And I'm like, that's why I say I wish at this point d ignose me so I can be the voice. But I, like, again, I don't want to, like, misdi. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed. Like, diagnose me. Anyway, I get it all the time. So I did all the work. I did all the. And I was like this. And I learned how to love myself because, again, I've always had that where people point. So I get really pissed off. I do. When people are like, get some confidence or do. No, I do. I know who I am. I just still hurts me. And it takes me a minute to, like, get back on course. But when it comes to the fun. Yeah, fuck that.
[28:09]
Carolyn Weaker
It.
[28:09]
Gabby Windy
Was it hard at first? Yeah. I didn't go. And I didn't go to, like, weddings and start dancing or I didn't go to If I. Because that's the thing, too. I had to, like, separate. I couldn't go to, like, bars and blah, blah, blah right away.
[28:22]
Carolyn Weaker
That's how I. Yeah. I'm like, well, my social life go down the drain because. But it's also annoying. And like that's how it is. Kind of being gay too is you're so focused on how like the other person's going to feel. I'm like going to feel weird if I order a diet Coke. But actually it's like after one glass of wine, I'm tired anyway. My. My brain slow. I'm not on it. Like this is only fun for you.
[28:43]
Gabby Windy
You gotta be selfish. And I learned that and this is the thing. And I like, that's why like again, even on Traders, like I don't give a. I can remember we went down and we're. It was before a mission and we're waiting and everyone was sitting on the couches by the pool table or whatever over there. Everyone. And then people are piling in, sitting on each other's laps. I'm like. So I go and I sit all by myself over. And Dylan's like, are you okay over that? I'm fine. I was crying about something. I was. But I'm like, I'm fine. I don't. But I don't need to like be in. I'm not gonna be half my ass off a chair just so I can look like I'm a part of a group. I'm not and I don't care.
[29:24]
Carolyn Weaker
That's what I'm leaning into too. Like. Because I'm afraid people will think I'm antisocial or people will think I'm a bitch or something. But it's like now I actually want to have a reason to be a bitch. Please, please push me the wrong way. I don't want. Because it's. It's just better for me. I don't want.
[29:39]
Gabby Windy
It's better for your mental health. It's better for your like. Like I don't give a. Do I. Again, I hurt night. But I feel like people think that I'm way more like self conscious and than I am. I'm not.
[29:51]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I actually think it's confident. Like I love that you're like this hurt my feelings because. Because you should be able to say that like to your friends and every little thing instead of like harboring it.
[30:01]
Gabby Windy
And I don't. And so a lot of that too is like my crying and my over emotion. Cuz I used to hold it all in when I got sober. I said I will never do that again. And I don't. And I won't. And I think even at the round I'm like. And I'll not cry as much. And I'm like, actually I'll Cry more because, like, fuck you. That's my trauma talking.
[30:20]
Carolyn Weaker
Let it.
[30:21]
Gabby Windy
And I'm not gonna let them know I'm not holding it in, whether it's a game or not. So I learned how to have fun sober, and I did that by fucking just. Again, it's awkward. You think? Can I get up or no.
[30:30]
Carolyn Weaker
Right. Right now?
[30:31]
Gabby Windy
Yeah, please. Am I able? Yeah, it's one of those things. And I was at a concert once, probably Robin Thicke.
[30:38]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, love. Yes. He's probably a pervert, but yeah. See. Oh, here we go.
[30:44]
Gabby Windy
He was like, you. You dance to the beat of your own drum.
[30:47]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, yeah.
[30:48]
Gabby Windy
And I was. Because I was dancing and I don't know how to dance.
[30:51]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[30:52]
Gabby Windy
That's the point is I do this thing. And I told him. I let the.
[30:55]
Carolyn Weaker
Wait, you were ha. You were talking to Robin Thicke or who's.
[31:00]
Gabby Windy
She's passed away now, but.
[31:01]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, my God.
[31:01]
Gabby Windy
Was sleeping with Lil Bow Wow. She's a lesbian, but okay. Hook up with Lil Bow Wow. Just.
[31:06]
Carolyn Weaker
See, this is what I'm saying. How can you do that sober?
[31:10]
Gabby Windy
And I was sober. She was so. And that's the thing we would do is she was my best. Like, we would do crazy freaky, and people would think we were up, but, like.
[31:18]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[31:19]
Gabby Windy
Not what's up, Bow Wow. So it didn't matter. We would. Okay. So I would be, like, dancing, and he's like, you dance the beat of your own drum. And I'm like. I'm just letting the music take control of my body, and I can't do that. Like, I didn't just right away go into places. And, like, it took practice.
[31:37]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[31:37]
Gabby Windy
I'm not dancer, and I'm. Even now. I thought I'd be able to give some moves. It's not. I just.
[31:43]
Carolyn Weaker
Too much pressure. Yes.
[31:44]
Gabby Windy
And so that's my point, is I just slowly ease my way in. And now here's what I've realized. People will stare and people will. This is what I tell people that I even, like, meet with me on my sessions and shit. When I go into places. Because if I go in and I am all over the place because, like, girls, I don't look at people. Because if I give myself a moment, I'm gonna start, like, looking at you, and I'm gonna be like, let's say you're looking at. Let's see. You're, like, looking me up and down. I'm gonna be like, did I wear something wrong? Or why are they looking at me? Or what did I do? Or I'm ugly or.
[32:17]
Carolyn Weaker
I know it makes you so insecure. I feel like it's also just like being a woman.
[32:21]
Gabby Windy
Yes.
[32:21]
Carolyn Weaker
I'm like, what, are you judging me?
[32:23]
Gabby Windy
Yes.
[32:24]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[32:24]
Gabby Windy
So I don't do that anymore. I don't look at anybody. And I walk in and I just. And I tell people. And it helps that I'm tall, but I walk straight ahead. And. Because I don't want anyone to stop and talk to me. So I'm like, off. But I walk in straight ahead. And then I don't give myself the opportunity to, like, create dialogue in my head of, like, what's going on? And they don't like me. I don't care. And I'm walking in. Same thing with dancing. I'm going to go out on that dance floor because I like to dance. Truly true. Like, it is fun.
[32:54]
Carolyn Weaker
Did you not learn nothing as a stripper girl? Learn how to dance?
