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Steven Crowder
Welcome to the lineup live here on Rumble. Each show rolls into the next. You don't need to change that dial if you have a dial. Well, it turns out we know why Satan was trending yesterday when I was live. Like, why is Satan trending? Why is demonic trending? Because sometimes things happen and I'm kind of in a silo here while I'm live as we are every weekday, 11am Eastern. Turns out that in Massachusetts it's very hard for me to say you can now kill your baby at any point with no restrictions and no justification necessary. Nine months. Yep. It's just a. Just a technicality of is it behind the birth canal enough? So yeah, I think it's appropriate that Satan and demonic was trending. And I'm going to present to you the radical, radical evil, fascist, patriarchal right view of abortion versus the actual, which by the way is implemented in no states versus the actual policy of the left. And I want you to tell me which is more radical. And I want to see if you can make the case that the DNC is anything other than evil. AOC is no longer engaged in today's installment of who could have seen that Coming? And it's closing time for Francesca Hong, who's a two faced because sometimes she's quite fetching and sometimes she's a Simpsons fish. On with the show. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I forgot. This Intro is from 2008. It's the first semi viral video I ever had that I green screened on a blue bed sheet in a bedroom with no technology in 2008.
Josh Fierstein
And very appropriate.
Steven Crowder
That's right. And I read from Planned Parenthood's actual website. As a used car salesman, this is the beginning of it all. Hey folks, come on down to Crazy Pete's Abortion Barn where we offer abortions at lowest prices guaranteed. People often ask me, Pete, why do they call you Crazy Pete? Well, that's because I offer abortions at prices so low. People think I'm crazy, I'm so sure. But that if you find abortion at a cheaper price in the greater Dallas Fort Worth area, heck, I'm just gonna give it to ya. Yee haw. Sanctity of life. All I care about is quality abortions at affordable prices. First trimester, second trimester, partial birth. Thanks to Obama, we're getting them all and we're passing the savings on to you. So what are you waiting for? Call Crazy Pete. That's me at 555-5455. That's Crazy Pete's Abortion Barn at 555-5455. Crazy Pizza portion bar. Killing babies and slashing prizes. Click Rumble Premium and join now for 99 annually or $9.99 a month to get the entirely ad free experience and an ever expanding roster of content creators and free speec. Strange animal. That's what I know.
Noodles
He just looks like Urkel. Oh, yeah.
Steven Crowder
Wisconsin governor candidate David Crowley issues official statement with. Did I do this?
Josh Fierstein
Kind of looks like Hannibal Burris.
Steven Crowder
He does a little bit. It's like a little bit of the two.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah.
Steven Crowder
Oh, it's a cross of the two Hannibal burkas. I'm really having an abortion now. All right. So that. It's funny, that thing. You can see how I had to turn a lamp because I had no lighting whatsoever. And that was, that was early on, you know, back before the. The shekel started coming in.
Noodles
That's true.
Steven Crowder
Grifter wasn't a term. All I was was attacked mercilessly on YouTube. There were no conservatives. Spaghetti Monster was the era of that. So let me ask of the day, would you take AOC on a date? And of course you wouldn't open the door. You'd probably go dutch. But would you. Would you give her like a peck at the end?
Noodles
No.
Josh Fierstein
Trick question. AOC takes you on a date.
Noodles
That's true.
Steven Crowder
On a date. And. And she does a little more than a peck. What AOC wants, AOC gets. Captain Morgan, CEO. How are you?
Noodles
I'm fantastic. How are you?
Steven Crowder
I'm all right.
Noodles
Yeah.
Steven Crowder
Yeah. Doing the Piers Morgan thing after this.
Noodles
And.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah.
Steven Crowder
Am I allowed to say that? Because I know they pre tape, you
Noodles
know that's gonna air when it airs.
Steven Crowder
Yeah. Which by the way. Oh, lay in the brain. Make sure we have that picture ready that we talked about. Super secret. Friday, September 25th at oh, average Joe's in Laredo, Texas. Added a date, Mr. Josh Firestein. But we have the Appleton, Wisconsin one up there, so.
Josh Fierstein
Thanks, guys. Hey, I'm doing comedy in multiple places.
Steven Crowder
Where's your website for people to see all the dates?
Josh Fierstein
Jfierstein.com you get all my dates? There's three of them.
Steven Crowder
Jfierstein.com whole three. All right, well, good. If you can do less, do less because, oh, gosh, I don't miss the days where you're doing the Wednesday show, Thursday show through two Friday shows and two Saturdays, and you're getting a beer bottle thrown at you.
Josh Fierstein
But I'm not a real stand up. I'm not a real stand up unless there's nobody in the audience.
Steven Crowder
And unless you hate your life.
Josh Fierstein
2:00am yeah, exactly right.
Steven Crowder
That's what they want you to tell folks out there so that they can feel better about themselves. What's the name? Ben Bankus. Ben. What's another Canadian guy?
Josh Fierstein
Ben Vegas. He's not like that.
Steven Crowder
That's what people do. They go like, you have an audience. So you don't deserve it.
Josh Fierstein
Oh yeah?
Steven Crowder
You know who doesn't deserve the platform? The ring of power, whatever nerdy term you want to use. The entire Democrat party. And yes, I understand that not all issues are black and white. I understand that there are some issues that are gray, nuance, whatever gay word you want to use. But I do have some closed handed issues. And then that hand closes far more. It becomes really a clutch, it becomes a clutched hand. When I see the practice openly of evil, of human sacrifice, which is what we're seeing as far as abortion law in Massachusetts. And I want you to see these women clapping, this being signed into law. And understand that it's not just one woman thinking this is a good idea. It's an entire room full of women celebrating the evil of human sacrifice. And they know it. And they know it. And I'm not going to shy away from that when this is what we're looking at. So I want to show you first a fetal chart. Okay, Here's a fetal chart, right? You got sick, you got 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 24 weeks, 36 weeks. Let me ask you, before I do anything here, let me ask you, where do you think it's appropriate on that chart? Where would you say safe, legal and rare. Bring it up. Safe, legal and rare. Yeah, bring up the chart. That's where the left says. Is that what you were picking? That's the law.
Josh Fierstein
I was gonna pick that slice of pizza on the left.
Steven Crowder
In many, many states, that's the law. So we've had this discussion for a very long time. Oh, where does life begin? They don't care. Bring it up again. You have the chart again without the arrow. Hey, where does life begin? Where does it begin? When it has its own central nervous system where it has a beating heart. They freaked out about the heartbeat, Bill. Okay? We've acted as though we're having this discussion. Is it a life? Is it separate from the mother? And bring up the arrow. This is the law as far as where the left will terminate life. And it's not just a small sector, it's not a radical fringe. It is every single member of the Democrat party with a national platform. There is not one who has answered any reasonable limitations on abortion. So Monday, Governor of Massachusetts Maura Healy signed this bill legalizing abortion at any time for effectively any reason during a pregnancy, including nine months. Here is their monumental victory for women's rights. That is a gaggle of evil women. How, how often at this wicked thing? That's what you get when you take the ring.
Guest/Interviewee
Abortion's on the ball. Abortion will remain accessible.
Steven Crowder
Now, let me give you the law. You can check the references. We make them available every show. So again, no limits on abortion. Entirely elective up until birth. They removed the previous cutoff that they had. So at one point the Democrat party was like, oh, let's have a reasonable cutoff of 24 weeks, which by the way, is significantly later than the earliest premature babies being born. Yeah, I hope people, I hope you understand that. So the viability discussion. So they had it at 24 and said, Nah, that's still too. That's still serving the patriarchy. I don't know, let's go. No limitations ever. And you'll see the left. Here's the other argument they'll make once they go, yeah, it's a life. But you know what, it's worth it, because late term abortions, meaning after 21 weeks, and I believe that's the earliest baby we've seen born on record. 21, 22 weeks. It's not common, but it happens. We have over 11,000, anywhere from 11 to 12,000 annually abortions of babies where there is no debate as to whether it's a life.
