Make Phones, Not War

Summary

Podcast Summary: Lovett or Leave It – Episode: "Make Phones, Not War"

Host: Jon Lovett
Producer: Crooked Media
Release Date: June 21, 2025
Duration: Approximately 88 minutes

---

1. Political Turmoil and Senator Mike Lee’s Controversial Tweets

Timestamp: 00:00 - 05:52

The episode opens with Jon Lovett diving into a week fraught with political tension, focusing primarily on the tragic rampage in Minnesota. Before the suspect was apprehended, Republican Senator Mike Lee from Utah took to X (formerly Twitter) to blame the left for the unfolding violence. Lovett highlights Lee's alarming tweets, where he stated:

“This is what happens when Marxists don't get their way.”
(00:45)

Senator Lee further mocked Minnesota Governor Tim Walz with another tweet:

“Nightmare on Wall Street.”
(02:15)
Lovett critiques the tweet for its poor construction and insensitivity, noting the suspect was a religious conservative targeting Democrats and abortion rights advocates. The backlash against Lee was swift, prompting calls for his resignation.

Tina Smith Confronts Senator Lee Timestamp: 03:29 - 03:55

Minnesota Senator Tina Smith directly addressed Lee’s irresponsible rhetoric, stating:

“Your message on social media showed the image of the man who killed my friend... You need to take responsibility and accountability...”
(03:29)

Lovett humorously interjects, supporting Smith’s stance:

“Fuck em up, Tina.”
(03:55)

2. Donald Trump’s Threats Towards Iran and Conservative Rift

Timestamp: 03:55 - 12:54

The discussion shifts to escalating tensions in the Middle East, with Israel launching an attack against Iran’s nuclear facilities. President Donald Trump declared:

“We now have complete and total control over the skies of Iran and called for Iran's unconditional surrender.”
(05:00)

Lovett critiques Trump's unpredictable stance, comparing it to nonsensical actions like throwing Starbursts at Angela Merkel:

“Like the intent not clear, but obviously disgusting.”
(06:12)

This unpredictability has caused a significant rift among conservatives. Lovett references a heated exchange involving Stephen Miller and Senator Ted Cruz, showcasing internal conflicts within the conservative ranks:

“How could you not know the population of the country you seek to topple.”
(05:52)

Stephen Miller’s Satirical Banter Timestamp: 07:00 - 18:05

Stephen Miller engages in a comedic yet scathing dialogue with Lovett, mocking Senator Cruz’s ignorance and questioning his relationship with AIPAC. Their exchange escalates into a playful yet pointed confrontation, highlighting the absurdity and disarray within conservative politics.

3. Supreme Court Upholds Tennessee’s Ban on Gender-Affirming Care

Timestamp: 12:54 - 18:05

Lovett addresses the Supreme Court's decision to uphold Tennessee's ban on gender-affirming care for transgender minors. He condemns the ruling as:

“Which is fucking bullshit.”
(15:40)

He emphasizes the backlash against the study Utah commissioned, which surprisingly showed positive mental health outcomes from gender-affirming care:

“But conservatives are ignoring the study. It’s like RFK Jr. ignoring vaccine science.”
(20:00)

4. Comedic Interludes and Stephen Miller’s Antics

Timestamp: 18:05 - 29:00

The show transitions into a series of comedic skits featuring Stephen Miller mocking various scenarios, including a faux interaction about a clogged toilet and exaggerated threats. These segments serve to lighten the intense political discussions, blending satire with sharp commentary.

5. Interview with Comedy Legend Larry Charles

Timestamp: 29:00 - 49:37

Larry Charles, the director behind iconic comedies like "Borat," joins the show for an in-depth conversation about his creative process and experiences in the industry.

Discussion Highlights:

• Element of Surprise in Comedy:

  “The element of surprise is so rare in comedy these days. So much is predictable and derivative...”
  (30:33)

• Behind-the-Scenes of "Borat":

  “When you're shooting that scene, what is the experience you're having?”
  (30:33)

  Charles recounts the chaos and spontaneity during the filming of "Borat," emphasizing the unpredictable reactions from the public and the meticulous planning required to manage such interactions.

• Talmudic Tradition and American Jewish Comedy:

  “There's a Talmudic tradition of Jews arguing with each other... generating absurdities and laughter.”
  (42:13)

  He attributes much of American Jewish humor to these deep-rooted conversational traditions, fostering a unique comedic style characterized by back-and-forth banter and intellectual humor.

• Experiences in Jerusalem: Charles shares a harrowing anecdote about filming in an Orthodox neighborhood, where a staged scene led to real-life aggression from locals. His quick thinking and familiarity with confrontations allowed the crew to safely exit the volatile situation:

  “I will crack your fucking skull... and they all backed off.”
  (46:24)

6. "10 Buck Yucks" – Classic Joke Exchange

Timestamp: 46:24 - 49:37

In a lighthearted segment, Jon Lovett and Stephen Miller engage in a joke-telling contest, rating each other's jokes with fictitious monetary values. Highlights include:

• Lovett’s joke about loving the same woman for 50 years:

  “I’ve been in love with the same woman for 50 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me.”
  (46:49)
  Rated $7 by Miller.

• Miller’s joke about a speeding car:

  “A speeding car hits an elderly Jewish man crossing the street. The paramedic asks, 'Sir, are you doing all right?' The man replies, 'I make a living.’"
  (48:16)
  Rated $100 by Lovett.

The segment showcases the hosts' camaraderie and sharp wit, blending humor with cultural references.

7. "News It or Lose It" – Arcane News Questions

Timestamp: 53:25 - 85:56

This interactive segment quizzes guests Chinedu Anaka and Adam Lustig on obscure news-related questions, blending humor with current events.

Highlights:

• AI Relationships: A discussion on a man falling in love with ChatGPT sparks insights into modern loneliness and human dependency on technology:

  “He's in love with an AI girlfriend... I think we're headed that way in some ways.”
  (54:42)

• Asbestos Ban Reversal: Lovett critiques the Trump administration's consideration to overturn the ban on asbestos, a hazardous material:

  “They want to take asbestos back. Make America cancerous again.”
  (68:33)

• Reputational Repair for Paul Reubens: Stephen Miller humorously addresses the delayed positive reputation of Paul Reubens, creator of Pee-wee Herman:

  “Better late than never. He is getting the kind of reputational whatever that is long deserved.”
  (81:13)

8. Late and Irate Wheel – Reflecting on Missed Discoveries

Timestamp: 76:27 - 85:56

In celebration of Juneteenth, the hosts share personal insights on things they discovered too late but are glad to have found:

• Jon Lovett:

  “I came late to Reality TV shows like the Real Housewives, and now they are part of my identity.”
  (85:00)

• Chinedu Anaka: Reflects on global and social issues, expressing concern over ongoing conflicts and regressions in human rights despite earlier progress:

  “The end of Trump, no matter when he ends, it's going to be too late.”
  (80:42)

• Adam Lustig: Shares practical late discoveries, such as the convenience of QR codes on parking meters, enhancing everyday life by reducing parking tickets:

  “QR codes on parking meters make it easier to pay without returning to the meter.”
  (77:06)

9. Closing Remarks and Final Segments

Timestamp: 85:56 - End

The episode wraps up with promotional segments for upcoming shows and products, interspersed with light-hearted banter among hosts and guests. Jon Lovett encourages listeners to subscribe to the "Friends of the Pod" for exclusive content and highlights future episode topics.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Senator Tina Smith on Mike Lee’s Responsibility:

  “You need to take responsibility and accountability for what you were saying and doing out there in the social media world.”
  (03:29)

• Jon Lovett on Trump’s Unpredictability:

  “Make phones, not war. It sucks going down there not feeling like themselves.”
  (Highlighted sentiment throughout)

• Chinedu Anaka on Free Will:

  “Everything is a manipulation of some kind.”
  (40:04)

• Larry Charles on Comedy’s Element of Surprise:

  “Trust us.”
  (31:19)

• Stephen Miller on Junk Content:

  “Sanctuary cities are engaged in a criminal conspiracy to obstruct, defy, and dismantle the federal laws of the United States.”
  (11:54)

Concluding Insights:

Jon Lovett successfully balances incisive political analysis with sharp humor, maintaining an engaging dialogue throughout the episode. The interaction with guests, particularly Larry Charles, offers valuable insights into the creative process behind influential comedies, while segments like "10 Buck Yucks" and "News It or Lose It" provide levity and entertainment. The episode underscores the persistent divisions within American politics, the ongoing struggles for social justice, and the role of humor in navigating these complex landscapes.

Listeners are left with a blend of critical perspectives on current events and an appreciation for the comedic talents of the guests, all wrapped in Jon Lovett’s signature insightful and witty hosting style.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Your body is your own. Planned Parenthood believes everyone should have the freedom to make decisions about their health, including abortion, whenever and wherever they need it. Today and every day, Planned Parenthood is committed to ensuring that everyone has the information and resources they need to make their own decisions about their bodies. Whether you need STI testing, a treatment, birth control, gender affirming care, cancer screenings, or abortion, Planned Parenthood is there for you and all of us. But some lawmakers want to force their personal beliefs on everybody else. They're pushing bills to block people from getting sexual and reproductive care. They're cutting access to reproductive health care, trying to block coverage for birth control, promoting abstinence only until marriage programs, and attacking Planned Parenthood. They're trying to defund Planned Parenthood through the Trump bill. Right now, right now, the government wants more control over our bodies, decisions and futures. Right now, millions of people are at risk of losing access to care. Planned Parenthood believes healthcare is a human right. And together with people like you and me, they're fighting every day to build a future we deserve, one where everyone can get the care they need, no matter who they are or where they live. Supporters like you power this work. Donate to support Planned Parenthood now@planned parenthood.org protect that's planned parenthood.org/protect. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love it or Leave It Live at Dynasty Typewriter. Thank you all for being here. We have got a great show for you. Larry Charles is here. He's got million dollar stories. We've got some $10 jokes. Then Chinedu Anaka and Adam Lustak joined to test out their news knowledge. And then we wrap it all up with our latest and greatest rants. But first, let's get into it. What a week. As a terrifying rampage was unfolding in Minnesota and before the suspect had been caught, Republican Senator and shitposter Mike Lee from Utah ran to X to blame the left for the violence. Wrote Lee in one tweet with a photo of the suspect. This is what happens when Marxists don't get their way. So, so close. New York City Mayor Andrew Cuomo is what happens when Marxists don't get their way. In reality, the suspect is a religious conservative who attended Trump rallies and whose other targets appeared to include dozens of prominent Democrats and abortion rights advocates. And since he remains in custody, I'll add this. Not much of a dresser. Got him an hour after that first tweet. By a sitting US Senator Lee returned to seemingly blame or mock Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, writing over an image of the assassin. Nightmare on Wall Street. Not the biggest problem with this post, but it's Nightmare on Elm Street. The term is Wall Street. He could have said Wolf of Wall Street. Right, Wolf of Wall Street. That would have been. I mean it still would have been incomprehensible and vile at the same time. Like the intent not clear, but obviously disgusting. But too many steps, just terrible structure. But some people can pose, some people can't. I'm sure Mike Lee has many other talents, like ruining the vibe when his wife's friends are over. The post prompted outrage and calls for Lee's resignation. And on Monday, Minnesota Senator Tina Spen Smith confronted Lee directly.

