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Today we're joined by Carol Radziwell. Many of you know her from her six seasons on Bravo's Real Housewives of New York City. Many considered her the smart one on that series, not just because she is smart, because of her long career as a journalist and writer. She's reported from Iraq, Afghanistan, produced documentaries about abortion, gun control and landmines in Cambodia. Her work has garnered her many awards, including three Emmy Awards. Carol is also the New York Times best selling author of her memoir, what Remains A Memoir of Fate, Friendship and Love, and the novel the Widow's Guide to Sex and Dating. Here is my conversation with Carol and Scott. So, Carol, welcome to Lost Boys. Thanks for joining us. My friend, Scott Galloway, as you know, we're digging into these unique challenges that men are facing and what we can do about it. And so I just want to catch you up again. We've been exploring what young men are doing these days. We believe that they're getting left behind. We've had a couple of guests on to fortify that with some sociological evidence related to that. And, you know, when I look through the comments and messages that we're getting, I'm heartened by what a lot of folks are saying. They're excited about what we're doing. But there's also a few people that are saying, hey, you know, white males, frankly, have had 5,000 years of a head start on everybody else. It's okay to have them get dunked in the water a little bit here and there. I know that you have your opinions and I just want to introduce you to our viewers and listeners. Many people know Carol Radziwell from her six seasons on Bravo's Real Housewives of New York. A lot of people have said on that show that you're considered the smart one on that series, not because you are smart, but because your long career as a journalist and a writer. Now I will say, and I think Scott knows this, I interviewed you on your book, you wrote a best selling book. The memoir is what remains. It was a memoir of fate, friendship and love. And of course you talked about your beautiful husband and the romance that you had with him and his unfortunate and untimely death. And you have a novel out called the Widow's Guide to Sex and Dating, which I probably gonna read that. Cause I am a little bit of a chick, Carol. That's one of the fun things about my life so far. So I'm gonna bring in Scott. I know you sort of disagree with the theory that men are behind. So talk to us.
Carol Radziwill
All right. I need to put on my glasses to talk to Scott. Cause he's scary even though he looks like an aging skateboarder.
Anthony
Both of those.
Carol Radziwill
Hi, guys. So what's happening? What's the problem? Let's have all the women rally around and try to fix this problem. Because that's what we feel like you're asking us to do.
Anthony
I'm not sure how to respond to that. So you think that essentially. So you believe that the fears or concerns around the struggles of men, that that narrative is essentially implying that women are responsible for it or should be responsible for fixing it.
Carol Radziwill
Should be responsible for fixing it. And by extension maybe are sort of responsible because they did so well once they were unleashed from the shackles of. Not that they're completely unreleased of the patriarch which we all live and suffer under. So I'll acknowledge men are suffering, but sure they're suffering because for the first time, I think this generation, they just don't really have the skills to compete because they've never had to develop those skills. Because men have always been, you know, assumed to be the standard. Right. So they were handed everything. They never had to fight for any rights that I know of. I mean, have they? Like the. The right to own property, the right to own a credit card, to have access to money, to vote, to have sexual autonomy, bodily autonomy. I feel like men, predominantly white men, never really had to fight for any of that, you know, so women did and minorities did. So they've kind of been insulated from. From. They just. They'd been insulated. So now I think you're right. This generation has to now deal with the fact they're struggling because they never had a muscle to develop that ability to compete on that level. And you know, women are coming in and they're crushing it. You know, in corporate America and politics, they are the least emotional gender. They're multitaskers, they're good communicators. They have all these skills and it's just. It is. I feel bad. I mean, guys, your dads and your grandfathers, they didn't have to do any of this. They were just sort of like. It was assumed they would get the jobs. It was assumed they would have all the positions of power in corporate America on the boards and in politics and Congress and up and down in state legislatures on up to. On up to the presidency. So, yeah, yeah, I guess, you know, it's. The last couple years has been a crisis, but, you know, it's hard to muster that much empathy. Although I do have empathy. Unless you're a boy mom. Because I have mom friends that have boys and they kind of get, you know, little crazy about this, but. But yeah, it's probably gonna be a problem for some time, and you're gonna have to, like, figure it out. I don't know. You know, figure it out. Like we did. We weren't given a script, Scott. We weren't given anything. In fact, we created the script. In fact, honestly, when I was young, coming up, like I was probably 14, 15, 16 year old, there was this commercial on television. You girls might remember it like if you're like Gen X. And it was like women could finally have it all. Women could. It wasn't like women could. Could conquer the corporate America and. But we could do that. But we still had to take care of the kids and clean the house and do all the household stuff. But it was. What was that? Oh, God, Anthony, you probably remember because you're more girly. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, never let him forget he was home. Oh, Anjali. Remember the Anjali commercial?
