Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Gutfeld

Summary

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Lovett or Leave It – "Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Gutfeld"

Date: September 20, 2025
Host: Jon Lovett (Crooked Media)
Guests: Michaela Watkins, Colton Dunn
Location: Dynasty Typewriter, Los Angeles

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Episode Overview

This episode kicks off the new season of Lovett or Leave It with Jon Lovett breaking down the week's absurd and troubling news, particularly the fallout from conservative influencer Charlie Kirk's assassination, the subsequent political and media reactions, and attacks on free speech. Lovett is joined by actor-comedian Michaela Watkins and actor-writer Colton Dunn for candid and comedic conversation on everything from trash TV to Hollywood labor and the challenges of activism in the streaming age. The episode closes with a round of affectionate tributes to living legends, emphasizing the need to celebrate icons while they're still with us.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Week’s News: Political Violence, Free Speech, and Media Crackdowns

(00:00–16:35)

• Charlie Kirk's Murder and Political Fallout:

  • Lovett opens with biting satire on Trump and Melania’s UK trip, Trump’s literary name-drops, and the distinctions (or lack thereof) he draws between thinkers like Tolkien, Shakespeare, and Orwell.
  • Shifts to the aftermath of Charlie Kirk’s death, dissecting how it has spurred renewed calls for a crackdown on dissent and vigilantism against “hate speech.” Notable conservatives like Stephen Miller and JD Vance are lampooned for advocating aggressive government action.
    • "With God as my witness, we are going to use every resource… to identify, disrupt, dismantle and destroy these networks and make America safe again for the American people. It will happen, and we will do it in Charlie's name." — Stephen Miller via Lovett (06:32)
  • Lovett urges the left to acknowledge the reality if political violence emerges from either side, but rejects collective blame tactics from the right.
    • "To do anything other than scream from the rooftops that this person does not speak for us is to act just a little bit like you've internalized the right's logic.” — Jon Lovett (06:20)
  • Critiques Attorney General Pam Bondi for over-broad “hate speech” crusades, later narrowed after criticism. Political absurdities are highlighted: hypotheticals about forced cake baking with Kirk’s image, radical bakers, etc.

• The Kimmel Precedent and FCC Threats:

  • Recaps how Jimmy Kimmel’s late-night show was taken off the air after FCC Chair Brendan Carr threatened action over on-air comments regarding Kirk’s death. Corporate cowardice leads affiliates to pre-empt Kimmel and even demand public penance.

    • "We can do this the easy way or the hard way." — Brendan Carr (12:31)

  • Lovett skewers both right-wing overreach and media conglomerates for spinelessness—"corporate cowardice on an absolutely mind-boggling scale” (42:16).

  • Satirical previews are offered of imaginary reactionary ABC programming, lampooning the dumbing down and politicization of network television.

2. Trash TV, Pop Culture, and the Hollywood Hustle

(19:09–35:19)

• Defending 'Hunting Wives':

  • Michaela Watkins admits to a complicated relationship with the Netflix hit “Hunting Wives”—a trashy, MAGA-laden, sex-filled drama about Texas wives—which she ultimately defends for its acting and guilty-pleasure appeal:
    • “Maybe you come for the hype about it and the tatas, but you stay for the really quality acting with really questionable material.” — Michaela Watkins (25:18)

• Brain Candy Shows:

  • Colton Dunn reveals his go-to escapist fare is “Emma Cruises” on YouTube, a British woman’s cruise review channel with a special focus on Diet Coke availability.
    • “Her big thing is whether or not they have Diet Coke on the cruise. She’s a big Diet Coke fan…She does not like fountain Diet Coke. She only wants Diet Coke from the bottle." — Colton Dunn (25:34)

• Wigs and Production Gripes:

  • An extended, tongue-in-cheek discussion of the bad wigs on “Hunting Wives” becomes a larger reflection on TV budgets, the shifting entertainment landscape, morale-killing labor climates, and the experience of actors in streaming-era productions.

• Coping with Political Despair:

  • Lovett channels the anxiety many listeners feel about U.S. politics and culture, expressing his own through recurring “spiky dreams” and comic descriptions of nighttime panic.

3. Culture Wars, Protest, and the Limits of Boycotts

(41:08–45:37)

• Should We Boycott Hulu/Disney?
  • As streaming services bend to political pressure, Lovett ponders: should liberals mount a serious, coordinated boycott? Guests debate the efficacy.
    • "If we're going to say, all right, this is the place. We're drawing the line. We're all going to cancel Disney. We're all going to cancel Hulu. It has to be both clear, serious. It has to actually have a goal.” — Jon Lovett (43:34)
  • Colton argues that cancellations directly hit streamers where it hurts, while Lovett cautions that success depends on focus and achievable demands.

4. Comedy Game: "Was I In This?"

(36:52–54:26)

• A recurring segment where Lovett quizzes guests on whether they were in various shows/movies—exposing obscure IMDb credits, cracking jokes about careers, and swapping behind-the-scenes stories (e.g., James Gandolfini anecdotes, hormone patches, and TV hair transplants).

5. Giving Living Legends Their Flowers

(56:37–66:52)

• Tributes to Hollywood Icons:

  • Inspired by the death of Robert Redford, the panel spins a “wheel” to celebrate still-living nonagenarians:

  • Shirley MacLaine:

    • Watkins shares near-miss stories of working with her and celebrates her enduring iconoclasm.
      • “She was never just… What's his face's brother Warren’s. She was her own whole damn thing.” — Michaela Watkins (60:17)

  • Dick Van Dyke:

    • Colton and Lovett salute his comedy legacy, lack of scandal, and universal appeal.
      • “Guy made tripping over an ottoman an icon.” — John Lovett (62:30)
      • “To rock the name Dick and like have it work. Never even connects with… And Dyke. He’s got it all in there.” — Colton Dunn (62:52)

  • Mel Brooks:

    • Lovett celebrates his unique combination of funny, positive, and Jewish sensibilities, recalling old Hollywood stories and the anticipation for “Spaceballs 2.”
      • “It’s a really funny, positive Jewish comedian. Wow, that’s a triple threat… Joyous, joyous.” — Jon Lovett (64:22)
    • Watkins shares having done a game show with Brooks and Cloris Leachman’s notorious on-set hijinks.

  • Panel reflects on Redford’s legacy—his roles, influence, and enduring “smoke show” status.

    • “He’s so hot it’s disturbing. Nobody should be.” — Michaela Watkins (65:49)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Political Violence:

  • “To do anything other than scream from the rooftops that this person does not speak for us is to act just a little bit like you've internalized the right's logic.” — Jon Lovett (06:20)

• On Corporate Cowardice/Free Speech:

  • "Corporate cowardice on an absolutely mind-boggling scale. Just people giving the administration rights it actually couldn't take, giving it power it couldn't seize and would never be able to win in court." — Jon Lovett (42:16)

• On Boycotts:

  • “Once you take yourself out of there, their whole business model is to figure out how to get you back.” — Colton Dunn (43:04)

• On ‘Trash’ TV:

  • “Maybe you come for the hype about it and the tatas, but you stay for the really quality acting with really questionable material.” — Michaela Watkins (25:18)

• On Anxiety and Politics:

  • “The eyes go down, and I'll try to take this thing down with a big old Xanax. Just a good old chemical… But the dreams, the spiky dreams, the anxiety, the points push through the cotton of the Xanax, poke through into the open air.” — Jon Lovett (45:11)

• Celebrating the Living:

  • “Why wait to have the feelings when they're gone?” — Jon Lovett (58:50)
  • “It’s a really funny, positive Jewish comedian. Wow, that’s a triple threat… Joyous, joyous.” — Jon Lovett (64:22)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–01:19: Opening sponsor/FFRF plug and Lovett’s intro
• 01:20–16:35: Weekly news — Trump, Kirk’s murder, right-wing reactions, FCC-Kimmel saga
• 19:09–30:00: Comedy roundtable with guests, defending “Hunting Wives,” trash TV, bad wigs
• 30:01–35:19: Cultural snacking, hair transplants, Emmy speeches, political free speech debate
• 36:52–54:26: Game segment – “Was I In This?” (TV/film trivia and behind-the-scenes)
• 56:37–66:52: Celebratory “Giving Living Legends Their Flowers” and Robert Redford tribute

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Tone and Language

The episode blends sharp satire, comic exasperation, cultural critique, and personal candor. Lovett maintains his trademark blend of earnest liberal anxiety and punchy, sometimes profane one-liners, with guests leaning warmly into self-deprecation and observational comedy. Jokes are often meta, with extended set-ups and audience/guest interplay reminiscent of live variety theater.