[Tina Smith]

I wanted him to know about the consequence of his words. And I went to him and I said, you know, your message on social media showed the image of the man who killed my friend potentially minutes before that happened. And your message was, this is what happens. You need to take responsibility and accountability for what you were saying and doing out there in the social media world.

[John Lovett]

Fuck em up, Tina. And Tina had support. She was playing good cop, Klobuchar Cop. Because then Mike Lee had to face the final boss, which is looking Senator Amy Klobuchar in the eyes. After that second conversation, Lee deleted the post. Mike Lee was later spotted at a local church basement in D.C. attending a weekly meeting of Sodak survivors of disappointing Amy Klobuchar. People come, they tell their stories. They feel connected to a community. I didn't have a fork. I didn't have a fork. It's okay. Days before nuclear talks were set to resume in Oman, Israel launched an attack against Iran's nuclear facilities and leadership, setting off an escalating conflict in the region. Now we must hope for cooler heads to prevail over. It says here Donald Trump, Benjamin Netanyahu and Ayatollah Khamenei. So not. Not great. On Tuesday, Trump declared on Truth Social that we now have complete and total control over the skies of Iran and called for Iran's unconditional surrender. No, that sucks. Stop it. We also learned that Trump was preparing for strikes against Iran, which the Pentagon described as defensive and which may also be a threat to pressure Iran to make concessions. So hopefully it's the kind of preparation that ultimately proves unnecessary, like bringing an umbrella on a hike or writing a segment for the Drag Queen. You've booked very specific joke kills amongst the producers of Love it or Leave It. The possibility, the possibility that Trump might drag the US into Israel's war with Iran has opened up a massive rift among conservatives. In fact, here's Tucker Carlson opening up a massive rift in Ted Cruz.

[Stephen Miller]

How many people live in Iran, by the way? I don't know the population at all. No, I don't know the population. You don't know the population of the country you seek to topple. How many people live in Iran? 92 million.

[John Lovett]

Okay. Yeah.

[Stephen Miller]

How could you not know that.

[John Lovett]

Ted Cruz? So ignorant. Not like us. Everybody in this room knows the population of Iran. Can't prove we didn't. It's like that. You can't. We all knew it. Fucking idiot. It's like that moment when Godzilla stops killing an entire metropolis full of people to turn his sights on killing another bigger, dumber beast. And it's like, go Godzilla. I guess. But it's nice to see Tucker Carlson take a break from sticking a feather in his cap and calling it macaroni. That really means I don't know what a Yankee Doodle Dandy is, but I'm pretty sure Tucker Carlson is a Yankee Doodle Andy. The pair. The pair also sparred over Cruz's relationship with apac, the pro Israel lobbying group.

[Stephen Miller]

APAC I wish were much more effective like their folks on.

[John Lovett]

On.

[Stephen Miller]

On one of the lines. Swamp of terrified of APAC and apac. I'm not terrified of APAC at all.

[John Lovett]

I. I'm.

[Stephen Miller]

You're the one who seems a little uncomfortable when I'm asking. No, not uncomfortable at all. I'm Just ask.

[John Lovett]

Just kiss already. That exchange about AIPAC led to this heated moment.

[Stephen Miller]

You're not talking about Chinese, you're not talking about Japanese, you're not talking about the Brits, you're not talking about the French. The question what about the Jews?

[John Lovett]

What about the Jews?

[Stephen Miller]

Oh, I'm an anti Semite now. It's interesting you're trying to derail my questions by calling me an anti Semite. Which you are. I did not. Of course you are. And rather than be honorable enough to say it right to my face, you are a sleazy, feline way implying it.

[John Lovett]

He wants to call him a bitch. It has the same energy of the moment when Hercule Perrot says, aha, poison a woman's weapon. You know what I'm saying? Tucker Carlson isn't the only Trump supporter feeling betrayed. Podcaster Dave Smith had this to say about Trump's approach to Iran. I supported him this last year.

[Chinedu Anaka]

I apologize for doing so.

[John Lovett]

It was a bad calculation.

[Chinedu Anaka]

At the time, it seemed like the right one.

[John Lovett]

Donald Trump should be impeached and removed for this.

[Chinedu Anaka]

All of his supporters should turn on him.

[John Lovett]

It's the absolute betrayal of everything that.

[Chinedu Anaka]

He ran and campaigned on and everything.

[John Lovett]

That he stood for. Sure. But the most important thing that Donald Trump stands for is that he doesn't stand for anything. The 2024 election was like that riddle about the two doors in front of one door with someone who always lies, and then the other door, it was blocked by an incomprehensible old man yelling, NATO. Theo Von, who hosted Trump on his podcast last year and attended his inauguration, also spoke out against war with Iran. I don't trust the Israel leader at all. I don't believe anything that guy says. And I. I don't think that our soldiers should have to go and defend stuff that they start. Sadly, the clip ends there because Theo Vaughan's pager exploded. This guy, he went to dinner with Ivanka and Jared a month ago. I love the idea of Theo Vaughn calling Ivanka with his concerns, and she's like, oh, sorry, Theo. How do I put this? Jared and I aren't human in the way you're thinking about it. On Wednesday, Trump said this when asked whether the US Was moving closer to a strike against Iran. You don't know. I may do it, I may not do it. I mean, nobody knows what I'm going to do. It's helpful at a moment like this to accept the block theory of the universe, in which the present is an illusion and the future is just as determined as the past. Will we go to war with Iran? If we will, we already have, and if we don't, we never would. You know about the block theory? No. Okay. Time is just a dimension. We just have the illusion that we're moving through it. But really, it's all fully determined that time is just another dimension. It's just one we can't perceive. And in a sense, what's interesting, it's not that what we're doing right now is standing still. It's that we're moving through time at the speed of light. And in a sense, all of us are always moving at the speed of light. It's interesting to think about. Not funny, though. Make a note of that. I have to say, Trump saying this, it's one of the few times where he's not bullshitting. Nobody ever knows what he's going to do. Remember when Trump reached into his pocket, pulled out a handful of starbursts, and then threw them at German Chancellor Angela Merkel? Like, there's unpredictable. And then there's whatever the fuck that was. Speaking of not knowing what Trump is going to do hour to hour. Last week, the Trump administration abruptly directed ICE to pause immigration raids at farms, hotels, and restaurants. Our farmers are being hurt badly by, you know, they have very good workers. They've worked for them for 20 years. They. They're not citizens, but they've turned out to be, you know, great. And we're going to have to do something about that. We can't take farmers and take all their people and send them back because they don't have maybe what they're supposed to have. We got to find the person who's doing this. But of course, Trump immediately reversed himself once Stephen Miller and fucking Christine Ohm got to him. With ICE officials telling staff on Monday that agents must continue conducting raids at farms, hotels and restaurants. This is what I would call the dating in your early 20s strategy of governing. Talk through it logically with people you trust, have the breakthrough revelation, and then make the exact wrong decision. Three days later, the President reportedly did have this about face. What happened was he had been contacted directly by Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rawlins, who bypassed Miller and Noem to kind of relay what she was hearing from these kind of big agricultural companies, I suppose. And then, of course, Trump just says the last thing he fucking heard. And then Stephen Miller, I guess, gets back on the fucking yoke. And now we're back to where we were speaking of. On Monday, Stephen Miller busted out multiple over the top tweets about sanctuary cities, including this one. Sanctuary cities are engaged in a criminal conspiracy to obstruct, defy, and dismantle the federal laws of the United States in order to end the sovereignty of the United States. This is the crisis at hand. And I for one, would just like to say.

[Stephen Miller]

Jonathan. Jonathan Lovett.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Yes.

[Stephen Miller]

You left your spoon in the sink again.

[John Lovett]

Okay, guys, I just need to tell you all something. I did turn my guest house into an Airbnb. And it was rented by Stephen Miller.

[Stephen Miller]

Correct.

[John Lovett]

And I didn't want you to know. I tried to cancel, really hope that nobody would find out.

[Stephen Miller]

Well, these people have found out, Jonathan. Your secret's out. All right? I posted a tweet about your spoon, Calumny, and I just wanted to make sure that you saw it, that all of you saw it.

[John Lovett]

Well, you know what? I actually haven't. Cause I'm kind of in the middle of something.

[Stephen Miller]

Well, we're all in the middle of something, Jonathan. I'm in the middle of transitioning fully into Nosferatu.

[John Lovett]

I see. It. I just want you to. Whatever however you identify. Okay? Thank you. Thank you for this.

[Stephen Miller]

That's a disgusting implement. Lucky for you I printed out the tweet and I brought it with me. Thanks.

[John Lovett]

Okay, this is my tweet.

[Stephen Miller]

Me, Stephen Miller the unchecked decay in that sink is not merely an oversight. It represents moral collapse a civilization cannot endure when basic duties are flouted with impunity by remorseless contributors to filth, decadence and disorder. Jonathan.

[John Lovett]

Is that it?

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah, that's it.

[John Lovett]

All right. Thanks, Stephen. I guess there's nothing to do about the fact that you're here, so I'll just kind of put up with it.

[Stephen Miller]

Okay. And I should also mention that your towels have quite a mustiness.

[John Lovett]

Alright, get out of here.

[Stephen Miller]

Not nearly musty enough for my liking.

[John Lovett]

Fucking Stephen Miller.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Booo.

[John Lovett]

Hope that doesn't happen two more times On Tuesday, during an Armed Services Committee hearing, Secretary of not understanding that the movie Starship Troopers is a parody, Pete Hegseth went toe to toe with Elizabeth Warren over deploying troops in U.S. cities. If the Supreme Court orders you to remove troops from American cities, will you do so? As I've said, Senator, I don't believe district courts should determine national security policy. But if that was Supreme Court rules on a topic, we will abide by that. Obeying the rule of law. I'll drink to that. Hegseth continued to be grilled by Congress this week over his leaked war chat and the ongoing reports of mismanagement and chaos within the Pentagon. Here's Senator Tammy Duckworth raking him over the coals.

[Chinedu Anaka]

You are blowing through money like my.

[John Lovett]

Fellow cadets and I did in our.

[Chinedu Anaka]

First liberty after basic camp.

[John Lovett]

Luckily, I didn't end up with a questionable tattoo. Only an awesome tattoo, continued Duckworth. Check this out, she said before pulling up her sleeve to reveal two Tasmanian devils kissing. Fucking awesome. And this wasn't even the best Duckworth moment. She pressed Hegseth on using the military not just for defense purposes, but for supporting the Homeland Security Department's immigration crackdown. And if you want to be DHS Secretary, maybe you can apply for that job when you're fired from this one due to your incompetence. Over my dog's dead body, said DHS Secretary Kristi Noem. Hawaii Senator Mazie Hirono had this helpful observation.

[Chinedu Anaka]

If ordered by the President, I'm going to ask you once again to shoot peaceful protesters in the legs. Would you carry out such an order from the President?