Noodles
Yeah.
Steven Crowder
And it's easy to look at Massachusetts and say, oh, okay, they're crazy. But the radical no limits abortion, Far more states than you realize. Remember that conversation. Oh, the heartbeat bill. So many people don't know they're pregnant because the heartbeat starts at eight weeks. How could you do this, you fascist? Okay, the states with zero limitations, meaning that very last picture you see on a chart, nine months, that's the law in Alaska, Colorado, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Vermont, Washington, D.C. if you wanted to count them as a state.
Noodles
I had no idea there was that many. And now Massachusetts, I had no idea. That's insane. As somebody who has three kids and one on the way right now, I cannot imagine. I think we're at roughly 25 weeks. Cannot imagine right now just being like, nah, nah. You know that thing that's kicking that I've put my hand on that I feel.
Steven Crowder
Yeah.
Noodles
That mom can get to like kick when we're talking and hears something. Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Just, just, just kill that, well, maybe that's what happened. Maybe there's someone's like, oh, feel the baby.
Steven Crowder
Oh, kill that thing. Oh my God, it's a two. It's too loud.
Josh Fierstein
Oh, it's violent in there. Who's the father?
Steven Crowder
This could. Let's take the most radical. Let's just start with this, okay? The most radical position on the right would be no abortions at all. Okay? The most common mainstream position that you see, even from Christian evangelists and as you, as you would witness, policy wise, heartbeat was something that was kind of agreed upon, but okay. No abortions outside, of course. Incest, rape, health of the mother. Okay? That's the most radical patriarchy. Hands off my body position from the right wing, my right, your left, the left is zero limitations whatsoever at any point, including and up until the moment of birth, which one is radical? Here's the other thing. It used to be safe, legal and rare. This fight against abortion oppression. It's self imposed by the left. They are the reason for the radical policy, by the way, you don't see in many countries at 24 weeks. And they said, nah, that's not enough. But we're supposed to believe that both platforms are the same. My previous cutoff, by the way, zero weeks. No, I have always been, just so you know, pro life. You said that was crazy. Always been pro life. You won't find any difference. Hold on.
Noodles
Actually, Stephen, that's not exactly accurate.
Steven Crowder
And don't get me started on these pro lifers.
Noodles
Oh, man.
Steven Crowder
Right. When abortion all of a sudden, right? They want to control a woman's body, they're pro life until all of a sudden, once the baby's born, they don't want to pay for public school, they don't want to pay for food stamps, they don't want to support the child, educate the child, child care, none of it.
Noodles
Where's.
Steven Crowder
But they're pro life, right? They're pro life until that baby exits the womb and then, oh, it's everyone for themselves.
Noodles
Yeah, fend for yourself, kid. Exactly.
Steven Crowder
Thanks, Billy Graham. Okay, we all change.
Josh Fierstein
Hey, how was lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings?
Steven Crowder
Gerald B. Dubs, he calls
Noodles
popped collars
Steven Crowder
on when we're talking about the Democratic Socialists of America, where they want to nationalize all of the largest corporations, businesses, means of distribution, and people on the right want lower corporate tax. Who's the radical? When the left allows 10 to 20 million illegal aliens in and want to provide them with not just our social services, but Coca Cola and Fanta and Mexican Coke on Snap, and we say you know what? You should be on SNAP or any of these programs for a very short period of time and have some proof that you are pursuing employment. Who's the radical party? And then I ask you when the position on abortion, the mainstream position for conservatives has been, okay, exceptions for rape, incest, saving the mother's life. By the way, I don't even agree with that, just to be clear, because I think it's too easy for someone to claim and not prove. And it's less than half of 1 percentage point. Some studies show it as low as 0.2%. But let's just say we'll grant you that. That's the position of the party, of the platform. No abortion, heartbeat or radical, extreme right. Exceptions for rape, incest, saving the mother's life, no others, as opposed to the Democrats who if they would have their way unfettered, you see, in their states, not one of them. This is not hyperbole. Not one will place any limitations on abortion or whatsoever. And they want it taxpayer funded here.
Noodles
How late in the third trimester could
Steven Crowder
a physician perform an abortion if he
Noodles
indicated it would impair the mental health of the.
Steven Crowder
Of the woman or physical health?
Noodles
Okay, okay. I'm talking about the mental health.
Guest/Interviewee
So I mean through the third trimester. The third trimester goes all the way up to 40 weeks. Are there any limits on abortion you would find appropriate?
Steven Crowder
I don't believe so, no. I believe that is between a woman and her physician. If an Arizona voter were to conclude from your previous answer that you do not favor any specific weak limit on abortion, would they be correct?
Guest/Interviewee
I support leaving the decision between a woman and her doctor and leaving politicians entirely out of it. Do you support any limitation on abortion or does it. Do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion all the way up to nine months?
Noodles
I believe an abortion is a medical decision, and I believe that that should be a choice made between a doctor and a woman and in consultation with her family.
Guest/Interviewee
My understanding is there wasn't a limit on when in pregnancy a woman could receive an abortion. Have you set any limit on that? There are no limits. Do you believe that a woman should be able to terminate a pregnancy up until the moment of birth?
Josh Fierstein
Look, I think that that happens very, very rarely, and I think this is being made into a political issue. But at the end of the day, I believe that the decision over abortion belongs to a woman and a physician.
Guest/Interviewee
Mr. Adams, do you think there should be any limitation on abortions?
Steven Crowder
No, I do not.
Noodles
My question was about any Limits to
Steven Crowder
abortion at any point, you know, late
Noodles
term, anything,
Josh Fierstein
you gotta leave it up to the woman. I can tell you exactly what would happen. The infant would be delivered, the infant would be kept comfortable, the infant would be resuscitated if that's what the mother and the family desired. And then a discussion would ensue between the physicians and the mother.
Steven Crowder
I can't tell you how many times if you go watch whether I change my mind or conversations where I've brought up Governor Ralph Northam and that quote, and people said, well, that's not real. See, that's just more. You're making it up fake news. And I've had moments where I've played it. They go, that and the Donald Trump, very fine people, both sides. Those are two of some of the biggest lies or most buried quotes or stories. I say, well, if there was a video of Donald Trump right before that saying, I'm not saying neo Nazis or white supremacists who should be condemned totally, if that existed. They go, well, I've never seen it. Here you go. And that's a pretty important litmus test because you figure out who is actually seeking truth versus someone who has no ears to hear, no eyes to see. That right there, that was the governor of Virginia. That was the policy. Also not far off from what Barack Obama supported in his tenure in Illinois. And so people try and make it seem like it's this dichotomy of right wing Christian extremists and the left in this country. We can even go outside of this country. We are not in line with the European, the gay European countries that the left always points to. 46 of 50 countries limit abortions after 15 weeks. We're one of the only places that does this. And by the way, we already had limits further than 15 weeks, meaning most of the remaining countries in Europe. And the left said, no, no, no, that's not enough. Why would you trust them with anything? They said safe, legal and rare abortions. The right has said it's terminating a life. The right is maintaining the same position. The left has radicalized themselves. In the absence of any new forms of opposition, they break through their own evil human sacrificial glass ceilings. 24 weeks, it's gotta be 34. It's gotta be for, it's gotta be whatever. I mean, here's the truth. The left doesn't want to argue this issue because there's no leg to stand on. The only consistent line, the only logical line through line here is fertilization. It's new DNA. That's a new life. Ending it is terminating a life. And then you'll get some people who say, you know what? I don't care. Okay, fine. Then let's have that discussion. But the discussion is no longer about where life begins. That's a lie. And with Roe v. Wade gone, that's not the discussion that people are having in their states. It's just, do we want to be sexually irresponsible, and do we want to turn this into a social justice issue or not? Are we okay, Sacrificing human beings at the altar of equity and justice, that's the real conversation. And I guess some states are still dueling it out.