[32:58]
Gabby Windy
I was awful. And I did not even know how to dance in heels. And I'd flip them off. But you have to have heels on. On. I literally quit, though, as soon as they. They made me, like, fill out, like, a Social Security, like. Yeah, because they're legit. You are actually a worker.
[33:12]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, yeah. You signed that W2.
[33:14]
Gabby Windy
And I'm like, I can't have myself because I had a fake name. Annika McCormick.
[33:18]
Carolyn Weaker
I love it. Yes. I love it.
[33:23]
Gabby Windy
Why would I have, like, a but McCormick?
[33:25]
Carolyn Weaker
I know. That was very thought out. I went into a Hooters once in college because same. We have, like, the same thing going on, whatever it is.
[33:32]
Gabby Windy
Yeah, but.
[33:33]
Carolyn Weaker
And I was like, obviously, I want to make money. The uniforms, iconic. I went in to apply and, like, there were so many men there, like, breaking their necks already. And I walked out crying. I'm like, I cannot. But, like, I wish I did.
[33:46]
Gabby Windy
No, you don't, because you'd probably. You'd have years of trauma and you probably would have become addicted to drugs. So you don't. Because it really. That's the type of shit. That's why, like, people will joke or, like, do an only fans or do a. Hell, no. That's why I don't, like, do the stuff that I do anymore. And I take, like, you know, sex so seriously, or I take. Take sometimes. And then I. I don't because that was a lot of trauma. I. It doesn't feel good at the end of the day. I. And it's crazy, too, because my boobs are fake and I'll always have them out. But I get mad if people Look, I know.
[34:16]
Carolyn Weaker
Well, no, but don't you look at them? No, because you got them for you and not everyone else.
[34:23]
Gabby Windy
And that's true.
[34:24]
Carolyn Weaker
Everyone's like, dylan's biceps are taking up all the real estate. I'm like, what about Carolyn's tit?
[34:29]
Gabby Windy
Like, no. I'm so sick of people. Wasn't he a heartthrob? I'm sorry. I'm like, I don't look and I. I don.
[34:38]
Carolyn Weaker
You know, we're just like. It's just obviously, girls have to do, like, 10 times more. It's like, we have to look good, we have to get our hair done, and we have to be. Have a personality, and we have to go through years of trauma.
[34:49]
Gabby Windy
No, it's true. It's. It's true. So be glad you weren't hooting around, which I don't even know how. I don't even know how. That place is still in business and they still have them.
[35:01]
Carolyn Weaker
My friend's boyfriend just went for lunch the other day.
[35:04]
Gabby Windy
Why? For lunch? Why?
[35:06]
Carolyn Weaker
You can't tell me they're chicken wings are that good.
[35:08]
Gabby Windy
They're not. It's gross. And I don't even know. Our strip club still in business. Yeah.
[35:12]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, my God. Totally. Which. It's like, to each their own. I am no very pro. Sex work. I think they need to be regulated. They're the original minors.
[35:21]
Gabby Windy
It's working with men.
[35:23]
Carolyn Weaker
They need to be unionized because the canary is singing.
[35:27]
Gabby Windy
It's.
[35:27]
Carolyn Weaker
They need to be protected.
[35:29]
Gabby Windy
It's too hard.
[35:29]
Carolyn Weaker
Like, it can't. I mean, I want to have a sex worker on so bad just to, like, get, like, their thought process and stuff.
[35:38]
Gabby Windy
I don't want to judge that all of them have trauma and are up and not making their own choices. But, like, yeah, for me, I'm like, get. I can't. And it did me up, and it did make me feel like, what the hell? So my. Okay. Where was it going with this? So, yeah, you don't want to. But again, some people can do that. And then I was not. I became addicted. So learning how to do this sober. You have the best personality. Are you, like, drunk or high right now?
[36:01]
Carolyn Weaker
No.
[36:01]
Gabby Windy
No. Like you. In every. Unless you were doing before, like, you. You. And not a lot of people have that. Okay. Where you can just talk and be fun and funny. You don't. I'm shocked that you feel this way, but when it comes to like, even, like, going out and like, I have said this so many times. It feels so good to be able to be this freaky and be sober and people like keep questioning if I'm on drugs.
[36:27]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[36:27]
Gabby Windy
I love it. But it doesn't. It. It didn't happen overnight. It comes with like just not giving a. I'm going to go dance. I'm going to go. But I don't go and look at the reaction of other people because I know what they're probably looking like. They're probably side eyeing me. They're probably like what the. I don't care.
[36:45]
Carolyn Weaker
But it's just cuz they're jealous. They wish they could do that. It's like when I see people literally being able to enjoy themselves like at a concert or really dancing like you like so freaky. I'm like I wish I'm sh.
[36:58]
Gabby Windy
I. I'm having a hard time believing this.
[37:00]
Carolyn Weaker
I know you're giving me a lot of confidence. I think it's most. It is like the. What would other people think? Not just like of me but I don't know like would almost like would they feel like bad for me or think something of me but like I never. I didn't even know like when you told people whatever on the Cassie or Silver we didn't drink that much. But it was never. I'm like, oh, Carolyn's just always having a good time. Like the same. I'm like okay. But then some people are like I'm sober and I'm like we. You must have really been through it. Yeah, but it's like the way you. It's like the way you talk about it and the way you carry it. You know, you just like don't even think twice. You're just like I don't drink, I don't give. Oh yeah.
[37:43]
Gabby Windy
And it's nothing. But again this all takes. And it's like you, you teach people how to treat you and not all of them listen. But I had that awkwardness or people where I would think like oh, and I'll tell people like I don't give a. If you're drinking. I don't want you sloppy. I don't want like I don't want to be around that if you're like falling on me and. Right. But again I know how to excuse myself. I know when on. But I don't. It was never fun for me. And I do, I think like growing or growing up. Growing up being a drunk. Like growing up 13 when I realized.
[38:13]
Carolyn Weaker
I had a problem.
[38:15]
Gabby Windy
That sounds terrible.
[38:16]
Carolyn Weaker
I started drinking at 13. I was throwing up out of my nose.
