SCRAPYARD: JFK Assassination & Jewish Jokes That Should Never Make Air

Summary

Podcast Summary: Louder with Crowder Episode: SCRAPYARD: JFK Assassination & Jewish Jokes That Should Never Make Air
Release Date: April 16, 2025
Host: Steven Crowder
Guests: Gerald, Josh, Noodles

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Introduction

In this episode of Louder with Crowder, host Steven Crowder, along with co-hosts Gerald and Josh, and guest Noodles, dive into a mix of off-the-air content, humorous anecdotes, and sharp political commentary. The episode, aptly titled "SCRAPYARD: JFK Assassination & Jewish Jokes That Should Never Make Air," explores a variety of topics ranging from bizarre animal encounters to sensitive political subjects, all delivered with the show's signature irreverent humor.

Scrapyard Segment: Content That Didn't Make Air

The Scrapyard segment serves as the backbone of this episode, where the team discusses content deemed too offensive, underdeveloped, or simply too humorous in its raw form to be broadcasted. Steven Crowder introduces the concept:

Steven Crowder [01:27]: "Not everything makes air. It could be far too offensive, half-baked, or just because it seemed funny the night before."

Australian Backyard Disaster

The trio recounts a bizarre story of an Australian homeowner who discovers over 100 red-bellied black snakes in his backyard:

Steven Crowder [04:18]: "A family in Sydney's west found more than 100 red bellied black snakes in their backyard."

The discussion humorously delves into the dangers of these venomous snakes and the homeowner's surreal experience of having snakes reproduce rapidly in a confined space.

The Big Balls Joke

A recurring joke centers around "Big Balls," a humorous take on a character with exaggerated physical attributes. The team crafts a series of puns and jokes around the term, leading to playful jabs at public figures:

Josh [13:59]: "Rachel Maddow is going to finally grow her hair out."
Steven Crowder [11:37]: "The funny thing is the only person who does not feel better about big balls is Rachel Maddow."

This segment showcases the group's knack for combining political commentary with slapstick humor.

Leftist New Year's Resolutions

In a satirical portrayal of leftist ideologies, the team presents a mock list of New Year's resolutions tailored to left-leaning individuals and public figures:

Gerald [14:33]: "The Young Turks will accept that they are in fact the Old Turks."
Josh [16:03]: "Oprah is going to go to Jimmy John's every day."

The resolutions lampoon figures like Kamala Harris, AOC, and Michelle Obama, blending absurdity with political satire.

JFK Assassination & Jewish Jokes

One of the most controversial parts of the episode revolves around the JFK assassination, intertwined with Jewish-themed humor. The team speculates on the release of JFK files, injecting conspiracy theories with comedic undertones:

Steven Crowder [30:00]: "My prediction, it was murder. So we had some other material here this day, which was that Rumblings."

The segment also touches on antisemitism on campuses, parodying serious topics with irreverent jokes:

Gerald [36:46]: "Anti Semitism is not just an age-old prejudice. It is a contemporary crisis manifesting on campuses across the nation."

The juxtaposition of sensitive political discourse with humor underscores the show's approach to tackling taboo subjects.

Comedy Sketches and Behind-the-Scenes Insights

Transitioning from the Scrapyard, the episode delves into the process behind creating comedic sketches. The team discusses the intricate work that goes into writing, prop-making, and performing:

Noodles [48:05]: "There are a lot of times, especially when it comes to advertisements, that we're finding we're shooting for a new sponsor or something the day before it's going to run."

Collaborative Creativity

The co-hosts share anecdotes about brainstorming and executing sketches, highlighting the collaborative nature of the show:

Josh [49:16]: "We just literally just find clips of people asking questions and then let Nick answer. And it's so funny."

Handling Sensitive Material

The team reflects on scrapped sketches that didn't resonate or crossed lines of taste, emphasizing the fine balance between humor and offensiveness:

Josh [43:20]: "I've always had a fantasy of having sex with a deaf girl... Just so that she could sign her safe word."

Steven Crowder [44:04]: "Maybe if you add it be like. Well, the problem is after sleeping with."

These discussions reveal the challenges of crafting jokes that are both funny and respectful, particularly when dealing with topics like disability and mental health.

Notable Interactions and Quotes

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in witty banter and playful insults, adding a layer of camaraderie and humor to their discussions:

Gerald [02:24]: "I want to fire Noodles now. Do you?"

Josh [06:05]: "Oprah is going to go to Jimmy John's every day."

These interactions not only entertain but also offer insights into the dynamic between the hosts and their guests.

Conclusion

The episode "SCRAPYARD: JFK Assassination & Jewish Jokes That Should Never Make Air" of Louder with Crowder masterfully blends political commentary with dark humor and behind-the-scenes anecdotes. By navigating through sensitive topics with a comedic lens, the hosts provide both entertainment and provocative insights, challenging listeners to reflect on the boundaries of humor and free speech. The inclusion of notable quotes and engaging discussions ensures that even those unfamiliar with the episode can grasp the essence of the content and the show's unique approach to current events and controversial subjects.

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Notable Quotes:

• Steven Crowder [04:18]: "A family in Sydney's west found more than 100 red bellied black snakes in their backyard."
• Gerald [14:33]: "The Young Turks will accept that they are in fact the Old Turks."
• Josh [43:20]: "I've always had a fantasy of having sex with a deaf girl... Just so that she could sign her safe word."
• Steven Crowder [36:46]: "Anti Semitism is not just an age-old prejudice. It is a contemporary crisis manifesting on campuses across the nation."
• Gerald [02:24]: "I want to fire Noodles now. Do you?"

These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of humor, political satire, and candid discussions, providing a snapshot of the episode's tone and content.

Transcript

[Steven Crowder]

Welcome Bongino army, of course, as Dan does his work there at the FBI. Vince, thank you for sending folks this way. Vince, which comes from the name Vincente, which actually translates from Latin to the hand that rocks the cradle. I don't know why you'd name your child the hand that rocks the cradle, but wops are a silly people. Let's enjoy the show. Glad to be with you. And today's a little bit different, especially for those of you who are not Rumble Premium members. You know, we've been doing this quite a while on the Friday show, which was very often only Mug club. Now, Rumble Premium members, anything that the rundown. What are we talking about today? What's in the news? You know, it's a live show, weekdays, 11am Eastern. But not everything we do here at the Lotto with Crowder Studios have a name for a studio. That's what I'm calling it. That's fine.

[Gerald]

Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

Not everything makes air. And by the way, that could be for a multitude of reasons, but all of them good. It could be it's far too offensive to be on air. It could be the idea is half baked. It could be that we didn't quite think it was ready for prime time. It could just be because we thought it was really funny the night before if we were writing a couple beers and the next morning it didn't even make any sense. So today's show, that seems like an attack. No, it's on me. Oh, is a scrapyard. See, even the Stingers have picked.

[Gerald]

Yeah, but that's better than my Stinger.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, and you should know, by the way, we were just talking about Vegas and Gerald and I were talking about how we didn't really like Vegas, and I mentioned the Bellagio buffet. And then you had your whatever quip and you guys, you all trying out smart. And then I was like, no, no, no. It's actually a good buffet, so you can get like unlimited crab. And I think. Did I hear this correctly? Did noodles sound off and say, I'm allergic to crab?

[Noodles]

No.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, no.

[Noodles]

I said something far more offensive.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, okay.

[Josh]

You said, he has crabs.

[Steven Crowder]

There's always someone who mentions that.

[Josh]

Which I thought that's what I thought you meant by Bellagio buffet. I thought you meant like, yeah, like one of those money ranch type places.

[Steven Crowder]

It's Vegas. It makes sense. But I thought you were one of those people who's allergic to shellfish who announces it to everybody.

[Noodles]

No, I'm not that shellfish.

[Steven Crowder]

Someone's like, no. Well, if there's Shellfish. And I'm even in the room. It's like we're clearly talking about a place that is several states away. You're not in any danger.

[Josh]

How do I throw a shrimp at you?

[Gerald]

I want to fire Noodles now. Do you? But I'm not that shellfish. Oh, my God.

[Josh]

I'm glad we didn't hear that. I'm glad I talked over it.

[Gerald]

Maybe you leave the studio right behind me.

[Josh]

There we go. That's pretty bad.

[Gerald]

Horrific. And I tell bad jokes.

[Steven Crowder]

Paula Poundstone's understudy.

[Josh]

You can see you're live at the Bellagio.

[Gerald]

Right next to the buffet.

[Steven Crowder]

I like it when my ladies wear suits now.

