Adults in the Room: The Boy in the Photograph

Summary

Podcast Summary: Adults in the Room – "The Boy in the Photograph" (Episode 6)

Podcast: Focus: Adults in the Room
Host: KUOW News and Information
Date: March 31, 2026
Host/Reporter: Isolde Raftery

---

Episode Overview

This episode, "The Boy in the Photograph," is a deeply investigative and reflective return by host Isolde Raftery to the events at Garfield High School in Seattle in the late 1990s. Raftery examines the legacy and abuses of Tom Hudson, a charismatic biology teacher and leader of the school’s elite outdoors program. The story centers around the discovery of a troubling photograph and the unraveling of both past and present consequences for those involved, particularly the students who survived—or exposed—Hudson’s abuses. The episode explores the complexities of grooming, institutional failure, and the lasting impacts on survivors as Raftery tracks down the "boy in the photograph" and uncovers years of ignored warnings.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Photograph and Its Aftermath

(Starts ~01:03)

• The episode opens with a chilling recounting of a teacher (Hudson) orchestrating an outing under the guise of teaching a student to drive, culminating in coerced skinny-dipping and the taking of a naked photo (01:26).
• Raftery discovers that this incident was previously investigated in 1994, five years before the allegations she and classmates later reported (02:08).
• A 2019 email from an anonymous sender seeking closure about the 1994 investigation is uncovered, prompting the quest to identify the "boy in the photograph" (02:51).

2. Maria and Carl Coriel Martin: Unpacking Boundaries

(Episodes with Maria at 04:58 and Carl at 08:59)

• Maria recounts her own disturbing experience on a boating trip: "He was drinking heavily… talking to kids about sexual things… I felt like a caged animal" (05:54).
• She describes the trust that evaporated due to Hudson’s erratic, substance-influenced behavior and a dangerous, out-of-control environment (07:22).
• Maria’s brother, Carl, shares how Hudson’s behavior crossed boundaries, recalling a "coded invitation" to masturbate together in a basement gym:
  • "It was all subtext and deniable, and it was not something I wanted to do" (09:40).
• Maria and Carl’s stories illustrate Hudson’s method of boundary testing and gradual grooming.

3. Tracking Down Jason Fox: The Boy in the Photograph

(Lead-up and contact spans 10:40-12:12)

• Carl helps Raftery identify Jason Fox as the likely boy in the photograph (10:40).
• After a series of outreach attempts, Jason Fox, now a sea captain in Maryland, agrees to speak (11:39-12:13).

4. Jason Fox’s Testimony: Grooming, Abuse, and Gray Areas

(Jason’s story starts 12:13, intensifies at 14:39 and 15:17)

• Jason shares how Hudson singled him out, including assigning him as a teaching assistant and pushing boundaries (12:50-14:02).
  • "I can almost hear his thoughts… someone's got to mentor you along… push your boundaries a bit" (14:02).
• Hudson’s “bets” on outdoor trips, resulting in sexual humiliation—as recounted by Jason:
  • "The loser would have to stand on a tree stump naked and sing the national anthem at full attention" (15:34).
  • "He would just watch. I mean, he wasn't pleasuring himself…" (15:49).
• On a solo trip, Hudson orchestrated mutual masturbation in a tent. Jason wasn’t physically forced, but the situation was clearly manipulated (16:39-17:14).

5. Institutional Failures and Lingering Consequences

(The investigation starts 18:28)

• When a friend discovers the naked photo, it catalyzes an investigation, but Jason, then at military school, omits the more incriminating details to protect both Hudson and himself:
  • "I protected myself… just said, no, I'm not going to bring this upon myself" (19:57).
• The district issues a written warning to Hudson, but it’s never enforced (20:18).
• Jason details the realization that what happened to him was indeed abuse—clarified by the #MeToo movement years later:
  • "Then all of a sudden, I'm like, wait a minute, I was abused." (20:51).
• He describes the subtle, gradual grooming process:
  • "I definitely had the illusion of giving consent because it was so, so gradual and so slow" (21:20).