[38:19]
Gabby Windy
Exactly. That's what I'm Saying, like, these. I have memories like that, too, where it's like. And we think it's, like, normal. Or I did at least think it was.
[38:26]
Carolyn Weaker
No, same. It's the Midwest or something. I don't know what went wrong, but I assume everyone was like that, but I guess not.
[38:34]
Gabby Windy
No.
[38:34]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[38:35]
Gabby Windy
And it's like. Like, oh, we're gonna go. We went through a breakup or something, and let's go out and, like, party and celebrate. And I would be that one. Like, puking on the floor in the bathroom stall, crying, like, going through a breakup. Like, let's go celebrate and, like, get over it.
[38:50]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes.
[38:51]
Gabby Windy
No. I would feel like, yeah, alcohol's a depressant. I never felt better. So if you're having those feelings, like, Like, I always have said, like, what does alcohol, like, do for you? What does it. Okay, it girl.
[39:03]
Carolyn Weaker
It makes me a little more uninhibited or inhibited. And that's another thing. It's like, if we're going to go out for a drink and have fun, I'm afraid other people are already thinking that I can't have fun. So then I think about it like, that. I know. I take everything on, internalize it, personalize it, project it, whatever the fudge you want to call. I'm shocked. I know you don't, like, no. Because if everyone's sober, then it's like, whatever. But then. And it kind of depends. I don't know. I think I need to change, obviously, my mindset, because I really do. You're funner than.
[39:36]
Gabby Windy
Is that not a word? You're funnier. I don't care. Like, no, you're more fun than mature. Are you? I'm. Again, I'll get over it. But I'm shocked that you ever even had these thoughts. You don't need any out. Like, are you kidding me? You. Like, again, Unless you were drunk every day, like, but even a little bit, or tipsy or whatever. You have a great personality. That not. And that's why to you, like, you stand out to me. I've been. When I did all my interviews, I was like, gabby is the total package. And I'm like, it's gonna seem like I'm hitting on her like, Robbie. Like, I'm not like. But I was. I was like, like, truly.
[40:12]
Carolyn Weaker
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[42:33]
Jordan
Hi guys, it's Jordan from the Balance Blonde Soul on Fire podcast. On my show, we go deep on all things astrology, awakening, motherhood, channeling, healing, and so much more. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease and the healing journey I embarked on at that time set me on the path to radical awakening. Let's just say I had no choice but to change my energy and that opened me up to the most beautiful healing of my life. On my show, you can expect to feel like you're sitting in my living room chatting with old friends. Tune in every Wednesday to connect and hang, Hang on the balance, Bond so on fire.
[43:08]
Gabby Windy
Or there's the people who are like cast on the show and, or. And it's like they're just this one dimensional whatever. You're everything you not. A lot of people have that like, oh, personality, like, whatever. That's not with alcohol. You don't need that. And are you kidding me? That's the thing too. Throughout my journey, I had to cut a lot of people. I had to separate myself. And it's like there was a lot of times of loneliness or I can't do that. Stress of like thinking if, like, well, what are they thinking? Are they gonna think I'm boring? Are they gonna. You. No. I'm literally like, this is me. I'm gonna have fun. You don't need to worry about it. But people used to not invite me to things. They would think like, well, there's gonna be alcohol there. I know that. I understand that and I. It's just teaching people, like, I'm okay with it. I know that, like the world didn't stop and whatever. I am able to assert my boundaries and what I'm comfortable with. But like, yeah, that's the girl.
[44:02]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah, I know. No, you're giving me no wonder. No, you're not. No, you're giving me a confidence because this is what you need to hear. It's like. And, well, because I had bronchitis, everyone knows I have not shut the up about it. It was so crazy. No, please. And this is the only thing that's like, normally I'll go out and at least have like one or two drinks. I'm like, oh, whatever. But I didn't because I knew I had to get better for this. And I was like, why am I so happy? Why am I grateful for my life for once? What has been the big change? And it's like, because it's not like I'm binge drinking every. Yeah, it's not. It's just like the depressant lasts a while for me because I'm already. There's already some fucked up shit in there. I don't have enough dopamine.
[44:48]
Gabby Windy
It's true.
[44:48]
Carolyn Weaker
So, like it hits longer.
[44:50]
Gabby Windy
And if you don't fucking, like, girl, if you're not like, for me, like, I'm not having just one or I'm not. So, like, what the fuck is the point?
[44:59]
Carolyn Weaker
Like, right?
[44:59]
Gabby Windy
What is the point?
[45:01]
Carolyn Weaker
Doesn't even do anything.
[45:02]
Gabby Windy
But you feel like you can have fun sober, right? Or like, could you get up and start dance? I feel like you fudgeing are that type. You would be dancing when no One.
[45:09]
Carolyn Weaker
Was, yeah, think I would feel like, oh, I have to make myself. I mean.
[45:15]
Gabby Windy
Yeah.
[45:16]
Carolyn Weaker
Which you do a little bit. And then it's fine once you start. But it's like I get real judgy as fuck. Everybody else is drinking around me. Then I'm going to sit back and be like, I'm shocked.
[45:27]
Gabby Windy
I don't even believe that this is you. I really like. And I get it. But like that's the thing too. And you know, there's like.
[45:34]
Carolyn Weaker
Which it's like not actually because actually I like being around drunk people because I know they're not going to remember anything, you know, So I can like think and say whatever I. I want and it doesn't matter. I know I just need to channel that more.
[45:47]
Gabby Windy
If. If that's all it is is like. And it. If it's even just makes you feel depressed in the slightest for a sec. Bye. Bye. Like that's it.
[45:57]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[45:58]
Gabby Windy
Who the. And you just don't need it. There are so many people who need it and I'm begging them to be drinking like, please loosen up you. Or like get a personality or. That's not right. You.
[46:11]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Because then I'm confused and I'm like, how do other people just like drink? So like willy nilly me judging the whole audience, like. But I mean, I guess it probably doesn't affect them. It's just like Robbie's like, you're just not meant to be drinking.
[46:27]
Gabby Windy
What happens when you're drinking? No, just you, the feelings. And you don't like. Like the after.