[Gerald]

Sure.

[Steven Crowder]

So there we go. We're just gonna get into it and you guys can let us know what else you want us to not allow to make air or you know what here. How about this comment below. What bit was on air in the last month or so that absolutely should not have been let. Let us know.

[Gerald]

There you go.

[Josh]

Oh, man. They say that about me every day.

[Steven Crowder]

They're going to. What they say it about? Don't take it personally.

[Josh]

I do.

[Steven Crowder]

The only reason they say to me is because Noodles doesn't talk that much. They don't think of him. He's not.

[Gerald]

But now they've removed. He's removed all doubt.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gerald]

By speaking.

[Steven Crowder]

It's going to be the shellfish bear. So. All right, here's the first one up. And keep in mind, I don't know, some of these are old, some of these are new. So I don't fully remember what these are. That's part of the. Part of the fun. An Australian homeowner made an unpleasant discovery. I have no idea what this is. Just it's like, could it be a pipe burst? Could it be aids?

[Gerald]

We're all on this journey together.

[Steven Crowder]

An Australian homeowner made an unpleasant discovery when working in his yard. Now, if you're a bit yellow bellied, you might want to look away.

[Josh]

I remember this.

[Steven Crowder]

A family in Sydney's west found more than 100 red bellied black snakes in their backyard.

[Josh]

My goodness.

[Steven Crowder]

Let's go live to Liam Tapper in Sydney.

[Gerald]

Liam, this is my worst nightmare.

[Josh]

Is your worst nightmare.

[Gerald]

I am that and finding a woman in my bed.

[Josh]

Covering this story this morning. A few days ago they'd say, is.

[Steven Crowder]

That the soundboard or was that in the. That was in the clip.

[Noodles]

That was the clip.

[Josh]

Wait.

[Steven Crowder]

Perfect timing, guys. You know, I'm tired today, so I can't tell. Wait.

[Gerald]

Just stop it.

[Steven Crowder]

Yes, yes. That was in the clip. Stop it.

[Josh]

There we go. That makes two of us.

[Gerald]

I am hysterical covering this story this morning.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, my God. Pause, pause. Noodles. You are the luckiest man on earth because you're. You're a front to. To my God. With your shellfish bit will be forgotten. Yes, and superseded with stupid, stupid. It was oddly like annoyed, flirtatious, but aggressively aroused.

[Noodles]

No, those two guys have definitely seen each other.

[Gerald]

Yes, they have.

[Josh]

I was like, I'm flirting with you, but I'm your boss.

[Gerald]

Yeah, that's awkward.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, don't mention me, Crabs. All right, let's continue talking about the red billy. I like the way they say billy.

[Josh]

So they called in the experts, the.

[Gerald]

Reptile recovery team here in Sydney, thinking.

[Josh]

They'D get four red bellied black snakes out of this pile, this pile of.

[Gerald]

Rubbish, this mulch, pile of sticks.

[Josh]

And that's not a snake. To their surprise, they found five red belly black snake.

[Steven Crowder]

What a surprise.

[Josh]

One more underneath them, 71 baby red belly black snakes. But if you thought that was bad.

[Steven Crowder]

I did.

[Josh]

There's more. They put those snakes into a belly mat for the course of about three to five hours. In that time, those, those lovely mothers, those babies are pregnant. Gave birth. They welcomed new life into this world.

[Steven Crowder]

Can't say mothers.

[Josh]

Total to 102 Red Belly Black snakes. Crikey. How would you be seeing that? Absolutely. My stomach is turning right now even talking about it. Me too.

[Gerald]

Whoa.

[Noodles]

The woman is far and away the most masculine.

[Steven Crowder]

I know. Those are the red bellies, you guys. Right here, you two. I'm looking at a couple of yellow bellies.

[Josh]

Yeah, that's how she started. If you're a yellow belly.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, yellow belly. I'm looking at two fruitcakes. A little light in the loafers. Two sprites.

[Gerald]

Stop it.

[Steven Crowder]

Shut up, fairy. Hey, everyone. Everyone better clap. Tell me, you, everyone say you believe in Gerald or old Doy, like a seal. Do you believe in Gerald? Yeah. Ah, there's a dead fairy. So by the way, I have to say this, the reason that I remember now, I didn't include the story, I was like, there is nothing notable about this in Australia.

[Gerald]

Yeah, this is like a Tuesday.

[Steven Crowder]

Like they're overselling. Like, would you believe there's more than four here? About five. Hey, about 100. And it's like, yes. The answer is yes. If Australia, we would believe any number. Their baby of deadly animals. So the red bellied snake is in fact venomous, because my notes say so. But the Australian museum notes, they are a sure snake and will generally only deliver A serious bite under severe molestation.

[Gerald]

I don't like the use of that word.

[Steven Crowder]

Haven't you heard about old Billy the Snake Rapist? We had to go around saying, hey, now, you stop bopping snakes.

[Gerald]

That's right.

[Josh]

Yeah. We used to call them the Moccasin Molester.

[Steven Crowder]

That's right. When he was done with him, we call him the Water Moccasin. He's a wit.

[Josh]

Moccasin.

[Steven Crowder]

Never mind. Yeah, go back to your shellfish, mate. All right, so the Oshoi snake. It will generally only deliver a serious bite on a severe molestation, which was bad news for this guy. I remember working on this. But the thing is, that's all we had for the story.

[Josh]

His snakes toxin, the other snakes, that's.

[Steven Crowder]

Well, scrap yard, they weren't biting him. No.

[Josh]

They like it. Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

His technique is he used to try and dangle his bits like a worm.

[Josh]

Did you see how they were dressed?

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. I'll tell you what, that black mum was asking for it.

[Josh]

Look at his scales.

[Steven Crowder]

To talk to.

[Josh]

Oh, she looks like an Australian guy.

[Gerald]

Way funnier than we thought it would be.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, well, look, there's a reason that. Because we have to stretch it out, because there's very little with some of these stories. So the next one is when we covered the big ball story. What's the big ball story?

[Gerald]

The big guy was named Big Balls.

[Josh]

Doge.

[Gerald]

Oh, yeah, the Doge Doge.

[Steven Crowder]

Okay, sorry.

[Gerald]

Also known as Big Balls.

[Steven Crowder]

You guys are used to a lot of people who use, like, prompter and I just have notes and I kind of am able to look. But then when you're far enough removed from them and it's a story that you clearly were so uninterested in that you didn't run. Doesn't. Big Balls. Now, I remember he put it all.

[Gerald]

In one place for you guys.

[Steven Crowder]

Well, my brain was still on the Snake Rapist.

[Gerald]

Yeah.

[Josh]

So you're like, in and out of Australia, too.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. When we covered the big Balls story, Big Balls, Tiny snake, filmed at 11, my brain, for a second, I was trying to do math and see what time that was. Central. I can't.

[Gerald]

I can't.

[Steven Crowder]

I can't do it now. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah. Now I'm thinking of the British broadcaster.

[Gerald]

Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

In the Panama Canal.

[Gerald]

The caricature of a.

[Steven Crowder]

So when we covered the big Ball story, originally, we actually came up with an idea for a song to go with it. Unfortunately, someone else kind of beat us to the punch. And that happens especially in the Era of the Internet where sometimes you spend a lot of time crafting out a joke or a series of jokes and someone will just sort of take like a premise, but the premise is used online and it can be half baked. Like, ah. We don't want to, you know, be seen as copying it. So sometimes it happens. And unlike your Colbert's or your Kimmels, we just try and avoid, you know, repeating it. So here is what we cut regarding big balls that day. He's got big balls.

[Noodles]

Oh, such big balls.

[Steven Crowder]

Truly big balls. Big balls.

[Josh]

Biggest of big balls.

[Noodles]

Come back.

[Josh]

Big balls.

[Steven Crowder]

We need you. Big balls.

[Josh]

Cuz he's got the biggest balls of them all.

[Gerald]

Who among us doesn't feel better about big balls? That kid is a legend.

[Steven Crowder]

The funny thing is the only person who you know does not feel better about big balls is Rachel Maddow.

[Gerald]

That's true. Doesn't matter to her at all.

[Josh]

Isn't like any balls.

[Steven Crowder]

I reckon. I reckon that woman's a dyke.

[Josh]

Maybe.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, I think she loves the ladies in. The ladies love hair.

[Gerald]

She's greater than that Australian guy.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. She would beat the guys out there. She would. Yeah. Stop it. Shut up. I will come through that prompter. I've never seen a super gay Australian. You think of them as rugged and masculine.

