Wet Hot American Bummer

Summary

Lovett or Leave It: "Wet Hot American Bummer" – July 1, 2026

Podcast: Lovett or Leave It
Host: Jon Lovett
Guests: Mark Duplass, X Mayo
Theme: A blend of comedic takes on recent political and cultural events, personal stories, and interviews focused on relationships, creativity, and American history, all tied together with Lovett’s signature mix of wit and candor.

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Jon Lovett gathers with actor/director Mark Duplass and comedian/writer X Mayo for a summer show packed with satirical takes on current events, deep dives into the weirdness of relationships and creative partnerships, personal stories (from the TSA line to the Marvel Cinematic Universe), and a playful history game. The tone is quintessential Lovett: sharp, self-aware, and generous with both jokes and vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Satirizing America’s Political and Cultural Moment

Segment: "What a Week"
[03:05–09:28]

• Lovett opens with a comedic history lesson on July 4th, drawing parallels between the founding fathers’ legacy and today’s trivial political dramas.
  • Notable quote:
    “On July 4, 1776...they created the United States. One day, God willing, they’ll teach their children about us… Only the good parts, said Thomas Jefferson.” ([03:40])
• He skewers the current Trump administration’s attempt to co-opt the America250 celebrations for political gain, comparing it to “your sister wearing white to your wedding… to ruin an event by making it about themselves.”
• Various jokes about state fairs, MAGA themes, and surreal new bean flavors at Bush’s Baked Beans.
• Commentary on the resilience and hypocrisy of American traditions—particularly with regard to July Fourth fireworks and how they impact the local bald eagle population.

2. Backrooms, Creativity, and Relationships: Interview with Mark Duplass

[13:20–31:41]

• On "Backrooms":
  • Lovett and Duplass discuss the phenomenon of the “liminal space” horror film “Backrooms.” Duplass explains that its appeal isn’t traditional jump scares but rather its unsettling, slightly “off” atmosphere.
    • Quote:
      “It’s just a millimeter off from reality... and I’m not gonna be able to tell and it’s gonna go bad.” – Mark Duplass ([16:08])
  • Addresses rumors that Duplass secretly directed the film, clarifies his role as mentor, and jokes about leaking the truth for more acting gigs.
• On Creative Partnerships & Marriage:
  • Duplass talks about co-writing with his wife Katie—acknowledging the complexity, codependency, and intimacy of collaborating with a spouse.
  • The duo candidly covers boundaries, shared therapy (“it saves so much time with exposition”), and the internet’s reaction to their Modern Love essay on codependency.
  • Playful “clingy or just right?” game: Discussing behaviors like hand-holding while driving, open-door bathroom policies, and sharing locations with significant others.
    • Quote:
      “We are notoriously somewhere between codependent and interdependent…” – Mark Duplass ([19:36])
• Comedy and Relationship Wisdom:
  • Wisdom from “The League” co-star Paul Scheer:
    “Do not hold each other hostage on any of the shows you want to watch together. Let each other go, and you’ll have a happy marriage.” – As recalled by Mark Duplass ([25:07])

3. X Mayo: From TSA Agent to Marvel Star

[34:01–63:00]

• Personal Journey:
  • X Mayo shares her unique career path, starting with her time as a TSA agent at LAX: the source of many unintentionally hilarious and bizarre stories—including catching someone smuggling weed in a Kodak camera case hidden in their underwear.
    • Quote:
      “Legally, I can graze your sensitive area... I had to cup her vagina. I said, ma’am, what is this?... It’s just some weed.” – X Mayo ([47:16])
• Writing and Comedy:
  • Her years at The Daily Show under Trevor Noah, balancing humor and ethics when writing about distressing news.
  • The critical role of diverse news sources (The Shade Room, Jasmine Brand) to keep the show fresh and intersectional.
    • Quote:
      “There’s always a joke.” – X Mayo’s mentor at The Daily Show ([39:52])
• Fitness and Health:
  • Introduces the concept of “fascia” and fixes Lovett’s walk on stage, resulting in much laughter and a quasi-diagnosis of his “weird gait.”
• Marvel Cinematic Universe Dream:
  • Talks about joining Disney’s “Wonder Man” and the thrill of finally impressing her younger brother.
    • Quote:
      “That is the first time he’s cared about anything that I’ve done. As soon as I told him... He was so excited.” – X Mayo ([52:55])

4. Playful History Game: “American History X Mayo”

[54:11–63:00]

• The trio competes in a lighthearted, fact-based game featuring underappreciated or offbeat facts about American history (e.g., Lincoln’s shared bed, the real casualties at Fort Sumter, the origin of Diet Coke and cocaine in soda).
• Jokes about historical “codependency,” group names for animals, and the Diagonal Streets of Hollywood.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On July 4th, America250, and Trump’s Co-opting:
  • “Artists like Martina McBride... pulled out... because they didn’t realize the event had become politicized. And they’re right. State fairs are where all Americans... come together on a hot summer day to give themselves diarrhea.” – Jon Lovett ([04:30])
• Liminal Space Anxiety:
  • “My kids... would hug me at night, and she’d put her hand inside my shirt to make sure there was still my body on underneath this thing... That everything we see and trust the most might not be what we think.” – Mark Duplass ([16:08])
• Lovett on “Doctors Without Borders” Spouses:
  • “You sleep next to them and want to complain about not getting your vision across on take four, and they’re like, ‘Yeah, we fixed the cleft palate...’ This is why it’s enough with the doctors.” – Jon Lovett ([20:32])
• On Writing for The Daily Show:
  • “There’s always a joke.” – Zhubin Parang to X Mayo ([39:52])
  • “At funerals, it’s bad. I have to, like, turn it off. Cause I see it…”
• TSA Stories:
  • “I did find things. The general public is very stupid, and they did.” – X Mayo ([44:40])
• Open Relationship Communication:
  • “Tracking your significant other’s location. Do you have Find My on on your phones?... We do. Whole family’s got it.” – Mark Duplass ([29:53])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Highlight | Timestamp | |------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------|------------------| | What a Week (satirical news) | Political/cultural commentary, Trump, eagles, beans | 03:05 – 09:28 | | Mark Duplass Interview | Backrooms, relationship codependency, Hollywood | 13:20 – 31:41 | | Duplass “clingy or just right?” | Relationship boundaries, honesty, therapy | 23:01 – 31:41 | | X Mayo Joins | TSA stories, fitness, writing/acting career | 34:01 – 53:40 | | Marvel, family, fandom | Pride, pressure, “Wonder Man” discussion | 51:40 – 54:10 | | American History X Mayo (game) | American trivia, comedy, group discussion | 54:11 – 63:00 | | Closing/Second Thoughts | Reflections, personal admissions, regrets | 63:10 – 70:00 |

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Notable Audience Takeaways

• Comedic yet Insightful: The show merges astute political satire with honest, often vulnerable stories from its guests, making politics feel both more accessible and more human.
• Creativity and Intimacy: Duplass’s reflections on marriage and codependency present a rare, unvarnished view of creative and romantic partnership—funny and real, not Instagram-perfect.
• Unexpected Storytelling: X Mayo’s tales from the TSA and rise in entertainment highlight both the absurdities of American bureaucracy and the tenacity needed to break through in the arts.
• Inclusive, Playful Tone: Everything is open to gentle roasting and self-reflection, from historical facts to quirks of personality and the weirdness of human bodies.

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Episode Tone and Style

Lovett’s hosting is playful but incisive, often poking at both guests and himself. The style leans conversational, with plenty of comedic “bits” and direct audience engagement. Both Duplass and X Mayo match his energy, switching easily between jokes and earnestness.

Best for listeners who want:

• A fun, digestible rundown of the week in politics and culture
• Honest talk about relationships, therapy, and creativity
• Candid, comedic stories from Hollywood and beyond
• Trivia and playful banter

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Sample Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. On American state fairs and polarization

   • “State fairs are where all Americans... come together on a hot summer day to give themselves diarrhea.” – Jon Lovett ([04:30])

2. On “Backrooms” and liminal space fear:

   • “It’s just a millimeter off from reality... and I’m not gonna be able to tell and it’s gonna go bad.” – Mark Duplass ([16:08])

3. On codependency and collaboration:

   • “We are notoriously sort of somewhere between codependent and interdependent…” – Mark Duplass ([19:36])

4. On TSA work and finding weed in a peculiar place:

   • “I had to cup her vagina. I said, ma’am, what is this?... Kodak camera case... with weed inside.” – X Mayo ([47:16])

5. On siblings’ pride at Marvel gigs:

   • “That is the first time he’s cared about anything I’ve done. As soon as I told him ... He was so excited.” – X Mayo ([52:55])

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Closing Thoughts

This episode exemplifies Lovett or Leave It’s unique strengths: sharp, relevant satire, fearlessly personal conversations, and a commitment to finding humanity and humor even in the week’s most baffling news. Lovett, Duplass, and Mayo invite the audience to laugh, think, and maybe feel a little less alone in both the absurdity and tenderness of American life.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

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[X Mayo]

is back and so is the official Podcast Join hosts Greta Johnson and Jason Concepcion on HBO Max's official House of the Dragon podcast as they break down every episode and speak with the show's writers, cast and crew members. It's an all out war in Westeros and you never know what to expect when battling with dragons.

[Mark Duplass]

Watch the official Game of Thrones podcast

[X Mayo]

House of the Dragon on HBO Max or listen wherever you get your podcasts. All new drinks are now at McDonald's

[Mark Duplass]

with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher,

[X Mayo]

the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam.