[46:31]
Carolyn Weaker
I don't. While I'm drinking, it's fine because I get loose as a goose and I say things that to Wes that I didn't even think was bad that get around. So imagine the I was saying to Boston Rob that if I don't know what happened at the Lakers game, but somebo in particular might not be happy with me.
[46:48]
Gabby Windy
Ooh.
[46:51]
Carolyn Weaker
I only talk. People are like, I didn't know this was serious. I'm like, how. How is this not serious? Plus, I think it's fun to kind of have one enemy. I want to have a frenemy.
[47:01]
Gabby Windy
Yeah.
[47:01]
Carolyn Weaker
It.
[47:02]
Gabby Windy
It. Who cares In Boston Rob talks so much.
[47:05]
Carolyn Weaker
I know. I'm like, he loves and he was laughing at every single thing. And I'm like, no, you're encouraging me at this point. You're egging me on and I'm taking the bait and I'm taking it.
[47:15]
Gabby Windy
He's fun. He's. He' and I truly. And I didn't Again, because I did judge him and all that bullshit, because I do that, even though I don't like to be judged and none of us do. But he's fun, and he's not even in. It's not one of those things either. I don't even notice a. Well, I do notice when he's been drinking, but I'm saying, like, there's not like a. He needs some alcohol in him to be fun. Same with, like, there are people who, like, please drink. He's. He's got a good personality. I. What? Yes.
[47:42]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. No, I know. I keep talking about him at home because I'm like, babe, you'll never believe. Like. And Robbie' Is he married? I'm like, he's married with kids. She's like, do you like him? And I'm like, stop. She like. Because me, you and him took a picture at the reunion, and she zoomed in on him. She's like, do you. I'm like, oh, my God. Boston Rob.
[48:04]
Gabby Windy
People been talking about him.
[48:06]
Carolyn Weaker
They love him. And Jeremy. I mean, oh, my God. Okay. I'm like, people are going to want to know about the traitors, but I feel like, wait, what else is there? I mean, I'm trying to. To think.
[48:18]
Gabby Windy
Can I say this? Or is this too. You talk, though.
[48:22]
Carolyn Weaker
I talk so much. Yeah.
[48:26]
Gabby Windy
I'm. I. Here's the deal, too. Because I was like. Because I said to Chris, shell, are we bringing this up at the reunion? Are we bringing. And I came ready, like, we're gonna talk about. And I'm not kidding you. And I don't know if that's just, like, being a healthy person or wouldn't know, or, like, journaling or maybe, like, my therapy. I don't know. But I was just. Because that's how I do things where I cry. I like you, and I have my moment. It's true. And then I'm like. I wake up and I'm just like, okay. And then I forget and I'm done. But it does. It does. I have a meltdown. And then a few days later or.
[49:03]
Carolyn Weaker
A week, I'm the same. Because you're a Capricorn.
[49:06]
Gabby Windy
Yeah.
[49:06]
Carolyn Weaker
And me and Boston Rob is.
[49:08]
Gabby Windy
Oh, he is, too.
[49:09]
Carolyn Weaker
Isn't that crazy? And I feel like we were all pretty. Pretty good and, like, play, like, you know, kind of similar. I'm like, this makes so much sense. But same. I'm sensitive.
[49:18]
Gabby Windy
I'm sensitive as. And I can't stand people, and I want to talk. Yeah. But then it's like, all right, I'm done. And I felt like with Danielle, it's like beating a dog. Like a dead dog or something.
[49:28]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[49:28]
Gabby Windy
Not calling Danielle a dog. I'm saying, like, no, it's not fun anymore to be like, this has crossed the line into, like, I'm over it. I'm just done. So I did come prepared. But what was the question? What were we saying?
[49:40]
Carolyn Weaker
I don't even know. Oh, you were like, chrishell, are we going to talk about this?
[49:44]
Gabby Windy
Talk about all this at the thing. And I just. It. I was just over it.
[49:48]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. The reunion was not it. Everyone looked incredible. Chic as fuck. Dolly Parton chic. You look amazing. And you know there's. And you know there's rumors that she has full sleeves, which is why she's always in long sleeves.
[50:05]
Gabby Windy
No way.
[50:06]
Carolyn Weaker
And. And she's gay.
[50:07]
Gabby Windy
I did not know.
[50:09]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes. No. Like, you are. And she's a Capricorn.
[50:12]
Gabby Windy
I had no idea.
[50:13]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, my God.
[50:15]
Gabby Windy
I go. Make me look like a drag queen. That's what the style. And I had someone who, like, does make it for RuPaul's Drag Race. So I'm like, the most like, girl, you looked at.
[50:24]
Carolyn Weaker
You didn't look. Drag.
[50:26]
Gabby Windy
A little. Yeah. Those legs. I. I looked in the mirror and I did feel a little like, girl.
[50:32]
Carolyn Weaker
No. Because drag is the eyebrows. I could not take my eyes off Bob the drag queen's eyebrows. I'm like, like, ah.
[50:38]
Gabby Windy
I made him fix them. They were weird at first. Yes. And it was like, girl, It. It was so whatever. But Dolores, can I say good.
[50:48]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[50:49]
Gabby Windy
I was very shocked. Are we not allowed to talk on here weekend? No.
[50:53]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes, of course.
[50:53]
Gabby Windy
So Dolores was saying that people are, like, saying, like, how dumb she is online about moves. I. Here's all I'm going to say about this. I just didn't think that the housewives. Any housewife.
[51:04]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[51:04]
Gabby Windy
I thought that they were. And this is maybe a judgment. I thought that they were so used to people talking about them.
[51:10]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[51:11]
Gabby Windy
That they didn't read it or they didn't. I had no idea. Somebody like Dolores.
[51:15]
Carolyn Weaker
Because anyone who knows Dolores, though, it is one of those things that's like, oh, if you watch their season, it's like, if you've gotten to know Dolores through the have swipes, she always finds she's a Capricorn. This is so crazy. She always finds a way. She's loyal as one. So Danielle sunk her claws into her early, and then she, like, couldn't. Because even then she probably. And she. I. She just didn't want to Be there. She was like, please, like every other second she was like, send me home, murder me.
[51:42]
Gabby Windy
It was a lot of work.
[51:44]
Carolyn Weaker
So like I don't think she was as invested but she somehow kind of always removes herself from. She's not going head to head with people.