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Summary for the Uninitiated

This episode is a must-listen for those seeking insight into the current state of U.S. media, free speech, and the escalated culture wars, all filtered through sharp comedic lens. It’s also an affectionate showcase of the messiness, humor, and solidarity found in both pop culture and political resistance—a place where trashy TV, personal anxieties, and robust debate all have a seat in the conversation.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

Love or leave it is brought to you by the Freedom From Religion Foundation. The First Amendment protects all of our rights to practice whatever faith we have or the right to not have any faith at all. And yet what we see is a lot of politicians trying to impose their worldview and their religion on everybody. That includes in the public schools. We've seen that in Louisiana with a law around school chaplains and putting 10 commandments in the classroom. That's currently held up in court, though we have no idea what the Supreme Court will do. And so if you believe that people should be free to practice whatever religion they want without the government impinging on it or free to not practice any religion at all, that's where the Freedom from Religion foundation comes in. To help do what? A lot of lawmakers aren't defending the First Amendment. They sue, they win. And they're making sure kids can focus on science class and that public schools aren't turned into religious Sunday Schools. Go to FFRF US School or text Love It. That's L O V E T T to 511511. Visit FFRF at FFRF US School or text L O V E t t to 511511. Because if I'm going to live by the Ten Commandments, I'm going to do it on private property, not government property. That's where I do all my coveting, John. That's where I do all my.

[Colton Dunn]

That's where you break all your other commandments.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. That's where I take the Lord's name in vain the most. Remember, text love it to 511-511- or go to FFRF US School or text L O V e T T to 511-511-today. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love it or leave it live from Dynasty Typewriter. We have got a great show for you tonight. Michaela Watkins is here. Colton Dunn is here. And they'll both ask two important questions. Was I in this? And was it worth it? Then we'll all head to the wheel to pay tribute to some of our favorite stars of yore. But first, let's get into it. What a week. On Tuesday, Donald Trump and his legal wife, Melania Trump went across the pond to the world's second most famous island of pedophiles, Great Britain. The first lady and worst man met with King Charles and Queen Camilla Windsor, where Melania debuted a brand new look for those at home. She's wearing a big purple hat that often obscured her face completely. On loan from the queen's private Spirit Halloween collection. It's obviously a joke. It's from Eileen Fisher's new collab with David Cronenberg. While at Windsor, Trump shared some poignant remarks at a state dinner. I believe we're the hottest country anywhere in the world. In fact, nobody's even questioning it. But we owe so much of that to you and the footing that you gave us when we started. King Charles spit out soup when he heard that, and he wasn't even having soup. That's just what's in British people's mouths. Trump also took the opportunity to celebrate some of the UK's best. Shakespeare and Dickens and Tolkien. Lewis, Orwell and Kipling. Incredible people. Unbelievable. People like we have rarely seen before. Probably won't see again. I'll defend him when he's right, but would he do the same for me? And I know I'll get shit for this, but I'll say it. Tolkien in the same league as Shakespeare and Orwell? Oh, sure, you fucking dweebs. Oh, really? Oh, really? You think that's right? You think that's right? Shakespeare painted with the English language in ways previously unimaginable. Orwell with rigor and clarity, helping us to understand the tools by which we obliterate our own humanity. And then you have Tolkien, who taught us that the little ones have hair on their feet and eat a lot of sandwiches, but in a language he made up. Deal with it. Cancel me, Brendan Carr. I hate the Lord of the Rings. Fucking dog shit. Ooh, ooh, ooh. The ring makes you invisible, but it also does other stuff. The little ones are sweet. The tall ones are kinda mean. Which are the Jews in Lord of the Rings. Rudyard Kipling was perfect, though. No notes. He was racist. He was. Wrote some really racist stuff, you know, and the original text of the Jungle Book is not so sweet. It wasn't just. It wasn't just the pomp and circumstance Trump enjoyed about monarchy. For back at home, his administration began to lay out how, in the wake of Charlie Kirk's gruesome murder, the government would begin a wider crackdown on dissent. Here was Stephen Miller earlier this week. With God as my witness, we are going to use every resource we have at the Department of Justice, Homeland Security and throughout this government to identify, disrupt, dismantle and destroy these networks and make America safe again for the American people. It will happen, and we will do it in Charlie's name. As of this recording, we have seen no evidence to suggest that Kirk's murderer wasn't acting alone. According to the transcript released as part of the investigation. He may have been motivated by his love for a trans person, which fills me with an incredible amount of rage. Because whatever we learn in the coming days, this guy was too demented or stupid to appreciate the consequences of his actions, which orphaned two children and fueled a crackdown while making life worse for every trans person in America, not least of whom is the person he was texting and claiming to love, who, according to Utah's Republican governor, had no idea what Robinson was planning and has been cooperating fully. And I'll say here, as we learn more, we should not be the least bit reluctant to confront the truth of this killer's motivations. If the shooter wanted to kill Charlie Kirk for being right wing or holding anti Trump trans views, then we should be as appalled and unabashed in acknowledging that as when political violence targets the left. We've seen voice, yes, because we've seen voices on the right smear half the country for this killing, claiming this was a war of the left. But that is false. And to do anything other than scream from the rooftops that this person does not speak for us is to act just a little bit like you've internalized the right's logic. JD Vance went further in that conversation with Stephen Miller. So when you see someone celebrating Charlie's murder, call them out in hell. Call their employer. But JD There are thousands of people making gross jokes on the Internet all the time. There are too many. How can we make a difference? Ah, said Vance, picking up a starfish and getting it fired from its job as a community college administrator. It made a difference to this one. The number of people who understood that analogy. And that story was not as many in the meeting as I wanted it to be. How many people know the starfish thing that's so interesting? How many people know it like it's the back of your hand? Feel like you've heard it a million times, and how many you've never heard that before in your life? Wow. So there's a mother and daughter walking down the shore and the mother and the daughter starts looking around like all these starfish are going to die. What are we gonna do? We can't help them all. And the mother picks one up and throws it in the ocean and says it made a difference to that one. Huh? Right. Anyway, Attorney General Pam Bondi promised to do more than just get you fired for offensive comments on Katie Miller's podcast earlier this week.

[Michaela Watkins]

There's free speech and then there's hate speech, and there is no place Especially now, especially after what happened to Charlie. In our society, we will absolutely target you, go after you. If you are targeting anyone with hate speech.

[John Lovett]

Are you a black square on Instagram in June of 2020? Because I think you're caught up in the moment and not really helping anybody. Sure. Pam Bondi also said this to Fox News and employers.

[Michaela Watkins]

You have an obligation to get rid of people. You need to look at people who are saying horrible things and they shouldn't be working with you. Businesses cannot discriminate.

[John Lovett]

If you want to go in and.

[Michaela Watkins]

Print posters with Charlie's pictures on them for a vigil, you have to let them do that.

[John Lovett]

We can prosecute you for that. No, you can't. You have to print posters. What's next? Demanding a baker bake a cake with Charlie's picture on it? Demanding a baker bake a cake for your special event honoring Charlie Kirk. And then the baker objects because he's gay, but also way more extreme than Charlie Kirk ever was. Forcing this paranoid, anti Semitic, gay baker to bake a cake that doesn't agree with his politics. And there are these starfish all over the place. Bondi actually faced enough blowback for her comments from the right that she walked it back, restricting her view to hate speech that contains threats. But King Baby wasn't so troubled. And what do you think Pam Bondi saying she's gonna go after hate speech? Is that. I mean, a lot of people, a lot of your allies say hate speech is free speech. She'd probably go after people like you.

[Colton Dunn]

Because you treat me so unfairly and.

[John Lovett]

Say you have a lot of hate in your heart. Maybe you'll come after ABC. Well, ABC paid me $16 million recently for a form of hate speech. Right. Your company paid me $16 million for a form of hate speech. So maybe they'll have to go after you. Please, no. Take this instead, said Disney's panic lawyers pushing a confused George Stephanopoulos out of a Suburban. But. But cooler heads soon prevailed. Like Missouri Senator Eric Schmidt.

