Most relationship mistakes do not begin with one dramatic betrayal or blowout fight. More often, they begin with unhealthy relationship habits like defensiveness, blame, criticism, neglect, and communication problems in relationships that slowly create emotional disconnection over time. If your relationship has been feeling harder than it used to, this episode will help you understand why.

In this Love, Happiness and Success classic, I’m revisiting one of my favorite conversations about the subtle patterns that can quietly damage even a good relationship. As a marriage counselor, I’ve seen how easy it is to focus on what your partner is doing wrong while missing the ways you may also be contributing to resentment, distance, and disconnection.

We’re talking about some of the most common relationship mistakes, including making the relationship too much about yourself, blaming your issues instead of taking responsibility for them, neglecting your partner, criticizing instead of communicating clearly, bottling up feelings, and expecting problems to get better without direct effort. We also get into why blame, defensiveness, and mind-reading are so destructive, and what helps instead: empathy, accountability, honest communication, and the willingness to address problems while they are still small.

This episode is a reminder that strong relationships are built with intention. When you can recognize the unhealthy relationship habits that are getting in the way, it becomes much easier to create more trust, more warmth, and more connection.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 The Relationship Mistakes That Cause Real Damage

04:25 Unhealthy Relationship Habits That Push Partners Apart

10:03 Communication Problems in Relationships: Blame, Defensiveness, and Criticism

20:26 Emotional Disconnection: When Couples Stop Really Talking

30:08 How to Fix Relationship Problems Before They Get Worse

42:03 Final Takeaways on Healthy Relationship Skills

If you’re recognizing some of these patterns in your own relationship, and you’re ready for things to feel different, I’d love to connect with you.

You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure space where you can tell us what’s really been happening in your relationship, what’s feeling hard, and what you wish felt different. We’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more understood, more connected, and more confident in your ability to create healthy, secure love.

You do not have to keep trying to figure this out on your own. 💗

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

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Are You Making Major Relationship Mistakes Without Realizing It? | LHS Classic