[51:52]
Gabby Windy
Well, she was just saying or talking about comments online. And this is where do you search your name or search what people are saying? No, let me say it. So jit so with her I. I can't be trusted with these. I didn't think the Housewives gave a like because I don't search my name because it's way too much trauma. But like. And I don't know like the things that are saying.
[52:12]
Carolyn Weaker
She was telling me about Reddit while we were filming. Why what they were saying? Yeah, because they had a really crazy season. But what were you going to say? I keep interrupting.
[52:20]
Gabby Windy
I'm just shocked that the how and I'm judging. I'm saying I'm. I'm using her as a representation of them all. I have no idea. But I just thought people who have been on a show like the Housewives didn't give a fuck about.
[52:32]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Because you have to not give a fudge if you're on the Housewives. But the thing is, is is that I do feel like the online culture and like whatever it makes it less fun because you don't know. You have to be so safe. You don't know what people are going to drag you for. Even though it's like it just shouldn't matter. Like not obviously it shouldn't matter but it's like it doesn't have to be personal.
[52:53]
Gabby Windy
And Dolores, that's. That's what is like I very like puzzling to me because I'm like you the like again at the. This is a TV show.
[53:01]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[53:01]
Gabby Windy
And people like do we really give a about. I guess there's certain types of people who are watching for the strategy. Are they. This is for. This is entertainment.
[53:12]
Carolyn Weaker
Right.
[53:12]
Gabby Windy
And that's it. So like I told her who gives it like, dude, you're not a strategist. It's like you don't need to be.
[53:18]
Carolyn Weaker
Right and like you need them all. Obviously it's creating conversation. When something makes you feel something, that's art. They're feeling something from Dolores and that's artistic.
[53:31]
Gabby Windy
It's fudgeing. True. So like girl, I was shocked. I'm like, you're reading this shit.
[53:36]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Gives off but everyone but like the reason. Whatever. It's like, yeah all her fans. But it's like, if you're her true fan, they're not gonna turn on you now. And literally it's a game. This is the most innocent game. Nobody's gonna be like, you were bad on traitors.
[53:50]
Gabby Windy
That's what they're saying. She said, yeah. And I'm like, you care?
[53:53]
Carolyn Weaker
I was like, yeah, give a fuck.
[53:55]
Gabby Windy
That they say you're bad.
[53:56]
Carolyn Weaker
Literally. Like, how is that supposed to get to me, please?
[54:00]
Gabby Windy
But yeah, like I'm not a housewife and I have no idea.
[54:03]
Carolyn Weaker
I know. Let's see if I have any other trader related questions.
[54:07]
Gabby Windy
But I'm over it too, to be honest.
[54:09]
Carolyn Weaker
I know I am.
[54:11]
Gabby Windy
It's just not. Do you get recognized everywhere you go? How do you handle that?
[54:15]
Carolyn Weaker
I mean, you too. I don't ever want to be like mean or anything.
[54:20]
Gabby Windy
Like it is. It's like for me, especially if you're going to tell me about like some like traumatic event or story. What am I supposed to do? But I was literally. I was at a bar once lot for you and people, this person. And they're opening up and pretty soon we're both crying and we're hugging and it's like, I gotta go home. And so it's just. But I have a heart too. But it's like this is. It's really, really hard. Like. And. And I did. I started to get to a point because. And again, I'm not like some. I'm not. I don't. I'm not a celebrity. I don't think of myself as. I don't.
[54:51]
Carolyn Weaker
Uhhuh. I call myself a D list. Do you?
[54:54]
Gabby Windy
Oh, are you D?
[54:55]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[54:55]
Gabby Windy
Then I'm like. I'd say like Z.
[54:58]
Carolyn Weaker
No, we're both D list girl.
[55:00]
Gabby Windy
I'm not. I'm not on the same level. I'm trying.
[55:02]
Carolyn Weaker
No, stop.
[55:03]
Gabby Windy
I'm. I gotta get more followers.
[55:05]
Carolyn Weaker
You're an icon.
[55:06]
Gabby Windy
I got. I've gained a lot of followers.
[55:08]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes. Yeah.
[55:10]
Gabby Windy
But I am going to. Good. I'm trying to grow, but I just. I don't like the attention. I don't like people touching me and.
[55:16]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[55:17]
Gabby Windy
So it makes me just stay in and not want to go anywhere.
[55:19]
Carolyn Weaker
Nervous that too many people like me now.
[55:21]
Gabby Windy
Really?
[55:22]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes. Now after last episode. We're recording early at the round table now. But it's like. Because I want an equal amount. I want the people who don't get it not to get it. I want to piss off the right people. Literally the right and the right. But it's like if too many people like me, they're gonna be disappointed. They're gonna come here and be so pissed at me. Don't. Just like, I. I don't want. I don't need everyone to love me. This is like too much pressure. I need to be accepted for who I am.
[55:50]
Gabby Windy
Yes.
[55:50]
Carolyn Weaker
But then the more eyes like the scarier.
[55:53]
Gabby Windy
But I would like some of you look. I'm looking for some.
[55:57]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[55:58]
Gabby Windy
Like don't touch me. Or like you can talk to me. But like, good. Like you don't want to disappoint people.
[56:04]
Carolyn Weaker
No. And. But it's inevitably going to be happen. It's going to happen. We live our lives online. Look at the ones who've lived the longest. Trisha Paytas 10 years. Look what she's gone through.
[56:15]
Gabby Windy
Yes.
[56:15]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, like, come on.
[56:17]
Gabby Windy
It's true.
[56:18]
Carolyn Weaker
Older.
[56:19]
Gabby Windy
But you're God. I'm like, I'm learning a lot.
[56:22]
Carolyn Weaker
Wait, would you just like, what do you think was more cutthroat Survivor or traitors?
[56:26]
Gabby Windy
Is that easy or hard fudgeing traitors. But it's only because. It's only because of Daniel. Not even. Not even the personal. Like get personal. It's the. And maybe this is my own trauma that like you should have. Because that's what Derek said is like I could tell that you had. Or what did he say? I said after? I can't remember. But he was like, you could tell that you had been going through some. And I'm like, yeah, yeah.