[Colton Dunn]

There can be no unity between good and evil.

[John Lovett]

Somebody has to win this thing, and as a country, we have to absolutely reject it. And don't tell me it's both sides. This system lurks behind every radical leftist movement in our nation today. The George Soros empire has financed a.

[Colton Dunn]

Vast ecosystem of radicals.

[John Lovett]

Yet here I am every week, unequivocally denouncing political violence and trying to find new and funny ways to describe Trump's hands for a pretty good audience of liberals who can barely organize the Totes Piling up in their closets, let alone a vast radical empire. We have never, none of us ever, ever needed more than two totes, ever. I cannot think of an occasion in my life where any of us have ever needed more than two totes. Because if you ever need three totes, you go to duffel and tote. You never need more than two totes. And yet to get rid of a tote is unthinkable. And then it was Jimmy Kimmel's turn in the barrel. After the Kirk murder, Kimmel said this.

[Colton Dunn]

We're like the rest of the country. We're still trying to wrap our heads around the senseless murder of the popular podcaster and conservative activist Charlie Kirk yesterday, whose death has amplified our anger, our differences. And I've seen a lot of extraordinarily vile responses to this from both sides of the political spectrum. Some people are cheering this, which is something I won't ever understand.

[John Lovett]

You get a job on a game show as the goofy everyman to make Ben Stein seem even weirder. Next thing you know, you're trying to deftly handle a political assassination on your late night comedy program. But he did it. But then on Monday, he said this.

[Colton Dunn]

We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.

[John Lovett]

Because there was evidence by Monday that the killer, while growing up in a Republican home, was not MAGA conservatives already hostile toward Kimmel let rip. On Wednesday, FCC chair and guy who would definitely shut down the containment grid and then blame the Ghostbusters for the consequences, Brendan Carr issued an ultimatum. Frankly, when you see stuff like this, I mean, look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. As a rule, if you are a federal regulator and you sound like Judge Doom holding a terrified shoe over a barrel of dip, you are not the hero in this story. And by the way, lest there be any doubt, Carr didn't leave it at that ominous but vague warning that he was using the leverage over licensing to threaten a specific show and a specific disfavored comedian. Here's what he said next. These companies can find ways to change.

[Colton Dunn]

Conduct to take action, frankly, on Kimmel.

[John Lovett]

Or, you know, there's going to be.

[Colton Dunn]

Additional work for the FCC ahead.

[John Lovett]

And he described what that work was because it included the possibility of fines or license revocation within hours. And ABC announced that Jimmy Kimmel live would be preempted indefinitely, suspending the show after Nexstar, owner of 28 ABC affiliates, said it wouldn't air Kimmel. It is with a heavy heart that I say Jimmy Kimmel, welcome to podcasting. In a statement, nexstar criticized Kimmel's comments and promised to replace the show with other programming in its ABC affiliated markets. Worth noting, nexstar is currently pursuing a merger that requires approval by the fcc. Once they acquire their largest rival, Tegna, it will own 265 stations in 44 states, which reaches 80% of American households. Look, sometimes a bad thing has to be done in the service of an even worse thing. Anyway, I'm looking forward to a whole bunch of Republican friendly comedies on ABC with new shows like the Big Bang Theory is Wrong, Maude Keeps the baby Fresh off and Right Back on the Boat. Abbott Charter elementary, Mork and Mindy and Ice, Perfect Strangers and ice and Roseanne. Plus stay tuned for ABC's upcoming miniseries Roots 2. Not so bad. And hey, Brennan Carr, if it's cinema you're after, Disney has got you covered with live action. Mulan, but she's a girl the whole time and leaves the fighting to the men starring Sydney Sweeney. Luca too. Luca reels in a wife Bambi from the hunter's point of view and and I'm excited for this one. White and Kanto Trump wrote about it on Truth Social saying great news for America. The Ratings Challenge Jimmy Kimmel show is canceled. Congratulations to ABC for finally having the courage to do what had to be done. Kimmel had zero talent and worse ratings than even Colbert, if that's even possible. That leaves Jimmy and Seth, two total losers on fake news NBC. Their ratings are also horrible. Do it, NBC. Do it like he's trying to get Don Langley to chug a beer. And then on the plane he suggested to reporters that these companies lose their license for being, in his words, 97% against him. This is a classic in the genre of Trump, which is a bunch of these intellectual Zambonis conservatives who try to figure out a way to defend Trump's actions, spent the day explaining that this was really about Kimmel's inaccuracy and how it was actually a business decision, and that while Carr's comments may have been in some way unwise or unhelpful, it was not a violation of the First Amendment because it was a decision by the affiliates. And then Trump is like two down, two to go, bitches. They're all against me. Fuck em up. NBC Sinclair Broadcasting Group also pulled Kimmel from their ABC stations. They demanded Kimmel apologize. They demanded he donate to Kirk's nonprofit Turning Point usa and announced that a Charlie Kirk in Memoriam special with will air during Kimmel's time slot on Friday. Wow. A special tribute on every station. They'll probably do this for me when I go, said Joe Biden, no one having the heart to tell him that they might not even break into commercial. And finally this week, a mom of two set a Guinness World record for longest barefoot run on Lego bricks. When reached for comment, the woman said, ow, my feet. That's it. It's a dark week of news. You want a serious close? That's it. Branding on the fucking Lego joke. Deal with it. Coming up next, it's Mikaela Watkins and Colton Dunn. Hey, don't go anywhere.

[Colton Dunn]

There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.

[John Lovett]

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[Colton Dunn]

That'S we're sticklers for the Farm bill.

[John Lovett]

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[Announcer]

The Golden Bachelor is back on Wednesday. This season, our leading man is 66 year old Mel Owens, father of two and former NFL star looking for his second chance at love. And the women are in a league of their own. Ranging in age from 59 to 77, these fearless women are hoping to make a connection with Mel and prove that you're never too old to fall in love. The Golden Bachelor season premiere Wednesday at 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

[John Lovett]

And we're back. Please welcome to the stage two people I'd like to see in a steamy Netflix drama about bisexual Texas socialites. It's Mikaela Watkins and Colton Dunn. Hi. Welcome. Good to see you. Hi.

[Michaela Watkins]

Hi, hi, hi.

[John Lovett]

Thank you both for being here. Boy, it's lovely to see you.

[Michaela Watkins]

It's great to see you.

[John Lovett]

Mikayla.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

You confess to me that you look like the show Hunting Wives.

[Michaela Watkins]

Okay, you know what? That was setting confidence. No, like is an interesting word.

[John Lovett]

Is it?

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah, it's complicated. I have a complicated relationship with this show, but what I have to say about this show is this show got me thinking a lot about the show because everything else I don't wanna think about. And so I realized I need to defend this show. And not because I like it, but because I think it's worthy of defense.

[John Lovett]

Interesting. So it's more of an intellectual exercise. Yes. But you watch every episode.

[Michaela Watkins]

I sure do. It's been the butt of a lot.

[John Lovett]

Of jokes because it stars women.

[Michaela Watkins]

It's. Well, it starts women in, you know, and they talk about the wigs and they, you know, it's women, it's MAGA women, It's MAGA women having sex with each other and it's. Oh, now you're interested.

[John Lovett]

Okay, yeah. That's what these freaks before you were like, by the way. That's what these freaks are putting in their porn orb searches. Exactly.

[Colton Dunn]

Girl on girl maga.

[John Lovett]

Girl maga. Yeah, that's right.

[Michaela Watkins]

They're not laughing because it's true.

[Colton Dunn]

I nailed it.

[Michaela Watkins]

But anyway, so it stars Malin Ackerman, who is a wonderful, wonderful human being. A great actress, a huge talent, and just generally a light. You know when you see somebody and you're like, oh, I feel better. Everything's gonna be fine. That's how it is to be around people from Sweden. Truly. And so I'm watching this, and I'm like, molly, kind of, you know, like, in the best way. What were you thinking? And what I realized with each actress that was coming on the show. Okay, let's be honest, and I can say this to Malin. The show is trashy. It's trash. It's brain candy. It's like what reality shows wish they were.

[Colton Dunn]

This is you defending the show.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah, 100%. Because if I don't tell you the truth, you're gonna not believe me later when I say the important thing, which.

[John Lovett]

Is a lesson for Democrats that we're living in the wreckage of. Yep.