6. The Aftermath: Healing, Complicity, and Unraveling Identity

(Jason’s reckoning continues 23:39, Ocean and Jonathan join at 26:15)

• Jason’s feelings are complex—he acknowledges both the positive influence Hudson had and the harm:
  • "Does that negate all the good? How do I figure out how to not throw away the baby with the bathwater?" (23:56).
• He questions whether his own adult sexual proclivities (exhibitionism) and manipulative behaviors trace back to Hudson’s influence (25:03-25:42).
• Other survivors, like Ocean Mason and Jonathan Hill, echo the difficulty of untangling positive memories from trauma:
  • "They are inextricably linked… was the good in service of the harm?" (Ocean at 26:39).
  • "That doesn't just go away. And I still think it's inside of me a bit, just like the deep pain he felt." (Jonathan at 27:35).

7. Institutional Silence and the Need for Change

(28:56 - 30:51)

• Raftery attempts to engage Seattle Public Schools, but they decline to discuss the case.
• The episode concludes by emphasizing how the consequences of predatory educators persist, and how survivors’ stories can offer hope and accountability.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the nature of abuse and grooming:

  • "I definitely had the illusion of giving consent because it was so, so gradual and so slow..." — Jason Fox (21:20)
  • "Predators first built trust so they can steadily erode the standards of what's acceptable to their victims over time." — Isolde Raftery (21:38)

• On the conflicted legacy of a teacher:

  • "Does that negate all the good? How do I figure out how to not throw away the baby with the bathwater?" — Jason Fox (23:56)

• On the limits of institutions:

  • "For months, they didn’t respond. I was eventually told nobody wanted to talk about such an old case. But for a lot of us, it's not old." — Isolde Raftery (27:44)

• On collective healing:

  • "If we sit in our silos and we try to heal individually without healing the communal harm too, like, I don't think we can heal all the way." — Ocean Mason (29:14)

• On bystander inaction:

  • "To survive, a number of teachers just closed their doors and basically said, it's not my problem." — Unidentified speaker (30:39)

---

Key Timestamps

• 01:03 – Graphic recounting of the photograph incident and the first mention of the school district's 1994 investigation.
• 04:58 – Maria’s account of the disturbing boating trip with Hudson.
• 08:59 – Carl recalls boundary-pushing behavior; helps identify Jason Fox.
• 12:13 – Jason Fox introduces his experiences with Hudson.
• 14:39 – Jason describes his complicated and escalating mentorship, and the "bet" incidents.
• 16:39 – Jason details the tent incident (mutual masturbation).
• 18:28 – The naked photo triggers the initial district inquiry.
• 20:51 – Jason describes his realization, post-#MeToo, that he was abused.
• 23:56 – Jason expresses ambivalence and questions about his adult identity and behavior.
• 26:39 – Ocean Mason reflects on inseparable links between good and harm.
• 27:35 – Jonathan Hill describes the lasting scars.
• 29:14 – Ocean Mason on the importance of collective healing for survivors.
• 30:39 – Commentary on institutional silence from fellow teachers.

---

Tone and Style

The episode's tone is introspective, investigative, and at times deeply personal, balancing professional journalistic inquiry with raw survivor testimony. Raftery foregrounds empathy and complexity, never shying away from ambiguity or uncomfortable truths. The speakers' words are allowed space—often quoted verbatim—offering clarity, discomfort, and hope in tandem.

---

Conclusion

In "The Boy in the Photograph," Raftery methodically excavates a hidden history of abuse, institutional neglect, and enduring trauma. The convergence of voices—both those harmed by Hudson and those who exposed him—paint a portrait of a community still healing, still haunted, and yearning for both justice and understanding. The episode ends by pointing forward: the need for communal healing, survivor solidarity, and systemic change remains urgent, as does the courage to face the past.

Transcript

[A]

Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing. The rush of racing. Nothing beats it, but Chumba Casino comes close. Chumba's got fast spins, fun games, daily bonuses, and all the action you can handle. Now that's a ride. Ready to hit the throttle? Get in the driver's seat and head to chumbacasino.com let's Chumba Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group voidware prohibited by law 21 terms and conditions apply.

[B]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real time scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.

[C]

Focus From KUOW in Seattle this episode includes graphic descriptions of sexual abuse. If you or someone you know needs support, text the word HOPE to 64673 please take care while listening A boy had a crush on a girl from his high school. He told his mentor, a science teacher who thought of ways for the boy to spend time with her. They drove to the woods an hour east of Seattle under the pretense that the teacher would show them how to drive stick shift in his Isuzu All Wheel Drive truck. After the driving lesson, the teacher insisted they go skinny dipping at a nearby lake. As the three of them stood naked, he placed his camera against the truck and set a timer. 3. 2, 1.