[John Lovett]

Senator, as I've said before, of course I reject the premise of your question and the characterization that I would be given, or are given on law orders, it's all meant to attempt to smear.

[Stephen Miller]

The commander in chief.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Considering that the president in his first term actually ordered such a thing, it is not a premise that you can reject.

[John Lovett]

Oh, you've caught me in a contradiction. I'm Pete Hegseth. We're on the brink of war with Iran. There are US Service members on the streets of an American city. I'm a weekend cable news anchor whose previous management is running not one, but two nonprofits into the ground. Between marital affairs and displays of public drunkenness. It is inconceivable that I am in this job. And yet here I am. And where is the fucking waiter?

[Stephen Miller]

Jonathan. Jonathan.

[John Lovett]

Oh, no.

[Stephen Miller]

Is that a cheer? Sounds like a cheer to me.

[John Lovett]

You boo him. This is Stephen Miller. Thank you.

[Stephen Miller]

I love it. I love it. I eat it up with a spoon. Jonathan, I've returned. Friends of Jonathan, it's me, Stephen Miller. I've returned.

[John Lovett]

Oh, God. I can't believe this is happening a second time. That stinks.

[Stephen Miller]

It might even happen a third time. Jonathan.

[John Lovett]

A third time. All right, it could potentially happen a third.

[Stephen Miller]

Jonathan, I want to make you aware of something. Tonight is indeed Trash Night.

[John Lovett]

Oh, shit.

[Stephen Miller]

And said trash has not been taken out.

[John Lovett]

I will do it when I get home.

[Stephen Miller]

I've heard it before, Jonathan, and it is far too late for those excuses. I've printed out yet another tweet.

[John Lovett]

Ah, fuck.

[Stephen Miller]

The breakdown of observance around civil rituals such as Trash Night reflect a larger erosion of the American way of life. We are drowning in the garbage of left wing disunity. The abeyance of basic precepts of fairness and our blood poisoned by the microplastics of Marxism. The trash must be taken out. And by trash, I mean both non white immigrants.

[John Lovett]

All right?

[Stephen Miller]

And also my protein bar wrappers and so on, et cetera. Or else all is lost.

[John Lovett]

Stephen.

[Stephen Miller]

Yes?

[John Lovett]

You gotta get outta here, man. I thought your rental ended yesterday.

[Stephen Miller]

Technically it did, but I extended it for another day. I wanted to take the TMZ tour. I saw Machine Gun Kelly. He looks fantastic.

[John Lovett]

God, I fucking hate that guy. Guys. Boom. Stephen Miller again. Sucks. Sucks seeing that guy hate having in my Airbnb. It's a bummer. On Monday, Eric Trump And Donald Trump Jr. Announced the launch of a Trump branded phone and cell service company. When I first heard Trump Mobile, I immediately thought. I mean, I guess he is mostly not sure about the ad slogan they landed on. Can you fear me now? I'm sorry. TrumpMobile.com posted images of the all gold T1, complete with an American flag. The phone comes with preloaded useful tech shortcuts like meet me at the Capitol and I have a governor in my trunk. Speaking of bad ideas. In a 6, 3 decision on Wednesday, the Supreme Court upheld Tennessee's ban on gender affirming care for trans minors. Which is fucking bullshit. You're already grinding in this dangerous job, coming home day after day covered in soot, and now the government is going to say you can't even do it with a great set of fucking tits. We support trans minors. These trans minors keep our fucking lights on. Hard job. Let's see why we're standing in the way of them getting a nice pair of yayas. Make them happy grinding out for coal all the time. It sucks going down there not feeling like themselves. Bullshit. The ruling ensured emboldened Republican state lawmakers to pass similar laws to prevent doctors and parents, along with teens, from making decisions about their own care. Not that they needed emboldening. Since 2021, 27 states have enacted laws that restrict gender affirming treatments for trans youth. Great work. Trans teens will keep existing. You're just going to make our pride parades a little bigger and the staff of your Panera breads a little less cool. We'll take them. Utah, which passed a ban in 2023, just got back the results from a study commissioned under the same law which was meant to show that such care was har. Instead, Utah's own study concluded that gender affirming care for trans youth led to positive mental health outcomes. Now, in response, this is interesting, Utah legislators nodded solemnly and said they learned a valuable lesson. No more studies. Huge blow, Huge mistake. But of course, conservatives are ignoring the study. It's like RFK Jr. Ignoring vaccine science. They don't want to see the truth. When you've got a warehouse full of ivermectin, every problem looks like a horse with a parasite. Meanwhile, Republicans last week made a last minute change to Trump's big beautiful bill before passing it in the House. In the original big beautiful bill in the House, there was a ban on gender affirming care for youth on Medicaid, but they just struck four minors so that it became a ban on Medicaid covering any transition care period that would affect hundreds of thousands of Americans. There's not that many trans fucking people. There's like 275,000 or so on Medicaid. A lot of the states already have bans or don't provide Coverage for gender affirming care through Medicaid. So this is really a punitive way to target a small subset of trans people on Medicaid who live in mostly blue states. So that's what they're getting up to, but that's how this always goes. You say it's aimed at children, but the reality is it's about adults. That's how we wind up with the vilest shit imaginable, like bans on trans healthcare or whatever the fuck is happening with Labubus.

[Stephen Miller]

Jonathan.

[John Lovett]

No shit.

[Stephen Miller]

Jonathan.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, okay.

[Stephen Miller]

Jonathan.

[John Lovett]

Fuck. Get him.

[Stephen Miller]

Let me hear it. Please, let me hear it. I love it.

[John Lovett]

No, I love it is. I like it.

[Stephen Miller]

I actually enjoy it.

[John Lovett]

I felt kink. Ouch.

[Stephen Miller]

For some reason, that hurt. Now, Jonathan, the guest house toilet is clogged.

[John Lovett]

Fully.

[Stephen Miller]

Like, bad.

[John Lovett]

How did you already drive to my house and back, let alone take a. You were here four minutes ago.

[Stephen Miller]

Time is a liberal fiction, Jonathan.

[John Lovett]

All right.

[Stephen Miller]

Anyway, here's the tweet that I wrote while I was on the toilet.

[John Lovett]

Great.

[Stephen Miller]

We all remember an America where toilets did not clog, but that America is gone, replaced by a crime ring of foreign born plumbers who seek to humiliate us and marry our fertile wives.

[John Lovett]

Interesting.

[Stephen Miller]

This nation is threatened by a toilet catastrophe. And if we do not flush our radical socialist enemies down the.

[John Lovett]

You know what.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

That's enough, you little freak.

[Stephen Miller]

What?

[John Lovett]

I wrote a tweet.

[Stephen Miller]

You did?

[John Lovett]

I wrote a tweet addressing this exact situation before the show.

[Stephen Miller]

Wait, but did you print it out, Josh?

[John Lovett]

I did print it out. Oh, yeah. All right, here we go.

[Stephen Miller]

Let's hear it.

[John Lovett]

First of all, you clogged that toilet. And I have a great plumber because I have to. Second, you are the perfect person to represent the Trump administration.

[Stephen Miller]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Like you, your little movement was on the outside. Look at you, getting angrier and angrier, crueler, fantasizing about the day you'll be in charge. And now you're there and still no one respects you. And it also sounds like your wife left you for Elon Musk.

[Stephen Miller]

Well, I can't comment on that, but yes, she did. And why do you think I'm in your guest house?

[John Lovett]

Words have meaning some. You can describe Los Angeles as a war zone, or immigrants as an invasion, or standing up for our neighbors as a rebellion, but it doesn't, like, make it true. And nobody buys what you're saying because you don't know people. Look, you hate us.

[Stephen Miller]

I do.

[John Lovett]

You grew up here, but you don't know this city at all, you're still the same lonely loser from Santa Monica High School. And the only reason someone as broken as you can get anywhere near a position of power is because no one of any quality would get near Donald Trump.

[Stephen Miller]

Jonathan, you cut me to the quick. I'm going to write an Airbnb review that absolutely destroys you. Jonathan.

[John Lovett]

Hit me, freak.

[Stephen Miller]

I'll hit you, freak. Here's my review. 0 stars. The toilet was clogged and the wallpaper was gay.

[John Lovett]

C Santa Monica fascist Stephen Miller, everybody. That felt good. Moo. Yay. The wallpaper is pretty gay. It's got pomegranates on it. That's some gay ass wallpaper. With early voting underway in New York City's mayoral primary, a new Marist poll released Wednesday found that Andrew Cuomo still held a significant lead, but that progressive assemblyman Zoran Mamdani was gaining momentum. The fact that Cuomo is still in the lead should prove once and for all that Cuomo sexuality is not a choice. These people are born this way. Last week, Mamdani and Brad Lander, who's the comptroller cross, endorsed each other. In New York City, we have ranked choice voting. That means you can rank up to five candidates for mayor. Brad and I are officially telling our supporters, rank Zoran number two. Let's send Andrew Cuomo back to the suburbs. Just kids already. On Thursday, Karen Reid was found not guilty of murdering her boyfriend, Boston police officer John o' Keegan. Correct. The case became a TikTok sensation, with many convinced that Karen Reid had been framed. So basically, it seems like the cops tried to frame her. But that doesn't necessarily mean she wasn't responsible for the death. But because they tried to frame her for a crime she may have committed, the framing was enough to create the reasonable doubt so that she could go free. But that's not as fun for people because it's unsatisfying. It makes it harder to say that you should be on the next season of the Traitors. And that's what our society has become. And finally, an Italian museum released security footage seeking the identity of a tourist who pretended to sit on a crystal encrusted replica of historic chair, only to fall and crush it beneath him.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Oh.

[John Lovett]

Now here's the question for all of you. How many of you? Be honest. Be honest. You can lie to me. It's worthless. Don't lie to yourselves. You telling anybody or are you walking the fuck out of that museum? What are you gonna find a docent. Many were furious at the tourists for making such an obvious blunder trusting Italian manufacturing. Even more troubling, Italian officials are also seeking the identity of this dog who seems to be holding up the entire weight of the Tower of PIs. Yeah, let's leave it on. A visual joke for our fucking podcast for the people at home, there's an adorable dog holding up the Tower of fucking Pisa. Holding up the Tower of Pisa. Coming up, Larry Charles, comedy legend is here for a segment about nothing. We'll be right back.

[Stephen Miller]

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.

[John Lovett]

Love or Leave it brought to you by Haya. Typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise. Filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals and other gummy additives growing kids should never eat. That's why Haya created a superpower chewable vitamin. Haya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy additives, yet it tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters. Haya fills in the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment our kids need with a yummy taste they'll love. It's non gmo, vegan, dairy free, allergy free, gelatin free and nut free. Every single batch is third party tested so you know the product is safe and nutritious. Haya is designed for kids two and up and sent straight to your door so parents have one less thing to worry about.

[Stephen Miller]

John yes, Charlie loves his high vitamins, takes them all the time. I gotta make sure he gets all his vitamins and nutrients since he's on a spaghetti only diet that he has imposed on himself. But he enjoys Haya and it's not super sugary and you know, it's everything he needs. So we love it it and are.