[John Lovett]

Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six. All new drinks are here now at McDonald's. Refreshers contain caffeine. Love it, believe it, let's love it, believe it. Welcome to Love it or Leave It. Live from Hollywood, I'm John Lovett, and baby, I'm a firework. We have got a great show for you tonight, but first, let's get into it. What a week. On July 4, 1776, the delegates of the Second Continental Congress signed the Declaration of Independence, separating themselves from England and creating the United States of America. One day, God willing, they'll teach their children about us, said John Hancock. Only the good parts, said Thomas Jefferson. Only the good parts, said John Hancock. Huzzah. Said the founders. Jefferson and John Adams, former allies turned adversaries, died on the same day 50 years later, on July 4, 1826. Poor John Adams. That's like when Farrah Fawcett died on the same day as Michael Jackson. For a moment, you're like, oh, right, Farrah Fawcett died. John Adams last words were said to be, thomas Jefferson still survives, but unbeknownst to him, Jefferson had died a few hours earlier. Adams shows up to heaven pissed. St. Peter tells him Jefferson died. And then John Adams is like, okay, then where is he? And St. Peter says, oh, he's not here, babe. And then how John Adams laughed. Eat shit, Thomas. Enjoy kissing the devil in the French. Speaking of how the Trump administration's Great American State Fair is in full swing on the National Mall, it's pretty cool. You use Trump crypto coin to buy tickets for the carnival games, and then if you win, you get tokens that you can exchange for Trump crypto coins. Now, Congress had created a bipartisan nonprofit called America250 to organize the events. Trump then launched a competing organization called Freedom250 so that he could turn the occasion, originally meant to be a patriotic celebration for everybody, into what Trump himself described as a kind of MAGA rally. Not since your sister wore white to your wedding and announced that she was pregnant during her toast has someone tried so hard to ruin an event by making it about themselves. Artists like Martina McBride, young MC, and Bret Michaels pulled out of their scheduled concerts at the fair because they didn't realize that. That the event had become politicized. And they're right. State fairs are where all Americans, young and old, straight and gay, liberal and conservative, come together on a hot summer day to give themselves diarrhea. The fair kicked off Wednesday, June 24, with musical performances and welcome speeches like this one from transportation secretary and former Real World contestant Sean Duffy to start this off, I think we have to

[Mark Duplass]

give a big round of applause for our military band and singers. Way better than those libtards that canceled on us.

[John Lovett]

It might seem like calling the artists libtards is a great way to prove that they were right to cancel, but that's not fair. This was just a last ditch effort by Sean Duffy to convince the Black Eyed Peas to show up and play let's Get Libtarded in here. Each day of the Great American State Fair is dedicated to different Trump approved themes such as Horsepower of America, Wings of Freedom, and the American Canvas. Other days include a salute to divorced Dads, Red, White and two genders and Poetry Day. Just kidding. Gun Day. There is also, and this is real Maha Monday, where visitors can learn about, quote, feeling better, living longer and doing it the American way. Which I guess means eating a salad while busting a union. Don't let the health talk worry you too much though, because this is still a fair and you can still get a corn dog and there will be eating contests and the Porta Potties will honor tradition by having three occupied vacant. And this place is not a place of honor. What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. The danger is still present in your time, as it was in ours. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited. The last day of the fair is dedicated to the next 250, including a celebration of robotics and artificial intelligence. And it was all going swimmingly until lightning struck that one robot and it screamed the Lord's Prayer and then it started counting down in a kind of monotone toward what seems to be a specific day and time a few years from now. Weird. In the meantime, visitors can ride the Ferris wheel that has been erected on the National Mall. And this just in. The Ferris wheel is covered in algae. I repeat, the algae has taken the Ferris wheel. Meanwhile, Bush's Baked Beans debuted a limited edition summer trio of patriotic baked bean flavors, Dill Pickle Apple Pie and Rocket Pop. In my day, you could only experience exciting flavor combinations like this if you threw up. Look, on a hot summer day. As a kid, whenever I had an ice cold Rocket Pop, I often thought, gee, this would be better if it were piping hot beans. And of course, July 4th brings Nathan's famous and Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney island, where the world record for hot dogs eaten in one sitting competitively 76, was set by Joey Jaws Chestnut in 2021. Boy, I wish I could gobble down that many wieners, said South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham this year will also feature the first Ozempic hot dog eating contest, in which contestants will compete to finish one hot dog. And finally, over 10,000 Big Bear residents signed a petition asking the town to cancel the annual fourth of July fireworks spectacular despite the boon to local tourism, as it would disturb the area's celebrity bald eagle family, which includes two new eaglets, Sandy and Luna. Don't press your luck, bald eagles. We did right by you. DDT was awesome. It killed a lot of bugs, all right, but we stopped using it because it made your shells so thin that eagle moms would lay eggs and then crush those eggs under their own weight. Which I agree is deeply sad, but we stopped it for you. Don't mess with the fucking fireworks. Or we can go back to Benjamin Franklin's original pitch of making the turkey our national bird. I swear, those freaky gobbling birds like being eaten. It's their kink. Oh, the widow baby eagles are scared. Grow up. This is America. And I don't care if it frightens the last white rhino to death. We light it up. The Hershey's bars don't come in foil anymore. All our cars are ugly and gray. You can't buy a house unless you already own a house. So we' going to do the fireworks. And if those birds want to be fags about it, they could take their nest to Canada. Say it with me. Usa. Usa. Usa. All right, we've got a great show for you and we will be right back.

[Mark Duplass]

Hey, don't go anywhere.

[John Lovett]

There's more of Love it or leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by stamps.com we could all use a few more hours, even minutes in the day for ourselves. Skip your trip to the post office and stop letting mailing steal your precious little time. With stamps.com with stamps.com you can print postage and shipping labels from your computer or phone24.7 with up to 90% off UPS, USPS, FedEx and more. No lines, no trips, no waiting. Get everything done in minutes and even schedule free pickups so carriers come right to you. Whether you're sending letters, contracts, important legal documents or packages. Stamps.com makes mailing simple for businesses of all sizes, including multi location offices. You can even send certified mail with proof of delivery right from your desk. Boy, wouldn't it be nice to get things done in minutes instead of hours if everything you needed was right there on your computer or phone. What a world it could be. It's not even AI. It's not even a. It's a world you could live in. If mailing is taking more time and more money than it should, try stamps.com free for four weeks and get a welcome kit. Go to stamps.com/love it to get this offer today. That's S T a n p s.com/love it stamps.com/love it taxes and fees apply Love it or leave it is brought to you by Zbiotics Pre Alcohol. Let's face it, after a night with drinks, you don't bounce back the next day like you used to. You had to make a choice. You can either have a great night or a great next day. That is until I found pre alcohol. We were just in Chicago for the opening of the Obama Presidential center and I brought zbiotics. And before I left the hotel, I would just throw zbiotics down because I knew I was gonna be having a couple drinks. I don't normally have drinks two or three nights in a row.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah, let me tell you, Chicago really tested the the outer bounds of zbiotics.

[John Lovett]

Absolutely. But it held up. But it held up. But it held up. Zebiotics Pre alcohol probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's a buildup of this byproduct, not dehydration, that's to blame for rough days after drinking. Pre alcohol produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. Just remember to make pre alcohol your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and you'll feel your best tomorrow. I just told you the story of how I used it. Let me tell you something. I had zebiotics on Thursday night, had a bunch of drinks, woke up the next day, walked myself to a bar, had pizza with John. Then you know what I did? I walked to another pizza place to have a deep dish by myself. Do you know that? That's what I did after I left you on Friday, I went and had a secret deep dish pizza at the bar of a restaurant. You know what I did before I saw you on Friday? What? Thanks to zebiotics, that was at 11:30. At 8:30 I got to Navy Pier

[Mark Duplass]

with my family in two and two children and went on the teacups three times. Wow.

[John Lovett]

Three times.

[Mark Duplass]

After all of those bourbon and sodas,

[John Lovett]

then I go for it. Incredible.

[Mark Duplass]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Antibiotics. July is packed with barbecue, fireworks, late weekends and late nights with friends Keep the good times rolling into the next day. Drink prebio alcohol before you go out and wake up ready for whatever Sunday brings. Head to zbiotics.com love it. Use code love it at checkout for 15% off. That's zbiotics.com loveit code love it. And we're back. Mark Duplass will be out in just a moment. First, if you are a friend of the pond, thank you. And if you're not, consider this your midterm reminder. In addition to even more pond Save America content like Only Friends, that's our podcast that's just for subscribers and our open tabs newsletter. You get ad free breaking news, you support independent media you can trust. Plus you get a discounted ticket to CrookedCon. So please, please, please become a friend of the pod. We provide a lot of content and it's a great way to support a pro democracy media company. So go to crooked.com friends to learn more. And if you are in LA, come check out the new studio. People are having a great time right there. Right. Upcoming guests include Margaret Cho, Langston Kerman and Dana Gould. Plus we have the first Gen Z member of Congress, Maxwell Frost, joining us. So go to crooked.com events to get those tickets. All right, Please welcome to the stage, the taller one, Mark Dublas.

[X Mayo]

Hi.

[John Lovett]

Hi. Good to see you, buddy. Thanks for being here.

[Mark Duplass]

I got three chairs. What, do you want me to sit here?

[John Lovett]

Sit closest to me, please. Yeah, sit close. So I want to tell you something. I wanted to make sure I didn't say duplass, because I believe I have undiagnosed dyslexia. So I struggle with reading things phonetically. So here's how I remember to say it, which was duplass, do equals door. What is dyslexia, you think?

[Mark Duplass]

I think it's not that.

[John Lovett]

Right. For sure.

[Mark Duplass]

Well, some people like to sit in a chair just kind of like normally. And some people can't sit. Can't do it.

[John Lovett]

Can't do it.

[Mark Duplass]

And I think it has something to do with that.

[John Lovett]

I might be.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah, I can get lower. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

So back rooms.

[Mark Duplass]

Backrooms.

[John Lovett]

Back rooms.

[Mark Duplass]

Which is not the backrooms. You know who the fans are. Because Basically everybody over 25 calls it the backrooms. Oh, like the Walmart, the Stein Mart, the thing. And then everybody under 25 who is a fan of the movie calls it backroom. So you did really well.

[John Lovett]

Thanks a lot. I try to keep in touch with the youth. Can you tell me what happens so it's less scary when I go see it?

[Mark Duplass]

Yes, okay, so I'm gonna start at the end. So here's the thing about backrooms. It's the truth. I don't think Backrooms is an empirically, like, scary movie. It's weirdly to me, I can't believe this movie is as popular as it is. It's like a strange Eastern European mood piece that happened to be an Internet meme that a bunch of people came to see. But when I saw the movie before it went out, I was like, oh, these kids, they're gonna be upset that this is not more jump scary and all that stuff. But they fucking loved it. And I was so happy.

