Are You Blocking Your Dreams Without Realizing It?

Summary

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Podcast Summary:

Love Your Life Show #340 - Are You Blocking Your Dreams Without Realizing It?
Host: Susie Pettit
Date: February 5, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this motivating and practical episode, Susie Pettit explores the everyday mindset patterns that unknowingly sabotage our dreams. Speaking directly to busy moms and women seeking self-growth, Susie outlines how each thought either argues for or against our goals — and how this simple awareness can reshape the trajectory of a year, or even a life. Using relatable examples and actionable strategies, Susie teaches listeners to catch “dream-stealing” thoughts, flip their narratives, and become warriors for their own dreams.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Everyday Thoughts

• Main Idea: Every moment, we have the opportunity to support ourselves through our thoughts. Our internal narrative shapes our emotions and actions.
  • “How every single moment of every single day, we have an opportunity to support ourselves and realign with how we want to feel and what we want to do in our lives.” (00:30)
• Takeaway: Noticing and gently shifting our thoughts is foundational to loving our lives and achieving our goals.

2. Are You Arguing For or Against Your Dreams?

• Concept: At any moment, you’re building a case for why your dreams are possible — or why they aren’t.
  • “With every thought, you are either arguing for your dreams or arguing against them.” (02:15)
• Practice: Become mindful of this inner dialogue to shift from self-sabotage to self-empowerment.

3. Stories & Real-life Examples

• The Running Mom & the Stroller:
  • Susie shares a story about a friend who doubted she could run with her pram, followed by another mother making it happen with an imperfect stroller.
    • “She was not looking for excuses as to why she couldn’t exercise. She was looking for reasons as to why she could.” (04:04)
  • Lesson: We often seek evidence to support our doubts rather than possibilities.
• Susie’s Own Excuses:
  • She recognizes her own “dream-stealing” thoughts about tricky business tasks (like Facebook ads), illustrating the universality of this mindset trap. (05:43)
• Client Example – Health Goals:
  • Someone trying to lose weight either argues for their goal (“What else can I do?”) or against it (“I’m too old; this never works for me.”). (07:14-08:14)
• Susie’s Son & The Summer Job:
  • After missing early job opportunities, Susie’s son is told by others it’s too late. He rejects their narrative, seeks possibility, and lands a job anyway.
    • “He literally sat there eating all my eggs, telling me how those people were wrong… He made close to 800 bucks over break because he found a way to make it happen.” (10:30–11:43)

4. How To Catch & Flip Dream-Stealing Thoughts

• Paying Attention:
  • Notice “why not me?” thoughts, familiar excuses, or discouraging self-talk — these are "dream stealers." (06:58)
• Key Question:
  • “Are you building a case for your dreams, or are you letting fear and doubt run the show?” (08:18)
• Evidence is Everywhere:
  • You can always find support for both negative and positive stories. Choose to gather evidence that supports your dreams. (09:00)
• Susie’s “Forethought Turnaround:”
  • Four prompts to shift your thinking:
    1. Is this thought true?
    2. Is it kind?
    3. Who would I be or what would I think without this thought?
    4. What’s something else I could think?
       (15:45–16:20; see show notes for a deep-dive episode)

5. Small Shifts, Big Impact

• Real-time Self-Coaching:
  • Susie describes a recent moment where catching her negative thoughts about her busy schedule allowed her to quickly reframe and take positive action instead of spiraling. (12:57–14:00)
  • “Whichever you argue for will win. I promise you that.” (14:47)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On self-encouragement:
  • “The most important thing you can do this year is to be nice to yourself, to think thoughts of encouragement. Fundamentally and foundationally, that is the truth.” (01:25)
• On making choices:
  • “We can find evidence to support either reality.” (09:00)
• On personal power:
  • “You have so much more power than you realize. The thoughts in our head become our realities when we think them.” (16:19)
• On accountability:
  • “Are you fighting for the life you want to be living or against it? So exciting.” (16:39)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:23 – Introduction and episode purpose
• 02:15 – The central concept: arguing for vs. against your dreams
• 03:45 – 05:04 – Stroller/running mom story and the power of evidence
• 07:14 – 08:14 – Health goal self-talk examples
• 10:30 – 11:43 – Susie’s son and the job hunt mindset
• 12:57 – 14:00 – Susie’s personal self-coaching moment
• 15:45 – 16:20 – The “forethought turnaround” tool
• 16:19 – 16:39 – Final empowerment and call to action

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Actionable Takeaways

• Catch your “dream-stealing” thoughts: Notice moments when your brain doubts or discourages your dreams.
• Flip the narrative: Use the four-turnaround questions to reframe self-talk quickly.
• Remember: The evidence you seek is the evidence you’ll find—choose to build a case for your dreams.
• Apply it now: This week, be on the lookout for these silent blockers, both in yourself and (quietly!) in others.
• Share the wisdom: If this episode resonates, share it with a friend to help spread positivity and self-empowerment.