Josh Fierstein
I'm getting out of here, Gerald, so see you later, alligator.
Steven Crowder
After a while.
Noodles
Crock. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What are you wearing? What is that?
Steven Crowder
Oh, this?
Josh Fierstein
Yeah, this is my dueling outfit.
Noodles
Who are you gonna duel?
Josh Fierstein
Oh, it's for my home loan. Yeah. Yeah, my finance company. You see, what they do is they have two. Two clients have a duel. The winner gets a 5% rate, the loser gets a 12% rate.
Noodles
Yeah, and shot, though.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah. And that.
Noodles
You don't have to do that, Josh.
Josh Fierstein
I'm not gonna forfeit. Not a putty.
Noodles
No, no, no, no, no, no. Dude, just call American Financing. They can potentially delay up to two months of your mortgage payment and save you maybe 800 bucks. American financing? You've been in, like, 12 of their ads. NMLS 182334. Ringing any bells, chief?
Josh Fierstein
What's their dueling policy?
Noodles
I don't even think they have one.
Josh Fierstein
Well, that's a big red flag. Every business should have a dueling policy. You know, which reminds me. What is our dueling policy?
Noodles
Anti. We are very anti dueling. Okay, I don't know about that.
Josh Fierstein
I'm gonna have to ask Steven.
Noodles
No, no. You do not bring Stephen into this.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah, I'm. Ask Stephen.
Noodles
No, no, no, no.
Josh Fierstein
Stephen, what's our dueling policy?
Steven Crowder
Pro. Very pro duel here,
Josh Fierstein
Gerald. Josh, I challenge you to a duel.
Noodles
Why?
Steven Crowder
What did I even do to you?
Josh Fierstein
1.
Noodles
Josh. Josh.
Josh Fierstein
2.
Steven Crowder
No, Josh, we're not dueling. Josh, we are not dueling.
Guest/Interviewee
Josh.
Noodles
Four.
Steven Crowder
Josh, we are not doing this.
Josh Fierstein
Five.
Steven Crowder
We're not doing.
Josh Fierstein
Call the pros at American financing today at 1-800-KNIGHTS OF 6500 or visit www.americanfinancing.net Crowder NMLS 182334. If you start today, you may even delay up to two mortgage payments.
Noodles
Anti. Dueling.
Steven Crowder
Still no. Well, I mean, obviously, there's a process to change the policies.
Josh Fierstein
Everyone who loses a duel is anti duel.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, of course. Yeah. It's called the big policy.
Josh Fierstein
It's called the pussy referendum.
Steven Crowder
Yeah. Lead poisoning. Any. Any. Any other thoughts on the abortion stuff? Aside from evil, Evil bitches gonna be evil bitches. And by the way, that doesn't mean all women. When I say evil bitches, I mean the ones who support this.
Noodles
Yes.
Steven Crowder
And women. You need to fix your own ranks. We can't do it, right? No vagina, no opinion. But then, like, well, unless you're a woman with a penis. So the point is. Yeah, hey, you said we can't, all right?
Noodles
It wasn't solemn. It wasn't like, I'm sorry, as a society that we have gotten to this point, but we like their opinion, but we still need this for women. It was applause.
Steven Crowder
Yeah.
Noodles
Like, this is a win.
Steven Crowder
Yep.
Noodles
And people have said this for years. They'll say, I wonder if we'll look back and think, what were we doing? And I think the answer is probably no. And that's a very sad thing because there are some evil people in this world. Ending a life is an evil thing to do. When most people that get abortions do it out of convenience. I'm too young. I don't want to have a baby yet. I didn't realize that this guy was going to get me pregnant. He's not the one. I still have a life to live. I want to travel, I want to do this. It's all these selfish reasons. And you literally are ending a life.
Steven Crowder
Talk about goalposts moving. Look, let me show you. Okay, Here are the goalposts. Safe, legal and rare. The conversation, then they go, well, wait a second, wait a second. Really? Those who are more likely to have a teen pregnancy are the least educated, Are minorities, are the blacks. Right? So they. So this is really racial justice, abortion. Now we have more access to information than ever, right? They say, well, wait a second. Contraception is too expensive and those who are disenfranchised can't afford it. It's free. Okay? So now it's free and everyone has access to information. It's 2026. You are not going to convince anybody, anybody who is rational that folks don't know how babies are made in 2026. Certainly not the majority of those having abortions conducted. And we've switched it to, yeah, now we should allow abortions always up to nine months. They never meant what they said. Can they not afford contraception? That's why it's okay. Well, now we've Made that free because you demanded that does that. Oh, no, that doesn't satisfy education. Well, now we have sex education as you've demanded, including teaching fisting to kids in schools. Remember Kevin? I believe it was Kevin Jennings or something. Jennings. Andrew Breitbart had that leaked tape. These people who were teaching sex ed in school. So, okay, you have the sex ed in school now you also have, hey, smart devices. And people have access to everything. And you've been pro pornography, so these people can access pornography so they know how babies are. Oh, no, no, no, no. That's not enough. Okay, well, at least you have the self imposed 24 weeks. Oh, no, that's. I guess you were an unknowing tool of the patriarchy. Let's just have abortions all the way up until and including birth. And here's going to be the last conversation. Can you at least pay for your own? Oh, no, we're straight back to poor black people. Can't afford it.
Josh Fierstein
Okay, well, you reap what you sow. The Bible says. Yeah, you know, when I get to heaven, my children will be whatever age I saw them at or, you know.
Guest/Interviewee
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Adults, when they get to heaven, well, they might not get in.
Steven Crowder
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
And there's gonna be a bunch of babies waiting for them.
Steven Crowder
They can atone and they can be forgiven. But they are going to meet those people one day.
Noodles
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
And they're gonna be babies still. You didn't want a baby, now you got four.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Forever.
Steven Crowder
There you go. It's like Daddy Daycare. The movie was terrible in heaven. I was trying to think of an analogy. Yes, Noodles, what were you saying? Oh, no, no, I didn't say. Oh, you just raise your hand.
Noodles
Yes. Hammer.
Steven Crowder
Maybe he raised his hammer. All right. And here's the other thing too. I didn't bring this up, but of course, you know that many women who have abortions, they regret it later on. They deal with complications and. And the mental health outcomes aren't great. The left will argue it, but they have no leg to stand on. This has been proven time and time again. You can go and just research that for yourself. But here's a big reason why. And it's the same reason that women are more miserable than ever. That's a fact. Women are taking more medications than ever. And women are, by their own satisfactory ratings, less happy than ever. Feminism has made women worse off. Why? The primary reason is that it demands the denial of biology. Which brings us to aoc. It's been confirmed that in a twist of events, sadly, AOC has split from her fiance, Percy Weasley, and that is going to. He was. Is a little hamora. Is that the disappear one?
Josh Fierstein
I don't know. I don't know. No, that's how you have to unlock a door.
Steven Crowder
Ah, There you go.
Noodles
Wow.
Steven Crowder
Well, nerd, I don't think that was happening anymore.
Josh Fierstein
When he can't unlock doors, he probably can't get it up anymore, so.
Steven Crowder
Well, that's where he's a Leviosa Avada Viagra. So, yeah. Hey, look sad. Who could have seen this coming? Except for everyone. But America's sweethearts are no more.