[A]

Click.

[C]

Months later, that photo would launch an investigation, just not the one I was involved in. I found a mention of that naked photo when I was researching this podcast. It was included in records from an investigation into then Garfield High School science teacher Tom Hudson. But that investigation started in 1994, which meant the district had already investigated Mr. Hudson for misconduct five years before I was a senior at Garfield. That's when the district launched another inquiry into Mr. Hudson's behavior with students, which led to Mr. Hudson's suspension and ultimately his death by suicide. Originally, the boy told the district the photo wasn't a big deal. But then I received a new stack of records from the school district. Included in these records was an email written in 2019 by someone who sounded desperate. The sender's name was redacted, but administrators had forwarded the email internally referring to the writer as a he, and he wanted to review the investigation that wrapped up in 1995. My reason is to achieve closure on that chapter in my life, which has recently caused a lot of depression and anxiety, the note said. I read it again and again. Could the author be the boy in the photo? He'd be almost 50 now. If I could identify him and track him down, I wondered what he could tell me. Did the district miss a chance to stop Tom Hudson years before he abused my classmates? For kow public radio in seattle, this is adults in the room episode 6 the boy in the photograph I'm isolda raftery. A former Garfield classmate texted me recently. Her name is Maria Coriel Martin. Back in high school, she was a member of Post 84, the outdoors club Mr. Hudson led. For years, I assumed she was upset with me for pushing the school district to investigate allegations of abuse against Mr. Hudson. But when we connected a few years ago, Maria was nothing but warm. She wanted to share an experience she had with our former teacher when she was a junior.

[D]

He'd invited some students to come on a cruise, kind of like an overnight thing, and I was like, well, that

[C]

sounds like fun, maria said. She and three boys from Post 84 joined Mr. Hudson on his boat for the excursion. Maria and her family trusted him. Maria's mom was close with Mr. Hudson's wife. Her brother was friends with his son. But that day on the boat, the trust evaporated. Maria told me Mr. Hudson was drinking heavily. He was also taking pills, Tylenol with codeine. He talked to the kids about sexual things. She doesn't remember specifics, but she vividly remembers what happened next. Mr. Hudson got drunk. He started crying and getting sick. The water was choppy. Maria felt nauseous and like a caged animal.

[D]

I remember sitting in a small cabin and having a door. We could look out and see the deck. I remember, you know, the sound of it, vomiting overboard and looking out and seeing him pacing around.

[C]

They docked a few hours from Seattle, on the opposite side of Puget Sound, in a town called Port Ludlow. But after a few more hours of drinking, Mr. Hudson was in no state to ferry them back home. The kids conferred in hushed voices and agreed to call 91 1.

[D]

I remember just tension and high emotions and just feeling a deep sense of unease and talking with the other students on board of just how we needed help. He needed help, and we made the decision to call 911 for EMS. I remember us trying to talk to him and him being like, you know, no, no, I'm fine. Don't do that. And we're just like, he is not fine.

[C]

When emergency responders arrived, Mr. Hudson was angry and defiant. But Maria said he eventually gave in to their pleasure. They took him to a nearby hospital, and one of the kids dads drove from Seattle to bring them home. After that, Maria kept her distance from Mr. Hudson. But the fear she felt that night stayed with her for a long time.

[D]

Driving through Port Ludlow until as recently as about five years ago, I'd feel nauseous. It was a deeply uncomfortable experience, and I just had no sense of safety. You know, when you're just squirming in a space where there's someone really unpredictable and that someone is, you know, the responsible adult who you want to feel that you can trust and they feel dangerous.

[C]

Mr. Hudson didn't abuse Maria physically or sexually, but his actions on the boat did cause her lasting harm. I asked Maria if anyone had ever told her Mr. Hudson had abused them. And she brought up a recent conversation she'd had with her brother.

[D]

So my brother is six and a half years older than me, and he had a tremendous experience with Tom Hudson and outdoor education. And I had never, like, had a solid conversation around, hey, what happened? Did you ever experience anything? And he had experiences that, looking, in hindsight, were pushing boundaries.