[Gerald]

Yeah, it's very effeminate.

[Steven Crowder]

It's kind of funny to think about it.

[Josh]

Yeah. But then they have thunder from down under.

[Gerald]

What?

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, but that's for women usually, isn't it?

[Josh]

Supposedly I've been to one.

[Gerald]

What?

[Steven Crowder]

Well, if you were, when you were there, it was gay. What the hell are we doing when you're not there? It's heterosexual.

[Josh]

You don't know thunder from down under?

[Gerald]

No, and I don't know that I want to now that I'm the context.

[Josh]

It's the world's most premier mail review.

[Steven Crowder]

Yes.

[Gerald]

Wait a minute. Yeah, it doesn't sound right.

[Steven Crowder]

No, no, it's a. It's a review. It makes it sound a lot more sophisticated than it is.

[Gerald]

Yeah, okay.

[Steven Crowder]

The lead in is a little one act about Watergate.

[Gerald]

He's not wrong. I don't know that we want to see.

[Steven Crowder]

Hey, hey, hey. Those muscles that might fly with those Kiwis a couple of hopscotches over. Not over here. We're a penal colony.

[Josh]

Step aside, Chippendale.

[Steven Crowder]

Where the. Where's 154 red bellies when you need them?

[Josh]

He had a flat belly. A ribbed belly.

[Steven Crowder]

I'll bet you he's had work done. Yeah, he has. So we came up with a New Year's theme, Seven Plus One, to kick off 2025. But we kept. I don't know why. We kept having to push it off for one reason or another until it was no longer New Year's. Kind of like saying Happy New Year's. You don't know when it sort of crosses over. But if you're in February, like, okay, I don't really. I'm not going to say it anymore, but that's what scrapyard shows are for. Which brings us to. You have a stinger, right? Yeah. Which brings us to this year's seven plus one. So this is seven plus seven plus one. New Year's Leftist New Year's resolutions in April.

[Gerald]

There we go.

[Steven Crowder]

In April.

[Gerald]

There you go.

[Steven Crowder]

All right. And some of these have photoshops. Josh, Mr. Firestein, take number seven.

[Josh]

Rachel Madow is going to finally grow her hair out.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, well, that's. Hey, it's Dynasty.

[Noodles]

Nice.

[Josh]

It's Nurse Strange. Dynasty. Took me a second. I thought he said Duck Dynasty. And I'm like, okay.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, switch the letter seven plus one. Leftist New Year's resolutions. Gerald. Number six.

[Gerald]

The Young Turks will accept that they are in fact the Old Turks.

[Steven Crowder]

Ah, long in the tooth. That one's number five. Ariana Grande is going to get her goal weight of zero. Oh, I would have thought for sure we'd have a photo shoot.

[Gerald]

I know of, like, anorexic Ariana Grande.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, I want to do number four. Seven plus one. Leftist New Year's resolutions. Number four. James Carville is going to finally release his new cookbook. I was just about to do Australia. Hold on, let me read it.

[Josh]

No, no, no, no.

[Steven Crowder]

All right.

[Gerald]

Shake it off, shake it off, shake it off.

[Steven Crowder]

All right. James Carville is going to finally release his new cookbook, Recipes from the Swamp.

[Josh]

I don't even know if that's a.

[Gerald]

Photoshop or Just looks real.

[Josh]

Just from his album.

[Steven Crowder]

Everything calls for a half cup of mud.

[Gerald]

I know.

[Josh]

Oh, half cup of mud. Gotta get dirty oven to get the gum. That's right.

[Steven Crowder]

Usually some of the bog mu act kind of like a mayonnaise on my bog swamp sandwich.

[Josh]

Yeah, we call that a bayou D.

[Gerald]

I hate that food.

[Steven Crowder]

Really?

[Gerald]

So bad.

[Steven Crowder]

I like Cajun food. No, you don't like crawfish at du.

[Gerald]

There is nothing about crawfish beta strips or anything else.

[Josh]

Yes. I love too much paprika.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, come on. You're denigrating an entire region of people.

[Gerald]

Sure, we should have never bought it.

[Steven Crowder]

All right, number three. Seven plus One New Year's resolutions. Firestein.

[Josh]

Oprah is going to go to the gym every day. Oh, I'm sorry. She's going to go to Jimmy John's every day.

[Steven Crowder]

What? I thought she was going to get physically fit.

[Gerald]

No.

[Steven Crowder]

The worst part about Oprah, she was. Do you guys remember in the 90s, it was an epidemic of her. Always she was dispensing some kind of diet or health advice. It's like. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure it works for you. We'll wait a couple weeks.

[Josh]

Yes, there's a surefire way to lose weight and then gain it back.

[Gerald]

Yeah, she always. Which was confusing. If you have a surefire way, you don't need another one.

[Josh]

She did lose a lot of weight a lot of times.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, well, that's when she was on the Gayle King diet.

[Josh]

Oh, just eating Snatch.

[Gerald]

Oh, that's a high calorie diet.

[Josh]

Sorry, they're just pals.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, no, no. Stedman knows how to love. Long time.

[Josh]

All right, number one, carpet diet. Call me Stanley Steamer.

[Steven Crowder]

Eating textiles. We don't do that. All right, number two, leftist plus leftist New Year's resolutions. Kamala Harris is going to stop drinking before noon. Yeah, that's more of a fact.

[Gerald]

Well, that's.

[Josh]

We don't know if that ever went through.

[Steven Crowder]

And number one, Geraldine. Number one, leftist New Year's resolution.

[Gerald]

Disneyland is actually adding a new park called DEI Kingdom.

[Steven Crowder]

Sorry, don't get eaten by Gaida.

[Gerald]

Not gonna work.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Steven Crowder]

And the plus one is actually seven plus one, New Year's resolutions. Brian Stelter is going to try, but then he's going to. And I know usually you'd play us out, but we have a bunch of others, too, because, like, this is one.

[Josh]

I was just gonna play this.

[Gerald]

Yeah, give it to man.

[Steven Crowder]

By the way, you know what? It's not really fair. Brian Stelter is not as big as you think. That's a shellfish reaction.

[Josh]

Oh, come on.

[Steven Crowder]

It's puffy. We had some additional leftist.

[Josh]

Oh, I thought you. I thought you were like, oh, it's a dig at noodles. I thought you were saying, like, shellfish. Like, he's, like, hogging that sandwich.

[Steven Crowder]

No, no, no. I was saying it's a shellfish reaction because, you know.

[Josh]

Oh, I see.

[Steven Crowder]

It's a scrap. It doesn't have to be great.

[Josh]

Fine.

[Steven Crowder]

So these are the New Year's resolutions. We can go through first, maybe. Josh, what is it?

[Josh]

It's Whoopi Goldberg is going to finally get tested for lice. What?

[Steven Crowder]

I don't have Lice child.

[Gerald]

Geez.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. Still, just act like there's no.

[Gerald]

Don't shoot the lice.

[Steven Crowder]

And another way Joe Biden is going to transition from diapers to pull ups.

[Gerald]

Good for him.

[Josh]

Making progress, mommy.

[Gerald]

Wow.

[Steven Crowder]

I'm a bricker now.

[Josh]

I'm a big boy now.

[Gerald]

Craps his pants.

[Steven Crowder]

One of my favorite moments of all time was his rage at Donald Trump. That debate.

[Josh]

Call him losers.

[Steven Crowder]

Losers and suckers here.

[Josh]

Loser, sucker. It was like the rage. He, like, forgot about the rage.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, exactly. I know.

[Gerald]

It's like Harrison Ford presidential kick him off your plane rage.

[Steven Crowder]

Yes, exactly. Get out of my pull up now, Gerald. The next one. Oh, yeah, this one. With his upcoming tightoff.

[Gerald]

Yeah. With his upcoming tight off Pete butt gig, will have another butt baby.

[Steven Crowder]

Wow.

[Josh]

Oh, that's nice.

[Gerald]

For the nobody child who's going through mental abuse right now.

[Steven Crowder]

Proper term is toilet baby now.

[Gerald]

Oh, yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

Another way Brian Selter will make over his man cave. And now he's gonna have a Photoshop.

[Gerald]

Which is clearly gay because his man cave is gay.

[Steven Crowder]

What was the next one, Josh? I don't even know why there's two of them.

[Josh]

Can I choose one?

[Steven Crowder]

Choose one.