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Susie’s closing encouragement:
“I massively appreciate you. Let’s go, warrior.” (17:29)

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Transcript

[Sam]

Foreign.

[Podcast Announcer]

Hi. This is the Love youe Life show with Susie Pettit, certified life and wellness coach. Join Susie as she helps you with your wellness and mindset so you can live a life you love. Let's go, warriors.

[Susie Pettit]

Hello, warriors, and welcome to episode 340 of the Love youe Life Show. I'm your host, Susie Pettit, your certified life coach and biggest fan. I come on here every week to help you create a life you love. And today's episode is a simple yet powerful episode. I want to do a quick episode here now that we're into the second month of a new year, reminding you of this simple thing, how every single moment of every single day, we have an opportunity to support ourselves and realign with how we want to feel and what we want to do in our lives. It really can be this simple. Our thoughts determine how we feel and the actions we take in our day. And every single moment of every single day, we have an opportunity to bring attention to how we're thinking, to see if we're thinking thoughts of encouragement or discouragement. I was not kidding when I said back in the last solo episode. I think it was episode 338.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

That the most important thing you can do this year, the most important thing you can do this year is to be nice to yourself, to think thoughts of encouragement fundamentally and foundationally. That is the truth. And in this episode, I want to bring attention to something that we do multiple times a day, over and over in our head that will either lead you to feel the way you want to feel and take the actions you want to take and feel great about yourself, or lead you away from that feeling and away from taking the action steps that are part of you living your happiest life. And we all know how that feels. We're diving into a concept that when you notice it and notice it in the way that I teach about in this episode, it can completely change the trajectory of your year and your life. Forget that it will. I just said it could change. Change it. It does. I see it every single day in the clients I teach, and I see it in my own head. And what is this magical thing that you want me to become aware of, Susie? It is this. That every day, with every thought, you are either arguing for your dreams or arguing against them. You are either building a case for why your dreams are possible or giving yourself all the reasons they can't work. I know this and I teach this. This is the backbone of, you know, how our brains work and brain science and what I do as a mindfulness based cognitive coach.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

I teach it every day in the Love youe Life school. But I was recently reminded of it with a couple of incidents that I witnessed. Witnessed. And I was like, oh, okay. Want to bring this to them? Because you know how, like, you see someone else doing something and you're like, oh, my gosh, look, they're doing that.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

It's easier to see what they're doing than what you're doing. Yeah. That happened to me. It happens to all of us. It's helpful to notice this first one was I was one of my son's friends had recently had a baby and they were out on a walk with us. So we're all together. And the mom asked. She's pushing her baby in this stroller. They call it a pram here in Australia. And she asked if she thought I'd. If I thought she'd be able to run with this particular pram or stroller. And I said, for sure? Yes, like, absolutely.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

I. I know this woman. She's wanted to run for years. Her child is more than six months old. She doesn't run regularly. Her pram was not a model made specifically for running. So, like, before, all you running experts are like, I just want to say, like, this pram was definitely good enough. It was super fancy. It was smooth. At the time she asked, I was actually pushing the pram.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

And so I took a couple job steps. I'm like, absolutely. And if she went out to run know, with this thing, would it work? A hundred percent.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

So I said that. And yet the couple, it was interesting, they like, hemmed and hawed and, and pushed back and told me all the reasons why they thought it wouldn't work, et cetera. And I was just like, fine. I wasn't there to convince them that. That he needed to run or whatever.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

So I was just this sort of like, blip, like three minutes in a moment of my day.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

The very next day, I was sitting and overlooking the bike path, a different bike path, and saw a different mom pushing the equivalent of like what we in America call umbrella strollers. Like basically like a 1980s stroller on the path. And she was making it work. She was running with this, like, cumbersome, awkward stroller. And yet she was not looking for excuses as to why she couldn't exercise. She was looking for reasons as to why she could.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

She wasn't sitting at home thinking this wouldn't work or asking people and accumulating evidence for why things Wouldn't work. She was out there making it work. And no shame to anyone here, because we all do this in our head. This is happening in our heads all the time.

[Sam]

Okay?

[Susie Pettit]

When I could see it in my son's friend, I was like, oh, where am I doing this in my life, too? And we definitely are. When we can be open and kind with ourselves in our mindset, we can find places. It's like, oh, where am I making excuses for why I can't go after my thing? Like, in my aspect of my business. An example for me is thinking, it's too hard to run Facebook ads. They're too complicated.

[Sam]

Okay?