[Michaela Watkins]

Which is that these actors have been done real dirty by their networks because the acting climate right now is pretty. It's chilly, it's brisk. There's just not a ton of work right now. And so it took, like, this show that was meant to be on Starz Network that. Raise your hand if you have a Starz subscription. Nobody. Not one. So it was meant to go there. They go on that show, they get paid a nice sum. They go to Georgia, they shoot this thing. They take their clothes off, they put a lot of bronzer on, and then they. They tell their agents, is this going to ruin my brand? I don't know if this is true. I've never discussed this with Malin, but this is my. This is. When I say I think about it a lot, this is what I'm thinking about. They say, oh, just do this job. Because honestly, in this climate, if you don't have stars, you're never gonna see it. A lot of people, like, you know who I use as my. As sort of my beacon of, like, should I do this? I always go back to, oh, what's her name from. Okay, she's. She's. She was on West Wing. She's tall.

[John Lovett]

Alison Janney.

[Michaela Watkins]

Thank you. I always. Alison Janney is, like, the career that I want. She doesn't say no to anything. And you only remember the great stuff that she's done. And she's done a lot of, like, really cruddy things not in life and shows. And so I think, like, okay, we're now in that time where you can do something stupid. Nobody's gonna see it, and you're fine, and then you can go back and do your Oscar stuff. So I think they got these actors. They put it on Starz. Starz at the very last minute says, we're not gonna air this. So Netflix picks it up, and it Becomes the number one watched show. So now they're in bronze or in.

[Colton Dunn]

Georgia, you know, that's their brand now.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

I don't know that I've ever met an actor who's like, God, I wish this wasn't the number one show. It would be a first. It's exciting. I mean, maybe they wish they hadn't showed, you know, tatas, but whatever. Number one. Number one with Tatas is better than number 30. No Tatas.

[Michaela Watkins]

Listen. They've got number one Tatas.

[John Lovett]

Number one Tatas.

[Michaela Watkins]

They are great. They are beautiful women and they're great actors. So I start watching this thing, you know, to support, because I'm kind of curious, because there's a lot of chatter about it and because I happen to be in Atlanta for two weeks in a hotel room with no friends. So I start watching it and I'm like, oh, boy. And then the acting, you guys, is good because they have really good actors. They have great actors. All the actresses on it are amazing. And I hope if any of them are listening to this, they stay listening to it long enough to know that. That they are so good. Like, maybe you come for the hype about it and the tatas, but you stay for the really quality acting with really questionable material.

[John Lovett]

I mean, it seems like you found a trashy show that you love and you built a cathedral of ideas to sit inside it to appreciate the show.

[Michaela Watkins]

Is that bad?

[John Lovett]

No, it's totally fine. I come to. So, Colton, do you have a. Do you have a trashy show that you watch? A kind of brain. A brain escape show?

[Colton Dunn]

Little brain rot?

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

Emma Cruises on YouTube. It's a cruise tube show. And Emma goes on different cruises. She gives you her review.

[Michaela Watkins]

Emma who?

[Colton Dunn]

This lady named Emma. She's this British lady. And she's like, all right, I'm on another cruise today. And she's. I'm off, you know, on another holiday. And she like, kind of reviews the room and all that kind of stuff. But her big thing. Her big thing is whether or not they have Diet Coke on the cruise. She's a big Diet Coke fan. And here's the. Here's the thing. And some of you guys maybe. Maybe some of you understand it. I didn't get. A lot of people who watch it don't get it. She does not like fountain Diet Coke. She only wants Diet Coke from the bottle.

[John Lovett]

Oh, well, like glass bottle, I get. I mean, there's something about.

[Colton Dunn]

No, it's like plastic bottle.

[John Lovett]

Dog shit. That's dog shit. There's an interesting Thing about the fountain. Because the question is, do you want to fail while daring greatly, or do you want to sit in the safety of the can? Cause you know what you're gonna get in the can.

[Michaela Watkins]

Fountain on a core, it's a ratio.

[John Lovett]

It's luck and happenstance.

[Colton Dunn]

But when you strike it right. Oh, my God, that's so good.

[Michaela Watkins]

Sometimes if you maybe that salt air gets somehow chemically dances with the syrup and the soda water part, and then you could have a fail or you could have victory.

[John Lovett]

That's right.

[Colton Dunn]

Taste of the ocean.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah. It's like they say pizza in New York tastes better because of the water.

[Colton Dunn]

Exactly. That's why the fountain. Drinks on a boat tastes great because of the water. Because of the water.

[Michaela Watkins]

The distilled water that's in there in.

[Colton Dunn]

A giant steel tank in the bottom.

[John Lovett]

In their lives, in the blissful ignorance of what's going on inside of these soda guns. These soda guns. Like, the number of people I see that wouldn't eat a cookie off the floor that are like, diet Coke, please. And just trusting God in the end of that fucking nozzle. Are you insane?

[Colton Dunn]

You're trusting the one guy who finishes the night and takes it apart and is supposed to wipe it out nice and clean.

[John Lovett]

Think about how you're supposed to take care of your coffee maker at home.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And that's just for you, by you. And maybe you do better than if it was your job.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

But you don't do great. No, you do good enough. And you pray that it's fine. And if it starts to taste weird, you fix it.

[Michaela Watkins]

You get different coffee.

[John Lovett]

I never drank that coffee even once. And it was the only coffee you made for strangers. You can eat the cookie off the floor.

[Michaela Watkins]

The inversion is Guinness. Right? People don't want it in the can. They want it on tap. Like, you can get a bad batch, though. I mean, a bad nitrous amount. Guys, can we go back to hunting waters?

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah, let's get back to. I don't know what it is. Oh, can I get a summary of what?

[Michaela Watkins]

It's a reality show meets a soap opera.

[John Lovett]

The drama with reality show vibes and paces.

[Michaela Watkins]

It's got reality. Everybody is. Everybody is gorgeous. Everybody is hot. There's drama. Somebody's like. But. But it's all takes place in Texas.

[John Lovett]

Here's the wig Melan Ackerman wears at the beginning of the show.

[Michaela Watkins]

Okay. Now.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, is this the show that I saw, like the. I saw a hairstylist on social media who was upset about production leaving California because of how bad the wigs are. And they were like, if they would have just shot this show in la, the wigs would all be better.

[Michaela Watkins]

Wigs are expensive. So that's the first thing I'm gonna say.

[John Lovett]

Let's go to wig number two.

[Michaela Watkins]

This budget is not good, but also goo. So here's the thing. If you know Marlon and you know what her actual hair looks like, she would never pass. She would always look like a gorgeous. A gorgeous Swedish supermodel. But here she has to be a kind of like Texas. A Texas girl knows how to shoot a gun and all that. And so I understand why they had to wig her now. Do you watch, like, Fox News? Do you see what the hair on there looks like? Like, it does not look real. I think this is actually a wonderful rendition.

[John Lovett]

Oh, that's an interesting take, that. It's meant to convey a certain inauthenticity. And it's not something well done poorly, it's something poor done well. Colton. Yeah?

[Colton Dunn]

You gonna show me a wig?

[John Lovett]

No. Oh, okay. I didn't do wig. I don't have a wig on. I would have, but then I got a hair transplant and then I got two more. I meant three.

[Michaela Watkins]

Was it?

[Colton Dunn]

Wait, where else?

[John Lovett]

No, no, all on the head. Oh. Oh, what?

[Michaela Watkins]

Or did you mean for your friends? I got one and then they gave me two free.

[John Lovett]

Look, look. I wanted a masculine asshole, you know, I felt like I can't be walking around with this feminist. Yeah, it's embarrassing. I wanted to be masculine.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And so the doctor had never done it before. It's the first of its kind.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

They've said, wow, we've gone from the asshole to the head before, but we've never gone down that way. Oh, Mikaela, you're in hacks.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And Hannah Einbinder won the Emmy and she gave a brief but attention grabbing speech. And she stole that from you. That was your speech? Had you won? That was what happened.

[Michaela Watkins]

Honestly, like, hats off to her, really. She said a lot of really wonderful things, but you'll never hear that because the only clip that actually got played and played and played was she said, go, Birds. Fuck.

[John Lovett]

Guys.