[John Lovett]

I was at a Days Inn in upstate New York, and it had this. It was. It had built this kind of indoor space between what had previously been a motel. And there was an arcade that was making noise 24 hours a day, fake plants and a kind of pool. So the whole room had that kind of indoor pool smell. And it was the spookiest fucking liminal space. I feel like people. There's something about. Because I remember when the. When the. The videos of the back room started going. Were you.

[Mark Duplass]

Were you watching it? And.

[John Lovett]

Yes, I was seeing them, and I was really freaked out by them. And then you start to experience these liminal spaces. And there really is a lot of people that stumble upon these places, and they feel like they've kind of broken through to the other side of the Matrix. And I don't know what it is about the moment of not being able to trust what you see, that we're all kind of ready to believe that behind the door of a place that seems normal is a kind of true back area where it's all being run. Do you feel that?

[Mark Duplass]

Well, I feel a couple of those things. I think that there's this thing that kids. I don't know if you've ever been around kids who. They have this great fear that their parents may not be the real parents. And it's a very consistent thing with kids. And my kids, when they were, like, maybe three, four, and five years old, one of them in particular, she would hug me at night, and she would put her hand inside my shirt to feel and make sure that there was still my body on underneath this thing. And it's this deep fear that everything that we see and that we trust the most might actually not be what we think it is. And to me, that's the core of the liminal space fear. It's like this is just a millimeter off from reality, and I'm not gonna Be able to tell and it's gonna go bad.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

It's like you and I are on a talk show kind of right now.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, kind of.

[Mark Duplass]

Kind of. But, like.

[John Lovett]

Kind of. But it's like.

[Mark Duplass]

But it's a little bit different, right?

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Feeling's a little bit off for sure. Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

And like, if you're. If everybody's, like, really quiet, there's, like this subtle, like, little. You hear it?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, there's something not quite right.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah, there's something not right, but I

[John Lovett]

think that's my energy as a host.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, we're good.

[John Lovett]

So you had to, like, make a statement because people were trying to suggest that you had, speaking of things not being what they seem, that you had secretly directed backwards.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah. There was this weird thing that happened where it all sort of makes sense. Kane Parsons, who directed this film, was 19 when he directed the movie, which

[John Lovett]

I think is disgusting.

[Mark Duplass]

Which is disgusting. And we all hate him because of that. Right. But we have to find different ways to sort of operationalize that hate so we don't look petty. Right. And the main way that this materialized was people saying, oh, Mark Duplass was on set. He's a mentor of young filmmakers. He clearly ghost directed the movie. That was sort of this thing that went around. So I bravely came out on my social media accounts.

[John Lovett]

So brave.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah, it was very brave. You know, so.

[John Lovett]

So powerful.

[Mark Duplass]

And I let everybody know that Kane is a great director, which is true. That he directed the movie by himself, that he didn't need any help from me, which is also true. But at the same time, in my braveness, I just wanted to let everybody know, because I had a relatively small role in the film, that I could insert myself into the conversation in a meaningful way to maybe get some more roles out of it.

[John Lovett]

Right. That's cool. So see, that's the business.

[Mark Duplass]

That's real break for you.

[John Lovett]

That's Hollywood. That's Hollywood. That's how it works. That's somebody who knows the business. That's someone who knows the business. You also co wrote Magic Hour with your wife Katie, who also directed, and it's the first time you worked with her since, I think, 2012. Is that right? Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

I mean, we do little things together, but this is the first time we had done something very meaningful. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Are there pitfalls to working with your spouse? Because it's like you're together all day, so you can't come home at the end of the day and talk about your day.

[Mark Duplass]

How much time you Got.

[John Lovett]

Oh, we.

[Mark Duplass]

Well, you guys got time.

[John Lovett]

We got a. You know, look, listen, we just got to. We got to go a few more minutes to mattress. Okay.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

But. But I. Because I used to work with. With my husband.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah. So, you know, as you might imagine, it's a. It's a love hate thing for us.

[John Lovett]

It's just love. So your stuff is worse.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah, so. Yeah. So. Well, it's weird because Katie and I are. We are getting divorced.

[John Lovett]

Oh, no. Oh, God. Hate to hear that. Nope.

[Mark Duplass]

So. All right, so here's the. Here's the thing.

[John Lovett]

They're divorced. You're deeply in love.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You have a deeply. You have a kind of rapacious love for your wife.

[Mark Duplass]

We have. We are notoriously sort of somewhere between codependent and interdependent, which is kind of what the movie Magic Hour is about to a certain degree, was us expressing this sort of feeling of, isn't this everything you ever wanted to be so close with someone that you feel that you really can't live without them? But we have become so inextricably intertwined that it can be a little problematic. And we think it's half good and half bad. So we decided to sort of make a movie about it. But to your previous question, I think for me, I'm really grateful that this thing that I do, telling stories that I take very seriously that encapsulates the highs and lows of my day, can be understood by the person sleeping next to me, rather than sleeping to someone who works at Doctors Without Borders or is like, you know what I'm talking about.

[John Lovett]

I can't stand those people and.

[Mark Duplass]

Cause, like, you sleep next to them and you want to complain about the fact that you weren't able to get your full vision across on take four. And they're like, yeah, yeah, we fixed the cleft palate. Yeah. You don't get to Talk about Take 4 when the cleft palate's sleeping next to you.

[John Lovett]

Right, right. Yeah. Which is, in a way, it's like, almost, like, insulting.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

To you, it's like your work matters. Like, who the fuck is this doctor?

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

To act like your work doesn't matter with their whole energy. This is why it's enough with the doctors.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah. That's why I've come here, basically.

[John Lovett]

If you take nothing away from this show, it's like, we gotta knock the doctors down a pen. They're all high on their own supply. Speaking of people coming after you online, you had a modern love conversation with the times in which you and Your wife talked about being codependent, and then people got mad at you for suggesting you were codependent because you were describing it, but they were like, that's not codependent.

[Mark Duplass]

That's not codependent.

[John Lovett]

You're just independent or interdependent.

[Mark Duplass]

Interdependent. Or just maybe just clingy, you know?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, you're super. And I don't really understand the difference myself. I did find it interesting to learn that you and your wife have the same therapist that you don't see as couples. You do, but you see individually. You share a therapist that you see for individual sessions. That is intimate.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah. Some people would say that that is a conflict of interest, and I would have a hard time making a cogem argument otherwise. But for me, it sort of happens serendipitously. Like, when you find a good therapist, it's the greatest thing in the world, and there are waiting lists, and it is so hard to find. Harder than finding someone to marry, I would argue. And so we found the great therapist, and it was like, well, who's gonna go? Well, we're both gonna go. Now there's this ancillary benefit that I just really love, which is, like, I can't paint Katie in some unilateral way that this therapist doesn't have other information about and sort of, like, get her to say that I'm right and make me feel good and ram jam that situation to stroke my ego. She knows Katie empirically on her own. Also saves a ton of time with exposition. She knows all the story. I can just jump right in. To me, it's win, win. I'm sure someone out there is like, you have so many blind spots on this right now. You have no idea.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, no, I mean, like, I'm not in therapy because they. They said I didn't need it, but they did.

[Mark Duplass]

They did.

[John Lovett]

They said I was good, and then I didn't eat anymore, which was cool. They're like, you're set. Never come back.

[Mark Duplass]

Transcended forever.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. They were like, we've never had this happen before, but you've cracked the whole thing. Actually, I'm gonna just start telling you about my problems now. Inspired by your Modern Love episode, we're gonna play a game we're calling Love it, and please God, don't leave it. I'm gonna give you a scenario, and you're gonna answer. Is this too clingy or is it just right? All right, first up, only being able to go to the dentist if your spouse holds your hand.

[Mark Duplass]

Mm. That's just right. That to me, that is a level of vulnerability that I think we all hope to achieve, which is, I'm 49 years old. I should be not afraid to go to the dentist. You love me enough that I can admit this to you, and you'll not only still ideally want to fuck me at the end of the day, you'll walk me in and you'll get a free toothbrush at the same time.

[John Lovett]

What's your restaurant ordering process? Is it assumed that even if you order individually, you're sharing?

[Mark Duplass]

This is a little different, but I'm glad you asked, because in a truly interdependent relationship like we have, there are these areas where we defer to each other, and we know we're going to defer to each other. So I don't have the most sophisticated culinary palate, whereas Katie does. So when we go to the restaurant, there's gonna be two entrees and an appetizer, all of which will be her choices that she thinks could be good. One and a half of those will work for her, and then I'll eat the other stuff. And we're both totally happy to do that. That being said, when it comes time to, like, sit down for a movie, she tends to fall asleep early at night. So I'm always gonna pick the movie. Cause she'll fall asleep in 20 minutes, and then I'll ride out and pick the movie I wanna watch. So we have these little areas that we are, like, captain and co captain of.

[John Lovett]

Do you have individual shows?

[Mark Duplass]

Very thought out, you guys.

[John Lovett]

The therapy is great. Do you have individual shows and group shows or. You know what I mean? Like. Cause I have shows that are like. So I have. I have. I know that they're like, ari's gonna watch Love island, and that's their thing. And I'm not participating in that. But then if they were to watch Elsbeth, I'd be like, no, no, no, that's our thing.

[Mark Duplass]

This is our thing. Yeah. So I did a show called the League with the great Paul Scheer, many years. And he, yeah, I got some fans out there. And he was asked to speak at a wedding. And he realized that by the time it got to him, everybody had said everything he wanted to say. So he was like, shit, I gotta come up with something on the spot. So his advice to the couple that he thought of in the moment was, do not hold each other hostage on any of the shows you wanna watch together. Let each other go, and you'll have a happy marriage. I thought that that was really, really good. I thought that really, really beautiful. So Katie and I don't hold each other to those things. Cause there are times when you're out of town, you get an episode ahead. You know, I once lied about it and told her I hadn't seen the episode. You can't pull that off. She sniffed that shit out on me in, like, minute two.

[John Lovett]

I have to tell you something. I don't think there's not a person with blood in their veins who hasn't thought, I'm gonna watch the episode and then fake it and watch it again.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You know what I mean? You've thought about it. It's like a fantasy, you know?