[John Lovett]

You tired of battling with your kids to eat their greens? Haya now has Kids Daily Greens plus Superfoods, a chocolate flavored greens powder designed specifically for kids. Packed with 55 plus whole food ingredients to support brain power, development and digestion. Just scoop, shake and sip with milk or any non dairy beverage for a delicious and nutritious boost your kids will actually enjoy. We've worked out a special deal with Haya for their bestselling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hayahealth.com love it. This deal is not available on their regular website. Go to H I y dash A H E A L T h dot com L o V e T T and get your Kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

[Adam Lustig]

Instacart is here to keep you on the couch this basketball season. With pre game rituals and post game interviews, it's hard to find time for everything else. Let Instacart handle your game day snacks or weekly restocks with delivery in as fast as 30 minutes because it's bad luck to be hungry on game day. Download the Instacart app today and enjoy. $0 delivery fees on your first 3 orders. Service fees apply for 3 orders in 14 days. Excludes restaurants.

[Stephen Miller]

And we're back.

[John Lovett]

Please welcome to the stage a man whose comedy legacy will haunt our nation's wives forever. The director of Borat, Bruno Seinfeld, so much more, the legendary Larry Charles. Larry Charles, what an honor. Thank you for being here. That's great.

[Chinedu Anaka]

It's just the water.

[John Lovett]

You know what? My hands clammy from being Jewish.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

So it's fine.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Goodness.

[John Lovett]

Nice to meet you.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Thank you so much.

[John Lovett]

Good to see you.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Thank you. Hi.

[John Lovett]

Congrats on the book.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Thank you very much.

[John Lovett]

It's about your journey through basically, like so many of you, not just great, historic, iconic shows and movies, but ones that were transformative. And I just find that, like, interesting that I remember when I saw Borat in the theater, and it's strange and there's never been anything like it. And then all of a sudden, you get to a naked fight in the hotel, and I felt like, I don't even understand how this exists. I don't understand how I'm living in a world where I'm watching something that looks so real and strange. And I'm just. When you're shooting that scene, what is the experience you're having?

[Chinedu Anaka]

The same as yours, actually. I mean, comedy. What I love about a scene like that is that it's just like you say, the audience couldn't possibly anticipate a scene like that. The audience doesn't know. You guys didn't know that you needed that scene until you saw that scene. And I love that kind of surprise. The element of surprise is so rare in comedy these days. So much is predictable and derivative, and this kind of emerged kind of just out of the ether. And we didn't know it was funny either. And the guy who was with Sasha, Ken, who played Azomat, he kept saying, what's funny about this? What's funny about this? And we would just say, trust us, trust us. You know, so. And that's what we say to the audience, too. Trust us.

[John Lovett]

You know, so there are some comedy directors who want the set to feel funny, the making of it to feel funny, everybody having a great time. But then there are comedy directors, some of the greats that say, basically, if everybody's laughing, have a good time on set, you're getting garbage on the screen. What school are you in?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Well, actually, because I've done so many different things, I mean, something like Curb, you want a loose fun set and people having a good time. So that is kind of a much more of a party atmosphere. But when you're doing bar and you know the police are hovering and there are angry people around, you have to be super, super serious. So no one is allowed to laugh just in order to get the scene. So there is a very different kind of need to a Borat scene than say a Curb scene. And then the environments have to be completely different as well.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, right. Well, one's in a ballroom at a hotel with a bunch of horrified onlookers.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Real angry people.

[John Lovett]

Yes, they were, they were real angry people.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[John Lovett]

But at some point you're not. At some point they've rolled through the hotel ballroom and they're out into the next part. When you're not. I don't know if you're running and catching that. I don't know exactly how you're producing this, but at some point you're now just standing there with a bunch of cameras in a ballroom. It's a bunch of freaked out people. You go like, well, thanks everybody, that's a wrap and we'll head out.

[Chinedu Anaka]

No, actually, we're running. We're running too. We're taking our cameras and we are running. And we have. One of the things that we do before we do the scene is we, we. It's almost like we case the joint rather than like scout a location, you know, so we know where the exits are and we know where the vans are going to be parked. And we know at a certain point there's a good chance that we're going to have to run. And we're running for that exit and that exit and that exit and there's a van waiting for us. And so we have to have all that stuff ready. We're not hanging around afterwards. We don't want people to question us unless the police catch us, which happened a few times. Also, you know, we had like about 150 police incidents on Borat.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah, yeah. Of all kinds, from regular police, local police, to like the Secret Service in Washington. We had everybody stopping us, questioning us, but there was Only two arrests the entire time.

[John Lovett]

So you're brave.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Not bad.

[John Lovett]

Not bad. It's a 2 out of 150. It's pretty good.

[Chinedu Anaka]

They're both in jail still, but, I mean, that's a separate.

[John Lovett]

So you're brave. There's bravery in you.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Or stupid. I don't know. I'm not sure. I think. I guess I'm not afraid now. Is that the same thing as bravery?

[John Lovett]

I don't think so.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah, I agree with you. I'm not running into situations recklessly. I am just from being from Brooklyn and being in a lot of confrontations in my life. I'm just not afraid. I know psychologically most people don't want violent confrontation, even if they threaten it. So for some reason, in those situations, those violent situations, I get calm. I don't know why that is. That's just my sociopathic personality, perhaps, but I don't get afraid of those situations. And I've been. You know, I did this show where I was in Somalia and places like that, and I just. I kind of get calm when things get really tense. I can't explain it.

[John Lovett]

When do you get really anxious?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Right now, before the show.

[John Lovett]

You get anxious?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah. Yeah. This freaks me out way more than Somalia.

[John Lovett]

Oh, that's. That's very silly. The stakes here are so low.

[Chinedu Anaka]

I don't know why. Again, I can't explain my psychology exactly.

[John Lovett]

So I saw you talking about Seinfeld and about one of your favorite moments, which is when Philip Baker Hall. Is that his name?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Was doing this. The book guy, Mr. Bookman or Detective Bookman or something.

[Chinedu Anaka]

He was a lieutenant. John.

[John Lovett]

Sorry, sorry. I don't want to take his rank down. But you said that you liked it because it was not the kind of thing that you would see in a sitcom. And, you know, there's so many shows, especially now, that are just like everything else. But then there are also a lot of crap of people whose goal is to make something that's not like everything, which is not enough of a reason to make something.

[Chinedu Anaka]

I agree with.

[John Lovett]

And I'm curious how you think about that, where it's like you're bored by what is or what has been happening, and so you want to kind of try to find something interesting to do that hasn't been done, but that leaves open. The reason people do things that have worked in the past is it's hard to have taste when you can't imagine what it could be. And I'm just wondering how you think about taste and figuring out how to make Something different that's still good.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Taste is a dangerous thing, I believe. I mean, you have to be willing to risk bad taste. You have to be. Look at John Waters. I mean, who's one of my heroes? You have to be willing to step over that line, and you have to be willing to fail. Failure is a big part of the equation, you know, and in Seinfeld, we assumed we were going to fail, and therefore, we had nothing to lose. And we wanted to just do a funny show. We thought it would get canceled after a few episodes and we would go on our merry way, continuing to be failures. And in a way, that was our liberation. And so we created something. You know, we worked on something and created something that was just funny for us. And it happened that we got lucky enough that the show stayed on air long enough for the audience to discover it. Things like that usually don't happen. There's a lot of kind of accidents, happy accidents that led to Seinfeld becoming Seinfeld. It wasn't Seinfeld at one time. It was a show that was barely hanging on, a show that was losing to a show called Jake and the Fat Man. That was the show that was kicking our ass in the ratings at that time.

[John Lovett]

You know, I don't think there's any reason to cast aspersions about a quality piece of 90s programming. Jake and the Fat Man.

[Chinedu Anaka]

You're right.

[John Lovett]

You're right.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Right. I love it myself. I watch it in reruns, so.

[John Lovett]

Because there's Jake, and he has his perspective.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

But it's totally different from where Fat Man's coming from.

[Chinedu Anaka]

The fat man, you know, he's a cop with integrity. He just has a weight problem, that's all.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. If only that character was ever even given a name.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah, he didn't like that either. That bothered him, too.

[John Lovett]

Well, you know, when I sure should. There was a Bea Arthur. You know, everyone. There's all this been like, you know, Bea Arthur was mean on the set of Golden Girls and didn't get along with the other women on the Shed. And I was like, of course she didn't. Every other character was made fun of their character's traits. Right. Betty White is stupid. You know, Blanche Devereaux is a slut. Bea Arthur's character was ugly.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Right.

[John Lovett]

And they're like, you're an ugly bitch. And she's like, stop doing that. I still leave like this.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

That sucks.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah. She's like that all the time and she can't help.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. It was a weird thing to make Central to a character. It's hard to go to work like that. It must wear on you.

[Chinedu Anaka]

It could have been Three Golden Girls and an Ugly bitch or something, and then the show would have been very different.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. It wouldn't have been kind. Has streaming been good?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Your segues are great, by the way.

[John Lovett]

Oh, thanks.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah. You're welcome. Has streaming been good? I can't tell. In a way, everything is about economics, and that depresses me. In a way. There's no real kind of originality. There's a need for all this programming to come out. Constantly feeding the machine. And I think that the good things get lost in the shuffle and the bad things dominate. And it's really hard for an audience to delineate things because they're being inundated with stuff all the time. So in a way, streaming is a way for these corporations, these media corporations to come up with new ways to make money. And so I don't have a great affection for it. These algorithms. I'm very skeptical of the whole process.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. But the other side of it is they're making a ton of stuff, and some of it is excellent. They are getting behind really interesting stuff.

[Chinedu Anaka]

It's hard to find that stuff, though.

[John Lovett]

Right. Which kind of makes it. But that's the audience's fault, too. That's true.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Maybe so.

[John Lovett]

Maybe so, because there's this.

[Chinedu Anaka]

I don't know if that's true, though. Sorry to interrupt you.

[John Lovett]

No, hit me.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah. I don't know if that's true, actually, because the brainwashing, the sophisticated brainwashing that goes on to manipulate you into watching something has reached a certain level now where the audience really doesn't. Almost can't make that choice. They think they're making a free choice, but they're actually being manipulated into thinking it's a free choice. And it's a choice that the corporations want them to make.

[John Lovett]

Wow. Do you believe in free will?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

That was lackluster.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Because they want to go back and watch their show.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. They're like, that's not why I watch Love Island. I watch Love island because I'm a fully complete formed person. I have independent thoughts. I'm gonna go home and watch Love Island.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Do you believe in free will?

[Chinedu Anaka]

No, I don't. I don't believe in free. I think everything is sort of. You know, we have certain choices, but I don't. I believe everything is like, as. As far back as you want to take it. You're being manipulated. Your mind is being conditioned constantly. And so so the idea is you're supposed to think you have a free choice or free will, but really, if you start to analyze all the strains and strands that have led to that choice, you realize it's a manipulation of some kind.

[John Lovett]

Okay. But that's why you gotta not do that. Oh, that's a revelation. That was your mistake right there. Wait, hold on. Let me ask you this.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes. Yes.