Scott Galloway
It was a fragrance back in the day.
Carol Radziwill
That's what young girls were groomed to believe, that we had to bring home the bacon. We had to cook the dinner. We had to. And then we also had to make sure our man was okay. That was the message that. That was the scene, script we were given and what we did, what we did the best we could with that, and then we kind of crushed it. And guys are being left behind because they just never had to, like I said, develop that muscle. Anyway, that's my thing. I have a lot more to say on it, but, you know, I want to let you guys talk.
Scott Galloway
No, I think the reason Scott and I wanted to have you on is that we want to give as balances a perspective as possible, you know?
Carol Radziwill
Well, don't you think it's valid? These. It's valid. Like, it feels a little Premature.
Scott Galloway
Let me.
Carol Radziwill
Let me share with, like a premature ejaculation or something.
Scott Galloway
Like your premature ejaculation. Okay. Well, I mean, I can't confirm or deny if I've ever had one of those. So I. I don't want to speak for Galloway, but I'm not going to. I'm not going to be able to confirm or deny that. Okay. Could have happened in 1980, perhaps. I'm not sure. So I want to. I want to give you a fact set, and I want both you. I want you. I want both you and Scott to respond to this. So there's a gentleman who's a CEO of a hospitality company. He's listened to all the episodes. He reached out to me, got my number, called me and said to me, listen, this is a very thoughtful exercise. I lost my son to depression. He was battling with it. He committed suicide at the age of 19. And my wife and I have listened to your podcast with Scott, and I just want to let you know that we appreciate what you're doing because we've got to open up a channel of communication to men that are not feeling it. And again, I'm not trying to be stereotypical, but the point that this executive made to me is that his son, in this environment, for whatever reason, couldn't reach out and get help, couldn't say, dad, I'm not feeling well. I'm not getting it. Yes, I'm. I'm putting out filtered pictures of myself on social media, and I'm taking great pictures of sliced steak at these steakhouses to try to impress my friends. But I feel really, really bad about myself. And he ended his life. And what's interesting about this young gentleman who's a very creative person, he created these animation objects which were showing what was going on inside of himself internally. And so one side of the object was the thumbs up, super happy, but the other side of the object was what was going on internally. And so we'll let Scott come in, otherwise the two Long Islanders will dominate the entire conversation. But so, Scott, you're hearing this and you say what? Exactly. So the point, I'm. The reason I wanted to do this with Scott, bring you on, speak to others, is I want to open up a channel to people where maybe they can share it with their kid or they can share it with a friend, or maybe someone give somebody the opportunity to raise their hand and say, hey, I'm not feeling it. I may need some help.
Anthony
Just, first off, let me acknowledge that I think your sentiments are. I get it, sort of you've had a 3,000 year advantage. You guys hit some bumps in the road and now your hair's on fire. Welcome to the work week. I get that sentiment. And I also want to acknowledge that men of Anthony and my generation had a disproportionate, historic, unprecedented amount of unearned advantage. If you look just economically at the prosperity that America recognized From call it 1945 to 2005, we registered more prosperity economically than the rest of the world combined. And all of that prosperity was not only crammed into just 5% of the world's population, within that 5%, it was crammed into the 30% of that 5% that happened to be white, male and heterosexual. And I was part of it. In the 90s, I was raising hundreds of millions of dollars from my startups.
Carol Radziwill
Oh, wow.