[Mark Duplass]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

You ever had like a. It's almost like. It's similar to the thing of, like, when you had a paper. What if I fake that I broke my leg? You know, and you never actually go through it. Once in a while, some sociopath will do it and you'll be like, oh, my God, that was the kid at my school that pretended they broke their leg. You think about it, but you don't do it.

[Mark Duplass]

I've never.

[John Lovett]

You did it.

[Mark Duplass]

I did it. I did it. And I was quickly caught. And there wasn't sex that night, but it's okay. We came back around.

[John Lovett]

But sex, 364 other days of the year.

[Mark Duplass]

Hey, what was the. Yeah, what was the next?

[John Lovett]

Insisting your beloved leaves the door open while using the bathroom so you can still talk.

[Mark Duplass]

Katie's put up a boundary.

[X Mayo]

Cool.

[Mark Duplass]

So for those of you who have children in the audience, you know that. Or dogs or needy rescue dogs, there are these moments when you start to open the bathroom doors because the kids want to get in, the dogs want to get in. Our kids are older now. They don't want to do that anymore. And so we had an open door policy for a little while. And then a few years ago, Katie was like, we're going to shut the door. So I was like, I respect that. You know, little wounded, but when she's in there, I do like to pass by the door and just do a

[John Lovett]

little do, do, do, do, do, do.

[Mark Duplass]

And she gets a little angry, but then a little giggle, and it's nice.

[John Lovett]

One time, I thought it was like the middle of the night and I woke up to go to the bathroom, and I thought Ari was sleeping next to me, but it was actually the dog had jumped in to Ari's spot, and. And so I just went and opened the bathroom door, and we both screamed loud enough to wake the Whole neighborhood. Just a full blood curdling scream from the toilet followed by a full blood curdling scream from me, causing the dog to jump off the bed in panic. And then we had to take the dog to the vet because she heard her leg from the panicked screaming because she was so afraid.

[Mark Duplass]

So now she couldn't turn her homework in the next day.

[John Lovett]

She was absolutely scared.

[X Mayo]

It's awful.

[Mark Duplass]

The whole thing was terrible. That. That is an incredible horror movie. I mean, dog hurt, but that's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Like, I see something, this person is. How can. They are there in the bed too, Right?

[John Lovett]

It was very spooky.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You know what my problem is with Invasion of the Body Snatchers? I'm glad you brought it up.

[Mark Duplass]

It's not a good movie.

[John Lovett]

Oh, that's. I don't agree with that. You don't think it was. You don't think it's a good film? You don't think the Donald Sutherland version is good? Here's my problem. They don't snatch the body. They just kill you. They just kill you and use the shape they grow in new ones. I thought Invasion of the Body Snatchers is. They have a body. They snatch you, replace the brain. No, they take you and desiccate you and make a new plant version of you that only talks like you. They're not snatching the bodies, they just kill you. They're just Invasion of the Body Killers.

[Mark Duplass]

If you and I were like 23 years old and living in deep Brooklyn in an apartment together and we hadn't yet made it in the industry, and you said that to me, I'd be like, okay, tonight I made it next to the industry. We're going to make this short film. We're gonna dress you up as like, you know, Siskel, and you're gonna give the review of Invasion of the Body Snatchers as someone who clearly loves the movie but has to give it a zero review cause there's no snatching. Hey, that four minute short film monologue needs to be done.

[John Lovett]

Here's my feeling. I just learned something about you and us, which is, why do I have to be Siskel? Why can't you be Siskel? I wanna be fucking Ebert. You're Siskel.

[Mark Duplass]

You wanna be Ebert.

[John Lovett]

Shit, you're Ebert. I'm. You're a sisco.

[Mark Duplass]

You do have that specific type of anger. It just showed it.

[John Lovett]

You think I have a Siskel energy? Yeah, the kind of. Kind of like a vaguely like kind of Niles Crane adjacent kind of nose,

[Mark Duplass]

like I'm going to be. I'm going to.

[John Lovett]

You're the salt of bigger, man.

[Mark Duplass]

Nine out of ten times. But on number ten, you're going to, like, breathe wrong and I'm going to tear your face off.

[John Lovett]

Okay. You're Ebert, I'm Siskel.

[Mark Duplass]

That's right.

[John Lovett]

Tracking your significant other's location. Do you have find my on on your phones?

[Mark Duplass]

We do. Whole family's got it. The two daughters, my wife and myself.

[John Lovett]

I find it's interesting that there are some couples, great couples, that are like, no, never. And then there are some that like, of course, why not? And it's an interesting date.

[Mark Duplass]

What do you guys think we're on?

[John Lovett]

I like knowing we're always seeing each other's location.

[Mark Duplass]

Has there ever been a moment for you where you're like, oh, there's a little white lie here. I'd like to tell. But he's got. They've got my location, so what do I do?

[John Lovett]

This is gonna sound. It's birthday present shopping. Yeah, I swear that's when I tried to turn it off, but you are

[Mark Duplass]

posturing for the audience.

[John Lovett]

No, I know. I was just saying you want them to think you're amazing, you know, plus my affairs. But other than that.

[Mark Duplass]

Game recognized game. Yeah, plus my affairs.

[John Lovett]

All right, let's see. Holding hands while driving. That seems wrong.

[Mark Duplass]

We do it all the time. No, we do it all the time. There is a thing where Katie's grandparents were like, our heroes because when I met them, he would always. He would never let her pass without, like, giving her a little cute little tap on the butt and little kisses. And I saw it and I was like, he's not always wanting to do this, and she's not always wanting to receive this. But there is a fake it to make it ness where they just keep doing this and they have kept that rhythm up and it sustained them. So Katie and I saw that and we're like, okay, 20% of the time, we're not gonna feel like doing this, but we're going to do it so we can stay in the rhythm.

[X Mayo]

Cool.

[John Lovett]

So we just kind of wrote butt pats. That's the secret to a happy life.

[Mark Duplass]

You get it?

[John Lovett]

I'm in.

[Mark Duplass]

You get it. You're gonna go home tonight and shit's gonna change

[John Lovett]

and just right. And you can watch Magic Hour, the movie you wrote with your wife Katie is now on Video on Demand. And we'll be right back.

[Mark Duplass]

Kate, don't go anywhere.

[John Lovett]

There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Oh my gosh. It's so important. A good night's rest sets you up for a great next day. So I was supposed to wake up I like I don't know what the person I believe I'm gonna be on Monday morning when I'm making this plan on Sunday morning. But I was like, you know what, I'm gonna get up early and go to a gym class on Monday morning before I come in. And I woke up early and I was like it. I'm just gonna sleep an extra hour. But then pundit was up and so pundit just barked at me for the hour so I didn't get the sleep anyway.

[X Mayo]

Tough.

[John Lovett]

But today I feel great because of my Helix Mattress. Helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the us. How do they know which mattress is right for you? You take the Helix Sleep Quiz and I'll match you with a perfect mattress based on your personal preferences and sleep needs. They have over 20 mattress models so you can find the perfect model for you. The Happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk free customer first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress so you can rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. Plus helix offers a 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. I have my Helix mattress. I love it. I have the Dawn Luxe super comfortable. Highly recommend it. Go to helixsleep.com love it for 20% off sitewide that's helixsleep.com love it For 20% off site wide. Helixsleep.com loveit it. Love it or leave it is brought to you by AG1. Everyone loves a good summer vacation, but getting out of your regular routine can leave your body feeling a little run down. But it doesn't have to be this way. Head out for your summer adventures. Worry free with AG1 every morning. Just mix one scoop with 8 ounces of water and you are good to go. AG1 is a daily health drink with a multivitamin pre and probiotic superfoods antioxidants. The easy delivery system means you'll get high quality nutritional support every single day no matter when or where you start your morning. AG1 helps you maintain energy, support your gut health health and supports immune health. The next gen formula delivers 75 plus ingredients clinically shown to support gut health, fill common nutrient gaps and improve key nutrition levels within three months. You should really just in the morning, you know, like whatever you can eat that day. Maybe you're gonna Go to a chick fil A. Maybe you go to McDonald's. Maybe going to a party, whatever. You're not gonna have a salad, have a vitamin to start the day, Boy, you'll feel better, you know? You know, you hit your. You got some good stuff in there, you know? Drink ag1.com. Love it. To get a free ag1 travel case with seven free ag1 travel packs in your welcome kit with your first ag1 subscription order while supplies last. That's drinkag1.com loveit. And we're back.

[Mark Duplass]

Hi, everybody.

[John Lovett]

Please welcome to the stage X marks the spot. It also marks our next guest. Please welcome the stage X Mayo. Hi, welcome. Bring it in. Nice to meet you. Thanks for being here. First of all, love. Love the. Love the jumpsuit. Love my shoes.

[Mark Duplass]

I'm gonna go through your phone if that's cool. Okay.

[John Lovett]

He has very intimate rel. He's a clingy guy. You get used to it.

[X Mayo]

You sit like that the whole time.

[John Lovett]

Sometimes I can get lower.

[X Mayo]

Oh, okay.

[John Lovett]

I just don't. I feel. I don't feel.

[X Mayo]

No, no, that's good. It opens up your hips. You know, now that I'm approaching 40, I'm, you know, getting out the bed in sections. So, you know, I have a myofascial person, you know, that's nothing that you.

[John Lovett]

What is that?

[X Mayo]

So you have fascia. Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with this. Okay, thank you. Okay. Fascia is in between the bone. It protects the bone. So you gotta work that out. So it's like above the muscles, so that stuff needs to move. So think about if you open up an orange and you peel it apart. All that white shit, that's fascia. We gotta work that out. And she's very stubborn.

[John Lovett]

Interesting.

[X Mayo]

Yeah. So it's like, when I went to go see her, I was like, oh. Cause I'm training for this fitness competition. I was like, hey, we need to work on my running. She was like, do you know how to walk? And I was like, bitch, been walking since I was 2. Like, what you mean? You know, it's like somebody asked you, like, do you know how to talk, John? Like, Mark, do you know how to, like, write? It's like, yeah, you know how to write. You've been writing for forever, you know, like. So I was like, walk. And so she was like, yeah, bitch, you don't know how to walk.

[John Lovett]

Can I tell you something? I think I need to go to this person because I think I don't know how to walk. My gait is so Weird.