[56:49]
Carolyn Weaker
But wouldn't everyone.
[56:50]
Gabby Windy
But I. I guess I just wear it so loudly.
[56:54]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[56:54]
Gabby Windy
That like. But again, it's like we all have our Right. Whatever. Good. And I hate when people say like, you shouldn't play these games or you should. I am just fine. I'm strong as hell. Just let me cry while I'm doing it.
[57:07]
Carolyn Weaker
You.
[57:07]
Gabby Windy
I hate it. I hate it.
[57:09]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[57:09]
Gabby Windy
This game 100%. And it's because I think expectations of. And I remember telling you this, like, I thought this was supposed to be fun.
[57:18]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[57:18]
Gabby Windy
And you were like, I talked to someone before and they said this was really fun.
[57:22]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh yeah. All of production was like, everyone gets so into the game. They love it. It's so much fun. But it was the same, like. And I feel like just being a traitor would be exhausting at the end. Like, I feel like at the end Phaedra was just so tired.
[57:35]
Gabby Windy
Absolutely.
[57:36]
Carolyn Weaker
You know, so at some point you get so tired of defending yourself because people were onto her roundtable after round table. Like, I'm sure she wasn't. She was probably doing the quiet thing.
[57:46]
Gabby Windy
Yeah. But even just the dur it and being there, way fudgeing later than y'all, it's like. It is hard. It's fucking hard. Did you. When I left, did you hear my boot on? Did I kick your door? Oh, you really do follow the rules, girl. Oh, God.
[58:04]
Carolyn Weaker
Come on. I don't want them coming to me. I do. Sometimes I do follow rules.
[58:09]
Gabby Windy
I'm shocked because Wes does too. Because I don't.
[58:12]
Carolyn Weaker
And no. And you know what? And they need a little of both.
[58:17]
Gabby Windy
Is it because I don't have as big of a following? You can say it. Do you think that's why?
[58:21]
Carolyn Weaker
No. I was just so scared into submission with Bachelor.
[58:25]
Gabby Windy
It's crazy.
[58:26]
Carolyn Weaker
Really. That's where I learned. And I'm like, whatever. If this is their one thing.
[58:30]
Gabby Windy
No, I know.
[58:31]
Carolyn Weaker
Then I will deny it till the day I die.
[58:34]
Gabby Windy
Holy. Okay, I'm shocked. No. Good for you.
[58:37]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I pick and choose.
[58:38]
Gabby Windy
Good for you.
[58:39]
Carolyn Weaker
I pick and choose. I want to say this, which. It's probably not going to get aired at the reunion, but I feel like my big takeaway when Andy Cohen was like, what did you learn from this? From all the winners? And I took a turn. I'm like, I learned that misogyny is alive and well and. And so was the patriarchy because no one took us seriously. There can't be. There cannot be a woman soul. Traitor hunter.
[59:04]
Gabby Windy
It's fucking true.
[59:05]
Carolyn Weaker
I. The traitor hunter. I could never be the traitor hunter. And it's. It's. The definition of misogyny is that we like. We like to show our tits. I like to show my ass. We're smart. And. But everyone was like, but they think it's a surprise to us that we're smart.
[59:19]
Gabby Windy
It's.
[59:19]
Carolyn Weaker
They're like, oh, if you haven't. But a man can be so. And isn't like, their hasn't been one woman that's undeniably faithful.
[59:27]
Gabby Windy
It's true. It's true. Don't you feel like you could have been Dylan?
[59:31]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes.
[59:31]
Gabby Windy
Like, why the weren't you the hero?
[59:33]
Carolyn Weaker
Literally, why weren't you?
[59:34]
Gabby Windy
I mean, it's true you were smart. You were. But in that this is like the judgments that we all do and we saw it in the k. Like, obviously you.
[59:42]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[59:42]
Gabby Windy
I mean, it's different. But like, yes. Like, you. You're dumb or you're. You know, people underestimate you. All that. And you were smart as hell. You had good reads on. That's what I'm saying. Just because you don't fucking talk Like a strategist, whatever that sounds like. Yeah, I don't either. And that's how I play these games. Like, I don't fudgeing. Talk about 20 steps and bullshit and.
[60:02]
Carolyn Weaker
Yada yada, it's not going to work.
[60:04]
Gabby Windy
But neither. Dylan wasn't like, super. You were very similar. Why didn't you not. You weren't very similar.
[60:10]
Carolyn Weaker
No, no.
[60:11]
Gabby Windy
But what I'm saying, you were like.
[60:13]
Carolyn Weaker
I was so I was providing information. I was like, this is who I think is a traitor. And why didn't do anything that was traitorous or make a mistake or laugh in the billiards room or what the ever. So there's no reason. And like, everyone thought that whatever. Dylan was like, the lead faithful whatever. So I would try and talk to him like, hey, we're on the same size, but his foot was on my neck. I could see him judging me in every conversation. In the last episode when I was eating, I was like, come here, come here. And he sits down. He's like, we have to make it quick. Excuse me. I'm not trying to you. Because it was like, even at the end, even breaking. Same breaking into the conversation of, like, Tom Dylan and Iva, like, they, you know, they wouldn't trust anything I had to say. It's true. Yes. It's like, okay, well, I'm talking to a wall. Like, one I want to get on fudgeing tv. So I make these conversations. I have to fake it until I make it. And thank you, guys, because I need some screen time, and you guys are the only ones who are talking. But it's like that. It's like, I didn't need to win. Iva did not need to be there at the end. I'm sorry. He doesn't need the money. He's a literal royal. It's like, why could we have not picked him off? But it's like, because of Dill. Because Dylan was like, no. Like, we have to, you know, protect him. He's coming. Whatever.
[61:32]
Gabby Windy
Well, and I trusted him.
[61:34]
Carolyn Weaker
Okay.
[61:34]
Gabby Windy
Like, I really thought that would be a vote for me in my, like, for Danielle. So that's why I. But, like, girl, it got hard talking with Iva because one ear. He couldn't hear in one ear. He could. And I would never remember what ear I could talk into. Plus, he couldn't see. And I'm not making fun of people who are blind, but, like, it sucked.
[61:52]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[61:53]
Gabby Windy
You try trying to talk with someone. And I didn't remember what ear. It sucked.