Guest/Interviewee
TMZ has confirmed that AOC and her fiance, Riley Roberts, have split. If you've noticed, she's been talking about freezing her eggs and has not mentioned Riley Roberts at all. And according to Puck, it turns out AOC and Roberts split about two years ago. Multiple sources on Capitol Hill tell TMZ it feels like forever since the couple has been spotted publicly together. That's definitely not a hyperbole. This photo was taken at the 2021 Met Gala, which was the last time the pair were photographed together. Then after this, about a year later, in May of 2022, AOC confirms that they were engaged.
Steven Crowder
Which, by the way, I just want to let you know. Freezing eggs, this is something, too. Freezing eggs where you don't have a spouse, for example. I understand. Let's say you are in a relationship, you're married, and you're going through some health complications. This is something. This is why freezing eggs is a practice, right? Really, you have a better chance later on, especially if they may be compromised. Freezing eggs when you don't know who the man is who's faceless in the future, how is that not objectification? He's just gonna be a fertilization vehicle. It's like a guy sticking his penis in a hole with an unknown suitor on the other side. Doesn't matter. I'm just gonna be. I'm gonna be fertilized. And whatever's on the other side, I'm gonna freeze my eggs. It doesn't matter. This man, eventually, once I decide to settle down, once I've done everything else, he's going to give me a baby. We don't need a plan together. That's what he will bring to the table. So how do we. How are we so clairvoyant? How do we know this wasn't going to work out? Well, that brings us. All right, let me ask you this first, because I will set my premise. Relationships where the women wear the Pants. They never work ever, ever, ever, ever. They either end or they live in misery.
Josh Fierstein
Not even for lesbians.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, exactly. Have you seen it go any other way? Comment below and then I'll get to some statistical realities. That's how we knew this wasn't going to work. This brings us to then, and this should be a cautionary tale for women who think they want a man like this. They want a relationship like this. She clearly wore the pants in the relationship in 2022. She said that the engagement ring, first off, was made from zero emission and recycled gold. Ho, boy, that's a bad start. Then there was this profile in New York magazine about AOC and her boyfriend. He's the perfect beta to AOC's alpha, tiptoeing through the public sphere, leaving little evidence of his presence. The social equivalent of a cyclist's carbon footprint. I hate so many things about that. I hate so many things about that. I hate the print. I hate the beta, I hate the. I hate the cycling.
Noodles
I know that pisses you off the most. I think.
Steven Crowder
I hate that it's New York magazine.
Josh Fierstein
I hate. Think that this is supposed to be complimentary to him too. Yes, but it. It's not. None of it. It's complimentary. If you ever compare me to a cyclist, we're going to fight.
Steven Crowder
Yeah. Let alone a cyclist carbon footprint. Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah, we're fighting.
Steven Crowder
Oh, my gosh. Absolutely and rightfully.
Noodles
You know what?
Steven Crowder
I would. I would just. I would take it. I would turtle and I would take it. I've been bad. I've been really bad. Mary Claire. Oh, I have to read this. Wrote, when the camera is on her, he steps out of the way.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah, because he's fat. They can't see her. He's got to move. I get it. I've been there.
Steven Crowder
A Democrat insider said the New York Post, that Roberts, her fiance, was, quote, an awkward guy as a partner for a dynamic woman. Boy, whenever he was around at events, he never spoke. No one thought she actually liked.
Noodles
So terrible.
Steven Crowder
Maybe that's not true. Right? Maybe he was just being quiet. Still, the dynamics of a shrinking violet man and a woman who's in charge. Right? Boss girl. It doesn't. And women don't want it. Women. We're not saying you need an abusive man. I'm not talking about belching and crushing beer cans on your head. Women want masculine men, and they certainly want to settle down with masculine. What? I mean, providers, protectors, leaders. They'll fight you. People like AOC will. The problem is they'll Fight that person every step of the way. And a true man right in understanding leadership is going to opt out of leading a woman like AOC who wants to be a boss babe. So it really is a prison of their own making. She's not going to respect a guy who steps away when she steps in. She's not going to respect the guy who's a beta to her alpha. But she can't actually get the kind of man, at least not at this point. She may settle later on because that man wouldn't have her. It's kind of like these girls on Onlyfans who try to claim that they're also traditional. You'll never get a traditional guy if you're showing your butthole on the Internet. He'll never pick you. It's gone. It's off the table.
Josh Fierstein
He wants that butthole to himself.
Steven Crowder
Yes, it's off the table. He also, when he proposed to her, she told gq, this one's funny. And I said, oh really? Well, you're gonna have to woo me. You're gonna have to convince me after all this time, why I should is the recyclable.
Josh Fierstein
That would be the breakup right there.
Noodles
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
After all this time, why I should. Oh, okay.
Steven Crowder
Yeah. Well then, oh, I thought you loved me.
Josh Fierstein
I thought the wooing part happened years ago to college together.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, okay.
Noodles
It's, it's part of the problem is all this time.
Steven Crowder
Yes.
Noodles
People that do this are like, yeah, we'll just figure it out. We'll just live together. We'll just do all these terrible way to do life.
Steven Crowder
Well, especially if you're planning on. There's some people like, what was it? Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, they're like, yeah, you know, we don't get married. There are some people generally don't get this, but people like this, like, she clearly wanted to get married.
Noodles
Exactly.
Steven Crowder
That's why he proposed and said, well, that's a control thing. She's trying to establish leverage. It's a dynamic where she wants. Well, you think, but maybe you have to chase me. I don't know.
Noodles
Like, what do you mean at this point?
Steven Crowder
She also said this of a lot of men, which just shows how dumb she is. She said a lot of men only quote, only believe that they want to be with an independent, successful woman. No, they don't. They don't care. I'm just telling you guys don't care. The kind of guy who you would want just like, okay, sure. Being self sustaining, like can feed yourself. Right? Like, you know how to get somewhere, you need to be, preferably in a car. Outside of that, pretty nice. Pretty and nice. Pretty nice. Supportive, agreeable. Someone who's easy for them to love. Someone who's easy for them to lay down their life for. It's never changed. We don't really care how smart you are. Yes, serviceably smart. We don't expect you to be the funniest woman in the world. We don't expect you to be a CEO. Yeah, they don't care. So she lied to herself, found herself in a web of lies with a man that she obviously couldn't respect. Didn't work out. Women don't make the same mistake. Because that brings us to now. Well, she's freezing her eggs for the next sucker. I mean, suitor.
Guest/Interviewee
All right, everyone. Deco and I, Day one of freezing my eggs, diving into the process.
Josh Fierstein
He's gonna fertilize the eggs. I'm a dog, mom.
Guest/Interviewee
Let's see all of this medicine here. Don't be weird about this, even though I know all of you will be.
Steven Crowder
Yes, we're weird.
Noodles
Just why you're doing it on camera.
Josh Fierstein
I'm so turned on by your flab.
Steven Crowder
Think about. Think about this. And she goes, how arrogant. She goes. She said about the egg freezing. She said, this is the choice that I am making to feel more in control of my life. Let me ask you, who do you think is in more control of their life? The lady who was the woman of his youth, who got married young and had children with her husband, stayed home to raise them and live the life that she wanted, making the compromises that were appropriate in that relationship for him to be the primary provider, you know, traditional dynamic, or AOC now well into her 30s, freezing her eggs for a TBD, fertilizing dick. In the future, who do you think has. Doesn't control involve some stability? What part of this seems stable?
Josh Fierstein
I think the. The person with control is the one that's on the. On the street with their eggs, going, hey, I got eggs. Who wants these eggs, right? I'll take anybody except most of you.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, I'll take the eggs. Well, not so fast. You're gonna have to woo me. Oh, I just thought you were a whore.