[X Mayo]

And she opened up my hips and I was like, my hips close, you know, like. I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

John, can we see the.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I'll show you my weird. It's a weird gate. It's hard to do. I'll be self conscious, but I'll try to walk as if no one's here.

[Mark Duplass]

Just try.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, it's a little weird, I think.

[X Mayo]

I think you're. I think you're primed to fall because it's like a. It's like a one step and it

[John Lovett]

doesn't really make sense. Like. You see what I mean? I can't even describe. It's a weird gate and there's nothing wrong with it. It's hard to know what the problem is, but there's something not quite right with how I'm walking. And I'm in very good shape.

[Mark Duplass]

The left foot's going out a little bit.

[John Lovett]

Yes, and my grandfather had that as well. We had the outgoing left foot.

[X Mayo]

Oh, so you inherited that?

[John Lovett]

I think so, yeah.

[X Mayo]

It's kind of like an heirloom.

[Mark Duplass]

Would your grandfather, Daniel Day Lewis, he did that movie My Left Foot.

[John Lovett]

You know what? He'd do a movie called My Left Foot. No, but Daniel Day Lewis studied my grandfather.

[Mark Duplass]

Oh, there you go.

[John Lovett]

To get into the character. And that's what's so amazing about that.

[X Mayo]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

Hey, you are writing for the BET Awards.

[X Mayo]

Yes, yes, I just left work.

[John Lovett]

Any tips if you want to make money on Kalshee, like Best Artist or anything like that? Like, to make money on those betting markets on, like, the Kalshee betting markets. That's where people bet on real world events. Through, through. So for.

[Mark Duplass]

It would literally be like, how long before John falls walking across the stage. And you put. And you put one minute.

[John Lovett]

You can bet on two seconds.

[Mark Duplass]

You know.

[X Mayo]

Wait, that's the thing.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, it's terrible.

[X Mayo]

Wait, it's all. You can, like, bet.

[John Lovett]

You can bet on a red. I bet right now.

[Mark Duplass]

You know, is really what it is.

[John Lovett]

You can probably bet on the BET Awards right now. Okay, well, I mean, don't do it. I think there's, like. It's ethically dubious and law. And the law is a bit murky, but unless you're a big Trump person, they'll come after you.

[X Mayo]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Lovett]

So don't. Insider trade. If you do know who wins best Male Hip Hop Artist of the year, it's beautiful. But tell me after.

[X Mayo]

Right, right, right. Yeah. I'm a whisper to.

[John Lovett]

You know, you'll get your. Be quiet. Don't worry about that.

[X Mayo]

Be quit. That's like. That's like crypto.

[Mark Duplass]

Sure.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[X Mayo]

Okay. That's another version of crypto.

[John Lovett]

You'll make some money. You'll make some. I will help. We'll do it, you know. You know.

[X Mayo]

Okay, well, I. Well, for the BET Awards, I don't know what you said. It's called calisthenics.

[John Lovett]

It's calshi.

[X Mayo]

Kalsheet. Kalsheet, yeah. Cowsheet. Yeah. Okay. I don't know what they would do on cow. She'll know how to vote. But I would say watch it to help my residuals.

[John Lovett]

Great. Perfect.

[X Mayo]

Yes, please.

[Mark Duplass]

There you go.

[John Lovett]

When you were writing for the Daily Show.

[X Mayo]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

You know, we.

[Mark Duplass]

I mean, come on.

[John Lovett]

Come on.

[X Mayo]

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Mr. Trevor. Noah.

[John Lovett]

What was your strategy for keeping up with the news all the time without losing it? Cause I don't have one.

[X Mayo]

Yeah. I think there's a point when working in specifically something like the Daily show where you're no longer human. So it kind of like broke me down because I got to a point. So my mentor, my everything, my sensei, Zhubin Parang, he's still there. Joobin and I were performing together at ucb. Long story short, I had no idea what the fuck he did at the Daily show or anything like that. To me, he was an improv God. And I was about to move back to la. Cause I'm from la, born and raised. I did New York for five years. I was like, I'm not spending another fucking winter here. And I'm broke. So I was like, God, listen, I'm out of here. I gotta go. He was like, I'm gonna pitch you to Trevor to write for the show. And I said, God or your friend? What do you think you do? No, God, as in him up there. Jesus. Yeah. I don't know who you serve. I respect that.

[John Lovett]

No, got it.

[X Mayo]

Right? Yeah. I'm open to every. I think everybody. Faith is right. Be booted, yoga, bow down to a lollipop. I don't give a fuck. Just try to be better, you know? Right. So I just wanted to say that, you know, I believe in interfaith and all of that. Okay. So when I was like, God, I can't be here and be broke. Right? So then Jubin was like, hey, I'm gonna pitch you to Trevor to write for the show. And I was saying, what the fuck do you do? Right? Cause, you know, la, everybody's an agent, everybody got a card, Everybody do something. I'm like, what do you do. He could be working crafty, you know, like, what do you do? And he was like, oh, I'm a producer for the show. And I was like, oh, okay, great. So then once I got there, I'm saying that because with. And there was a point where I forgot what the fuck the story was about. And I was like, julian, I can't make a joke about, like, we can't make a joke. I can't make a joke about, like. I can't. Like, I just felt so. Like, this is immoral. Like, this. We can't make a joke about this person. He looked me in my eye and he fucking did a Jedi mind trick. He looked at me, my eye. He didn't blink. He said X. There's always a joke. And from that point on, I have become the most problematic person.

[John Lovett]

I mean, that's beautiful. I like that. I love that. There's always a trip and fall.

[X Mayo]

I got two spirits sketches for you. You know, like, I just. Yeah, I just. At funerals, it's bad. I have to, like, to, like, turn it off, like. Cause I see it. But so what I'm saying is, like, I was able to, like, keep up with it because there's a part of me that kind of just died and to do the job, you know, essentially. But then there was. Because I'm such an actor, because I'm such an artist, there will be the other part of me that would come back up, which is helpful because I'm very passionate. So there will be certain jokes that I feel hit more because there was emotion behind it. And Trevor's such a fucking brilliant genius. So, yeah, I had to get a Twitter. Did not have Twitter. Cause they were like, Trump could take his dick out. You know, you gotta be ready, Gotta be ready. You guys see that? See that little Tootsie Roll? And so I was like, okay, gotta ready. We see it. And so, yeah, so it was just like the Internet. And also being a black woman. There are certain stories that I'm like. I care about that are like, you know, maybe like the masses or the traditional Daily show audience wouldn't. So I'm on other outlets as well. Cause I'm like, trevor, what if we talk about this? Cause there's a way to, like, surprise the audience, do stuff. It's like, okay, we know, fuck, you know, New York Times gonna say Washington Post. But it's like these other outlets, like the Jasmine brand, the Shade Room, like, you know, what's going on on Hollywood Unlocked. Like, what's the ear to the Streets. And because Trevor is, you know, black, and so he's like. Wants to know those things as well. So I think that was great, too, because he has such an international voice. So, yeah, that was my long winning answer. I'm so sorry.

[John Lovett]

No, that was good.

[X Mayo]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

My mark, did you ever have any strange encounters with the TSA at the airport?

[Mark Duplass]

Well, I noticed at a certain point that I was getting away with more liquids than I should. Have you guys noticed this lately?

[John Lovett]

Yes, it seems.

[Mark Duplass]

It's like I forgot, and I put the big toothpaste in, and I was like, oh, I'm gonna get. I did. They didn't catch me.

[John Lovett]

It seems as though. I think that's such an important and interesting point that we should all be chill about and not make a big deal of. But it seems like they know the liquid rule was bad, the government, but they're also afraid that if they announce all liquids are good, next thing you know, the bad liquid bomb thing happens again. So they have to kind of allow the rule to go away without ever actually letting the rule go away. And we all live in a kind of gray zone where it's like, as long as it could be more than 3.4, but it can't feel like more than 3.4. You know, everybody's getting very vibey at the TV, which is.

[Mark Duplass]

That's why it's so confusing, because that sort of fluid energy is not something we're used to at the airport. If your bag is 50 pounds and 0.1 fucking ounce, an extra $200, you're done. There's no fluidity there. But. So, yeah, it's a theory. The problem is, I just. I wish we knew someone who, like, worked there.

[X Mayo]

Who.

[John Lovett]

I know. I wish there was someone we could ask who had maybe been in the tsa, worked there, could kind of give their expert. Wait, so, X Mile, did you work for the tsa?

[X Mayo]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And you were a TSA agent?

[Mark Duplass]

This is crazy.

[John Lovett]

So you were a TSA agent from 2008 to 2010?

[X Mayo]

Yes. A little over 2010. Yes. I did my. Did my bid. I did my time and LAX.

[John Lovett]

At LAX?

[X Mayo]

Yes. T4, baby.

[John Lovett]

For T4 International. No, no, no. That's American.

[X Mayo]

Yeah, that's American. Sometimes it would. You can connect.

[John Lovett]

You can connect. You. Sometimes you get. Sometimes you get an American flight. You're like, where am I walking? And then all of a sudden, yeah, you're in it. So, wait, what was your TSA experience like?

[X Mayo]

It was amazing. I love working, and I genuinely love people, and I thrive in customer service. And I feel like that was, like, a real customer service job. I did not fuck around. I took my job very seriously. I didn't realize at the time because I did not have the comedic language to say that I was doing bits or that I was just like, you know, I'm just. Just. Have always just been horny for the stage. I've been performing since I was 8. So when I got to TSA at 23, I had quit acting for the second time. I was like, it. I'll get a job. Because at that point, I've been auditioning for 11 years, never booked. I was like, okay, well, maybe this isn't the thing. So then I would never want to be tagged out of the mag where you make the announcements. I loved it because you had to listen to me. So I had, like, an audience that was forced. And if you up, you wouldn't get on your flight. You wanna listen to me? Okay, fine. Well, then you are exhibiting terrorist, like, activity. I need you to have additional screening. You know, so I. I loved it. And everyone. No one loved to talk. No one wanted to do anything. So they're like, yeah, leave X there for the whole fucking, you know, thing. And so, yeah, no, I loved it. But I took my job very seriously. I did find things. The general public is very stupid, and they did.

[John Lovett]

What's an example of something you found? I know.

