B (16:09)
Once upon a time there was a boy from Nebraska and he took care of the cows on his father's farm. Now you think about Nebraska as corn and husking corn, but there's lots of cows out there. And this boy, he liked the cows. He felt good and right with the cows. He liked taking the udder of a cow and holding it just right and gently squeezing the teat to milk the cow in a sensitive way. He didn't want to do anything crude or disrespectful to the cow. And one day, early in the morning, he was handling the udder of a certain cow. And this cow starts thinking, this guy is all right. This feels Good, I like it, I like what he's doing. And so the cow suddenly decides, I'm going to talk to this guy. I know I'm not supposed to, but I've just gotta thank him and let him know that I really appreciate this. Now every time the boy finished milking a cow, he always took the time to face the animal and look in its big brown eyes. Sort of a gesture of connection. And when he did it, this time with this particular cow, the cow opens its mouth and says, hey man, thanks for treating me right. Feels good. Feels real good that you're treating me right. And the boy, really almost a young man, he's 15 years old, he says, no problem, my pleasure. And then the cow says, hey O, what are you up to later? What do you got going on? And the boy says, I don't know, I've got a lot of chores, but when I'm done, I was hoping to just chill and maybe play some video games. And the cow says, call of Duty. And the boy says, yeah, yeah, how'd you know that you play video games? And the cow says, no, no, no, we don't get a chance to do that, that. But I, I don't know, nobody really ever asked me to play and. And the boy said, well, come over to the crib, play with me. And the cow did come over and did play with him. The crib was just a bedroom in his parents house, but you know, it was cool, it was cool. They drank Mountain Dew, smoked a little weed, played video games. Then later they were just hanging out, shooting the ship. The cow was telling him a joke about chewing grass and then he told another one about chewing. He had a lot of jokes connected to chewing grass actually. And at some point the kid said, hey, what do you think about the whole Palestinian thing, you know, with Israel? And the cow says, well, I don't, I, I don't really know. I don't really consider myself informed to comment on that issue. And the boy says, well, how can you not, how can you not have an opinion? Do you have some trouble with Jews, is that it? And the cow says, no, I don't have any trouble with Jews. There are some cows around me that are Jewish. I have no problem with it. I mean, to each his own, but I, I suppose, yes, I find the ongoing Israeli appropriation of Palestinian land rather disturbing. And the boy says, you're not even going to mention the enormity of the Holocaust? And the cow says, well, of course, that was really terrible, but there's also the plight of some 2 million Palestinians in Gaza. Well, they went on like this for a long time. And when the kid's mom called him down to dinner and he brought the cow, it was a little awkward because nobody, you know, he didn't say he was having anybody over for dinner and that cow here's his cow and all. And it, well, it was just quiet. It was just a very quiet meal. And it did not help that they were eating cheeseburgers that night, which was obviously a source of embarrassment for the boy to be a good guest. The cow ate some of the burger, but you could see the cow wasn't very happy with it. And when the cow took an enormous crap on the dining room floor floor, it was just an uncomfortable moment. Later, as a kid quietly walked the cow back to the cow shed, he wondered, ah, maybe. Maybe I shouldn't have brought up all this political stuff. It really gets in the way. I hope I haven't jeopardized my friendship with this cow.