Noodles
This crazy lady with her eggs, she. Hopefully she finds this out sooner than later. But I feel like what's gonna happen is she's gonna realize at some point, like, this is just not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. And AOC would do very well to tell all of the other girls, like, listen, I have Traded Congress for what would have made me truly fulfilled and happy in life. I've literally traded being on camera, being berated by people cuz they don't like my positions. People talking bad. This is what she would say. They talk bad about me for decisions that I've made. They come up with stupid reasons why they hate me. You traded all of that for. You traded that instead of having kids, instead of having the thing that would be fulfilling. I don't know, like I don't know that I held this position five years ago or 10 years ago, but today I do. Women, stay out of this. This is not where you belong. I'm not saying you're not capable. I'm not saying that women can't do these things. Obviously we have some women that do these things and some women I think do them at a very high level. This is not where your fulfillment and life is going to be found. Why do we keep lying? The independent, successful. It's like, no, guys just said we don't want that. And you're like, you can't handle it. No, we don't want it. And guess why? One, we don't want that for ourselves, and two, we don't want it for you. I don't want it for my daughter. Do you think I want my daughter to be going? I think I want to run for President. I'm 36 years old, I just broke up with this guy or just announced the breakup and I'm going to freeze my eggs. Do you think my daughter is going to have a better life making that choice? Even if she became President of the United States with no kids, no husband, no family, never did that. Just traded it all for that. I would not tell her to do that ever, Even if it was guaranteed.
Steven Crowder
You know what? It's also feminism too is a gross misinterpretation of history. Labeling it all patriarchy. So they'll look at things, go, well, men have dominated these spaces. For example, they'll look at all these. I remember a woman complaining about monuments, saying, look at these monuments. X number are men. And then if you look at them, flags over Iwo Jima, right? You look at these, you go, okay, over half of them died in battle. Those are actually monuments to the fact that men are inherently expendable in society. They went to die because only men are expected to go and die. And you see it in every major war. The numbers are anywhere from 99. I think the lowest I've seen is 96% from World War I onward all the way Through Iraq, even though women are allowed in the military, the percentage of men who die and 94% in the workplace. So women look at that go. We have to correct it. Well, they're not getting monuments for dying brutally and violently to protect other women in their country. They're getting monuments cuz they put on a fucking pink ribbon. Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Remember that statue in New York City of the mildly fat black lady?
Noodles
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
For no reason.
Steven Crowder
Right?
Josh Fierstein
Yeah.
Steven Crowder
It's a monument telling you that men sign this agreement, they're willing to die, and society has said that men are expendable. That's a part of the agreement. Why? Because women reproduce and there's an incubation period. We understand that, but they take it and say we have to right all the wrongs. And then applying that mindset to a relationship. Well, why does the man have to get down? And why is she just supposed to say yes? Is he dictating it? Actually, that's a sign of the opposite. Did you know that. That the man getting down on his knee and proposing to you, you saying yes shows that there is some element of control that you have effectively wooed him. Because men do control access to relationships and they control it. They're very, very close to the vest with it. Women control access to sex. A man is willingly putting himself in a vulnerable position to say, okay, you. I forego everyone else who for you. And feminists interpret that as well. Why can't the women propose, okay, get down on one knee and pledge your life for me. Show me you will die for me.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah, tell me you're making me the happiest man in the world and that you'll do everything for me and you're going to provide for me and stand by my side. That's what you're going to do though.
Steven Crowder
Okay. Right. So if you apply it societally, it doesn't work. We've seen the breakdown. And then you apply it relationally. This is how this had to go. And very clearly also as predictable. She's posting obvious thirst trap content on her Instagram.
Guest/Interviewee
So I'm on my way to do my last strength training session.
Steven Crowder
And let's go. I get it now. Here's the thing too. Women can say they want to be masculine. Study after study shows women, women, when they look for quality, especially when you include the reproductive aspect, they want a man generally who is older than she is able to provide, has some kind of status, has more masculine features, even physically, is confident, is able to lead. These are qualities that women look for in men, that men don't typically look for in women when you look at the actual studies. You know, I think this was actually Cassie J. Who did the documentary Red Pill long time ago, which started a lot of this. And she was a liberal feminist, by the way, before she made that movie. They'll say that in society, women are sex objects. Okay, let's grant that men are success objects. So women go, well, I want the man to be wealthy, to be stable. The value he brings to the table is success. And men go, I want her to be hot and nice. So let's just accept both sides of the deal. The problem is when you only accept half of it, and then you lie to other young women to make them as miserable as you. She, deep down knows she wants a man. She doesn't want a beta to her alpha, to quote the article, but she's convinced herself, because it's part of the movement, she can't do that. No, no, it's better to have a. Better. Have a shrinking violence and young women. You should do that, too, because all of you can afford freezing your eggs and IVF in your 40s. That's how you take control of your life. All right, you guys let me know. Is this a surprise to anyone? And do you think there's a different root problem?
Josh Fierstein
Oh, maybe. They said that they broke up about two years ago. Inside sources. Maybe he voted for Trump.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, in that case, he wanted out, but he was afraid that she'd, you know, like, boil the pet rabbit.
Noodles
He wore a sticker. I voted Trump and came home and it was over.
Steven Crowder
He's like, oh, if I leave this broad, she's gonna. She's gonna kill me or something. So, you know, I'll just be. I'll just toss a MAGA hat on the kitchen table and see what happens.
Josh Fierstein
He's like, oh, really? You gotta close your legs. Well, I'm closing the border, bitch.
Steven Crowder
Yeah,
Noodles
have some of that.
Steven Crowder
Anyway, you know. And by the way, this is just. A lot of. This advice is horrible for young women, and a lot of advice out there is horrible on Instagram, period. Across the board. There's so much fake news, so much fake crap, not the least of which is the fitness influencers. That's why the only business that I've ever created outside of this show. Foundation. Foundation. It's a daily multivitamin supplement with clinically proven ingredients at their clinical doses. So you don't need to take a bunch of different bottles with you and then creatine. The most researched supplement of all time at the best price. The purest creatine available. Everything here is researched. No false promises. You can text foundation to 214936 to get 50% off or just go to foundationdaily.com and subscribe. The deal is available now through August 14th. And you can also go check out all the references like we do with every show, every ingredient, why it's in there, the research, the clinical data. We created a company we wanted to that I wished existed.
Noodles
It mean we just don't make claims randomly and say, well, everybody knows.
Steven Crowder
Oh, my gosh. You see it so much on Amazon, too. We're like, science proven. Make for backup data. You're like, oh, this is just Chinese AI.
Noodles
What is this? Ground up deer antler. Yeah. Like what?
Steven Crowder
Oh, no. Deer antler velvet. That was a big thing. Yeah. It does nothing. I was trying to make up the word. It does nothing. I had a guy who literally went from our Jiu Jitsu gym to Jiu Jitsu gym, grappling gym, to try and sell deer antler velvet sprouts. And his pitch was, no, no, no. All the research, when they've studied deer antler velvet, it does nothing. But that's because your stomach breaks it down. So spray it in your mouth where it tastes like ass, and it'll. It'll increase your growth hormone to a degree that would be insignificant. And people bought it. People bought it. So, yes. Deer antler velvet. Bull crap. And there's someone in the comments gonna go, I did it.
Noodles
No.
Steven Crowder
God.
Josh Fierstein
Super.
Noodles
I didn't.
