Love Your Life Show with Susie Pettit

Episode: 3 Gifts for Your Loved Ones They’ll Remember Far Beyond the New Year
Date: December 17, 2025
Host: Susie Pettit

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and practical episode, Susie Pettit shares three life-changing gifts that transcend material presents and can transform the lives and relationships of busy moms and their loved ones. Drawing from her years as a certified life, relationship, and parenting coach, Susie outlines thoughtful, actionable ways to deeply connect with family, especially amid the chaos of parenting anxious teens, transitioning to an empty nest, or recovering from challenging emotional backgrounds. These gifts—mindset, words, and actions—are designed to have an enduring positive impact, far outweighing any store-bought item or fleeting holiday trend.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Gift One: The Mindset Shift – Looking for the Good

(Starts at 02:13)

• Premise: Give your loved ones the gift of your mindset by purposefully seeking out what they do right, not just what needs fixing.

  • Susie explains how human brains, especially as parents, are wired to spot the negative for corrective purposes, but after age five, this constant correction can harm children’s self-esteem and increase anxiety.
  • She urges listeners to break the cycle of looking for problems and instead intentionally look for positives in their loved ones.
  • Quote:
    "Since we all have things we are doing well and we all have things we could be doing better...the gift here...is your mindset, your choice inside your head to look for what’s right instead of wrong." (11:10)

• Actionable Advice:

  • At the end of each day, write down one thing each child is doing well and one thing you appreciate about your partner.
  • This simple habit gradually retrains the brain to seek and celebrate the good.

• Relationship Cycle Explored:

  • Susie introduces the relationship model: "Attract, Annoy, Accept."
    • We fall in love with differences, later get annoyed by them, and, ideally, move to acceptance, where "real love lives." (09:41)

2. Gift Two: The Power of Words – Speaking Kindness Aloud

(Starts at 15:30)

• Premise: The words parents say to their children become their inner voice. Susie advocates for consciously replacing habitual criticism or "helpful reminders" with positive, affirming statements.

  • Quote:
    "Our words matter more than we can imagine as parents. The things we say to our kids become their inner voice." (16:02)

  • Negative labels and repeated corrections (e.g., "You’re always late," "You’re so messy") can weigh children down, shaping self-doubt and insecurity. The opposite also holds: positive words nurture confidence.

• Practical Tools:

  • Try the Gottmans’ "5 to 1" ratio: for every nag or reminder, say five uplifting things. (19:30)

  • If that feels overwhelming, start with one positive thing per kid or per partner per day.

  • Susie addresses the inner skeptic: even if it feels awkward or insufficient, small shifts accumulate and make a lasting difference.

  • Quote:
    "Maybe don’t focus on what you’re saying negative. Let yourself still say all the nagging and the negative and all that. For now…could you intentionally say one nice thing aloud to the people...today?" (20:18)

  • Susie encourages partners to notice and express appreciation for any positive trait, no matter how small or specific.

3. Gift Three: Presence and Touch – Showing Love through Actions

(Starts at 24:18)

• Premise: Move beyond mindset and words. Give the gift of your physical presence, touch, and engaged attention.

  • Make your presence a present in the small, everyday moments.

  • Eye contact, undistracted listening, hugs, gentle touches or scheduling time for one-on-one connection—all of these send a message louder than any gift box.

  • Quote:
    "This gift also can be more intentional, like planning and doing something with the people you love...when we put our phone down and do something with our body, this is what we remember." (29:41)

• Novelty and Memory:

  • Susie explains the "novelty effect"—new, shared experiences are remembered vibrantly by the brain.
  • She suggests simple ways to break routine: taking a book to a new location, changing up a Saturday with a bike ride or a spontaneous coffee shop trip, or one-on-one moments with children.
  • Anecdote: Susie recalls a grocery store trip with her son, where they discovered a new spice—years later, it’s still a special memory and a story of connection. (33:30)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Parental Correction:
  "After [kids] reach age 9 and 10, our words and 'lessons' can diminish their self-esteem, can make them actually more anxious. None of which we want, right? Those are our kids." (05:55)

• On Partners and Accepting Differences:
  "At first we fall in love with their differences... then over time those things start to annoy us. What once felt adventurous now feels chaotic...this is a normal cycle in relationship...once we know it, there's another stage beyond that, and it's where the real love lives. It's the stage of acceptance." (09:41)

• On Habit of Appreciation:
  "At the end of every day, I would write down one thing each of my kids was doing well and one thing that I love about my partner. That's it. That is how it starts." (13:18)

• On Positive Labeling:
  "If we can make those [negative opinions] true, well, then the opposite is also true. We can say things to our kids like, 'You make good decisions. I can tell you worked hard on that.'" (17:10)

• On the Impact of Touch and Quality Time:
  "Gifts for me and for them, nothing super fancy. Often, it was a breakfast out at a coffee store...sometimes it was intentionally leaving other siblings behind and running errands together. That dedicated time when I'm saying to my kid, 'You matter.'" (32:10)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:13 | Introduction of the "Three Gifts" and focus on mindset | | 05:55 | The diminishing effect of correction on kids older than age five | | 09:41 | "Attract, Annoy, Accept" in relationships | | 11:10 | The Mindset Gift: Look for the good; daily writing practice | | 15:30 | Gift Two: Power of words, words become inner voice | | 19:30 | Gottmans’ 5:1 positive-to-negative comment ratio in relationships | | 24:18 | Gift Three: Gift of your presence/actions; making moments matter | | 29:41 | The "novelty effect" and creating memorable moments | | 32:10 | Anecdotes on one-on-one time and quality connection with children | | 36:52 | Summary and encouragement to start today |

Takeaways and Call to Action

Susie closes by reminding listeners not to underestimate the significance of these gifts:

• Start today—these gifts don’t require a holiday or special occasion.
• Try one or all three:
  • Gift your mindset—look for the good and note it daily.
  • Gift your words—speak intentional, positive affirmations.
  • Gift your actions—show up physically, schedule one-on-one time, incorporate small, memorable gestures.
• Listener Challenge:
  "Could you do one or all three? These are gifts that you and your loved ones will remember far after the wrapping paper is picked up." (36:52)

Susie encourages feedback and connection through her newsletter, reinforcing her signature warmth and commitment to helping busy moms grow and build relationships that last.

For more:

• smbwell.com
• Instagram: @smb.wellness
• Join the newsletter for personal responses and more actionable advice

Summary created for listeners who want the wisdom and warmth of the episode in a concise digest, ready to inspire positive action in family and relationships.