[61:57]
Carolyn Weaker
I didn't even Know that he's hard.
[61:59]
Gabby Windy
Of hearing in one ear. I don't know if he's like, completely deaf, but, like, it's whatever good. He can't hear in one ear. And I would always talk into the wrong ear and then I'd be shouting and I'm not trying to be stressed like that. And I'd just be like, oh. And I'd walk away. It's too much.
[62:13]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[62:14]
Gabby Windy
But it's so awkward watching, like, the episodes good after I leave and like, bored. But also like, it's so awkward. And I'm glad you stuck it on the couch and was like, I ain't getting up.
[62:25]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I knew as it was happening, Danielle knew. I thought she was a traitor the whole time, but I'm like, why are you doing this?
[62:32]
Gabby Windy
You found it.
[62:33]
Carolyn Weaker
She was following me. I'm like, I'm onto you. So you want to put me in this position? Like, fine. I'm just there.
[62:42]
Gabby Windy
And you held. How. How long was that?
[62:46]
Carolyn Weaker
It was at least like five minutes, seven minutes. I knew. I. And I was like, there's nothing else to do besides relax and look the other way. I'm sick of making small talk.
[62:56]
Gabby Windy
I can't do the small talk. I hate it. I can't, like, go down and do the bullshit. It makes me uncomfortable. And that's what was hard for me in that castle. Like, I would rather be alone, sitting, like, doing something, hiding. I would often go upstairs than I'd hide. And I would just tell people I diarrhea. But I did, like, didn't you need a break?
[63:15]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Oh, always. And I was always asking to touch up every five seconds. Like, gabby, are you ready? I'm like, one more powder, please.
[63:23]
Gabby Windy
Please. It was a lot. And it wasn't like, fun sometimes, but it was fun sometimes. But watching it after, like, I was like, this is weird in the dynamics and the.
[63:36]
Carolyn Weaker
No, it gets so dry and uncomfortable. You're like, because you also have no friends. It's like, oh, my God. They're like, you were protecting yourself with the Bambi. I'm like, where are they? Now I'm alone. Like, this isn't like I have nobody to, like, talk with, but it's so bad. Like, the dynamic of people was just in crazy. Yes.
[63:59]
Gabby Windy
Yeah.
[63:59]
Carolyn Weaker
Cuz you don't know who you can trust at that point either. Okay. But I think we've really run our mouths.
[64:04]
Gabby Windy
Yeah. This is fun. Yeah.
[64:06]
Carolyn Weaker
Good.
[64:06]
Gabby Windy
Who are you talking to when you're doing this? Like, is that like the. Like. Because when you're just Doing it. And no one's here. So that's just like the thing. And then.
[64:14]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah, I'm just. This way.
[64:15]
Gabby Windy
I love that.
[64:17]
Carolyn Weaker
It's so fun. It's liberating.
[64:19]
Gabby Windy
Cuz that's what that one guy guy does, right?
[64:21]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[64:22]
Gabby Windy
A lot of people.
[64:22]
Carolyn Weaker
I'm like a guy. Which guy?
[64:25]
Gabby Windy
I don't know and who knows? It doesn't even matter. But I feel like there's a lot of podcast people. So is this like the thing? If you do it like this, it makes it more like it's like a rant.
[64:35]
Carolyn Weaker
Like you get to say whatever you want. And I feel like. Because a lot of people will come on and I'll say something I have by myself, but they'll be like, oh, you're gonna get me cancelled or you're gonna get me in trouble. So it's like it reads better if you're just talking by. By yourself because nobody is in the room. Kind of like what people are like, oh, you're weird. Oh, I don't. Or you talk funny or you don't do this. It's the same thing. It's like, you know why I'm just around.
[65:00]
Gabby Windy
Yeah.
[65:00]
Carolyn Weaker
And I want to have a good time. Why are you raining on my parade? But then you like internalize it. So it's like I like to do a mix of both.
[65:08]
Gabby Windy
Who. Because we're. Is that just like the thing now? Like, because I do. I see more people doing that.
[65:12]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh yeah.
[65:13]
Gabby Windy
And I'm like, I don't think, like, I don't think, like, obviously, like, there's not someone right here too. Unless there is someone right here or two.
[65:19]
Carolyn Weaker
No, no, no. My. At the beginning, it's like so hard finding guests. And they're like, yeah, why like some people do.
[65:25]
Gabby Windy
You don't even need a goddamn guest. You. You know that.
[65:29]
Carolyn Weaker
And now like. And that's what I wanted all along. I'm like, I do not want to be pressed for guests. Cuz I'll be damned if I have someone on the podcast who I don't want.
[65:35]
Gabby Windy
No. Or even just if you can't do it. And that's like why I. Because I was. Oh God, don't get me started. I'm trying to be a co host but like, of this show in Minnesota. But like, it. They found out about it and they. I did a podcast where I was like, I'm trying to. I didn't know that they would listen to it. And I was like, I'm trying to get her job. I said it on the podcast.
[65:57]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[65:57]
Gabby Windy
I was trying to go for this bitch's job on this show. They fuck. This is how big of a fuckery that guy is. And he's funny, and he's. He's like, a gay who's, like, really eccentric and whatever. He fudgeing found the podcast clip, and he posted. He, like, played it on the show in front of.
[66:14]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, my God. God.
[66:15]
Gabby Windy
But that's kind of up. And so then she was, like, super uncomfortable, and it probably was not a pronate, but who cares?
[66:22]
Carolyn Weaker
Everyone wants everyone else's job. I want to be the host of Love island so bad. It's not up to me.
[66:27]
Gabby Windy
Exactly. And I'm like, maybe that's his way of, like, people. Yeah, I can't say that. No, that's like.
[66:33]
Carolyn Weaker
I mean, but that's what I wanted.
[66:35]
Gabby Windy
And so, I don't know. Maybe, like, some. I just want to fill in. But, yeah, like, you are what you're doing. Like, you don't want to have to depend on, like. Or even have, like, another personality, like, overtake you or, like, you're good on your own.
[66:46]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Which I do. Like. Like, I want to have funny people on because I just always want, like, an insightful, good combo.