Steven Crowder
Placebo's a thing. By the way, thank you for the raid, Dan. We very much appreciate it. And of course, we're gonna send everyone on to hail if you're not yet a member of Rumble Premium Socialism. Let me just give you a couple of things here because, Francesco Hong, we have a closing time and it's fun. Everyone has talked about how it's inevitable. Look, socialism is still a hard sell nationally. Not with Gen Z. Right. They sort of go back and forth. But overall, it is very unpopular. Not as unpopular as it once was. Also, the Democrat Party has no issue with rigging elections primaries. It is the least Democratic Party. Well, of the two, there's only two. Which ones?
Josh Fierstein
Yeah.
Steven Crowder
Which one is undemocratic? The Democrat. The Democrat Party. The one that didn't have a primary for the last election. The one that screwed Bernie Sanders out because they knew that he actually was probably going to win. So last night, I don't know which minority you root for. Black man, beat the shit out. Stop Asian hate. Beat the shit out of an Asian woman.
Noodles
Wow.
Steven Crowder
For the governorship and David Crowley beat Francesca Hong.
Guest/Interviewee
Milwaukee County Executive David Crowley has secured the Democratic nominee.
Steven Crowder
Is she Asian or Latina? I can't tell.
Josh Fierstein
She's in Dan.
Guest/Interviewee
Socialist Francesca Hong. Crowley was ahead of Hong by roughly 3,200 votes when the race was called. And because Hong has now conceded, there will be no recount.
Steven Crowder
Yes. By the way, she did concede. Hats off to her. Though some would say it's questionable as to how she handled her concession speech. Let's just let cooler tempers prevail.
Josh Fierstein
Whoa.
Steven Crowder
We'll get to the false.
Josh Fierstein
There wasn't even a white guy in the race.
Steven Crowder
We'll get to some of the. We'll get to some of the foul play going on in this election. And by the way, there are definitely some reasons. So the socialists who are like, we think this was a scam. I'll grant that to you. But first, Francesca, it's time to close.
Guest/Interviewee
I'm Francesca Hong, and I've got 30 seconds to tell you what I'll do as Wisconsin's next governor. David Crowley has secured the Democratic nomination for governor of Wisconsin over Democratic socialist Francesca Hong.
Josh Fierstein
Time to close. Endings and beginnings are ending and beginnings Now.
Guest/Interviewee
If you want to be tough on crime, you better be tough on causes.
Josh Fierstein
Rapid fire. Do you Support repealing Act 10?
Guest/Interviewee
Yes.
Josh Fierstein
Universal Child care.
Guest/Interviewee
Yes.
Noodles
Why do you believe that the police must still exist?
Guest/Interviewee
Still exist.
Josh Fierstein
Time to close. Endings and beginnings are ending and beginning Now.
Guest/Interviewee
Do you still believe that Thanksgiving should be canceled? I'm a chef.
Josh Fierstein
Thanksgiving gate does not factor into the equation.
Guest/Interviewee
I've cooked many great Thanksgiving dinners. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, because there you have it. Yep. I'm not a super fun person.
Josh Fierstein
Guaranteed pay leave.
Guest/Interviewee
Yes.
Josh Fierstein
Yes. Abolishing ice.
Guest/Interviewee
Yes. And we continue to incarcerate more black men at a rate that's higher than any other. Any other state in the country.
Josh Fierstein
Public grocery stores.
Guest/Interviewee
Yes.
Josh Fierstein
Right to repair.
Guest/Interviewee
Yes.
Josh Fierstein
Legalizing cannabis.
Guest/Interviewee
Yes. That I think that people can evolve. That I am a going to be a sensible and practical government. And governor, I did marry. My proximity to whiteness continues.
Steven Crowder
Right.
Guest/Interviewee
My son is biracial. He's half. Half white and half Korean.
Josh Fierstein
Overturning Citizens United.
Guest/Interviewee
Yes.
Josh Fierstein
A Workers Bill of rights.
Guest/Interviewee
Yes.
Josh Fierstein
A free Palestine.
Guest/Interviewee
Yes.
Josh Fierstein
I know that it's time for things to close. I know that it's time for things to close.
Guest/Interviewee
And this is why I'm proud to be a democratic socialist.
Steven Crowder
What?
Noodles
Nothing.
Steven Crowder
I guess I just love that term Democratic socialist. It's like, so really you're just, you're like, you're putting the first act in the name, but you know that that's not the second or third act.
Noodles
The second act is.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, it means that we voted in. Okay, but how do you enforce it?
Noodles
Guns.
Steven Crowder
Would you think people are gonna vote to enforce every time, vote to enforce it with guns and to take from their fellow citizens? Probably not. That's the thing. How do you enforce it? You enforce it through violence. But. Yeah, but we elect the people who enforce through violence democratically initially. Ah, okay. And what's funny is it's the least democratic political wing in the United States. So a lot of people saying that some foul play. Okay, I'll go through it and you can check the references. This wouldn't be the first time the Democrats have done this, by the way. So at 12am Central Milwaukee county, they announced 28,000 absentee ballots. They were going to be delayed due to a flash drive error. Which just sounds absurd coming out of my mouth when you're talking about an election. But this happened two things.
Guest/Interviewee
There's the audit log and the results. What we uncovered was that five of the sticks had the audit log downloaded and not the results. It's a human error. These things can happen. So basically what we need to do is go back to the operations center and we're going to download out of those five machines the results and make sure that it's not the audit log.
Noodles
I guess the exact thing. Yes. Is if five of the US Six were missing results from the election. So then they have to, they have to go try to regrab them.
Steven Crowder
We're doing this as like kind of a cut in thing. We're going to fit, we're going to tape here. They're going to insert into news now. So if you'd like, you can watch
Josh Fierstein
us put this together.
Steven Crowder
I do like. I do like and I do want to watch you put it together.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah, yeah. What are you doing rolling those papers up? Get to work, bud.
Steven Crowder
That is a man hanging on by very thin thread and I dig that about him. So she was down about 3,000 at that time. Then at 1:30am they had USP absentee votes coming in. And then Crowley netted an additional 1200. So again, it's kind of like the broken pipe, the pipe bursting. That wasn't a pipe bursting. There'd be no real way of knowing. But again, she was the runaway favorite to win the nomination. And I don't like her by a lot. A socialist fish. She was up like 22 depending on which data you used. And Kelshi had her odds at 95%.
Noodles
It was kind of like a foregone conclusion in so many people's minds.
Steven Crowder
Yes. Now, just as certainly she was absolutely viewed as a. A very weak candidate in the general. Why? Because socialism. An easy sell to people online, but a pretty tough sell to the American people, even in blue leaning states. So if you actually look. August 10th. What? They had Democrats at 44%. The odds of winning when they thought she was going to be the candidate. Now that she's not. 72%.
Noodles
Ugh.
Steven Crowder
So, like, here's the thing. Is it. I don't. I can't tell you that I have the answers. And I'll be honest. I'm not going to do the same digging that I did in the 2020 election. Because when Democrats screw Democrats, I don't care as much. I'm not going to lie to you. It's kind of funny, but I would wager there's some foul play. I can't prove it.
Josh Fierstein
Total.
Steven Crowder
I would wager there's some foul play.
Noodles
98% of the vote is in. That means 2%'s out. You're only down by 3,000 votes, and you concede, which means there's no recount. You can't challenge anything. Come on. It sounds like somebody got a phone call.
Steven Crowder
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I can't prove. I would suspect so. Because it's almost like we've seen Democrats do undemocratic things in the past. Right. We learned today from former Democratic National Committee chairwoman Donna Brazile that the Clinton campaign, in her view, did rig the presidential nominating process by entering into an agreement to control day to day operations at the dnc. The Clinton campaign controlling the party's staffing strategy, finances, communications. And that agreement was entered into in August 2015, a year before she defeated Senator Bernie Sanders. This must shock you.