[Susie Pettit]

So I'm, like, making excuses against my dreams instead of thinking, hold on. Facebook ads work for all these other businesses. Let me see how they'll work for mine. And I get in and get into action. I get scrappy like that lady with the stroller. This is the concept I'm going to teach you about today. By the end of this episode, you'll know how to get quicker at catching yourself in doing this. So we can flip the script and. And build a case for our dreams one thought at a time. Okay, let's start with what it means to argue against your dreams. It is simpler than you think. Once we're onto it, there are a couple things that will, like, trigger us to be like, oh, I'm doing this thing. So there are a couple key phrases and feelings to look out for. So one way to figure out yours is to think back to the beginning of this year. Okay, what were some of the goals you had that you've sort of put back in the closet? Okay, maybe you started the year and you're like, maybe I'll do this. Or maybe you had something cross your mind, like what I just said, like, maybe I'll do this. But you didn't even allow yourself to have that goal because you. So it's just like, maybe this will be what is happening in my ear for me. Seriously, Think about it for a second. What were those things?

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

And then tell me through. Talk back to me right here. It's just you and me. Why aren't you doing that thing? Okay. Or why did you decide that thing is impossible for you? Tell me again.

[Sam]

Right?

[Susie Pettit]

I want you to listen to what your brain is saying. These are your dream stealers. These are them. Anything like, yeah, well, you tried that last year, or, that'll never work, or that's not possible for people like you, or, I'm different, or, no, these things don't work for Me. Or maybe even, like, an insult. Maybe you're like, of course you didn't follow through with that. You're, you know, fill in the blank. You don't, you know, you're lazy, unmotivated, whatever. Okay, this is an example that came up for one of my clients. Okay, let's say you set a health goal of losing weight. Arguing for it might sound like, I haven't lost any weight yet. Even though I've stopped eating after meals, like, after dinner. I wonder what I should add to further support my health. That's arguing for your dream. Arguing against it sounds like this. See, I knew this wouldn't work. I'm too old. I'm meant to be this way. This never works for me.

[Sam]

Okay?

[Susie Pettit]

I set the goal of not eating after dinner, and here it is a month later.

[Sam]

Thank you.

[Susie Pettit]

Ditch that idea. Why? What are you telling yourself? Why have you stopped trying? That's what we want to pay attention to. The words we use matter. They shape what we believe is possible for us. Let's start considering. Are you building a case for your dreams, or are you letting fear and doubt run the show? Are you looking for reasons why the baby stroller won't work? Figuring out how it can with the way our brains work. It is super important that we bring attention to what we're doing in our head, because here's the thing. We can find evidence to support either reality.

[Sam]

All right?

[Susie Pettit]