[X Mayo]

Especially back then in, like, 2008. Like, I mean, I'm from LA, so marijuana, to me, was always legal, but I know it got officially legal at some point. And so you guys had marijuana cards, right? But people would put their weed in foil and put that through the X ray. Then people would make homemade panties and put money in foil, wrap it in and zip it in there and go through the walkthrough. Like, this is all metal.

[John Lovett]

That's not a good idea.

[X Mayo]

No, it's not.

[John Lovett]

But you caught somebody with another. Someone with weed, right?

[X Mayo]

In a store, 100%.

[John Lovett]

And you tell what happened, because I don't think it's. I was surprised to learn where and how.

[X Mayo]

Where it was. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So it was my last day. I decided to quit. And I was like. Cause Marlon Wayans came through. And I was like, oh, my God, you're my king. How do I, like, get back into the industry? And he was like, you have to write. Do you write? And I was like, I read a text message. And he's like, no, you have to fucking take this shit seriously. So, you know, I'm like, 24, and I'm like. I'm like, oh, my God. Marlon Wayans told me I have to go after my dream. You know, like, it's just that young. I love being ignorant and having audacity. In your 20s, it's the fucking best, right? So I was like, I'm leaving. I'm going back to pursue my dream. So it was my last day. And then this woman walks in. So to the untrained eye, we get a lot of heavy training at tsa. To the untrained eye, to all of you, she'd just be walking. But I was like, this bitch is up to something, right? So when she was, like, walking, and then she started to be a little too frazzled for me when I was like, hey, can you send her in for additional screening? Like, if you don't have additional. If you don't need additional screening, you'd be like, okay, cool, whatever. But sometimes people amp it up. Like, why? Why me? Like, what? I don't have anything. And it's like, you do. So when they, like, brought her in, I had fucking terrible ass. Fucking manager Moises, he loved. He would write you up for 30 seconds late. Like, you're just a fucking asshole. So when she came in, I'm like, okay, this is a fucking test from headquarters. Moises is fucking with me on my last day. You fucking bitch. So when she comes in, legally, I can graze your sensitive area, right? I have the right to do that. So as when I was, like, patting her down. I have a vagina. She has a vagina. I felt something that I'm like, I don't think that's what should be in a vagina. Vagina shouldn't feel that way, right? And at the tsa, when you feel something, you hold something, right? So I had to cup her vagina. I said, ma', am, what is this? Right? And she was like, oh, my God, I have a tampon. I said, I need to see it. She was like, I need to see it. It's blood. I said, there was blood on 9 11. Bitch, I don't play by my job. Why you think I'm here? I don't give a damn. I need to see in there.

[John Lovett]

That's right.

[X Mayo]

That's right. Oh, no, no. I was an officer of the law,

[John Lovett]

office of the law, protecting the country from terrorists.

[X Mayo]

Let me tell you something, John. The FBI didn't have shit on me and my blue bag. Oh, baby. Absolutely not. So then she was like, okay, okay, okay. It's just some weed. I said, well, you lied to me. You're exhibiting terrorist activity. So go in this room. Take your panties off right now. So I had another woman in. I had to have another person, like another officer in there for additional screening. So she drops her panties and she's like. Pops out this Kodak camera case, and it has Steve Urkel on the front that says, did I do that with a little more than a dime sack of weed inside the camera case? I said, do you know that weed is legal? She was like, yes. I said, you could have just had a card. Like, you didn't have to do this. So in my mind, I'm like, moises is fucking with me, right? Again, this is a test from Head. Of course. Nobody could be this fucking stupid. So I walk up, I'm like, ha ha. Moises on my last day, really gonna fucking do that to me? He was like, x, no, you really caught someone. I was like, fuck me. Because now I have to do six hours of fucking paperwork for this bitch. So. And then she gets arrested. It's like, yeah, why did you do that? But like, yeah. Cause she had on, like, the dress she was wearing and this and this and that. And it's like, yeah, you think? And also, like, the pussy is far more powerful than that bitch. You could have a hefty bag of weed in that shit. You really wasted for this little shit. And also, like, get it in there. Like, it was literally, like. Because the thing is, like, it could be a detonator. It could be a bi. I would need to fucking get there, play with her pussy, and detonate the bomb. I don't know what's in there, John.

[John Lovett]

You don't know what's in there.

[X Mayo]

I'm trying to help.

[John Lovett]

You're serving the country. You're in uniform. Respect people in uniform.

[X Mayo]

Right? Yeah. You say, vote Save America. X saved America.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[X Mayo]

Hello.

[Mark Duplass]

Hello.

[John Lovett]

All right.

[X Mayo]

So. Yeah. So that was one of my stories at tsa.

[John Lovett]

Holy shit.

[Mark Duplass]

We do have a little surprise for you.

[X Mayo]

We do.

[Mark Duplass]

She's here with us tonight.

[X Mayo]

Wow. Still got weed in her pussy. My lord.

[John Lovett]

And we'll be right back.

[X Mayo]

Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

Hey, don't go anywhere.

[John Lovett]

There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Thrive Market. Thrive Market takes the hassle out of grocery shopping. You can easily filter by your specific dietary needs or health goals to find the perfect alternatives for you. No stressing over labels or googling. Every additive, every product and brand is vetted before they ever hit the site. The IN app barcode scanner finds a healthier swap for almost anything in your pantry right now. Member pricing up to 30% off plus weekly sales plus free gifts plus price matching plus free delivery on qualifying orders all in the membership. 90 plus filters means you're only seeing what works for you. High protein, low sugar glp, one friendly gluten free keto and more. No more decision fatigue. Your filtered results only show you what fits your household. There's a lot of great stuff you can get on Thrive Market. You get Graza olive oil, which I really like. You get get Primal kitchen sauces like their special sauce burger sauce for you know you're going to have a barbecue this summer. You can get organic nuts or dried fruits. You can get coconut oil, pasta, peanut butter. If you're ready to do your own spring reset, Join Thrive Market with our link@thrive market.com Love it. For $20 off your first three orders, plus you'll get a free $60 gift. Thrive market.com Love it.

[X Mayo]

In moments like these, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and even easier to feel powered. But we are neither. I'm Stacey Abrams and on my podcast Assembly Required, I take on each executive action, legislative battle and breaking news moment by asking three questions. What's really happening? What can we do about it? And how do we keep going together? This is a space for clarity, strategy and hope rooted in action, not denial. New episodes of Assembly Required. Drop Tuesdays. Tune in wherever you get your podcast and on YouTube.

[John Lovett]

There's only one Ozempic.

[Mark Duplass]

Hello, I'm Ozempic. Because this ad is 30 seconds. I can't get into everything I'm FDA approved to do, so I'm just gonna play my jingle again. But first, ask your doctor about which FDA approved uses of me. The Ozempic pen may be right for you. Call 1-833-OZEMPIC or visit ozempic.com to view the medication guide and learn more about Ozempic. Semaglutide injection 2mg. Only Novo Nordisk makes FDA approved Ozempic. Now here's that jingle again.

[John Lovett]

There's only one Ozempic. And we're back. Now you're in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

[X Mayo]

Yes, I am.

[John Lovett]

You're in Disney's Wonder Man.

[X Mayo]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And what's it like being? I mean, you know, you had been auditioning for years. You were given up, you're becoming a TSA agent. Then you're back at it. Now you're a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Do you get to like go home and be like, I told you No,

[X Mayo]

I think I never feel secure in this industry. I think I've been blessed to, you know, consistently work and pay my own bills via living my dream since 2018. But, you know, we dealt with the struggle, and I'm in the wga, in the sag, and I feel like. I just don't feel. I never feel, like, totally secure. This is it. Or that I've arrived. There's so much that I want to do, and there's so many personal projects that I want to do. So I did feel excited and extremely grateful because I was shooting in Los Angeles, the city that I'm from, the city that I love so dearly. So that was amazing. But nothing in me once I did that felt like, oh, I did it. Or like, you know, I've arrived. You know, it just felt like, okay, this is amazing. This is a blessing.

[John Lovett]

There's more work, but, like, being part of Marvel, like, you must have, like, friends or family that are like, oh, my God, yes. Blown away. Like, they must.

[Mark Duplass]

There's gotta be a nephew who thinks you're the shit.

[X Mayo]

No, my baby brother, who is my everything. And we're 17 years apart. So I'm his, like, second mom, and I'm his primary parent. That is the first time he's cared about anything that I've done. Like, I've done movies, I've done multiple TV shows, been blessed to do all of that. As soon as I told him I call him Papa, I was like, papa. I got booked to be in a Marvel show. He's like, oh. Oh, my God, what are you wearing? Do you have powers? Do you fly? Who's it with? Is it Thor? I'm like, okay, listen, can you be happy for me? But, yeah, he was so excited.

[John Lovett]

That's nice.

[X Mayo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was great. It was great. It was great working with Yaya. The whole team. I hope we get nominated for an Emmy. And not even me personally, I think Yaya did an amazing job. Destiny and Andrew were phenomenal. And Sir Ben Kingsley, I mean, King Ben Kingsley.

[John Lovett]

That's so cool.

[X Mayo]

He's great.

[John Lovett]

It's also so fun, though. Like, a character that was kind of like, that they can make something that they can, like, bring that kind of character back and have a whole different kind of world, you know? It's, like, so different from, like. I don't know, like, it is so different from, like, Thor. It's like a much more kind of la, kind of, like, Hollywood thing. It's so cool we're here in LA as we're approaching the 4th of July holiday. And so we thought it would be a great time to look back at American history. But only the history events I have personally taken an interest in in a segment we're calling American History X Mayo.

[X Mayo]

Woo. Wow. And wait, Mark, you're not playing.

[Mark Duplass]

No, he's playing.

[X Mayo]

Oh, okay.

[John Lovett]

He was playing. He's playing. But we just thought American History X Mayo is a fun name. And even though it's evoking like a pretty dark film and it's unrelated to the game, we thought like, well, we're not gonna leave a pun like this on the floor.

[X Mayo]

No.

[John Lovett]

You know what I mean? You're gonna leave.

[X Mayo]

You gotta pick that up.

[John Lovett]

You gotta use it. You gotta use it.

[Mark Duplass]

It's got a great curb check scene in it.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, it's the most it Truly.