Anthony
And I was embarrassed to say. I never really stopped and said, why are no women raising money? Is it because they don't want to be entrepreneurs? I don't think that was it. Why are no non whites raising money? Why are no gay people partners at venture capital firms making these decisions? Is it because that non whites, gays and women aren't interested in startups or technology or being entrepreneurs? No, it was because they didn't have the same opportunities that I did. And so I think any complaint around the struggle of men of our generation should correctly invoke a bit of a gag reflex. I do think that things have changed dramatically and that there is reason to think through social and economic policies that reflect a pretty stark reality right now. And that is first off, on the plus side, women, as you said, are crushing it. Twice as many women have been elected to some form of parliament globally in the last 30 years. More women are seeking tertiary education globally. And when you look at the fact some nations don't encourage women to go to school, that's a wonderful victory. 70% of high school valedictorians are girls. What it ends up is that when we level the playing field educationally, women thrust out ahead of men. And a lot of the information economy jobs that require college education and academic excellence have grown. And some of the jobs in industries where men who weren't cut out for academics could find a middle class lifestyle, a lot of those have gone away. I would argue that this is a more nuanced conversation and I hope to somewhat change your mind a little bit. And that is if you're looking at a young man, the education system now is biased against boys. Boys are twice as likely to be suspended as a girl for the exact same behavior. 70 to 80% of primary school teachers are women. And naturally they will champion people to remind themselves of themselves. We have more single parent homes in America than any nation in the world. And when a boy loses a male role model, he becomes more likely to end up incarcerated than graduate from college. And what's interesting is that girls in single parent homes have similar outcomes. It ends up that while boys are physically stronger, they're mentally and emotionally much weaker. And so all of this is to say, and Also biologically, they're 18 months behind. A lot of the economic opportunities that gave them wind in their sails for men who weren't educationally strong or young men have gone away. A lot of the mating opportunities have gone away because young men, men are still predominantly evaluated based on their economic viability. So what we have is a situation where young men are struggling, and that is they're four times as likely to commit suicide. They're three times as likely to be addicted or homeless, they're 12 times as likely to be incarcerated. And I would argue that when women were struggling and women, there was incredible disparity in the opportunities presented to women only because they were born as women. I would argue that a lot of men, and I'd like to think that I'm one of them, were there for women. That there were a lot of men, progressives who saw the disparities and wanted to bring women and non whites into that prosperity. And I don't think empathy is a zero sum game. And I think the situation we're in right now is a lot of young men are struggling. And I think women and our society recognize that our country and women won't continue to flourish if we're producing a generation of young men who are flailing. And the biggest advocates and allies I have found, I have had are mothers of boys. Because what they recognize is that, okay, my son goes on online dating, he has to swipe right a thousand times to get a date because he's not making six figures and he's not over six feet tall. He's having trouble connecting to relationships, connecting to work, connecting to school. And if by the time he's 30, he hasn't been in a romantic relationship or cohabitated with someone, there's a one in three chance he'll be a substance abuser. Men are much more risk aggressive. And what we have is this emerging species of young men who are more prone to conspiracy theory, more prone to misogynistic content, more prone to nationalist content. And I would acknowledge when I Coach young men. I say when you blame a woman for your romantic problems, it means you have lost the script. When you start blaming immigrants for your economic problems, it means you have lost the script. But just as I think we've had empathy for special interest groups who have struggled, because I don't think that means we should have a lack of empathy for young men just because of the advantage that Anthony and I garnered, I think empathy is not a zero sum game and that is gay marriage didn't hurt heteronormative marriage, civil rights didn't hurt white people. And I think if you look at the data around young men, I don't think there's any excuse for not having empathy for them and recognizing that if one group is killing themselves, if you go into a morgue and there's five young people who've died by suicide and four are men, it means we have a problem and we can all attempt to address it without doing anything to get in the way of the wonderful progress women are making. But I do believe the statistics are overwhelming and my advantage, quite frankly, does not do any good for a 19 year old male who is economically struggling, is depressed, anxious over obese, and sees a total lack of economic or romantic opportunities and is being told by society and women that he doesn't have a problem, you're the problem. So I think there's room to recognize that a lot of people, including women, especially when they have kids, still have real obstacles in the corporate world while also addressing the very real issues that young men are facing.
