Podcast Summary: Lost Boys – Episode: Listener Mailbag
Release Date: July 17, 2025
Hosts: Anthony Scaramucci and Scott Galloway
Introduction
In the "Listener Mailbag" episode of Lost Boys, hosts Anthony Scaramucci and Professor Scott Galloway address various listener-submitted questions and concerns regarding the challenges young men face in contemporary America. The discussion spans topics such as developing success habits, navigating divorce, defining masculinity, the role of parents, the myth of college, and coping with failure. The episode aims to provide actionable insights and foster resilience among young men struggling with personal and societal pressures.
Developing Good Habits of Success
Listener Question:
Robert, a 27-year-old seeking purpose, asks Scott: “How do you develop the good habits of success? What do you recommend that I do on a daily basis to get my positivity going and my feeling and sense of purpose?”
Scott Galloway's Response ([02:12]):
Scott emphasizes that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to developing success habits. He shares personal motivators, such as his mother's illness and fatherhood, which fueled his resilience. He underscores the importance of enduring rejection and building small, daily disciplines that compound over time. Scott outlines several actionable steps:
- Financial Discipline: Save small amounts daily, invest in low-cost index funds.
- Social Connectivity: Send thoughtful messages, be generous and make efforts to help others.
- Physical Fitness: Maintain a regular workout routine.
- Continuous Productivity: Create content, reach out to potential clients.
He encapsulates success as “a series of small demonstrations of discipline every day that compound”.
Anthony Scaramucci's Addition ([05:19]):
Anthony agrees with Scott, highlighting the significance of physical fitness. He advocates for establishing microhabits, referencing James Clear's Atomic Habits. Anthony points out the importance of community in fitness activities for emotional well-being and social connections. He summarizes: “It's the microhabits that get you to the success.”
Resilience and Overcoming Setbacks
Listener Feedback:
A listener commends Anthony’s resilience, recounting his own experience of Anthony’s public fall from grace and subsequent recovery.
Scott Galloway's Commentary ([06:08] – [09:00]):
Scott praises Anthony's ability to bounce back from public humiliation, emphasizing that resilience involves getting back up after setbacks. He introduces the concept of “mourn and move on”, advocating for:
- Allowing Time to Grieve: Recognize and process emotions from failures or losses.
- Setting a Statute of Limitations: Determine a healthy period for mourning before taking proactive steps.
- Seeking Support: Reach out to others when struggling beyond the mourning period.
Anthony Scaramucci's Reflection ([07:25] – [09:00]):
Anthony shares his personal low points following his firing from the White House, admitting he was in the “fetal position” for about ten days. He underscores the necessity of working through emotional turmoil rather than avoiding it. Anthony stresses: “Work through it. That is a big thing. You got to work through things.”
Navigating Divorce and Parental Roles
Listener Question:
A 30-year-old recently divorced man expresses concerns over limited access to his children, feeling the court system favors women. He fears becoming an “uncle” rather than a father.
Scott Galloway's Insights ([13:28] – [17:07]):
Scott discusses the emotional complexities of divorce, noting that teenagers often prioritize their social lives over parental relationships. He highlights the issue of parents weaponizing children against each other, drawing from personal anecdotes. Scott calls for:
- Family Court Reform: Advocating for joint custody arrangements where feasible.
- Parental Responsibility: Both parents must prioritize the child's well-being over personal anger.
- Active Involvement: Men, especially fathers, should strive to maintain a consistent presence to prevent negative outcomes like increased incarceration rates among boys lacking male role models.
Anthony Scaramucci's Perspective ([17:07] – [18:25]):
Anthony emphasizes the importance of quantity over quality time, advising fathers to maximize the time spent with their children through consistent effort. He advises against speaking ill of ex-spouses in front of children, stating: “Your kids are half of your spouse. So you can't [complain] about your spouse to your kids because your kid is half of them.” Anthony advocates for practical actions like being present at events and maintaining a positive relationship with co-parents to foster healthy relationships in children.
Addressing the Lack of Support Programs for Young Boys
Listener Case:
Shannon raises a concern about her son lacking access to after-school programs tailored for boys, unlike his sisters, which may lead to resentment and social disconnect.
Scott Galloway's Analysis ([19:35] – [22:38]):
Scott acknowledges the historical context of support programs aimed at leveling the playing field for marginalized groups. He critiques the absence of equivalent support structures for boys, pointing out the scarcity of male-focused support groups in educational institutions. Scott argues for:
- Awareness and Advocacy: Encouraging schools and communities to recognize and address the needs of boys.
- Creation of Support Programs: Developing initiatives that provide boys with communal spaces to engage in activities like coding and running.
Anthony Scaramucci's Agreement ([22:38] – [23:56]):
Anthony concurs, advocating for increased awareness and the establishment of more balanced support programs. He underscores the podcast’s mission to raise awareness and suggests institutional efforts to create gender-symmetrical opportunities for young boys.
Defining Masculinity and Combating Toxic Influences
Listener Question:
A listener discusses the ambiguity of masculinity and its potential link to the rise of toxic masculinity influencers, seeking solutions to define healthy masculinity.
Scott Galloway's Comprehensive Breakdown ([23:56] – [35:55]):
Scott delves into his forthcoming book, Notes on Being a Man, outlining his framework for healthy masculinity based on three pillars:
- Provider: Emphasizes economic responsibility and planning for oneself and family.
- Protector: Focuses on the innate role of men to protect others, advocating for societal structures where women feel safe relying on men.
- Procreator: Highlights the motivational aspect of sexual desire in driving men to improve themselves and build meaningful relationships.
He critiques both the far-right and far-left approaches to masculinity:
- Far-Right: While recognizing male struggles, they often respond with regressive ideals promoting dominance over women.