[C]

Maria's brother's name is Carl. He graduated From Garfield in 1993, seven years before Maria and me. I wondered if he was the mystery boy in the skinny dipping photo from 1994. Maria said he wasn't, but maybe Carl and that boy overlapped at Garfield. Would Carl talk to me? I asked. The next morning, I got a text. Carl was happy to chat.

[E]

This is Carl Coryll Martin. I consent to be recorded.

[C]

Carl lives in Canada now. It wasn't long before he launched into a story about Mr. Hudson.

[E]

I was over at his house and he was showing me a new gym he'd installed in his basement. And I felt like there was a coded invitation for he and I to masturbate together.

[C]

I pressed Carl on why he felt Mr. Hudson was inviting him to do this. Carl said the teacher wasn't direct about it. He remembered there was a box of tissues on a nearby table, and to Carl, that insinuated something sexual.

[E]

But it was all subtext and deniable, and it was not something I wanted to do.

[C]

Carl said things didn't go further, and while this sounded like an uncomfortable situation, it wasn't a lot for me to go on. So I asked if Carl could recall anyone Who'd been especially close with Mr. Hudson. I was thinking about the mystery boy in the photograph. I offered more details from the school records I'd gotten. Any chance he could remember a name? There was a boy while he's now a 49 year old man, I think, but he wrote to the school district and I'm like trying to figure out who he is.

[E]

Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about.

[C]

Do you know who that is?

[E]

Let me go get my yearbooks and I will give you names. Okay.

[C]

As Carl flipped through his yearbook searching for that kid, we made small talk. And then in the pandemic. Oh, what's his name?

[E]

Jason Fox.

[C]

Jason Fox.

[E]

Okay, probably your guy.

[C]

Jason Fox. Now I had a real lead. Pretty common name. But I was ready to reach out to every Jason Fox there was. Until I found him. Seattle's economy is complicated. Inflation, tariffs, AI layoffs. It's a lot to keep track of.

[A]

That's where we come in. I'm Joshua McNichols.

[C]

And I'm Monica Nickelsberg. We host Booming, a podcast about the economic forces shaping our lives here in the Pacific Northwest. Every week we dig into the big questions about our economy and where you fit in.

[F]

Find Booming on the KOW app or,

[A]

or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[C]

I found more than a dozen phone numbers for men named Jason Fox. I called and texted them all, including a number for a woman married to a Jason Fox. Another Jason Fox had a website. I sent an email to that one. I know this sounds scattershot. Some days reporting is like that. But luckily within a few hours, I heard back from the Jason Fox with the website. I got your email, your text, and my website message. You found me. He said, how you doing?

[G]

Doing pretty well, yeah.

[C]

Today Jason is a sea captain who lives in Maryland with his wife. He met Mr. Hudson as a freshman at Garfield in 1990. Jason had just moved to Seattle with his mom and her partner. Two women looking for an affordable, gay friendly city. New to the area, Jason felt the freedom to be himself.

[G]

I was always more inclined to talk to teachers about something more, I don't know, sophisticated or philosophical or what have you. I was a kid that would wear a tie to school sometimes. Just was, you know, just sort of presenting myself as a little bit older, more mature.

[C]

Jason joined the outdoors program and said Mr. Hudson singled him out as a leader. Early on, he asked Jason to be his teaching assistant, to help him plan trips and to feed the python that lived in an aquarium in Mr. Hudson's class, which, oh, my God. Sounded horrific to me.

[G]

If for whatever reason the snake decided it wasn't going to eat the live rodent or just decided it wasn't going to chase its students who were interested in kind of circle of life. We don't have to give it the mercy killing so the snake will eat the.

[C]

You guys had to kill the rat?

[G]

Yeah, I would have to kill the rat.

[C]

How would you kill the rat?

[G]

Usually smash its head at some riot using. Hold it by the tail and, and spin it so its head would essentially break its neck.

[C]

Jason shared this story matter of factly and I shuddered as he recounted it. Not because I'm squeamish. It sounded to me like Mr. Hudson was testing Jason, seeing just how far he could push this picture. Jason didn't disagree with my take, but he insisted the so called mercy killing was in the service of learning.

[G]

I can almost hear him, his thoughts thinking this about like, well, you know, someone's got to kind of mentor you along to, you know, how are you going to get to an adulthood if someone's not going to push your boundaries a bit.