[John Lovett]

Okay. You're deciding in the morning whether to take the train or the bus.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Right.

[John Lovett]

You choose the train. Unbeknownst to you, the bus, it was broken down. It was never going to go. You were going to get to the bus station, turn around, go take the train anyway. But you chose the train. You never heard about the bus. Did you choose the train?

[Chinedu Anaka]

No, I don't think so. I think it's random. I think there's a lot of luck involved in our choices. And there are people that took the bus that day and had the broken down bus. So that day you made a good choice, but the next day you may not. There's no logic, there's no sort of consistency to that free will idea. You know, for the next day may be totally different. In fact, the next moment may be totally different.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Chinedu Anaka]

You've lost control.

[John Lovett]

I don't mind that.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Well, right. That may be okay. I mean, we have to live with that. We're here.

[John Lovett]

We are here.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah. So we have to make a decision about whether we're going to accept that or not. Because if you fight against it, it's not going to. Really. You can't win that fight. Is this getting too bleak?

[John Lovett]

No, no, I don't mind it. It's just giving me a lot to think about.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Me, too.

[John Lovett]

So you've worked with these different. You've worked with Sacha Baron Cohen, Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, these extraordinary, talented Jewish guys.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Have you. Like, isn't that. Why are we so funny? You think?

[Chinedu Anaka]

That's a great question. I think. I think I came from a part of Brooklyn that was like the Kingston, Jamaica of comedy. This part of Brooklyn, for some reason, generated a lot of great comedy talent from Mel Brooks and Lenny Bruce and Woody Allen and Larry David. And so many people came from that neighborhood. My latest theory on this is that there's a Talmudic. A Talmudic tradition of Jews arguing with each other and trying to top each other about the Bible or the Torah or whatever it is. And in a way that generated absurdities and laughter. When questions would be asked, there might be funny answers to those questions. And I kind of feel and this is just a theory that that might be the foundation for American Jewish comedy.

[John Lovett]

Interesting. I like to think about that whenever I go to, like, a deli in Los Angeles, like, if I'll go to Nate Nals or I'll go to Kantor's or one of the great delis, and I'll be there with, like, a Jewish friend of mine, and we'll be just talking, just, you know, Jews talk. We talk, we talk, we talk, we talk. And I'll have this moment where I'll look over to another booth and I'll see two old men sitting in a booth doing the same thing. And I think, God damn it, I'm gonna be doing this for 50 years.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And then somebody's gonna see me in this booth. Yes, that's something nice about that.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. This Talmudic tradition, there's a constant sort of back and forth. There's a contrarianism, There's a questioning, a constant questioning that goes on. Unfortunately, I think it's not as prevalent as it used to be, and that's why you see very bad decisions being made, like in Israel and places like that. But it's like, at one time, that was a very crucial element of Jewish life was the questioning of things. And maybe that's not so prevalent anyway now.

[John Lovett]

Were you almost arrested in Jerusalem or attacked in Jerusalem when you were speaking of Israel? Yeah, yeah. What happened?

[Chinedu Anaka]

We were doing Bruno, and we had a very short bit that we wanted to film, and I wanted to go to the most Orthodox neighborhood to film it. Sasha was supposed to wear a kind of Hasidic hot pants, and he had a jaunty Hasidic hat. And he was supposed to just walk from one corner to another, and the van was gonna drop him off at that one corner and then pick him up at the next corner. And we thought this was no big deal. It'll be funny. You'll get some funny reactions. And as soon as he got out of the van in the hot pants, people came running from every direction with rocks and started throwing. I'm a lefty. Started throwing the rocks. And he was being stoned, and he screamed out, I'm a Jew. And that made it worse. People were throwing bigger rocks, you know, and everybody. We all scrambled in different directions. And all I ever cared about was getting the scene. And I wanted to make sure it was being filmed, and I wanted to make sure our cameraman was getting it. And so he and I kind of stayed behind while everybody else scattered and eventually I was surrounded by a bunch of extremely angry haseeds holding rocks ready to stone me this close to me. And again, being from Brooklyn and used to the confrontation and not being freaked out about it, I had a monitor about the size of this thing and I held it up to them and I said, I will crack your fucking skull. You know, if you throw that, you might kill me, but I'm gonna kill you. You know, basically. And they all backed off. And the van came and I jumped in the van and I got away and we got the scene. The scene is in the movie. Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Speaking of me being alive. Yeah. Flawed to be alive. Yeah. If you kill me, I'll kill you. Is also a part of the tradition, Right? Very timely. Yeah.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And you know what that sound means. It's time for a segment we're calling 10 Buck Yucks.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

You said in your memoir that when you started out you would sell jokes on the street. Was in Los Angeles, New York. In Los Angeles, in front of the comedy store for $10, which adjusted for inflation would be $40,000. Now. Now I'm going to. We're going to share some classic jokes and you'll tell us how many dollars you think these are worth. Up to.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Is this today's dollars?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, sure. Yes. Yeah, sure. Real current dollars. Yeah.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

Post tariff dollars.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Right. Got it.

[John Lovett]

First joke. I've been in love with the same woman for 50 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Seven.

[John Lovett]

Seven. Okay. Why do divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

[Chinedu Anaka]

I would say that's no more than 650. Really?

[John Lovett]

650? 600.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Not as good as the other one.

[John Lovett]

A young Jewish man goes to his father and says, father, can you lend me $40? His father shakes his head and says, $30. What do you need $20 for? I love that one.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah. Yeah. I would give the $30 for that.

[John Lovett]

That's a good one. Yeah, that's good.

[Chinedu Anaka]

That has so much original construction. And that's a clever joke.

[John Lovett]

This one's one of my favorites, which is two old Jews are sitting side by side talking. One Jew totes the other and says, hey, you getting any on the side? And the other Jew says, they moved it.

[Chinedu Anaka]

That's not bad.

[John Lovett]

I told that joke to a rabbi on this stage.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Did he take a swing at you or she.

[John Lovett]

Women can be rabbis now.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Y.

[John Lovett]

She didn't like it?

[Chinedu Anaka]

No.

[John Lovett]

Let's see what we got. A speeding car hits an elderly Jewish man crossing the street. The paramedics Rush to his aid, says one. Sir, are you doing all right? Said the man, I make a living.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes. Well, that's such a. That's a hundred dollar joke. That's a classic.

[John Lovett]

That's a classic. That's a classic.

[Chinedu Anaka]

That's a classic.

[John Lovett]

That's a classic. Let's do one more. Okay, let's do one more. A Jewish mother and her son are walking on the beach when a tremendous wave hits the shore, sweeping the sun out to sea. You already know this one. You already know this. The mother calls to the heavens, God, please, he's my only child. The light of my life. Bring him back to me and I promise we'll go to synagogue every week. No, every day. With that, an even bigger wave crashes against the sand, depositing your son alive and well directed directly in front of her feet. The mother looks up at the sky and says, he was wearing a hat.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Also a great joke. It takes the construction of it. I love the structure. So I'll give that $100 as well.

[John Lovett]

So then you'll appreciate that Senator Mike Lee, who is despicable when he said. Said about the shooter in Minnesota and tried to blame it on the left. Nightmare on Walt Street. That is a despicable construction.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

That is disgusting.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Because it's Nightmare on Elm Street. Maybe Wolf of Wall Street. His name is Walls. What the are we doing here?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah, well, obviously not a Jew. I mean, that's, you know, that's why.

[John Lovett]

And that's such an important part of it.

[Chinedu Anaka]

If Chuck Schumann, if, If Chuck Schumer had made that joke, it would work.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. He could have pulled it off. He could have pulled it off. All right, give it up for Larry Charles.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

The book is Comedy Samurai.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Everybody, check out all these amazing stories.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Do I stay here now?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, you'll stay there. Thank you very much. When we come back, Larry and I are joined by Chinedu Anaka and Adam Lustic.

[Stephen Miller]

Kate, don't go anywhere. There's more of them. Love it or leave it. Coming up.

[John Lovett]

Love or leave it. Brought to you by Mint Mobile. You know what doesn't belong on your epic summer plans? Getting burned by your old wireless bill. While you're planning your beach trips, barbecues, and three day weekends, your wireless bill should be the last thing holding you back. With plans starting at $15 a month, Mint Mobile gives you premium wireless service on the nation's largest 5G network. The coverage and speed you're used to, but way less money. So while your friends are sweating over data overages and surprise charges. You'll be chilling, literally and financially. Say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans. Jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages, Mint Mobile is here to rescue you. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your own phone number along with all your existing contacts. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15amonth. Crooked Media's own Nina switched to Mint Mobile last year. She says she gets crystal clear service and the data speeds are excellent. A best of all, she's paying a fraction of what she was paying on her old plan with one of the big wireless companies this year. Skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank at your summer savings and shop premium wireless [e-mail] lovett that's mintmobile.com loveit upfront payment of $45 for 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 per month. New customer offer for first 3 months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. CMIT Mobile for details.

[Adam Lustig]

Instacart is here to keep you on the couch this basketball season. With pre game rituals and post game interviews, it's time for everything else. Let Instacart handle your game day snacks or weekly restocks with delivery in as fast as 30 minutes because it's bad luck to be hungry on game day. Download the Instacart app today and enjoy. $0 delivery fees on your first 3 orders. Service fees apply for 3 orders in 14 days. Excludes restaurants.

[Stephen Miller]

And we're back.

[John Lovett]

Please welcome to the Sage, the hilarious Chinedu Anaka. And for the first time this evening, the amazing Adam Lustig. Hi, nice to meet Harold Grey. Greg. Nice to meet you. All right.

[Stephen Miller]

Hey, Larry.

[John Lovett]

Good to see you again, man. We realized backstage, I mean, I just. Adam had been on the show in 2018.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes.

[Stephen Miller]

Pre Covid for sure.

[John Lovett]

Back when we were doing this back at the Improv during the first time Donald Trump was fucking president. Yes. With Stephen Miller. And here we are.

[Stephen Miller]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Right back.

[Stephen Miller]

Right back where we started.

[John Lovett]

Still. Still grinding away. Thank you for being here. Welcome to the show.

[F]

Thank you guys for having me. How's everybody doing? Y' all look good, man.

[John Lovett]

Nice to meet you.

[F]

Yeah, you too. Joe.

[John Lovett]

Adam. You're Jewish, right?

[Stephen Miller]

Very.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Very.

[John Lovett]

So it's three Jews and you. Yeah.

[Stephen Miller]

We kind of have you surrounded.

[F]

Yeah. It's not my first time.

[Chinedu Anaka]

It's not his first Shabbos.

[Stephen Miller]

That's exactly right.

[John Lovett]

We almost have a minion. Not really. We're far from a minion. This week there's been a ton of news. Wave after wave of news. The kind that drags you along the sand and tears your bathing suit bottoms off in front of the hottest lifeguard.

[F]

Been there.

[John Lovett]

There's been there. Anyway, we like to keep our listeners as informed as possible, which is why I'm gonna ask you all to squeeze off in a segment we're calling News it or lose it. There it is.