Carol Radziwill
Well, yeah, that was a lot. Okay, so the suicide, okay, the date. I'll separate into a few things. The suicide rate and the fact that a lot of young men are committing suicide is a tragedy and traumatic and obviously needs to be addressed. I had two close friends, females who committed suicide. That's a problem across the board. And I think the high suicide rates among men, young men are evidence that this patient that we are living under and burdening under has just tried to destroy women and nearly did and now is kind of turning on its own. We need to dismantle this. We need to tell young men, I mean, here's some statistics. Something like 70% of all therapy is female. Right. Close to 70% of all self help books are bought by women. Right. So women saved themselves. You guys are an anomaly. You are the exception to the rule. I grew up coming into corporate America in the 90s. It was a fucking free for all. It was all men. And then these young 23, 24 year old girls Coming in for the first time, really, because my mom, my mom worked in corporate America, but she was the only woman on our street of like 70 homes that worked. So my generation is kind of the first generation that came into corporate America full time. And the fuckery that was going on and the, I mean, I don't want to relive it all and relitigate it all, but it was a lot. And I worked at ABC News, so it was like a man's world. And we just sucked it up, we swallowed it, put our head down and worked hard and that's what we did. And this generation of young women are not doing that. Because I feel like in some way we, a woman, we're the same age, probably we paved the way a little bit for these women to say, no, I'm not going to take it. I'm not going to. You know, the MeToo movement, some people say it went too far. I think it didn't go far enough to be honest. But when you look at the statistics, not only are men not taking care of their own mental health, they're told the patriarchy kind of tells them that they're not good nurturers. That's not masculine quality. They're not taught to be good listeners. They're not required to make any kind of authentic connections. You know, they learn about sex through watching porn. It makes a lot of men, these younger men, feel unsafe to women. And I know that because a lot of young women who I talk to, I'm friends with don't date. You're right, they don't. They don't want to date your entitled, undiagnosed sons. Sorry, moms, but it's like, you know, they're going to take your jobs, they're going to do them better, and they're just not going to put up with this nonsense that men put young women through. And sure, boo hoo, they swiped a thousand times to get one coffee date. But honestly, I don't know if that's true. I use dating. I'm single too. I don't really use dating apps. But like, I see them and I have them and I can. And it's not easier for women. Women swipe right many, many times before they can find someone that will even text back or like make a connection or know how to make that connection. I'm sorry, I've skipped to dating immediately. Sorry. There's so much more to say on the obvious, the suicide rate. But like, if you think about it in terms of health and suicide would fall under that one in five women are raped, attempted rape, or successful rape. Like, you know, women maybe in your family that have been raped. And that is still consistent, you know, and that is what women think about. So when women are dating, when women are going into corporate America, and the statistics there suck also. The statistics in politics suck also. I mean, let's be honest. Like, I don't know what percent of Congress is made up of men and women now, but it's not nearly what it should be. It's like 30% are women. Less 20%. But this is what women think about. So it's terrible that young men are feeling lonely because they have not been required to learn the skills to make social connection. And that's what keeps all of us, all humans, moving forward and keeps us alive, really social, this social fabric that we're weaving all the time. And women are good at it and have gotten better at it because they've been forced to get better. You know, there was a thing going around on TikTok where I get all my news from about what men think about, and an inordinate number of men thought about the Roman Empire, and it made women laugh. Like, all of us, when we get on our midnight call on Sundays, we're like, what do you think about all the time? Honestly, they think about being assaulted a lot by men. So I don't have the solution. Like, in fact, even me, and I'm grown up and don't take much shit. But I was, like, in Paris a couple of months ago, and I get off the plane, it's dark out, and there's no. There's no cab line, no normal formalized cab line at Charles de Gaulle. I didn't know that. But. So you go outside and men. It's all. Men come up to you and they say, where are you going? I'll take you for a ride. I'll take you. I'll take you. It's like Uber, right? But so you. You. I literally got in this car, and I thought, I'm getting in a car at night with the man. I don't know. And that is what women think about. I. I hate to say this, but it's like, it's. It's all the time. It's all the time. And in addition to thinking about that, in the back of their minds, they're dating, right? So they're. Because, you know, we're also told that our lives are somehow not legitimized unless we're being loved by a man. Getting married, having children. We're so Indoctrinated to that. Like imagine the world is set up for men by men where women have to kind of absorb all manners of male behavior from like ponytail pulling. I got my ponytails pulled and my mom was like, oh, he likes you. I mean I hope they stop saying that. But like in my generation they said he likes you. You know, teenage body shaming, you know, smile. You'd walk down the street and guys would be like, smile, like shut the fuck up. General bad behavior, like, but somehow still. So that's the world, but yet somehow still women, me included, in my 20s and 30s, hopefully it's changed. Still think that we are legitimized by being loved by a man. And that is how the world is set up. And imagine men behaving so wrongly that women finally said go fuck yourself, we're not going to date you, we're going to take your jobs. You know, we're like, imagine because the world is set up for them to succeed. And I would argue that it's still set up for them to succeed. And the fact that they're not succeeding is the fault of the patriarchy which we all