[C]

As high school went on, Jason grew closer to Mr. Hudson. He ate dinner at his house and was friends with his family. Sometimes Jason would stay the night and bike to school with his teacher in the morning. Jason describes Mr. Hudson, as many of his former students do, larger than life. He became a father figure and they talked all the time.

[G]

Eventually those conversations would get now, in retrospect, you know, inappropriate, where you start talking about sex and talking about girls in an inappropriate way and sexuality and, you know, crude jokes. Initially, I just remember being very much like, you know, you talk to a friend, your teenage friend, except that your teenage friend was a teacher.

[C]

Mr. Hudson even bought Jason a subscription to Playboy magazine, which Jason rationalized as part of a typical father son relationship. You know, talking about the birds and the bees. But then on an outing to the woods, Mr. Hudson crossed a line with

[G]

him, the so called bet.

[C]

Ocean Mason told us about the bet in the last episode. On group trips, Mr. Hudson would often make a wager with a boy. The loser had to perform a sexually humiliating act.

[G]

The loser would have to stand on a tree stump naked and sing the national anthem at full attention.

[C]

So you'd be standing at attention is the idea. Would you be masturbating or would he?

[G]

Attention being the euphemism. Fully erect and not necessarily masturbating, but inevitably having to maintain the position of attention while one is singing. And he would just watch. I mean, he wasn't pleasuring Himself or anything like that.

[C]

Jason said he lost these bets two or three times.

[G]

I liked the attention. I thought it was funny. I remember being, like, mildly uncomfortable from the sense of, all right, it's time to pay up. It's time. All right, here we go. I shook on the bet, so here we are.

[C]

But there was another camping trip where Mr. Hudson went further. This was a solo trip, just the two of them. Jason was 16 or 17. He can't remember exactly. He and Mr. Hudson were sharing a tent.

[G]

It was just the two of us, and we just. In a dark tent. We each masturbated, didn't touch each other. There was no assault, no physical touching. It was just a thing that happened with two people in a dark tendon, like, you know, like two teenage boys might do.

[C]

Did he, like, invite you to, or was it just happening? Like, how did. How did that come about?

[G]

It was a discussion. It was not spontaneous. It was kind of like, hey, there's a thing we could do.

[C]

He said that, but he initiated.

[G]

It was something along those generic palette of, hey, here's a thing we could do. Tonight.

[C]

When he returned home to Seattle, Jason didn't tell anyone what happened in the tent. And aside from his wife and a therapist, I'm the only person he's shared this story with. Jason said that at the time, he didn't think much about those naked evenings in the woods. He didn't see himself as a victim or Mr. Hudson as an abuser. Jason graduated from Garfield in 1994. The summer before he left for the US Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland, he told Mr. Hudson about a girl he had a crush on. He wanted to spend more time with her. So Mr. Hudson suggested the three of them drive to a mountain lake. Outside after that, a naked dip in the lake. And then the photo, which Mr. Hudson took while they were still naked. Mr. Hudson gave Jason a copy of the photo. A few months later, a friend spotted the photo in Jason's bedroom. She brought it to her mom, who took it to the District. The District launched an inquiry into Mr. Hudson's behavior. By then, Jason was well into his first year at the Naval Academy.

[G]

The investigator calls me back in the days of payphones. I remember sitting on a payphone at an appointment we made.

[C]

Jason was ready for the skinny dipping question. He and the girl were 18 years old and recent graduates when the photo was taken. Mr. Hudson was no longer their teacher. Nothing illegal there. But he knew the question that would. Is there anything else I should know? Would Jason tell this investigator, this stranger, about the bets and the masturbation in the tent. He wasn't sure if that was illegal, but he knew it wasn't normal. Disclosing all that seemed like what he ought to do, what a senior officer would tell him to do. Jason, one semester into military school, was immersed in the ethics of right and wrong. But Jason realized in that moment that speaking up could destroy Mr. Hudson's career, and it could also derail his own future.

[G]

This was the don't ask, don't tell era, when anything that was perceived as gay or anything other than a heteronormal behavior was just treated or just basically, you were an outcast.

[C]

Immediately, the Naval Academy was a fresh start for Jason, and he felt the investigation could threaten his status there. He made the decision while on the phone, he would stay quiet.

[G]

I protected myself and just said, no, I'm not going to bring this upon myself.

[C]

Jason calmly told the investigator that the photo was a stupid mistake and he had nothing else to report. End of story.