[Josh]

Yeah. AOC is going to finally learn how to make a Jack and Coke.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, wow. It involves dancing. That's the only way I would. I would, you know, Jack and Coke from her. So another one is. Oh, Hillary Clinton is going to stop murdering people.

[Josh]

Unlikely. Unlikely.

[Steven Crowder]

This one doesn't even make sense. Gavin Newsom's going to stop playing with matches. Oh.

[Josh]

Because they were fires. Oh. At the time, this was. This was. This was hot.

[Steven Crowder]

This was hot. Stop. Yeah, this was. Yeah, this was hot off the press. Yeah, this was extra. Extra. No one should read all about it.

[Gerald]

Chuck Schumer's gonna take barbecue classes.

[Steven Crowder]

Thanks for stealing.

[Gerald]

I did. Yeah, absolutely. Because you were pausing this one.

[Josh]

Good.

[Gerald]

Because of the cheese. He put the cheese on the burger on the grill.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, that's what I want to explain. Okay. Yeah. A joke is always best when it needs explaining.

[Gerald]

Yeah, that's true.

[Josh]

This one was written about someone in Congress.

[Steven Crowder]

Who?

[Josh]

I don't know who they are, but their name sounds like a baseball player, so it's confusing. David Ortiz is gonna stop skipping leg day. I think that's a crippled guy. Oh, I think that's a wheelchair guy.

[Steven Crowder]

Shows how much we care. Where again, usually I don't. I don't. I'm not gonna lie to you. I don't know. He could be. Let's say he is. Makes it funnier. Makes it Passable, for sure. Michelle Obama. These are leftist New Year's resolutions. Michelle Obama will finally work on her traps. Just kidding. It's her strong suit. She doesn't need any trap work.

[Gerald]

It's always trap day.

[Steven Crowder]

It's always trap day.

[Josh]

Ah, man, this one's really messed up.

[Steven Crowder]

I'm trying to remember. Yeah, when we wrote this, it was after. Okay? You'll understand why it was already after. Go ahead and read it, Josh.

[Josh]

Jimmy Carter will be taking some time off.

[Steven Crowder]

He was dead.

[Gerald]

So will Val Kilmer.

[Josh]

Yikes, Gerald.

[Gerald]

Well, I mean, read the room. I'm a fan and it's sad. It is sad because he's under 95.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, you're all torn up about it.

[Josh]

Yeah. You're a real maverick.

[Steven Crowder]

Sure. Okay, I'm just gonna rattle through these. I was saying, one of us, Joy Behar, will finally find out what smell is. Bang. Jay Z is going to sleep with fewer minors. Diddy's going to throw less parties. Elliot Paige is seriously thinking about transitioning into something. Justin Trudeau will be getting back with the gang for a new minstrel show tour. That one could have been good with a Photoshop.

[Gerald]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Alec Baldwin is applying for his concealed carry permit.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. Yeah, I'd be worried. Forgive me if I think he's a little rusty. Oh.

[Josh]

Oh, shut up, shellfish.

[Steven Crowder]

You started this.

[Gerald]

You did.

[Steven Crowder]

You started this. And I was trying to make it a human so you didn't feel like you were alone in it. And then you made me feel like I was alone in it. Piece of. Tim Walls is going to try and get that head coaching job.

[Gerald]

Not good for him.

[Josh]

Is that a football thing or is that a sexual thing?

[Steven Crowder]

I don't know. I don't understand the next one at all. I don't even.

[Josh]

Tom Hanks is going to make more time for Greece.

[Steven Crowder]

What?

[Josh]

Oh, because he's a Greek citizen? Because he is accused pedophile.

[Gerald]

Huh?

[Josh]

You can be a pedophile in Greece. It's a whole thing. That's this one. I didn't write it.

[Steven Crowder]

This next one doesn't work anymore. Harry Sisson is gonna have to find a new daddy. But now we know he's not gay.

[Josh]

Yeah, well.

[Steven Crowder]

Let'S just do. You know, let's just do the last one, because we don't need the just the last one. Josh.

[Josh]

Stephen Colbert is going to try comedy.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, hey, there you go. There's a novel idea. This has been the way too long this year. Seven plus one. You forgot the van in the chamber.

[Noodles]

I want to vindicate Josh David Ortiz is a wheelchair guy.

[Steven Crowder]

Now it's funny again.

[Josh]

Hey, alley oop me. Alley oot me, boom. You guys hear the. The dunk?

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Oh, I missed mine.

[Steven Crowder]

Miss a second. We need a black guy in here. So.

[Josh]

I've been saying that for a while.

[Steven Crowder]

I know, but for different reasons. That's when you came back from Thunder Down Under. You were just. You were. You were.

[Gerald]

He's used to a certain.

[Josh]

You know, I prefer thunder from Deep South.

[Steven Crowder]

Yes, yes, that's right. Because you got them swamp boys and I'm swamp ass. That's right. They used to call me Swamp Thing.

[Gerald]

James Carville is a member of Thunder Down Under.

[Steven Crowder]

Gross. We're presenting now. Coming up the stage, Swamp Thing. Get it now.

[Josh]

Get it.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, get it now.

[Josh]

You want your Swamp Thing.

[Steven Crowder]

Come on, fiddle with her. Going like the Gator Strip. Nah, nah, nah. So stupid. That's James Carville's Gator Papas.

[Josh]

Carville and the Gator Mamas.

[Gerald]

It's a etouffee and naked people.

[Steven Crowder]

That's right. That's some old Carmel caramel. What? You're gross.

[Noodles]

Oh, damn.

[Josh]

Carmel and Dumbo girl.

[Steven Crowder]

I'm horny. All right. So you might remember a few weeks back when this European member of. This Member of Parliament, Raphael Glucksman, far left Frenchman, demanded that Americans return the Statue of Liberty to France. Here's a refresher. As a man who speaks French, I still do readily admit that it. There's no way for it to not sound gay.

[Gerald]

That's true.

[Josh]

America. I can't even do it. America.

[Steven Crowder]

Well, it sounds very different from French Canadian. Like, okay, I'll give it to you without even speaking French. See if you can hear the difference. Like, French Canadian is redneck and French from France is like, please get me a penis like French Canadian. Be like, ah, right. It doesn't sound pretty.

[Gerald]

I got the last part.

[Josh]

I feel like you have to do that thing with your mouth, but you make it look like a.

[Steven Crowder]

Down under. Back that up over here. So we came up with a bunch of different bits on the Statue of Liberty thing. Giving it back before we ended up landing on. And you saw these Photoshops. Glucksman, Gluckman's backup offer. That was the historic trailer we take it for. I think it was 40 cases French wine. I don't know what.

[Josh]

Nude beaches.

[Steven Crowder]

Nude beaches and half of Gerard Depardo.

[Gerald]

I don't know why we went with half of Gerard Depardeau.

[Steven Crowder]

Because it's funny. Leave that to me.

[Josh]

I don't know, it's funnier.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, it is funnier.

[Gerald]

It is funny.

[Steven Crowder]

That's not even the first iteration of half of Gerard Depardieu. We saw it. We were like, that's wrong.

[Josh]

Yeah. We were like, no, we need just the top half.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And we need it to be a little bloody. And he's got to be smiling.

[Gerald]

Yes.

[Steven Crowder]

And then we also had another Photoshop as to what Donald Trump was going to use the cash for after pawning the Statue of Liberty. And then it was using. Yeah. Tesla. Yeah.

[Gerald]

Did we end up using that somewhere else?

[Steven Crowder]

No, we did. We did use it.

[Josh]

Used it.

[Gerald]

Oh, okay.

[Steven Crowder]

We did use it. What you didn't see was our first idea, which was President Trump proposed giving it up and replacing it with a statue of rfk. Actually, now I kind of. Yeah, I kind of don't mind it. Zinn percent and. But forgot. I think we did it. And then someone was like, why does he have a Zinn? I'm like, don't you know he had a Zinn at the hearing, at the confirmation, I'm like, ah. I guess if.

[Josh]

Gotta cut it, just cut it.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, you gotta.

[Noodles]

I thought that was.

[Josh]

I think you would.

[Steven Crowder]

For 71, he looks pretty jacked.