[Michaela Watkins]

Free Palestine. And apparently, like, everybody was clutching their pearls after that. And I was like, how are we living in a world where that's the shock? Meanwhile, masked men are roving the streets of LA and everywhere else in this country and kidnapping people and shoving them in vans and breaking up families and putting them in detention camps that, you know, our elected officials are now getting arrested because they're not allowed to go inspect. Like, why is that? Like, I'm talking about, like, Hollywood colleagues, liberals, you know, who are just like, ooh, you know. And so, again, I guess I'm here to defend the ladies. I was like, yes, good. But then Homeland Security actually put out a statement about it, because nothing makes them more upset than millennials winning a prize for a comedy on hbo. And they said something like, what she said was ugly. It's ugly. Be a lady. And then said something like, when violence against ICE officials is up 1,000%, she is, you know, that this little redhead on stage is, like, inciting violence against this marginal group of ice. ICE officials who are so marginalized that really they are the only ones who should be able to receive, you know, free college. That's really it. Because they're so living on the fringes of our society. And I just was like, the way. The gymnastics of twisting that, like. And they do it consistently. They keep stealing really sensible responses to the horrible, evil things that happen in the world and then adapting them and adopting them for themselves as, you know, and just saying, like, you know, antisemitism is way up. You know, Islamophobia is way up. Like, now we're just like, oh, gosh, but let's hold space for the ICE officials, you know, as if they didn't have a choice.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. I mean, it's trolling. You know, it's the same as with Brendan Carr. It's a culture of trolling. Right. And now they troll with power. They use their power to troll, too. Right. Like, Trump is a troll. These people. That's what he's doing when he tells ABC News. Oh, to Jonathan Crowley, like, you have hate in your heart. Maybe I'll come after you. He's. He's trolling. But they also back it up with, like, the force of the state now. Yeah, they are.

[Michaela Watkins]

Exactly.

[Colton Dunn]

Which is why you can't be scared about it, which is why you got. That's how they win. They win by getting all the people to clutch their pearls. This lady says, free Palestine. There's nothing wrong with saying that. If you're out there and you're worried about people from Palestine and you want them to be free, you want them to have a better life, there's nothing wrong with that. And they have, like, created this world where they say, well, if you say that you're anti Semitic. No, you're not. If you say that you're, you know, you're. You're. You're. You're a bad person. No, you're. Not. And you just have to push back 100% on that. And you can't let them scare you. You can't be quiet. You can't go, oh, well, we shouldn't say anything because if you don't, we see what happens when you keep giving them inches.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, that's right.

[Michaela Watkins]

But the birds do not say go birds. I don't like.

[Colton Dunn]

I disagreed with that.

[Michaela Watkins]

Birds are. They are a scourge on everybody. So do not say go birds.

[Colton Dunn]

Those birds are racist.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, racist birds. Wait one second. We are back. Hey, don't go anywhere.

[Colton Dunn]

There's more of love it or leave it coming up.

[John Lovett]

Love it or leave it is brought to you by bilt. Nobody wants to pay rent, but if you have to, Bilt makes it worth it. Bilt is revolutionizing how millions think about paying rent by rewarding their members with points and exclusive benefits around their neighborhood every single month. By paying rent through bilt, you earn flexible points that can be redeemed toward hundreds of hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, your next Lyft ride, and more. But it doesn't stop there. Bilt is about making your entire neighborhood more rewarding. You can dine out at your favorite local restaurants and earn additional points, get VIP treatment at certain fitness studios and enjoy exclusive experiences just for built members every month. Bilt is turning a monthly expense into an opportunity to earn rewards and discover the best that your neighborhood has to offer. Your rent is finally working for you. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home by going to join built dot com. Love it. That's J o I n b I l t dot com. Love it. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you.

[Announcer]

The golden bachelor is back on Wednesday. This season, our leading man is 66 year old Mel Owens, father of two and former NFL star looking for his second chance at love. And the women are in a league of their own. Ranging in age from 59 to 77, these fearless women are home hoping to make a connection with Mel and prove that you're never too old to fall in love. The golden bachelor season premiere Wednesday at 8.7Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

[John Lovett]

All right, we're back. It's time for a classic here at love it or leave it.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, boy.

[John Lovett]

Which is a game we call was I in this? This week we've got a twist. Mikayla and Colton will be playing each other. I'll be chiming in with my amusing bon mots as usual. So let's play was I in this. Yeah.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yay.

[John Lovett]

All right, Colton, you first. Mikaela co starred with Julia Louis Dreyfus in three different projects. Veep, the New Adventures of Old Christine, and the underrated 2013 James Gandolfini Rom com. Enough said.

[Colton Dunn]

Am I trying to figure out if I was in it?

[John Lovett]

No, I hope not. I hope this becomes more of a. That becomes more of a medical thing. Then we ask you to. Were you in this clock you drew? You have to say if it's true or false, Colton. Oh.

[Colton Dunn]

Well, I mean, two of those. I know. So I'm gonna say false.

[John Lovett]

Wrong. All right, Colton, you got points.

[Michaela Watkins]

No points.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Michaela Watkins]

Oh.

[Colton Dunn]

Is that the scoreboard right there?

[John Lovett]

I got. I'm a professional. Yeah. Michaela is any part of you. Oh, wait. Oh, yeah. James Gondolfini.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

That's cool. What was he like?

[Michaela Watkins]

I don't know. I didn't. He was very sweet. He was very sweet. Yeah. But I only did one scene with him.

[John Lovett]

Oh. Did he have that kind of intense charisma the whole time?

[Michaela Watkins]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

That's cool.

[Michaela Watkins]

No, he was more like sweetie pie. Like, you can't believe he was a mob boss.

[Colton Dunn]

I got to hang out with that guy.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Really?

[Colton Dunn]

Years ago, I lived in a house right off Sunset Boulevard. It was across the street from a place called Coach and Horses, which was like a little dive bar.

[Michaela Watkins]

And.

[Colton Dunn]

And he would show up there. And he would show up there really late, and the bartenders all knew him, and then they would close the bar and let him stay. And a couple of times he was like, you. You could stay, too. And we just stay and have a lot of fun with James Gandolfini in a bar on Sunset Boulevard until, like, you know, three, four in the morning.

[John Lovett]

That's cool. Mikayla.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Colton received not one but two Emmy nominations for man tv.

[Michaela Watkins]

What? Fantastic.

[John Lovett]

True or false?

[Michaela Watkins]

True.

[John Lovett]

False.

[Michaela Watkins]

Damn it. Sorry.

[John Lovett]

He wrote for Mad tv and you had an iconic character, Mandongo.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, my God.

[John Lovett]

But he earned two Emmy nominations for his work writing for Key and Peele.

[Michaela Watkins]

Oh, that's true. I was on that. Did you write for me?

[Colton Dunn]

Which. What sketch were you in?

[Michaela Watkins]

I played Mary Magdalene.

[Colton Dunn]

Mary Magdalene. Oh, Mary Magdalene sketch.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

What's.

[Colton Dunn]

What's. What was, like, the gist.

[Michaela Watkins]

Keegan was Jesus. I had to wash his feet.

[Colton Dunn]

Okay. Was it. Was it about him being a pimp or something?

[Michaela Watkins]

It was at his house at 2am.

[Colton Dunn]

Were there any cameras there?

[Michaela Watkins]

Oh, yeah.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Michaela Watkins]

There was at least one cell phone.

[John Lovett]

OK.

[Michaela Watkins]

Sorry.

[John Lovett]

Colton, you worked for MADtv Kroll Show. Key and Peele comedy Bang Bang. That was like a golden age of sketch.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, yeah.

[John Lovett]

Do you think it'll come back?

[Colton Dunn]

You know, I'd like to think so. I'd like to think so that sketch comedy will make a comeback, you know, and then I think Funny or Die is in there with all that stuff, you know, kind of that early Internet days. But, you know, who knows? It all seems like it's short form vertical sketches where people are in the sketches by themselves and they're just talking to each other on different angles on their cell phones. So I think that's the new sketch comedy, Loneliness. Just everyone by themselves.

[John Lovett]

Do you have a favorite character you've played?

[Michaela Watkins]

Do I? Yeah, I do.

[John Lovett]

Who is it?

[Michaela Watkins]

Well, it was a favorite show I did.

[John Lovett]

Favorite show?

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah. Casual.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, yeah.

[Michaela Watkins]

Oh, thank you. Great show smattering. After everybody canceled their Hulu today, I.