[G]

The unfortunate consequence of that is that it also protected him.

[C]

The district sent Mr. Hudson a written warning after their investigation into the photo, ordering him to avoid one on one outings with students. But it's clear that warning was never enforced. For years, Jason locked away those memories of Mr. Hudson. And then in 2017, the MeToo movement happened. Jason read story after story of people sharing their experiences of abuse, and something clicked.

[G]

I had always known, like, this thing had happened, and it was there in the back of my memory, but I didn't have a name for it. It was, you know, the Tom Hudson thing. Then all of a sudden, I'm like, wait a minute, I was abused.

[C]

Like Jonathan and Ocean. It took Jason a long time and a lot of work to unspool the psychological damage Mr. Hudson inflicted. He was caught in a tangle of guilt, complicity, and shame.

[G]

I definitely had the illusion of giving consent because it was so, so gradual and so slow, you know? You know, if one day Tom just said, hey, you want to go masturbate in a tent tonight? I'm like, no, duh. How dare you ask such a thing?

[C]

Jason began to see how Mr. Hudson operated by slowly violating a thousand small boundaries until he breached the bigger ones. Mr. Hudson made Jason feel special. He provided incredible experiences in the outdoors and stepped in as a male role model when Jason needed one, which is how grooming works. Predators first built trust so they can steadily erode the standards of what's acceptable to their victims over time. It's those moments of friendship building that are the hardest for Jason. To reconcile. Did Mr. Hudson ever really care about him? He's not the only survivor grappling with that question. Mr. Hudson inspired Jason and the other kids he hurt to make the outdoors central to their lives. He taught them leadership and survival skills that they've relied on to this day. That makes it hard for Mr. Hudson's survivors to move on from their pasts. How can they be free of that trauma when Mr. Hudson continues to cast his shadow over them?

[D]

Pandulce comes in hundreds of shapes, sizes and flavors, but one Seattle Bakery is reimagining the Mexican sweetbreads with Pacific Northwest ingredients. Hey, I'm Brandy Fulwood, host of Seattle Eats. On the latest episode, Seattle Times food writer Bethany Jean Clement gives us some inside tips to build the perfect pastry box from a local panaderia. Listen to Seattle Eats on the Kow app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[C]

The reporting we've done for this podcast has confirmed for me beyond a doubt what I'd suspected for years that Tom Hudson was a predator, full stop. But Jason Fox is far more ambivalent about Mr. Hudson than I am.

[G]

There was a lot of good things that, you know, a lot of good qualities that Tom imbued in me and others about, you know, self reliance and dependency and resilience and, you know, how to survive in the world, especially when I go into the military and just, you know, how to be compassionate and caring. And so like now, all of a sudden, because I now have associated this bad thing with that, does that negate all the good? How do I figure out how to not throw away the baby with the bathwater?

[C]

Jason understands that Mr. Hudson was abusive and manipulative, but he believes Mr. Hudson cared about him, too, which makes it easier to hold onto the good parts of his time in the outdoor program, adventures that made Jason a leader, set him up with lifelong friendships, and brought him to some of the most remote and beautiful places on the planet. Jason has other questions about Mr. Hudson's impact on him. Today. Jason is an exhibitionist, meaning he likes when people watch him have sex. He's gone to sex clubs to play out this fantasy.

[G]

Am I that way because of him? Did he imbue that to me or was I way that way before I met him? Was it intrinsic? I don't, I can't necessarily unpack the brain of a 14, 15, 16 year old. I certainly didn't have the self awareness before any of that. So maybe he did create that, maybe he didn't.

[C]

Jason said it's been healing for him to Explore his kink. As he sees it, you can express non traditional sexual interests with other consenting adults or without abusing anyone. Jason has also thought about the times he's manipulated people or pushed their boundaries. Was that him or was that Mr. Hudson's influence?

[G]

Now that I've kind of owned this happened, this. This was an experience that influenced me. What behaviors, what thoughts do I have now that are a direct consequence of that, that were malformed? What do I do now that maybe emulates his behavior without even thinking about it? What do I, you know, how do I behave around other people? How do I think about people? And then just sort of this deep thought process of trying to extract Tom from my psyche, not purge him, but isolate him.