[Stephen Miller]

There it is.

[John Lovett]

News it. News it or lose It.

[Stephen Miller]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

Sometimes I gotta bully him a little bit.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Why do you think it's not on tv, this show? Where am I wrong? You've gotten so many good things on tv.

[Chinedu Anaka]

I'm stunned, actually. This belongs on tv. Yes.

[F]

Yeah, that's going.

[John Lovett]

That's going on a poster. That's the pull quote for the podcast.

[Chinedu Anaka]

This is more entertaining than most of what's on tv. And you know that yourself, I'm sure.

[Stephen Miller]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Yes. Well, I was fishing for a compliment.

[Stephen Miller]

I got one.

[John Lovett]

Caught a big one. First question. This week, an American man, and presumably voter Chris Smith talked to CBS News about falling in love.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Love.

[John Lovett]

Let's roll the clip. I'm not a very emotional man, but I cried my eyes out for like 30 minutes at work. It was unexpected to feel that emotional.

[Chinedu Anaka]

But that's when I realized I was like, oh, okay.

[John Lovett]

It's like, I think this is actual love. You know what I mean?

[Stephen Miller]

Think I know what he means.

[John Lovett]

Who did this man fall in love with?

[F]

Oh, I'm Trump.

[John Lovett]

Slightly smarter. Okay, I will say. Let me reframe the question. What did this man fall in love with?

[F]

What?

[John Lovett]

Oh, a bot.

[Stephen Miller]

A bot of some kind.

[F]

Like AI Woman.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, you got it.

[Stephen Miller]

Really?

[F]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

This man is talking about being in love with Chat. GPT.

[F]

Hey, Chat's a smooth talker, though.

[John Lovett]

That's right. Chris Smith, who used his name and whole human face on the news, talked to CBS this morning about his AI chatgpt girlfriend, whom he programmed and then fell in love with despite having a human girlfriend with whom he has a two year old daughter. Jerry.

[F]

Jerry.

[John Lovett]

Jerry. Trinity, where are you on AI? Lovers or platonic? Where are you in AI?

[F]

You know, I'm in the middle because if I was to find out my girl is cheating on me, I would love it to be AI and I could forgive that. And if she wants, we could invite that person in.

[Stephen Miller]

Oh, interesting.

[F]

Yeah, we can have a laptop up at the Cheesecake Factory. I'm not, I'm cool. You know what I mean? I'm open to that.

[Stephen Miller]

Wow.

[F]

Yeah.

[Stephen Miller]

So progressive of you.

[F]

100%. 100% forward thinking.

[John Lovett]

And then you never to worry about sharing those sliders.

[F]

That part, you know what I mean? So I think we're headed that way in some ways. I hear there's a loneliness epidemic out there too. So if that helps people from doing like crazy stuff, I'm all for it, you know?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I, I, yeah, I'm with you. I think maybe like first people could like join a bowling league, you know.

[Stephen Miller]

With other human beings.

[F]

Yeah, they're the, There's a fee.

[John Lovett]

There's a fee. Yeah, there is a fee for the bowling league. But maybe we can come up with some sort of loneliness rate if you prove how sad you are.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah, that's a pretty good idea.

[Chinedu Anaka]

So you're against the idea of a human having a relationship with AI?

[John Lovett]

Wow, you're really putting it to me.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah. Pro or against, John? Pro or against?

[Chinedu Anaka]

I mean, not to. He's cheating on his girlfriend in a way, emotionally.

[F]

He should have told.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Assuming everything was clean. What's wrong with that relationship?

[F]

Right. Cause I get excited when a self check line is empty. Just a little bit.

[Stephen Miller]

It's kind of romantic.

[F]

Just a little bit.

[Stephen Miller]

It's kind of romantic.

[John Lovett]

Say, hey babe.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Please put your stuff in the bag.

[John Lovett]

You know what, Larry? Thank you for asking that question. I think I don't have a specific problem with the, the final moment of having a relationship with AI. What makes me worried is all the things that went wrong before the person sat at that computer. And it's a broken world, a sad world where people are not finding this with human beings. And it's, and, and it may be that person's fault. They may have terrible qualities. Yeah. But it also is part of the problem of how we live right now, which is a world they didn't build. It's unfair to them. And so there's, there's a convenience. It's a little bit like streaming. Right. It is a better night. A night where you go out to dinner, go to the movies, have a drink after and go home. But that moment where you decide not to do that feels awesome. And you're like, oh, I'm just gonna watch Real Housewives. It's gonna be so fucking good. But if you do that over and over again, you chose this thing that you thought you wanted over and over and over again. But at the end of the week, you'd be a happier person had you done the harder thing sooner than. And it's. And we live in a world where it's so much easier to choose the easy thing. And so that makes me sad.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah.

[Chinedu Anaka]

And that's the illusion of free will as well.

[John Lovett]

Fuck.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Whoa.

[John Lovett]

Wow. He got me.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Whoa.

[John Lovett]

He got me.

[Stephen Miller]

Seems like a nice guy. He seems happy, so I'm happy for him.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah, Yeah. I love love.

[Chinedu Anaka]

He didn't seem happy.

[John Lovett]

No.

[Stephen Miller]

Did he not?

[Chinedu Anaka]

He didn't seem happy. He was crying and he was, like, being very weird. Actually.

[Stephen Miller]

That's not what happy looks like.

[John Lovett]

Next up, Republic Airlines CEO and commercial airline pilot Brian Bedford. Trump's nominee to head up the faa, was in the spotlight this month, not just because his nomination is going to a vote on June 25, but because POLITICO and the Air Current. Fun name for an era, you know, for a newspaper about air stuff.

[Chinedu Anaka]

The current. Very clever.

[John Lovett]

I like it. I like it. I like it. They revealed he does not actually have. Have this. What doesn't he have? He doesn't have something. He said he had.

[Chinedu Anaka]

An AI Wife, a pilot's license.

[John Lovett]

That's it. Oh, really?

[Stephen Miller]

A pilot's license?

[John Lovett]

He doesn't have a pilot's license. His official biography claims he's certified to fly commercial flights, but Politico discovered he does not actually have a commercial license of any kind. The Department of Transportation said in a statement Brian never misrepresented his credential. It was an administrative error that was immediately correct. Though he did admit he does not have a commercial license in a questionnaire released on Monday.

[F]

Is there a shortage of pilots?

[John Lovett]

There is.

[F]

Well, then, you know, sometimes you got to bend the rules a little bit.

[Stephen Miller]

We got places to be, what the market demands.

[F]

Yeah.

[Stephen Miller]

He should borrow Nathan Fielders.

[John Lovett]

The planes are trying to sell.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Nathan Fielder is actually more qualified for that job than the striker.

[Stephen Miller]

Exactly.

[John Lovett]

What did you think about Nathan Fielder? To me, feels like a kind of. Of whatever heir to the Borat kind of gonzo comedy thing. Like when you watch Nathan Fielder fly. This is a spoiler alert for. Well, I guess you've already it. Are you gonna watch the rehearsal? Well, when you watch it, he does something. He does things that you see and you think, I cannot believe I'm watching this. Do you feel like that's like the legacy of Borat?

[Chinedu Anaka]

I don't. I think he's taking it to a very different place. Place. I thought that was an extremely original show. We're talking about all the glut of stuff on streaming that show stood out to me. There's nothing like that show. Just like this one. There's nothing like it really thought, wow.

[John Lovett]

I didn't picture that one. That fish jumped right in the boat. That's like one of those. Those are those one. Those flying fish that aren't supposed to be there. That was an Asian carp. I got hit by an Asian carp of a. And I loved it.

[F]

Like a staff fish filet, you know, free food.

[Chinedu Anaka]

It's a corn pond of comedy.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, that was right. I like that. I like that. Next question. Which two basketball teams are squaring off this. What's funny about this show is we have the most specific, arcane questions about the news. And this question is, what two basketball teams are in the NBA Finals?

[Stephen Miller]

Okay. We were talking about this backstage. John, I should warn you.

[John Lovett]

Really?

[Stephen Miller]

Yes.

[F]

These guys know it's OKC and the nice Indiana Pacers. Yes. 102 small market teams.

[Stephen Miller]

That's right.

[F]

Yeah. Great. Serious. But the viewership has been one of the lowest since.

[John Lovett]

Really?

[F]

Yeah. Just because there's no, like, big stars. But, I mean, I'm enjoying myself.

[Stephen Miller]

We're enjoying it. Absolutely.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[F]

Anybody else watching? It's just us.

[Stephen Miller]

Any rooting interest?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, of course.

[F]

My man.

[John Lovett]

Do you want to know who wants. Shut the up. Shut up.

[F]

I deleted four group chats today.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[F]

Yes.

[Chinedu Anaka]

They have been so neurotic about this backstage. You have no idea.

[F]

Thank you for asking.

[Stephen Miller]

Thank you. Thank you for.

[John Lovett]

You know what? Honestly, I want to say I apologize for how I reacted. I was. I got pretty heated on their behalf because I'm like a freak about spoilers, you know? Like, I watch soccer now. Cool. I've made. You know, I can't believe it's happened, but I do. I watch soccer now. I go to Angel City games in LA all the time, and I love it. And I'm really learning about it. Like, I found out what offside is. Sides was.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah.

[F]

Did you. Did you play? No, I coached.

[John Lovett]

You coach soccer?

[F]

I know nothing about soccer, but when I was a teacher, they needed a soccer coach, and so they're like, you're athletic. I was like, all right, bet. And so I coached soccer for a season.

[Stephen Miller]

That's cool.

[John Lovett]

Oh, really?

[F]

Yeah.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah.

[F]

You pick it up or you make them up? Yeah, you pick it up.

[John Lovett]

How old were the kids?

[F]

The middle school? Low stakes.

[John Lovett]

Boys or girls?

[F]

Boys.

[John Lovett]

So they're just at the age where they're kind of like.

[F]

And they were good.

[John Lovett]

They were good.

[F]

Yeah. It's more. It's more yelling and encouragement. Keep doing that.

[Stephen Miller]

Nice.

[F]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Keep it up.

[F]

Yeah, yeah. I taught special education. Math, English. Yeah. Maths matter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Appreciate that. Yeah, man.

[John Lovett]

Where'd you do that? Where were you teaching?

[Stephen Miller]

La.

[F]

I taught in la. Sorry.

[John Lovett]

What do you think about someone who had such a meaningful and important work with kids?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah, I'm very impressed with it.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Because while you were fucking off with jokes.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Exactly.

[F]

I was doing jokes, too.

[John Lovett]

He was doing jokes. He was doing jokes. But he was, like, helping kids in school, coaching these kids, teaching them about the world. You're like, sasha, why do you tell this store clerk that? He's an idiot.

[F]

Yeah, but to me, getting real mad.

[Chinedu Anaka]

But we're here together, so.

[John Lovett]

That's right.

[Chinedu Anaka]

That's the nice thing about it.

[F]

I used to warm up the class with, like, crowd work and stuff. Did you?

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[John Lovett]

What else, what else, what else? You guys see these.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Palms?