[John Lovett]

Don'T know what to do. Cause it's like maybe we'd need to get to the boycott. I don't know what the answer is. Obviously if I did, I would tell you. But fundamentally there's like, obviously there's many problems, but three giant problems. One, anti Democratic authoritarian takeover of our government. Two, corporate cowardice on an absolutely mind boggling scale. Just people giving the administration rights it actually couldn't take, giving it power it couldn't seize and would never be able to win in court. But three, it is very clear that these corporations, anyone making a calculation that is not moral but mercenary and financial and strategic is calculating that we are not a big factor. They're calculating that the tens of millions of Americans, majority of this country that is not only pro freedom expression, but you know, anti Trump aren't powerful and may never have power again. And actually, even if we do gain power, won't make them pay for the decisions they've made to capitulate to this dangerous government. And we got to figure out a way to make clear that both Democrats in power and everyone that's part of this big democratic movement from the far left to the anti Trump right, aren't gonna forget and are worthy of being afraid of. And maybe that will be through and through nonviolent means, through boycott and protest and electoral success, and through our representatives holding people accountable for the decisions they're making right now, but a combination of short term thinking and a lack of imagination and the correct evaluation of current Democratic leadership that we're not people to fear is part of our problem. It's a big problem. And I don't know if boycott's the answer. I don't know how to get to the place where we are seen as a political force worthy of respect. But one way or another, we gotta figure out what that is. Probably should do it quick. I think. Probably should go quick.

[Colton Dunn]

I think canceling your subscription is a great place to start. You know, people didn't wanna do that during the strike. They asked us not to do that back in the day, during the strike specifically. But, you know, after working for a lot of these streamers in shows, all they care about is how many people are subscribed to them. And that's also their motivation is to get new subscribers. So once you take yourself out of there, they. Their whole business model is to figure out how to get you back to get you subscribed.

[John Lovett]

I totally agree with that. I think I. My. My thought is not, oh, boycotts don't work. That's not. I am. What I want to make sure is, you know, this happened on the right. A fair amount. All these hosts were just like, you got a boycott espresso, you got to go. You can't use this. You can't do that. And they were all these different lists of. On the left of places we're supposed to boycott. In my view on this is if we're going to decide, I want us to, like, I don't want us to cry wolf. If we're going to say, all right, this is the place. We're drawing the line. We're all going to cancel Disney. We're all going to cancel Hulu. It has to be both. Clear, serious. It has to actually have a goal. Right? We can't just be like, oh, we're all not using this service forever. Maybe it's Kimmel has to come back on. I don't know what the answer is, but some measure by which we can declare success so that there's some incentive for people to actually respond to our pressure. And by the way, like, you know, it's an unusual thing for our side to set a strategic goal and then through collective action, go about creating the incentives to make it real, rather than what we normally do, which is, you know, bicker and run around. But it's something to consider. Yeah, I'm gonna think about that over this weekend.

[Michaela Watkins]

I feel like that's what it's like to be married to you. Just now, I'm like, good night, honey. Should we watch Hulu? Oh, actually, I canceled it. And then you just say all of that, and then it's like, well, when.

[Colton Dunn]

Is this gonna end? How long will this be canceled? What's the point of all of this.

[Michaela Watkins]

And then at the end of it, your husband goes, okay, so, good night.

[John Lovett]

No, you've gotten pretty close. The good news is I just do fall asleep. I'm pretty tired. I'm pretty tired because I am having pretty intense political stress dreams. So I'll pass out easy. The eyes go down, and I'll try to take this thing down with a big old Xanax. Just. Just a. Just a good old chemical, you know, mallet to the face, you know, just gag out, out, out. But the dreams, the spiky dreams, the bit of the anxiety, the points push through the cotton of the Xanax, poke through into the open air. And then I'm awake. And then I'm awake. And it's night. And it's night. And then you know what else happens?

[Michaela Watkins]

What happens?

[John Lovett]

The fire alarm has a tiny little light. And I would never know that light existed. But for whatever reason, at four in the morning, it is as bright as the sun.

[Michaela Watkins]

Right?

[John Lovett]

As bright as the sun. And it wouldn't bother me any other time. But at 4 in the morning, just over in the corner of the bedroom ceiling, the sun turns on. Gone.

[Michaela Watkins]

It's like an Ingmar Bergman movie.

[John Lovett]

Sun goes on. Gone alone. Dark, dark, dark thoughts. Sun on. Can't sleep. Can't sleep.

[Michaela Watkins]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

Too late for a second pill. Too early to get up. Is that a dog snoring? You bet it is. Is that why I'm awake? No. Now to the third question of our quiz.

[Colton Dunn]

This is a hoot.

[John Lovett]

I'm glad you're both here. It's a weird night. Both Michaela appeared in the Law and SVU episode Ballerina as Birdie Sulloway, a former dancer suspected of pushing her husband out of a window.

[Colton Dunn]

True.

[John Lovett]

That is false. Oh, no, that was Carol Burnett. Mikayla appeared as in Law and Order classic as judge Madeline Bennett.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, really?

[John Lovett]

Who refused to testify against her husband's killer in order to hide her opiate addiction.

[Michaela Watkins]

Right. Well, but it gets even better because it was. You know how they try to stay topical. It was like the Nancy Pelosi, like a student who was a protesting Israel Palestine. He was pro Palestine, anti Israel. She was a pro Israel judge, and she didn't let him clerk for her. And so he came to have it out with her and she wasn't home and he murdered her husband.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, so it's like based off of what happened to Nancy Pelosi and her.

[Michaela Watkins]

Husband and they merged it with Columbia protests and ripped the headlines.

[John Lovett]

Indeed. Jeez, bum, bum the news.

[Colton Dunn]

What was the. What was the body discovery scene in that? Like, how did they. How do they. Was it like. It's always like, you know, some guy was like, yeah, man, this ball. I can never get enough air.

[John Lovett]

And, whoa, body, you know, like. Yeah, just.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah. Somebody jogging?

[Michaela Watkins]

Oh, no, no, it was the foyer. It was a black and white tile parquet and turn of the century and a nice molding, and it was him lying there on the ground and just blood spilling from his head.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, my goodness.

[John Lovett]

Bump, bump.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Mikayla Colton recounted the true stale of the Sugar Hill Gang's seminal hip hop song Rapper's Delight in an episode of Drunk History featuring Rett.

[Michaela Watkins]

That sounds true. It is, yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

Nice.

[Michaela Watkins]

I love Retta.

[John Lovett]

Did you actually get wasted during that, buddy?

[Colton Dunn]

I got totally wasted during that.

[John Lovett]

I. I did it once.

[Colton Dunn]

I got so drunk, I got really drunk. I drank about an entire. An entire bottle of Jameson.

[Michaela Watkins]

Wow.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah, it was bad.

[Michaela Watkins]

And did you have to go to the hospital?

[Colton Dunn]

No, no, I didn't have to go to the hospital. I was still younger then and I could still drink, but I. I lost my shoes. So I woke up in my house without my shoes, and I. I didn't really remember the last. You know, you tell the story. They have. You tell the story about three or four times, and I only remember doing it two times, but apparently I did it two more times. And then I was like, all right, everybody, we're going out. And I, like, took people across the street to the coaching horses and.

[Michaela Watkins]

Really?

[Colton Dunn]

Yep. Yeah. Don't remember it, though.

[John Lovett]

I remember when I got through, when I was doing the second telling, I lay down, and most of the second telling I'm laying down.

[Michaela Watkins]

Which story did you tell again?

[John Lovett]

I did John F. Kennedy's doctor who gave him all the pills. Dr. Feelgood.

[Colton Dunn]

Dr. Feelgood.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, feelgood.

[Michaela Watkins]

Wow.

[John Lovett]

I did Dr. Feelgood.

[Michaela Watkins]

I was truly a child.

[John Lovett]

Oh, wow.

[Michaela Watkins]

And I was also in the one with Laura Dern about the. Oh, this is a fun little thing. I was in the 1. The. The insane Asylum about the woman who goes into undercover in an insane asylum to expose it.

[Colton Dunn]

To expose it. Yeah.

[Michaela Watkins]

And then she ends up being committed and she can't get out.

[John Lovett]

Mikayla.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah?

[John Lovett]

True or false?

[Michaela Watkins]

What?