[C]

Jason isn't the only Garfield alum working to untangle Mr. Hudson's impact. Ocean Mason no longer idealizes the post 84 days. They now think of those experiences as manifestations of Mr. Hudson's methodical grooming process. But they are still trying to reconcile Mr. Hudson's mentorship and the harm he caused.

[F]

I am who I am today, and I am in the world and the way I am, in part due to the things that he gave me. And that's the part what I can't pull apart is that, like, they are. They are inextricably linked. And it's still hard for me to see cleanly what was mine and what was not mine was the good in service of the harm, you know, from him. And I don't think I have an answer to that. I don't know if there is an answer to that. But I do think that there are ways to get the good without the harm. That we can have amazing teachers who trust kids to be themselves, who give them adult responsibilities without, like, harming them in the process. Right. I think there are ways to do that without violating children.

[C]

Jonathan Hill, the former president of Post 84, told me he still carries the weight Mr. Hudson put on him.

[A]

That doesn't just go away. And I still think it's inside of me a bit, just like the deep pain he felt.

[C]

And then there are the girls you've heard from Rosie Bancroft and Maria. They still protect and care for the men Mr. Hudson abused as boys while trying to heal themselves. And my best friend, Ella Husaggen and me, who reported the abuse allegations against Mr. Hudson and caught hell for it. We have scars, some deeper than others, that may never fully heal. I called Seattle Public Schools to interview the superintendent for this podcast. For months, they didn't respond. I was eventually told nobody wanted to talk about such an old case. But for a lot of us, it's not old. The aftershocks of Tom Hudson's abuses reverberate today in every part of the survivors lives, in how they love, in how they parent, in how they think of themselves. And they wonder what might have been different if not for the man who preyed on them. But in this darkness, there is light. Jonathan, Ocean and Jason all shared their stories because they want other survivors of abuse to know things can get better. They took a leap of faith, took on the risk of personal expense exposure, hoping that this awareness will prevent abuse from happening to others or help those suffering from trauma realize they're not alone. Here's what Ocean told me about going public.

[F]

That's the piece that feels important about this, right? Like that we were each sitting in our own little worlds, maybe with like one or two other people sometimes without having the picture right, without having community to heal in. Right? If we sit in our silos and we try to heal individually without healing the communal harm too, like, I don't think we can heal all the way.

[C]

It's not fair that victims have to come forward and bear their pain again for change to happen. But that's what most institutions demand before they act against predators. Too often we wait for a victim to come forward before intervening. But what if we could stop predators before they do their damage? That's next on the season finale of Adults in the Room. On episode seven of Adults in the Room, for years, Tom Hudson's behavior alarmed students, parents and adults at Garfield. So how did he get away with abusing kids for so long?

[A]

I think there were a lot of good teachers, but to survive, a number of teachers just closed their doors and basically said, it's not my problem.

[C]

I'd like to believe that in the years since I graduated high school, things are better and kids are safer. But as new stories of abuse continue to plague our schools, I'm left wondering what we're still doing wrong and why schools seem more interested in bearing stories of abuse than addressing the problem head on. That's coming up next. Adults in the Room is part of Focus, a dedicated documentary channel from KUOW Public Radio in Seattle. A proud member of the NPR Network, KUOW podcasts are made possible because of listener support. If you enjoyed this podcast, please make a donation or become a monthly member at ko. Original reporting for this project was done by me, Isolde Raftery, Ella Hushagen, Jeannie Yandel, and Will James. Our producers are Will James and Alec Cowan. Our editor is Jeannie Yandel. Music by B.C. campbell. Additional music by Alec Cowan, logo design by Alicia Villa. Amelia Peacock manages our marketing and and promotions. KUOW's director of new Content is Brendan Sweeney. Our director of Marketing is Michaela Giannotti Boyle. Our director of Community Engagement is Zeki Hamid. KUOW's chief content officer is Marshall Eisen. I'm Isolda Raftery. Thank you so much for listening.

[H]

Soundside brings you beyond the headlines with news and conversation rooted in the Pacific Pacific Northwest. I'm Libby Denkman. Every week I sit down with local journalists for Soundside's Front Page, where we give you a shortcut to understanding the latest news and cultural moments and how they affect us here in the Puget Sound region. It's all here on Soundside, on the radio or streaming Monday through Thursday at noon and 8pm on KUOW, on the KUOW app, or wherever you get your podcasts.