- Far-Left: Suggests that men should emulate feminine traits, which Scott finds impractical and counterproductive.
Scott dismisses the term “toxic masculinity”, arguing that true masculinity inherently excludes cruelty and promotes protective and generative qualities. He calls for a redefinition of masculinity that upholds positive attributes without diminishing femininity.
Anthony Scaramucci's Addition ([35:55] – [39:54]):
Anthony supports Scott’s vision, sharing personal experiences where vocational success without a college degree led to fulfilling lives. He argues against societal pressure to attain higher education, advocating for diverse pathways to success that honor individual strengths and interests.
The Myth of College and Embracing Alternative Success Paths
Listener Question:
Anonymous Listener inquires about the validity of bypassing college, questioning whether it's truly acceptable not to pursue higher education amidst societal pressures.
Scott Galloway's Dual Perspective ([39:54] – [41:44]):
Scott acknowledges the limitations within the American education system and the lack of emphasis on vocational training. He advocates for:
- Vocational Programs: Promoting apprenticeships and trades as viable and respectable career paths.
- Cultural Shift: Encouraging society to value and recognize non-college careers without stigmatizing those who choose them.
However, he also stresses that for those who have access to affordable education, college remains a valuable avenue for personal and professional development.
Anthony Scaramucci's Experience ([41:44] – [43:40]):
Anthony recounts his upbringing in a large family where only a few members pursued college degrees. He illustrates that success and fulfillment can be achieved through various trades and entrepreneurial endeavors. Anthony emphasizes the importance of removing the stigma around non-college paths and recognizing their potential for success and personal satisfaction.
Embracing Failure as a Path to Success
Listener Question:
A listener expresses difficulty in coping with failure, finding it demoralizing and questioning whether it is truly acceptable to fail.
Scott Galloway's Reassuring Response ([43:40] – [46:41]):
Scott clarifies that American culture doesn't glorify failure but tolerates it, allowing individuals to take risks without catastrophic consequences. He shares his own entrepreneurial failures, emphasizing resilience:
- Risk-Taking: Encouraging men to take calculated risks, understanding that failure is often a stepping stone to success.
- Cultural Safety Nets: Highlighting the role of bankruptcy laws and second chances in fostering an environment where failure isn't permanent.
- Perspective on Failure: Viewing failures as learning experiences and not personal indictments, thereby reducing the fear and stigma associated with them.
Parental Guidance and Encouragement for Young Sons
Listener Feedback:
A clinical psychologist and parent urges the hosts to focus more on the pivotal role parents play in affirming and guiding young sons, noting a lack of structure and support.
Scott Galloway's Insights ([46:41] – [50:32]):
Scott references research by Gene Twenge and Jonathan Haidt, identifying social media pressures and overprotective parenting (concierge or bulldozer parenting) as major contributors to rising teen depression. He advocates for:
- Balanced Parenting: Encouraging independence by allowing children to experience failure and resilience-building.
- Role Modeling: Demonstrating healthy relationships and interactions to foster emotional security in children.
- Discipline: Implementing necessary boundaries and disciplinary actions to prepare children for real-world challenges.
Anthony Scaramucci's Personal Reflections ([50:32] – [51:50]):
Anthony shares his struggles with parenting, emphasizing the balance between being a supportive father and enforcing discipline. He highlights the importance of modeling good behavior and maintaining a strong alliance between parents to provide a stable environment for children. Anthony underscores that effective parenting involves both kindness and the enforcement of boundaries to cultivate responsible and emotionally healthy sons.
Conclusion and Future Directions
In the closing segments, Scott announces the release of his book, Notes on Being a Man, scheduled for September. Both hosts express gratitude for each other's contributions and outline plans to develop a mini curriculum based on the episode's discussions. They encourage listeners to visit their website, www.lostboys.men, for additional resources and to continue the conversation on supporting young men.
Final Remarks ([51:50] – [53:31]):
Scott and Anthony thank their executive producers and team members, highlighting the collaborative effort behind the podcast. They leave listeners with a reflective thought on financial prudence and the importance of supporting each other in navigating the complexities of modern masculinity.
Notable Quotes
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Scott Galloway at [02:12]:
“Success is a series of small demonstrations of discipline every day that compound.” -
Anthony Scaramucci at [05:19]:
“There's no such thing as quality time, Scott. I think there's quantity time.” -
Scott Galloway at [23:56]:
“Provider, protector, and procreator. That's how I distill it down to what it means to be masculine.” -
Scott Galloway at [35:55]:
“Masculinity is a wonderful thing. We need to stop conflating cruelty and coarseness with masculinity.” -
Scott Galloway at [43:40]:
“In America, as long as you're a good person, you try hard, you treat your investors well, you communicate regularly, you're good to employees, sometimes the timing's just not there.”
Key Takeaways
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Personal Resilience: Building small, daily habits can lead to significant long-term success. Resilience involves processing failures and moving forward.
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Parental Involvement: Active and consistent parental presence is crucial for the emotional and social development of young men, especially amidst divorce or separation.
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Redefining Masculinity: Emphasizing positive traits such as being a provider, protector, and procreator can offer a constructive framework for healthy masculinity, countering toxic influences.
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Alternative Success Paths: Recognizing and valuing vocational training and non-college career paths can alleviate societal pressure and provide diverse avenues for success.
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Embracing Failure: Accepting failure as part of the journey toward success encourages risk-taking and innovation without the fear of lasting stigma.
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Support Systems for Boys: Establishing more support programs tailored for boys can address social disconnect and prevent feelings of resentment and isolation.
For more insights and resources discussed in this episode, visit www.lostboys.men.