We can find evidence as to how that baby stroller won't work. We can look online. We can find how the wheels have to be a certain part about how if you run, you know, whatever, like, that's going to hurt your back. We can ask specific friends who will agree with us, blah, blah, blah. And the opposite is also true. Have you seen that? Like, we can look around and see all sorts of people running with their babies in all sorts of ways. And people who, like, you know, do. They're like, oh, my God, I ran a marathon with an umbrella stroller. Okay, let's. Like, that's just one random example that happened to me. But how about the weight? I think you can see, like, if we're arguing against ourselves in our dreams, we can find other people that will agree with us for sure. Take the example I gave with the client. Trying to lose weight has a health goal and trying to lose weight. She hasn't lost weight yet, even though she wanted to stop eating after dinner. And, you know, she will find other people who will jump into the excuse party with her. Yeah, it is hard. Yeah, it's because we're aging, you know, hormones, blah, blah, blah. Yet the opposite is also true, which is great news. Okay, if you're like, you can find people that. If you're like, I stopped eating after dinner and I haven't lost any weight yet. What should I do? Because you're still committed to your goal. They're like, well, why don't you try maybe getting to bed earlier? Or maybe have you. You get into, like, problem solving. They're like, well, what are you eating for dinner? Or maybe this or maybe that. They may send you an article on how losing weight in midlife is easier than losing it in your 30s because of these factors. My point is both arguments can be made and evidence for both arguments can be found. So really pay attention. I have another example that's coming to my mind. I think you heard me speak about how one of my sons, he's in college, in university, and he traveled around Southeast Asia for a month. And after his. After. So school ended for him his semester, and then he traveled a month before his next. Like, now he's back in school for his next semester. Well, when he came back, he said he wanted to get a job and earn some money in that break period. Okay, I can remember this so clearly. He was sitting there eating my eggs. And so I listened as he said. He said his friends and his dad said he had missed his chance and he would never find a job because all the jobs were taken when he was in Southeast Asia. Like, he was traveling around. And since he didn't jump on it right then, all the other jobs, like, the students were already home and the jobs were all gone and blah, blah, blah. Okay, here's a test. If he started thinking those tests, is he arguing for or against the outcome he wants? I think you got it right. Okay, so the outcome he wants is he wants to get a job and earn some money. So what did he do? He literally sat there eating all my eggs, telling me how those people were wrong. He's like, I'm not gonna let. I'm not gonna listen. I can find something. And sure enough, you know what he did? He made close to 800 bucks over break because he found a way to make it happen. He was off for, like, two and a half weeks for real. His brain argued for the outcome he wanted. He found evidence for how it was true, and he went after it. This is a choice, warriors. Literally every moment of every day our brains have. You know, it's estimated between 60,000 to 85,000 thoughts a day. The more attention you pay to what you're thinking about, the more control you will feel over your life. It's amazing. It's so cool. Like, the more we pay attention. This is great. And this week, I want you to be onto yourself. Pay attention. It is a simple shift. I just want to be transparent with you. I noticed it myself this morning. My word of the year is ease. And I've been waking up and thinking of what ease would look like today and what would feel like ease. And I was just sitting there before my day even started. I was just drinking coffee, looking out, and I was feeling heavy. The opposite of ease. And I was like, wait a minute, Susie Q. What is your brain doing? And I just paused to, like, actually pay attention to what the actual thoughts were in my day. And they were saying how my schedule was full and I'd never get my podcast written and recorded in that time I scheduled to do it, and how that would mean that I'd have to rearrange my schedule for the rest of the week and blah. Like, literally, it was, like, in there, just this little, like, bossy Susie with her hands on her. On her hips, just, like, making up all these excuses. Well, thank goodness I knew I was doing an episode on this. And I've had the practices of over 20 years of, like, stopping, noticing how I'm feeling, stopping, tuning into what I'm thinking and being like, wait a minute. Okay, that's one way to look at it. And how about the. How can I flip it to the exact opposite? What if I could write it in this period of time? Okay, how might I do that? Okay, so getting out of that bully Suzy, I got into that problem solving. I was like, how great will it feel if I can make that work this week? That's what I want for you. I want you to be on to yourself. Pay attention. Are you arguing for or arguing against your dream? Whichever you argue for will win. I promise you that. If I had not just had that pause on the. On the porch, I would have. I promise you, I would not be recording the podcast right now. I'd be just in drama. That's what happens. Okay, These examples I gave you. My son made the money arguing for his dreams. Okay, how about your goals, the health goal? Or like, how about that woman who thinks, well, I guess I don't have the willpower to stop eating after dinner. Guess what? If she fights for her excuses, they win every time.

[Sam]

Okay?

[Susie Pettit]

And then we have the burden of not doing what we want to do. Added to this feeling, like, crud about ourselves. I hate that, especially since I know that with a coach helping you see inside your head, it's not necessary. Sometimes we can't see this in ourselves. Remember how I noticed it first with the stroller?

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

If you have a coach bring the places where you're, you know, into drama into their session this week. Hopefully it's with me or in the Love youe Life school. I love helping people with this.

[Sam]

Okay.

[Susie Pettit]

Also, look around because you can't have your coach with you all the time. Look around this week and notice. And listen to the people around you. Notice. Are they fighting for their best life or talking themselves out of it? Okay, now just side note here to all my recovering codependents, this is not for you to bring up to them and say, like, oh, do you notice how? No, this is for you to do in your head. Okay. We're letting other people have the journeys they're having.

[Sam]

Right?

[Susie Pettit]

But let's. The first step is this awareness. Notice it in other people. Let other people be themselves, have their journeys, and then turn it to you. Where am I doing this in my life? Because you are doing it in your life somewhere. That's what our brain does. And the second step, I love my forethought turnaround for that, for this. So the fourth thought turnaround is, is this thought true? Is it kind? Who would I be? Or what would I think without this thought? What's something else I could think? They just sort of prod you to do the flip. I'll put a link to the episode that teaches specifically on how to do that in the show notes. So if you're on Apple or Spotify, scroll down and the purple writing and cue that up next. You have so much more power than you realize. The thoughts in our head become our realities when we think them.

[Sam]

We.

[Susie Pettit]

Without pausing to monitor what the heck our brain has come up with. And this week, I want you to pay attention to this one thing. Are you fighting for the life you want to be living or against it? So exciting. Okay. I recently asked on Instagram how people found the podcast, and a huge, huge majority said that a friend or family member or loved one had shared it with them. Could you do me a quick favor and share this episode or. Or any episode that you love with just one person in your life? It would mean the world to me if every single one of you did that. I'm getting goosebumps. We would instantly double the POD listenership overnight, which would allow me to get even better guests and produce even more amazing content for you just send one episode to one person? Just you. I massively appreciate it. And I massively appreciate you. Let's go Warrior.

[Podcast Announcer]

Thank you for listening to the Love youe Life show. If you want to hear more from Susie and support the show, be sure to subscribe to this podcast on itunes. Also, leave a review and share this podcast with friends and family. Go get em, warriors.

[Sam]

Sam.