Guest/Interviewee
This is a real problem.
Josh Fierstein
The anticipation was that if the president were to step aside, that there would be an open primary. And as I say, Kamala may have. I think she would have done well in that and been stronger going forward. But. But we don't know that that didn't happen. We live with what happened. And because the president endorsed Kamala Harris immediately, that really made it almost impossible to have a primary at that time.
Steven Crowder
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. That's French for I don't believe I
Noodles
want Nancy Pelosi to come to my restaurant.
Steven Crowder
That's right. I mean, in beach attire.
Noodles
I'd go, yeah, yeah, you would.
Josh Fierstein
I'd ask her some questions.
Steven Crowder
Well, Hong has already changed her name and moved on to her next gig.
Josh Fierstein
Oh, don't look at her. Do not look at her. She's gonna try to sell us pancakes, I'm telling you.
Guest/Interviewee
What are you looking for? I have the best pancakes. Come Judy's for breakfast. I'm Judy. I have cafe. Come for breakfast.
Josh Fierstein
She really wants us to believe her name's Judy now.
Steven Crowder
She's insane, but I support her. Yeah, do what?
Josh Fierstein
You know,
Steven Crowder
I don't really know. I don't think there's much more to add to that. Come on.
Noodles
I mean, come on. This really happens again in Wisconsin? In the Democrat Party, yeah. Like, it just seems. I'm not a conspiracy theorist.
Steven Crowder
Right.
Noodles
I generally lean away from that. But when you see a lot of things like this, kind of like, I understand why people might think that.
Steven Crowder
I get it. It's just pretty tough for these people to argue it when the most flagrant, obvious examples of election tampering.
Noodles
No.
Steven Crowder
Is the safest and fairest election of all time. It's like, all right. Ah, here's some flash drives just dumped in the middle of the night. And, you know, no way to check, by the way, these didn't work. I know was your district, but, oh, well. And they're like, I guess I have to take it.
Noodles
So I. I guess what I'm asking is when you guys downloaded the results, and you said it was like, the. The log.
Josh Fierstein
Audit log.
Noodles
The audit log, and not the results, but the audit log changed the numbers that you now have to go back and change. What is an audit log? What are results? Like? Is an audit log just telling you what people voted? Because that sounds a lot like results to me.
Steven Crowder
It does to me.
Noodles
Make any sense at all?
Steven Crowder
What is there to audit?
Noodles
There could be a vote. I'm just gonna leave room for that. But it just doesn't sound like I wouldn't go out there and say that. I would be like, hey, we didn't have the data. I wouldn't go out there and be like, yeah, we downloaded the wrong stuff. And apparently she got a lot of votes. We didn't like that. So we went back, and we got the results. And we'll have those for you in just about an hour.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, we download the wrong stuff. This drive is just season two of Westworld.
Noodles
I don't know whose laugh doesn't help
Steven Crowder
us in an election at all.
Josh Fierstein
It's just as my resume.
Noodles
We thought it was highly valuable.
Steven Crowder
Also, by the way, we're gonna fix the election. But can we talk about how awful season two of Westworld was? The first is the best season ever. Now they're in a samurai village.
Noodles
Who wins the primary? I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt your Westworld fantasy.
Steven Crowder
I thought, like, maybe it was an outlier.
Noodles
Okay, we're not gonna know where we.
Steven Crowder
Like a Halloween 3. So then I went to Westworld 3, and then the kid from Breaking Bad is in there, but they're in the city. It's no longer even Westworld.
Noodles
Pinkman.
Steven Crowder
Guys, Guys, we have to. What happened to Westworld?
Noodles
It fell apart.
Steven Crowder
By the way, Francesca lost. Oh.
Noodles
Oh, wait.
Steven Crowder
That was the announcement. That's about. It's about as relevant.
Noodles
So stupid. I don't understand.
Steven Crowder
So you guys let me know if you think it was foul play or also if you care. I mean, I care because I won.
Noodles
Election integrity. And honestly, she's an easier candid candidate
Steven Crowder
to be a much easier candidate. Yeah, but it is still kind of funny. It is kind of funny in a really bad way. Speaking of funny, you know, we just got in.
Noodles
We.
Steven Crowder
We're very current here.
Noodles
We are.
Steven Crowder
Well, except for the fact that I've been banned from Tick Tock for life. Oh.
Noodles
We kind of did that to ourselves.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, we did do it to ourselves, but there's, like, there. You know, we always get in on the, like, social trends, like the. The owling. Yeah, we did a lot of owling.
Josh Fierstein
Everyone knows that. Planking was that. We were planking for so long. Ice cream.
Steven Crowder
Ice bucket challenge.
Noodles
Yeah. Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Gerald started an Only fans.
Noodles
Yeah. Milk crate challenge. Climbing up.
Steven Crowder
Right. The Harlem Shake, which, you know, Gerald did it mostly by himself, which was
Josh Fierstein
sad, but the Kool Aid pickle jar.
Steven Crowder
Mm. I mean, I still have to take Metformin, but I will say there's a new one that's been going around. And so, of course, you know, we always. We take an interest. We wanted to show you that we got in on that action.
Noodles
All right. Yesterday, we asked all of our co
Steven Crowder
workers around the office what would they do if a starving orphan showed up at their door. And this is what they said. Honestly, that would be the opportunity of a lifetime. Really. Just anything I could do to help make their life a little bit better that day.
Guest/Interviewee
I'd probably call 911 and feed it, give them shelter, help them figure it out, give them some food.
Steven Crowder
It's very Christian of you.
Guest/Interviewee
Thank you. Feed him make sure they have food and water. Call the police, get them some help.
Josh Fierstein
Is it an Indian?
Guest/Interviewee
Probably just give it some food and water.
Noodles
Call the cops, Take it to church.
Guest/Interviewee
Take it to church. Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
We got to have some form of compassion. I'd make sure it wasn't hungry, thirsty. Just keep it safe until the authorities arrive, I guess. Give him a bagel.
Guest/Interviewee
I don't know.
Josh Fierstein
Probably call the police or a social worker or something.
Steven Crowder
Well, first thing I would do is make sure that they're actually. Actually an orphan, because you can make that mistake. Like with bear cubs. It's a fatal mistake. So make sure first off, that they're orphans, and if so, you know, then see if they have an aunt or an uncle again, because the legality is pretty important. And then if not, you know, feed them and hopefully give them a better life.
Noodles
But let's be.
Steven Crowder
The damage is done. I'd probably help him, try to get
Josh Fierstein
some food, try to get some water,
Steven Crowder
and then see if there's anywhere that he needs.
Noodles
Needs to be or needs to go.
Steven Crowder
I'd probably invite him inside and offer him some lunch.
Noodles
Shoot him in the face. That's why you bother me.
Steven Crowder
Oh, man.
Josh Fierstein
Gerald.
Steven Crowder
Gerald.
Josh Fierstein
Heartless.
Noodles
Yeah, sure.
Steven Crowder
That's.
Noodles
That's the story we're gonna go with.
Josh Fierstein
And. And wearing that shirt right now. Crazy.
Steven Crowder
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Absolutely crazy.
Steven Crowder
Yeah. Yeah. It's almost like he's wearing it in vain.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah. Like he's doing it blasphemously.
Steven Crowder
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Can't wear the Lord's name in vain.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, you can't wear that. I think Jesus would have helped orphans.
Noodles
I feel like we got different questions.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah. I didn't observe that.
Noodles
No wonder they were so. When I was like, well, what does this answer sound like? That's perfect, man. Yes, go with that. I was like, perfect one.
Steven Crowder
Well, it was perfect for you. Yeah, yeah, it's perfect for you.