[John Lovett]

Colton's in Superstore.

[Michaela Watkins]

Well, this is true.

[John Lovett]

Oh, you got it.

[Michaela Watkins]

I got it because one of your producers was gushing. So that was a cheat.

[John Lovett]

You think?

[Michaela Watkins]

And also because I love superstar. Mm. Superstore. Can't get enough.

[John Lovett]

How are the wigs on Superstore? Would you say wigs were great.

[Colton Dunn]

We had a great team in the hair and makeup department that would put together some fun wigs. There's an episode, a Halloween episode. We played different characters every Halloween episode, and I was Superman for one of them. And I got to wear a wig, which is nice because I'm bald, so I don't have any hair.

[John Lovett]

Why did you. Why did you guess?

[Michaela Watkins]

Because in my mind, I haven't had.

[Colton Dunn]

12 hair transplants yet.

[John Lovett]

I think. I think three is like three 12. Not worse than three. Once you're past one, it's.

[Colton Dunn]

It's just like, how many. How many would I take?

[John Lovett]

It depends on how bad of an afternoon you want to have. You can. I can get. I think you could. I think we could get you done in two really, really uncomfortable days or three very mediocre days.

[Michaela Watkins]

It's so not fair.

[John Lovett]

What?

[Michaela Watkins]

It's just not fair.

[Colton Dunn]

What's not fair?

[Michaela Watkins]

You guys have one biological thing that plagues your, like, adulting.

[Colton Dunn]

You're forgetting about big balls.

[Michaela Watkins]

No, I don't know.

[Colton Dunn]

Our balls get really big. They get lower and lower and lower.

[John Lovett]

Them out of the way when you play. They're all over the place.

[Colton Dunn]

Place.

[Michaela Watkins]

Not like you're half.

[Colton Dunn]

Hold on a second. We're not just going to blow right past my big ball.

[Michaela Watkins]

You don't wear. You don't wear a ball bra that. You have to, like. That cuts off circulation around your wrist.

[Colton Dunn]

You're right. You're right.

[Michaela Watkins]

Because your boobs, your empty pockets are falling off your body. You don't have. You don't. You don't. You don't. You don't have. You don't have sweats. Talk about waking up in the middle of the night and looking at a red light. You don't have to deal with any of this bullshit. You get one thing. One, one. Your hair thins on the top of your stupid heads. And guess what? I'm not done.

[Colton Dunn]

All I did was take my hat off.

[John Lovett]

Guess what?

[Michaela Watkins]

That's what it is.

[John Lovett]

What is it, you guys?

[Michaela Watkins]

Then how quickly did they figure that out?

[John Lovett]

Figure it out?

[Michaela Watkins]

We just figured out how to take care of that one thing that bums you out.

[John Lovett]

All right? They didn't figure that out that quickly. If you remember for a while, they were basically butchers. They were taking guys in, and they were coming out like Cabbage Patch dolls. They were basically like. What we do is we take 50 hairs, we put them in one circle at the very top, then you comb it around. There are a lot of guys out there that got that. They Went in early and they are pioneers and we are grateful to them. These are, these are. These people had the rights to stuff. They were brave.

[Michaela Watkins]

Right?

[John Lovett]

What's the name of the pilot from the right stuff?

[Michaela Watkins]

I don't know. Do you want to see my. Do you want to see my patch?

[John Lovett]

Sure.

[Michaela Watkins]

The one that I have to pay for and change or my body and brain fallout?

[John Lovett]

What? Your brain fallout patch is this? What is this?

[Michaela Watkins]

It's a hormone hrt.

[Colton Dunn]

Sometimes we got to pee a lot.

[John Lovett]

So do we.

[Michaela Watkins]

Cuz we have no pelvic floor. Thank you.

[Colton Dunn]

Now that's fair. It really is. Yeah. They've solved boners and male baldness.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah. But I'm incontinent. Have a great day.

[Colton Dunn]

What's the score, by the way, on our scoreboard?

[Michaela Watkins]

Balls, 2, 1, 0.

[Colton Dunn]

Beautiful.

[John Lovett]

Miguel wins. Nice.

[Colton Dunn]

Congratulations.

[Michaela Watkins]

By the weight of a feather there.

[John Lovett]

Oh, also Hacks is streaming now on HBO Max. And you keep tabs on Colton on Instagram at capped dope. Like Captain Dope.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah. C A P T D O P.

[John Lovett]

E. All right, we'll be right back. Kate. Don't go anywhere.

[Colton Dunn]

There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.

[John Lovett]

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[Colton Dunn]

They can both chew now.

[John Lovett]

Oh, they can both chew. Yeah, I know. I don't know when they. When they start. You can't take them out of their hands now. Oh, wow. They're just.

[Colton Dunn]

They're just gobbling them down.

[John Lovett]

Nice. Yeah. And if you're tired of battling with your kids to eat their greens, Hai now has Kids Daily Greens plus Superfoods, a chocolate flavored greens powder designed specifically for kids. Packed with 55 plus whole food ingredients to support brain power development and digestion. Just scoop, shake and sip with milk or any non dairy beverage for a delicious and nutritious boost your kids will actually enjoy. We've worked out a special deal with Haya for their bestselling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hyahealth.com love it. This deal is not available on their regular website. Go to h I y a h e a l t h.com l o-v e-t t and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

[Announcer]

The Golden Bachelor is back on Wednesday. This season our leading man is 66 year old Ms. Mel Owens, father of two and former NFL star looking for his second chance at love. And the women are in a league of their own. Ranging in age from 59 to 77, these fearless women are hoping to make a connection with Mel and prove that you're never too old to fall in love. The Golden Bachelor season premiere Wednesday at 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

[John Lovett]

And we're back. Yeah. Before we get to the wheel, love it or leave. It's New York show is sold out.

[Colton Dunn]

No way.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, that's right. But here in Los Angeles, you can come see us live next Thursday right here at Dynasty typewriter. September 25th. We'll be joined by Paul Scheer, Congressman Eric Swalwell. Wow. And more. All right. Actor, director, generational smoke show. Robert Redford passed away on Tuesday. I love Robert Redford.

[Colton Dunn]

Great guy.

[Michaela Watkins]

Love.

[Colton Dunn]

Popcorn.

[John Lovett]

Was great.

[Michaela Watkins]

Love.

[John Lovett]

Did he make popcorn?

[Colton Dunn]

Maybe. I'm thinking of Paul Newman.

[Michaela Watkins]

You're thinking of Paul Newman. But I was doing the math on that one. And I was like, wow, that must have been friction in their friendship.

[John Lovett]

Right? Yeah. Be like, oh, now butch is doing it.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Miguel, you like Robert Redford?

[Michaela Watkins]

Loved. I mean, what's not to love? I went to Sundance a lot. I've had, I had a lot of movies there. Luckily. Fortunately.

[John Lovett]

Like you meet him.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah, I went as, I went to the director's lab as an actor. That sounds like I was lost. They invite. Oh, no actors, huh? Cool. And I handed out my headshot. No, I was invited. They invite actors in to like work with first time directors and then they have mentors. But then he invites you into this private little screening room while you're there. And he did a screening of all the President's Men on the original reels and then talked about it afterwards. And God, he's a beautiful, beautiful Beautiful, beautiful man.

[John Lovett]

I was thinking the reason I wanted to do this is part because I was like, oh, my God. I sorted Robert Redford into, like, medium old in my mind. Not like, oh, wow, he was old. You know, he's an old guy. He's been around for a long time. Probably so handsome, even though he's an older guy. And so tonight we wanted to give living legends their flowers. So we're gonna spin the wheel and praise a non engineerian who's still with us. Cause why not? Why wait? Why wait to have the feelings when they're gone?

[Michaela Watkins]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

All right, so, Mikhail, you go up first. We have a wheel. Let's see who's on the wheel.

[Michaela Watkins]

Wheel. Oh, I missed this wheel sound.

[John Lovett]

It landed on Shirley MacLaine, age 91. Wow.

[Michaela Watkins]

Oh, Shirl. You know what? Right before the pandemic was starting, I was about to go shoot a movie with her in Amsterdam, play her daughter. It was like a Holocaust y kind of movie. And it never.

[John Lovett]

But funny.

[Michaela Watkins]

But funny, but hilarious. Like Little Miss Sunshine meets the Holocaust.