[Stephen Miller]

What about these pogs?

[Chinedu Anaka]

He'd asked them where they're from, but he knew where they're from, right? Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Anybody you're dating? All right, next question. Despite being in charge of vetting thousands of administration employees, Trump's Director of presidential personnel, Sergio Gore, hadn't completed his own vetting process, refusing to turn in the 100 page background dossier required for a permanent security clearance. This week, the former Ron Paul aide refused to answer what personal question when contacted by the New York Post. Is it Ed? A, are you married? B, what country were you born in? C, did you graduate high school? D, did you DJ Matt Gaetz's wedding?

[Chinedu Anaka]

I'm going for all the above. E.

[F]

I'm gonna go for.

[Stephen Miller]

D. Matt Gaetz's wedding? Yeah, I'm gonna say he refused to answer. Are you married?

[John Lovett]

All of you are wrong. He didn't answer what question?

[Chinedu Anaka]

It was one of the questions that was on the car.

[John Lovett]

What country were you born in? Apparently reports say he brags about being born in Malta, though a Maltese official contacted by the Post could not find any record of his birth happening in the small country of just over 500,000 people, saying in a statement, no acts are registered with these provided details.

[Chinedu Anaka]

And his last name is? Gore.

[John Lovett]

His name is Gore. And by the way, he did DJ Mac. Does it sound like.

[F]

Does it sound like something. Something he would do?

[Stephen Miller]

Oh, my God.

[John Lovett]

Terror.

[Chinedu Anaka]

So you mean Kid Rock's real name is.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's under a pseudonym.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah, right, right.

[John Lovett]

Former White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney expressed his concern to the press this week over where the President would Land his helicopter after Trump unveiled two new. What?

[F]

Where he.

[Stephen Miller]

Where Trump would land his helicopter after he unveiled two new.

[John Lovett]

What would stop him from landing his helicopter?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Oh, a helipad.

[John Lovett]

Well, that would make it easy.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah.

[F]

Maybe ankle braces.

[John Lovett]

It was two flag poles on the North Lawn, one on the South Lawn. He put in these giant fucking flag poles.

[Stephen Miller]

Loser, man.

[F]

For what?

[John Lovett]

Why the pole is so thick? Cause he's a fucking asshole, that's why. Because he's a bored soul.

[F]

He's just, like, reorganizing the whole.

[Stephen Miller]

Yes.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Just.

[F]

Why don't you have work to do?

[John Lovett]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Here's what he said about it. It is my great honor to announce that I will be putting up two beautiful flag poles. Oh, God. On both sides of the White House. It is a gift from me. Something which was always missing from this magnificent place. It was not missing. There is a flagpole on top of the White House, famously where the American flag flies above the fucking White House. But because he has the same intellectual capacity as a child that is not able to understand that when you do peekaboo, the person remains because he can't see the flag out the window. It doesn't exist. Of other people seeing a world where he is an object. And I can see the flag on top of the building. So there are no flags.

[F]

Yeah. Main character syndrome.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Maybe. Maybe he actually went blind when he looked at the eclipse.

[John Lovett]

Yes. Yes. That's why the flags have to be so big.

[Chinedu Anaka]

They come bigger in front of him.

[John Lovett]

Right in front, right in front of him because he stared at that stupid eclipse.

[Stephen Miller]

Every single dumb, impulsive, idiotic decision that he makes, it is just terrible. Like the amount of bureaucratic paperwork that has to follow now. They have to find new places to land. So it has real consequences for real people trying to do real, real worker.

[F]

This is tough for the next president because you want to remove the flags, but, you know, the news coverage are moving.

[John Lovett]

Oh, taking down the flag. The flag that our troops fight for is a piece of fucking shit.

[F]

I'd be like, I'm adding it to the roof.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, that's right. No, the flags are not being. Now, then there's like a. This is how the Democrats would handle it.

[F]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Then there'd be, like, the press secretary would say, like, there's a lot of misinformation that President Buttigieg is removing American flags. There's a lot of misinformation President Klobuchar is removing the flags. Obviously, as the president said, the flags are being moved to a museum. Yes. And we'll be going from school to school.

[F]

They'll be touring until you lose money.

[Chinedu Anaka]

One of them is for the Confederate flag, right?

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Lovett]

This week, the New York Times is reporting that the Trump administration is considering overturning the ban on this outlawed building material, which is prohibited in over 50 countries due to its link to lung and other forms of cancer.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Well, that's asbestos.

[Stephen Miller]

Asbestos.

[John Lovett]

They're going to take. They want us. They're bringing asbestos back.

[Stephen Miller]

Asbestos, great. Again.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Make America cancerous again.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, that's exactly. When I graduated from college, I worked as a temp, paralegal, and my job was filling out the paperwork for people trying to access those funds for methylphilia. You know, they advertise on the subway that's like, if you mesothelioma call this number. I was at the other side of that process filling out the forms in a windowless room with an improv person, a baker, and, like, all of us sitting, just being like, where are we? What is this nightmare? It was very, like, Brazil. Like, we're the movie Brazil, not the country Brazil, but, like, where we were in a windowless room, and then a legal aide would come by with a cart with a certain stack of paperwork. And our goal was to get to the bottom of our stack before she came with more. But it was fucking random. It was random.

[Chinedu Anaka]

That is very Brazil.

[John Lovett]

Like, yeah, I didn't teach kids.

[F]

I mean, we're all teaching in one way.

[John Lovett]

Adam, you're working on a YouTube channel that's about explaining issues like this.

[Stephen Miller]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

To people called now what?

[Stephen Miller]

It's called now what? And it is a kind of animation comedy initiative that was started by these two wonderful people, Brendan Birch and Wendy Willis, who used to work at this great animation company, Six Point Hart. And, yeah, they kind of launched it before the election to help get Kamala elected. So that. That worked. That was good. But they've been. Yeah, making a lot of wonderful animated shorts, you know, trying to sort of like, you know, get the youth out to vote and be informed about things like the gun control and what's really in the big beautiful bill and housing crisis, et cetera. So, yeah, it's been really great.

[John Lovett]

That's great. And just because I thought it was funny, there was apparently an episode of 2 Broke Girls in 2013 where they added jokes on the day of the shoot to make fun of your baldness.

[Stephen Miller]

Correctamundo. Yeah, that's right.

[John Lovett]

Yes, exactly.

[Stephen Miller]

Right. Yeah, it was one episode. We were at a diner.

[John Lovett]

I was supposed to be, like, sort.

[Stephen Miller]

Of A shitty boyfriend or something. That was the bit of the scene, I guess. And on the day they were like, oh, this would be great, really poke fun of him. And I believe the line they added, it was something along the lines of I can't remember, I'm going to butcher it.

[John Lovett]

I think.

[Stephen Miller]

Butcher.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Two broke girls go for it.

[Stephen Miller]

But two brokers are from 13 years ago. But anyway, sorry, I can't remember. But yes, they did. They went out of their way to sort of mock my baldness in the scene. So sort of. It's my calling card, I guess.

[John Lovett]

So that's.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah.

[F]

That was their first time doing it on the show.

[Stephen Miller]

Having a bald person on the show. I was in. That was one scene I was just in. I would never. The show before or.

[F]

But that wasn't a script when you auditioned.

[Stephen Miller]

Correct.

[F]

And they threw that on you when you got there.

[Stephen Miller]

Hey, he's bald. Maybe put some jokes in about that. Yeah, exactly.

[F]

Tell me that before I say, did they ask you?

[Stephen Miller]

No, no. I was such a good sport. And it was.

[John Lovett]

I was.

[F]

Yeah, of course. I'm going say yeah too.

[Stephen Miller]

Of course.

[F]

Obviously. What are you going to do? But inside I'm like mother.

[John Lovett]

Exactly.

[Stephen Miller]

That's right.

[F]

My mom's watching this.

[Stephen Miller]

Exactly.

[John Lovett]

Would you have done that to Adam, Larry?

[Chinedu Anaka]

Well, Larry David, I mean, was a. He was an openly bald person.

[John Lovett]

So yeah. Yeah, he really broke down that highest, hardest bald ceiling.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Right. And so we had somebody in the show. We had a reg. Unlike Broke 2 Broke Girls, we had a regular character in the show who was bald. Yes.

[John Lovett]

J, you won the game. Wow.

[Stephen Miller]

Congratulations, man.

[John Lovett]

Congrats. You won the game. You know what? I won the game.

[Chinedu Anaka]

He's a teacher.

[John Lovett]

Cuz. He was a fucking teacher.

[Chinedu Anaka]

She was a teacher.

[John Lovett]

She's a teacher. While you were doing your little jokes about. About your appearance at you and Larry was like, I don't know, maybe they could talk about nothing. You were helping.

[Chinedu Anaka]

He's helping people.

[F]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

We'll be right back.

[Stephen Miller]

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it coming up.

[Tina Smith]

Look, if you've got prescriptions, the Walmart app is your place to manage them. Transfer your scripts, refill them and have them delivered straight to you. Migraines, managed allergies, alleviated dermatology, Derma delivered ding dong. Is that your pizza? Nope. Walmart pharmacy delivery with a refill. Switch to Walmart and manage your prescriptions in the app. The Walmart you thought you knew is now new delivery. Not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.

[John Lovett]

Love or leave it is brought to you by Sundaze Sundaes is fresh dog food made from a short list of human grade ingredients. Sundaze was co founded by Dr. Tori Waxman, practicing veterinarian who tests and formulates every version of each recipe. Sundays contains 90% meat, 10% superfoods and 0% synthetic nutrition or artificial ingredients. Nice of that doctor to test all these different dog foods. I know she must find them to be delicious. Dog parents report noticeable health improvements in their pups including softer fur, fresher breath, better poops and more energy after switching to Sundays. Our dogs love Sundays.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah, we, we. Leo runs to the the bowl.

[John Lovett]

Run to the bowl. Run. Don't walk to the bowl. Unlike other fresh dog food, Sundays does not require refrigeration or preparation because of their air drying process. Just pour and syrup. That's huge. Cuz the, the, the refrigerating or it's like what are we doing here? All right. They're animals that live in our houses. The food should come in a bag. Y this dog would eat cheese out of a diaper. What are we doing? When you start a Sunday subscription, you automatically get 20% off of free shipping on every reorder. Cancel or pause your subscription anytime. With our 100% satisfaction guarantee, every order ships right to your door. So you'll never worry about running out of dog food again. It's very easy to store, it's very easy to serve. Look, obviously I would do anything for pundit. I'd kill for pundit. So that's why it's so great to have sundaes, you know. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to sundaysfordogs.com Love it. Or use code Love it at checkout. That's sundaysfordogs.com Love It. Code Love it. And we're back. Yay. Before we get to the end of the show, if you need a moment to escape from the chaos, subscribe to our Friends of the Pod subscription to Unlock Terminally Online. It's a subscriber only show where Cricket hosts and staff dive headfirst into the Internet's wildest corners. In the latest episode, I'm joined by Cricket's own Kiril, Kendra and Elijah. I'll be talking about something that I have been a little bit obsessed with, which is so you know how on TikTok, the algorithm that Larry loves, it is constantly showing us people fighting in public spaces, right? Those do really well. They get a lot of audience. People are renting out in Los Angeles in the Area planes, sets, staging fucking fights and then posting them to get rage clicks. So if you're on, like, social media and you see, like, oh, a MAGA person and a liberal fighting on a plane, that might be a set, that's the rabbit hole I'm going down. Yeah.