suffer under women for the last 120 years, 200 years more. But we're starting to figure out ways to get around it. But as soon as we start figuring out ways to get around it, look what's happening. We're getting our rights taken away. 14 states, 15 states now, I don't know, 20 states, no abortion services. They're trying to take the women's sneakily trying to take the women's right to vote away by the SAVE act saying we have to show our birth certificate to vote. I mean it's fun. That's crap. Our birth certificate does not have the same name as our license or passport. Just doesn't. And that's the result of the patriarchy too. Anyway, it feels a little bit like. It just feels like it's like what do they call Scott? You would know because you're so much smarter than me and Anthony. Extinction births like this, they're just throwing everything at the wall to see what's gonna stick. Is it gonna like should we take their voting rights away? Should we make it more economically hard for childcare to get childcare? Should we start not allowing them to go to college? There's one idiot on the Internet, what's his name? Charlie Kirk or something, he's going around, he's like grooming 14 year old little girls, telling them that they should go to college to get the Mrs. Degree at first I was like, what is a Mrs. Degree? Is this a new thing? And then I realized he was saying Mrs. Like, go to college, find your husband. Because let's be honest, that's what you all really want. These are 14 year old girls just starting, just hitting puberty and thinking about boys and they're all like, giddy. They're like you. We like boys. It's terrible what is happening with young girls and continues to happen to young girls and it's getting worse and worse and it's getting worse for younger guys too. But I don't know, I feel like it's a weird time for young men to suddenly be like, I'm lonely. They weren't lonely in the 90s. They weren't lonely in the early 2000s. They're lonely now. Just when it's become just when women have really kind of taken back a little of their power. And yeah, I mean, I don't know, I grew up in news. Barbara Walters literally only got ahead over Frank was Frank McGee's dead body. I just saw, you know, she got her first big anchor job over his dead body. And you know, I hate to say it, but I don't think things have changed that much. I mean, look at the statistics. And that's my sermon for the. That's my TED Talk for the day. Dudes.
Scott Galloway
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Anthony
So I do think there's some common ground there. There is a myth of the woman being a failure if she doesn't have a romantic relationship.
Carol Radziwill
It's not a myth, Scott.
Anthony
And what the data reflects is that men actually benefit more from relationships than women. That if you look at widows, widows are actually happier after their husband dies than during marriage and widowers are less happy.
Carol Radziwill
Well, I'm a widow, so I don't know. Yeah, but you're right. You're right, because when I was first widowed, all my friends were fixing me up with widowers and you know, I would go on these dates and I'd be like, well, when did your wife pass away? And they were like six months ago, two months ago, they were already out. You're already out dating. What? It was like two years from, you know, they couldn't be alone. They can't be alone. You are absolutely right. Sorry to interrupt. You mentioned flourish in relationships because women do most of the emotional labor and the social labor, and now they're even making the money.
Anthony
And then among young men, when women under the age of 30 don't have a romantic relationship, they oftentimes channel that energy into their professional lives and into their friend networks. They're better at maintaining in getting what I'll call love or emotional support from their friend network. Whereas young men without the guardrails of a romantic relationship or the inspiration or stability of a romantic relationship oftentimes pour that energy into video games and porn and unproductive means. So I, I, you know.
Carol Radziwill
Well, they should maybe buy a journal.
Anthony
Women are doing. Women are doing. Well, I'll come back to the sensitive. The sensitive side. First off, women feeling unsafe. That. I see this a lot on TikTok and social media, and I want to acknowledge that as someone. I remember walking down the street with my sister and someone kind of moved it during COVID and there was a lot of homeless on the street, kind of moved fairly, and she jumped out of her skin. And I said that was a bit of an overreaction. And she said, scott, easy for you to say. You're 6' 2, 190. And what I realized is that, are you 6' 2? Well, actually, I'm 5' 4. I'm lying about that anyways. When you've never been a victim, it's not easy to empathize with people who have been victims. And I can't walk in your shoes. The reality is the vast majority of men can overpower women, and 2,500 women a year are murdered, and most of them are murdered by men who know them. That is unacceptable. It is a huge problem that plagues our society. You cannot have a modern society unless women feel safer around men as opposed to threatened by them. And I think that is kind of priority number one for any mayor of any city is if you go on the subway and you ever feel like you're in danger, you should be looking for men, not trying to avoid them. So I want to acknowledge that's a problem. But what we also have to acknowledge is that if you look at the actual data, 2,500 women are murdered. 40,000 men kill themselves. So just statistically, the guy you go on a date with is 16 times more likely to go home and harm himself than harm you. You are four times more likely to die on the date of choking or drowning. So while I think it is a real issue and until it is addressed more aggressively, we absolutely should train our young men and our boys that your t obligation as a man and key to masculinity is protection of anyone who needs protection. So there's some overlap there. But in terms of actual danger and the risks we take to engage in life, Dating is not up there is a real danger. And I do think that unfortunately there is an unhealthy zeitgeist on social media that a woman is taking her life into her hands if she agrees to have coffee with someone. The other thing I would just ask you, and it's a serious question, Is that the sensitive man, if he were more in touch with himself. Do you think the corporate world and women in the mating world really wants sensitive men?