[X Mayo]

Mike, I hope you're okay with me touching you. You know, black people, we're very like. Like I, you know.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah, yeah.

[X Mayo]

I'm so sorry. I did not ask for consent. Up top.

[Mark Duplass]

I'm wanting a little more.

[X Mayo]

Yeah, okay.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[X Mayo]

Sorry, Mike. We're very physical. You're so sweet.

[John Lovett]

First up, question for you. Abraham Lincoln had a close male friend named Joshua Fry. Speed. What did he and Josh share for four years in Springfield, Illinois?

[X Mayo]

A sexual relationship.

[John Lovett]

That's not known. But where would you have that relationship?

[X Mayo]

In a bedroom.

[John Lovett]

That's right. In a bed. They shared a bed.

[Mark Duplass]

Now, I was gonna say gym membership.

[John Lovett]

The gym membership? Well, I mean, they think they were getting exercise. I mean, bed sharing was common, but it was more of a kind of a necessity thing. They shared a bed even after Lincoln became a prominent lawyer who could afford his own home. So that's interesting. Yes, that's interesting.

[X Mayo]

Everything I know about him is from Omar.

[John Lovett]

So, yeah, that's interesting. Yes, they exchanged deeply affectionate love letters throughout their letters throughout their lives. But that's what everyone did. So who knows, right?

[X Mayo]

Back then, yeah, everyone was gay, right, Mark?

[John Lovett]

George Washington also had a gay friend, Baron Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben, who historians believe had a close, possibly homo relationship with Prince Henry of Prussia. Baron von Steuben's on the left. They have taken gayer shots than this, but man, these are some. Look at these. Look at these flaming homos.

[X Mayo]

The wigs are great.

[John Lovett]

Baron von Steuben was credited with forming Washington's men into a proper military force during the Revolutionary War. What was the name of Washington's army?

[Mark Duplass]

Oh, they were called.

[John Lovett]

It's also a kind of breakfast at a hotel.

[X Mayo]

The Continental.

[Mark Duplass]

The Continental. Continental, That's Good. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Next question. Either of you can take it. In April of 1861, the Battle of Fort Sumter raged for over 34 hours, the Confederacy firing over 3,000 rounds to force a Union defeat and ignite the Civil War. How many people died at the Battle of Fort Sumter?

[Mark Duplass]

Zero.

[John Lovett]

That's correct.

[X Mayo]

Oh, wow. Good job.

[Mark Duplass]

Not one.

[John Lovett]

Good job.

[Mark Duplass]

See, that's the only way that question becomes interesting.

[John Lovett]

Right?

[Mark Duplass]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. You thought to the other side.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah, I went the other way with it. Um, yeah, there's a. I was on Jeopardy. I lost. Aw,

[John Lovett]

I'm sorry.

[Mark Duplass]

Everybody got really sad when I said that.

[X Mayo]

Right. Mark, you really about to root down.

[Mark Duplass]

I was riding the humor and I was like, I'm gonna get the last little nip of the laugh and that laugh's gonna fade right into John's next question. And it just went silent.

[John Lovett]

I know. You know what? Something. I was with you because I was caught off guard by the silence, which is why I, like, wasn't. I was. I was, I was ready for what you were expecting. We had a whole thing set up and you all left us down. In 1900, meteorologists scoffed at the idea that a hurricane could hit this city in Texas right before a cataclysmic storm, technically a cyclone, caused the deadliest natural disaster in American history. Plano is not Plano.

[Mark Duplass]

Austin, Texas.

[John Lovett]

It is not Austin, Texas.

[Mark Duplass]

Dallas, Texas, not Dallas. Galveston.

[John Lovett]

Correct. Galveston.

[Mark Duplass]

Galveston. Why did they not think Galveston's on the frickin border?

[John Lovett]

Yes, well, it was a bigger city. It was a bigger city. You don't think about it as much as. But at the time, boy, Galveston was hopping. Galveston was going off. And then they're like, nothing could go wrong for us here in Galveston. What's the wind about? Forget it. Don't worry about it. Oh no, we're all dead.

[Mark Duplass]

In the 19th, Galveston, was that off the chain in the 19th century?

[John Lovett]

It was crushing it. It was crushing it. I don't really know how the story ends because I'm only three quarters of the way through that book, the story, literally. I'm reading a book about the 1900 hurricane in Galveston. And right now the water is going up and the. And they're like, this is weird. So that's literally. Literally while I was driving, I was listening on my way to the office and I got to the office and it was like. And then the water was hitting the bottoms of the horses. But everyone was still going about their day. That's not good. I don't think it ends well for those people.

[X Mayo]

No, not for that horse.

[John Lovett]

In Los Angeles, there's a mile of Hollywood between Santa Monica and Fairfax and Hollywood and La Brea, where everything is diagonal. Diagonal streets, diagonal buildings, and even diagonal swimming pools. Why? Why are there diagonal buildings in one square mile?

[X Mayo]

Okay, diagonal is slant. Slant.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[X Mayo]

Okay, I'm bad at math. So they all go like this?

[John Lovett]

Yep, just on that one stretch.

[Mark Duplass]

Because it's the epicenter of Los Angeles and everything was designed like painting from the way out in. And they had some fucked up stuff. Interesting. That doesn't really make sense, but I was thinking like painted himself into a corner or something like that, you know?

[John Lovett]

Well, in a sense it was because.

[X Mayo]

Oh, that's shady.

[Mark Duplass]

Who did that?

[X Mayo]

You are a shady.

[Mark Duplass]

Boo.

[John Lovett]

The Russian judge is on the buzzer.

[Mark Duplass]

That was good comedic timing.

[John Lovett]

It was good. It was a well timed buzz. It was a well timed buzz. It was because it was to accommodate the streetcars turning around. And the streetcars can't make hard right turns.

[Mark Duplass]

I'm from New Orleans. I should have known that shit.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, the city used to have an incredible network of streetcars. Then we ripped them out of the ground and now everyone's like traffic. And you know what that sound means. It's time for the Coca Cola history lightning round. What?

[Mark Duplass]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

They're not. And they're not. It sounds like they're a sponsor. They're not a sponsor. They're not a sponsor. That sounds like a branded segment. And God willing, one day it will be. What year was Diet Coke introduced to the American public? Having its official premiere at a gala at Radio City Music Hall?

[Mark Duplass]

1923. 3.

[John Lovett]

False.

[X Mayo]

Wrong. 1956.

[John Lovett]

Later.

[Mark Duplass]

19.

[X Mayo]

2000. 1.

[John Lovett]

Later.

[X Mayo]

2005.

[John Lovett]

Earlier than yours. Later than his.

[X Mayo]

2000.

[John Lovett]

Earlier.

[X Mayo]

1999.

[John Lovett]

Earlier guesses. 1982.

[X Mayo]

1982.

[John Lovett]

The year of my birth.

[Mark Duplass]

Wait a minute. Why so late? I don't know.

[John Lovett]

It's awesome. That's Joe Name at Joe Namath sucking

[Mark Duplass]

on a Coke bottle.

[John Lovett]

Diet Coke bottle. And he's loving every second of it. What a dream. What a world it was before.

[X Mayo]

So you really love Coca Cola?

[John Lovett]

Love Diet Coke.

[X Mayo]

Love Diet Coke.

[Mark Duplass]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

What year did Coca Cola remove cocaine from the ingredient list? Amongst growing concerns about addiction?

[Mark Duplass]

2021.

[John Lovett]

Earlier.

[X Mayo]

2005.

[John Lovett]

What? Much earlier.

[X Mayo]

1971.

[John Lovett]

Way earlier. 1919. Well, very close. Yeah. I'll give it to you. 1903.

[Mark Duplass]

When was it invented?

[John Lovett]

I don't have that information on the card. But what a bummer to have been a huge fan of Coke and then you buy it on the next day, and you're like, this isn't working. What did they do?

[X Mayo]

I thought that that was just like a dumb bit that comedians said. And it's such an easy joke. But there really was Coke.

[Mark Duplass]

There was Coke.

[John Lovett]

And finally, what was the name of the first pre Coca Cola tonic that the inventor John Stith Pemberton developed on his path to creating Coca Cola? And I'll give you a hint. It's Dr. Blank's compound syrup of blank. Again, this man is not a doctor.

[Mark Duplass]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

It's impossible to guess. So I'll say that doctor's blank.

[Mark Duplass]

I want to guess. Yeah, go ahead.

[John Lovett]

It's the doctor. It's the doctor's blank compound syrup of blank.

[Mark Duplass]

Dr. Brown's compound syrup of brown.

[John Lovett]

Good guess. Good guess.

[X Mayo]

Mm. Dr. Goode's compound syrup of zinc.

[John Lovett]

Wow. Very close. It was Dr. Tuggles compound syrup of globe flower, globe flour. Isn't that sound. Don't you want, like a nice ice cold glass of Dr. Tuggles? Dr. Pepper? That sucks. I want Dr. Tuggles.

[X Mayo]

That's insane.

[John Lovett]

Wonder man now on Disney, right?

[X Mayo]

Wait, what are you doing?

[John Lovett]

I do.

[X Mayo]

I thought we was on Coca Cola.

[Mark Duplass]

He did you a solid.

[John Lovett]

The game's over.

[X Mayo]

Oh, okay. Okay. I was like. Are you tweaking?

[John Lovett]

I'm sorry. He's plugging. You failed to track my smooth segue into your movie.

[X Mayo]

I'm so sorry.

[John Lovett]

I just looked you dead in the eyes and said, wonder man on Disney Park. That's how I did it.

[X Mayo]

Yes, you did.

[Mark Duplass]

TV show.

[X Mayo]

Movie. Right. Yay. Yeah. Microphones. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And we'll be right back.

[X Mayo]

Yeah, we'll be right back. Oh, my God, John, I'm so sorry. I feel like an asshole. I didn't know that that's what you were doing. I'm so sorry.

[Mark Duplass]

It was a perfect moment.

[John Lovett]

It was fantastic. It was fantastic. And if you're not. If I'm doing something and you're not reading it, that's cause I'm a strange person. I bring a weird energy to this. This is not normal hosting. There's something quite off about how I run this operation. All right. And it's built.