[Gerald]

Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

Which is exactly what you can expect if you get the jacked up Fitness Power Rack. Yeah, the Pro. Actually, right now, I think they're out of. Or right now temporarily out of the Evolution, because so many of you went and purchased it. I think. I know they're adding more stock to it, but the jacked up Power Rack Pro is the best. It's the top of the line where you'll never need to upgrade anything. The pulley system is incredibly. We have one here at the office gym. It's what we largely use. It comes with a full set of their branded bumper plates. And by the way, that means they're all the same diameter, which makes it quite convenient. For example, if you have to deadlift and you don't want to have to do a deficit. They have a fully adjustable incline decline bench which comes with it. And they also, by the way, have some daily video workouts. Oh, yeah. We don't necessarily need this, but if you're new and you're getting started, they're very helpful. You just hit play and you can go watch their videos. So use the promo code crowder. Save 10% off your entire purchase and go to getjackedup.com. what does this say? Someone tried to thought this was cute. It says gravelly voice not included. That's not good. Guys.

[Josh]

Are they giving us jokes?

[Steven Crowder]

That's no good.

[Gerald]

Maybe gravelly voice not included.

[Steven Crowder]

Is it just me? And I have this written twice. The commercial in front of me. All right, rfk, let's go. Jfk.

[Gerald]

Okay.

[Steven Crowder]

Help me out.

[Gerald]

I don't think we should do the gunshots.

[Steven Crowder]

Haven't there been.

[Josh]

Hey, Billy saved it, Gerald.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Just make sure that if we're talking jfk, the gunshot, there's a ricochet sound of a second shooter. Yeah, right. I'm trying to remember where this is going because I'm like, how tasteless is this going to be? Every now, every time I do this, I'm always a little worried because it's either something like, okay, shouldn't have made air, or it's something that we absolutely did not want the public to see. And when I'm thinking JFK and what's been surrounding. And I'm like, this could go sideways.

[Gerald]

Are we going to be like, it was the Jews?

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, well, I mean, we're obviously all starting from that premise, so are there a lot of.

[Gerald]

I don't know, there was a rabbi on the grassy knoll.

[Steven Crowder]

So just look, we'll go back in time. Okay. Again, Scrap yard. Recently, President Trump appeared at the Kennedy center and announced the release of the JFK files.

[Noodles]

We are tomorrow announcing and giving all of the Kennedy files. So people have been waiting for decades for this. I don't believe we're going to redact anything. I said just don't redact.

[Steven Crowder]

You can't redact. Have you seen what's in the files?

[Josh]

Have you read them?

[Noodles]

I've heard about them.

[Josh]

Anything interesting?

[Noodles]

It's going to be very interesting.

[Josh]

Interesting.

[Noodles]

It's many pages. Is it 80,000 pages? Approximately 80,000 pages. So it's a lot of stuff. And you'll make your own determination.

[Steven Crowder]

My prediction, it was murder. So we had some other material here this day, which was that. Rumblings. Oh, okay. I remember this. Yeah, I don't like it. Rumblings are. It was really Ted Cruz's dad all along.

[Gerald]

Uh oh.

[Steven Crowder]

And it was take your kid to work day. And Alex Jones was right all along.

[Josh]

Yep.

[Gerald]

And I think this is because that was not Dealy Plaza at all.

[Steven Crowder]

No, that's what it was. We were like, what?

[Gerald]

It's like a fence and a road.

[Josh]

That'Ll succeed.

[Noodles]

You'll never see it coming.

[Josh]

But little. Little Ted Cruz with big Ted Cruz head and a lollipop is pretty fun.

[Steven Crowder]

That is fun.

[Gerald]

Saves it a little.

[Steven Crowder]

That is fun. But for some reason we thought the Historical accuracy as to the location was the rate limiting factor in this?

[Josh]

We had other jokes. We had other ones.

[Gerald]

No, that works. That works out pretty well.

[Josh]

By the way.

[Gerald]

I thought it was hilarious that all this did. He's like, it's pretty. It's pretty eye opening. All this did was make people go, the Jews killed Kennedy because, like, oh, the CIA redacted the Israel stuff and all the Jews.

[Steven Crowder]

But they didn't. No, but that's the funny thing that didn't because people were like, they were dext. Like, you're reading Israel right here.

[Gerald]

No, I know exactly. We talked about that. But when he said that, now that I know, like, in hindsight, either he knew exactly what he was doing or he had no idea what he's doing there. Right.

[Steven Crowder]

Hey, I had a tool man. Do we have a. Do you have some of the btf BTS slots in there at all? Because I don't know. No, I think I could get them.

[Gerald]

Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

Okay. If you want to grab a couple, we might have. We can combine that here with the scrap yard. Here's the other story that we had covered. Guys, did I miss anything? Anyone want to. No, just me.

[Gerald]

You're good. Well, hold on. One quick question.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, yeah.

[Gerald]

Did you see on the Statue of Liberty how they said that that was actually a Satanic.

[Steven Crowder]

Who did?

[Gerald]

So somebody was on Joe Rogan, say. He said it was actually a statue of Satan. Can you pull up the side by side for that? The Statue of Liberty and Satan, they're saying that it was like an ancient. It looks exactly like Satan because they're like, it's a far too masculine looking woman. That's not the statue. I did always think it was a.

[Steven Crowder]

Pretty manly looking woman.

[Gerald]

It is a little manly, I'll give you that.

[Steven Crowder]

But.

[Gerald]

But you know, they're like, this person has a shackle on their ankle just like this satanic statue did that right there. So what's really interesting, do me a favor, find the painting of Lucifer and get the full painting. Because when you look at it like that, you're like, wow, that looks pretty similar.

[Josh]

Yeah, Both arms are up in that painting.

[Gerald]

Exactly. In the painting, both arms are spread kind of like staggered. Like they're like taking a stance or something like that. I can't remember. But this made the rounds when everybody started. Like, I can't believe it. And this guy's like, look, it's Lucifer. Yeah, Statue of Liberty. Look. And it's the French.

[Josh]

It's also. It's just. It's a statue. It's a picture like we don't actually know what Lucifer looks like.

[Gerald]

Right. That's true. That's true. But if they're saying, hey, this is Lucifer, and then, I mean, the Koreans.

[Josh]

Think that Jesus is ripped and has slanted off.

[Steven Crowder]

Yes.

[Josh]

I mean, I believe he's ripped, but I think he had wide open.

[Gerald]

He used the jacked up fitness.

[Steven Crowder]

Yes, he did, I'm sure.

[Gerald]

What do you think he went away for three days to do, Josh.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gerald]

He wanted to get in shape, get ripped, come back.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. He needed three days of recovery.

[Gerald]

There you go.

[Josh]

Get that pump on. Celebrate Easter with a jacked up.

[Noodles]

Oh, God.

[Gerald]

Jacked up.

[Josh]

Jacked up Evolution.

[Steven Crowder]

Resurrect yourself from the three days of being a one.

[Noodles]

Guess why Gerald wanted to pull this painting.

[Josh]

Wow, Gerald. You begged us. No one. No one brought this up. Gerald wanted it.

[Gerald]

I didn't. Didn't realize that.

[Steven Crowder]

Am I the only one, though, who does recognize that? Hey, whoever did, like, did a very respectable job on Lucifer's wheels, so. It's nice. Nice quads.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. That's some good legs.

[Josh]

Yeah. He can move.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gerald]

Satan never skips leg day.

[Steven Crowder]

No, he definitely does not. Same thing with the statue of David. You know, it's funny.

[Gerald]

Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

Like, you look at the standards of penis, everything else aside from the tiny penis.

[Gerald]

Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

But you look at the. Which, by the way, I don't know why you have a problem with it.

[Gerald]

No, it's hilarious that all the old.

[Josh]

It looks pretty big to me.

[Gerald]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Sure. What are you, Chinese?

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. Okay. Humble, brag.

[Josh]

Tall, handsome.

[Steven Crowder]

But the standard of.

[Gerald]

You'd have to use a banana leaf on me. Fig leaf won't cover it.

[Steven Crowder]

It's funny to me because I'll talk about the differing sort of changing standards of beauty in women, and that's kind of true. Not for men. Even back then, it's like, oh, yeah, for a very handsome man, you have to be jacked and ripped like, which is very difficult to attain. Can you bring up that statue, the famous David statue? And you know the one thing that you do notice, though, for sure, because he had a lot of athletes back then, when you're even going back to you. But you did have a lot of athletes, the original Olympians, they're jacked and they're ripped. But here's the primary difference that you notice. And this is kind of, kind of developed with the modern advent of weightlifting because they would lift up boulders. I mean, they lift up other people.

[Gerald]

Practical.

[Steven Crowder]

But there really was no horizontal, like a bench press. So they typically always have pretty big legs. And even for today, like, okay, guys, big legs, pretty big shoulders, wiry arms. But they don't have the pecs. The pecs kind of have to be artificially created. You have to kind of position yourself horizontally nowhere. Do you really do that naturally?