Carol Radziwill
I think in the mating world, women want men who are sensitive who are. You know, it's funny because like men, mass nurturing is a masculine quality, right? Men. But somehow men have gotten women co opted into thinking it's a feminine quality. It's not unless you're under the age of 14. Women are not to be. Women are to be nurtured and not have to nurture these men. So I think dating wise, yeah, that's what they want. They want someone who's going to listen who, you know. But of course, you know, they. They haven't been required to be good listeners because of all their advantages and privileges. They want someone who is sensitive enough to make authentic connections that make them feel safe. But I think men have no idea how to show up as a safe man because they feel so. And this, this is why they feel so disconnected and lonely. They just don't know how. They don't have the skill set to know what that even means, Let alone what to do to try to get to that place. In terms of corporate america. No, corporate America is a bunch of corporate bullies. And they, you know, I don't know what this, you know, 8 out of 10 board seats are men. You know, it's still the old boys club. No matter how far we've come, We've never been able to have any kind of parity in corporate America or in politics. So, yeah, maybe if men show up more sensitive, they'll be better leaders. Better? Well, certainly they'd be better political leaders. I mean, we have a bunch of bozos running the country. It's insane. I mean, as someone who came from. Who spent six years in reality. I know the playbook. I could see what he's doing. We have, literally, the country is run by a reality star and a bunch of, I don't know, Fox anchors. So, yeah, maybe if. But you can't be sensitive and be a woman and be in politics yet. We have all these men crying, Brent Kavanaugh crying, you know, about having beers with squib and tube in or, you know, it's just insane how men act when they are in positions of power. They don't act well. So, I don't know, maybe more sensitive men, you know, would be a good thing. Or maybe just letting women run things. But we know that's never going to happen. But, like, you know, men have had 200 years, and so. And they fucked it up. They dropped the ball. We're in a mess. So, I don't know, give women a chance. Give women, you know, let them run things. But we all know that that's never going to happen because of the system that we live under that was set up for, you know, all men are created equal.
Scott Galloway
So I want to. I want to give you a perspective, and then I want to have you and Scott weigh in, and then we're going to sign off. But I guess the point that Scott is making, and I think that I may also be making, is that there's. It's like if you have a. If you have two kids and you love them amazingly, and then you have a third kid, it's not like the love goes down on the other two. You end up loving that kid as much. And I think what Scott and I are saying is there's enough space in the room to provide advocacy for everyone.
Carol Radziwill
I disagree.
Scott Galloway
You disagree? Okay, so. Okay, so I don't think.
Carol Radziwill
I think we've shown. History has shown that there's not enough space really.
Anthony
Okay.
Carol Radziwill
And that. And that these young men have to learn. And it's the job of parents. If you choose to be a parent, then that's a. That's a big job. And men, you know, women are working now, and women are paying half of everything. And so men have to step up. Fathers have to step up and tell their sons how to behave and what to expect and how to be a nurturer. And, you know, I don't think. I just disagree with that. I just completely don't.
Scott Galloway
You're entitled to that, and that's the reason why we brought you on the show. I appreciate you disagreeing. I'm going to give Mr. Galloway the last word here as we sign off. Of course, we'll give Scott the last minute here of our conversation. Go ahead, Scott.