[Colton Dunn]

And there's something funny about the phrase holocausty, which makes me also think, like, was it too much money? Like, this is Holocausty.

[Michaela Watkins]

You know, it was about. It was about a woman who is very hesitant to go back to Holland, and her daughter really wants to go see where, you know, where her family was from originally. And she's very testy and pissy through the whole thing. And you find out, like, about their dark. Her dog passed. But anyway, I just think that she, you know, Terms of Endearment. All the things she's made that she has just. She's a legend. Cheryl, like, you're beautiful. I hope you come back in another form because she's ballsy and she's. She was never. She was never just. What's his face's brother Warren's. She was her own whole damn thing.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Love Shirley MacLaine. Love terms of Endearment. I mean, like that sequel. Yeah, the Rivers of the Summer. Nope.

[Michaela Watkins]

What about that one with Jack Black? Where. Remember that, anybody.

[John Lovett]

School of Rock Guarding Tests. That was with Nicolas Cage.

[Colton Dunn]

Minecraft movie.

[Michaela Watkins]

And then she's all into astrology. She's fun.

[John Lovett]

All right, let's spin it again, this time for Colton.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, boy.

[John Lovett]

His land on Dick Van Dyke.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, love. Love his popcorn.

[Michaela Watkins]

That's a euphemism.

[Colton Dunn]

I love Dick Van Dyke. I mean, look, I grew up Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. So I loved him when I was a kid. And then I remember Nickelodeon used to play all the old stuff. So you had like the Dick Van Dyke stuff like that. Always super funny, always seem really nice, you know, I feel like there's a lot of people who, you look back over their career, especially, you know, some comedians, and there's a lot of troubling things, you know, where you're like, uh, oh, oh boy, can't believe they did that. You know, and then maybe even just some like, like straight up controversies. It feels like he was relatively controversy free. The characters and the bits that he did. Like, you could still play him, you know, I could still play, you know, I show my kid Mary Poppins, you know, I just like that, you know, that, you know. And here's the thing. I know he was a recovering alcoholic. I'm sure there's probably some fucked up Hollywood stories of Dick Van Dyke, but the people have died and they haven't told us those stories. So we don't know them.

[Michaela Watkins]

They're probably cute.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah. And yeah, so he just, you know, I think, I think give that guy his flowers, man. He always made everybody laugh. And he's just a guy, a funny tall guy. Everybody loves the funny tall guy.

[John Lovett]

Good Pratt. Good Pratt. Balls.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Guy made tripping over an ottoman an icon.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh my goodness.

[John Lovett]

An iconic trip overnight. A lot of people can fall over an ottoman.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You know, a lot of people tumble. He tumbled. Yeah, he tumbled.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah, he was, he. I feel like if he did do anything bad, it was probably charming. Like, yeah, Dick. He. He a peacock.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, Dick.

[John Lovett]

And.

[Colton Dunn]

And to rock the name Dick and like have it work.

[John Lovett]

Never even connects with.

[Colton Dunn]

And Dyke. Yeah, he's got it all in there.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

That is a triggering name.

[Michaela Watkins]

And van.

[Colton Dunn]

And van, the creepiest vehicle.

[John Lovett]

And I don't even connect him to the Dutch. Yeah, those slippery Dutch. Let's spin it one more time. This time for me.

[Michaela Watkins]

Oh, great.

[John Lovett]

It's landed on Mel Brooks. I love Mel Brooks. I love Mel Brooks. And you know, I was thinking about Mel Brooks because they're making Spaceballs too. I'm excited about that. I got friends that are working on Spaceballs too. And I'm excited about the fact that we're going to get a spaceball suit and that Mel Brooks is still around to be part of it in some way, which is amazing. So old Vic Van Dyke's so old. They're so old, but they're still kicking. And there are all these old stories about Mel Brooks just kind of tooling around like la Delis. And if you went up to Mel Brooks and said that you love the producers, he would say, of course you do. It's one of the greatest comedies of all time. And I love that. I love that vibe. I love the happiness. Like, there are a lot of really funny Jewish comedians, and then there's a lot of really positive comedians. It's. It's a really funny, positive Jewish comedian. Wow, that's. That's a triple threat. That's a triple threat. Joyous, joyous. And like, those movies are so joyful. They're so fun.

[Michaela Watkins]

I know.

[John Lovett]

And so many we've like. I don't know, like so many. We like, drain so much of the fun out of, like, comedy a lot of the times. And like, just like Hollywood in general and everything is like, so serious.

[Michaela Watkins]

And even the scary movie, high anxiety. Like, even that was like, scary funny. Yeah, scary charming.

[John Lovett]

So charming.

[Michaela Watkins]

Mel Brooks, I did a game show with him once.

[John Lovett]

You did?

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah. To tell the truth, he was so darling. And with Cloris Leachman and then she rubbed her vagina on my arm. She would known to be doing that. And it was very funny.

[John Lovett]

Sure, it's funny when she does it, but then Louis CK can't go anywhere.

[Colton Dunn]

Wow. Double standard. Here we go.

[John Lovett]

What do you think about that? And I'll just close by saying, when I saw that Robert Redford died, I had this realization that there are some actors, classic actors, that when they die, you think of their performances. And he's an amazing actor. But that's actually not what I think of when I think of him. I think of the movies themselves and I think of all the President's Men and I think of the candidate. I think of Three Days of the Condor and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and how amazing these movies are and how much they hold up. How many people here haven't seen Three Days of the Condor? Do yourselves, give yourselves a treat in honor of Robert Redfield.

[Michaela Watkins]

Did you say out of Africa?

[John Lovett]

I've never seen out of Africa.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, that's another good one. It's another good movie.

[John Lovett]

I'll watch it.

[Michaela Watkins]

He's so hot and it's disturbing. Nobody should be.

[Colton Dunn]

That was my take too. Is like, the guy's a smoke show in there. I mean, just fires it up.

[Michaela Watkins]

Ridiculous.

[Colton Dunn]

Real boner material.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. Yeah, that's the lesson, too. It's just like, you got these stars, boner material they leave behind.

[Michaela Watkins]

And what about that movie he did where it's just him on a boat and then he gets. He gets lost at sea. Does anybody know what that is?

[John Lovett]

Help.

[Michaela Watkins]

He was like, oh, he was like over 80 years old. And every morning before they would even start shooting on a freezing cold boat in the ocean, he would go to the. The hotel pool and like swim like five miles.

[Colton Dunn]

Those guys were always talking about how they were worried that they were going to kill him.

[Michaela Watkins]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

Cause he was so old when he died.

[John Lovett]

What was it called?

[Colton Dunn]

All is lost.

[John Lovett]

And here we are all these years later and he died. Bungee jumping.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah. Yeah. From a helicopter.

[John Lovett]

Also sneakers.

[Michaela Watkins]

Sneakers.

[John Lovett]

Sneakers is so good. All right. I love Robert Redford. RIP to a legend. That's our show. Thank you so much to Mikaela Watkins and Colton Dunn. We will see you next week at Dynasty typewriter. There are 409 days until the midterms. Hope we have them. Have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love it or leave it on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad free. Love it or Leave it and POD Save America episodes, subscriber exclusive pods and more. Sign [e-mail] friends love it or Leave it is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre and Subha Agrawal are our writers. Jordan Kanter is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shadow. Thanks to our designer, Sammy Cadorna Rees for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And thanks to our digital producers, David Tools, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Delon Villanueva and Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week. Our head of production is Matt de Groat, and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East. Your new beginning starts now. Dr. Horton has new construction homes available in Ellensburg and throughout the greater Seattle area. With spacious floor plans, flexible living spaces and home technology packages, you can enjoy more cozy moments and sweet memories in your beautiful new home. With new home communities opening in Ellensburg and throughout the Seattle area. Dr. Horton has the ideal home for you. Learn more at Dr. Horton.com Dr. Horton America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder. Greg's car shopping and since he lives in Florida, your marketing's probably pushing something a little sporty. Too bad you don't know he's planning a move to Alaska. Turns out marketing without a clear picture of your customer is like driving a convertible in the Arctic.

[Colton Dunn]

A bad idea.

[John Lovett]

Learn how TransUnion's 360 degree view of customer identity is bringing clarity to marketing chaos through deeper insights, smarter reach, and Precise measurement. @transunion.com clarity.