[Gerald]

Yeah, you can do push ups, I guess, but that's it.

[Steven Crowder]

It wouldn't get you, you know, like the Arnold pecs. Like it requires a lot of work, but yeah, if we bring up the statue of David. Yeah. See they've, they've always Sanui legs and then if you look at the other, you know, the other soldiers back then you're like, okay, but they never had big pecs.

[Josh]

Good set of nuts on that guy.

[Steven Crowder]

Big set of nuts.

[Gerald]

Yeah. It's bigger than his penis. Look at that.

[Steven Crowder]

That's maybe why his.

[Josh]

That's normal, Gerald.

[Steven Crowder]

That's why his wiener looks.

[Gerald]

Hey, I'm sorry.

[Josh]

I'm just saying that's not.

[Gerald]

Well, there is.

[Steven Crowder]

Your nuts are supposed to be larger than your pecker. It's. It's nature's bench rest.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Gerald]

I can't say anything else.

[Steven Crowder]

So. A little while ago we covered a Senate hearing where Rabbi Levi Shemtov raised the issue not only of anti Semitism on campus, but he said it's not enough to be. To not be anti Semitic, you have to be anti anti Semitic. Here's a refresher.

[Josh]

Anti Semitism is not just an age old prejudice. It is a contemporary crisis manifesting on campuses across the nation. It is not enough for individuals or institutions to merely claim they are not anti Semitic. As my father once taught me, it is not enough for people, especially public figures, to be neutral or not be anti Semitic. One must be anti antisemitic. We must demand the same of our.

[Steven Crowder]

Universities and government institutions.

[Josh]

This hearing, in my opinion, is an attempt to be just that, anti anti Semitic.

[Steven Crowder]

Well, I want to play that again and it still makes me kind of angry, but I didn't notice before in the background, if you look, it kind of looks like the orthodox mafia, like the one guy. Yeah, yeah. But then if you look the back and watch this clip to his right, our left, it looks like that guy is constantly looking toward the door for like an active shooter scenario. Watch.

[Josh]

Antisemitism is not just an age old prejudice. It's a contemporary crisis manifesting on campuses across the nation. It is not enough for individuals or institutions to merely claim they are not anti Semitic. Whoa, whoa. Those things are crossing a little bit. People, especially public figures, to be neutral or not be anti Semitic. One must be anti Semitic. We must demand the same.

[Steven Crowder]

He keeps looking over.

[Gerald]

He's looking at that Jewish guy.

[Josh]

This hearing of look.

[Noodles]

He keeps looking.

[Steven Crowder]

He keeps looking. I wonder if there's a rabbi off camera with, like a rattle.

[Josh]

Hey.

[Steven Crowder]

What?

[Noodles]

Hey.

[Steven Crowder]

It's just weird.

[Josh]

The dreidel. Hey.

[Steven Crowder]

So, Rabbi, you can't say anti anti Semitic. We, of course, asked what this rabbi wanted us to do to make our colleges more pro Jew with this Photoshop. Yeah, that's right.

[Noodles]

Jew.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. What we didn't air was I never wore that shirt. And the reason is scrapyard, by the way. Just so you know, we are shielded from any and all legal liability or offense that may be caused because it's scrapyard.

[Gerald]

Yeah, that's true.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. We didn't mean for this to happen.

[Josh]

We didn't actually air it. Yeah, we talked about how we didn't air it.

[Steven Crowder]

Exactly right.

[Josh]

And referenced it. It's completely different.

[Gerald]

That is true.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Josh]

It's like saying the N word in a rap song.

[Steven Crowder]

Yes, it's exactly like that. What we didn't air. We didn't air was the other part of this bit. So to help with the cause, some campuses. All right, I'll go back as though in the present time because this is to help with the cause, some campuses are offering free Star of David armband so that everyone knows who to be nice to.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah. We needed the band. The. Everything else wasn't enough. The face that says, I make the bagels.

[Steven Crowder]

That'S a reference to the Dunkin Donuts guy, right? I make the donuts. What happened to that guy? He's probably dead.

[Josh]

The face that said, I could set your jewelry.

[Steven Crowder]

Yes, exactly. He says, hey, come see me in the diamond district.

[Josh]

Hey, why do they all sound like that? By the way, that rabbi had that accent. He's from Reno.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, I don't know. I really don't know.

[Josh]

He's probably from New York.

[Steven Crowder]

But this is a new watch. And I always say, you know, I know what you're saying. Is this watch battery powered? Is it solar powered? No, it's me powered.

[Josh]

What do you got there? Blues Clues?

[Steven Crowder]

No.

[Josh]

Imax. What do you got there?

[Steven Crowder]

It's Peppa Pig.

[Josh]

It's clock.

[Steven Crowder]

Yes. The one thing though, with these old. This. These watches, and I do like it is. Is all the calendar always goes to 31, so you always have to reset it, like in the first of the month.

[Gerald]

You said you do like it.

[Steven Crowder]

No, I don't like.

[Gerald]

Oh, you don't. I was about to say, yeah, why.

[Steven Crowder]

Do you take what I say? And then I thought you said do. I didn't say do.

[Gerald]

Well, I mean, I just wasn't paying attention.

[Steven Crowder]

You didn't hear me say I like it. You heard me say I don't like, like it.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I heard you say, why do you.

[Gerald]

Have to turn to him who sold me out over the crab? Being a crab and not a lobster and Little Mermaid.

[Steven Crowder]

You know that, what you just said.

[Josh]

Why are you bringing this back up?

[Gerald]

Yeah, bringing it back up because you're not actually.

[Josh]

We don't even remember that.

[Gerald]

Truth.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. I think he's making it up.

[Josh]

That's made up.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, noodles, belly tooling. I think Gerald's dropping asset again.

[Josh]

I didn't watch the Little Mermaid.

[Steven Crowder]

I think he was doing.

[Josh]

I'm not woke enough.

[Steven Crowder]

Nope.

[Gerald]

No, I'm just saying you sold me out last time and I haven't forgotten.

[Steven Crowder]

You know, you are even dictated for a big man. You are a very small person. I remember.

[Gerald]

Shut up.

[Steven Crowder]

You are petty and small minded. Thank you for such a large Aryan. We were just talking about like stand up bits that you've had to scrap.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Steven Crowder]

Do you have some that stick out?

[Josh]

There are some that I find funny either. I didn't get the point across. Right. Well, I didn't get the wording across. Right. But the audience didn't receive them as well as I'd hoped.

[Steven Crowder]

Okay.

[Josh]

Like I did this one bit. It's. I've always had a. I've always had a fantasy of having sex with a deaf girl.

[Gerald]

Deaf?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

Okay.

[Josh]

Just so that she could sign her safe word.

[Steven Crowder]

Okay. It doesn't work. No.

[Josh]

And then I would not really. A couple guys will laugh, but then I would turn around and go like. Like that and go.

[Steven Crowder]

I'm surprised that didn't work.

[Josh]

I think it's the voice. I think that's the part.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh.

[Josh]

And I go, I don't know what that means. Speak English, bitch.

[Steven Crowder]

Maybe if you add it be like. Well, the problem is after sleeping with. If you do that and tag it with. The problem is after sleeping with multiple deaf women, turns out they all have the same safe word. And sign. It's. How many ways can you sign? Stop. I am surprised that didn't work. I had a bit like that about Charlie Brown shooting up the school when I was young. Really?

[Josh]

That's very similar.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. No, I'm just saying it was tough to make work because I had him like holding Linus hostage and making him cuddle his blankie. And saying his last words. It was one of those things I was early on where it was too dark and I didn't know how to transition it into something funny. I did have some things that I would have to. So I had to scrap. I had a bit about Charlie and the chocolate factory and the piece of crap grandfather who was a cripple until he knew he could get some free chocolate because John Mulaney ended up doing something very similar. I was like, well, then people think that I lifted it. The same thing I stopped doing. Well, I kind of stopped doing the one bit that I did about Donald Trump at debates. Because Shane Gillis and his is very funny. He did it even though after, like mine goes back to 2015, you can see a YouTube installment like, Ah, well, special. Yeah, he did on a special. You just don't want to. You don't want to feel like you run into the same territory. Yeah, but you know, I don't.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

Even Any other bits that you scrapped, Josh?

[Josh]

Yeah, I just had one of my. I was gonna say something. Then you went into Shane Gillis thing.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh.

[Josh]

It was a joke that I did was exactly the same as somebody else's. And I didn't want to keep doing it because I felt like I was lifting it. I read Jim Gaffigan's book.