Anthony
All right. First off, I appreciate your candor and I think that your views are there's not only veracity there, but I think a lot of people just relate. And you've articulated what I think a lot of people feel when they hear me droning off about struggling young men. And I think that the gag reflex is somewhat understandable just in terms of solutions. And I think about this a lot, both in terms of our government and our allies abroad. And I love the term of trying to agree to make a real effort to restore and refurbish and strengthen alliances. And I think not only alliances with our partners overseas, alliances between Democrats and Republicans, but alliance. I think the greatest alliance in history is the alliance between men and women. I think households flourish when there's both masculine and feminine energy and a respect for those those qualities. And by the way, some households, the person born as a woman demonstrates more masculine energy and the man demonstrates more feminine energy. But I think both of these things have produced wonderful results for us. And what I hope is that we can have some empathy such that we realize it's not a zero sum game and restore the alliance between men and women and have our young men. And to Your point, only 24% of our elected representatives are women. There's still a problem there. We in our nation not only have a war against women, it's worse than that. We have a war against poor women. No one on this call will have trouble finding family planning because we have money. This is worse than that. It's a war on poor women in terms of denying women of basic rights around bodily autonomy. But how I think we solved this problem is that men, men continue to be advocates for a better society. That includes offering people equality of opportunity and recognizing that if only 85 of the Fortune 500 CEOs are women, there's still an issue and it's still a problem. Will it ever be 250 or 250? There's a lot that goes into that in terms of people deciding to allocate their time differently or how they get reward. But we know there's a problem still of opportunity. At the same time, I think there are wonderful there's a movement among women, especially among mothers, that recognize there's a real problem amongst our young men and who wants more economically and emotionally viable young men, women, and that we need to restore a zeitgeist in our society where men and women are each other's allies. And unfortunately, I think there's a lot of rhetoric and a lot of understandable animosity where young men fault their dissent or their falling due to women's ascent, which is not true. And at the same time, at the same time, I think women are also predisposed to have a knee jerk reaction, to tell young men, you don't have problems, you are the problem. And I don't think that's helpful either. So what I'm advocating for is a renewal in the greatest alliance in history, and that is the alliance between men and women.
Carol Radziwill
If it existed. Sure. Yeah.
Scott Galloway
All right, well, listen, I appreciate, I.
Carol Radziwill
Think God could have solved this issue with one act. He should have made all penises the same size. We'd have no war, literally, if they were all the same size. We talk about this all the time.
Scott Galloway
All right, so, so that. Carol, first of all, Scott and I appreciate you coming on. I think it was a great.
Carol Radziwill
Oh my God, you guys are so scary.
Scott Galloway
I think it was a great conversation. There's nothing scary about an aging skateboarder and a Long Island Guido. There's absolutely, there's absolutely nothing with a lot of that actually be a really good podcast. Aging Skateboarder with Long Island Guido present Lost Boys. But, but we really, we really appreciate you coming on and I hope, I hope I see you soon. I'd like to thank Carol and Scott for this really lively conversation today and thank you all for joining us for this episode of Lost Boys. If you'd like more information, please go to our website, Lostboys Men. Be sure to like, follow and subscribe to Lost Boys wherever you get your podcasts. And please share it with someone who cares about this or should care about this. And let's spread the word. Lost Boys is a production of Salt Media and the Casablanca Strategy Group. Barbara Fedita and Keith Summa are executive producers. Tanya Salati is our researcher, and Holly Duncan Quinn and Stanley Goldberg are our editors. Special thanks to Christina Kasesi and Mary Jean Rebas and Drew Barrows.
Podcast Title: Lost Boys
Episode: A Feminist Perspective on Lost Boys
Host/Author: Anthony Scaramucci and Scott Galloway
Release Date: July 10, 2025
Guests: Carol Radziwill
In this episode of Lost Boys, hosts Anthony Scaramucci and Scott Galloway delve into the pressing challenges faced by young men in contemporary America from a feminist perspective. They are joined by Carol Radziwill, a renowned journalist and author, known for her six seasons on Bravo's Real Housewives of New York City, her Emmy-winning documentaries, and bestselling memoir, What Remains. The conversation aims to explore the multifaceted struggles young men encounter at home, school, and work, and to seek actionable solutions to help them thrive.
Anthony Scaramucci opens the discussion by addressing the narrative that white males have historically held significant advantages, citing that this demographic enjoyed "a 5,000 years of a head start on everybody else" (03:04). This sets the stage for Carol Radziwill to elaborate on how these privileges have insulated men, particularly white men, from developing essential competitive skills.
Carol Radziwill states:
"Men have always been, you know, assumed to be the standard. Right. So they were handed everything. They never had to fight for any rights that I know of." (04:23)
She underscores that while women and minorities have historically had to fight for basic rights such as property ownership, voting, and bodily autonomy, men, especially white men, did not face these challenges to the same extent. This historical advantage has left a generation of young men underprepared for today's competitive social and economic landscape.
The hosts and Radziwill discuss how societal shifts have left young men "falling behind." Radziwill attributes this to the lack of necessity for men to "develop that muscle" of competition due to their historical privileges. She observes that as women have made significant strides in corporate America and politics, men are now struggling to keep pace.
"Now this generation has to deal with the fact they're struggling because they never had to develop that muscle to compete on that level." (05:10)
Scott Galloway adds to the conversation by presenting Carol with a poignant story from a CEO whose son committed suicide, highlighting the dire mental health crisis among young men. This narrative emphasizes the urgent need for open channels of communication and support for men feeling isolated and overwhelmed.