[66:53]
Gabby Windy
But it's like.
[66:53]
Carolyn Weaker
But also, you don't know if you have chemistry until you're there. And it takes you a while to warm up, so it's like, sometimes it's.
[67:00]
Gabby Windy
Just dry you, but you don't need anyone. Gabby.
[67:03]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, thank you. Okay, where can we find you? I'm going to link all your stuff, girl.
[67:08]
Gabby Windy
I always tell people, I have no idea. Look it up. Up. No. What am I supposed to say again? I'm so bad at this. I literally tell people that. I'm like, don't. Can't you find it before I.
[67:17]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I will, and I'll put it in. It's. It's at Carolyn.
[67:20]
Gabby Windy
Everything's just Carolyn Rose with. But it's with zeros and not so people. Like, why'd you do that? Because the O's were taken, so it's zeros.
[67:29]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I love it. It's giving my space, which is also gonna come back. Everything comes back around.
[67:34]
Gabby Windy
I wanted it to be Carolyn Rose because I hate my last name, but the O's were missing, so what the was I supposed to do?
[67:41]
Carolyn Weaker
Oh, yeah, you should now. You should reach out to Carolyn Rose and be like, can I have it? She'll say, no, but you know what I'm saying?
[67:47]
Gabby Windy
Like, no one knows it, but whatever.
[67:49]
Carolyn Weaker
No, I love it. Thank you so much. We love you here. Everyone's been dying for you to come on. I have a twitch in my eye.
[67:55]
Gabby Windy
No, that's good. I like it. Okay, when you say everyone, are you just saying that or.
[67:59]
Carolyn Weaker
No, people have been DMing me. They're like, when the. Is Carolyn coming on? And I'm like, she lives in Minnesota. You're in down now. We're literally at the 11th hour because both of us are like, yeah, we can do it whenever. We can do it when. Whenever. We can do it whenever. I'm like, get your ass over here.
[68:15]
Gabby Windy
Yeah. No, exact. I appreciate it. I didn't know people like me over here too.
[68:18]
Carolyn Weaker
Are you making this?
[68:20]
Gabby Windy
So maybe I do have a. I. I do suffer from.
[68:23]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah.
[68:23]
Gabby Windy
Imposter syndrome.
[68:25]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes.
[68:25]
Gabby Windy
100. But I have confidence. But I do. Or is that the. No. What? Imposter syndrome is what. When you don't feel like you're as good as, like.
[68:32]
Carolyn Weaker
Like you. Yeah. You don't feel like. Not only that you deserve it, but. Yeah. Like, I guess people kind of like, see you better than you. You are.
[68:40]
Gabby Windy
I. I love myself. But again, it's the attention and, like, the praise or like the. Oh, my God, I'll never get used to that. So maybe the wrong one. But, like, good. And again, I look at people on, like, different. Like, good. You have like a million and something followers. Yeah.
[68:55]
Carolyn Weaker
No, we'll die for you.
[68:57]
Gabby Windy
When do you think I'll get to a million?
[69:00]
Carolyn Weaker
Girl, I don't know. I know because I was on. I was on abc. I was on cable tv.
[69:06]
Gabby Windy
You were.
[69:06]
Carolyn Weaker
So it's like. It's different when it's show streaming, you know, but.
[69:10]
Gabby Windy
Well, Survivors, cbs.
[69:12]
Carolyn Weaker
I know.
[69:13]
Gabby Windy
I got more followers from traders than I did survive. Yeah, girl. Yes.
[69:18]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. No. This season's gonna pop. And it's just the beginning. Once it ends and people will, like, binge it and come back, but just keep doing what you're doing.
[69:27]
Gabby Windy
Like, but to get to a. But. Yeah, you did the star dancing.
[69:30]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah. Yeah. We gotta get you on the star dancing. No, you would do it.
[69:35]
Gabby Windy
No, I would not do it.
[69:36]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes. Say you would do it.
[69:38]
Gabby Windy
Yes. I'd love to do the D. Yeah.
[69:40]
Carolyn Weaker
Okay.
[69:41]
Gabby Windy
A lot of work. And you're like, yeah, but who cares? Isn't it? Well, you're a natural dancer. You're a fudgeing cheerleader.
[69:46]
Carolyn Weaker
It's fun. No, it really is.
[69:48]
Gabby Windy
Really?
[69:49]
Carolyn Weaker
Yes. It's a different. Because you're just focused the whole time.
[69:52]
Gabby Windy
I don't.
[69:53]
Carolyn Weaker
You get to wear sparkly stuff.
[69:54]
Gabby Windy
I'M not on the level of Dancing with the Stars.
[69:56]
Carolyn Weaker
I feel like after Traitors, I.
[69:59]
Gabby Windy
So who out of our cast. Chrishell's already done it. Yeah, you've already done it. Who from our cast? And don't.
[70:06]
Carolyn Weaker
Nikki Bella has done it.
[70:07]
Gabby Windy
Nikki. God, you all have.
[70:09]
Carolyn Weaker
Yeah, we knew each other. I know.
[70:12]
Gabby Windy
You weren't on the same season though, right?
[70:13]
Carolyn Weaker
No, but it's kind of like, okay.
[70:16]
Gabby Windy
You guys have all done it, but you know what I mean? It's like every time I turn on the thing and was Tom sedated at the events?
[70:25]
Carolyn Weaker
I don't. Right. He didn't say anything.
[70:27]
Gabby Windy
I know I'm not talking about him anymore, but like, yeah, his personality on the Traders, I felt like was quirky, weird, freaky. And I loved it when he was, like sweating and being a freak. I felt like he was a beautiful, beaten down dog at these event stuff and at the reunion, I felt like he tried and he tried to have the personality, but you didn't feel like a sedated vibe.
[70:50]
Carolyn Weaker
Well, I talked to him for five seconds because we were out there the whole time and I didn't see him before and I didn't go to, like, any of this stuff with him.
[70:56]
Gabby Windy
It was just like, I'm like, that's not the Tom.
[70:59]
Carolyn Weaker
Everyone's different. We're all like, yeah, we're. We're beaten to a pulp. We're exhausted.
[71:05]
Gabby Windy
Oh, I know. So good. I wanted the freak. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.