Josh Fierstein
I mean, it's not what I would have done because I have a heart, but.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, no, exactly right. Exactly right. No, but, like, it's perfect for Gerald because he's a tin man. It tells us who he is.
Noodles
When I heard the question you guys got, immediately, I was like, son of a.
Josh Fierstein
What question did you get, Gerald?
Noodles
I should.
Josh Fierstein
So the same one.
Steven Crowder
Okay. I got the exact same question.
Noodles
We wouldn't do that.
Steven Crowder
We're very ethical here. Come on.
Josh Fierstein
Lying.
Steven Crowder
That would be deceit. That would be lying. That would be lying. Like saying Jesus is the answer for orphans. That I shoot in the face.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah.
Steven Crowder
That's not.
Josh Fierstein
What would Jesus do? Not shoot an orphan in the face.
Steven Crowder
That's pretty much. Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Maybe some other things, but definitely not that.
Steven Crowder
I mean, like, maybe if it was like a criminal. Hi, I'm Oliver.
Noodles
Bang.
Steven Crowder
Yeah.
Noodles
I don't even get to twist.
Steven Crowder
Yeah. You don't even give him it.
Josh Fierstein
Didn't even have guns back then.
Steven Crowder
No, he didn't have guns. He would time travel to shoot poor Oliver Twist. Just asking for some.
Noodles
Or. Or Annie. Either one. Little Orphan Annie.
Steven Crowder
Well, if it's the remake, you have a case.
Noodles
It's a hard. Bang. I don't want that song. Get out of here.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, Jay Z screwed it up for the rest of us.
Josh Fierstein
Bruce Wayne shows up on Gerald's doorstep.
Steven Crowder
Bang. Dad.
Josh Fierstein
No.
Noodles
Bad. I'm sorry. You're afraid of bad.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, he would be the one.
Josh Fierstein
Stop being a little pussy.
Steven Crowder
Yeah, go get in the well. Yeah, he'd be the one who throws him down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Throws him down with all the bats.
Noodles
I would put a locking cover on it. So would the thing.
Josh Fierstein
Poor kid had a fine relationship with Batman. Bats.
Steven Crowder
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Then comes probably.
Steven Crowder
He probably had no relationship with bats because bats are nocturnal and human beings are diurnal. That's a normal relationship into them.
Josh Fierstein
That's normal. That's what I'm saying. That's a good relationship. It's like, I don't understand them. I don't really go near them. I don't fear them necessarily.
Steven Crowder
But, oh, whoa.
Josh Fierstein
Now I'm trapped in a well, thanks to Gerald.
Steven Crowder
Yeah. And then you have to think of how messed up he has to be where for the rest of his life, every single thing he buys, he has to put his little bat theme touch on it.
Josh Fierstein
Everything.
Steven Crowder
Someone's like, hey, I got some new doilies. He's like, you gotta make it. You gotta make the doilies shaped like bats. Why? This is my thing. You don't need to worry about it.
Josh Fierstein
It's gotta have wings.
Steven Crowder
Dude got like a baseball cap with jagged edges. It's a bat cap. Like, I think you're taking this bat thing a little too far.
Josh Fierstein
Got little fangs on his water dispenser.
Noodles
Have you been in my cave?
Steven Crowder
His bed sheets just shaped like bat wings only. Can't cover my shoulder. I have to. It's pillow shaped like a wing. It's so uneven, but I have to do it.
Josh Fierstein
He's the weird kid in high school because he's answering everything and with doing. Sonar.
Steven Crowder
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
Is it sonar or is it. Yeah, I said it right. It's not radar. Radar Is different. Radar is objects. So our sound.
Steven Crowder
Which is funny, when people say gaydar, they use this mean, like I can just look at someone or hear and I have gay darts. Like, well, no, that's like. That's like gay vision. Or like.
Josh Fierstein
Yeah, that's gay sight. You gotta feel it.
Steven Crowder
Yeah.
Josh Fierstein
In your butthole. That's gaydar. Gaydar is when they bounce off gay people.
Steven Crowder
Yes, exactly.
Noodles
Right?
Josh Fierstein
Yeah, yeah.
Noodles
Like you throw out, like, I'm not answering questions again.
Steven Crowder
Like a Wham's greatest hits. And whoever it bounces off of, you're like, he's the gay.
Josh Fierstein
Last Christmas I kiss my boyfriend.
Noodles
Yeah.
Steven Crowder
I bounced off that gay guy's head.
Noodles
I just want you to know, person that recorded me and asked me that question, I will remember this. Oh, yes.
Steven Crowder
The good news is that Gerald doesn't actually remember most things. He's like. His memory's just. It's kind of hit or miss.
Josh Fierstein
The worst part about that, the person who recorded it, he doesn't want to say on.
Noodles
On.
Josh Fierstein
On air because it's an orphan.
Steven Crowder
That's true. Also, Gerald lives a second life as a robber. All right, speaking of robbers as we go, if you are not yet a member of Rumble Premium, Rumble Premium is Mud Club. Mud Club is Rumble Premium. You can click that button so it keeps the lights on. You can join for $99 a year. This wonderful hand etched mug can be yours. Once they're out, they're out. Or just, hey, try for $9 a month. 100% more show, you get the Friday show. Oh, and by the way, I think we're going to be doing a live stream of the Candace and Andrew Wilson debate on Friday because that looks like it's going to be happening and we'll be live fact checking it, assuming that it actually takes place. So we're gonna go take your chip. But first, see if you can spot who escapes the situation, why and how. He's different.
Episode: Socialist Goes Down: Was Francesca Hong's Election Rigged?
Date: August 12, 2026
Host: Steven Crowder
Guests/Co-hosts: Noodles, Josh Fierstein, others
This episode of "Louder with Crowder," hosted by Steven Crowder and crew, is a blend of conservative political commentary, satire, and panel-style banter. The main themes addressed are recent radical abortion legislation in the US (notably Massachusetts), a critique of progressive positions on social and gender issues, analysis of electoral process integrity focusing on the upset primary loss of Wisconsin Democratic Socialist Francesca Hong, and discussions on relationships and gender dynamics featuring Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC). The signature tone is brash, darkly humorous, and often intentionally provocative.
[00:00 – 06:57]
Quote:
“I do have some closed handed issues. And then that hand closes far more... when I see the practice openly of evil, of human sacrifice, which is what we're seeing as far as abortion law in Massachusetts.”
— Steven Crowder [05:29]
[06:57 – 16:13]
Quote:
“The only consistent line... is fertilization. It’s new DNA. That’s a new life. Ending it is terminating a life.”
— Steven Crowder [16:13]
[25:11 – 38:16]
Quote:
“Women want masculine men, and they certainly want to settle down with masculine... providers, protectors, leaders. They’ll fight you. People like AOC will. The problem is they’ll fight that person every step of the way. And a true man... is going to opt out of leading a woman like AOC who wants to be a boss babe.”
— Steven Crowder [29:17]
[35:35 – 40:00]
[42:16 – 53:30]
Quote:
“When Democrats screw Democrats, I don’t care as much. I’m not going to lie to you. It’s kind of funny, but I would wager there’s some foul play. I can’t prove it.”
— Steven Crowder [49:56]
[55:24 – 58:28]
[58:28 – End]
Even as the tone is intentionally provocative and satirical, the episode provides insight into the worldview and rhetorical strategies of contemporary online conservative media. The mix of political analysis, personal attacks, and cultural observations offers a window into the narratives driving segments of right-of-center discourse in 2026, particularly around abortion, gender, and party politics.
Note:
This summary skips over non-content sections (ads, promotions) and focuses on major themes, quotable lines, and panel debate. Explicit and deprecating language is faithfully noted as part of the source’s tone.