A significant portion of the discussion centers on the alarming mental health statistics among young men. Anthony Scaramucci presents data indicating that men are "four times as likely to commit suicide" (12:15) and face higher rates of addiction, homelessness, and incarceration.
Radziwill responds by linking high suicide rates to societal pressures and the dismantling of patriarchal structures, which she believes have inadvertently caused men to "turn on its own." She emphasizes the necessity of dismantling these structures to help young men find their footing.
"We need to dismantle this. We need to tell young men, I mean, here's some statistics." (08:15)
Scaramuy introduces a story about a CEO who lost his son to depression, illustrating the profound personal impacts of these societal issues. This anecdote serves to humanize the statistics and underscore the real-life consequences of neglecting men's mental health.
The conversation shifts to the challenges young men face in forming romantic relationships and social connections. Radziwill highlights how societal expectations and the rise of digital dating platforms have complicated men's ability to connect authentically.
"They're swiping a thousand times to get one coffee date... but honestly, I don't know if that's true. I use dating. I'm single too." (27:15)
She points out that while women are also struggling with online dating, men often channel their frustrations into unproductive behaviors like excessive gaming or pornography consumption due to a lack of emotional support structures.
Anthony contrasts this with women's ability to derive emotional support from their friend networks, suggesting that without similar guardrails, young men are left vulnerable.
A critical part of the discussion revolves around societal perceptions of sensitivity in men. Radziwill argues that while sensitivity is a valued trait, men are not traditionally taught to embody it, leading to difficulties in forming meaningful connections.
"Men have no idea how to show up as a safe man because they feel so disconnected and lonely." (35:00)
She advocates for men to develop nurturing qualities and better listening skills, which are often overlooked in traditional masculine roles. Galloway challenges Carol’s assertion, leading to a debate about whether the current system can accommodate the needs of both men and women without resource conflicts.
In the concluding segment, Anthony Scaramucci emphasizes the importance of restoring the "alliance between men and women" to address these intertwined societal issues.
"What I hope is that we can have some empathy such that we realize it's not a zero sum game and restore the alliance between men and women." (41:10)
Galloway reiterates this point, advocating for a collaborative approach that supports both men's and women's struggles without positioning them against each other. However, Radziwill expresses skepticism, arguing that history shows limited capacity to support both groups adequately.
"I disagree. I think we've shown. History has shown that there's not enough space really." (40:15)
Despite the disagreement, all parties agree on the necessity for empathy, mutual support, and systemic changes to better support young men while continuing to advance women's rights and opportunities.
The episode wraps up with a call to action for listeners to foster empathy and rebuild the essential alliance between men and women. Scaramuy concludes by highlighting the need for a balanced approach that doesn't pit one group against the other but instead seeks comprehensive societal support for all.
"There's enough space in the room to provide advocacy for everyone." (39:36)
"What I'm advocating for is a renewal in the greatest alliance in history, and that is the alliance between men and women." (43:20)
Carol Radziwill humorously notes the aspiration for such an alliance, acknowledging the challenges but reinforcing the importance of striving for it.
Carol Radziwill (04:23): "Men have always been, you know, assumed to be the standard. Right. So they were handed everything. They never had to fight for any rights that I know of."
Anthony Scaramucci (05:10): "Now this generation has to deal with the fact they're struggling because they never had to develop that muscle to compete on that level."
Carol Radziwill (08:15): "We need to dismantle this. We need to tell young men, I mean, here's some statistics."
Carol Radziwill (27:15): "They're swiping a thousand times to get one coffee date... but honestly, I don't know if that's true. I use dating. I'm single too."
Carol Radziwill (35:00): "Men have no idea how to show up as a safe man because they feel so disconnected and lonely."
Anthony Scaramucci (41:10): "What I hope is that we can have some empathy such that we realize it's not a zero sum game and restore the alliance between men and women."
Carol Radziwill (40:15): "I disagree. I think we've shown. History has shown that there's not enough space really."
Hosts Anthony Scaramucci and Scott Galloway thank Carol Radziwill for her participation, acknowledging the depth and complexity of the issues discussed. They encourage listeners to visit their website www.lostboys.men for more information and to share the podcast with others who might benefit from the conversation.
Note: This summary intentionally omits advertisements, sponsor messages, and non-content sections to focus solely on the substantive discussions of the episode.