[X Mayo]

It's okay if I agree with you.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, no. And I'm not sensitive about it. I'm not sensitive about it.

[X Mayo]

You're a sweet boy.

[John Lovett]

We're going to use this. This is all in the show now.

[X Mayo]

No. I thought we went to commercial break.

[John Lovett]

We are back.

[X Mayo]

Oh, hi. Oh, my God, John. I'm never coming back. This is my last time. I'm banned. Gonna be banned. My name's gonna be out on that door.

[John Lovett]

Enjoyed. I mean, we're having a good time.

[X Mayo]

We're having a good time.

[John Lovett]

I'm having a good time.

[X Mayo]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, we're great.

[X Mayo]

I like you.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, we'll give you a less. I mean, you can't leave.

[Mark Duplass]

We haven't even brought marijuana vagina woman out yet.

[X Mayo]

That is a great improv name, marijuana.

[John Lovett]

We didn't bake a giant cake for that woman to jump out of and not use it. And we're back.

[X Mayo]

And we're back. We're back.

[John Lovett]

But we're already been back. What a wonderful time we've had. The producers of the show, on the other hand, have notes, which is why it's time for a segment we call Second Thoughts. And here's how it works. I have a list of reasons I should feel regret for how I've conducted myself during this very episode. And if you have anything you regret about tonight, you can share it now, because we're just gonna deal with the things we've learned that maybe, you know, we're not perfect. You don't have to be. And you don't have to be. Let's see. One thing I might regret is that I put the words, enjoy kissing the devil in the French way, bitch. And I had that. That was a quote in my mind by founding father John Adams. But I don't regret that.

[X Mayo]

That.

[John Lovett]

Oh, I did refer to bald eagles as fags, but that's when it's a group. Right, Right. Yeah.

[X Mayo]

No, not a. Whoa.

[John Lovett]

No, you're right. No, that's.

[X Mayo]

Guys, we looked at Hollywood Squares. I know. Too many facts. When it's like. It's a group of pandas, they're like, butch. It's like a thing.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, no, for sure, but.

[X Mayo]

And a group of pride. No,

[John Lovett]

A group of. You're right. At work.

[X Mayo]

You would not get me canceled. I still saved money yesterday.

[John Lovett]

A group of crows is called a murder, and a group of eagles is called a fag.

[X Mayo]

Right. No, that's dead ass.

[Mark Duplass]

And we're back.

[X Mayo]

Oh, my God.

[John Lovett]

I got too upset thinking about an imaginary spouse who works at Doctors Without Borders. And then I got pretty animated about Invasion of the Body Snatchers and whether it's a good time, but I don't regret that. I think it's not a good title. They don't snatch the bodies.

[Mark Duplass]

You inspired a short film idea. Yeah. Why would we regret that?

[John Lovett]

Ex MAU. Do you have any regrets?

[X Mayo]

Yes. You want to.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. You don't need to even tell us what they Are. If you don't want.

[X Mayo]

No, no, I do. It's about Mark.

[John Lovett]

Oh, what is it?

[X Mayo]

So when I was upstairs talking to Mark, I didn't know who he was, so I felt like. So when we're talking, I'm like, he's. This is such a sweet, sweet white boy. I knew he was a comedian because, you know, comedians, you get to. You like, oh, you're funny, right? So, like, we're just talking everything like that. And he's talking about things that he's done, everything like that. Soon as he walks down, I'm like, back Rooms. Oh, my fucking God. How did I. I felt like such an idiot. I feel. I feel so bad. I regret that, like, not clocking that. And just like, he's. And his brother, they just. I know. Asperger's are us. I'm just like, oh, my God. It all hit me and I felt so bad. And although he's so humble and didn't need any of that, I was literally talking to him normally, asking about what he did. But Back Rooms, I feel like it's such a brilliant movie. I have nothing to do with it. I'm not getting paid. This is not an ad. But that little white boy, he know what the fuck he doing. He got one. Back Rooms was incredible. I saw an opening weekend. You're so, like. I regret that. I'm so, so. I'm so sorry. I feel like you wouldn't even care. Like, you're such a normal fucking person, which makes me love you even more. But it didn't hit me, so I regret that.

[Mark Duplass]

Look, I just.

[John Lovett]

He's been seething the whole rest of the day.

[Mark Duplass]

First of all, I have no ego about all that stuff.

[X Mayo]

No, I know.

[Mark Duplass]

It's totally fine. But I. But I do. I should say, though, that I regret all the names that I called you in my head when you didn't realize who I was. And I'm gonna just. I'm gonna write them in your phone, okay? And then you just. We'll just. We'll meet here next week, and we're gonna work it out. And we're gonna work it out.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

All right.

[John Lovett]

All right.

[Mark Duplass]

I love you.

[X Mayo]

No, no, Mark, he's great. No, clap it up again for him. He's so humble and sweet, and you're like. You're a legend. I feel like an idiot. And, yeah, I regret that the audience

[John Lovett]

we felt should have a second thought about failing to appreciate the Jeopardy Thing. And then I have a second thought for not following up with even A little bit about Celebrity Jeopardy. He said, I was on Celebrity Jeopardy. And I said wow. And then moved on.

[Mark Duplass]

You didn't say wow?

[John Lovett]

I didn't say wow.

[Mark Duplass]

You said nothing.

[John Lovett]

I said nothing. I just went, huh. Just. I just sort of did.

[Mark Duplass]

Give me your phone. I'm gonna put that in there too.

[X Mayo]

And then he just got back to opening them hips. He just got there. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Got. You gotta work at it.

[X Mayo]

You gotta open him.

[John Lovett]

Hey, do you have any regrets, Mark,

[Mark Duplass]

do paws that I didn't sit like this.

[John Lovett]

It's comfortable, right?

[Mark Duplass]

The whole show.

[John Lovett]

It's nice.

[Mark Duplass]

It's not comfortable.

[John Lovett]

Really.

[Mark Duplass]

Do you have your fashion woman's name for me? Because I need to work this.

[X Mayo]

Yes, Charlene. She's in Studio City.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[X Mayo]

She's phenomenal. Great work you out.

[John Lovett]

I need it because one other regret is I shouldn't show people my gate.

[X Mayo]

Your what?

[John Lovett]

My gate. My strange walk. My strange disconcerting way of moving through the world. I sometimes feel like.

[X Mayo]

Too hard on yourself?

[John Lovett]

Nah, I could be harder. But you know what I've noticed? You know what I think sometimes? I. I think, what if in the simulation, the walk that I was assigned was accidentally taken from that part of the Scorsese movie that he filmed backwards and then ran it forwards? Because sometimes I think, what if you run the tape of me walking?

[Mark Duplass]

Oh, yeah.

[John Lovett]

In reverse, it actually looks more normal. You know what I'm saying?

[Mark Duplass]

Listen, some walks, you can only go up from where it is, Right? I think. I think you're. I think that's what. I think that's what your walk is. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Any regrets for you, Mark?

[Mark Duplass]

Any regrets for me

[John Lovett]

just.

[Mark Duplass]

Just coming here? Yeah. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[X Mayo]

Oh, my God. Mr. Duplass, I. I had to burst

[Mark Duplass]

that beautiful bubble that you painted me in in front of people, you know?

[John Lovett]

Yeah. He's can't look.

[Mark Duplass]

I think he's a nice guy.

[John Lovett]

All of a sudden, people start taking advantage. He's got to have some edge. He's got to have some hardness to him. This is a tough town, you know what I mean? He can't be known as a sweetheart that'll just. Someone doesn't recognize him and he just eats it like a little bitch. He's gotta be tough. He's gotta be tough. How dare you? I'm Mark Duplass, dammit. This is my town. This is my Duplass. This is Mark Duplass City.

[X Mayo]

No, John, when I first saw you, I was like, no. When my Adrian first was like, hey, you should do this show. And I'm like, I've heard about it so much, and I know so many comedian homies that have done it. And when I looked and I was like, this is. Is like a sweet, sweet, gay Cory Matthews. You know, like, you were like, it's like boy meets world, but gay. So better, right? Gay is better.

[Mark Duplass]

I was thinking gay Chris Matthews, but they both work. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Lovett]

Meanest thing anyone's ever said to me in a sweet way.

[X Mayo]

And you here, you're just having your little potty mouth. And I'm very excited. It was a surprise for me. Cause I sometimes clack it, clack it, clock it.

[Mark Duplass]

Yep.

[X Mayo]

It was a surprise for me because I thought you were just gonna be like this, like, sweet, sweet boy. And I'm like, should I cuss? Should I not? I'm like, oh, we can fucking go to town. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

You learned that the sweet, sweet white boys got a little something on them.

[X Mayo]

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

[Mark Duplass]

You're in a sandwich right now.

[X Mayo]

I'm in a lot. Yeah. I would like. Oh, I am. And I'm loving this sandwich. Yes. I'm clearly the Patty. But, yeah, I love this show. I would love to come back. And I think that you're an amazing.

[John Lovett]

And that's our show. And we're back. Thank you to mark duplass and ex. They're 125 days until the midterms. Thank you both. That was so awesome. We'll be back next Wednesday with Dana Gould and alana Eubach. Happy 4th of July and have a great weekend. Celebration or leave. It is a cricket media production. Our show is produced by kendra james, bill mcgrath, kelsey gante and me, john lovett. Our production team includes hallie kiefer, sarah lazarus, raman borsalino, peter miller, david toltz, claudia shang, jay banks, gavin purcell, and matt de gro. And our staff is proudly unionized with the writers guild of america east.

[Mark Duplass]

This episode sponsored by Maximus Tribe. You train, you track, you eat. Right? Right? But if you're over 40, you've felt it. The results don't match the effort anymore. That's not willpower.

[John Lovett]

It's biology.

[Mark Duplass]

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[John Lovett]

that's maximustribe.com in moments like these, it's

[X Mayo]

easy to feel overwhelmed and even easier to feel powerless. But we are neither. I'm Stacey Abrams, and on my podcast, Assembly Required, I take on each executive action, legislative battle, and breaking news moment by asking three questions. What's really happening? What can we do about it? And how do we keep going together? This is a space for clarity, strategy and hope rooted in action, not denial. New episodes of Assembly Required Drop Tuesdays. Tune in wherever you get your podcast and on YouTube.