[Steven Crowder]

Okay.

[Josh]

I read part of it. And I actually stopped reading the book when I read the joke that I used to tell on stage. And it was right after my wife and I had her first baby. That's what I'd say is that my wife and I just had our first baby. It was delicious.

[Steven Crowder]

Okay.

[Josh]

But that's what was in his book. It's like word for word that. And then another time I had done that was it's not the exact same joke, but it's the same style. And I feel like he owns it. But Mitch Hedberg has a joke where he goes, I used to do drugs. I still do drugs, but I used to too.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And everyone knows that joke. Every comic knows that joke. And one time I was telling a story about my brother and he has down syndrome. And I said, right, okay, okay, Charlie Brown. I said the words wrong. I meant to say something like, growing up, my brother had down syndrome. And then go into the story. But I said, when I was a kid, my brother had down syndrome. And then, oh, he still does. But immediately I was like, oh, you friggin hack.

[Steven Crowder]

No, but that's just probably. That was just like a word whisker. That's funny.

[Josh]

A word whisker.

[Steven Crowder]

Well, I just mean, it's like, you know, it tickles you. Well, no, it's. You said it. Well, did you write it or did you said it on the spot?

[Josh]

I said it on the spot, Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

I think that's funny.

[Josh]

Well, I'm not gonna do it again.

[Steven Crowder]

I mean, unless he's the first. Like, he'd be a miracle of modern medicine if he just, like, woke up one day and came out looking like Jude Law.

[Josh]

You donated a chromosome.

[Steven Crowder]

What you do. You just. You run that Instagram.

[Josh]

He's the other way around. Down syndrome has an extra chromosome. So it's like, if they could surgically remove one and then his eyes would go back to normal, that would be.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Incredible science.

[Steven Crowder]

That would be very.

[Josh]

Oh, here's another bit, too, about my brother. See, there's a lot of bits of my brother I don't tell on stage because I'm like, there's no way. Like, I don't. I do a great impression of my brother, but I'm not gonna do because I'm like, people are gonna be. Why so offended?

[Steven Crowder]

Why is your brother. Don't let them take that from you. Yeah.

[Josh]

The voice feels, like, a little too much, really, sometimes. Yeah.

[Steven Crowder]

I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna force you anything you're uncomfortable with, but, you know, if you. I want to see this.

[Josh]

I'm not gonna do it. No, I'm not gonna do it. Do it.

[Noodles]

It's a live scrapping. See, I told you.

[Josh]

I told you. You are the worst sneaky food in the house.

[Steven Crowder]

That's. I don't even know him, but I feel like I'm there.

[Josh]

Yeah. I used to sleep, eat. I sleep eat. Yeah. I would get up in the middle of night and eat food. I didn't realize that it was me doing it until I was in the army and I got caught by my platoon sergeant while he was sleeping. I was butt naked. I slept naked. We're in Afghanistan. Whatever.

[Steven Crowder]

But I sleep naked always.

[Josh]

It's the only way to sleep. Butt naked in front of him, eating the Oreos that his wife had just sent him. No, I ate the whole container. He said, I didn't want to wake you up because, I mean, I could take you, but. But sleep, you don't. You're not supposed to wake up a sleepwalker.

[Steven Crowder]

No, no, no, no, no. And so, plus, you're naked.

[Josh]

So I just. I basically just right in front of him was eating the Oreos that his wife had said. And that's when I discovered that another. Because Another guy was like, oh, yeah, he. I saw you eating in your sleep the other month or whatever. And so I was like, oh, have I been doing this my whole life? And then it just had, like, a revel. A revelation in my head. Like, all the times in my life where I've been sleep eating. And it got blamed on my brother because he had down syndrome. And so, like, my dad would find, like, cereal bowls with, like, just a little bit of milk.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Josh]

In the bowl, like, hidden under the bathroom sink.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. Of course you'd blame him.

[Josh]

And so that's my brother. My brother will hang on to it for the rest of, like.

[Gerald]

See, I told you.

[Josh]

You are the one sneaky food in the house.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah. I didn't even prompt you See, he's okay with it now.

[Josh]

Yeah, I may have done.

[Steven Crowder]

And no one believes.

[Josh]

Yeah, exactly. I'm the monsters. Letting him take the blame for this.

[Steven Crowder]

Oh, man, that's like a nightmare where you're screaming and nothing comes out. But he knows he's right and no one believes him. It's not what you. It's not because of what he's actually doing it. You know what? Be really, like, that's. I've heard of that. And it is surprising because I get night terrors. And it is surprising, but it's not as surprising as, like, for example, it would be really crazy if you woke up in the middle of night, people found you sleep dieting, sleep dying.

[Noodles]

I wish I was keeping a food.

[Josh]

I wish I had sleep bulimia.

[Steven Crowder]

Sleeper side. And they blame it on your brother.

[Josh]

Ah, you puked in your brother's bed again. No.

[Steven Crowder]

Well, I'm just gonna say that you did because it's easier for me to blame this on you than it is for me to get to the bottom of it. And you know what? Hey, maybe you're getting the short end of the stick, but this is part and parcel of being retarded. We actually do have. I believe. Yeah. We have some behind the scenes. So for some people, this is the first time you're seeing. Well, not the show, but the first time you've seen one of these segments behind the scenes. BTS, the kids call it. It's also a Korean band. I believe. It's a K pop band.

[Josh]

Yeah, it stands for big trans sex.

[Steven Crowder]

Okay, all right, let's go with that. I was gonna say I can't tell the women from the men with a K pop band, so I don't even know. I don't know if it's supposed to be their Equivalent to Spice Girls or nsync. It's all the same to me. That's why I like the United States of America, where the men are still mental and the women. All right, Korea, you got us on that one. Bts, do you want to see how the sausage is made? Here you go. Okay. And action. My name is Crowder, Commander of Ladder with Crowder Leader. So sketches.

[Noodles]

A lot more goes into them than it might seem. It's way more involved than I thought it would be. It starts off with the writers.

[Josh]

I do write sketches to screw with people personally, like Gerald.

[Noodles]

Wardrobe, props. I mean, I freaked out when I got here and I saw the production level. I mean, just the wardrobe. I've done shows at NBC and ABC that don't have that much wardrobe, visual effects.

[Josh]

I didn't realize what everyone here was capable of. And so I was writing things like, oh, we can't do that. Can't do that. And then Johnny would be like, why not? I'm like, oh, because. Well, I mean, it's got this multiple shots, and there's part of a movie. It's a parody, and we gotta bring this. And he's like, that's not for us to figure out. Okay, we'll see if that gets made. And then, sure enough. It's amazing. I'm like, what?

[Noodles]

There's so much that goes into 20, 30 second clip on air. It's your friend Colonel slanders again. We've done so many good things here. What was the one where he was my psychiatrist?

[Steven Crowder]

Sinead O'Connor, who I couldn't help but picture in the back of my mind as the many that Nick DePaolo saw in my Rorschach test. I'm sorry. See you again in two months.

[Josh]

I like to bat. Money's a lot. That's fun. Cause I get to be. I get to be a little wild.

[Noodles]

And Josh, killer. Kill her. You're gonna lose everything.

[Steven Crowder]

We lose.

[Noodles]

Or am I gonna lose our country?

[Josh]

We're gonna lose it. I'm losing my mind here. I just take a lot of hits. I do take a lot of hits. I do a lot of falls. I think physical comedy's funny.

[Noodles]

Billy the Magician is probably my favorite in recent years.

[Josh]

I love getting to quanch.

[Noodles]

Josh get smashed over the head with a bottle and that magician's sleazy laugh.

[Josh]

And the best part, what, you know.

[Noodles]

People don't is, you know, we gotta order those bottles. We have a lot of stuff we do for each of those.

[Steven Crowder]

So every time we do that bid.

[Noodles]

It'S about a $30 bid, at least. Oh, the other thing is crowded with his impressions. I know we did a few voices.

[Steven Crowder]

Back in the day. Someone like Kamala Harris would say, I did sesame seed bun and french fries. But now you have Donald Trump going like, oh, she loves French fries. She can't get enough of them. She just does the machine, I guess. French fries, onion rice, Popeyes.

[Noodles]

I can't believe how talented he is. And I'm not just kissing his ass because it's way too harried.

[Steven Crowder]

Sweaty on November 5th. Don't interrupt macho man. November 5th, the choice is clear. You want to have the don or want to see the crutches right there? Yeah, look at that down there.