[F]

The acting's not great, though, so you.

[Stephen Miller]

Can pick a smell of fake. Pretty good.

[John Lovett]

They're getting worse. They're getting worse. They're getting cheaper and they're getting worse.

[F]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Anyway, [e-mail] friends all right, we are recording this show on Juneteenth, a day that marks the release of the Last American slaves 2 1/2 years after the Emancipation Proclamation. In the spirit of something that's better late than never, we're each. We're each gonna share something great we found too late in a segment we're calling the Late and Irate Wheel. So in this wheel, we're just. We're just gonna talk about something we discovered too late, but better late than never, you know? Let's see the wheel.

[F]

Wow.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Oh, genitive.

[John Lovett]

Genitive.

[F]

Something that's late, but it's good.

[John Lovett]

I don't know.

[F]

This is everywhere, but I've been seeing it more often. You know that when you put the parking meters now they have, like, a QR code that you could pay. You don't have to come back. Yes. When you run out of time, you don't have to go. Now you could pay wherever you are. You know what I mean? And so now I feel like I'm getting way less parking tickets for that reason. And so I think that's a good thing. But I wonder. That technology was available a long time ago, and I wonder who pushed that through. And whoever did. Did. Should be running for president.

[John Lovett]

Kudos. Yeah. That is better to have the QR codes. I saw that the other day. It was cool. God, I wonder. Yeah. I wonder what kind of convoluted hell, like, process it took to get those QR codes onto those parking meters in.

[F]

Los Angeles, you know, because the money's in the ticket, not in the actual meter, you know?

[John Lovett]

Right. With different budgets, too. You know, it's like, you know, there's somebody who's got to want to try to get money for the tickets. You know what's been driving me crazy in Los Angeles lately? Has anyone else noticed noticing that more and more cars have darker and darker tinted windows? That it's getting out of control? It is getting out of control. It's the middle of the day. These are just pitch black windows, and it's and it. And like, I worry about what it's like at night, but. But it. It's like, hey, part of the code of being fellow human beings is I need to. You need to. I need to see that. You see that. I see you.

[Stephen Miller]

Correct.

[John Lovett]

For getting in.

[Stephen Miller]

Right.

[John Lovett]

What the fuck?

[F]

Totally Uber.

[John Lovett]

No, no, just generally. Generally all the cars have tinted windows and like their windshields are tinted now.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

What's going on?

[F]

I think. Yeah.

[Chinedu Anaka]

I mean, people are doing weird things.

[F]

They're digging boogers. Yeah. Usually.

[John Lovett]

Try.

[Stephen Miller]

Usually boogers. I think.

[F]

Yeah. That's why I pick my nose.

[John Lovett]

No.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Do you have tinted windows?

[F]

No, I just. I picked up my spots are good.

[John Lovett]

That's confidence. That's knowing yourself.

[Chinedu Anaka]

He was a teacher.

[John Lovett]

Because he was a teacher. I do think there's a connection between the tinted windows and the people falling in love with ChatGPT. I can see a connection.

[Chinedu Anaka]

It's happening inside the cars.

[John Lovett]

It is. And that's the connection. It's what's happening inside the vehicles themselves. It's like, I don't need tinted windows. And. Yeah. I'm going to McDonald's in the morning and I am doing the double cheeseburger. Second double cheeseburger for a dollar and then eating them both in the morning. John. Well after 11.

[Stephen Miller]

Right?

[John Lovett]

Right. Should I get the fucking salad, Adam?

[Chinedu Anaka]

I don't think they even have the burger.

[John Lovett]

I'm gonna get the salad at the office. That's why I have to have the burgers on the way. Those are my secret burgers to make the Sal. Let's spin it again. Hey, Larry, what's something that you came to or that came to you? Better late than never.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Well, you know, I thought about this question so deeply that I actually wrote something down.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Chinedu Anaka]

And I'm even gonna take my glasses off.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chinedu Anaka]

And this is not particularly a funny one. And I'll just read it. The things that I feel are lazy. Late still haven't come. I would call these things too late. That's how late they are. The end of the Palestinian genocide. No matter when it happens, it's going to be too late. We led the coup in Iran in 1953 that ousted their democratically elected leader and replaced him with a stooge, the Shah of Iran, which led to the Islamic revolution. And now we're still meddling in their business and going to war with them along with their Israel. Like, no matter when that ends, it's too late. You know, gay marriage was passed, but now it's in danger of being taken Away along with trans rights, you know, so no matter. So even though those things came along, now they're being repealed. You know, that's. That's the environment we're in, the climate. And of course, the end of Trump, no matter when Trump ends, in whatever form he ends, it's going to be too late. So that's my.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, it's true. It's true.

[Chinedu Anaka]

And I wrote it down.

[John Lovett]

I'm glad you did.

[Chinedu Anaka]

I could never have done it otherwise.

[John Lovett]

Let's spin it again.

[Stephen Miller]

I wonder who it could possibly be. Oh, my God, it's me.

[F]

It is Leon.

[Stephen Miller]

So this is something that is, I feel like, late. Maybe not for me personally, but more for the culture, which is the lionization of Paul Reubens. I love the Paul Rubens reputational repair.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes.

[Stephen Miller]

I feel like. I don't know if you. I don't know him personally, but of course, Pee Wee meant the world to us and all. I think I speak for all of us and saying it meant the world to us. And by all anecdotal accounts and by all whatever, he was just like a menchy, lovely, caring, thoughtful, silly, kind man who was, as we all know, like, you know, infamously busted for masturbating in a porno theater, which is kind of like being busted for bowling in a bowling alley, I guess. But. And it. I. I just am happy that better late than never. He is sort of getting the kind of reputational whatever that I feel like is long deserved.

[Chinedu Anaka]

That's a good one.

[John Lovett]

That's a really good one. And what we were talking about earlier, too, about just doing something no one else had done before, and just there was a story. I'm losing her name because I'm remembering from the Fly. But she was the male person on Phoebe's Herman, Stevie Herman's plan before she was ever on Law and Order. And it was her first day, and Pee Wee Herman was just making her crack up. Like she was just losing it. She was laughing. She couldn't stop laughing. She's, like, trying to keep it together. He kept doing new stuff to make her laugh. He was laughing, having a great time. And the director who was directing this thing just kept saying, we're gonna lose it. You gotta get it. You gotta get it. He's getting more and more angry. And she turns to Paul Rubens and is like, hey, you keep making me. Please just stop looking at me. You're making me laugh. I'm gonna lose this job. They're gonna find me. Me. And Paul Rubens just goes, that's up to me, it's like, such a good story.

[Chinedu Anaka]

That's great.

[John Lovett]

It's my decision. That's great. Really cool. Yeah, really cool. Let's spin it again. It is.

[Chinedu Anaka]

This wheel is rigged.

[Stephen Miller]

I think it is rigged.

[John Lovett]

It's a. It is a bit. It is a bit rigged. It's all. Also, it forces you to ask, what purpose does it serve?

[Stephen Miller]

We could just take turns without.

[John Lovett]

We could potentially just take turns without it. But it adds a little something. It's Hollywood. We're in Hollywood. We used to make things here.

[Stephen Miller]

We used to make things.

[John Lovett]

Here's what I came late to. I came late to the whole. I've talked about it. But Real Housewives, I came late to. And I love it so much. I cannot believe how entertaining it is. It's got its hooks in me. It is some of the best. The writing is as good as any writing. The acting is as good as any acting. The stories are as good as any stories. It is fucking incredible. Every episode has a line where, if you saw it in a scripted drama or comedy, you think, that is one of the funniest, most creative things I've ever heard just coming out of these fucking women's mouths. And it rules. And I love it. And I'm gonna try to interview them as much as possible now, and I'm gonna. And their stories are now gonna be infused into everything I do, and that's become part of my identity. The Real Housewives are part of my identity. We just finished all the way through New York. Now we're back at Beverly Hills from the jump. Oh, my God. I didn't know Lisa Vanderpump was British. I found that out this fucking week. British Vanderpump. Where's their money from? It can't be from restaurants. That house is too big for it to have come from restaurants. It's a tough business, the restaurant business.

[F]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

It's low margin. If it rains, you lose the whole fucking day.

[Chinedu Anaka]

It's crazy.

[John Lovett]

Too much house for restaurants. I also came late to the point plug for genuine special.

[F]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Which is your. Your special's on Hulu on July 11th.

[F]

July 11th. Yep.

[John Lovett]

But you could see him 247 on Instagram.

[F]

Yeah. Not. Not 24 7. I don't know. But usually three days out the week, I might. I might post something or share something.

[John Lovett]

Right. I guess it's. You're not there 24 7. But we could be.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yeah, facts exactly.

[John Lovett]

We could be there anytime.

[F]

100%.

[John Lovett]

That's the thing about Instagram.

[F]

I'm on it. I just, I'm not posting often, but if you DM me, I'll see it.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[F]

And I. I respond, that's sweet. I'm like, yeah, man, appreciate it.

[John Lovett]

I like that they all have these little tiny dogs.

[F]

Oh, housewives.

[John Lovett]

All right, everybody, check out Jadu special. Check out Adam's work for now. What? Everybody, check out Larry's book Comedy Samurai. 40 Years of Blood Guts Laughter in Equal measure.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Yes, sir.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, that's our show. One more time for Larry Charles, China and Adam Lustic. We will see you next week at the Elian theater. There are 500 days until the midterms. Have a great night. Have a great weekend. Straight Shoot. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love it or leave it on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pods subscription community for ad free Love it or Leave it and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber exclusive pods and more. Sign [e-mail] friends love it or Leave it is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Coffin, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre and Will Miles are our writers. Jordan Cantor is our editor, Kyle Segment and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Chercher. Thanks to our designer, Sammy Cadorna Rees for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And thanks to our digital producers, David Tools, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Delon Villanueva and Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week. Our head of production is Matt de Groat and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.

[Tina Smith]

Look, if you've got prescriptions, the Walmart app is your place to manage them, transfer your scripts, refill them, and have them delivered straight to your you. Migraines, managed allergies, alleviated dermatology, derma delivered.

[John Lovett]

Ding dong.

[Tina Smith]

Is that your pizza? Nope. Walmart pharmacy delivery with a refill. Switch to Walmart and manage your prescriptions in the app. The Walmart you thought you knew is now new delivery. Not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.

[Chinedu Anaka]

Get ready for July 4th with early savings at Lowe's. Lowe's right now get up to 40% off select major appliances and get an additional 10% off two or more select major appliances. Plus get three stay green or premium two cubic foot mulch bags for just $10. These deals are coming in hot. Lowes we help you Save. Valid through 625. Selection varies by location. Wall supplies last seeloes.com for more details. Excludes Alaska and Hawaii.