[Noodles]

He's going out of docks.

[Steven Crowder]

Catching him, getting himself a cocaine dealer.

[Josh]

I could just toss anything at Stephen, and he will just run with it with an impression.

[Steven Crowder]

CEOs financially armed to the teeth.

[Noodles]

I'm doing a Brando thing, and they replaced me with Josh, who was doing a way better brand. That was. That was the best one yet. All right, I'm out of here.

[Gerald]

You talking to me?

[Josh]

Oh, and I gotta say this. I got the Nick Dip press secretary.

[Noodles]

He also was the first guy to go see the midget. Nick has no idea what he getting himself into. He just goes in there, they roll clips, and he rips. And that's amazing to watch. The view about the View, it's like a horse.

[Josh]

We just. We literally just find clips of people asking questions and then let Nick answer. And it's. It's so funny.

[Noodles]

Don Lemon have to walk around at a gay nightclub and assless chaps.

[Josh]

He does that. One take. The 20 questions, 20 answers, one take, and then he's out of there. And I'm like, dude, what a pro. I can't believe I didn't do this.

[Noodles]

Yeah, dead silence. Just what I thought.

[Josh]

There's not another place in the industry where you could just change your role or say, hey, I want to try mixing the show today, or I want to run audio. Or, you know, you get to contribute.

[Steven Crowder]

You get.

[Josh]

Get to be on cam. Imagine writing before a show. It was never really the goal for me to be a writer. It's a dream I didn't know I had come true.

[Gerald]

Three, two, and action.

[Noodles]

There are a lot of times, especially when it comes to advertisements, that we're finding we're shooting for a new sponsor or something the day before it's going to run. So we'll shoot it early in the afternoon, and we'll end up turning A spot for the next morning.

[Steven Crowder]

Not the Beast. Not the Beast.

[Josh]

Don't let the IRS take advantage of you when it comes to the sketches of the show.

[Steven Crowder]

I don't think people understand how much.

[Gerald]

Work goes into producing.

[Steven Crowder]

We'll get the Neil separately.

[Gerald]

I've learned a whole lot about what goes on behind the scenes over the last. Really call it three, three and a half years. Look at that. Look. Get it, get it. There's definitely hair there.

[Steven Crowder]

We can sell that.

[Gerald]

The lighting, the boom, the costumes, the makeup, you name it. And it's one of those things where you watch everybody sort of do their part. And when everyone does it right, it.

[Steven Crowder]

Comes together and it's an awesome thing.

[Noodles]

Everything from the keying, the compositing, the sound design, these are things that typically teams of people would take months and months to achieve. And we do it in record time with a skeleton crew. And it's because they're all rock stars.

[Steven Crowder]

Make way for the emperor. Make it classical.

[Gerald]

We're trying to do all of it. We're trying to be factually accurate, we're trying to be funny. And then you're trying to make sure that you're presenting information that people can use and to do all of the those things. And on top of that, record a.

[Josh]

Bunch of sketches absolutely round it.

[Gerald]

I don't want any foot fetish people getting my feet.

[Josh]

It's just everybody's so different, but mixes so well. It's a lot of fun. And, you know, we get to tease Gerald all the time. Trojan man. And what a thick skin that guy's got.

[Steven Crowder]

You know what?

[Noodles]

It's a great room. First of all, Steven can slip into any character at will, no matter what we're talking talking about.

[Steven Crowder]

I kind of. It's sort of touch and go with the Jews right now.

[Noodles]

And Gerald is smart as hell. There's always gonna be an adult in the room.

[Gerald]

Save the Jews.

[Noodles]

I can't figure him out. I take pride in being able to read people. I've known him for what, a couple years now? I have no idea. He'll get mad at me if I make a joke. He'll go, oh, like it's shocking. And then he'll hit a holocaust joke in there.

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gerald]

Thank you.

[Noodles]

Sorry you can't figure him out. Josh is a stand up. Josh is naturally funny and he can do characters and actions. Addie, I'm Colonel Slant and the guys that work the. I don't want to forget about the guys that work the soundboard and all that other Shasha.

[Josh]

Still not Not.

[Noodles]

Not nearly as gay, but also gay. Options are limited.

[Steven Crowder]

Noodles just jumped in there.

[Gerald]

I don't know.

[Steven Crowder]

I was in a rhythm.

[Josh]

Sorry.

[Noodles]

They were all like, guys, guys. And I think it makes for a good mix.

[Steven Crowder]

Like someone on an island who hasn't eaten in a while and your friend turns into a hot dog. Yes.

[Gerald]

Guys, do you have a white mic, please?

[Noodles]

Comedy's probably one of the most important things that the world is desperately in need of right now.

[Steven Crowder]

Okay. It's for the greater good.

[Gerald]

For me, the best part of working.

[Steven Crowder]

Here is the challenge. You know, doing all that we do in the time that we have it.

[Noodles]

I get to solve problems all day.

[Josh]

Jesse. I think I know why they got. Stuff keeps changing.

[Steven Crowder]

I do it with people that I adore.

[Josh]

I'm a Christian. More like a family here, which sounds so cheesy. It's the worst thing to say. But, yeah, I live with these people. They're my friends. Think that secretly people. People do like me. Although I am the only person on staff that Joe Lewis has bitten repeatedly.

[Steven Crowder]

I didn't even pet or look in.

[Josh]

Joe Louis direction when this happened. Scaredy.

[Noodles]

When I'm on stage, I love. It doesn't matter where. Whatever.

[Gerald]

This is just nothing but fun.

[Josh]

It's great doing something. I love doing something that matters. Well, now she's groping you out. My kids see something that they can do someday. Something that's actually realistic. Like, I never had that growing up. I never thought it was realistic to be an entertainer for a living, you know, that was crazy. I think that's important to see. To see your parents work hard and get what they want, rather than what I saw in my. In my father, which is work hard and get what you get. I don't think many people get that sort of opportunity.

[Steven Crowder]

I can't be.

[Josh]

I mean, you look at people that hate their jobs and they go out there and they're just making ends meet.

[Steven Crowder]

You know, I'm just blessed and lucky to.

[Josh]

To be doing what I'm doing.

[Noodles]

Cut.

[Josh]

Oh, what you going to do right now? We're going. Then we're going to. We're going to hang out. Yeah, hang out in the Sesame street set.

[Noodles]

Can I ask you a first some questions?

[Steven Crowder]

Mouth? Can you hear that? Billy George° I hate that nickname, by the way.

[Noodles]

Yeah, I think you've written that even.

[Steven Crowder]

You think it's too much, too dark for this show.

[Noodles]

Oh, no. I haven't even touched the tip of the iceberg.

[Steven Crowder]

I'm all for pushing boundaries. I mean, I wrote a. I Wrote.

[Noodles]

A sketch about six months back when my grandmother was shredded. So I mean it didn't err.

[Josh]

Can you do this? Can you interview me in front of Oscar the Grouch's house? That'd be fantastic.

[Noodles]

All right. Seven and a half inches. What?

[Josh]

So if I actually showed my daughter those sketches. She's 10 now. She wants me to do a sketch with her where she gets to hit me with glass bottles. So not gonna do that at all. Cause I could kick her ass. Dude, she's like this high.

[Noodles]

A weak ass to the can I say that it's like I did.

[Josh]

I mean I rack at least probably on a slow day.

[Steven Crowder]

A dozen HR violations.

[Gerald]

Which one?

[Steven Crowder]

Yeah, nice cleft lip. Trouble oozes day one.

[Josh]

What do you think that looks like?

[Noodles]

Looks like me going to the gun.

[Josh]

Score.

[Steven Crowder]

You the democratic victory here at Charles Path for a ten month presidency.

[Noodles]

No, he's a on wheels, Nick.

[Steven Crowder]

How long have you not had to use a man?

[Josh]

Legs.

[Noodles]

Told me you weren't gonna ask about that. You good? All right kids.

[Steven Crowder]

Anything else you want to add?

[Noodles]

I do. I'd like not to do the show anymore. Gerald's really bugging me. I hope it lasts, that's all. I need the cash. All right.

[Gerald]

It's just not.

[Steven Crowder]

So we are of course going to see you. I don't know what we are doing tomorrow, but I'll leave it. You know why? You know why they. You know what I'll say this, Joe, we do have a name for you when you're not around.

[Josh]

Well.

[Steven Crowder]

No, don't. Don't tell him no.

[Josh]

All right.

[Steven Crowder]

Would you believe it if when he's not around we call him the old red belly. See you tomorrow. That's what I know.